messages to axde:
(click here to add new message):

from erases :
two years later from my last note, and again, the feeling is the same.
from darthuae :
<3 you made my morning.
from misfitstray :
Nice to see you back here! ‚ô• I hope all is well with you?
from erases :
It's late in the evening on October 3rd, 2014, and I miss the hell out of you. If you ever see this, send word that you're okay.
from erases :
hope everything is okay in your corner of the world there, south. good lookin' pup you got there. fare thee well.
from darthuae :
i am so sorry for your loss. you're a treasure, love.
from foreveragain :
there you are!!! i have to admit, i got quite frantic when i couldn't find you and i was convinced for sure all of those twisters ALL hit yr house dirrectly and i panicked. i ended up finding yr twitter or something a few weeks later, and i knew you were ok. i'm sorry to hear about yr loss. i truly am.... at the other end of the spectrum, congratulations on yr blossoming love! if you ever decide to go away for any length of time again, moonsocket@graffiti.net please stay in touch. xx
from boombasticat :
Well, now. That one got me.
from in-alaska :
i love you.
from defaults :
you beautiful, beautiful thing. god bless and rest your soul. you've been missed.
from avantbedroc :
i missed you thats why i came to note you but reading the notes below... im now freaking out!! YOU BE OK PLZ???!!!!
from foreveragain :
steffie i'm worried about you. i've been trying to get a hold of you since i heard about the twisters that were way too close to you. i hope yr ok. i don't know how else to find you....♥
from darthuae :
i do too cuz you're my favourite on d*land. still miss you!
from bridgecity :
i frequently wonder where you are.
from darthuae :
love you. miss you.
from defaults :
ms benton, i hope that your birthday, christmas and the new year so far have been exceptionally good to you. you are missed around these parts, lady.
from frankie123 :
yes
from boyecho :
i can't stop listening to them. even right now...
from foreveragain :
you are the sweetest fucking thing. xoxoxo
from darthuae :
i think you already have me forever through your words.
from boombasticat :
Vroom vroom. So much warmth in that one.
from boombasticat :
Thank you for the nice note, Southern friend (I think you live in the South?). In any event, for what it's worth, I'm an avid reader of yours.
from erases :
there's always halo. and damn - it is good.
from foreveragain :
come, find me, and away we will fly. [xxo]
from secret-motel :
Sometimes it's better if I'm not even here. The wine and weird sleep patterns will write these entries for me.
from insertsmilex :
um hi. relating to you in so many ways. be strong, love. the only thing you can be is okay, even when your not..
from axde :
2 messages back -- that is pristine. haha!!
from misfitstray :
do you really think that you have any control over yourself/life? I'm very sorry for your father. I really hope that there's not much suffering involved. My Mom died of cancer. My sister was diagnosed with cancer 4 weeks ago. Cancer sucks!
from riverun :
I know this makes me an insensitive sonofabitch (guilty as charged) but before I go from here (i.e. don't bother formulating a reply) I just wanted to say -- every time I see your user name, I regret having bought you this gold membership. I thought you were an awesome writer, but you're actually just a stoner. And a hypocritical ass. Call it like it is. Peace. http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l164/slateloose/dland/metoyou2.jpg
from ping-island :
i didn't even know that could happen. o.o are you okay?
from avantbedroc :
love & strength xx
from warpednormal :
i don't know what to say, i'm so sorry.
from darthuae :
:( hang in there, love.
from moonsocket :
oh steffie........[hugs]......
from defaults :
i'm so sorry, stephanie.
from in-alaska :
i'm feeling for you.
from ping-island :
haha yep, i'm getting that from everyone. my therapist is freaking out about it too, saying i wasted 4 years of my life and it'll be "better for me" if i graduate. but the way i see it, i still learned a lot in high school - about school, and myself, and other stuff - so it's not like i've been sitting around twiddling my thumbs for 4 years. also, my mom wants me to take the ged test on the day of or the day before my graduation so she can still have a party and tell everyone i graduated. if i ever come out to her she'll probably make me have a fake het wedding.
from moonsocket :
"HA!" [me too.] xxo
from moonsocket :
check the myspace....i'm reaching out, before i even knew. don't fret. xo
from erases :
when i think of you all i hear are locusts
from boombasticat :
Your thought about innards and other people knowing them reminds me of the book Everything Is Illuminated. At one point, he describes those innards as being something like an unbreakable glass bottle and inside that bottle is all our most basic, secret, unknowable stuff. Anyway, I think I agree with you about the innards. Good thoughts your way.
from defaults :
i don't think that there's anything special in what i'm feeling, or all that unusual. i'm having difficulty getting doctors to listen to me or to pay much attention, which isn't all that unusual. there's something funny about how i've been treated so far. i've been denied any sort of diagnosis because i'm "imagining it". i never could have dreamed that i'd be stuck in a hole like this. i have faith that i'll find a way to get better, eventually.
from misfitstray :
you shouldn't call that person a friend, you are caring for now. A real friend wouldn't act like that. Too bad, taht you live so very far away *sigh* I'd cook dinner for you or invite you for breakfast to my home of whatever else. I'd love to do that and to talk with you about God and the world. Please take better care of yourself and good luck on the job. You'll get it and it's going to be hard work...
from misfitstray :
I'm really ok, you shouldn't worry about me. So, you don't want a care-package? :( I'd love to send you something. How about the job? Did you get it?
from riverun :
let's stop communicating. i won't read what you write, you don't read what i write. i am not alright or all right or anything of that nature -- it is not "the same" -- and i don't owe anyone "respect" -- not here, not anywhere -- you had to know this was coming -- i am highly irritable and in a bad way these days -- leave me alone for god's sake -- be half decent and leave me alone -- let me write my nasty snotty dull shit and just don't read it -- don't read it -- let it be! let me be!
from riverun :
and remember -- you wrote this, you two-faced little bastard -- "you owe me nothing at all. i'm grateful for your honesty. at least you can be. at least you have the nerve to be. i dont claim to be any kind of writer. i just do it cause it feels right. at least i mean what i say. i just like to remember things, thats all. thats why im here. and you have your reasons, too. i beg you to be a critic of me. it's a shame that you have to even worry about offending others. honesty, above all, is what i need. so thank you."
