messages to blakkrayn:
(click here to add new message):

from nccountry :
wow. glad to hear u don't hafta move, packin' and moving and unpackin' is a pain. congrats on the first year. it goes by so fast dosent it. lol talk to you later
from nccountry :
dang that sucks. i hope u get lucky and find an even better place.
from nccountry :
WOW is all i can say!!!!! lmfao
from cannibalhymn :
Ugh I had to take my car in today. :( Why can't cars just WORK right??
from nccountry :
bout time u updated lmfao. i need to too so i cant rly say anything.glad u had a good time for your bday!
from jacqueline21 :
Hey girl! I just logged on and got your last note you left. You are right, I don't get on much anymore - and I definitely never usually write. But I do check in now and then to read stuff from my old favorites ;) Glad to hear all is going well for you and the little one! I am doing good too. Crazy busy, but good. I am on my way to read your latest posts ;)
from cannibalhymn :
"Life is hard sometimes, but I'm hopeful..." Me too. :)
from nccountry :
wow. that really sucks. i'm sorry to hear your weekend sucked but hopefully next weekend will be so much better. My son aggrivated me so bad yesterday i wanted to go jump off the balcony. i was in a good mood and then i just snapped lol guess its that time aunt flo comes to visit LMFAo i hope your week goes much better!!!!
from nccountry :
OMG you read my mind!!!! I'm terrified of blood clots and i take birth control and that increases the risk. i've also had pain in my legs and arms but i believe that could be from the siatic nerve ya know that nerve in your butt lmao no but its in your lower back and it affects your hips and runs down your leg and its PAINFULL! but i got insurance now and i haven't been to the doc yet! moneys tight gotta get the cash for copays. i meant to watch that oprah episode but missed it dangit! you have read my mind! lmao
from nccountry :
you know what i've worked at that same grocery store i had the interview at and i left on good terms. i thought the interview went great and i never got a call, they said they would call me weither or not i got the job but no call. theres a new manager at the store since i've worked there and they say he wants to hire me but i need to open up my hours and i cant' do that because i have no one to watch my son. it sucks but once they start hiring night time cashiers i was told they would consider me. i was lucky to even get the interview cause i knew a woman ther thats the personelle manager and she got the interview for me and she's also lookin' into other stores for me so i hope she can help me out!!!!
from nccountry :
girl you get married where you want, its your day lol and i kinda went through that same thing not exact but kinda the same. I went ahead and got married in nc b/c it was very very very important to me that my uncle be there along with my sis and my mom so that's what we did and my husbands parents and his little sis make the trip up to nc to be there for him, it was way easier for his fam to go than mine to come here. my uncle and my sis had the day off and i chose that day to get married so that they could be there. now some of his fam didn't come along with his parents, and some of my family didn't get to make it either but we had everyone there. NC would be a wonderful place to live. but to me its more laid back than some places and not as hectic but if you lived in charlotte or something like that it would be busey. Move to NC lol!
from nccountry :
hey girl glad you updated lol i pretty much only log on to here to see of anyones updated and i don't really update my diary anymore i figure if anyone wants to hear from me they can look up my myspace. see ya on myspace!! ♪♫
from cannibalhymn :
Thanks so much for the note! You're about the only person reading. I saw your nice comment about me on your profile, and I tried clicking through to my diary but it didn't work. There was a space in front of my name or something.
from nccountry :
OMG! i'm sry things arent good. oh man i dunno what to say!
from nccountry :
well you know its goin' to be your big day and they areny goin' to pay for it so you definately have the right to invite whoever you choose :)
from nccountry :
I'm glad everyone's ok!
from nccountry :
Well now actually my baby has another tooth coming in right beside the other one. i'm so happy i want to cry! lol! um i got out wedding bands to match my engagement ring cause its white gold 2, i probibly should of went with the sterling silver thiugh! Now i just want to make it official so i can go ahead and wear the band! :)
from nccountry :
You go girl! I want to go shopping with you! LOL! You should come here in fla and tell some people off! :)
from nccountry :
have a great time this weekend and i'm glad to hear yall worked everything out! :)
from annachan :
congratulations!!! i'm happy for you
from nccountry :
Hun! mother in laws are like that, my fiance's mom is like that somewhat. She called on day to check on the baby and asked what he was doin', what he was wearin' and if corey ate anything! WTF!
from wvprincess :
well..about the tux's..lol..only 2 out of 7 of them fit properly..and Alex had to buy a dress shirt the day of the wedding because the replacement shirt didn't get here in time..lol..it was a mess but it all turned out great..by the way love the halloween pics of the kids!! :)
from annachan :
wow he's so cute!!
from nccountry :
OMG!!!! Triston is soooooooo adorable! What a cutie!
from wvprincess :
Thank you for the wonderful note..it made me feel a lot better!! I am glad that you are back online!! :)
from annachan :
i'm glad to hear from you and i hope you stay and update often.
from nccountry :
Girl i'm gettin' so big. I've even had some people ask if i'm havin' twins, i'm like um.....i better not be, lol, well i found out on the 19th of sept that i now have gestational diabetes and i'm controling it with diet at the moment and i have to test my blood sugat 5 times a day, which is a bummer in itself, other than that i'm great and i'm tired, lol, i'm ready for this little booger to be out! I think i have less than 2 months left. So how's your babie? how's everything with you? I hope to talk to you soon!
from ryarianne :
hey... it's been awhile... are you near Louisville, btw?
from annachan :
omg you finally updated!! :o it seems like overall you're doing good, sorry to hear about your grandpa though :/ i hope you write more often even if you don't have anything important to say.
from nccountry :
well girl its about time!! It must be nice to live in a house and vaulted celings are nice! I don't know if i mentioned this but i found out in march that i'm pregnant to and i'm around 14 weeks now, the edd is nov, 26, 06. Just in time for hurricane season and thanksgiving! LOL! Glad to hare from ya again!
from foreverfairy :
OMG! Sweetie, you are so far along! I miss the hell out of ya!! You've got to e-mail me with everything that's been going on...I am out-of-date with everything (& everyone). :( Triston...I love that name!! As for the C-Section..no worries, that's how Stevie came into the world. Had the bikini cut, only 3-maybe 4" wide and it's not noticable at all now (yes, goodies stay in GREAT shape!!) He was Frank-Breech and came 2 months early, that's why the C-Section. The pain wasn't great, but the meds were! Woo-Hoo! LOL Well, Mr. dad wanted visitation, etc. did he? Hmmm....you go girl with the fight! Best of luck with all of that. (You really don't need that stress right now though). OK...will e-mail ya...once I have your addy again..I too lost everything on my hard drive. :( [email protected] Can't wait to hear from you again! Hugs N Love, Tracy
from jacqueline21 :
I love that name! Actually, it is funny because if my baby were a boy, the name would have been: Gabriel Tristan. ;)
from jacqueline21 :
Ooh! A boy! Congrats:) Got names picked out?
from wvprincess :
Congrats on having a boy!! Glad everything is going well!! :)
from nccountry :
I'm glad to see you updated :) It's a boy!!! Yay!!!
from jacqueline21 :
so is it a boy or a girl? did you find out yet?
from jacqueline21 :
so is it a boy or a girl? did you find out yet?
from annachan :
well it looks like things are going pretty well for you, well except your ex dropping by, but other than that... keep smiling.
from nygprincess :
Glad everything is going great, and I hope you get your alone time! You can never have too much alone time, hehe. You must be starting to get bigger by now, eh?
from ibepiglet :
Well hideeho and thanks for the kind words! I prefer my lighter posts, I gotta get back into that place!!! Maybe when I can eat a greasy pizza again I'll be happier. Good luck with all you're about to experience. I'll be reading!
from nygprincess :
I think its probably normal to feel mixed feelings about the baby. It's a big deal to have a kid, so I would think you were abnormal if you weren't stressed out about it. And I'm sure he's going to ask you to marry him at some point, maybe he just wants to wait till the right time. He is probably nervous to do it, being that the previous two times he popped the question to women they ended up leaving him.
from jacqueline21 :
Hey congrats to you too! I know you have been trying for awhile:) I am so happy for you! (I am in my 18th week right now, and my due date is November 17th!)
from nccountry :
Awww! That's so sweet! Its cool how he's jumpin' into father mode already!
from nygprincess :
Hey, girlie!! Sorry I've been slacking in the leaving notes, but I've been having internet problems. How is everything going? I hope the pregnancy is going ok. Make sure you take those prenatal vitamins, eat well and get lots of rest (sorry, I can't turn off the doctor, lol).
from nccountry :
I feel the exact same way about the marriage thing, I would rather be married before i bring a child into the world, but if i'm not married i'll probibly eventually be. good luck and don't let your daughters father stress you out or anything! ttfn!
from nygprincess :
Hey, I can't leave a long message because I'm currently in a final exam crisis, but I just wanted to congratulate you on being pregnant! I'm really happy for you both.
from nccountry :
I feel the same way about havin' my mothers approval, but i'm old enough to make my own decisions and you are 2. Hopefully they will come around once the baby's born and put all the bad feelings aside!
from krazieespy :
OMG CONGRATS on being pregnant.. That is sooo exciting.. I hope your parents come around and support you two.. IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU... :) ♥ Heather
from annachan :
sorry to hear about your grandpa :( but yay!!!! congrats on being pregnant!!! yay!!!
from nccountry :
That's how i think about it also, once someone passes on i believe they went to a better place! And.....CONGRATS!!!! That is so exciting!
from october-moon :
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! Keep your head up. Life gets easier and pain eases with time. You will be in my thoughts and prayers! Jade
from nygprincess :
I am so sorry to hear about Anthony's dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Anthony and his entire family.
from krazieespy :
Im so sorry hun.. You are in my thoughts and I hope you and the boy get through this okay.. Remember Im thinking about you!
from jacqueline21 :
You are all in my prayers! Hang in there girl. *hugs*
from foreverfairy :
Awww Sweetie! WTF have I been missing while I was "gone"???? Dammit! I can't leave you and the boy alone for a week and I come back to this?!!! lol We need to talk. An e-mail...not in here. I have a couple of things to share with ya about the boy n the porn n shit. Might make you feel better. Might not, but I'm hoping it will. :) I've missed you so much!! The only 2 people I even keep in close touch with here is you and Jade. Between the 2 of you, my next door neighbors/in-laws/landlords...MY GAWD...my cup runneth over! hee hee :) Anyhoo, I'm back in action here and on-line again after the hospital bout. I'm not wanting to see that place anytime soon. (BASTARDS!) I'll e-mail ya shortly...but gotta run that sweeper first...fuzz-bunnies are taking over! lol HUGE {{{HUGS}}} to you, Luv ya, xox Tracy....
from nygprincess :
I wish I could give you some kind of advice but I have a pretty negative attitude towards life right now and my advice would probably be pessimistic and not worth much. I'm sorry that you are feeling so down, but you should definitely not cut yourself. Inflicting pain on yourself is not going to change your situation. Even if it does make you feel good, that feeling will only be temporary. But I know what its like to feel lost and completely miserable and confused and to feel the need to do something to make the pain go away. You cut yourself, I eat Ben and Jerry's and cheese fries. I guess neither of us deal with our pain in very healthy ways. Anyway, I can't tell you what to do, because my own life is a fucked up mess, but I can tell you that if you ever need to vent on someone, feel free to message me or email me or whatever. I hope things get better for you. :)
from nccountry :
actually we are refered to as front end service personel or package help.
from nccountry :
I'm a bagger at a grocery store called publix. It's pretty populat here in south fla, we have them everywhere! Oh i see you added me to your reads! :) Thanks!
from october-moon :
Just thought I'd say hi:) I was reading your diary and you sound cool so I thought I'd drop you a note! ~Jade~
from nccountry :
I added you to my buddy list yesterday so i guess that's me youre talkin' about :). I have been readin' your diary for a while now and i should of added ya a while back since i always come to your diary to see if you update anyway!! I look forward to readin' ya!
from krazieespy :
WOW the postcard only took little less than a month to get to ya :) Things are well.. Hope you are doing good.. ♥
from nygprincess :
I'm sorry that you are so sad. I wish you would would have gotten better news. I know your probably pretty down, but try to remember that your young and you have plenty of time for it to happen. I'm not really particularly religious, but I do kind of believe in fate. I think that when things are meant to happen, they do and that everything happens for a reason. And hey, at least you guys can have tons of fun trying, hehe. Moving does suck, trust me I know. It is truly one of the most annoying things to have to go through, but think how much happier you'll be when you are all settled into the new place. Try to keep your chin up, everything will work itself out, you'll see. :)
from nygprincess :
I am so so sorry to hear that you didn't get the news that you wanted. It really sucks to get your hopes dashed, but you are still young and the two of you have plenty of time. I know that doesn't make you feel better right now though. :( At least you are moving away from the landlady from hell. Anyway, have a great Easter!
from krazieespy :
Even though im not "the boy" I would go with ya if I could... I'm talkin to the higher power for ya tomorrow so its good news :)
from krazieespy :
WOW all 189 LMAO.. Good Luck Tomorrow.. I hope it comes out well for you :) :)
from annachan :
Good luck dear! *hugs*
from krazieespy :
I hope you are posistive too.. Not sure if you will get the postcard or not because I didnt understand the girl when I was buying stamps.. Sigh. Glad you had a good trip.. cant wait for the results :)
from foreverfairy :
WELCOME BACK!!! I'm SO glad you and the boy made it to and from NE safely. And really happy that you got to spend quality time with your daughter and parents!! I know how you must miss her. I agree with the other poster here, get the pregnancy test! Hurry...this inquiring mind wants to know!! LOL If this is what you & the boy want, then this is what I want for you too. :) You guys would be one happy "family"! :) My son is rushing me off of the internet :(...but I WILL BE BACK! Big {{{HUGS}}}, Tracy
from annachan :
you should go take a pregnancy test. i'm sure if you are, it'll show now. good luck. :)
from foreverfairy :
SARAH!!! Where are you? How was NE?? Is everything K? I figured you'd be full of updates for your fans to read! lol I just wanted to check in to see if you are ok. I'll be checkin' back... Luv ya, {{{HUGS}}} Tracy
from annachan :
i only applied to the UCs, pepperdine and northwestern. UCI and UCLA is closest. northwestern is farthest obviously, it's in IL. I applied to 6 UCs: UCI, UCLA, UC Berkeley, UC Davis, UCSD, UCSB. davis is really far, but has a good science department (i'm majoring chem)... but 8 hours drive... berkeley is about 6... SD (san diego), SB (santa barbara), and peppperdine are about 1-2 hours. UCI and UCLA are about 30-45min away. UCI's my best bet right now... but a lot of the times i get scared. what if i make it into northwestern... and i don't go... what if i regret my choice?
from nygprincess :
Mayo and grapes, eh? That sounds rather disgusting, but it did make me laugh. I'm actually doing better today, so maybe I'm getting over it. I hope. Anyway, have a great weekend visiting your daughter!!! Update us when you get back.
from nygprincess :
I love the new layout, it is very cute!!!! I agree with the person below me who said you should probably wait a few days. And if you aren't pregnant, don't get upset because you are still really young and you have lots of time to get pregnant. I know that probably doesn't make you feel any better though. I hope your birthday was great. Mine pretty much sucked ass, but I'm used to birthdays sucking.
from annachan :
i think you should wait until the 4th or 5th day of the missing period. then when you take the test, try to convince yourself that not having a baby this particular time is okay (after all, if you don't this time, there's plenty of more times to try and have fun :D ) then look at the test so if it's negative you're not too disappointed and if it's positive... well i'm sure you know what to do with that haha... but yeah, i would wait a few more days. it takes about 7 days for that thing in urine to show. but if you're experiencing dizziness and nausesia, and really really fatigued and experiencing weird food cravings (or starting to hate food you liked before) those are all signs of pregnancy.
from foreverfairy :
Hi Sarah!! Thank you SO much for the compliments on my last entry! That meant a lot to me...I wasn't sure how E1 would feel about that entry, but it was somethin' I just had to write. The deal with me & the ex-hubby is this: In 1998, I had Cervical cancer, went thru the op, the treatments & then into pre-mature menopause. (YUCK!) The meno changed me, drastically. I mean, I changed the way I wore my hair, it's color, the way I dressed and the things I did. I became who I am now. There is not much left to the old Tracy, as I use to be very shy and never in the center of things. but now, BAM! Baby! LOL...Anyhoo, I felt, at that time, that I was no longer happy with him and wasn't in love anymore, so I told him this, asked him to move out, then moved to Texas for 2 months. He filed for Divorce while I was gone (w/ another guy) and I was a divorced woman 1 month later. I returned home and found that I had really went crazy there for awhile. We started "seeing" each other and found that the love was still there, so we started working on our relationship again. Since 2000, we have each had signifigant others, he more than me, but we have always went back to each other. The love is strong and he is my best friend. We just now live in different homes and it's working for us like that right now, so...we have decided to leave it like this for the time being...crazy as it sounds. LOL That's pretty much the gist of why and how. But yes, I do love him and he loves me. And we have our son, so when we are seen out & about, nobody would know that we aren't a married couple living together. :) And one more thing, ask me anything you want...it's ok. I feel I have gotten close to you as a friend on here. I read your diary every single day to see what my "friend" is up to. You & Heather are my 2 best on-line friends. :) (Luv you guys!!) Hey, I love the new layout!!! So SPRING looking & fresh! Great job. Have a safe trip this weekend & hope you have lots to tell once you get back!! :) {{{HUGS}}}, Tracy XOX
from krazieespy :
ya send me postcards... I will have mail when I get back.. I already have your address :) ♥
from krazieespy :
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the new layout :)
from annachan :
ahh! i'm so glad you talked to him :) i love the new layout. the old one was kinda gloomy... (the horizontal scrollbar pops up though and i view on 1024). happy belated birthday. it's okay that your bday was uneventful, at least anthony got you those frogs :) cute
from nygprincess :
Hey, I'm sorry that things are not going so well between the two of you. You guys really need to sit down and talk. I wish I could give you better advice, but I suck at dealing with men and relationships, so my advice would probably suck balls too. :) Don't you just love getting a new layout? It always makes me feel better for some odd reason.
from krazieespy :
Im sorry about this sweetie.. I went through this shit with Dustin too. It was frustrating, I was hurt and I was sad.. I moved home though (even though now I wish I wouldnt have done it as fast as I could, but I couldnt afford an apartment by myself in Idaho either) I didnt know anyone, but make sure you sit him down and talk to him about ALL OF THIS.. You dont deserve to be treated this way... I hope things work out FOR YOU! and what is best for you.
from annachan :
hey thanks for the info that helped a lot. i feel a lot better... but i would feel better if my period started. but under those terms you've given me, i don't think i'm pregnant. anyway, i'm sorry about all this stuff you have to deal with. i have to admit that he is being rather contradictory. it reminds me a little of when eric's in one of his moods. you guys should really talk abuot this in a more calm matter. he should understand that sacrifices need to be made. i'm sure that he does want to be with you. he's just scared. you should tell him what he said about his family hurt you and that you felt you were a part of his family. you should always ask for an explanation to something like that. things like that define whether you should be in this relationship or not.
from annachan :
oh hey no problem... but what?! are you serious?! sperm dies when it comes in contact with the air?! I only know that it lives for about 2 hours and that soap kills it... are you serious?... cause if you are, then you have relieved a lot of burden...
from foreverfairy :
Hi ya Sweetie, Oooow, I know, the 911 tapes 7 story...my God, how horrible! :( I have my fingers crossed for you (about passing!) You've had a lot of things on your mind but I'm sure you did fine. :) NASCAR Sunday, yea, I said screw it too and didn't watch. :( dammit! Still getting sick in the morns'? Hmmm...maybe soon take a test?! :) Could be why you are moody with the boy?! Ah, if guys could only decipher our moods! Hee-Hee Love ya! {{{HUGS}}}, Trac'....
from krazieespy :
*crosses fingers*
from annachan :
no... i'm 18! i don't want to have a baby yet. :P no, eric and i have not had sex. but i have given him a hand job while he fingers me at the same time... sometimes things get messy and you know... but we've been really careful. when eric and i do do it, i'll say so. haha.
