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Hey there! It's a shame we didn't arrive in NM until after you left -- it would have been good to see you. Congratulations on your acceptance to the program at Penn, and I'm thinking of you as you decide what you really want to do. Good luck and stay strong!

from nadnuk :

she said it all. I was lost in QM at ND, then got to a point where I thought I might understand it. then I went to Duke and realized that I didn't know it at all, it was actually my downfall there. And you are qualified, extremely qualified to be a teacher, and to succeed in anything you want to. At ND you were brilliant and dedicated in Band, and showed huge capabilities when it came to leadership. You could usually explain things to me in ways that I could grasp and that's what makes you wonderful at what you're doing now. It's not that you don't deserve it and that the people in your community appreciate something that isn't there, it's that your present community realizes it more than the ND community all of your skills and aptitude. I often feel the same way that I've percieved you to feel about quantum. And if we all judged our worth by how we feel we understand it, then a great many people would feel like ants, even the ones who profess to have it all unravelled.

from s-andromeda :

I am sure that I didn't deserve the B that I got in quantum mechanics. I didn't understand the math OR the concepts. I was so lost that I didn't even realize that the book and the professor used different notations until near the end of that semester (really). I do think that I deserved the degree I got, however, and I think it's very important for you to know you deserved your degree as well. In my eyes, your hard work and dedication made you more qualified for a physics degree than most of our graduating class. You also have the intuition and ability to understand physical systems without even doing the math, a rare gift that will be extremely valuable in any scientific field of work. So what if you have a hard time understanding really advanced and abstract math? Unless your dream is to become a professor of quantum mechanics notation, that shouldn't be a problem. You are an extremely talented, well-rounded, intelligent person who just happens to look at the world differently than the majority of physicists. In my opinion, that's an advantage, not a detriment.

from s-andromeda :

Maybe this site will work? http://photo.wenn.com/?ref=brad%20and%20girlfriends%202701. Unfortunately I don't think thesuperficial.com has a mirror site anywhere ...

from nadnuk :

sorry, had to lock my diary...T's girlfriend found out it existed, and my roomie advised me to lock it. username and password are 'guest'

from nadnuk :

you should send the valentine to bigi.

from s-andromeda :

true, so true.

from s-andromeda :

Yay! I'm glad you're doing so well up there! I would have killed to have someone like you teach me math and science when I was in the seventh grade.

from nadnuk :

oh, hey, I need your address as well...I'm a good letter-writer...still a rambling essence to it, but I'm good at keeping up my letters.

from annowre :

yay! congrats! :)

from jpoet112 :

And I said, "So that was college". So it goes. And I thought it would have been so much more, something mind-blowing, all encompassing and engrossing. But the world doesn't bowl me over like it used to. Either I've changed. Or the world just doesn't come bowling like I dreamed it would. Lexapro almost killed me once. Not really, but I felt more dead for two days that I'd ever felt before. I tried running that afternoon, and it felt like I was moving in slow motion. I kept stopping to walk. I almost passed out. I was bedridden. Not a fond memory. I'm afraid of the pills, and I'm afraid that maybe I should be taking some. Acupuncture and 10,000mg of vitamin c per day, and maybe they'll be some change. I think I'm fine for now. But the summer always fools me into thinking all is well. On sunny days, I can live forever. We'll see when autumn hits. Take care of you.

from annowre :

*hugs* win or lose, proud or ashamed, happy or unhappy, we made it...love ya

from nadnuk :

well, we all know that I thrive on details. So if you feel the need to tell all about the weekend, I won't complain, I must admit that I do that a lot.

from annowre :

I actually started on an oral contraceptive two months ago for my mood swings, too...I don't think they were as intense as yours, but they were still taking over...it actually has made a noticeable difference for me, so I hope it works out for you, too :)

from annowre :

*hug* you're awesome - if you ever need someone to make sure you remember this, I'm around :) and if you really miss working that much, you wanna do some of mine? ;)

from allizonia :

I know the feeling about when you've finished all the work you need to do and are a bit displaced by it. Nice diary by the way.

from s-andromeda :

hear, hear! (or is it here, here? Oh well. I think you get my meaning)

from bitch-haven :

Feelin Bitchy lately??? Then come to Bitch-Haven and tell us all about it!!!

from s-andromeda :

beautiful!

from s-andromeda :

i feel for you... wanna get coffee sometime? preferably off-campus?

