messages to againsthesky:
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from chilindrina :
hi :) I just wanted to know how's everything... how are you, how did you do on your tests, what's been going on in your life. I love you, take care. *hugs*
from chilindrina :
*hugs* :)
from chilindrina :
I hope everything is ok...
from chilindrina :
hey love... what happened?
from thebetween :
may i read?
from fallenorra :
The best way to study for a midterm is to gernally go over your notes after each class just incase there was anything you didn't write down while it is fresh in your mind. Then go over the information gradually. That way it's in your brain better and you can recall it easily. That's basically how one is suppose to study for tests, but if anyone is like me I wait till the night before to look over everything. You're brain can hold a lot of information at a time, but we just get too lazy. I wish I could give you more hints, but I've never taken drama so I don't know any tips other than looking over your notes each night or after each class. Good luck.
from chilindrina :
hey... I can't seem to find the password (it's always already there because I saved it, but I don't know what it is because all I see is little dots) and I can't enter the page!! Would you mind sending it again? Sorry!!!!
from chilindrina :
oh no are you kidding me I have a dentist appointment tomorrow too. I hate that. heh.
from chilindrina :
hey...beautiful lyrics indeed. I enjoyed our convesation. See you around sweetie. E>
from chilindrina :
*hugs*
from chilindrina :
hey darling... =) thanks for the e-mail, and the note. Glad you gave me your password. Your guestbook isn't working for me. (just letting you know in case something's wrong) *hugs*
from fallenorra :
just wanted to wish you a merry christmas hun and that I fianlly sent that package to you. Love, Fallen
from herdarlinsin :
Thank you for adding me to your profile. I swear I know you already. But from what other previous journal (?)
from ecappaccino :
"Why should I write of my life, of the small spider's dead crumpled body, the snow I didn't touch, the chills in every crack and cranny, the sounds of expelled hairballs, and of missing things I'm not sure I really had to begin with." <--Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
from gumphood :
If you could make one of your problems disapprear, which one would you want to go first and why?
from gumphood :
thank you for adding me. Thats pretty awesome.
from eventhewind :
when I have real time, I'll respond to the completely amazing message you left me at livejournal. in the meantime, I've been reading some of your earlier entries here, and I'm absolutely stunned. you've been working so hard and have made so much change! I'm so happy to read about it, and I think once I catch up a little (and get back from this crazy trip of mine) we definitely need to catch up. take care, e. :>
from fallenorra :
Well the only thing I did wrong was simple mistakes. I get the concepts and know the rules, but sometimes I do things like forget that it's a nevative number or something simple like that. I blame it on not learning the basic math skills when I was younger. I had teachers that only knew certain things and what they did know they couldn't go outside of that to help a struggling student. That's where I have the problem. *hugs*
from fallenorra :
I figured out why your links don't work. I have had the same problem. If you type your entries in word the "qoutes" marks are different than what d-land's are and since it doesn't reconize it they throw your diary's link infront of the link you were posting. To fix it you just need to highligh the quote and high the button again and you should notice that there is a difference. The one in word when you paste it into the text box will look italic. While the one you type in the text box directly won't look like that at all. I hope I explain it right. I just only realize the difference and the effect changing it has. I hope all is well with you. Kimme
from fallenorra :
I don't know what else to say other than give you lots of *hugs*
from fallenorra :
*hugs* hun. I'm sure you'll find out what amigo means. Sometimes it's just hard to have them.
from fallenorra :
Aww congrats hun. I told you things would work out. Its' good that you found some people at the college nice enough to help. *hugs*
from dorksandwich :
thank you, very very much.
from fallenorra :
*hugs* I think it's great you made it to the college. I do hope it works out for you hun. Reguardless of what the lady at the community college says. A lot of times people are too willing to tell you all the bad things in college and never anything good.
from fallenorra :
*Big Hugs* hun. I wish I could help you out in someway, but I can't. All I can give you is internet hugs and hope that things turn out.
from fallenorra :
aww your kitty is so cute. Shadow is a good name for it.
