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fatalbreath : |
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Hey!! How have you been?? Do you have msn? Everything's the same with me as before... just in a different place with different people. I'm getting by though <3
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fatalbreath : |
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yes. got married a while ago.
sorry I'm never on. I miss this community.
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fatalbreath : |
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Yeah I know I'm going about trying to lose the weight the wrong way too, but I can't help it. I keep binging though urg. My fiance is great... soo smart and cute. He's SO skinny though, it's not fair :( And the wedding's going to be fairly small, just close family and friends.
What about you, what's new??
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fatalbreath : |
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I've gained a LOT of weight and am completely miserable about that. BUT I'm getting married in two months!! What's new with you?
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fatalbreath : |
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Jori? I miss you... I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. I hope you're doing okay *hugs*
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noneyouknow : |
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Just keep focused on the fact that you are moving soon. And as far as the women at work, if they have nothing better to do then to be bitchy then just stay away from them as best as you can.
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dimstar : |
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Hey Jori. Dont give up. You are better than this.
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not-to-be : |
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thanks a ton. feedback really helps.
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alexiaaa : |
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Thanks for the intro! Its a great idea. I read your diary and youve filled in some gaps
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dimstar : |
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Whoa sweetie, what happened between when I talked to you and this entry? You know I love you to death. I only want the best for you and that e-mail a bit ago? It was just asking how come you didn't talk to me anymore on the phone and explaining the reason I quit IMing you was bc you didnt pick up the phone when I called! But its all okay now. You mean the world to me. Take care. xo Gwen
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evababy777 : |
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haha. i'm stubborn and opinionated too. :) i'm glad it's resolved. i feel like i understand where you are coming from now.
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evababy777 : |
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ahhhhhhhh, so you're talking about dimstar. i didn't realize i had made it personal by citing her diary. i cited her diary because 1) i wish she wasn't dealing with this, 2) i want others to know what an awful disease it is, what it does to someone, and i don't think there is a better way to do it than to hear about it from someone who is dealing with it. gwen has a painful story, but it's also inspiring because maybe girls who are contemplating starving themselves or binging and purging will realize how awful it is after reading her diary. gwen has the power to reach so many young girls. but, if it's too personal or offensive, i'll take her link out of it.
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evababy777 : |
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also, even if we don't have a choice in what happens to us, we have a choice in how we react. crappy things have happened to me, i've had low self-esteem and depression at times, people i care about have died, i've been sick, etc... and i can blame all of my choices on the things that have happened to me, but in the end, my reaction was my choice.
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evababy777 : |
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i know that not everyone can be strong, but i wish that everyone were. and i do know sarah's story. she is a friend. and i know her boyfriend. her friends. her struggles. she did not have an eating disorder before bret. she may have had low self-esteem before hand, which allowed bret to influence her. i conceed that. but it is an awful disease. it's awful that anyone has to deal with it. and i wish that she was better. there is nothing wrong with that. nor is there anything wrong with me voicing my opinion in my diary.
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your-fitness : |
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Hi there, I hope you get to the point of healthiness that you want to achieve, and get there the right way--I have had a lot of friends with anorexia and it's not a pretty disease at all. One of them was bulimic also and it was very scary--she shied away from all her friends and most of us felt really helpless because we didn't live in her area and since we were just sophomores in high school, we couldn't do a lot to help--we couldn't drive over or call long distance--well we'd try but she wouldn't take our phone calls. I hope she is ok out there somewhere and I hope you are too. I know it's kind of weird hearing this from a total stranger but I really just want people to be happy, mostly because I am unhappy too and I don't want to be that way anymore.
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dimstar : |
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Jori, congrats. Im sorry about Cosmo :( I wish you were here. xo Gwen
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fatalbreath : |
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thanks so much... you always make me smile! <3
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fatalbreath : |
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*HUG*
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dimstar : |
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You are right. We aren't free. I miss you so much. Take care of yourself. xoxo Gwennie
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dimstar : |
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Jori Pori pudding and pie.... My mom's favorite runts are the banana flavored ones btw... And the renentment towards taco bell, shall we psycho analyze that ;)? Okay, I miss you. You should see my room. I've been collaging my walls, have the coolest hanging lamp, and a netting thing over my bed now as well as my computer. You would love it. Anyways, not much new here. And I am always here to listen! I love you dearly. You are my sister. xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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(((hugs))) Love you sweetheart. I know you can overcome anything. You are an amazing woman and have done so much good in your life. Don't forget that. Please take care of yourself. xoxo Gwennie
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adulterous-k : |
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Hey there! Thanks for the nice note - I see you added my diary to your favourites - but I'm not updating anymore as I've moved to amb1valent-k instead. Another four months for you to read there if you're interested. Thanks again!