from riverun :
"the thing is, you know, it's not attractive to watch you [...]" -- if this was written to me you lousy little sonofabitch -- then don't come to my damn journal. motherfucker -- not making any sense & so having some difficulty with this but listen, listen, listen (and YOU, incidentally, you know who you are -- stop stealing my fucking WORDS) ... anyway back to you -- as i said it's a fucking waste to say ... get away from my writing ... you nauseate me with even the idea -- it is all a fucking waste and you ... why do i go back once a fucking week to see anything like this ... i've said we're free and we're free and i'm free as hell to say i hate it all -- you lousy rotten shallow sonofabitch i too say what i please DO YOU THINK I CARE WHAT YOU THINK? -- and don't be such a fucking ignorant twat -- as if authors aren't also "authentic" or real persons somehow, as if you are MORE than they were or are -- you are THE SAME -- as if I WANT TO BE ATTRACTIVE TO YOU -- WHAT -- WOULD MAKE YOU THINK THAT? -- in reality I WANT YOU GONE, GONE, GONE -- to leave the place where i write for GOOD -- get away you snot you fucking snot don't read me! leave me to my fucking miserable writing then! you ass! -- i've had enough of your damn shit! i was kind once, don't expect anything better from me you're a fucking snot -- nothing, nothing is worth it -- and listen to me you ignorant shallow anti-intellectual LITTLE SHIT -- if you can't even spell nabokov's name THEN DON'T FUCKING USE IT -- I WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU -- ALL OF YOU -- IF THAT MAKES ME FEEL LESS SHITTY THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I'LL DO AND FUCK IF I CARE THAT YOU DON'T LIKE IT -- DON'T READ IT -- I LOVE IT AND I AM A SELFISH, CONCEITED, CRUEL SONOFABITCH -- (incidentally this so-called "silly criticism" doesn't REACH anyone because i criticize a vague and general lot -- "we" -- who is we ... you are no one -- not some voice for many people -- you are you -- nothing -- to me -- nothing -- "we" -- such senseless bullshit -- stop -- reading -- my journal. just leave me the hell alone you fucking snot. leave me, leave me, leave me.)
from defaults :
amen.
from misfitstray :
I'll keep my fingers crossed, that you'll get the job
from misfitstray :
give me your adress, I'll send you a care-package :)
from boombasticat :
Kaboom. Me, I have a hard time with shopping malls. It's tough to play the part of the consumer. You've really do have to actively fight in order to not become part of the other side. So here's to the good fight.
from defaults :
i think you spoke to me in my sleep. i dreamed that you were writing to me. thank god for you, miss. thank god.
from avantbedroc :
will season trade you for sure. today was driving and when wind blew in from the window thru my hair i could feel the sweat on my skull...uuuuggghghhhck!
from boombasticat :
Here's to keeping those vivid colors. And to looking crazy sometimes, too.
from aperfectmap :
thank you. it was a statement that was nebulous enough to mean many things
from sherpahigh :
It's been awhile, my friend... I'm sorry for that. It's surely not lack of love for who you are or the things you write.
from defaults :
you have more strength than most can even begin to fathom. i read that and went to the bathroom afterwards and threw up. i have more than a lot of respect for you.
from defaults :
and what a much better place the world is because of it. enjoy your birthday, stephanie, and everything that the coming year will bring.
from erases :
happy birthday little stephanie!
from warpednormal :
oh my dear. is it your birthday? i, too, breathed for the first time on this day. except..a year after you. omg HAPPY BIRTHDAY
from boombasticat :
Possibly, the only way to rectify the situation is to exchange mixes. Or I could try to email you the song. Let me know if you're interested. The way he says "fuck all y'all" makes me laugh. I am, just now, saying it in my head the way he says it and it's making me smile.
from boombasticat :
I'd like to recommend a song: "The Well" by this guy called Smog. It's a story-song, and it took me a few listens, but when he's talking about what he's yelling into the well, it made me think of you and your soaring. I hope you're good.
from darthuae :
oh and one more thing: don't you ever settle for less than what your head wants/ humans are capable of delivering, just let them have a go at it, and if they don't give you what you want, just find others until the world runs out. (sorry about the word count).
from darthuae :
don't worry about anyone reading your note, perhaps anyone reading my response will be weirder but no matter, no matter, i cannot and will not let these things be oppressed (just because they're in front of everyone's eyes) and, dear girl, this is what i think; after all those novelists and poets, after all those perfect sentences and stanzas, is it fair, tell me, is it fair that we get to leave those dirty pages and return to the world only to be pressured back home with our heads down in disappointment? i haven't met anyone who has crossed that bridge in front of my engaged mind - my, isn't it horrible how no one has? isn't it horrible to think that no one will (although i remain hopeful)? i mean, who knows, maybe i am just the disappointment i feel when it comes to the people i know. maybe they wish more of me, i don't know, no one has ever spoken in all the universe's honesty with me (the only way i know how to talk at times); all they do is pretend that the world's all right and go away, oh love, how they go away -- and you know it's fine if they do, i just wish that i'm left with something better than silence sometimes; a conversation about everything they feel/see would simply ease my troubled mind. i hate to think that books have ruined my acceptance towards the living -- just increased my expectations, that's all. i've never been satisfied since i held that first dusty paperback in my fragile young hands. i was going to write an entry about that but i coiled back in depression and decided not to leave my bed instead. it's just lovely, the way you asked, because it's never far from my mind, people can be so beautiful if they wish it... but can i ask them to be more just because they can? i only know that i find solace in some of the diaries on here, especially yours, yeah, especially yours.
from sorrowshadow :
i know what you mean. i am like that too, never knowing what exactly i want. wish there are guides to it =[
from warpednormal :
haha. i wish. i wish it felt like a serenade, but it usually comes as really loud orchestrated classical music. not sure what to think of it. i've been researching the condition and i'm afraid i'm going deaf! or old. or i might have a brain tumor =( i don't know anymore, too busy to think!
from defaults :
you always know just the right thing to say at the time when it's needed most. what a gift you have.
from darthuae :
oh dear, i hate to spam your notes, but i can't help it, i have so much i need to know from you.
from misfitstray :
I'd jump on in an instant
from darthuae :
man, you are beautiful beautiful beautiful. i keep waking up to someone else's mind wrapped around my thinking-lines too. most times, i feel like i have 1000 decisions about this certain thing and then there are times when i have none that i can speak out. you're just the most amazing person i have never known. and i don't know why you remind me so much of dear old janis joplin; she sings in that bluish melancholic way that most times makes you want to put your head down and cry for hours, but there's always the promise of "being around" and "the sun shining through" at the end of her songs, which is what i find so beautiful in your soul, it really makes my day, man, even when i'm slipping from the end of my tether. thank you.
from darthuae :
your fourth question missed the question mark. but i think i know why your mind did this; you shouldn't control the words that roll out of your mouth, especially those kinda words, you should tell everyone everything you know and then give them a few years to process your beauty.
from moonsocket :
[je t'embrasse.]
from darthuae :
all the beautiful things in the world add up to just you.
from erases :
stay gold, ponygirl.
from boombasticat :
I like it when you rev up your engine like that.
from misfitstray :
not at all :)
from moonsocket :
the man is a genius! and i'm sure it would be mutual, if he knew you. x
from darthuae :
southern girl, i love you without even knowing you and i just don't get it. but i share your hopes and am determined to be a child forever. i threw my age at some ramblers who needed it and am now free to be taken by the wind.