from krazieespy :
God I feel like a note whore right now, but I meant to write about Avon eyeliner.. I got some Mark(avon) eyeliner and it KICKS ASS. So I know what you mean :)
from krazieespy :
HA HA i dont care about brand either, but I got a few cute skirts.. anyways I leave for mexico in 11 days im excited. SPRING BREAK is coming fast.. Ill send ya a postcard. I think I still have your address if not email me again :) Ill let ya know ♥ whore ;)
from krazieespy :
BOOOOOOO YA I did. Kick ass :) Bye Luv
from krazieespy :
now I feel like a note whore LMAO. ha ha. Just saying Hi cause I noticed we shared a buddy "foreverfairy" Hi sweetie I think I figured out the ♥ thing.
from krazieespy :
no it didnt work.. how do you make that heart like you did on your entry? &heart did that work? ha ha your notes are my test.. Bye Luv
from krazieespy :
Im excited too if your excited... :) Just saying Hi babe.. &hearts I hope that worked ha ha
from foreverfairy :
Uh-Oh...SPELL CHECK ALERT to my last note I left for you...Dammit I made an awful lot of errors in that! :( BTW, I've become a Note Whore too! I love it...and I think everyone loves getting notes n comments!! (I DO!!) :) {{{HUGS}}}, Trac'...
from foreverfairy :
Ooooow Sarah!!! I am so excited for you G/F!! Maybe a baby?! Awwwwwwwww! :) A baby is something special, let me tell you. And the boy, well, it seems he is wanting this as much or maybe even more than you! And that is such a good thing Sweetie! :) I read a few notes from others, and it's none of my biz, but it is 100% up to you and the boy about having a baby...nobody else really has any say so whatsoever, ya know? I'm not trying' to step on toes, please forgive if I did, as I am sure those others are dear friends of yours, but Hun, the baby is for you and the boy to think and worry about. :) LOL, your Diary is always such a fun read...you are so fucking blunt...like me..I love it! Hee-Hee Tell it like it is G/F, it's the only way to be! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm gonna have to start e-mailing you, I don't want to talk about a bunch of stuff in notes, if ya know what I mean. Your Diary is read by others, but...well, ya know. baby stuff and the boy stuff...I would rather e-mail some things...if that's ok? :) Anyhoo...YES! Myrtle Beach is da bomb Baby! Where in the hell do you live? Is MB Bike Week a possibility for you? Would love to catch up with ya there. It really is awesome. Sturgis is great, but you have to travel forever to get from place to place and there is no beach to hang out at...no the awesome amusement park to go on rides w/ your sweetie! Let me know if you could go..it would be so much damned fun! I mean it! BTW, THANK YOU soooooo much for the wonderful compliment 'bout my pic! I guess not too bad for an old braod, huh? LMAO Weeeeeeee! {{{{HUGS}}}}, Trac'....
from jacqueline21 :
Ha. No silly, I don't think you are sick. I think that my family dentist is super hott! And he has been my dentist since I was like 9. He must be at least 50; plus my Aunt works for him, so that makes it even wierder. Anyway... *hugs*
from foreverfairy :
Hi ya Sweetie, Thank you for all of the notes you leave me...I feel so loved!! :) LOL Yep, Jessica S. has the new line of edible powders, lip-glosses, lotions n potions. Who knows, her dad was probably right behind her to do it all! LOL The stuff just looks to be so yummy...I mean, lotion you can lick?! Let me at it!! Woooo-Hooooooo!! Hee-Hee Anyhoo, just wanted to say Hi and TY for the note. :) Have a good one! Tracy
from foreverfairy :
Whoooooooooa! You sound SWAMPED, to say the least! Keep your head on and plow on through it...you'll do fine!! :) So very, very sorry to hear of your friends Cancer...went thru cancer myself...I will certainly keep him in my prayers. Have a GREAT day... {{{HUGS}}}, Trac'...
from foreverfairy :
Hi Sweetie...thank you for the nice note you left for me. :) I LOVE notes/comments! How 'bout that Daytona race? :( I was soooo mad when Gordon won...uugh! Why him of all drivers?! LOL But, at least Busch didn't win. That's ok, our guys will do somethin' good in Cali. this Sunday. :) Hey, that is so cool that you like Awesome Bill, too! I loved hearing that. I signed your guestbook. I didn't see that you had one before or I would have signed it sooner. I have one too, but haven't checked it yet. LOL Anyhoo, hope you find an interesting class or two to fill your hours. I don't have any good suggestions for ya though..yet! LOL Have a great day! {{{HUGS}}}, Tracy
from annachan :
hey thanks for that entry (sorry for the late response). that makes me feel better about the whole situation you are in. as long as you know what you're getting yourself into (and both of you seem to know) i'm relaly happy for you. good luck conceiving and have fun ;)
from jacqueline21 :
Hey hon! Thanks for the note:) I just read your entry, and wanted to say a few things: 1.I totally understand what it feels like to have trust issues as a result of sh*tty things happening. I am not sure if the insecurity ever goes away. The key is to find someone who can understand that these issues are there, and may always be a part of you! It sounds to me like you found a pretty great guy. And... 2.I personally never got a negative picture of your boy from your diary. To me it sounds like a woman venting about things... which I do all the time. I think it is totally ok to get those things out in the open. ANYWAY, just wanted to encourage you a little and let you know that I think you seem like a great person, and if you decide to have a little one, I know the baby will have great parents who aren't afraid to disagree and work out their problems. Wow... rambling. Bye hon! *hugs*
from foreverfairy :
Awww Sweetie, you are too damned cute for words!! LOL (Thank you for the GREAT note by the way, it MADE my morning!!!) I love your diary...it's like NASCAR fan (YEAH!), comic strip (very funny), porn show (you go girl!!!), nurturing love scene (awww!) and a detailed script of love in full bloom! :) Gotta love ya!! :) Forever Fairy aka Tracy :)
from annachan :
hey are you married to him? i don't think you are but i'm not sure. if you're not married to him, are you sure that having a baby is a good idea? sometimes by reading your diary, i get confused about whether your relationship is all that stable. i don't want to sound like a judgemental friend or anything, but if you do have a baby and yuo're not a family that would really suck for the baby and you shouldn't just decide that you want to get married because you have a child now. that's kinda what my mom went through. my parents conceived me in june and then got married in july and my mom thinks about divorcing him all the time but stays together because of me and my brother...
from foreverfairy :
I cmae across your diary from a random link from one of my diaryrings, so I thought I'd take a peek. :) A very interesting read! And you being a NASCAR fan is a plus! (Go Kasey & Jr.)..I can't wait for the 500 on Sunday!! Anyhoo, I'm gonna add you to my favorites....I like what you have to say and the relationship with the boy sounds like something I just recently went through.... :) F.F.
from annachan :
you should record it... or have your boy or your friend record it if you can't... or get Tivo. haha.
from annachan :
if you feel that way about him, you should tell him. you shouldn't keep negative thoughts like that in your head. it will weight you down. you might be surprised as to how he acts if you tell him it bothers you.
from krazieespy :
ha ha.. shave your leg thing cracked me up.. Sorry abotu the whole "driving on the interstate" thing.. Just looka t it as a good cause though as seeing your daughter.. I hope it works out :\
from nygprincess :
Happy belated Valentine's Day to you. I hope you and the boy had a good one. I'm not really sure if there is technically such a thing as an exploding brain, but with some of the things I've heard of, I wouldn't be surprised if there was, LOL.
from krazieespy :
hi im so excited for NASCAR. Go 6 :) Im sad its his last year :(
from nygprincess :
Ok, so you probably won't get this in time, but here goes---blood through the heart. If we start off with the right atrium, deoxygenated blood flows through the tricuspid (aka AV valve) valve into the right ventricle. Gets pumped out of the right ventricle into the pulmonary artery which leads to lungs where it can be oxygenated. It comes out of the lungs via the pumonary vein into the left atrium, through the mitral valve (aka bicuspid valve) into the left ventricle where it gets pumped into the aorta to the systemic circulation. Hope it helps, LOL. Good luck with your bio test, you can do it!!!! Kick some ass, hehe. Anyway, I see myself the same way as you, I don't think I'll ever settle down, even though I want it so bad. I just think I'm doomed to be alone forever because I'm so messed up.
from annachan :
haha thanks for yuor comment. i'm going to try the coloring book thing. that sounds fun and something i think eric would like. you're so lucky that you get to fall asleep talking to anthony... i wish i could do that with eric because i love it when he holds me and i'm just so content... *sigh* lucky you.
from nygprincess :
If you're sad, there is nothing wrong with seeing a pyschologist, I think I need to see one myself. :\ You'll be able to catch up with school, don't worry. You just have to block everything else out. I know that is hard, because I should be studying more and I spend way too much time online. Glad things are going good with you and Anthony. You two sound so cute!
from lanienaked :
sorry for the confusion sarah, this is annachan ;)
from lanienaked :
yeah... he always amazes me in the most unexpected way.
from annachan :
Hehe. I'm glad things worked out well :) the ending of your entry made me laugh. very discriptive. aha
from jacqueline21 :
Hey hon... sorry to hear that things are not going so well. I wish there was something cheery I could say to cheer you up! Oh... by the way. I am locking my diary, and I know that you read it sometimes, so, if you would like the password, just email me @ [email protected]. K. Hope things get better!
from nygprincess :
Sorry to hear things are so stressed between you and Anthony right now. I know how hard it is, but you really have to tell him what is going on. If you keep holding it in, you're just going to end up pushing him away. Trust me, it is better to get this stuff out in the open, so you guys can move on and be happy. The last thing you want is to not tell him whats going on, and have things get to the point where they can't be fixed. Who wants to live with regret like that? Things are going pretty good with me and the internet guy for the most part. I really like him, but I am so so so so so so scared of meeting him. We are meeting on Feb 19th, so hopefully it goes well. I wonder if it was smart of me to get myself so emotionally attached, because now I'm freaking out then he's not gonna like me when we meet. But at the same time I know I have to meet him, or else I'll regret it and always wonder 'what if'? And we both know that regret sucks, and neither one of us want to live life that!! So talk to the boy! And while drowning your sadness in Jack is very helpful during the short term, its probably not so good longterm. :)
from nygprincess :
Hey, you!! I can't believe that evil girl kept calling you his roommate! And I can't believe he didn't correct her, but it sure sounds like he made up for it in other ways, lol. I just wanted to thank you for the message ya left me, you don't know how much I needed to hear that. Things with him have gotten so intense, and out of fear I'm starting to think sabotaging thoughts, lol. Your message made me calm down, and probably prevented me from screwing up royally with him. So thank you, I appreciate it! Have fun racing your alien thingys. Everytime I go into walmart, I come out with tons of stuff that I never planned on buying when I walked in the store. :)
from nygprincess :
Hey, it is so great to see you back. I'm so so happy for you right now, it sounds like everything is going so great for ya. Glad to hear your holidays were awesome. And of course I'll help ya out with the arteries and veins stuff, just let me know what ya need to know. I'm so glad you are back, I've definitely missed reading your updates.
from dreamer2003 :
Hey again Sar!! I just read your entry. Aww! You and Anth are simply amazing. :) I am glad you two are so happy together. You both are an adorable couple. I'm so sorry to hear about his dad though. :( He's in my thoughts and prayers of course. I'm glad you enjoyed your time with your daughter too and for the most part had a great holiday. =) Yes, I can tell that you love him a whole lot. I hope school goes well for you!! Where did you read that I'm working? I didn't update about it. But yep, I have a job. It's nice to make money, I must say. Have a great week, doll!! <333 *hugs*
from darkksyd :
Oh we will, we will...welcome back to the net. Catch up to ya later...
from dreamer2003 :
SARAH!!! HEY! I hope all is going well with you too. I've missed you and been thinking about you lately. I'm glad you got your internet back. :) I hope that your holidays went well! My christmas and new year's were just fine, thank ya for asking hon. Nate is fine too. We're still going strong. =) How are you and the boy? Let me know what's been going on. I haven't been on diaryland in AGES! Love ya too, darlin! *BIG HUGS*
from krazieespy :
welcome back :)
from krazieespy :
Happy 2005. I hope things are going well!
from nygprincess :
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I have to temporarily lock my diary, because there is someone who I dont' want to have access to it. I'll either let you know the password or what my new name is as soon as I can. Hope you had a great Christmas, girly!
from cinamonjaide :
Hi Since you are on my buddy list, I figured I would give you the link to my message board community. It's a laid back place with a few online friends. You are welcomed to join if you want. If not, that's fine, but I wanted to extend the invitation and let you know you would be welcomed. Here is the addy: http://groups.msn.com/ShovemeintheshallowwaterbeforeIgettoodeep
from nygprincess :
I'm sooooo sorry I haven't gotten back to ya lately. Things have been kind of hectic and I haven't been around as much. Your entry just totally made me smile though. Sounds like things are going great for you, and I'm really happy for you. Have a great Christmas!!!
from jacqueline21 :
Have a happy holiday! {P.S. What is the frog's name?}
from krazieespy :
ohh of course im going to read ya :) I got your christmas card too.. OOOO have fun in LA I love LA. I wish I could go there again.
from cinnamon1j :
Not having the internet stinks!!!! How old is your daughter?
from cinamonjaide :
I just learned that you can get into my diary by typing my username cinamonjaide and then use the password jaide. I thought I could only add 9 people, but you can use my user name to view my journal. Feel free.
from dreamer2003 :
Woo hoo! Yay for being finished with finals and everything. :) I'm sure you did well. It seems like you have a lot to look forward to. That's awesome. =D Enjoy the rest of your week, sweets. Love ya! xoxo
from krazieespy :
ohh. How sweet. snuggling. thats the ONLY reason I miss having a boyfriend. someone to sleep with at night :(
from krazieespy :
ohh. How sweet. snuggling. thats the ONLY reason I miss having a boyfriend. someone to sleep with at night :(
from dreamer2003 :
LOL awwww...grrr to males and their charms!! That's how it is with Nate...I can't stay mad at him for long. He's just too irresistable to me. haha. Anyway, haha..yes, i'm just a cracker. I'm Austrian, German, Polish, and Russian. You are most definitely a mutt! Oh wow, if me and Nate ever had kids they would be very much mixed. Nate is mainly a Pima and Hopi. Hopefully you'll have your net access for awhile!! Have a great week, hon. xoxo <333
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon! Aww..yay for being productive. :) Nate is also Native American and part Mexican. Me? I'm just a plain ole white girl. lol. I hope you find that movie!! Anywho, enjoy the rest of your weekend chica. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
That's ok!! I was just playing around. I wrote you another note yesterday I think so check that out when you have the chance. :) I'm going to mail your card out soon too. Probably next week. I know..that is strange. As I said in my last note, I think backup birth control would be a great idea. It would make him feel a lot better about having sex. I think it's worth a shot. Anyway, merry christmas if you're not back online by that time!!! Have a great weekend. Love ya much! *HUGS*
from cinamonjaide :
I have a new diary now. Please check it out and add me to your list. I read your journal when I can.
from nygprincess :
Sorry to hear that you are so stressed out. I would definitely sit him down and talk to him about the sex thing. Not to pry, but if you aren't already, you might wanna consider birth control pills. If you're on the pill, plus you use a condom, there risk of pregnancy is very very very very small. Tell him Dr. Kristen said so!!! LOL. Actually, never mind, if you do get pregnant he might wanna sue me. Hehe. I don't blame you for being upset about not having sex. Not to sound shallow, but I think it is a very important part of any relationship. It definitely brings a couple closer together, but I can understand his fears. And I also understand the feeling like you are "fucked up." I feel that way all the time. Just try to take some time for yourself. It sounds like you are really busy taking care of everything, and sometimes that stress can really get to you. If I don't hear from you for awhile, have a great Christmas. I personally think I'm gonna try to stay off the net as well. I feel really down about that guy. I really need to concentrate on school, ya know. Take care of yourself! Kristen.
from dreamer2003 :
I think you need to further speak to him about his job and let him know how horrible things would be if he quit for the both of you. You are NOT fucked up in the head. You're just upset that you and him aren't being intimate. I know that you feel badly about not being able to contribute financially but you do in other ways and plus you do have school that takes up a lot of your time. Basically, I think it's all about that you're not getting what you want...in bed, when it comes to cleaning, etc. You have every right to be frustrated. He really does need to put in an effort to help you out more. Maybe you should go on a backup form of birth control so this way you'll be even less likely to get pregnant? I think that would make him feel better about it. It's NOT your fault..you're doing what you can and I know he's more than happy to have you with him. As I said, you both have a lot on your mind right now. Once all settles down everything will be so much better between the two of you. I'll miss you if you'll be gone!!! Take care sweetie and hang in there. *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
You copycat! You did a list just like me. lol. j/k, it's all good. :) I pray that you don't go insane and that you get your essays done. Anyway, the boy's dad is still very much in my thoughts and prayers. Oh wow, you're going to see your daughter so soon. That's very cool!! I'm happy for ya. I'm sorry about the no sex. Obviously I'm not getting any either so I feel your pain. Maybe he just has a lot on his mind and is not in the mood for sex? I don't know but I doubt it has anything to do with him not wanting you. It's NOT you. I just think that he's stressed out. I have your x mas card written out so I'll send that to ya soon. Talk to Anth..find out what is going on and tell him that if the case really is that he's worried about having kids right now, tell him that he should wear a condom. I hope things get better for you and the boy soon, hon. Hang in there! Love ya!! *HUGS*
from nygprincess :
Of course you can have my address, I'll send you an email. I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. *cough*youneedaupdate*cough*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey doll! I should be sending it out to you fairly soon whenever I get my hands on some stamps. Awwww, thank you!! That's not necessary but very sweet of you. =) I'm SURE I'll love it. I can't wait for your card too. My thanksgiving was fine. I hope yours went well! I'm looking forward to your update. Take care. Love ya too! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hey darlin! Haha, yep...I thought it was about time for a picture post. Thank you, hon!!! Happy Thanksgiving to you too!! I hope you have a great one. Love ya much! Thank you for your friendship. =) <333
from nygprincess :
The end of the entry made me say, "Awwwww" really loud in a room by myself. LOL!! Seriously, it sounds like you had a fantastic weekend, and I'm really happy for you. If I don't get online in the next couple of days, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving!!
from dreamer2003 :
Awwwww, what a beautiful entry. :) I am beyond happy that you guys had such an amazing weekend together. I'm glad that the boy's family embraced you and made you feel welcome. See, I told you that Anth would say that his family is your family too. :) That's all so awesome to read. I'm excited for you, Sar...You're going to have a wonderful future with him. Have a great week, darlin!! ♥
from nygprincess :
Oh, and yoga is great!! It teaches you how to relax and breathe, and makes you stretch in all of these strange positions, which can definitely come in handy at other times, if ya catch my drift. :)
from nygprincess :
It is pretty cool to feel around in someone's organs, isn't it? hehe. Happy belated b-day to Anthony. Glad you guys had a nice day.