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dimstar : |
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I wish I could help more. I wish I could do something. But I never have been able to be any help at all. I just want you to know that I care and you always have a place with me wherever I am. I'm glad you found Krystal. (((hugs))) Gwen
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dimstar : |
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I miss you. I'm moving home. I wish you were here with me. I do, so much more than you will ever know... sigh.
xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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"I don't want to live so close... because of the drugs. He agrees, but still wants to. Honestly I think I am not going to live there... to fucking much temptation (quoted from your diary)"- there is so much I wish you were here so that I coud tell you. Let me just say that I understand completely... More than you will ever know until I talk to you. And you don't hurt anyone. You are so precious. I miss you dearly. Please take better care of yourself. I am so worried about you. I love you sweetie. xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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It was so good to hear from you Jori. Your voice sounds different, older somehow. Are you coming down to Cali anytime soon? I hope so. I am moving down to LA in a month and I really want to see you. Please take care of yourself. xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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I'm so sorry Jori :'( You have to go through the worst of times. I wish I was there to give you a hug. I hope you are doing ok. I tried to call you a few days ago... xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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I know... I am so sorry. I will never do it again. It was one of the most humiliating, painful experiences of my life. Love you sweetheart. xoxo Gwen
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fatalbreath : |
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I miss everyone. I miss talking to everyone, and actually getting somewhere with my weight loss. Instead I'm back to my old weight and I'm twice as sad. I hate it. I miss the past.
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dimstar : |
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Jori, my dear, take care of yourself ok? I worry about you terribly. I was thinking of you last night. I had an awful nightmare and ended up staying up the rest of the night. The weather is just like it was when you lived with me; cool and crisp during the night, yet hot and bright during the day. I was thinking about our 4:00am burritos as I ate my 1/2 bag of 4:00am low sugar Skittles! Well, I guess I will get a good start on the day. I studied for psych. Good luck with your job interview. I would have had a three hour per day job at the cleaners if it wasn't for class at that time. Ah well. Take care sweetie. xoxo Gwennie
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dimstar : |
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I love you Jorie. Hang on through all of this okay? I was so glad to talk to you today. I miss you so much. I hope to see you soon, at least with a year. xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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Hi Sweetheart. I am sorry to hear about baby CJ. He is in heaven though, you know that. I miss you terribly. You seem so sad to me. You are strong Jori. You need your strength to go on. Never give up.
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dimstar : |
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Jori, sweetie, I am very worried about you. I love you so much and I haven't heard from you. Honestly, I meant flying you down here. I can give you the visa number to make a flight if you want. And a slip is not a fall. I will always believe in you. Remember, you were the one friend who didn't desert me at my worst, on my deathbed when everyone else gave up, you stuck by me, and I will always be here for you, no matter what. I mean that. I owe you so much more than I think you will ever grasp. Please take care my sweets. xoxo Gwen
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crazybeauty1 : |
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hi, my name is shaunta im also bulimic i've been looking for a person to relate to and i was reading this girl's diary and she had this thing on it that said like diabetics with eating disorders and im not diabetic but i do have a problem - it's just nice to see someone going through sort of the same things - so if you don't mind i would like to add you as a buddy
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dimstar : |
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Just worry about taking care of yourself right now. You are the most important person in your life. I love you sweetheart. Take care. xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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God Jori, I feel like so much of this is my fault... I wish that I was there with you, that you had never moved away. I want so much better for you and I hate that you are going through this. Stay strong. I am always here for you, and I am always watching out for you. Never forget that. Gwen
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tfrunner262 : |
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It makes me so sad to read what you write because I am going through the exact same thing right now... All a person has to do is smile and people forget your problems, for a while. Please don't lose hope... I cannot save myself anymore and I am going to have to get help soon, maybe you can consider that too?
take care, luvs, ~Kris~
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tfrunner262 : |
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I hope you can feel better soon, reading your writing makes me realize once again that I am not alone in going through this... what you write is ever so true. I'm sorry that you have to go through this, sometimes I really wish I were the only one who had to wake up like this everyday. Please stay strong and don't give up on recovery... even if I'm hipocritical to write that. Luvs, ~Kris~
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fatalbreath : |
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I'm so glad things seem to be getting better for you! I want you to be happy and not have to live with all of this. I wish I could go with you, but I'm "in between" right now. Three hearts for Jori <3 <3 <3
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fatalbreath : |
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I want Jori back <3
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dimstar : |
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I miss you sweetie. I am sorry I couldn't talk to you that night. Please call me... I love you. xoxo Gwen.