from boombasticat :
Seems to me that you're a conduit for the magic that's floating around out there.
from darthuae :
i dreamt that i told you something i really wanted you to hear... but for the life of me, i can't remember what it was.
from misfitstray :
I'm ok, really. Don't worry. Wished you lived nearer. Wished that so so very much.
from moonsocket :
you give me that funny feeling in my tummy......[god, yr words. yr words yr words yr words.] xox
from misfitstray :
exposed - maybe ; forgiven - of course but not forgotten
from misfitstray :
Dear Miss, I love you so much and what you write. Everything is easier said than done... He left a big hole and an ever bigger disappointment. But what's most depressing, there's no hope. Only to write this, make me cry. I NEED to let go, but I am still not able. You tell me how.
from misfitstray :
That doesn't sound too good with your living together with A. I hope that you both will work out a solution together, otherwise I see you moving out soon. She doensn't seem to be a responsible and grown up person, as harsh as that sounds... I'm sorry. xxoo
from warpednormal :
hahaha. ahhh i was quite inebriated that night. which i find, is my common excuse. ohhh man. anyway, meant to mention it before but i love your diary. especially the entry from.. 2009-08-09, about feeling comfortable in your own indifference. or something. whatever. i just remember really relating to it and all. Payce!
from misfitstray :
I don't think that your feelings would change or would be different about that, if she would love him.
from misfitstray :
Come over and let us talk. I'll buy you some drinks. And as you quit smoking we could do that here in my new apartment ;)
from bi-pet :
hehe... a park that closes. that must be a world first!!
from boombasticat :
Was the cop messing with you?
from erases :
just chill, baby.
from moonsocket :
http://8tracks.com/theansweredform/southern-belle for you. ♥.
from darthuae :
i am inclined to think that there's more to love about you than to run away from, more to keep than to forget & this is just the written side of you that i know of. you've no idea how darling your words have become to me.
from misfitstray :
I really wished we would know each other in person and being friends too. You have such a lovely/loving soul! I LOVE reading your thoughts.
from defaults :
i haven't been ignoring the notes you've left me. i'm thinking too much these days. the little things you've said to me have left me thinking and thinking and in the end, i don't know which of my thoughts to tell you. thank you for being so kind. reading your thoughts has been precisely what i've needed.
from misfitstray :
hm, David isn't the "Cowboy", or? If someone fells in love with you doesn't mean you are responsible for that person. Don't take that as a burden but as a compliment.
from boombasticat :
I'm reading The Blue Star by Tony Earley and I have a hunch you'd like the character Chrissie.
from misfitstray :
you are rich, inside and outside
from boombasticat :
Bound to beauty indeed.
from weatethesea :
man! what a good entry.
from bunnymama :
Yeah. I'll try to do that tonight. Or tomorrow. The next few days are going to be nuts, so I'll do it asap. heh heh. You've got alot of catching up to do, my friend.
from in-alaska :
the place in that photograph looks as though it would be no stranger to magic. that tree was probably a person who was caught dancing where it was forbidden.
from xxholding-on :
hey i saw you were online and i really wanted the vote/review from diaryland members towards an art contest i joined. It's a coach marketing contest and i need as many votes as i can get! I'm already in 19th out of 2700, please help me out! http://www.brickfish.com/Pages/PhotosAlbums/PhotoView.aspx?picid=975395_34070543&pid=2767347&scid=452
from defaults :
i had the best dream last night. you taught me to run down steep, grassy hills with complete abandon. i wasn't scared anymore.
from secret-motel :
Ha, great photo of our "meeting"! Do you still visit SL? I'm still there and trying to get myself banned--because I think there are healthier things I could do with my time. But I have a shitload of weapons now, way more impressive than the shotgun. There's a freebie place where you can arm yourself to the eyebrows. I really should get myself banned.
from mangotuesday :
where you are from. the light of it all. out in the world. and especially in you. i know of which top model you refer. i'm from portland. where ex bf from 'that one band' resides. the smallest and largest of worlds. gros bisous.
from misfitstray :
I don't think that hope is what dictates life, as it is always changing and not as manifested as fears. Fears are always there and always strong, especially subconcious fears. But maybe it's different for individuals.
from sorrowshadow :
i feel like that too. I want to everything about people. what they do, and why they do what they do. why does this excite them? why does that fell nothing to them? but seriously, did a judge really say that to you?
from misfitstray :
After knowing everything from someone you don't want to know anything about that person anymore. I think it's better to have some secrets left.
from darthuae :
i want to keep your gentle soul in a mason jar and talk to it during the night.
from mangotuesday :
where are you from, i wonder, sweet girl.
from in-alaska :
i feel thjat same way about truman capote novels. penetratingly deep. right?! i've missed you tellin g me what is right! mre often you should do so. i beg of you!
from boombasticat :
I have a hunch you and Annie Dillard are secret buddies. Have you read her memoir An American Childhood? It's an ordinary childhood told with serious verve and I think you may like it. Never Let Me Go is the saddest, most beautiful novel I've read in the last five years. How about you? What makes the hair on your arms stand up?
from boombasticat :
Well, gosh, that's awfully nice of you. Have you read Cannery Row? Check out the first few pages, the description of Cannery Row itself, the little part where he describes it as "a stink." That couple-paragraph description gets me going, every time. Happy afternoon to you.
from spires :
re your underwater scene with the boy named david: that sounds so perfect and sweet.
from boombasticat :
Straight-up beautiful, yo.
from darthuae :
"on the road cats, renaissance cats" / i could have never imagined anything more profound.
from darthuae :
i was thinking about you last night, how you remind of everyone i know - 'cause you're like steinbeck cosmically turning up with daisies and girl-dreams, and like hemingway with a hilltop view, travelling the world through the people you know and the stories they tell.
from darthuae :
is it too much to ask you to write forever?
from defaults :
aren't we all?
from spires :
again, thank you. :)
from misfitstray :
you found it? tell me, please.
from spires :
thanks, it had been a while since i'd actually put my head into my entries haha. i'm quite smitten with your prose also; you really know how to build a mood.
from misfitstray :
It's not that far away at the moment. Only 2 miles or so. After the move in August it'll be like 6 miles.
from misfitstray :
my bedroom is green too :) you should take better care of yourself!
from faucets :
God, you phrase a sentence like no other. Amazing.
from defaults :
ireland indeed. i often wonder why somebody'd put me on an isle so small when there are so many other places in this world that i could've been. i can't complain though. we have land and we have sea and we have the most beautiful little places if you just know where to look.
from boombasticat :
What a way to end. Looking over and she's crying. Gave me chills.