from dreamer2003 :
Hey doll! Aww, I am glad that Anth had a good birthday and that you guys got to spend lots of time together. :D You're an awesome girlfriend! Sorry to hear about the headaches. :( I've had one all day...gosh, they suck! I hope you feel better soon. Awww..well, 6 years is pretty far off. You're still young. :) That's true, it's only a number. How you feel is more important. Well, then..you and the boy need to get on that, if you know what I mean. heheh. Yep, I will do that. Well, I'll most likely end up mailing the gifts to him this year. Have a great day, Sar. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Yep, Nate's b-day is on Dec 19. Not the best time to have a birthday because christmas is only 6 days after that. I don't know if I should combine his birthday and christmas gifts or give them on separate occasions. If I'm not mistaken last year I gave him b-day gifts on his b-day and x mas gifts on x mas. Wow, haha..that's funny that Anth's b-day is on the 19th and so is Summer's. I reminded Nate that his b-day is almost a month away and he got kinda depressed cos he's turning 28. lol. He feels like he's an old man. Poor thing. He's not in a big college though..he's in a small college which is the strange thing. hmm. Aww, thanks. I will definitely send you a card too!! You're on my list. I just have to buy them. Those were some nice presents for the boy! He's lucky to have you. :) Have a good one too. Love ya! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon! Wow, I don't know how you do it..look at dead bodies. It's not for me but it's cute to see how excited you were. :) Yeah, death always does put life into perspective..plus it's almost thanksgiving so it's putting people in a more positive mood overall. A week off? That's great. Nate only gets thanksgiving off. Poor guy. :( I'll be praying for Anth's dad, of course. He's in my thoughts as well. Happy b-day to the boy and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! Congrats. :) You just reminded me..Nate's b-day is in exactly a month from today. I should start thinking of what to get him but I have no idea yet. Our anniversary is coming up too..on sunday. Aww, grandbabies. :) I'd love an xmas card as always..hehe. I will send you one too. =D Take care, Sar. xoxo
from nygprincess :
I've noticed during my years in school that English teachers tend to be bitches. I hate English. Sucks that you have to rewrite the paper. I am happy to hear things are going great between you and Anthony. I'm going to predict a Valentine's day proposal. Hehe. And I know I haven't written in awhile, but I've been feeling kinda down, and just not in the mood to write, ya know? I haven't switched names yet, mainly cause I'm lazy. But if and when I do, I'll definitely let ya know the new name. Thanks for the note though! Oh, and it's about time ya updated, don't leave us hanging so long for an update. ;)
from dreamer2003 :
Hey ya hon! I'm sorry about the essay thing. :( That truly sucks. I'm sure you'll be able to pull that off in two weeks though. I'm glad that you and the boy are getting along great. :) Yes, you are wonderful!! He is lucky to have you. It's just awesome seeing you talk about a future with him. Ah, I am sure it is very exciting for you. I think he'll propose sometime within next year but who the heck knows. Aww, that's ok! I'm not really expecting responses. I write mostly for me to get things out and if people respond..then great!! Things have been better with me. I've been in such a good, positive mood lately until last night. My dad was in a lousy mood and so obviously a lot of fighting commenced. It was one huge screaming match and it's always about the same fricking topics. I can't stand it. He repulses me. Other than the stupid fighting and job searching daily, I'm ok. Nate and I are doing good. I wish I could be with him for thanksgiving but I WILL be with him next year no matter what. :) Take care, hon. Love you!! xoxo
from krazieespy :
UR welcome.. Emailing ya the info now :)
from krazieespy :
hey babe... I changed my username and password for iluvxtina.. so email me/note me with UR email address so I can send you the new one... someone from my area was reading it YIKESSS!!! :\
from nygprincess :
Hey!! I hate when people drive really slow and don't get out of the damn fast lane as well. Good that you put that ass in his place. I don't understand why men are so messy all the time. It almost seems to me they have a messy gene encoded in their DNA. I just read the previous entry too, and even if he's going to college it doesn't mean you two can't work it out. Have faith, it is very obvious that you both love each other. And I am changing my diary over, and as soon as I finish doing it, I'll leave ya a note with my new name.
from dreamer2003 :
LOL Sarah, you are the biggest badass around! What you did to that guy in the trans am is HILARIOUS!!! hahaha. Congrats on your scholarship! You totally deserve it. :) That was nice of Anth to clean...then again he knew you weren't giving in so he had no other choice. You go girl!! You're on fire. haha. Anyway, thanks doll. Yesterday was ok too and so far today seems to be going alright. Tuesday was just not my day at all. I can believe how shitty they acted. They truly suck. In a way I give my mom props though because she did say to my dad "Yeah, I know you don't give a damn about the cat but Stacey is very attached to him." She told me that she said that to him when I walked out of the house. I'm not sure if she did or not though. It's so hard not to be attached to a pet. No prob..and thanks! :) Eh, all is ok with Nate and I. He's sick again. He needs extra rest so we won't be talking this morning. I understand completely though. Take care, hon. xoxo
from krazieespy :
for funny.. I think that is hilarious because I use to do that too, HA HA.. im still laughing.. girls kick ass :)
from dreamer2003 :
:( I'm sorry about your english midterm. Hopefully you can have that chance to improve your grade. Awww..I know what you mean. Nate and I have two totally different families too. Mine is so dysfunctional and his family is great..pretty loving and sweet. I hope I'll be a part of it someday and who knows..you just might be a part of Anth's family too. Who knows what the future holds. I think once you're absolutely certain of the direction that your relationship with Anth will take then you can enjoy having a close relationship with Anth's parents. I hope things work out for you guys. You guys are so cute and if you two broke up it would be a very sad world. I'm glad you'll get to see your girl. :) That's awesome. Hang in there, hon. Love ya. xoxo
from wngsparadise :
vote for bush!!!!!!!!!! hehehehe =)
from dreamer2003 :
Oh gosh..I know what you mean. I can't stand Bush's smugness and arrogance. Grrr. I want to wipe that damn smirk off of his face at times. I'm frightened of the direction that our country will be heading in in the next 4 years. I just hope things progress instead of regress. My consolation is that we'll have a new president in 4 years. :) I'm sorry about your sociology test. It must have been tough. :( Hopefully you can boost your score up somehow. At least you aced your Bio test. :) Take care and have a good day..and ohh..I WILL get around to e-mailing you soon. Love ya! xoxo
from nygprincess :
Ok, that entry almost brought tears to my eyes. (It also made me realize that I need to get some and soon, hehe.) I am so happy for the two of you, it sounds like you guys are in a really awesome place. And wow, that was the edited version, huh? I'm kinda glad you didn't get into more descriptive detail, because some of us single girls reading your diary are frustrated enough already. LOL. Anyway, congrats to Anthony for passing his GED. You should both be proud of yourselves for going back to college, it is really hard to do it once you've been out of HS for awhile.
from dreamer2003 :
Aww, yeah D-land does screw up sometimes. =/ Awww...thank you. I will definitely fill you in when I have the chance. I'm always here for you too. Thank you...I hope so too. Thanks, hon! If you'd like some more candy (which you probably don't since you ARE giving some away) then let me know. Take care and have a good one. <333
from dreamer2003 :
lol if that was the edited version, I don't want to know about the unedited one. haha. That's great. :) you really deserve all of the happiness and love that you are receiving. I wish some happiness would come my way. :( Thanks, hon. I'm going to eventually getting around to e-mailing you about it so you will know what's going on whether you want to know about it or not. lol. Aw, actually..you and anth are MY inspiration. :) Ugh..I highly, HIGHLY doubt we'll be together for christmas now. I'm not moving there this month either...long story which will be in the e-mail that I send. Yeah, things could be better. :( but I think everything will be ok in the end too. Really? yikes!! We bought 3 bags of candy and no trick-or-treaters here either. I can FEEL myself putting on weight. haha. LOL..sure, if you'd like to send some candy my way I wouldn't mind it..what's a few extra pounds to add onto the ones I'm gaining? heh. That was funny! Have a great night. :) xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sarah!! I missed you. I was beginning to wonder what the heck happened. It's so nice to see you back. WOW! I have SEVEREEEE mental images of you and Anthony in bed..and um..yeah. lol. I would have been blushing so much if I had written that part about you sucking him off. I think we all got more details than we bargained for..hehe. But it is your diary and you're allowed to write about whatever you wish. =] I'm glad you've gotten more intimate and closer with the boy. I'm super, super happy for you. :) I'm sorry about the fight but glad that all worked out for you guys. Congrats to him on passing his GED!! That's awesome. Anywho, wanted to let you know that I got your halloween card in the mail yesterday. Thank you soo much..it put a smile on my face...which is something I've needed soo desperately. Take care hon. ♥
from dreamer2003 :
Well, I really need a job here first because my parents are going to give me a VERY hard time in leaving if I'm not working here for at least a little while. They will probably think that I am just taking the easy way out in leaving because they'll think when I'm out in AZ I won't be looking for a job. Plus, I want to have some money before I'm there. Yup, he's just fine now and I'm starting to slowly feel better. :) hehe, that's ok. I'm going to now comment on your entry...congrats on the A! That's great. Good luck on your bio exam!! That's nice that the boy is being considerate. :) It's such a nice change. It's good that he's trying to break his bad habits too. Sounds like a promising breakthrough. Wow, that's awesome about Summer's grades!! She's a smart one and she got that from her momma. ;) Have a good one and take care. xoxo
from krazieespy :
Good Luck On UR Test ;)
from nygprincess :
Yay, its fun to be the smart one in class. I used to be the smart one now I'm not. :( Thats cool that your daughter is doing well in class. See, smart genes run in your family!! I'd write something longer, but my brain hurts and I must get back to studying. Later.
from dreamer2003 :
AHH damn diaryland!! I didn't know that you noted me until I checked out my notes page. Diaryland never sent me an e-mail notification. *pouts* Anyway, awww..thank you! That means a lot. Your card will mean a lot because it's coming from YOU. ;) I noticed that you updated your profile. What you said about me..aww..was sooo nice. Thank you so much babe for making me smile. =] I'm glad! You deserve to be happy and it looks like that's finally happening. Thank you dear. I'm still not feeling well but the boy is feeling better. So at least one of us is. heh. I think I'll be 100% by the weekend. We talked for about a half hour this morning but I don't think we'll be talking tomorrow morning. :( oh well. That's just the way it goes. You take what you can get in a long distance relationship. I'm not so sure about it now. It might have to be pushed back because I *REALLY* need to find myself a job. When I feel better I will resume the search. I'm not doing either one actually. :( no trick or treating. (trick-or-treating isn't fun if you're doing it alone) and no passing out candy cos my parents are too damn cheap. *rolls eyes* Take care Sar and have a great night. ♥
from dreamer2003 :
Hey darlin!! Hopefully your PC stops acting up. I hope you won't be away for long!! I'd miss you too much. Progress is good..progress is great actually and it seems like Anth is making a lot of it. :) Ahhh *sighs* jealousy has come into play again after reading about you and Anth under the covers. DAMN YOU! :P lol j/k. Good luck on your midterm! You better study for your midterm tomorrow too!! haha. Good luck on that one as well. Making lists like that is wonderful..makes you realize that you really are in love and the great things our loved ones do for us. Sorry for this ramble and all my other ones. hah. Take care. <3
from nygprincess :
I, too, agree with Best buy being a store derived from Satan. Seriously, everytime I go in there, I spend loads of money. I actually won't let myself go in there now that I'm not working. And yeah...I think if you live with someone that automatically makes the relationship serious. That is really cute that he's thinking about kids and having kids with you. Guys who like children are such a turn-on. Sounds like things are going well for the two of you. :)
from dreamer2003 :
Best buy is evil!! I agree with you there. Everytime I walk out of there I feel compelled to buy something. I'd love a card but of course you don't have to send me anything. :) You have my addy if you wanna send good ole Stace a card. lol. It will put me more into the halloween spirit..heh. I am really not in it at all. :( Awww that's really cute about Anth and the baby thing..it seems like he really is serious about settling down and starting a family with you. That's awesome because I know how much you want to have more kids. He'll probably make a great daddy and you're already a great mommy. ;) See! I told you that Anthony considers you family. That's really so sweet. I think he gives a lot of hope to girls out there that not every guy is an asshole. =] I hope you have a good time at anth's parents house!! I can't believe you're already talking about christmas..it's only october!! haha. I see that you like to plan ahead. Awww, that prayer wasn't dorky..it was cute. :) I'm praying that the boy's dad will be ok too and that you pass your finals. Have a great day and take care. ♥ Love you!
from dreamer2003 :
Aww, you and the boy are adorable. :) I know I say this over and over again but it really does make me jealous reading about how affectionate you guys are and all of that. But on the other hand, I am so happy for you. I'm just going through a lot of emotions so don't mind me. lol. haha, I remember when Nate would stare at me. It drove me crazy. Not in a good way either. lol. Ah, memories. *sigh* damn loneliness! Anywho, I am proud of you for getting off of your ass and calling those mortuaries. =) Yes, let us all know about that place you mentioned that will give you clinicals. That sounds very good and promising. Good luck, hon!! I'm crossing my fingers for ya. Congrats on the phone once again. It seems that all is well in Sarah's world. =) Yeah..I don't know..it's just so tiring and so frustrating to play the waiting game..but what else can I do.haha, he is an awesome bf. I'm one lucky chica. Have a great weekend too, babe. Love you!! xoxo <3
from jacqueline21 :
Hey girl:) I added you to my profile. I really like reading your diary! Unfortunately I don't have ANY of my photography online yet, as soon as I get a webpage up and running, with a little help from a friend, I will let you know. I noticed on your profile that you enjoy the book "The Lovely Bones". I also think that book is marvelous! Although I cry every time I read it. It is quite sad. Anyway... have a good one:)
from dreamer2003 :
Congrats on the phone, Sar!! I know how much you wanted it. :) Congrats on your Bio grade! That's awesome and you deserve it. He's still mentioning baby names? hmm..I see little feet pitter pattering around Sarah in the future!! lol. The whole job front isn't looking promising whatsoever. :( *sighs* Nothing really has been going my way lately but hopefully that will change soon. LOL the fun in funeral?? Never heard that one. Sounds kinda cheesy. Thank you for the wish, darlin. =) I'm awesome when it comes to remembering important dates like that. Nate remembered too..which is so unlike a guy. lol. I hope you have a kickass day too. Love ya much! xoxo
from krazieespy :
congrats on the new kick ass phone :) its VERY COOL!
from nygprincess :
Hey!! You know what kills me--men call us women the complicated ones, but your Anthony is perfect example of how they are really the complicated ones. I think all men are genetically programmed to a)be messy, and b)go back and forth from being sweet and then frustrating, sweet and then frustrating. Hang in there though. :) The pictures were really cool. I think cemetarys can be pretty, although I kind of wouldn't want to walk in one late at night. Don't let anyone put your hobbies down though--its good to step away from conformity and do something that you find interesting. If other people don't like that--well that is their problem, not yours. And I'm not sure what is going on with the cop. His schedule is very crazy, and so is mine. We've hung out three times so far, and I like him, but I'm not really in a rush with him. Anyway, have fun at school. If you need any anatomy help when you start it, lemme know. I'm the queen of anatomy. hehe.
from jacqueline21 :
I think your pictures of the cemetary are wonderful. (I also enjoy taking photographs in cemetaries. I usually use black and white.) I loved the contrast of the fall colors and the gray tombstones in yours! Also, I think your template is fabulous!
from darkksyd :
Hey you...don't even trip about what your mom and everyone else thinks about your excursion to the cemetary. You do your thing. I'll bet that for every person that puts ya down about it, there's someone wishing they could have gone with you...like me! :) I totally dug the pics too...my fave was the one that was kind of set into the side of the hill, I think pic 10 from the top, but almost all of them I found good. Ya know what? Here's sumthin I think you might enjoy...I oughta go down to the cemetary here that I was tellin ya about and snap a few pics and send 'em to ya...would you like that? It's not as big as the cemetary you went to, but there is some seriously kick ass stuff in there. Alright, lemme know, and I'll catch up to ya later. Bye...
from dreamer2003 :
Ooh rain! lucky girl. Strangely enough we haven't gotten rain in awhile. It's a nice change from all of the rain we got, but still..I do miss it. Oh well. I'm glad you enjoyed your visit at the cemetary. :) You're not strange!! She just said that because she doesn't understand..ah well..you can be into whatever you want of course. If it makes you happy, that's all that should matter. I'm sorry to hear that about the boy. :( I thought you guys were on the road to improvement. He thinks ONE time is going to make a difference..I think you're going to have another talk to let him know that helping out ONE time isn't good enough. You'd think he'd already know that. Men are so clueless sometimes. I hope things get better..and STAY better for a long time. I called one of the agenices..they said they have nothing available for me. :( Of course. I guess they'll call when something comes up. I'm not even going to bother calling the other place because I screwed up pretty badly on those tests I did. I just have to keep putting myself out there and looking until something comes up. Aggravating, yes but i'm not giving up. Well, I won't get to talk to Nate today. :( We haven't spoken since yesterday morning and that was for only like 15 mins cos he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. *Sigh* I miss him so much. But anyway, have a good one today, hon!! Love ya and take care. xoxo
from krazieespy :
GOOD GOD is right.. That is fricken nuts and are you an ebay junkie or what? HA HA just kidding.. Its 230 and for once iM actually tired so Im gonna take advantage of this situation.. Night Girl XO!
from dreamer2003 :
I'm so jealous. *tear tear* I'm feeling especially lonely today..needing the boy's touch and cuddles and of course..I can't receive it. :( I'm sorry about your trip falling through and you not feeling well. :( I hope you feel better soon!! I also hope that you guys get to go to Ohio next weekend. Aww, that's a good sign when the guy brings up baby names. :D Do you have anyone around you that you can leave the dog with?? You'll get next christmas with Anth..and the one after that..and the one after that. You get the gist. :) lol. It is crazy how days are just flying by. At least you know you won't be alone for the holidays. That is sweet of Anth to pay for someplace that you can stay at during the winter. Awwww. ALL men are like that..TRUST me. haha. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. The difference is, some men show their loving sides more than others. heh. I'm glad you're keeping yourself warm!! You need the heater right now while we need the a/c..how strange. hahahaha..I think the polar bear would probably attack us. =/ Nate and I have been talking lately..luckily. Job hunt sucks..no agencies have called back yet. I am going to call 2 of the agencies I went to tomorrow to find out what's going on. Not hearing from them is obviously a bad thing. =/ I hope I hear some good news soon. Thanks for asking, hon. :) Take care and have a great week. <33
from nygprincess :
Hey, girlie!! I just spent the last couple minutes catching up on your entries. Glad to hear that school is going good for ya. And yay, you like Biology. I love Biology. :) Its interesting to hear about the mortuary school thing, definitely quite different from what I'm doing. I'll be the one to save 'em, and when I don't, I'll send 'em to you, hehe.
from dreamer2003 :
lol yes..I've never heard of a woman complaining of her boyfriend being extra loving and affectionate. Grr, I'm jealous..I wish I could cuddle with Nate. :( hahaha..I'd love to snuggle up with a polar bear too. Have fun in Ohio, hon!! Take care. Again, stay warm! Much love. ♥
from dreamer2003 :
Polar bears are adorable!! I love them too. :) It is nice out..very comfortable and pleasant. Ugh, but starting monday, the temps are going to go back into the mid 80's. :( Brr is right. If you do go out, make sure to bundle up of course. =) Maybe Anth will keep you warm? ;)
from dreamer2003 :
Yeah, I see your point..if they do expect to receive perfect scores on every test, then they are idiots though. The weather here is going to be WONDERFUL this weekend. We had a cold front coming through..just for the weekend though. :( It was in the low 60's this morning and is only supposed to make it to around 80 today. Beautiful weather..I'm going to go out later, to take advantage of it and enjoy it while it lasts. It's soo comfy. :D really? Awww..I'm sorry that it's so cold. :( Come to FL!! lol. Well, stay warm hon!! just think of an island or someplace else warm. hehe. Take care and have a great weekend. <33 Love you too!!
from dreamer2003 :
I'd be so happy if I receieved a perfect score on a pretty pointless test but that is me. *shrugs* It least it brings your grade and average up. :) How can someone be turned on by a dead body? I don't understand that. lol. Enjoy your experience at the cemetary if you decide to go! Aww, I hope he can go with you..I would if I lived near there. His mom will get over it I'm sure. She knows you care about her. Take care hon and have a great night. <3
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon! Ah yes, I was watching the weather channel (Yes, I'm a TOTAL dork) lol..and I saw that you guys have been getting a lot of rain lately. lol hahaha..awww..gosh, they seem to be overloading you with so much schoolwork! yikes. I am not looking forward to that aspect about going to school. Have a good day hon and a good one tomorrow. Ohhh..and I'm glad you're feeling better. :) Thanks!! I totally appreciate that! I like my phone a lot. Love ya too! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Awww, hon. :( I hope you're feeling better! That whole puking bit does not sound like any fun. I'm sorry to hear about that whole ordeal that you went through as well. :( But on the upside, at least you're going to get your new phone very soon. =] I hope today is better for you!! Take care, Sar and feel good. xoxoxo
from krazieespy :
Im sorry that you feel shitty. It must be going around the states.. It sucks. I hate it. I hope you get better soon :) CUTE FISHES :)
from dreamer2003 :
:( I'm sorry to hear that you're having a "blah day." I hope it gets better as it goes along or that tomorrow is a better day for you. I hope you feel better soon too. I have a Nokia 3100..the service is through Cingular. If you are able to find me some ringtones, I'd be forever grateful!! i'm glad you found your phone. :) Love you too, hon. <3
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon. I've been ok, thanks for asking. :) I'm glad to hear that you're doing well!! I've missed you too. Ooh..ringtones, eh? I want some! All I have are the basic ones. I tried to get a cool, music ringtone and I wasn't able to. :( I hope you can find another nice phone soon. I'm so sorry to hear about your fish dying. :( Those poor fish!! I don't blame you for skipping out on going with Anth to see his parents..I'd feel awkward about it too. I'm so glad you're getting to go to LA for christmas! At least you won't be alone for the holidays and you'll get to be with Summer. :) It sucks though that the boy won't go with you. :( It was nice of him though to give you those things. Well anyway, I better be going..have lots to do. Have a great day, darlin! xoxo
from lesbfriends6 :
Its okay! That person is just way too serious about herself. She took my census and didn't notice that it only only only applies to girls who like girls in a sexual way. so I joked around with her... obviously not the right thing to do... way to serious... Well I hope you have a nice day!
from dreamer2003 :
:( Aww, that's ok! there's always a next time. ;) I know you'll win next time. I'm eating soon..mmm..FOOD! lol. haha. I always neglect myself due to the computer. what an evil machine! keeps me from eating, etc. lol. Have a great weekend too. <333
from lesbfriends6 :
I don't mind at all! Thanks I shall add you as well. Hope you have a great day!
from dreamer2003 :
I hope you won!! You're an evil chica. lol j/k. I'm glad your car is now fixed. :) Ahh it's so nice when a guy (even when you're taken) flirts with you..it does make you see that you're still desirable in other guys eyes. Anyhoo, I have to go now..must eat before I faint but I wanted to write you to let you know that I'm always reading you (your entries that is.) :D Have a fabulous weekend, Sar!! xoxoxo
from krazieespy :
ha ha did you win?