from jpoet112 :

consciousness breeds the knowledge of some lack. or so it feels to me. most people, in general, are unconscious. just plodding through the world with no thought, no desire for something deeper. and there are the rich ones preoccupied with amassing expensive things. and the poor ones concerned only with paying rent. and then a handful from all walks of life who want something deeper, seek something more, feel something too intense. the seekers. the quest makers. so i am. so you may be. so Henderson, the rain king. but Billy Pilgrim wasn't, and he was lucky for it. he just accepted, went soft numb, and just took the world as it came or went, and either way, he was fine. i'm torn between the want of something more, deeper, greater and the want of the ability to simply accept things and deal. the jury is still out. i had similar thoughts about college. and yes, some are different than others. but mostly its just the way college is in general. and its just the way you are (it was the way i was too). and you'll forgive what i say next, because it may sound coarse or vulgar, but it is something - an image i remember - that sparked the thought . . wasn't it so much simpler five years ago, laying in the grass at susquehannah when you were cumming in your jeans. i'd give you advice, but i'm a fool. so here's hoping.

from nadnuk :

ok, I've decided that I'm going to screw this whole waiting for off-peak times to update my diary and am writing my entries in my notes page...I never get a busy signal there, oh, and let me know if you'll be around ND on the 28th/29th, I think that I'm going to try to spend my birthday over there.

from belleschoses :

hey: if you need anyone to talk about that whole displacement feeling more with, feel free to come to me: i know exactly what you're talking about... ha, lost a boyfriend over it (partially)... eesh...

from s-andromeda :

Just wanted to drop a note to say "hi," and may the weak nuclear force be with you!! :-)

from belleschoses :

hey! of COURSE you can read :) I don't announce my journal cuz i don't want EVERYONE to know about it, but you are definitely welcome to follow it :) I haven't had much time to update it very often this semester, but as soon as summer starts, it will be in constant use... oh, and belleschoses is just my name so that i can leave comments for you diaryland folk ;) And I totally miss you too: i had no one to wander over to the zahm carnival with! and i haven't eaten at North since January! i've even begun to put tuna fish on my salad! ;) Ah, i wish i could write more, but i have a paper due in 4 hours that i've barely started on :-P yick... so when do you come HOME?? talk to you soon! ~Kelly~

from lapaseton :

blah go me. literary = literature. I'm not that stupid, really.

from lapaseton :

I like the music you like and the literary you read. Tori Amos, Neil Gaiman, Kurt Vonnegut... Mmhm. Self-injury, yeah, we share that thing too. Just thought to say hi.

from s-andromeda :

W.B. Yeats' "The Two Trees" was my favorite poem in high school -- Loreena McKennitt puts it beautifully to music in her album "The Mask and Mirror." I miss you and hope the end of the semester is treating you well! :-)

from s-andromeda :

Oh arvianna, you're going to love this: www.organisedchaos.org It's fractal electronica!

from nadnuk :

people don't hate you, but I think that the great majority of people are wary of what they don't understand, and your personality is simply complex enough to reach beyond most people's idea of common. Enjoy your time travelling, I'll pop by London at some point in time...not quite sure when yet, though.

from s-andromeda :

Hope the trip to Italy was fun! Don't worry about replying to my emails; I understand you must be busy, and it's more important to have fun anyway. In going along with my strange and sudden habit of ascribing animals to people, I think you're probably a panther, or at least a black short-haired domestic cat.

from tinawolff :

hey, thanks for the note! mind if i read your diary, too? purple-haired people rock the house, yo.

from erwirish :

I want to see a pic of your hair!! yay purple! such a good color :)

from s-andromeda :

Just wanted to let you know I love your diary! Happy Thanksgiving!

from erwirish :

I looked for you on the field all last year!! I even found you a couple times! :)

from red-house :

hi...read your latest entry n i have to say that i agree totally with your views on those three words!

from cfleischer :

yeah, i love the smashing pumpkins too, well looks like your on the top #1 today, huh? see ya!~Cristina

from dazedout :

you are a very opionated person.... dont change

from kiten :

Don't worry. It'll get better... if it doesn't then all I have to say is that don't go to a psychologist because they mostly make it worst. Believe me, I know. Those damned people. Anyway where was I? Oh yea, look everyone has those types of days... so don't sweat it, OK????

from silverbiker :

aww I care. I hope you have a better week!

from xwhickhedx :

i know sounds stupid and dumm, but im new in this diaryland, and i dont know how to make my diary looks like yours:( can you help me? [email protected]

from aidan-cage :

well...I was bored at work, so I decided to look for diaryland members who shared my taste in films. You came up under "Pi," so I'm leaving you a note telling you that I read some of your diary, and enjoyed in my time of need. Thank you. PEACE - Tristan (aidan-cage.diaryland.com)

from deanybeany :

One hundred people having snowball fights, after midnight!..wow!. Doubt we will even get a drop of snow here this year. I want snow now!...not fair *g*

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