from defaults :
i remember the first time i read your diary, the background was that shade of colour that i can never decide to be blue or green. for some reason i always remembered one particular entry. you wrote it september sixth, two thousand and six - "what a feeling". you break my heart in the best way possible, every damn time. what a feeling.
from misfitstray :
I'll wait impatiently on that creation! In the meantime you/I could get a cheap flight to the US/Germany.
from misfitstray :
I'd love to train with you too. I think each one would be an adventure in itself with you. Too bad that distance is a problem and beaming not developed yet. 'sigh'
from erases :
everything comes together eventually.
from misfitstray :
You are right. Everybody is so beautiful! But some are more. You are.
from secret-motel :
I've inhabited this city too long. Your diary always reminds me that there's a quiet beauty way out there. Where the traffic ends and the moonlight begins. Moonlight that paves its own secret highway leading to abandoned places that come alive when just a handful of souls explore them in the dead drunken hours of night. I'm at the point in age where I'm not even sure how I would function if I suddenly found myself in such a place. With a disregard for the past and a newborn spontaneity, I hope.
from misfitstray :
why is your soul desperate?
from darthuae :
give in to the feeling and not be afraid.
from erases :
totally.
from in-alaska :
ohhh you. keep on keepin on.
from darthuae :
reading your diary makes my day a little more tolerable.
from xcjamesx :
thank you.
from boombasticat :
You just might get famous. I wouldn't bet against it. And if you do, it might be for the kinds of images you can make. Cowboys yearning on ranches, that sort of thing.
from xcjamesx :
now that i found out you're reading this i have to let you know - that this is a fictional diary - Campbell is a character in a novel written/being written by the actual author of the diary. i hope this doesn't keep you from reading his diary as i try to make him seem like a living person - i just don't want to be deceptive.
from solitaryblue :
they do exist... you just have to search by trial and error.
from bridgecity :
I wrote a sad county song about joseph smith a while back. I guess it was more about the mormon pioneers who didnt want to stop in utah and kept on going till they got to wyoming.
from darthuae :
i really think that some teachers barely warrant the title. i've always been needy to learn and they've always been reluctant to give me the education.
from boyecho :
yes yes. i love them dearly. greatest live musical experience of my life. and i own nearly every record [and bootlegs of the rest]. and thank you. i will be safe, but not too safe..
from defaults :
yes, dearest, it is me.
from misfitstray :
I think the words "World ending" is kind of not appropiate for the kind of thing. Maybe some kind of dark ages again or something like that. I think we shouldn't muse too much about future and just try to enjoy the Now as much as we can and make the best out of it. Live and love as "good humans". Whatever this might be. Different for everybody. But fighting against the "dark side" should be on everybodys schedule. We can change the future that's for sure.
from erases :
sometimes choosing a side is all you've got
from misfitstray :
I don't know the date either and I hope that it won't come but I sometimes have the feeling that it might be right seeing all the wars and illnesses coming forward in the world. There exists a vision by a native wise man. I call him "Grandfather". He was the teacher of the man whos name is Tom Brown Jr. He wrote several books and runs the Trackerschool (www.trackerschool.com) in NJ where I've been for a lot of classes. I've learned so much wonderful and useful things. I'm well thank you. And hope you are too!
from darthuae :
i think i know how craizee a person must be to take it all in - the sadness and the happiness, all at once, down their throats with the rest of the daily chemicals. it's amazing, being human, having continuous morning/night confusions. i think no matter what you try to do, no matter how you think you're not doing it justice (love, i mean), it surely cannot exist without you? i'm hopeless, though. i can't love for more than a day, i'm on the verge of bitterness in that area. but i'm well, if that's what matters. i love how your entries are always so strong, regardless of the number of words you type in. keep your head on, man.
from misfitstray :
it's going to end in 2014. Who told you the wrong year? 5 years are enough to have tons of fun but too less to love
from erases :
what do i do now, stephanie?
from in-alaska :
i have watched my friends get what feels like millions of tickets. police men are bitter men a lot of the time! i think the world of you and believe whole-heartedly that you will have a spring/summer adequate to your loveliness!
from misfitstray :
thank you! ...the nitpicker-entity in me always wanted to say that you spelled my d-land-name in your favourite-list wrong, but I was always annoyed by my nitpicking sense... now it won, I'm sorry
from spires :
i love the avett brothers! they must be one of those bands that sound exactly alike live and on album, right? i love it when that happens.
from in-alaska :
i made a big mistake! its not locked anymore. i had a bit of a scare! i must apologize.
from boyecho :
i can't think of a better song to get stuck on...
from darthuae :
'would there be stars involved?' was my first thought. i'm not sure if i've ever conveyed this in my diary but i tend to find myself on earth quite often and most times i sincerely don't know what to do about it. and what you did there was remind me of how HUMAN i am, of how hungry i am for conversation without actually knowing it. man, you make me think. and for what it's worth, i too envision a good time.
from darthuae :
ok, it's hard to imagine why you wouldn't be but you're my favourite storyteller.
from darthuae :
may you always love.
from misfitstray :
wise words
from boombasticat :
I think I'm going to pet-name something close to me The Strongest Sperm, or just Strong Sperm. Like my bike, or my beat-up pickup. Or a favorite pen. In a keep-your-chin-up kind of way.
from erases :
i wish i had a friend like you
from solitaryblue :
i don't feel that way anymore. I used to, and it's gone now. i was just saying, it seems like you haven't lost it
from darthuae :
your words are yummy.
from solitaryblue :
do your friends in "real life" read your diary, or just random webies like me? I think it really affects what you write when they do... just curious.
from solitaryblue :
Sweet. I will keep reading you. It seems like you're the kind of person who is special and knows it. Don't lose that. I used to think I was special, and even in despair it is reassurance. You don't need religion or love when you know in your heart there's something about you, something important. I can tell you know that.
from moonsocket :
you, are a mystery.
from solitaryblue :
i just read one entry and i think i'm in love with you. :) fucking. talented. i'm hooked.
from secret-motel :
It's Friday night. I'm drinking wine. And flipping my mattress over.
from idividedbyi :
sin fang bous??? ♥
from darthuae :
wouldn't you rather tell from the lines on their faces? ah people are so beautiful beautiful...
from in-alaska :
next time i host one i will remember to send you an invite. you are really the sweetest.
from weatethesea :
that was such a nice compliment! it was so nice i don't know what to do. give me a minute.
from darthuae :
i guess all that is human glitters despite the obvious blunt visages. you know, you can tell a lot about people just by looking at their handwriting. you just gave away the button to your transparency, but i swear, i can't see a thing.
from mangotuesday :
"i guess i have had a caffeine deficiency. i guess i'm sweating again." perfect perfect.
from moonsocket :
no, thank'ye!
from erases :
i think my favorite moment on that show is when that little girl that's a fan of toki waits so long for him to show that she's DEAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!... i do cocaine!!!