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! awww, that's ok. I am SO SORRY about not commenting on your last entry. :( When I was reading it, I was so overwhelmed with everything that happened during the day (with the interview) so I had this huge headache at the time and just decided to sign off. Yeah, he's supposed to be online now..he hasn't come on yet but I'm waiting patiently..as always. haha. Aww, thanks! I hope you're right. I'm going to another agency today--I just hope that it doesn't provide me with *ANOTHER* headache. heh. *hugs back* ♥ you too. Have a great day!!
from darkksyd :
Hey you...have I mentioned yet how much I dig your layout? It's been a while since I left ya a note here, but just wanted to say that I never get tired of looking at the layout. Hope everything with your car is going well this morning; as for me, I'm gonna crawl back into bed like the dead zombie person I am this morning, lol. Even after taking your advice yesterday, which, btw, was VERY nice, if you'd like to know, I STILL have that friggin headache. At least my face-2-face interview is over. GAHAHA, I hate stress, even my chest is like tight and stuff. I'm gonna try & update later, got a lot to write about, but so little time to even take a breath it seems...oh well. I'm outta here. Catch up to ya later...
from wngsparadise :
ha ha ha ha.... i have squishy love. That's sickenly cute you know? oh i laugh at myself =)
from krazieespy :
ha ha some bitch in idaho.. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! That poor poor girl :)
from krazieespy :
Thank you for the note and you werent rambling... I wouldn't be able to call him and tell him any of this because, its just how I am. I feel if he wanted to be with me badly enough he would call me.. He hasn't so therefore he doesnt care that I came home. I look at things now and I WISH I WISH! I could go back and make things different, but I can't so I have to live with that.. People say you have to do something in order to wonder "what if" well I did and Im still going to be wondering "what if" Life is a mystery.. It just amazes me....! Thanks for the note :)
from dreamer2003 :
Awww, I know..thanks. I guess the loneliness is just a huge part of missing Nate. We haven't been talking all that much and I just miss him. He's been busy and I'm starting to become busy too with job searching. Ugh. Anyway, thanks..I appreciate that. :) I know you're here for me like I'm always here for you as well. I hope Anth's mood improves soon! It's never fun to deal with someone in a pissy mood..especially someone that you live with. I don't get why Anth acts like he doesn't care about his parents..it makes no sense. As for the fact that you don't want to get too close to his family, that's totally understandable. When you break up with someone, you also end up breaking up with their family as well..which is just as hard especially when you've grown very close to them. I guess when you're SURE that you're going to be with Anth for a long time, then you can really allow yourself to be close with his family. Congrats on the new phone!! Woo hooo! Anyway, take care darlin. Love you! <33
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon! Wow...sounds like you had an awesome night. lol. I'm so happy that things are going better for the both of you. I truly hope that it lasts..heh. Ah ok..I was saying to myself "How MEAN of her to leave us all just hanging like that!" lol. I thought you did it on purpose. Glad to know you didn't. :) I'm really so happy for you once again. I hope school goes well for ya this week! and yes..I am lonely. :( *sigh* Oh well. My weekend pretty much sucked..but that's the trend of my life lately. hah. Take care babe. Love ya! xoxo
from nygprincess :
Wow...sounds like YOU had a good night, eh? *winkwink* I'm happy things are going better for the two of you. Much better by the way you described it. :) See, this is why I think that sex is way more important to a relationship than most women want to admit. Good sex can fix alot of problems..hehe..or at least make them seem not so big. Have fun at school today.
from krazieespy :
i hope everything works out for you two... It will. If something is meant to be, I believe it will find a way.. :)
from nygprincess :
Awww. I'm so sorry to hear that things aren't going so great. I really hope everything works out for the both of you, its obvious that you both care. Even if you have to move, you can still make it work. You guys made it work online for so long, you can make it work living an hour or two away. I really hope everything works out for ya.
from dreamer2003 :
Awwww hon. :( I'm sorry that the talk didn't go very well. I guess he was probably just really surprised and that you took him off guard. If you do move out, it doesn't mean that you guys are over or anything of course. He has to understand that the drive is too much for you. I think it would be for the best though because your schooling needs to come first. Once you're done, then you can go back and live with him again I guess. If your love for each other is strong, then you will make it no matter what happens. All I know is, if things continue this way for you you're just going to start to become even more burnt out. :( There really is no other way. I think you guys will be just fine. I'm a lonely shmuck right now. heh. :( But anyway, I wish you guys lots of luck and all of the best! grrr you just HAD to leave us all hanging in the end of your entry there. lol. I can't wait to read the rest. Take care hon. Love ya! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Awww, I hope you'll be able to afford a trip down to LA during Christmas. I know how badly you'd love to see your daughter. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that SOMEONE comes to their senses and hires you. If not, it's their loss. Just keep trying though..that's all you can really do. That would be so sad if you spent the holidays all alone. :( at least be with anthony's family..at least you'll have him around and you won't be by yourself. Who knows..one day you just might be a part of their family. :) I'll probably be that lonely shmuck. lol. Anyway, I hope you have a great weekend hon!! Love you!! xoxo
from nygprincess :
Oh, fun. Homework!!! I feel for ya, thats the good thing about med school, while ya have to study your ass off, you don't have much actual homework. The drive does sound really sucky, I don't know if I could do it everyday. Have fun with your dissection. :)
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sarah! Thank you so much, darlin. :) I've just been feeling lately like I have no one around to count on or anything but I know it's not true. I just can't help but feel that way sometimes. Well, I sure hope no one thinks I'm being a bad friend!! I'd feel horrible if anyone thought that. Aww, that's cute. :) I think I'll give my paper diary a whirl tonight. It just might be therapeutic. I know that you're there for me. :D That goes both ways. I love ya too. *hugs back* <3
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! :) Heh, I don't blame you for skipping today..I'd do the same thing. You have a perfectly logical reason for it. I'm glad you got to see some nice scenery. :D I can understand..the layouts on LJ ARE a bit hard to understand which is why I had someone make mine for me. lol. Awww, it's cute to see you so excited about dissecting and all of that. Thanks hon..well, it's emotional crappy and also physically crappy. :( It sucks so much. But i'm sure i'll be ok. Love you too. <3
from dreamer2003 :
Aww, I remember all of that intro stuff in school. I absolutely despised it. It's only for now though..just routine crap that you start off with. I hope your classes go well today! You're welcome, hon. :) I had to include you even though you don't write in your LJ anymore. lol. Thank you. =D It should come in about a week..maybe less. Right now I just feel too crappy..in fact, I'm about to go and lie down soon. Yeah, I'm sure you probably think that you sound like a broken record to him. I guess he just doesn't understand women and their feelings and needs. You have to school him on it. haha. But he'll learn in time and he'll be better. Love ya too, darlin. xoxo
from krazieespy :
im back and Im slowly catching up. Have fun with y our two classes tomorrow!
from dreamer2003 :
Aww, I hope school went well today and I hope it does go well for you. That does sound like a crappy drive but as you said, at least you can explore the city. As for you and Anth..god, I don't blame you for feeling that way. He just doesn't seem to get it that you want more quality time with him. You don't need to make any decision on the house thing yet though..it seems like you have a long time to think about that. Just go with your heart and with your guts. You might need to have another talk with Anthony..I don't know if he meant for it to come out the way it did but it still hurt you and you need to address that. Anyway, I'm ok. :) It was really scary but I survived. :D Love ya too, darlin. <3
from nygprincess :
That drive does sound horrible. When you have tests, you could bring tapes of the lecture and listen in your car if you've got a tape player. You'll get used to the drive soon though, and then it wont feel as bad.
from nygprincess :
The sad face is because I'm just frustrated. Seriously frustrated. I feel like I always want to talk to him, but that he doesn't always want to talk to me. And it sucks wanting someone more than they want you. So now I'm beginning to think that what you said about your experience with Victor, is probably right, and I'm just wanting this guy to be different. I don't even know why I'm allowing the situation to get to me so much, I don't have time for a guy right now anyway. Anyway, good luck with the start of school. I'm really excited for ya and I know you are gonna do great. And sorry that I ranted in your note section, but I'm just upset.
from dreamer2003 :
lol hehehehe. I thought I'd catch you off guard. haha, I say "eh" a lot too. and "aboot." I guess cos Nate says it..I just got used to it and picked up on it. Thanks hon..I'm really scared and worried but I think everything will be ok. Good luck with school, hon! Since I might not be back on monday to tell you that. Awww, don't be nervous..you'll do fine and i am sure there will be other chicks there. Have a great weekend, sweets. Love ya too! xoxo
from nygprincess :
Sounds like your schedule is going to be really rough. Eek. Good luck finding a job, I know what a pain it can be to find one. And I think its really cool that you are taking an interest in something Anthony likes. I'm sure it makes him really happy, shows him how much you care. I'm starting to feel stupid over the guy again. I just don't think he cares as much as I do, so I guess I'm gonna just try to get it out of my head.
from dreamer2003 :
Aww, but I WANT to comment on every entry. :) Just letting you know that I care and that I always read. Yeah..I am busy with the hurricane preparations. UGH. Here we go again. <--florida's new theme. lol. Thanks darlin, I'm sure I'll be fine. :) Anyway..time to comment on your entry!!! Aww good luck with the funeral home stuff!! I hope your shoulder is better soon. Ugh man..productiveness does suck at times. lol. I don't know which I'd prefer..being busy or being bored. Both suck. lol. Have fun with the game! Have a great weekend, hon. <33 xoxo Love ya!
from dreamer2003 :
:) Thanks Sarah!! I'm glad everything finally got straightened out. :) I KNOW you'll do great. Actually, yeah..I have pondered about what me and Nate's future children will look like/be like (that is, if we even have any.) I hope they'll have some of his traits and also some of mine. I don't have the time right now to comment on your entry. :( But I will later. I promise. Take care hon. <333
from dreamer2003 :
Thanks darlin!! :) Awww!! You're so sweet. Thanks! awww..and I feel so special to be included in your entry. :) You deserve the best too. I'm happy for you and the boy too! =D I'm glad we've BOTH found love. Good luck with the financial aid stuff! It all sounds like a mess. I hope it will get straightened out soon. I'm happy that you got your student loans. :) lol hehehe and I know I can be a bad girl sometimes. ;) Nate doesn't mind it. haha. Take care babe and have a good one. xoxoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! Aww, thanks. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday morning though so needless to say, I need my nate fix..and soon! lol. Luckily we'll be talking tomorrow. Tomorrow is our TWO YEAR anniversary!! Can you believe that? I sure as heck can't. Yup, I'm trying to keep that in mind..it won't be TOO much longer now. LOL haha..you bet i'll be overdosing. mmm. Have a great night, hon. *big hugs* <3
from dreamer2003 :
:) I'm glad that things are continuing to look up for you. I hope all of this just keeps up!
from nygprincess :
I'm really glad to hear you two talked and that things are going much better now. :) For all that you've done to be together, you two definitely deserve to be happy. And I agree with ya, guys are hard to shop for. As for that internet guy that I have the crush on, we actually talked and he made me feel much better. I hope I'm not being stupid, but I trust him. But I'm gonna keep your advice in the back of my head.
from dreamer2003 :
Thanks darlin. I have spoken to Nate about how I feel. He knows exactly how I feel about my situation at home and how much I miss him. He misses me too but unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it right now and THAT is what is SO frustrating. :( I'm really trying to be positive but everytime I do, another shitty thing happens. Ugh. I just hope that things start to get better before they get even worse. Thanks..I guess you're right. Thanks babe..I'm always here for you too. That really means a lot to me. Love ya bunches. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Gah..I am SO very happy for you. :) It seems that the boy is definitely turning around and making some positive changes. I told you that a talk would help. :) I hope he keeps it up. Good for you for mustering up that courage!! I'm glad you did..I know you two love each other and I didn't want to see you guys fall apart like that..you guys have something great!! <3
from nygprincess :
Ok, this entry made me really sad. And I was already sad. It sucks that he's not making you happy or giving you what you need. And it really makes me sad, because the you have sacrificed so much to be with him, and it sucks that you aren't even sure its what you want. If I was an optimist, I'd probably tell you that maybe you two are still in an adjustment period....that most couples go through in a relationships. However, I'm not really an optimist. Anyway, I'd sit that damn boy down for a talk and tell him how you feel. And I just wanted to thank you for the message you left me. I was so sad last night, and I felt like I was being this irrational psycho over-emotional girl, but after reading your experiences, I'm thinking that maybe I should be following my gut reactions on this one, and just forget him. Anyway, I hope things get better for ya.
from dreamer2003 :
Aww babe. :( I am so very sorry that that is what you have to deal with. God, the way you described Anthony makes him sound a LOT like my dad. How scary. I think you need to have another LONG talk with him. You can't keep how you feel inside..it's not going to make things better. He needs to know how you feel so maybe he can see what he's doing wrong and change certain things. A fight would be good cos if you don't exchange words with him, that resentment will just continue to build up..and I know that you don't want that to happen. Don't just give up on him..you two can work this out. Well, no matter what happens I wish you lots of luck and I'm here for you if you need to vent, talk, etc. Love you!!! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
LOL I'm sure they will. The fact that Nate is a dork just makes that worse. They are going to have weird parents. lol.
from klutzygirl :
check out blogger.com its easy and I', doing my template right ask I type this... by the way I never did tell you i love the new layout... Foot is throbbing but I'll live
from dreamer2003 :
Yeah, that's very true. lol..I know what you mean. I'm a dork too and very child like in certain ways. I think it's cos being a kid was so much fun. I never want to forget that feeling. :)
from dreamer2003 :
lol if it was up to me, I wouldn't be growing up but that's life. i'll be your lil stace though for as long as you want. lol. Awww, thank you. :) I have to think of something to get for you as well. ♥
from dreamer2003 :
Yeah, it was wonderful. :) It was worth waiting for, for sure. haha..I'm not sure about the toys and all that but it's possible. Ya never know. I wouldn't mind having that as a christmas gift. =D <3 xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
lol Well, you got your answer. I'm glad we did it..I think it's only brought us closer. Right timing, right person..right everything. =D haha. Awww. Oh god, I know!! Wow. We'll have to make sure that there's an endless supply of condoms around. Oh no!! heh..that will probably happen to me. But it looks like your sex drive hasn't slowed down any with age. ;) lol. Wow, look at me talking about sex..I guess I really AM growing up. hah. <3
from dreamer2003 :
LOL haha. I feel like I will become a nympho. I'm already addicted to sex though I only had it once. lol. How sad. I hope so too..I wish you guys nothing but the best. My birthday was ok..nothing too special. I went to the mall with my mom and then later on went out to a birthday dinner with my parents and had cake with my mom, aunt, and cousin. The day would have been so much better if Nate was here. :( Oh well. Are you serious? There's ANOTHER forming? Wow. They need to give us all a break!! Hurricanes are on the pacific ocean as well. Damn word..there's too much crap going on out in the atlantic. Ugh!! Love ya too hon! <3
from dreamer2003 :
I'm very happy for you and Anth. :) I hope that this is only the beginning of something even more wonderful for the two of you. However, I am VERY jealous about the sex thing. lol. Sure, I got some but I wish I could just get some whenever I want it like you can. Oh well. That made me sound like some nympho. lol. I'm happy that you two got to spend some good quality time together. :D I hope ivan the terrible just stays the hell away..and Jeanne too. Hurricane season ends in November. Ugh..it can't end soon enough. Take care Sar!! <3
from krazieespy :
Ahh. I want sex. Im jealous LOL. In exactly 6 days I will be making my journey from ND to ID :) Yaaaa.
from nygprincess :
Hey!! Good luck with the school thing, I'm really excited for ya. I wanna hear all of the gory details when you start, lol. Enjoy your sleep. :)
from krazieespy :
I agree it was slightly crazy that whoever this is "researched" the Idaho thing. Thank you for the note :)
from wngsparadise :
HAHA, I didn't leave b/c of wut others were saying. They can kiss my ass! Hehe, I just bought a pretty black-leather journal not too long ago that was crying to be written in. HA! I already abandoned that, I might be back =) *soaks up the worship*
from dreamer2003 :
Aww! Thanks for the birthday song and for the e-card, Sar!! :) My birthday was pretty good..thanks hon. I hope you have a great weekend too! lol..yes, I'm really getting old. haha. <3 you too! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey darlin! Glad to hear that you're still on for going back to school. :) You're not weird..sometimes I'll lie awake at night and just think of people I used to know and what they are doing and how they are doing now. It's normal to wonder and ponder about that. I hope you have a great day and weekend! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Yep! Awww thank you!! I missed you very much. It's nice to be able to read what you've been up to..I felt SO out of touch while I was away from the computer. Yep, Ivan may hit us. They said it's too early to tell but that we should all keep an eye on the tropics. I can't wait to move out of this state. lol. haha. Hopefully Ivan doesn't impact Florida. The last thing we need is a third hurricane in a row. Yes, Nate is a sweetheart. :) He's called me about 4 times today I think. Ah it's so nice to get so much attention. =] I feel very loved. It is the best..it's an awesome thing. Love you too! and again, good luck with that talk!!!