from fallenorra :
that is too funny that we have the same storm. I wish I could take pictures too, but my digital camera lost's it card plus nightvison doesn't work right on it. Yeah I think Josh has been a little more harsh to you about things than Charly has. Of course he just started and maybe he can get worse, but I really won't let him. I've had enough guys do things like this. If they can't offer me the support when I am in my self hating mood then what good are they. *hugs*
from maliger :
You are living the life I wish I was living, one that is a little clearer, a little more organized, and closer to the bay, but I relate so well to your last post. If you want, check out my arts site and give me tips, I've got a ways to go in html. www.rainflowers.org
from fallenorra :
Thank you for the note and luck. I think I did pretty well on my test. I'm proud of myself too. I haven't had any issues with my stress taking over and having to quit or anything. First summer since 2003. So that is always good. Yeah I'm thinking that the online personals is not a good way to go. I only had luck with it once. I'm glad to hear that the PHD is working hard to help you out and do what is needed so you can do the things that you want to, but have been held back. *hugs* ~*~Fallen~*~
from fallenorra :
*hugs* hun. I like the new layout
from fallenorra :
*hugs* hun. Sorry I haven't been around much. I've been keeping up with your entries just haven't had much chance to drop you a line.
from panickygal :
Happy Birthday. I would sing the Happy Birthday song, but since I would have to type it out I would feel really sily. But still, Happy Birthday!
from fallenorra :
*hugs* hun. I know the feeling that when things are good that it will go bad shortly. I don't think it will happen for a while for you, but it's best to take in the good feeling while it last. Feel free to contact me if you need to talk and no one is on. I spend just about all day on-line. ~*~Fallen~*~
from fallenorra :
Hey hun I felt simular on the adivse thing with my privious ex. I never asked him questions or really did much to help him. I felt like it was part of why he broke up with me. I didn't seem to care. It's not that i didn't, but that I just didn't feel that I could offer anything. I'm sure that's how you feel when you don't give anyone advise. You can at least maybe say I don't know how to help, but I hope you find what you need or something that you feel is needed to do. Sometimes it's when we break the invisible barricade then we can contiune to do the new thing with ease. I know you feel like you have no room to speak on something you don't know about, but you're human just like the rest of us and you can imagine or think of what you'd do in those situation the other person is dealing with and tell them what you think you'd do, but that they aren't you and might do it differently. You are giving them some advise and trying to help. I'm just trying to give you some things to try. I'm not sure if you're tried them before or not. I don't think you've really been in the position where people have come to you for help or wanted to know your opinion on things. It's a little freaky when it happens, but once you get through and see that it's not too bad and that you do have something to offter. Hope your day goes well. *hugs* ~*~Fallen~*~
from fallenorra :
It sounds like the PHD is really going to help you hun. That's really good. You need and deserve it. *hugs* ~*~Fallen~*~
from panickygal :
Hey! It's so exciting! - and I'm not just talking about our apparent shared love of jelly beans. I'm so happy you're starting the ball rolling with school and classes. I wish I could help in some way, but being so far away I'm not sure that's possible. But if there's ever anything just let me know. I know you can do it. Dee
from fallenorra :
I was thinking of what you can do since you seem to get screwed over because you are disabled. I'm sure it would cost some money, but there are disabilitiy lawyers who do deal with cases simular to yours. I'm not sure if the law has anything that has to deal with what you have, but I'm sure there's someone that could help you get the aid that you need. I don't know if you've thought of this or not. *hugs* ~*~Fallen~*~
from fallenorra :
I may just be looking into things too much. I tend to think that there are signs telling us things all the time. Especially with dreams. I'm not too sure about halouciation, but I would assume that it would. You have mention spiders a lot and you are looking at it as a bad thing. Actually it's not a bad thing. I found this from dream-dictory.org. Might be something to help. Spiders - All spiders except tarantulas are omens of good luck. If you see a spider climbing the wall you will have your dearest wish come true and if you see a spider spinning a web you will have an increase in your income due to hard work. A large spider sitting on a telephone shows you will have a phone call that will benefit you greatly. The larger the spider, the bigger the rewards. ~*~Fallen~*~
from fallenorra :
Thanks hun. You picked the one that I wrote with a lot of personal emotion compared to the others ones. Also one's that I have started and go lots of feedback from others. I hope you find out that that doctor does take youre insureance. It sounds like he can help you out a lot. You deserve to see someone who will help you and not cause more pain for you. *hugs* Fallen