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fatalbreath : |
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*hugz* <3 <3 <3 Three hearts for Jori from Aly.
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noneyouknow : |
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I have said the same thing many times about feeling like I missed some kind of instruction on how to live my life. Maybe if I had one I wouldn't feel like I am always failing at it.
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not-to-be : |
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thanks, hope you add me
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fatalbreath : |
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I added you.
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fatalbreath : |
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I've been considering it more lately but I've tried a lot. I'd like to add you to msn but if I forget, add me please. Thanks.
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fatalbreath : |
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I find your diary truly inspiring.
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fatalbreath : |
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Thanks... it's nice to know that you care... it's so great knowing people here really care, unlike at home eh... you're sweet. Thanks.<3
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dimstar : |
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I am doing fine. A slip isn't a fall... I will talk to you tomorrow. I want to know why you are so sad :( I won't die on you. I had a very good endocrine appt. today. I will call you tom. Love ya, Gwen
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dimstar : |
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I love you Jori. Come back to California. I miss you so much, you have no idea. I think about you all the time. Things were so much better for both of us when you were here. You are cutting, purging, and smoking? I have been thinking about going and lying in a gutter somewhere where it rains and just slowly dying. Ahh, the morbidity of it all. My brother wants me dead. He told me to get a job. Even if it kills me. I wish you were here. I love you sweetie. Take care. Light a candle for us ;) xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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I miss you Jori. I am probably going to UCLA very soon. We have your presents, it is just a deal of getting to the post office. How are your kidneys doing? I am so worried about you... xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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Jori, what is the matter? Oh man I am so scared now! Widget is probably very sick. Right now he is at the pet hospital. The vet says it has to be biopsied. That she doesn't want to jump to conclusions...etc... but that it looks like cancer of the bone or gums. I have to wait five to seven days to find out! I can't wait that long. I hate it. Now there is something wrong with you too? O Sweetie. I am going to call you in a few hours... xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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Jori, I am so proud of you for quiting at Hooter's. That job was so below you. You deserve much better. (((hugs))) Please come back. Come back and live with me. It is so hard without you. I care about you so much. I just wrote you a letter. I probably have to go into treatment because I got really sick again, and my weight keeps dropping. I miss you and love you so much. xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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Ahhh? Is it philosophical? You are going to be exploring wisdom, and looking beyond answers generated by society? Then, my dear, I wish you luck, because philosophers have the worst time, live poorly, and are generally cast out by society. (AKA Socrates) I miss you so much! I am glad that you are devoting more of your time to studying, and you have NEVER been a failure. You are so much to me. I love you. xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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Are you okay? I am very worried about you :( Please be okay. xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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Call me Jori. I miss you so much. I am always here for you. xoxo Dim
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dimstar : |
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I miss you so much. I wish that you were here. We need to talk. Why was Christmas so bad? How is it there? I wish that you were here. I think of you all the time. Right now I have a terrible cold that my uncle gave me. My aunt's house was so much better. You would like her. There isn't any fighting there. They let petty things go. Call me. Is the number you gave me your cell? It is so boring without you :( xoxo Gwen
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dimstar : |
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I love you my dear Jori. Stay strong. Things can only get better from here on out. xoxo Gwennie
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dimstar : |
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I am so sorry that I missed your calls. My mom wants you to move in with us as much as I do. I am leaving either monday or wednesday next week. Give me your number ok? I love you so much. Please, tell me, do I know this Christina? Want to hear something strange? I actually had a dream about a Christina that I haven't seen since fifth grade last night. Hmmm... Are you ok? Good job on work. You are awesome. The only people who have it easy here is the nightshift at Del Taco. xoxo Gwennie
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dimstar : |
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Omigosh, for once I am speechless. My heart jumped in my throat. Very close to home, so well written, haunting... Call me!
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dimstar : |
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Jordan!! What is up with you? Who asked you to leave school? I am so sorry hun. Please, don't do anything irrational k? I am here for you and always have been. I am really worried about you. Don't say you want cancer. That is terrible! xoxo Dim
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dimstar : |
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Hey Girlie, so who was it that this happened to at school? Doesn't sound fun at all. I'm sorry. You will be able to get through this. Moving out is hard, but look at all the things you have been looking forward to! I am here for you. Take care. xoxo Dim
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