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar!! I've been ok, thanks. We got our power back on Sunday night but I've gotten no phone service up until today. It's so nice to finally be back online. :) I missed you!! I'm so happy for you that you're getting to go back to school and accomplish your dreams. I'm sorry that you're still having that same problem with your boy. Hopefully that talk you guys have this weekend will make things better between the both of you. Take care sweets. <3
from sweetone03 :
Thank you again for you nice note. I am already starting to feel better. Thanks to everyoes kind words. And I would like to thank you for reading my diary.
from bigpimpinmba :
Thanks for the note. I love the XM. I think you're a little younger, since I see that you are in college now, but my favorite XM stations are Fred, Ethel, and Lucy, which play all of the alternative music that I loved from mid-80s to mid 90s. Good luck in school this fall. I'm so tired of school.
from krazieespy :
OMG. I am gettin caught up on entries(gone for a week and the mini road trip). ANDI LOVE YOUR TEMPLATE. I am competely in love. Its so much easier to read... I LOVE IT! ITS AWESOME! I cant say enough how much I love it.
from krazieespy :
Thanks so much for the note... I needed advice. I know its going to be one of the hardest things I have done so far in my life. I am willing to do this now and I hope everything will work its self out.. THANKS SOOO MUCH FOR THE NOTE :)
from chubbychic :
Your layout is hot money, by the way! And yeah! Whats up with that "new and improved" foolishness?
from sweetone03 :
Thanks for the note I going to try and read your diary soon.
from nygprincess :
Aww, thanks for saying you miss me. That was really meant for a guy that I haven't talked to since I was supposed to leave the net (lol, we see how well that worked)but he doesn't read my diary so it was just me venting. Stupid men, hehe. So, you are back with Anthony again, eh? Thats cool, I'm sure you must have really missed him. I hope you update soon, but if you need to do the hiatus thing, its totally understandable. (i know, I said the h-word) :D
from klutzygirl :
Pitch Black Mt. Dew with Black Grape added toit.. is good. Tastes like grape koolaid only with carbonation. Baja is excellent got it a taco bell the other day. I know what you mean about the storms. Ya, on Saturday we might have another one. God's trying to make Florida feel special this Hurricane Season.
from nygprincess :
Hey Sarah!!! I love the new layout. I'm sad to hear your taking a vakay away from d-land but I understand the need too. I hope everything goes well between you and Anthony when you get back. You'll get closer and have the relationship that you are looking for, just give it time. And you'll finish school too, trust me, not so long ago I was at my community college (which took me six years to get through) and now I can't believe where I've gotten too. Anyway, take care of yourself, and I'll miss your updates.
from klutzygirl :
I'm patiently awaiting Hurricane Frances's arrival. I wish it would come and be over with, there is no gas for like 15 mile radius around the city, no water, ice, food, plywood. Other than that I'm okay. Just bored. But hey i'm doing okay and I'm staying at the rents.
from dreamer2003 :
yep, I saw. Thanks Sar! :) Aww, thanks. I'm sorry you aren't feeling well either. :( If you need to talk, i'm here for you hon. *BIG HUGS* <33333
from twodesigns :
I can't remember if I notified you or not, hehe. But I finished your custom. Oh, hush, it took forever but it's a fuckin beaut! Email me and I'll send it to ya =) [email protected]
from dreamer2003 :
Thanks Sarah. =) LOL hahaha..you're so silly. There was plenty of kissing going on, hehe. I'm just as much of a dork as you. hah. Love ya! ♥
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! :) I finally caught up on all of your updates. Just letting you know that i'm still reading of course. =] I understand your need for a mini vacation. It was nice to be away from the computer for a week. I needed that break. I hope you'll be able to gather your thoughts and make sense out of everything. As much as I miss Nate, it is nice to be back and see what everyone has been up to since I've been gone. I missed you too..and I'll be sure to update about it soon. =) *HUGS* <3
from annachan :
wow really? i had no idea i was totally out of the loop there
from krazieespy :
i hope the mini vacation helps you think of what you need to think about. I know how the whole thinking thing goes. I just want to say I hope you hurry back :)
from dreamer2003 :
Thanks hon!! i did have a great time, thanks babe. <3 Love ya too! xoxo
from free2dream :
Hey!! Another Josh Groban fan! Some time ago, I thought I was one of the very few fans he had...but I guess I'm wrong! :)
from annachan :
ah! you have a daughter! i never knew that... >_<
from nygprincess :
Hey, girlie. Long time since I've been able to read. Glad to hear everything is going well with you and Anthony. Have fun going home and seeing your daughter!!! And yeah..you might miss Anthony, but think how happy you'll be to see him when you get back. :)
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon! Aww..I hope you have fun in NE!! :) I'm sure Summer will be SO HAPPY to see her mommy! That's a wonderful surprise. :) Aw, well it's only a week and you'll be back to KY soon enough. It will probably go by fast. There's nothing to apologize about and you're not a shithead. We all get into those moods sometimes. Don't be afraid to open up to him because that's the only way you're going to become closer. We'll be good. :) I can't wait for your update from NE. Of course I had to include you in the survey..you're one of my greatest friends..I couldn't leave you out! :) Thank you sooo much. I really appreciate that!! I'll miss you too! :( Take care and have a safe trip. Love you too. xoxoxo
from krazieespy :
yeah dusty and I are having a long distance relationship right now, kind of sort of. He is in Iraq right now and him being over there we decided that we are going to give "us" a second chance and in order for that to work, we can't have a long distance relationship, so I told him I would move to where he is stationed(he's in the air force) and live there. I had originally planned to get my own apartment, but instead we are living together in Less than a month. I am moving 1263 miles to be with him :) Crazy I know! Thanks for the note and thanks for adding me :)
from dreamer2003 :
You're welcome!! =] EWW! Spiders just give me the creeps. Poor Nate has had to deal with so many. The bad thing about living in Arizona (besides the heat) is all of the spiders there. YUCK!!! Awww that's cute. Looking out for the toad. :) lol. We have slept together in beds before so it's ok that I'm sleeping alone. He snores really loudly anyway. LOL. Plus I'll get to cuddle with him plenty anyway so it's all good. =D HAHAHA..my mom doesn't trust me at all around Nate. That does sound good in theory though. lol. Enjoy your night, Sar!! xoxo <3
from dreamer2003 :
Awww that's okie! No problem. =] Progress is good. Baby steps. :) I prefer cats..maybe because I've had cats my whole life. I've only had one dog and that was when I was really young. Yeah! I'm the SAME way. I always wait for the "right moment" but it always ends up passing me by and then I want to kick myself for not saying it right then. Awww, thank you!!! I'm excited about it. VERY. :) LOL haha, no I'm not staying at the hotel with him. If I did my parents would freak out. I'll be sleeping by myself in my own bed. But if we still go on our road trip, I'll obviously be staying in hotels w/ him. Take care hon. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Happy one year, hon!!! :) What a milestone in a relationship. I'm so happy for you. Aww, that's an awesome revelation. You're so right about that. I'm glad you two got to kick back and watch tv..at least it was something for you guys to do together. :) EWWW spiders! YUCKKK! lol. I saw one yesterday. *shivers* Awww toads are cute. :) Skunks...yikes!!! I am off to read your note now. =] Happy anniversary once again!! <3
from dreamer2003 :
lol I do think that guys and people in general just get a vibe when they know they are screwing up and so they try to smooth things over. Awww that was nice that he told you that he loves you twice. :) We all need that reassurance sometimes. It was sweet of him to clean up too. I'm glad you're deciding to have more of a talk with him about it. Hopefully you guys can come to some sort of compromise or solution. I'm the same way. Nate knows I love him but I don't say it nearly as much as I should. I want to but something is stopping me as well. You just reminded me that I should. You're awesome to realize that BOTH of you need to contribute. FINALLY. lol. I've been telling you to talk to him for the longest time. lol. Good for you, Sarah. :) hahaha that was funny about the boy being locked out for a bit. What's wrong with cats?? They are the best!!! Then again I AM biased. heheheh. Take care sweets. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Well, don't be a coward!! As you told me, sometimes confrontation is just the best way to go. And you remember how he's reacted before..he was understanding about it and tried to be sensitive to your needs. There's nothing to be afraid of. You still need to bring that stuff up with him cos if you don't it's going to keep resurfacing. Thanks! :) well, you can comment over at LJ still if you'd like. I'm just going to copy and paste my entries onto here as well so that the people that don't have LJ or feel like going to it can read my entries here. Love ya too! xoxo good luck with the boy. =)
from twodesigns :
It's coming, it's coming. Have no fear, I didn't forget about you =)
from dreamer2003 :
Aww! I'm so sorry to hear that you didn't get to go to the amusement park. :( I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better though. I guess it just wasn't in the cards for you to go to the amusement park. :( I'm sorry you guys didn't get to go out on sunday. that sucks!! I think you need to have another talk with him about his excessive game playing. You really need to tell him how you feel..but this time go into more detail. You CAN bring it up to him, and you NEED to since it is driving you crazy. You should say that you'd like to spend more time with him and that you wished he'd pay more attention to you and played the game less. I'm sure he remembers!! i'm sure things will change..you just need to voice how you feel more instead of keeping it all inside. don't be afraid and hesitant to bring up some issues with him..that's the ONLY way that your relationship will grow. Good luck sweets and I hope things get better. *HUGS* <3
from after1990 :
Have fun! I am not one for amusement parks. Hey check out my diary
from dreamer2003 :
For some reason, when I DID write here (lol), I was more open here than I am in LJ right now. I don't know why that is. Nope, I didn't look at the pic yet but I will. :) Yeah, me too! I miss him a lot, but we'll get to talk tomorrow. I think this "not talking thing" might make our relationship even better. It is good to be apart sometimes. Yeah! It's scary ass shit. It's SO windy here. Yikes. The hurricane is affecting southwest FL and i'm southeast, so at least i'm not getting hit. BUT! we will be experiencing a lot of wind and rain. We're under a tropical storm watch, a flood watch AND a tornado watch. Wow.
from darkksyd :
Ahem...yes, WELL! I'm glad to see my preDICKaments (<--haha, get it?) amuse you, my dear, lol. Oh, I went back in and added a few new lines, just in case you need another good laugh today. And people just can't seem to understand why I am the way I am; do the things I do, ya know?! Drives me crazy...ANYWAY, so what do ya think? 10 gauge or 8 gauge? I'm glad for you & your 'breakthru'...hopefully, that'll be one of the few times in your future where you'll need to have one of those. Alright, enuff space taken, maybe I'll catch up to ya online tonite! Bye babe...
from dreamer2003 :
Heyyy! :) Aw, that's ok. No problemo. It's good that I read all of your updates..hehe..so I know what's totally going on. :D Ok..I'll read it. I'll add you to my friend list. Aw, thanks! It's good to know that. :) I definitely feel loved, that's for sure. I'm doing better now. Nate and I got everything straightened out..and I apologized for how I was acting. I haven't been moody today. :) Thank you sooo much for your words and compliments. I feel that way about you too. I'm hanging in there. Love ya too! I am off to add you to my LJ friend list. =]
from klutzygirl :
See... I knew we were seperated at birth only by a few years. Thanks for the kind words and ROCK ON SISTA!!
from dreamer2003 :
Yeah, I know that's an issue. We'd probably get a dog if we didn't have our 2 cats. They'd terrorize it..and the dog would terrorize them. lol. Hopefully you can get a cat..they are awesome animals. lol my mom is also a space cadet..so I know how that is. She has her moments. Yup, she knows. I KNEW she'd react the way she did. lol. I know her very well. I'm just glad it's done and over with, you know? lol thanks..at least someone doesn't think I'm lame. Nate makes fun of me for going to bed early. heh. My weekend's been ok..I hope you're enjoying yours too, sweets. Luv ya! xoxo and ps: thanks for reading my LJ!!
from wngsparadise :
This is Lauren (Two Designs). Now, it might be a few more days until your custom is complete. Why, because you mentioned the word "unique" And it takes me a lil while to my creativity in a unique way. And when ppl want unique, I give them UNIQUE !!! So let me use my brain for a lil and u will get your template *smiles*
from dreamer2003 :
Yeah. I heard about Rick James dying. :( That was so shocking. Oh please! If you talked to Summer less, that would make things worse and she'd be more upset and miss you even more. Your mom doesn't know what she's talking about. She calls you at night cos she loves you and wants to talk to you..she doesn't call her dad cos she doesn't want to talk to him. You'd think your mom would understand that. geez. Ugh...how low!! EWWW spiders. They are my fear. Nasty creatures!! Small and big spiders freak me the hell out. I don't think that's funny. Well, have a great weekend babe!! Much love! And Ps: Tim Mcgraw IS a hottie!! heh.
from dreamer2003 :
Aww..I LOVE KITTIES! hehe. Definitely get the cat..well, if it's alright with Mokah that is.
from twodesigns :
Hmm, so I guess you're giving me the go to do whatever the hell I want with your custom just as long as its your image, eh?? *grins*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey babe! I know what you mean..all of my entries have now become logs of what I have done each day rather than a place to vent and showcase who I really am and what I really want, dream about, and believe in. I'm glad you've decided to write more openly and honestly here. You know I'd never judge you. You NEED to bring this up with the boy!! It's not some small issue you should just let slide by. It's a big issue that is probably eating away at you and has the potential to destroy your relationship with him. You have EVERY right to be upset. Ok, yes you are his roommate..but you ARE also his girlfriend and he should acknowledge you as so to other people. Maybe he says "roomie" because you two aren't totally comfortable with each other yet. Ask him if there is a future..and why you are being referred to as a roomie..and that it hurts your feelings. You need to do that. It would make things better, I think. And you need to find out WHY he is calling you his roommate. I'm sure there's a good reason there. I do know that he loves you. I love ya too Sarah and I hope everything works out. Yep, technology rules! lol. I'm loving my new phone to pieces. =] Ok, cool. I still have to e-mail Nate my new #. Yep, I e-mailed it to you first..cos you're just special like that. lol. My mom is also good at pointing out fakeness. She has that uncanny ability. Well darlin, if you ever need to talk..you know I'm an IM, e-mail, note, call away. Love ya!! *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
Awww. :( Unfortunately, a lot of people in this world are backstabbers, phony, and two faced. Ugh. I HATE people like that. They act nice to your face & then talk shit about you behind your back. Yup, I got a new phone and I e-mailed you the phone #. We cancelled verizon and got cingular. My mom already had an existing plan and contract there..so I'm on her plan now. I love the phone!! it's great. =)
from dreamer2003 :
Ugh, I'm sorry you have to deal with such a bitch for a landlady. :( I hope things with that get better & I hope you feel better soon too, Sar!!! <3 *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Oh god..people SUCK!!! man they really do. I'm so sorry that you have to put up with such bullshit. I hope everything gets straightened out soon, Sar. <33
from twodesigns :
No problemo =)
from dreamer2003 :
Ok, I will e-mail you now. It's nothing really big though..just something I need to get off of my chest and ask you about. Thanks so much. :)
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sarah..I need your advice about something. Can I e-mail you? Anyway...wow, this year did fly by..which is both a good and a bad thing. Oh my god..the solid waste co needs to leave you alone!! I hope that all works out and you won't have to go to court. Awww and that place does sound gorgeous..it sounds like a great place for you and the boy to go to. At least he's making more of an effort to cut down on the games and to pay more attention to you. :) Have a great day, hon. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Ah yes, I love XP. :) Thanks so much, babe!! Yay!! I am excited about it too. Yeah? I didn't even think about that..I'd love to see you in KY. I'm going to tell Nate about Cumberland falls and gap and see what he says. That does sound beautiful!! I love nature and anything having to do with it. Love ya too! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Sar. *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
:( I know I haven't been around here at all and I feel horrible about that. I don't even have the time lately. Also, when I do have a chance I keep forgetting to update here. Aww that's ok. Keep reading my Lj. I'm probably going to update there shortly. Thanks for reading. :) HOPEFULLY I'll remember and have a chance to write here soon. I'm sorry I haven't been around. :( I've missed you too!!! Have a great weekend, once again. Love ya!! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hey babe! I am so sorry about all that's happening. :( Hopefully you'll have the money soon to pay for that stuff. I also hope that you'll be able to at least do practical work. Aww i am glad you and the boy's mom get along so well. :) I am SO GLAD that his dad's treatment went well. :) What good news. I am off to read your note..have a great weekend, hon! xoxo <3
from twodesigns :
Okee Dokee, I recieved your request for a custom, and I will get to it asap. All I ask is for you to be patient, I have 3 more customs to do and then you! =) ~lauren
from redneck1978 :
hey bear i think i'm with dreamer2003 on the thing with your mom and i know summer loves you and i know she don't want to be here with your mom i know that she so happy to come and see me fo the three day she do see me i love her too but i know she need her mom not her grandma
from redneck1978 :
hey i did it i know how to leave a note sarah cool mgs i like it i like your mom want peeky to by a girly girl but i know so don't want to be that so i let you go talk with you later
from klutzygirl :
The show is called Family Plots on A&E on Monday Nights at 9 pm. I watch it. It's good.
from dreamer2003 :
Ah bath and body works is awesome!!! :) I'm glad you finally managed to get some sleep. Yay!! Awww..letter from your Summer..that is cute. =D Your mom is just so controlling. I hate it when people have these dumb pre conceived notions of how people are supposed to be. Just let people be themselves!! So I totally see where you are coming from. It is NOT your fault, hon. She WILL get out of there. You're an awesome mom and you're doing the best you can with her..she won't be there forever. You love her, and she knows that. Take care babe!! <3
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! That's ok..better late than never. =) *sigh* well unfortunately, I will not be moving there next month. No, we didn't get into a fight or break up or anything..it's just that we REALLY need to save up for some things before I move there...now is just not the right time to move there I'm afraid. So we're hoping for my move there to be in November instead. However, he does want to come here next month to see me. =) So I'm crossing my fingers that that works out. Thanks for caring so much..I really don't think many people do. lol. I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, sweets. <3 Love ya! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Ooh! I enjoyed The Surreal life. What an interesting group of people..I was amazed at how well they got along myself. It seems like america is just obsessed with poker now. It's a new fad...I don't get it. lol. You know Anthony's dad is in my prayers. I hope everything will be ok. I'm gonna read your note now....
from klutzygirl :
Dr. G's show was informative, but like you said they didnt show the good stuff, which i said to my mom who watched it with me before I headed home, they show more crap than this on that operating show. She agreed, but being dead people and all they probably can't show too much unless the family doesnt care. Anyways. She seems cool, but I'll watch it to see if I recongize any of the cases since I live in Orange County and cause there is nothing really else that great on a Friday night at 9 p.m. lol!!! Tootles!!