from fallenorra :
Aww thanks for helping me out. I forgot about that one. There are a lot of them on there. I need to do something in case I don't get the scholarship for my school. Half the scholarships that I keep finding aren't for me. Either they are for minorities which I am not one or a career or major I'm not pursuing. Poetry ones are the only ones I seem to get able to do since they don't have a lot of requirments. Thanks again ~*~Fallen~*~
from fallenorra :
Thanks for the note hun. Don't worry about complaining about the weather. I'm not too sure of the weather where you are, but I'm sure it's cooler than here. It's been in the 80s-90s the last few weeks. It's going to get hotter and I am not looking forward to that. I'm just glad that I was able to figure out a plan so soon. I think I normally would of cried more, but when I'm around other people even if it's just walking by I hide my tears. Pretend I'm tired or have allergies. Thanks again hun. *hugs* Fallen
from fallenorra :
I'm just going to keep sending you notes. I think you can have friends who are "cyber people". I have issues with making friends and some of the people I have meet on-line have been so much nicer to me that others. Yeah some people can lie and not be themselves, but there are those people who are exteremely nice and are real to you. To suggest that anyone you meet on-line isn't valid is limiting yourself and the people you meet. This was thought when the net first come out, but now a days everyone is on-line and meet people that way. So as long as you are careful and don't let yourself get hurt then there is nothing wrong with confiding with people on the net. Some people I knew in life I have more of a relationship with on-line because of distance. So I can understand why you'd want friend from the net. The world is a big place and we all need company to help us out. *hugs* Fallen
from fallenorra :
I know that a lot of stress disorders or self-harm things are looked at in a negitive light. Especially to people who don't do them. They see it as something that can easily be stopped when it's hard to. I can remember when I was very ill and the doctors and nurses thought I was pregant. They would ask me a million times are you sure you're not pregant. I would tell them unless I can be like the Virgin Mary and get pregant without sex then it's possible, but if not then I'm not. A virgin can't have a baby. They probably thought that a 19 year old living in the college dorms was having sex weekly and so on. It's a pain. I know they thought I was probably lying because my mom was with me and honestly I wouldn't tell them I was sexually active if she was there to save herself from a heart attack. I can't believe the doctor is testing you for HIV. That sounds like something she pulled out of her butt or something. Like if they can't find anything wrong with you then you're really not sick and it's all in your head. Sometimes that's possible, but not always. I can't believe how they treat you sometimes. I know it sounds odd for someone to be afraid to leave their house and so on, but anything is possible. I know from when I first started reading your old journal I didn't even realize that you were agrophobic. I think about the 3 update when you mentioned it. So sometimes we fear that people will find things out and judge and when in fact you haven't let them known at all and they don't even realize it until it's actually addressed.
from fallenorra :
Hey hun no problem. I know we all need a little encouragement especially when we are going to reveal something that we never would or be honest when we are afraid to. You know that you have people who are supportive of you hun who read this and are always glad to hear what's going on. I know it's hard to think that people are always going to be so accepting of what you have to say. I could say that you don't have to worry, but to you, you feel like you have to. So it's up to you when you are ready to be so honest. You have to take it in steps. Can't rush it hun. No problem for the not and thank you for the not.
from fallenorra :
Hun it is good to see you back. I can understand how you want your new journal to be the present and not the past. Sometimes all we need is a new diary name and new goals to help move us in a forward direction. I know it's hard to be completely honest in this because well you have people who are practally strangers reading it and you don't want to feel like you've let people know youre darkest secret and they can use it against you and so on. I use to keep things out of my diary because of certain people who had access to it and I just didn't want them to get a hold of it. Now that have over come that fear because I doubt they have better things to do than read my diary years after not talking to me and I started to not care. My diary is for me. Even if people read it, it's my way of letting out what's going on and emotions that are not good to keep in. It will take some time, but I think the direction you're heading is the right move. Much love to you. ~*~Fallen~*~

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