from erases :
you wish you could be as metal as me.
from chalkstain :
you relax me to no end. i'd sit and listen to you with both my ears. oh god, i would. thanks for your reassurance.
from erases :
look who's talkin' gandalf!.. wait that doesn't make sense.. well, it was a very heavy metal dream.
from darthuae :
i wouldn't trade your craizeeness for anything. sometimes the things that scare us most about ourselves are the things that push us on without us even knowing it.
from darthuae :
thanks darling. it was a fabulous day this year.
from boombasticat :
I like your fantasy powers, both the ones generous and wrathful. I play the lottery game in my head. But, mostly, I'm boring. I wind up buying my mom a great house and then I give every kid in the city a new basketball hoop or a recording studio or a little library. In any event, you've made me miss river water, the power of cold air on the exposed face, and my former close relationship with my own sleeping bag.
from boombasticat :
Dear Miss Sidewinder/Quickfoot/Straightshooter: Falling asleep at night, I sometimes imagine myself to be, like, 20 feet tall. Sometimes 20 feet tall with the ability to fly.
from in-alaska :
i like the pictures you paint with your words. they are so pretty.
from bunnymama :
lol. Thanks!!
from boombasticat :
Here's to delicate moments and to holding your breath.
from moonsocket :
i still get goose bumps and tear up just watching that. so effing intense. so overwhelming. i don't think anything will ever compare to that. ever. it should be law for everyone to see them at least once in their lifetime.
from idividedbyi :
they are called 'moving mountains' and i am quite enjoying their sounds right now. i think you should definitely seek them out. xo
from darthuae :
i'm curious--what should the world change in order to make you less sick?
from darthuae :
i don't know if i still believe in everything i wrote. but it was there for a moment and that's all that matters. i believe in your latest entry, i believe in sadness i don't have to worry much about. ah man, you rock.
from darthuae :
"the truth is i think honesty is an angel dressed up like the devil. we should be thankful to behold it and others should be thankful to be in its presence." - craizee love. i know what you mean. i wish people would stop asking for the truth when they're not even willing to allow it into their heads.
from darthuae :
i've been trying to do the world in a manner you've adopted--i told my mind to those i would've normally walked away from and even though i tend to leave them sad and unsatisfied, i still feel free. and i want to thank you, thank you for being a character in words of feeling. i wish i can remember half the things i think throughout the day--wouldn't that be amusingly saturated?
from secret-motel :
What a great story. Old people in antiques stores are the best. It's like they've been waiting there for years with the right words and the right little item to give to just the right person who walks through that doorway.
from secret-motel :
Probably a wise decision. When I was in SL last night, I saw WANTED posters with your av's picture tacked up everywhere!
from secret-motel :
Glad you like it. Hope it's useful. But please refrain from using it on non-combatants! I really should find some gun stores and make additions to my arsenal.
from secret-motel :
"Bring me some more damn apple juice." That's gotta be the highest peak of awesome.
from erases :
man i love you
from secret-motel :
Hey! I'm in second life, too. I've maimed and killed a ridiculous amount of hours there. No one's given me grief for firearms, though. They get more uptight about trespassing, which I'm very fond of. We should meet there and raise heck together.
from boombasticat :
I'll put the Fitzgerald on my list. And thanks for the really nice note. Notes, plural, really (never mind about the duplicates; I mean notes in the past). You're a kind and careful reader. Eyes wide open, I suspect.
from boombasticat :
So what was the book?
from darthuae :
i have the same problem with the folks i know. sadly, i'm not as solid as you are--i would rather leave than tell them how i felt. and while gone, i think i've come a long way that even the closest people in my life have absolutely no idea what my habits are.
from darthuae :
i know you don't mean to but your words always somehow make me cry. if that's the case... you better stay away from the circus, kid--life would be rather pointless without magic.
from secret-motel :
Thank you for the post-birthday greeting! I love old, out-of-tune pianos, by the way. It's even better if they came from a church. I used to always fiddle around with the pianos in my childhood churchgoing days. And they always sounded beautiful even when some of the keys didn't work and when I didn't know how to play.
from boombasticat :
Is that from Gilead? I liked the voice in that book, the honesty of it.
from darthuae :
i love the circus!
from erases :
i know why the caged axde sings
from moonsocket :
_________________. you render me speechless. ♥.
from in-alaska :
congratulations on your new president! i am filled with jealous rage!
from darthuae :
you know what? i adore your mind.
from darthuae :
i think reading one of your entries is what love should feel like.
from darthuae :
i reckon i'm still old fashioned with my dire need to write things down using pen and paper instead. about your question, do i think people who don't need answers are strong?--absolutely not. normally i like to stay away from insinuation, from the the conflict that comes with dissecting the human mind, but in this case i like to believe that those who can do without understanding or even knowing the names of the bits and pieces of Life are miserable creatures. personally, i'm caught in the middle - i won't allow myself to be in a situation beyond my control, and yet there's the dazzling (why, yes) feeling of not knowing, of letting some else lead you around and show you all of the things you missed when you were wandering alone. surely, i'm not ready to allow someone else into my cave. not yet.
from boombasticat :
All that stuff sounds pretty good to me. You have great images in your writing. The bridge-smoking and talking about synchronized swimming, it's all straight out of a story.
from in-alaska :
that is a comforting sound. it is just one of those things that feels like the end of an era! like a foot coming down on watching cartoons and eating sugary cereal and playing video games. it just feeeels i guess. thank you!
from chalkstain :
was christmas any good? i sure hope so.
from darthuae :
i don't think i'm as strong as my ways and sayings reveal--i know what you mean about sitting alone with your head, it's always happened to me and i always wind up craizee and abandoned. i really ask myself this question all the time; why need to be alone? i can't answer it, i will not give in to the weakness of needing an answer. your humanity is more than i can say for myself - what you said about existing for a reason other than your own happiness is making me feel egocentric and sad. i reckon it's a good thing i will not stop thinking about it--might make me less stoic--because i need that mobility to feel alive again. don't get me wrong, i love the person i've become today (i wouldn't have it any other way), but it's nice to think that the sun shines on everything new for a change. people let me down, what can i do? (p.s. it's good to see you around again.)
from moonsocket :
i'm really glad yr not gone.
from boombasticat :
I love the talk about adrenaline and the moon and Bigfoots. Makes it all feel a little magical.
from erases :
thank you, m'lady! 'wish i could be out riding around with you someplace in the dark near haunted places. sounds like a good time.
from erases :
that's just how you have to roll, sometimes. merry christmas!
from erases :
i'm glad your back. indian warpaint, huh?