from klutzygirl :
You lucky pre-mortician you!!! Welcome Back. I can not wait to hear about your times with the funeral home!! :0)
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sarah! Welcome back. I missed you. I am sorry the trip to NE didn't go well, but at least now you have a piece of mind about Sum. :) So it does sound like the money was well spent. See, I knew you'd have those home like feelings for KY eventually..it was just going to take time and getting used to it all. I wish you lots of luck with your weekend gig! :) I'm sure that will go well..it sounds like an exciting opportunity for you. Take care hon. <333 xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! I will be crossing my fingers that everything goes well for you in NE. We'll miss you too!! I'm glad you won't act on your thoughts..I know that you have a good head on your shoulders. Thanks for clearing all that up..I was so worried. I hope everything works out..I am sure it will work out for the best. Thanks, I hope the same for you. Love ya girl!!! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Ugh, I know all about crap sleeping schedules..I have been SUCH an insomniac lately! Grr..when you don't get a lot of sleep, it just totally screws with your mind. Oh wow..I'd be very pissed too. :( I'm sorry that things are such a mess. I hope they get straightened out. Well, I hope you find a job soon. It's not your fault that Anth wasn't up on time..he should get an alarm clock or something and not solely rely on you to wake him up. You lost track of time, it happens. SARAH!! You're scaring me. :( You have SO much to live for..I know things are hard NOW, but they will get better. Everything's going to get fine. Please don't do anything stupid. I love and care for you..just like many people. It is OK to break down sometimes and cry..and not always be a superhuman. You don't have to put on a fake smile..you're a human being with real feelings and emotions, it's more than fine to show them sometimes and to let other people help you. You have a purpose in this world..never forget that. You need to get back out there into the world..get out of the house..ok?? see people. I'm here for you, and I worry about you and I want for you to be ok. Don't think so much about things..everything happens for a reason. Keep your head up and hang in there!!! *huge hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Nooo! I hope your pics don't get lost. I'd love to see em whenever you can get your digicam fixed. What an asshole!! You were obviously not shoplifting. He just had nothing better to do..put that dick in his place, Sar! I'm jealous of you and Anth..hell, I am jealous when I read about any couple spending time together. :( haha I am like Anth..a plain jane. don't like spicy stuff. ekk. Well darlin, take care and I hope you have a great day! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Yeah, I was thinking about that myself..like I don't want to disappoint anyone here and I just hold back a lot in my LJ and kind of make it into a fun thing. lol thanks. I think we're cute too. :D You should see our convos..we'd probably make you sick. lol. Sappiness at it's best. I hate laundry. Boooooo. lol. yeah, she sounds annoying..as I said, she just doesn't know it. I think she needs to be informed..but in a nice way. ;) lol. Wow, it sounds amazing there. I am looking forward to seeing the pics. :D Have a great night. Luv ya too!! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Oh god..I was going to say something about Judy being a copycat, but I am the same way. Like I can't even think for myself sometimes. I am sure it annoys the shit out of people..especially Nate since I pretty much do what he does all of the time. Don't worry..they will be gone soon enough and out of your way. Try to think of it this way.."Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." She probably does love you and admire you a lot..she just doesn't realize that she's being a nuisance. I'm sure you'll make it through. :) I can't wait to see the pics. I'm prayin for ya..you know that. Take care doll. *huge hugs* <333
from dreamer2003 :
I'm glad things are looking up. :) See if you just talk to him more and more, then everything will fully work itself out in time. I hope Rog will be on his best behavior..that would be a nightmare if he started acting up on you. If he does, I know you won't take his shit either. HAHA I know what you mean about being domesticated..I'm already turning into a housewife type and I am not even living with Nate or married to him. lol. heh. You are doing your part though in a lot of ways, so you have nothing to feel badly about. Ok, well that's the end of this "novel." lol. Take care and enjoy your weekend doll! <3 xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Awww, I know. Thank you darlin. I love and care for you as well! Your updates make my day. Seriously. Yeah..I am only going to write when I want to. That's all. Not everyday cos I feel like I "have to" to please everyone. Thanks so much for that!! Yeah, I might have to do that. I'm still giving serious thought to it. Hmmm I don't know why you'd be scared of him. Trust me, I doubt he'd hurt you. Just realize that he's a human being and that he would approach you with a problem. Just do it whenever you're ready. I hope it gets better..it would be crappy if things continued on this way with nothing being resolved. I'm glad at least that it feels right..that's definitely a good sign. Don't worry, it's all just going to take time. I believe that it will all work out for the best. That's ok. I hope you have a great weekend as well & I love your "novels." lol. Take care dear. <333
from klutzygirl :
Dr. G from the new show on Discovery Health Medical Examiner, she's from my area. There is a big spread on her in our local Orlando paper today. Looking forward to that show too, speaking of which, when is that bugs that live on you show playing and what channel is it on. I would love to see that one too.
from klutzygirl :
JTHM??? Not getting that one, will once you tell who that person might be.. or it's just I havent had my morning joe (soda). I work in an Internal Medicine office. Really Adult medicine, they dont see kids under the age of 13. I like it here. But this is not whatI want to do for the rest of my life.
from dreamer2003 :
Aw darlin..you shouldn't be afraid of him. If you're having some issues with him, then you need to bring those up with him or else you might start to resent him. And that would be very very bad. heh. Ohh! nevermind..you did tell him off. YOU GO GIRL!! lol. You do need to explain that you wish you were more of a priority and that you just want to spend more time with him is all. LOL hon, not many people like toes or feet. Eek. I think it could still be awkwardness..like it's going to take more time for you guys to get used to each other. See, I've been with Nate a few times over a few weeks span so I know what to expect. You moved in with Anthony without having met him..so of course there's adjustments to be made, things to learn about one another, and the issue of being comfortable with each other which will take time. I hope you enjoy having your family over..that should be pretty nice. :) I hope everything gets worked out..I am sure it will. I know he loves you as much as you love him. Take care girly. <3
from dreamer2003 :
Awww..don't worry. I won't disappoint ya for much longer. (Hint..an update will be coming either tomorrow or at some point during the weekend). god, I haven't mentioned anything yet. I've actually been trying not to think about it. lol. I think I'm making it into a last minute thing. heh. Yes! definite good alternative. Thanks darlin! It has been going pretty well so far. I hope you're having a good day too. Enjoy your night! Love ya too. xoxo
from klutzygirl :
OMG!! Your like me but only the NORTH ME and I am the SOUTH ME. Were both into death/dying and we drink MT. DEW (Nectar of the GODS)!!! I am so loving the STIFF book. Almost done. By the way your layout KICKS ASS!!
from dreamer2003 :
lol I know. :P I am such a tease. haha. I promise a real update will come within a few days. haha..I hope you pounced on your boy. ;) take care babe and have a good one. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
lol dear, I meant that he needs to learn how to compromise. not you! you've been compromising far too much. thank you, you too. Have a great night. Luv ya. <3
from dreamer2003 :
I'm glad you're getting back into updating again. :) I've fallen out of it. heh. haha..laundry sucks. But it needs to be done. LOL i am easily amused and annoyed as well. I am staying farrr away from Nair. heh. I hope your tummy ache gets better soon. Love ya, Sar. *hugs*
from klutzygirl :
Hey sorry I missed your note from awhile back. I have a few classes I have to get thru first then I'm signing up for the Mortuary School in the Fall of 05 most likely. I'm gonna add you to my friends list, people like us are hard to find. I have books, movies (Six Feet Under, Nip/Tuck) and love learning about death and stuff. I would not be squeemish at all to work on a dead body. I am currently reading Stiff by Mary Roach, great book about what they do to human cadavers that donate there bodies to science. Very interesting. :0)
from dreamer2003 :
I'm glad it's all on track too. :) Gosh..I am so sorry about your parents and about you not sleeping much. I believe that was inconsiderate of Anthony to play that game when he knew you were trying to get to bed. Hopefully in the future you guys will be able to compromise. You better get some sleep soon. As long as Sum will be going to a good school, then that's all that matters. Hopefully your mom has good intentions. I also hope today is a better day for ya babe. Go and accomplish something. Take care. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sarah..oh ok. I am sorry she has to go. :( But you really have no other option at this point. I hope she'll understand that you are doing this because it would be the best thing for the both of you. Hopefully if all goes according to plan, then yep..I'll be there in August. :) I think he said that whole thing about next year because of the fight and how he was feeling at the time. But right now, things appear to be on schedule again. :D Take care. Love ya too! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hi Sar! So nice to see an update from you again. : ) I hope you update more soon. Yeah..I know what you mean about the job thing. I really need one too. I'm sure we'll both find something in no time. heh, Sum reminds me of me. So shy. lol. I know you want nothing more than to have her with you right now. :( But she'll be with you there soon enough. I hope you're doing well, hon. Take care! xoxo Luv ya.
from dreamer2003 :
Thanks darlin! :D so am I. you're so sweet. :) Take care and have a great weekend and 4th, babe. *HUGS* Love ya. <3
from dreamer2003 :
Hey darlin..I see the e-mail. I will get to that shortly. Thank you so much. :D LOL yeah. I love your "novels." You know that. Thank you..I know you're right. LOVE YA! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
"We did speak a bit about is that night." OOPS! That was supposed to be "us" not "is". lol. Sorry.
from dreamer2003 :
Hey babe! Thank you for asking. :) Not many people really care about my personal issues..lol. We finally talked today. It was definitely not the talk that I had hoped for, but nevertheless it was the talk that I got. We're not fighting anymore but things are not the way that I want for them to be at all. Now everything that used to be so clear..about our future, etc is uncertain & up in the air. Not on my part, but on his part. He's not feeling any love for me right now..and things are awkward and strange between us. I feel like this fight has just tainted our relationship. I guess it's going to take some time before things get back to the way they were. He said he did some thinking..and he said it probably would be best if I didn't move there in August and just waited for a year. That hurt. He just doesn't believe in us the way that I do and he told me that I shouldn't just look toward him for my happiness..that I should look elsewhere too, which is true. Things are just very rocky and unstable. I just hate this turn that our relationship has taken. *Sigh* Well, after the first couple of hours of meeting Nate I could tell that we were going to get along just fine. A lot of it was just a "filler"..but still it was talking..so I didn't care. lol. We did speak a bit about is that night. Nate is definitely a big jokester as well. Yes, I have faith that you and Anthony will be just fine. I can't wait for the e-mail. :) Take care sweets. Love u!!!
from coralsandzz :
I have always been interested in forensic science too. It is facinating, and I once considered attending mortuary school as well, but that was fleeting. I think after a while it would become depressing, or just routine. At some point you may get desensitized. I am interested in hearing you chronicle your morturary schooling education here.
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! I want to let you know that I read your whole update. :) I'm glad KY is so pretty. I am sorry though that you are going through a hard time with the boy. You know you can e-mail me if you want. About the awkwardness...that's bound to happen. When I first met Nate, I was extremely nervous and at first we didn't talk much at all. But then gradually after awhile, we became comfortable with each other. I think that same thing will happen between you and Anthony. You'll get used to being there and over time you will become less and less homesick. Of course things are going to be crazy, cos they are always crazy right after a move. Once you're settled, then I think everything should go ok. You and Anthony just have to get used to being around one another..that's all. All the kinks I am sure will be straightened out. You know Anthony's dad is in my thoughts and prayers. As are you. And hey, you know if you need to talk that I am here for you as well. I'm glad overall that the move went well though. :) Thanks, I hope so. He didn't call yesterday. He probably doesn't want to talk to me. *Sigh* It hurts but yet I know he's pissed at me. You're right. ok, doctor Sarah! lol. I will definitely get it checked out if it continues. Thanks for caring. :) Take care darlin. Keep your chin up..the craziness WILL die down in time. Love you too! *HUGS*
from coralsandzz :
I added you
from nygprincess :
Hey!!! Good to hear from you. I'm glad you're okay and everything is going well. Can't wait to read your update!!
from dreamer2003 :
Hey darlin..I missed ya too. Thanks so much for reading my entries last night. :-) I really appreciate that. Aw, and thanks..that's sweet. I definitely feel like it's their loss. And someone else's gain. =D Yeah she does. I hate him too but I am just sick of hearing about it, or talking about it even. Ha....I know what you're saying. Someday it might happen. I'm sorry to hear that. :( I hope things get better. Yes, you should definitely e-mail me sometime. You're welcome. :-) Love ya too. xoxo Take care. <3
from dreamer2003 :
*Smiles* Welcome back Sarah!!! It's so nice to have you back. I am very much looking forward to that update. I hope you feel better soon & I can't wait to hear from you. Missed you much. *hugs* <3
from dreamer2003 :
Hiii Sarah! You haven't updated in two weeks so I am just wondering how you are doing and how the move went. I hope all is well. I'm guessing you haven't updated cos you're very busy and can't get to a puter. I hope that's the case! I just wanted you to know that I am missing and thinking about ya. <3 *hugs* write to me whenever you see this.
from dreamer2003 :
Aww babe..I am sure it is sad leaving all you've ever known but look at what you are gaining..you get to be with the boy FINALLY, you get to be in new surroundings, you get to live out your dreams. It all sounds good to me. It's a change for the better..or I hope it is. I'm glad you got to be with your family..I know you needed that. Yes, it should be nice to have your parents come visit you. Hopefully they won't hassle you. Yes..once you see Anthony, all of those feelings will go away and after awhile, you won't be homesick anymore. You know I wish you all of the best. I can't wait to hear all about..everything. Please update as soon as you can and fill us all in. We all care and love you! I have a dreamcatcher..but oh well..lol. And it's authentic. Thanks, darlin. I hope you have the best weekend everrr. Luv you too! *big hugs* Good luck!!
from nygprincess :
No more countdown. I wonder if you're in Kentucky by now. I'm so excited for you. Good luck with everything and hopefully we will hear from you real soon!
from angel-like :
Oh wow!!! Today is the day! :D I'm really nervous and excited for you! Goodluck sweetie :o) I hope things turn out exactly how you hoped they would! All the best. *hugs* xxx
from dreamer2003 :
Today is the day right?? The moving day! OH MY GODDD! lol. I think I am more excited about it than you are! hehe. I hope it all goes smoothly. :D I'm thinkin about ya! You best let us all know what is happening..and soon. The suspense is killing me, haha. Love ya! *MANY HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
We didn't go for ice cream. :( When it came down to it, my aunt just didn't feel like it. Maybe we'll go tonight. I'll fed ex some ice cream to ya! heh. I think she has..or I hope so. Yeah, I know..thanks Sarah. :) You always fill me with so much hope. <3 ya! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Aw, yesh..being a slacker sometimes is nice. Especially for you I bet since you've been doing SO much lately. Mmm steak! lol. Ha, I am not surprised that they want to fly down to KY. If it makes them feel better, and they get off your back..then you should be all for it. lol. I hope the movers come by! Yikes..poor guy. I can see why there was such a scene. Some people in this world are fucking sickos. And oh yes, parents are just lovely..sarcasm. lol. My parents don't know..yet. heh. I'm thinking of a good time to tell them. That's understandable. You better be sleeping right now! Have a great day. <3 xoxo
from nygprincess :
Hey girlie. Sorry I haven't replied in awhile. I just read your latest entry. Seems complicated with your parents, but I'm sure they are just doing it to look out for you. Its annoying, but I'm sure they just wanna make sure you're gonna be safe. Its funny...but parents just can't stop being parents, even when their kids are adults and fully capable of making their own decisions. If I don't get online to leave you a message before the move, I wish you lots of luck and a safe trip. I'm sure everything is gonna be great for the two of you. I hope you can get online and let us know how it goes!
from dreamer2003 :
Aww hon, I'm sorry that your weekend sucked. :( Damn parents!! Wow, Anthony was brave!! See, he really does love you..I bet he'd do anything for you..and obviously he'd put up with anything just to be with you. It's a really good sign that they like him. NOT that you need your parent's approval anyway..but still..it makes your life a heck of a lot easier. Wow, it sounds like a lot is being accomplished. VERY soon you'll be out there. :) Aww, I want to see the arch! I'm jealous! TAKE MEEE! lol j/k. A little detour sounds good. :D VERYY soon the move will be finished. Enjoy your week, sweets! *BIG HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
Yeah, I am sure that it's bothering your mom that Anthony has a clean past..she's trying to dig up some kind of dirt. That's just pathetic. Who's the adult in this? Definitely you. She prolly just wanted to hassle you some more and give you a bigger headache. :( lol haha..yes. My mom is nutty too but she's not THATTTT crazy..um..I don't think so. lol. I KNOW I am going to be given a MIGHTY hard time about moving in Aug, but that's not going to stop me. :D Yeah, my weekend was ok. Yesterday was borrinng, but saturday was fun. :) Hoobastank rules! I still need to listen to the CD. lol. haha, thank you. =D THANK GOD FOR BUMPERS! haha. Yep, we're having a BBQ tonight. beer flavored brats? hmm. never heard of that. Well darlin, I hope you have a great week! Keep your head up. Luv ya! xoxo.
from dreamer2003 :
That's ok hon..I KNOW you have so much on your mind and so much to deal with right now. :( But it ALL will be better once you're in KY away from it all. My leg is hurting again..I burnt it yesterday. OH WONDERFUL! lol. Grr. Yeah, I'm definitely going to do that..thanks. I wish you all of the best, Sarah. I'm praying things get better for you. Luv ya! Have a good one.
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! Oh wow..I am glad your family is Ok. That's some SCARY stuff. Yikes. They really got Sum through it, which is great. Poor thing. :( Man, i'd freak out too. WHAT THE HECK?? A background check?? That is SO crazy. She's doing it to him because she's so desperate to find out any information that will make you reconsider moving to KY. Her last ditch effort basically. I doubt she'll actually call..she's just trying to scare you into getting what she wants. Your mom is INSANE! You don't have to fight for her..you're a great mother and have done nothing but love Summer. Hmm that's true..it's possible that they do have some ulterior motive there. I think you should take her with you just to make sure that you don't lose her. You're not a loser..I can understand it. :( After all the crap your parents are putting you through. If you stop talking to them..then it's THEIR loss and they can thank themselves you pushing you away. I wouldn't blame you if you stopped talking to them..it would probably make your life a LOT less stressful. Darlin, I'm here for you if you EVER need to talk..you know that. You can still be happy about moving..it's a great thing. Don't let her steal your happiness away anymore. She won that..but don't let her win again. You have MUCH to look forward to..she can't take that away from you. LUV YA!!! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Wow, those lyrics just fit into what I am going through as well. Oh my..your parents are the ULTIMATE control freaks. I think that time will prove everything..once they know how happy you are, in time they will grow to accept the idea. It really doesn't matter how they feel about it anyway cos you're an adult and have to live your OWN life. You are going to prove THEM wrong. I am so glad you're going ahead with this..you need to find out, you're right. Well, I HOPE they are backing down. Maybe they are just giving you a hard time cos they'll miss you? I don't know. Either way, you need to do what's best for you..and I am glad you are. Awww..:( All this hellacious moving will be done soon. haha, I am easily amused too. Well sarah, Luv ya! and don't let your parents bring you down. Have a great weekend! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Aww, you poor thing. :( But pretty soon you'll get everything done and will be ready to move into your new apartment with the boy. :) Aww, they grow up SO fast these days. Time flies by. Wow..skipping a grade? She is a smarty pants! lol. Dayum. You're not abandoning her. I think it's great that you're going to go see her and spend some time. It's also nice of you to want to spend time with your folks and see your grandpa. Ah every couple has money probs at some point..it's totally normal. Wow, just one more week. I can't believe it! Good for u! :D Luv ya! have a good one. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
lol yeah, you'll be nervous. But the best kind of nervous possible. Awww. :( Good! I am glad we'll still be able to read your updates. I can't wait to hear about..EVERYTHING! lol. Luv ya. And breathe. lol. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon..Wow you have a very stressful time ahead of you, definitely. ANY move is stressful, but things will calm down after awhile. It's all worth it for the boy, I'm sure. :) Sounds like you'll have tons of fun with Sharon. That's great! You'll need that. I am so glad your dad's ok. :) My prayers were answered. Aww, summer is such a smartie. You have every reason to be proud. She'll adjust just fine. Aww, I'm glad you're getting your Mokah back. I know how much she means to you. Gonna go and read what you wrote me..buh bye for now. :)
from dreamer2003 :
Hi hon! Yep, it was a great weekend. :D You should check it out..I think you'd absolutely LOVE it, like I did. Thanks, I'll be just fine I'm sure..it's just irritating. Aww, thanks for the invite..I'll keep that in mind. FOUR MORE DAYS..according to your counter. YAY!! I am sure you are just bubbling over with excitement. : ) You too, darlin. Luv ya tons! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
I'D LIKE TO COME DOWN TO KY TOO! :D lol j/k Sarah. Aww, you poor thing. :( I am so glad that you and the boy are growing closer. :) You lucky bitch..you can be with your man soon! just kidding..you KNOW I am sooo happy and excited for you. : ) I'm jealous. :( Grrr. I have to wait quite a bit longer. But I'm glad you don't! Only one week left! YAY!!!! You guys are going to last for such a very long time. You guys rock! Well darlin, take care and have a good one! Much love. <3
from dreamer2003 :
Yep..keep cool! Ok, good luck with packing! You too, darlin. Much love!
from dreamer2003 :
LOL compared to packing, unpacking is the fun part..haha. Nah, that was pretty funny actually. :) Don't underestimate yourself. haha..it really does help. A lot of the time it is "mind over matter." Luv ya too. *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey again hon. Another good thing for you to do would be to take a cold shower. Think about snow and ice cubes. lol. Wow, it does take a lot of guts to perform in front of lots of people with the possibility of being embarrassed. Aww, the packing will be done soon. It's all worth it though..and then when you get there you'll have to UNPACK. fun, fun. lol. I will continue to have your and Anthony's dad in my prayers. I hope everything works out. <3
from dreamer2003 :
Yep, that would definitely upset anyone's tummy. It COULD be nerves too cos that's also a reason for it. Nah, it wasn't stupid. At least you'll know next time not to do that. I hope you feel better soon!! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Thanks Sarah for the wish. :) hehe, I guess we are. But so are you and Anthony. Yikes!! You poor thing!! That doesn't sound like a good situation. :( I hope you can stay cool somehow..just have some cold drinks. Thanks, I hope your weekend is good too. Awww, I know. :) Luv ya much! xoxo
from nygprincess :
Sorry I haven't replied lately, but life has been kinda hectic. And I'm still laughing about the genital supporter thing. :) Moving day is getting awfully close for ya, you must be so excited. You better update once you get there, all of your faithful readers want to know how its going. Yeah, I did decide on staying in Jersey, but at least I won't be too close to my parents. I'll still be a good hour and forty five minutes away, so I'm hoping thats enough to restore my sanity. Anyway, I totally understand about the packing and what a pain in the ass it is. Even though I'm not leaving right away now, I'm still trying to pack most of my crap up, so I don't have to do it at the last minute. I never realized how much stuff accumulates. It does suck. I wish I could close my eyes and it would be done magically for me. Anyway, just blast some music and hopefully it will make it less painful. See ya around. :)
from darkksyd :
I'm always around, babe, 'specially for you, just call me or drop me an IM or sumthin, I'll get back to ya...haven't been online much though, just been having kinda a hard time keeping my head right is all, keeping it from slipping into a funk again. I know you've heard it before, but life sucks. I miss you through it all though. Alright...I'm out.
from dreamer2003 :
lol I am sure people visit my diary from strange search engines as well. Grrr. Hmm, I think you should go for that phone. It sounds good. Like I said, packing is just one step further in getting to to Kentucky..it's absolutely necessary towards your move. Everything will get done. It is crazy..but I am so happy for you..so happy that you are going to be there SO VERY SOON! How exciting. :) It's a good kind of nervous though. Think of it this way..the sooner you get yourself all packed, the sooner you can relax until you have to leave to be with your boy. Love ya hon! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey sweetie..awww, I am sorry that you can relate to me. :( Not good at all. Gosh, I can't wait to be out of here soon..and don't worry either, Sarah..you'll be out of there soon too as well...living your own life, your mom not being able to control you anymore..getting to be with your boy. We'll both have all of that. Awww, thank you for the offer. That means a lot. :) Thanks, I know I will too. Packing bites! But think of it this way..packing is essential..it's going to get you to KY to be with your sweetie!! Thanks for the note, babe. Luv ya!! *big hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Ok, I couldn't help myself..I just HAD to read your update NOW! lol. I am SO HAPPY for you and the boy..for one I am glad you got to talk to him a lot this weekend, and also I am so glad that it's official..you'll be moving..INTO AN APARTMENT! See, I told you it would all work out!! I am sure all of that frustration is over..now stress has taken it's place. Awww. :( You'll get everything done though..just don't try to take on too much at once is all. You know I am praying for his dad..hoping it all turns out for the best like moving has done for you. Don't worry, I'm not good with fax machines either. I am so excited for you!!! It sounds so great..all of it. WOO HOO!! congrats, congrats! You'll be with the boy soon..lucky!!! Good for you, good for you. Well darlin, have a fabulous week! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon! I'm back. I won't have a chance to read your entry now seeing as how my mom will probably be home soon, so for now, I'll just write you back..ok? :) Nah, I won't watch it. I spoke more in depth with my cousin about it and she said that she thinks they killed him first too cos it just didn't add up to her either. Thanks! It was so sweet of him..it really was the thought that counted. :) I am sorry too..but we'll get to go some other time. It was alright..I got to talk to Nate, yep. Thankfully! Well, I'll be back later to read your update..hope you had a good weekend! *hugs*
from darkksyd :
Yeah, maybe there is nothing wrong with dreaming...they wouldn't call it that otherwise, would they? Dreaming...I'm just wondering lately why certain people have all the good things happen to them, they just seem luckier than the rest of us. I've been tryin to get on at the railroad for a month, and so many people I know have got the job I want, and they don't necessarily have more to offer than I do ya know? Just very disheartening after a while...*sigh*...oh well. I've been tryin ta catch ya online as well, haven't been lucky in that respect either...I miss you. I'm out. -E
from dreamer2003 :
LOL yesh..tomorrow is going to be a VERY early morning for me. We have to be at my aunt's by 7:30, I think. But I probably have to be up at around 6 or so. Probably earlier. Oh, well, there's a HUGE twist in that "san diego trip" Nate was supposed to go on..THERE IS NO SAN DIEGO TRIP! lol. He was going to come here today and surprise me!! But it fell through. :( He couldn't get the money in time to come here. We were thisclose to spending the weekend together, going to tampa together and then it was just snatched out from under us. GRRR. But I am truly touched that he would go through all that he did just to be with ME. No one else would do that..he's very amazing. :) It just wasn't meant for us to be together this weekend. :( But he tried. Anyhow, yeah..not too much longer til we're together anyway. : ) Same with you and the boy. They need to change their voting to only ONE vote per person. Lol I wouldn't be too sure..Nate is a procrastinator usually. It will all work out for you. Aw, thank you!! Luv ya too! xoxo. Have an awesome day and weekend, hon!
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon! Oh gosh..my cousin saw that beheading and she described it in full detail, and just from her description I KNEW it was something I really didn't want to see. For one I am EXTREMELY squeamish, and two..it would have just made me really upset. Your mom sounds like a huge control freak..she can't control you now, so she's trying to control how you raise your daughter. *shakes head* Hmm interesting..I think you're right. You would think there would be TONNSSSSSS of blood. It sounds like you have something there. You really are good with this whole "Death stuff." lol. Wow, you are certainly very intelligent..the things you say are right on the money and soooo true. It does sound like they care..they do mean well, they just go about showing it in strange ways..lol. you aren't being an ass though, hon. Good luck to your mom on her interview! She's in my prayers. Well, I am off to read your note!
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! lol that really isn't "taking care of it." But I guess that's just her version of what that means. Awww, at least the boy has a good phone now. : ) Well, I really hope you aren't "packing for nothing." Don't worry, I am sure you guys will have a place to live in. LOL from the way you put it I guess I am "quite the pussy." :( lol. Anyhoo, I hope your day is great Sarah! Luv ya! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Time is a funny thing..that's for sure. I am sorry that you and the boy didn't get to talk much over the weekend. :( I know how that goes. lol. HAHA..I'd be yelling too if I was his girlfriend. Then again, she DID overreact quite a bit and flew off of the handle. Wow. Noooo..I hope the iguana will be ok. :/ It's such a shame to put an animal to sleep. :( I think I will get the grand interrogation when I move as well. I know how that is as well..my parents are the ultimate control freaks. You know what's best for your daughter and I am glad you're sticking to your guns. That is very good thinking..you do have to keep your guard up because you never know what a person's motives are sometimes. Ughh..god..I would NOT stand for that. You don't need their approval..you're an adult for christ sakes. Hell, I am even mad at your family..lol. That's just low. Unfortunately you can't pick your family. blah. lol. I will continue to keep Anthony's dad in my prayers. And you as well. Luv ya, darlin. *many hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sarah! I've missed you too. I was thinking about you earlier, so it is really nice to hear from you again. :) Yep, definitely having the same problem. It happens from time to time. Of course..lol. At least the beginning of the day went well. Thanks! You're right. And I am excited about BG..that will definitely lift my spirits. Yeah, I know we'll make it. It's just something I have to get used to now. And yes, we will still talk. :) Ok, cool. I'll e-mail you after I read your entry. Well, whenever you can give me your #, I would like that. Luv ya too...I'm gonna read your entry right...now...: )
from nygprincess :
Thanks for your message. Your advice means alot, because I know you're telling me the truth, since I'm a complete stranger and all. Anyway, I'm glad you two worked it out. If you didn't I would seriously cry, because everytime I read your diary or look at your clock counting down till you see him, well...it restores my faith that love actually exists. :) You must be so excited. And what you said about how you know you are going to freak, but the freaking will be worth it in the end...well that is so true. Anytime you take a risk, you are putting yourself out there to get hurt or deal with the awkwardness, but to not do something because of that fear...well, then you'd spend the rest of your life wondering "what if." And that wondering is far worse than any initial awkwardness you two may feel in the beginning. Rebel sounds cute. :)
from dreamer2003 :
It seems like a misunderstanding between you two..nothing that can't be worked out. It happens. You really need to tell him your point of view, how you felt about it. Well, if you can talk to him. Yup, your friends are always here for you. And if you ever need to talk on the phone, you can have my #. Now, I don't go around giving it to just anybody, but you're special. ;) You will get used to the move and adjust..it will take time, but it will happen. THIS change will be good. OHH nevermind, you did have a talk with him. Good. :) Whew..I am so glad everything is Ok and moving along smoothly. Well I hope the place is available! Good luck Sar. My fingers are crossed for ya. Haha, hermit crab sounds like me. I hope you'll be ok with your asthma! Well dear, I luv ya and am so glad things are getting back to normal for you and the boy. *big hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Uh oh. Not good. :/ I really don't think he wants to break up with you. He probably just feels threatened by Eric..and jealous. He's not thinking rationally. I doubt he meant it. He's probably stressed out too, etc. You guys definitely need to have a much longer talk, to clear everything up. It's not over..and you have every right to be pissed. I hope you two straighten things up cos it would be a HUGE mistake for you two to break up. Good luck, sweetie. Luv ya!!
from dreamer2003 :
You're very welcome. I know. He needs to really put in that effort to show that he is thinking of you. Yes, because you control your own thoughts. They can be a good friend, or your worst enemy. You need to really TRAIN yourself to think about other, more positive, happy things. There is NOTHING wrong with making yourself vulnerable sometimes. Even the strongest person crumbles from time to time. You wouldn't be a burden. And you're not. It is significant..to you. I promise it will be ok if you do break down. It's what you need. We all can't be superhuman all of the time. Love ya too..and I am always, always here to listen. *MANY HUGS* xoxo
from darkksyd :
Hey babe...I just read your latest entry here...I wish there was something I could say, something I could do, to help put you at ease. Unfortunately, no one can really say they 'know how you feel' and all that kind of stuff, know what I mean? Sometimes I really hate it, too, when people tell me that. Trust me--of all people, I'm the one that knows what it means to NOT be connected to your special other. It's difficult...but you have my number, and know that even though we live far away from each other, I would welcome your least concern, and do what I could to help, okay? I know I'm prolly the last person you'd consider collapsing on, but I'm here anyway. And don't worry; if we never get together before you go, then we never get together, much as I'd like to try to, that is, ;) I consider myself blessed enough to know you from our chats online; meeting would be the icing on the cake, so to speak. But you better look me up if you ever come back this way, or else, hehehe...Keep your chin up--hey, YOU'RE GETTIN OUTTA NEBRASKA SOON! :) What more could you ask for, LOL? Talk to ya soon...-E
from dreamer2003 :
Sarah..I DOUBT he is bailing on you. It's just your mind getting the best of you and blowing things out of proportion like my mind tends to do ALL of the time. I know it's frustrating. :( But you WILL leave NE..I promise you that. A lot of things in life come with no guarantees and uncertainties unfortunately. He's not ditching you. I am sure he is just preoccupied with work..or something else is going on and he has a lot on his mind. You'll get to see Eric. Everything will work out just fine, you'll see. You aren't getting left behind..you are moving forward. You CAN crumble. I am sure that would be a great release for you. It's good you are trying to take your mind off the boy, you need that distraction. Don't be so down..things will look up. Why? because that's what you deserve. Happiness. I love ya hon! *BIG, BIG HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sarah..so am I! and so was Nate. lol. Yeah, hopefully we'll still have fun and that drama will come to an end. I hope you're ok! I missed you. :( I'm gonna read your update now and write back to ya. :)
from dreamin-big :
hello. my name is danae' i was looking for some new people on diaryland. I have been a member for a few months now but havent made too many friends. I really enjoyed your diary. Feel free to read mine anytime you feel like it. Hope to talk to you soon. Love, Danae'
from dreamer2003 :
Aww, sounds like fun. I haven't been to a zoo in ages. May baskets?? Never heard of doing that..lol. Woo hoo! I could use some new shoes too. I am DEATHLY afraid of heels cos I am SUCH a klutz!! Me and heels don't mix. lol. I'm sorry. :( I hope you get to talk to the boy soon. I know it's not easy. Don't be "Blah", everything will be ok!!! SMILE! Well, darlin I luv ya! and am here for you, if you need anything. I hope your day is wonderful. *big hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Yep, that's true. Mmmm bbq sauce. I am getting hungry now..lol. Oh really?? I've never heard of a neck piercing. That fascinates me. lol. Nope, Subway is just subway. lol. Mmm yogurt! I need some food NOW! haha. Yeah, it would be. HOPEFULLY he can make it down here in July. I would love that. Thank you!! My dad's a piece of work. lol. He sucks. I am excited! I can't wait to see how the DVD player will work. lol haha. Aww. Yep, I am not giving up. I refuse to. I can't. I'd be going to Busch Gardens on May 14 & staying overnight. (May 15 is my cousin's birthday). Aww, you are more than welcome to come along. ;) You too. Have a great weekend! Mucho love. <3
from dreamer2003 :
Aww, your family is getting in on the business stuff. How cool! lol. Have fun hanging with Eric! I am sure it will be a blast. What's a "madison?" Sorry, I don't know the piercing lingo..lol. Va beach, huh? Sounds good. :) LOL wow, you and Robifiers will definitely stir up some trouble. I am sure you will enjoy your life..I can't wait til the day I enjoy mine..lol. haha, that is odd that an ice cream place would be near a Subway. Anyhow, I hope your weekend is awesome, babe. Luv ya much! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Awww. :( I'm so glad for re runs. And that Joey is getting his own spinoff. Awww, I am glad I do that. And I hope I make Nate happy..as happy as he makes me. Mmhmm..oh well, I'll try to have fun anyway and not let it put a damper on my trip. I know..but don't worry..all will work out. Well his diary is password protected..I'll ask him if I can give out the pswd to you..if he says yes, I will e-mail you. Love ya! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
LOL that whole pregnancy thing made me crack up. Ignorance..total ignorance. And when I see a guy on TV that says "We're pregnant" I just want to shoot him..lol. *shakes head* I know what it means, but technically that's not accurate. I read on MSN the other day too about those mice. But the whole "not needing a guy" thing won't come into play for awhile. Ah, men one day becoming absolete..who would have thought?? lol. Aww I'm sorry! Next month it will start being that way with me and Nate. With him starting school again, and me probably working and all. Ugh. At least you know you will be moving. lol. You're not evil. There's no crime in wanting more of your boyfriend's time and wanting to just talk to him more. That's perfectly understandable. But think of it this way...when you're with him, finally then you won't have to worry about msg-tag anymore. You'll see each other everyday. :) I wish I was like Summer..lol. But no..I'm shy, afraid to try new things, blah. lol. Summer has great qualities. She'll rock that talent show. :D Eh, we all see ourselves differently than the way others see us. I'm glad you like yourself. You have every reason to. So many people, like me..wish they could be someone else. Good for you. :) You do have an awesome personality..the best. :) Yeah..she already got over it, I think..lol. Yeah, they did make the right choice. It's ok..there will be other jobs, if this one doesn't pan out. I'm not giving up. Thanks! Happy friday to you too, Sarah! Luv ya! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Yep. I think he's done with school around mid next year. I'm not sure because he's starting again next month after not being there since December. But that wasn't his fault. Anyhow, yes they can be a pain. I had my ears pierced at 4..I had a bad reaction and was crying and all that. I think the holes in my ears have closed up. Since then, nothing has been pierced. Yeah, me too. I'm not totally sure but I know it would be with computers and all that. Just your basic office type thing. LOL I am eating soon too. Mmm. Anyhow, take care darlin. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Wow, that's awesome. I'm too scared to get a piercing..lol. Me and that kind of thing don't mix. Hell, my ears aren't even pierced..lol. Awww. :( Nate wants to be a filmmaker, so that's what he's studying. But he's great with computers too as I said. Have an awesome day, chica. <3 ya! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
I didn't know that Yahoo has a new IM! Then again, I never go on Yahoo so how would I know?? lol. Ooh, you on TV, huh? That would be cool. You have your tongue pierced? So does my cousin. His just looks strange though. Well, I hope Rog and your aunt find work. lol you know more about computers than anyone else I've ever met. Including my boyfriend and he knows a LOT. I hope you're sleeping!! take care Sar and have a wonderful day! xoxo <3
from dreamer2003 :
lol you speeding on the highway is definitely not a stretch. Poor Rog. Luckily he got out of it now before things became a LOT worse. Wow. What a damn jip. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. Yikes. Gas is more money here. Ugh, it's terrible. Ewww i know..public restrooms are SO gross! Yuck. lol Be careful Sar!! Awww, you're a great person..of course you'd try and save them. As would I. I hope you're feeling better! Tummy aches suck. :( lol I like to think of scenarios too. Heh. lol That's ok. You're not the only one to think that Karen is my aunt. NOOO thank you! I want to keep my body..lol. It's not worth it. It's ok hon. Love ya much! xoxo Glad Rog is back..at least all will be back to normal. :)
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar. yeah that's true plus my cycle is so messed up. Last month I had my period TWICE in ONE month and now it's late..lol. Hmm. I wish I could take a bath. :( I only have a shower in my bathroom & the tub is in my parents room. Ah well. I'll try not focus on it. Yes, I'll probably have to get it checked out soon. That sounds good. Yeah, I am happy aboot getting out too. My cousin is going to those places, not my aunt. Many people confuse em lol. You must go to vegas! It's awesome. Wow, weird. Yikes. I guess we are all in families like that. LOL Maybe. By then I'll probably already have a job but it's the thought that counts. Thanks, I hope so. Take care sweetie. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Nope, guess not. It's odd cos i got that fwd from you so obviously the system isn't down. hmm. hehe, yesh. But I have a desire to update later. Of course now I have no time again cos my mom is waiting for the computer. *rolls eyes* lol. You better have slept! Uh oh. I hope that's a good thing??? Love ya too. *hugs*
from darkksyd :
Heya...still waitin for that email, hehe...where the heck is Rog off too? Sounds like some place far away...well, I wish him much luck, in any event. Later...
from dreamer2003 :
Nope, didn't get the e-mail yet. :( Maybe I'm not meant to. *shrugs* lol I am positive when it comes to encouraging other people and things like that. When it comes to me and my life I lean more toward the negative side for some reason. You're welcome. :) Awww, me too! I feel the same way. lol I'd like to try a vanilla wafer. Well, I can hardly get online much thanks to my mom, and when I am online I just don't have the desire to update, or I'm talking to Nate. I'll probably update tomorrow. lol You better go do that shtuff. Love ya too. :) *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar. Awww, but you will get used to it. It just needs to set in and it will take some time. As I said, change is not always bad. It needs to happen so life can progress. lol I know what you meant. I'm sure it hurts! She'll be ok and have her mommy. Though a lot of things are changing, you can always count on my friendship and no matter what you're always going to be you. :) Love ya darlin. *big hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Awww, Rog needs this though. It is a change but change can be good once he and everyone else gets used to it. oh sar, Summer will be just fine and adjust then too. And besides, she is coming to be with you after awhile. I say just be with Anthony for awhile and then send her there in the summer, see how it turns out and move her in. Everything will be ok, sweetie. I'm here for you if you need to talk about it or whatever. Like I said, once you're with Anthony you'll probably miss Rog less and focus on him. You'll see that everything's working out for the best. Luv ya babe..and remember always that you're an amazing mom and Summer is lucky to have you!! *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
Aww I loved Selena and that song. So beautiful and so tragic what happened to her. Anyhow, you better be sleeping dammit!!! lol. I'm so glad Anthony got the position. Good! Oh my god..:( I am so sorry to hear about that guy. Everything does happen for a reason and I truly believe Anthony was meant for that position. I'm happy for Rog as well. Awww..:( you'll get used to him not being around. When you do get used to it, you'll be leaving..off to be with your boy! Even better. Yes, Rog needs this. So be happy for him! lol j/k. Yes, Eric sounds kickass. :D Aww, mother's day gifts..how cool. :) Shit, I forgot it's almost coming up..lol. Geez, they both sound like great apts! I don't know. It's a definite toss up. Hmm. *shrugs* lol yeah, they are good at conning you into stuff. Yep, it was funny. Yeah, I got to talk to Nate twice. :D Well Sar, take care and have a wonderful day! Love ya! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
LOL god was that forward hilarious. A nice laugh for 7 am. Just what I needed. Yes, it's time to do for Sarah and for Sarah to get herself some new 'kicks. :) lol. I hope the shopping and dinner goes well! You'll find a great chinese place in KY. Good for you, hon. :D I've got my fingers crossed for Anthony as well. I wouldn't believe in some endorsement on TV. If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. I'm sure Anthony will have no probs with how you look. :) Big screen, eh? I am SO jealous! lol. Have a great weekend, hon. XOXO
from dreamer2003 :
lol Nope, no fun at all. Thanks for trying! If I don't get it, I don't get it. No biggie. Of course I will keep you informed on that though. Awww..:( that's a crappy ass feeling. I hope he gets online soon so you can talk and discuss those places. That happens in relationships..people get let down all of the time. But you two will still get to talk about it I'm sure. lol I hope it works out for ya. Love ya!! *big hugs* <3
from darkksyd :
Hey you, it was a little lonely, but I survived. Nissan has some fucked up wiring on their cars, didn't get the stereo in until after I got home from work, looked on the internet for an hour for wiring diagrams, and then it only took me about an hour. The more they steal, the better I get at installing, I'll give 'em that. I look forward to pics; maybe I'll put them in my yahoo briefcase. Did you find a job down in KY yet? Anyway, take it easy, I'm out. Adios, baybee...