from chalkstain :
In response to your note - I said it to a man I know one day too (I always find it difficult to call boys 'men' but I suppose it's happening) and he laughed, a good wholehearted laugh. He's one of those people that has that earthiness in him somewhere, that understanding, I know it's there, it's just difficult to bring it out. It's unfortunate for people to not really realise such things, I suppose. And in response to your entries - 1. Happy belated birthday. Everybody's turning twenty and that's so insane. I hope you had a good one. 2. This place will miss you. Big time. Big big BIG time. If you ever do start writing somewhere again, please let me know. There's something so relaxing and pleasing about the way you write, honestly. Have a good year, sunshine.
from bi-pet :
you'll be missed!!
from moonsocket :
nonononono!!!!!!
from darthuae :
silly - should have read your entry before leaving a note. you're craizee beautiful. i don't know how dland will survive without that. i feel like convincing you to stick around a while but my attempts would prove futile. in any case, here's to being twenty, such a pointless insane age--hope you have a nice year.
from darthuae :
february 20th :) - i hope you had a nice day, though, minus all that fitzgerald fear of aging.
from in-alaska :
are you bidding farewell?!? i hope i am illiterate and misunderstood that!! i wanted to wish you a late happy birthday, not a bon voyage!
from darthuae :
hey, happy birthday! [it's my turn soon.]
from moonsocket :
!!!!einahpets yadhtrib yppah!!!
from erases :
yay happy birthday!
from erases :
come now, don't say things like that.
from chalkstain :
I have no idea what a wifebeater is, aside from a man who beats his wife. Enlighten me, please haha. Thatís quite alright, I donít feel too comfortable posting pictures of people either, to be honest. Iíd still love to see what your world looks like. If itís as amazing as you make it sound. Argh, no, I donít have either facebook or myspace. Iím not one of the cool kids haha. And yes, thank you, sheíll be okay now, I think.
from floorplan :
'the only people in the whole world that should have anything to do with one another are the people who compliment each other in such a way that they are better people and more full because of the others' existence, because it seems like most of the time people are just taking things away from each other. ' nothing could be more real, more true, than that.
from southeast :
friendfriend! okay so i just went and tested it and i think it should work now. when you go to southeast.diaryland.com type in southeast for the user and hug for the password! [i'll give you a special one if that doesn't work.]
from darthuae :
stranger, i'm touched. there's a huge glass wall behind me, and the weather is going craizee out there. i feel light, although my head will say otherwise, and i just think i know the solution to everyone's misery. the world is brilliant, ya see, and my spirit's blithe. [thank you caffeine.] p.s. i think the people in your life are beautiful.
from mangotuesday :
hadto. but. im in southeast now. [southeast/hug.] from me to you. ex oh.
from in-alaska :
no no no!! but thank you x10000! it was a really lovely day and that made it even nicer.
from chalkstain :
it's a book called prep that i found in a small bookstore that had nothing else of interest when i had a few hours to spend at a bus stop on a rainy day. i'm so excited to see pictures of your life. i always imagine you in a blue and white shirt. i have no idea why.
from moonsocket :
nikon. good girl!
from in-alaska :
it is strange indeed, but somewhat comforting!
from darthuae :
perhaps... freedom?
from chalkstain :
I reread a book that I read something like forever ago, which really was only two or three summers ago, and I found this - "He was looking at me expectantly, holding his cookie a few inches above the cup, and the bottom third of the cookie, which was stained a darker tan from the coffee, was beginning to decompose, threatening to fall off into the liquid below. It seemed heartbreaking, it seemed unbearable, that he liked the taste of a sugar cookie, that it was a treat to him. The small rewards we give ourselves - I think maybe there is nothing sadder". I wanted to read it to somebody, because I've always liked how simplistic and yet intricate it sounded coming out of the mouth, but I don't have anybody left that appreciates that sort of thing. So here you go. Not because you're a last resort, but because I know you'd like to listen.
from moonsocket :
! !!!!! ! !!!! !!!
from in-alaska :
i am glad you agree! and i really hope things were a lot less suck for you today.
from bunnymama :
:( Hope you start feeling better. *hug*
from in-alaska :
dear dear dear! get well soon.
from erases :
yes, sister, yes!
from moonsocket :
i don't hate you right now. or ever.
from myheavyheart :
♥ i hope you're doing well.
from darthuae :
man i don't know what to tell you. my nakedness is grieving and you're one of the witnesses and you still think it beautiful - because that's what you are, i guess, so long as the world shambles after those who make our minds go craizee, and we follow, so long as it all fits... i guess that's all we need, isn't it? (p.s. i also need sleep.)
from secret-motel :
Somewhat. I feel less dependent on caffeine. And maybe more energetic, so long as I allow myself a reasonable amount of sleep. And the liquor store has re-opened. I'm just being wiser, I hope, about what and how much I consume. But the mind is still all peaks and valleys, peaks and valleys. But I guess I shouldn't expect a radical change during a mere two-week cessation.
from secret-motel :
How is it that I've overlooked you for so long? That entry about the dying dog and the destroyed piano is what really got me. "Never stop writing."
from darthuae :
your entries are more than enough. i just need to fall on my head, take a look around--answer stupid questions about the world. there's no magic, but it's magikal - the world, i mean.
from darthuae :
i'm trying to, love. i just feel like hell.
from erases :
girl, you always throw me through a loop.
from darthuae :
i know what you mean. i wonder, after that entry, how did it feel to wake up sane?
from moonsocket :
make sure the cabin is in the north. the far north. like, in canada, that kind of north. then i can come sneak you hot chocolates with marshmallows and we can play iron and wine songs and bon iver songs and hide from the bozos. xo.
from darthuae :
the note? i guess. though you should always keep in mind that "all that's beautiful drifts away like the waters" - w.b. yeats
from darthuae :
how true this is: 2008-10-15 12:13 a.m. and how no one is ever going to love the intensity of your/our incorruptible minds - unless they're just like you.
from darthuae :
man, i think you just made me cry.
from mangotuesday :
i love your honesty. it/s important.
from chalkstain :
ugh. i love your writing so much sometimes that i want to rip out your spine and move in.
from hrtlssrmntc :
i know! i'm an idiot with the locking and passwords nonsense. to solve this i am just going to unlock and remain as such. i apologize for any and all inconveniences and i do assure you it won't occur ever again! goodnight, sleeptight!
from hrtlssrmntc :
what i meant, in that embarrassing note, was that you string your words quite elegantly. a way seldom seen lately. and if you mean the tight lipped part, i was referring to the smiles made with the brackets and colons.
from hrtlssrmntc :
you have such lovely ways of putting things. :) SMILES :) unfortunately, they look more tight-lipped than well meaning.
from erases :
you remind me of a girl i once knew.. always be true to yourself. always.
from moonsocket :
how fast can you get to portland from alabama?!!???? it's TONIGHT!!!! chimchimmereeeeeee!!!!!
from darthuae :
"truly the only people worth knowing are the ones who make you feel less lonely after having spent time with them." // love, love, and everything in between. no matter how messed up i am, your words always give me a place to go.
from erases :
i never gave up on you. and i don't think i ever will.
from hrtlssrmntc :
that was very sweet. ever since reading that i've had smiles for miles. i would gladly accept you into my circle of friends. there aren't enough real girls. just a lot of boys that act like girls, and girls that act like boys. but i hope all is well, and don't forget to keep your head up!
from moonsocket :
psssttt hey......wanna swap places?
from darthuae :
sometimes i wonder what love's like. most times, it's simple distance.
from avere :
http://asterion.blogspot.com/2005/05/love-looks-not-with-eyes-but-with-mind.html That entry reminds me of your diaryland entries.
from moonsocket :
smoking is not good for you.
from moonsocket :
so....sometimes i go and leave notes for people and i forget that i'm still logged in under my "alter ego". yeah, sometimes.....doesn't change the substance found within though.
from idividedbyi :
♥.
from moonsocket :
i could read nothing but yr words until the end of forever and be happier than i've ever been before. all i need.
from chalkstain :
i hope to see you there. eventually.
from myheavyheart :
thanks love, i'm glad you liked it :)
from moonsocket :
i don't live in argentina, but i will read to you every night......i've always wanted to move to south america. true story.
from notunique :
i think the moon is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. absolutely captivating.
from darthuae :
you fucking rock.
from insertsmilex :
i just needed to mention that i fuckin love your perspective. i wish i was surrounded with more peolpe that looked at life like you do, cuz i do. <3
from moonsocket :
it makes me very happy to read that you've sorted things out. you deserve release. true story: i'm back in ontario, and i spent the evening with an ex from high school that i treated like crap the whole 3 years we was together. hadn't seen her in 10 years. and it was wonderful and healing. it's not my main source of anguish at the present moment, but hey, you have to start somewhere, right?
from insertsmilex :
thank you, and dont worry you wont get put on the bullshitter list. its definately for all of the friends in my town that act like their gonna join us in roadtrips and all of the crazy things we do.. but then of course, bullshit. its ashame that list had to even get created. haha. do good.
from darthuae :
"how long did it take you to smoke that cigarette?" -- that is the prettiest thing i've read all month, i guess. oh, and i love irrelevant.
from moonsocket :
[ps-i listen to the trapeze swinger on repeat, too.]
from moonsocket :
that's exactly what i'm talking about. [i've done it more than once.] i had no idea it was the same for you. that scares the crap out of me even more.
from moonsocket :
yr words terrify me. to no end. they haunt me like the ghost of someone who once was mine. but i can't stop reading...
from darthuae :
do you recognize yourself as a 19 year old today, or do you constantly try to live backwards? on the topic of books, someone once said that if you read "the beautiful and damned" by fitzgerald at a wrong age it's going to fuck you up for the rest of your life. and it did. now age along with time betrays any pointlessness of youth i had in my head - it'll be lost before i know it. and so, now, i'm just miserable and recklessly concerned with age/time.
from darthuae :
i'm sorry--too messed up beyond age recognition? i love your newest entry, the one about the mind scatter at the airport. tell me... what book was it that made you so delirious?
from insertsmilex :
i love that your pimpin all over the world. i love your attitude. pinkies up. do good. <3
from moonsocket :
true story: i booked a flight to ontario last night. to visit family. aug 2-16. whachewknowaboutdat?!! so weird, right?!!
from moonsocket :
you seem, from reading yr words anyways, to be someone i would love to call "my people". i think we could cause some trouble together. just a thought......too bad i'm not closer to ontario, we could have hooked up for some fast ones. play safe out there!
from erases :
if you say so
from darthuae :
oh, man, you do know that my writing is weak next to how dazzling yours is?--you've got that magik. there's no other way i can describe it. you're fiddling with a lot of lost minds, i'm sure you know that. though, glad you enjoyed the entries :)
from moonsocket :
"secret placed" or "secret places". you pick! haha!
from moonsocket :
yr coming to canada? well done! where are you going? i know of many lovley and secret placed from coast to coast. it's true! ♥.
from hrtlssrmntc :
perfection!
from hrtlssrmntc :
was it a success?
from hrtlssrmntc :
hmmm, if you give me an email addresss i can surely hook you up with a password. i fear the public too much to let this beast free.
from hrtlssrmntc :
you're marvelous.
from boyecho :
but back scratchers suck!
from boyecho :
but sometimes friends/people can reach the places you cant. like scratching your back...
from bi-pet :
beautiful writing...
from moonsocket :
you have no idea what i would have given to be there. i love and miss the spontaneous creativity that abounds from situations like that. i miss it. and i fully support yr taste in bon iver. well done!
from erases :
For the first time in several minutes, I glanced around at the tiny elderly man with the unlighted cigar. The delay didn't seem to affect him. His standard of comportment for sitting in the rear seat of cars - cars in motion, cars stationary, and even, one couldn't help imagining, cars that were driven off bridges into rivers - seemed to be fixed. It was wonderfully simple. You just sat very erect, maintaining a clearance of four or five inches between your top hat and the roof, and you stared ferociously ahead at the windshield. If Death - who was out there all the time, possibly sitting on the hood - if Death stepped miraculously through the glass and came in after you, in all probability you just got up and went along with him, ferociously but quietly. Chances were, you could take your cigar with you, if it was a clear Havana.
from erases :
read me a line.
from myheavyheart :
and the song which really rips me apart is amsterdam by coldplay, especially the live version. and gravity (coldplay version). i cry every time i hear it. i like piano instrumentals. without words, with only a single instrument, it sings my life, my song. you know, like i can 'hear' the lyrics, i can just hear it...
from myheavyheart :
my favorite line from a book is: 'i think god overdid it,' from tuesdays with morrie by mitch albom. morrie said that line when mitch asked his opinion on what god did to job. because i think god overdid many things many times. too many things, too many times.
from myheavyheart :
oh deary, have you stolen all the sugar in the world? now YOU promise me, that YOU won't stop writing! i love you plenty!
from myheavyheart :
haha! your note made me laugh out loud :) you're wonderful too my love. let me share a secret with you. i copy and paste your entries into word pad and save it! shhhh!
from boyecho :
sleep is. and always has been. overrated. except when i've worked 16 hours over night... then sleep is a welcome distraction.
from imworried :
Well now I have to do it. :D
from chalkstain :
not forever i'd imagine. the username and password are on my profile, if you can't figure it, let me know.
from myheavyheart :
i've always loved your writing. you know how people flip open a book, read a line at random and it seems to explain their life then? your diary's like that one line in that book. more than anything else, i love you.
from chalkstain :
any chance i could have the username/password? this is me begging ~ ais.c(at)hotmail(dot)com
from myheavyheart :
hey, i've always loved reading you, and you're all locked up now. if you don't mind, ngbaoxian@hotmail.com, do take care, much love ~<3
from jburnage :
So you're all locked up huh... Am I allowed in or no? (it's okay if it's no too, I mean, a girl has to have her privacy sometimes too)
from sherpahigh :
Thanks, Babe... please do.
from sherpahigh :
I miss you
from sherpahigh :
That's how I feel about you. Happiest Holidays... May the new year bring dreams come true. xox
from sherpahigh :
That's exactly what I'm hearing... you're doing what you can. That's exactly what is ok. I never said today was the day to deal, my friend... simply that we shouldn't forget there is a world beyond our circumstance and no matter where we stand in that world, until we deal with the circumstance... it remains the same. Do what you need to... be who you want to... and be true as you're doing it. You know I'm proud of you...
from sherpahigh :
Drastik's right... and I'll tell you what I told my mourning friend last night... It's ok to change. It's ok to be self-involved and want to hide, or pretend... but at the end of it all you have to know that your circumstance simply is what it is. No matter how you change, how selfish you are, or how much you pretend... and at some point coping must end and dealing must begin. Happiness and truth... the power they have. So be happy... but be true.
from drastik :
You're more than allowed to focus on you.. I'm sure a lot of people so. Just focus on the good stuffs. Happiness can be more powerful than you'd think. Contagious kiss.
from drastik :
"Where would you like to go today?"
from jburnage :
There are so many people who absolutely adore you Steph... even when you hate yourself. I count myself one of them. I don't really know what to say about the most recent entry, but I do know I am incredibly glad you did find something that day at the bridge, and I know I'm just someone who doesn't really exist because it is the internet, but I assure you, there is a very real person 900 miles north of you who cares for you very much... and who loves you like you should love yourself. STOP FORGETTING THAT ALREADY.
from cheekyash :
somehow found your diary. your words fit somehow. i added you and hope you don't mind.
from drferozlaw :
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=117292139
from augustmaple :
I think you write extremely beautiful. And I thought you deserved to know. :)
from sherpahigh :
Amitryptylline is evil. I know it. I'm glad things are adjusting for you... I'm glad you're seeing things is a brighter light. You will be ok - that is true... Keep up the fight... you're doing well. xo.
from sherpahigh :
*mwah!!* Picture that on your cheek... you deserve it.
from sherpahigh :
You're always welcome my Darling... and every word is true... don't lose yourself in this. Instead, find yourself within it. Trust me. Much love.
from jpop :
hey axde, who is this and how did you come across my diary?!!!!!
from sherpahigh :
Cry for a boy... don't cry over a boy. It's the best advice I have. Miss the things you love about him... miss what he gave you... but don't miss him. Stay as whole as you can... normal cracks and chips expected... but don't let him shatter you. You're still loved... by him... by me... by many.
from sherpahigh :
My ex had a similar ritual with worries... where we'd burn them, or if we had no fire... we'd share them and then "blow" them away... It's totally mental, but it works, doesn't it? I love your heart, by the way...
from notunique :
you remind me of someone I used to know. thanks for making contact.
from drastik :
LOL: "alcohol is hard to sleep on " that entry made my night!
from cannet :
i am wishing you the best
from tdtemp :
Yes because you didn't code it or put it TOGETHER yourself.
from sherpahigh :
I read the note below this and rolled my eyes... You know you have TOO much time on your hands when... Nevertheless, just letting you know that I'm locking up my diary for a bit. If there's a way to get a password to you... we should find it. Take care.. xo.
from tdtemp :
You have taken my layout named "reflecting back" and claimed it as your own. Yes you chaged the picture and the font, but this does not mean that you made the layout. This is considered stealing. It takes me a LONG time to make layouts and I really don't appreciate it when people steal them. Please put a link back to http://tdtemp.diaryland.com Thank you, Charmaine
from sherpahigh :
I've been looking for those words my whole life... I love people that same way... different than a whole love... but not less complete. It's a hard rain... i think, for some... to define the complexity of those shades. Thank you for finding the words.
from do-not-judge :
hi, i LOVE drain the blood by the distillers!!! if you have'nt already heard it, give 'i am a revenant' a listen, its fucking awesome.
from cannet :
i like reading your diaryland, mainly because it is young & honest in a beautiful way
from sherpahigh :
Thank you... It doesn't feel beautiful most of the time... it barely feels like it beats lately... but thank you for reminding me it's in there somewhere behind my ribs. I'm glad to know you... happy I get to call you my friend. xo.
from do-not-judge :
hey, just wondering, what was that latest entry? i mena was it lyrics or what? i liked it.
from theicing :
:)
from drastik :
... oh, I just re-read .. yes.. VERY holy wow.
from drastik :
holy wow what now?
from sherpahigh :
"you cannot be angry at the writer for what he wrote, but only angry at yourself for reading it. For that alone, was your choice."
from blueozark :
You have a lot of insight. Keep up the good work. :)
from theicing :
i do so love getting comments.makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
from sherpahigh :
I'm sorry your heart hurts...
from do-not-judge :
its even funnier because as i WROTE it i had my guitar in my lap...
from do-not-judge :
its even funnier because as i WROTE it i had my guitar in my lap...
from do-not-judge :
you mentioned that you want to do something that you can get really good at...do you play guitar? if not i'd recommend giving it a go...its a great way to keep yourself occupied and its rewarding when you learn to play one of your favorite songs. you can pick up a guitar cheap on ebay, but always read the fine print.
from sherpahigh :
There is something about the rhythm of your words that makes me read to a beat. I'm glad I found your page... I like reading. Cheers.
from baymontey :
hey, there's plenty of cows and grass and hay around theses parts of my parts. i should probably take better advantage of them.
from cdghost :
yeah. it's in her family. her mom died of it and her aunt and grand mother both did.
from cdghost :
you want to hear something good. my friend who i thought was dying of cancer. well. she does not have cancer after all!
from blueozark :
i like jenny lewis myself.
from cdghost :
beautiful layour and words
from jburnage :
holy crap, for a lighter? so I take it you don't have smokers congregating on school property like every school in Canada does huh?
from jburnage :
we've been counting down your days, going over every false thing you say!
from jburnage :
I know I never update anymore, and I know even my drawing sites are quite neglected, but I think about you quite often and it really bothered me that there wasn't even a way to contact you other than by phone and I am a gutless boy when it comes to telephones, especially when the recipient is hundreds of miles away. I'm glad you are alive. Merry Christmas kiddo. Josh.

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update: Still fixing stuff as fast as I can!. As you may have noticed, Diaryland is being renovated, which is still in progress. Bugs are all being fixed. The new design should work on phones much better than the old one, and pages in the members area are being converted to the new look one by one, so they can be tested. Please email help@diaryland.com with any new problems, but things that are already bugs should be fixed soon!
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