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! I can't believe I haven't gotten that e-mail yet. :( Looks like cox is still down..lol. heh. That is cooL! I'd be happy if my mom was paying me for something too. You can get everything crunched in there, guaranteed. Awww don't be sad. :( I hope you feel better! Have a good one. Love ya!! XOXO
from dreamer2003 :
lol No, not at all since I have quite a bit myself. haha. lol It has that affect on me too. Have a good nap! And yes, I will let you know when I get the e-mail. Love ya too. *many hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
LOL!!! HAHAH! Oh Sarah. What a mind you have..lol. Then again, I am dirty minded too. I knew what ya meant though. lol. Oh ok. Well, I'll let you know when I get it. k, cool. lol thanks again. I really appreciate it. :) ♥
from dreamer2003 :
that's great! At least they won't be able to bug ya anymore since you'll be in a different state. I'll be on the other side of the country. As far as I can get. lol. Hmm I didn't get the e-mail yet. Thanks so much for helping me out. :) Ohh that was Eric? He sounds so smart. =D Take care and good luck hunting..lol. *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Yeah, I guess I should be used to it. lol. She wants me to be as miserable as she is at times. Yes, thank you god! I will be removed from all of this crap. Ah yes..that's a great idea. I don't know why I didn't think of looking online..lol. I think I'll do that today while I talk to Nate. I agree with that person that wrote ya the note..damn punks. Yeah, it should grow back. You're not stuck with that length forever. Thanks! You too. Luv ya! *hugs*
from darkksyd :
No worries, babe, no apologies needed. That's another area I'm kina worried about too...her watching my kids. I know she would never deliberately neglect them or anything, it's just that my son is ALWAYS into something and she, well, is sometimes lackadaisical about keeping on top of things. He IS hell on wheels though; even I have a hard time keeping up with him. Anyway...no problem, no apologies, no more from me for now, I'm gone... wait a minute, YES YES stalk away! NOW I'm gone, laughing all the way...
from darkksyd :
I concur...STUPID ASS PUNKS. This is the problem--these kids have not learned respect yet, respect for other people & other property. Their parents obviously aren't teaching them, and no one else can, since anyone who tries to will be thrown in the clink, eh? Fucking laws. Reminds me of the time in T-town where me & my buddy, while driving my car, chased down these three black kids who decided to toss rocks at it. THAT was fun, hehehe. I'll spin the yarn sometime if you're interested. Sometimes, I think it should go back to being an eye for an eye kinda thing. You know what they used to do to thieves in the old world, don't ya? Thieves walked around without hands, dammit. Hey that gives me an idea...hmmmm...anyway, HEY---even if things 'fall through', like you say, I want ya to go and get your schooling, then do your thing, alright? That's for you, a part of yourself, a part of the dreams you've been dreaming for a long time. No one should stand in the way of that. I'm positive other accomodations can be made if things go south with your Anthony, or in any respect for that matter, you know? So don't let anything stop ya. (Oh, and I've got something for ya too, something to maybe help lighten the load while you're away at school, hehehe.) I'm gonna miss ya, but will try to keep in touch, and I'll be happy for you, knowing you're out there running down your dreams. Okay. Alright, I'm out. Like they say...holla!
from dreamer2003 :
Oh my! That was bold and brave to chop off most of your hair. If I did that, people wouldn't even know who I am..lol. I can't live without my long locks, but that's just me. lol Wow, that kid was scared of Rog. Ha, thought they were all tough til Rog came along. Ooh yeah, mercury cougars are great cars. It's not a crazy idea. I'd love to tag along. :) Well anyhoo, have a great day Sar. Luv ya. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
You're welcome! And thank you too. :) Yes, it is very cool and gets me through my days. lol haha. yeah. The card was adorable and definitely worth the wait. I'll have to get going today. I'm looking for an office type job. I love being around computers so I just want to do filing or computer work. That's my thing. Thanks for the offer. :) Aww, thank ya. I'll keep that in mind. You too, Sar. Thanks again! Love ya. *big hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Happy belated anniversary, chica! That's awesome. A happy thought for me too is that for me and Nate's 23rd month and on we'll be together. :) The months do fly by so fast it's amazing. Today is me and Nate's 19 month anniversary. I've never been in a relationship for this long so I am just in awe..lol. Yay! I am sure you'll have fun seeing places like that. I hope you feel better soon, Sar!!! love ya! *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
I hope you feel better soon too, hon. :( Ugh, that doesn't sound good at all. You better get lots of rest!! Aww, I'm glad that Summer is happy and got good stuff. lol Val was just looking out for you, which was sweet. Being a protective bro. lol. I'm glad your family is being so supportive. You definitely need that and it always helps. Aww, I think that was thoughtful on your mom's part. I guess you just have to grin and bear it..anything for money, huh? lol. Anyway, thanks! I'm happy about it. It's about time we stepped into the millenium..lol. I don't know either. It sucks having to rely on a VCR player. LOL awww! how cute. :) Thanks. That means a lot to me and I know you're sincere. Know that that offer goes both ways, that I'm always here for you too. Thanks for that note. :) Again, feel better!! *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
Yay! Happy birthday to Summer! =)
from dreamer2003 :
Yikes! I hope the area near your folks didn't sustain any damage. That is some scary stuff. Oh lord! I'd be freaking shitting pills if that happened to me..lol. Awww. :( I understand. She should respect your wishes though instead of trying to steal money from you!! Same with me. When I'm not sleeping well I seem to remember my dreams better. Odd. Yep, happens to me too. Sometimes dreams can predict the future. Really?? hmm. LOL you'd be great on that show. Oh boy, I am sure anthony would love that..haha. Yes, you did pull through and came out alive. lol. Oh well, that's just the way it goes. :( I'll still get to talk to him though. Not really. Just heated up chicken and make rice. Where's my culinary award? LOL riiight. Take care sar. Luv ya too! Have a great week! *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
Wow! You POOR thing!! YIKES! I'm sure you'll NEVER forget that party! lol. Yikesss. What a mess. I hope you're sleeping right now!!! Don't worry, that entry made perfect sense. Well, the party is over now and the important thing is you all survived..lol. I hope today is great for you darlin..you need the day to just rest and relax. Take care! Luv ya! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
LOL oh my god. Of all the things that could go wrong..*shakes head* lol Go you for stealing the ring! Yay! :D Oh geez, I really doubt anything ELSE can go wrong concerning this party. But the thing is, things always work out for it in the end..as you've noticed. That was nice of your mom to split the cost with you. :) Mmm ice cream. I have a craving for it. Send a gift certificate my way! haha. Aww, yes..so you'll have all those memories to cherish. lol I kinda knew you'd know the answer to that psychopath thing. Not that you ARE one or anything of the sort..hehe. You're just into death and all that. Anyhow, I hope the party goes just as planned! Take care darlin and have a good one. xoxo congrats for pretty much pulling everything off. :) Sum has a great mommy! ;)
from dreamer2003 :
lol me either. I love pizza. Aww, well if my mom was there she'd definitely bowl. That's pretty much her life..lol. haha..you're like a rock. I've been there so I know how tough it is to hold everything together and to be depended on for everything..it wears you down physically and emotionally. Yeah, it will. Sometimes I like stormy weather but not EVERY single day. Yikes. lol Yes, send a pizza over. That would be great. Thank you! FINALLY someone agrees with me!! lol. Woo hoo! Thank the lord. haha. Have a great nap! Take care miss Sar. rhymed, wow! heh. *hugs* <3
from dreamer2003 :
Uh oh..what a fiasco! :( It seems like everything that could go wrong with her party is going wrong. Yikes. Whew..at least Cakery can do it. :D Wow, you guys are all going to be 'pizzad' out..lol. Wow, you are a bussyy girl. They are giving you all kinds of things to do!! No, it doesn't make you sound evil. You have first dibs after all..you were the one to look up the places for YOU and anthony. Yes, that is nice of you. :) Mmm ribs! Yum! Anyhow, lol it's not hard to hide a ball. I'm sure you'll succeed. Yeah, when everything is taken care of you won't be so stressed anymore. Eh, my day was alright. Nothing special. Take care darlin and have a good one! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Awwww..that's never a good thing when an entry is started off that way. :(:( Oh geez, parents are always good at turning things around. She should blame your bro for not coming through! Well, I know YOU'LL pull through because you want your daughter and her friends to be happy. I hope it all works out! It wasn't your fault..of course you know that. Ugh, you can't depend on too many people these days. Ah, reading on I see that the pizza situation is taken care of. Very cool. :D That's great that you don't tolerate shit. I have the habit of letting people walk all over me. NOT cool. heh. LOL haha..silver pubes. Dear lord. Well at least he was friendly. lol. You'll get it all done..I know it. Everything will get taken care of. Oh about the green ball...I picked out a ball and then when I was done with it, I just snatched it up and put it in my mom's bowling bag...lol. No one noticed of course. It was very easy. And I just walked out and that was it. Sure I felt guilty, but who cares.. I needed a ball! haha. Damn dland! Ah well..my update wasn't anything completely major anyway. haha. Anyhoo, I hope your day is great Sar. <3 ya!
from dreamer2003 :
I love the new layout! :) It definitely fits you and your personality very well. Thumbs up! Wow, your own funeral home, eh? Sounds good and is very ambitious. God knows you're strong and can handle anything thrown at you. I know you can too. :) Life will calm down for you, I promise. Anyhoo, ah that's ok. I'm used to not getting a lot of notes lately..lol. I know you're stressed but it won't be this way forever. Things will go back to normal. Ugh, the day was crap but whatever. *shrugs* Aww, I want a tigger ball! I have a ball that was stolen from the bowling alley..LOL. I'm horrible. It's green..and I love green. Just plain green though. I'm not peeling so much now. :D I hope the boy is ok! Take care miss sar. <3 ya. xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hey! Aww, well at least you had a pretty decent easter minus the whole questioning bit. I don't blame you for keeping your guard up and being suspicious..I would be too. You're doing the right thing. And I agree with you..I only want kids by my future husband. You've been careful and you are smart, so your folks have nothing to worry about. Anyhoo, I hope your week is great Sar. Love ya! *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey hon..ah, procrastination..evil! Evil I tell you..lol. I agree with you though, a washer/dryer would be the best thing. I hope you guys can come to some sort of compromise. Yeah, it's a holiday so maybe you should wait til next week to make calls. Everything will work out. :) lol Some people are just so insanely stupid. *Shakes head* Anyhoo, I hope you have a very happy easter, Sarah. *hugs* <3
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! Well most likely Rog was being short with you out of aggravation about the job apps. I hope for your sake he finds something soon because you do have to be there a little while longer. Man, I can relate..I can't wait until I'm out of this environment too. Aww, I know what you mean. When I move..I want to bring a lot of things to me that will remind me of who I am. That is totally understandable for you to be feeling that way. I hope you can take Mokah with you! Wow, it sounds like your relationship with your grandma was close knit. That's wonderful. I sometimes do that with my own grandma. Thing is, I can't visit her grave since it's all the way in NY. You know..you can go for a drive and visit her grave when you feel you need to. Even though you'll be in another state. I think it would be worth the trip. And you can still talk aloud to her when you need advice and need to vent..or you can talk in your head..lol. Your grandma is still with you..even though you'll be moving. That's a calming thought. Good luck with calling the places! MM smores are so damn good! Nah, he probably wouldn't think of it as a burden. Eh, my sunburn is just peeling like crazy now..it's really itchy and annoying. Gah! Have a great easter weekend too. *big hugs* <3
from dreamer2003 :
WOWWWW! You've broken me and Nate's record..for sure. Aww, it sounded like a fun, good conversation. I'm happy for you! I'd love to get all of that stuff done to me..to feel truly girly. Summer would probably love that. :D Aww Devin sounds sooo adorable. Thank you! I thought it was about time to update. heh. Yep, the sun was VERY wicked. Yikess! I've been using aloe, yep. It's helping a bit..I'm starting to heal but it's still burning. :( My skin is fair too. grr! Hell yeah..I'm glad we're getting to talk everyday. Eh, you don't ALWAYS have to be strong. I think it would do you wonders if you weren't so strong all of the time. lol uh oh. Nate obviously reads my diary but it doesn't bother me. *shrugs* LOL oh geez, I'm sure Anthony will forgive that though. You're entitled to your opinion. Yes it has. Well take care babe. thanks for the note! Love ya and have a great day. *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
Oh Sarah. :( You're allowed to be aggravated or frustrated. Sounds like a whole mess! But since you are moving to be with him you do have to make sacrifices unfortunately. Yikess. Well, I hope this all gets taken care of and that you're able to bring Mokah along and get all of that car stuff worked out. Hang in there..once you're actually there all of this frustration will probably come to an end. Keep telling yourself that Anthony is worth it. Everything will be ok! I'm here for you and remember..no shame in crying and showing your true emotions. *HUGS* Love ya!
from dreamer2003 :
My back is killing me too. :( Now..if only my Nate could give me a massage. Grr! I hope you're feeling better! A bat? Wow, that would be certainly different and interesting. I'm sure you can get away with bringing a pit bull in there. lol Exactly..I hope he admitted that you were right all along. You guys will find something. Don't freak out. Aww, tigger! How adorable. :) Well anyhow, take care Sar and have a great day. *big hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Aww, you're not 'robbing Summer of a childhood.' It's your job as a parent to teach her the truth about such things. I think you did a good thing. She is old enough to know what's real and what's not. Ah, you guys are getting into spring cleaning basically. Not fun! But necessary. I should do that myself when I recover from this stupid sunburn. Bleh. Wow, I guess you really do have your ex to thank. See, everything happens for a reason. If you didn't meet your ex, you wouldn't be where you are today and learned the lessons you've learned. Closure is important. :) lol haha. He doesn't really like hand contact near his ass so when I see him again I'll find some other way of punishing him. ;) lol. Yeah, it does help. Unfortunately yesterday we didn't get to talk for very long though. :( Argh. He's holding up the same as me pretty much. We miss each other a whole lot and really need each other and he's sad too. But I THINK we're both past the crying stage. I'm not sure when exactly in August I'm going to be there, living with him so the tracker is a no go for now. Plus, it's just tooo far away. Aww, I'm glad Summer's excited. :o) lol Aw, ok. Well sar, I hope you have a great day! Love ya!
from dreamer2003 :
DST is messing with me too..grr. Aww, I think every couple talks about gross stuff like that. Even Nate & I have talked about some sick things..lol. I'm so glad you two got to talk again too and I hope you guys get to this weekend as well. Poor Summer. :( Stuff like that just happens though. At least she'll have her best friend there, like you said. I hope she makes the most of the party. I'm glad things are back to normal for you guys too. :) Eh, I'm holding up ok I guess. I have my moments where I'm truly so sad and missing Nate so much but that's to be expected. I've gotten to talk to Nate lately, yep. The last time we talked was yesterday afternoon and we're talking this morning. Well one prank was that he was cheating on me with some girl online that he knows I dislike, but I KNEW he was kidding..the other prank which I fell for was that his sister is really his daughter. That he had her when he was 20 and that his parents are helping him raise her. It's believable because she isn't his real sister..she's adopted. I really bought it for a while until he said "I have something else to tell you." so I said "Oh god, what?" So then he just started cracking up cos I got so upset. lol. At that point I knew it was a joke. The only reason of why that happened cos we were watching this show with kids in it and then out of the blue he said "I'd want kids..again." so of course I said "HUH?" lol. Whew..what a relief to know that was a joke. Heh. You too babe. Take care and have a great week! Love u! *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
I'm so happy for you..and so jealous! heh. It's all coming down to the wire now. :) Which is awesome. You deserve each other. Everything seems like it's going to work out great with the living situation. Good for you! Well miss Sarah, know that I couldn't be more excited for you and I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
You're very welcome! I have no doubt that it will. You two are meant to be. haha, yep. I was going to get him back but I decided against it. Aww thanks..I am, a little bit. I hope your weekend rocks! <3 ya lots! *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
I totally agree with you Sar. I think a woman should have the choice to do what she wishes with her body. It's not fair that something like that is acceptable for a male but not for a female. I'm behind you 100%! Nate tried pranks on me..of course they worked but I never got him back. Darnit! lol. Aww I'm glad Summer's doing so fantastic. She's a smartie. I bet that will come true someday..I can see you and Anthony getting married. One day Brad will get it that you two are over and you're never coming back to him..one day..lol. Anyhoo, awww thanks..you're so right. I'll always have the memories..even time can't change that. I know. :) Thanks..you're right. Thanks for ALWAYS knowing what to say to make me feel better. Have a great weekend hon! Luv ya bunches! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
Hey! Yes, I am. Unfortunately..lol. The one thing that is making me happy about being back is I get the time (for now) to write you guys back and read your updates. That's 'bout it..lol. Aww, I'm sorry. :( It just didn't work out. The one time that I was online I wasn't feeling well so I only felt up to reading updates & not writing one. But hopefully when I recover emotionally there will be one. I am so sad. :( He is too. It's really tough. *Sigh* But we'll get through this and then we'll see each other again soon enough. Aww thanks, I'll keep that in mind. You know I'm here for you too. And I loved reading your updates. :D I love ya too. Have a great day, sweets. *big hugs* <3
from dreamer2003 :
SARAH! I missed you! I just got myself caught up on your updates. :) I'm SOOO glad you FINALLY got to talk to the boy. That's great news. Shiiit..my mom just got in so I have to cut this short. I'll be back tomorrow though. I just wanted to let you know that I missed you & that I'm back. Okie dokie..well take care and Love ya! *HUGS*
from annachan :
hey i haven't been here in awhile. i hope things are good. hope you don't get that cold and things work out with brad okay. see ya babe.
from tigerpat :
I love morturary science. It is so interesting isnt it? I wish you the best on your career endevours and I enjoy your journal.
from dreamer2003 :
lol Actually, this morning my mom bought donuts so I'm all covered. More wouldn't hurt though...lol. Coffee upsets my tummy but I can't get enough of it! You best be sleeping! OR ELSE! lol just kidding. Luv ya too, Sarah. Have a great day! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
lol yes, i'd LOVE a donut. Nah, they wouldn't think so. Who cares! I want my donut! lol. I'm a coffee person. :D
from dreamer2003 :
MMM you lucky bleep! lol j/k. I want one so badly. :( You poor thing. I think you'll get used to it too after a while.
from dreamer2003 :
Yes yes. :D I'm glad I got everything done early. haha, I'm so used to getting up early. I used to do this everyday for school anyway. Wow! Damn! LOL yeah, I love thinking up those things..and dammit, Now I want a donut too! LOL.
from dreamer2003 :
I'm always up this early..for pretty much NO reason at all..lol. Well, I do have to update soon and mornings ARE the only time I have a chance to so I guess I wake up early for that reason. lol God, I know..yes, I'd much rather be a cave chick..just have a lot of body hair and not having to deal with shaving and all that..lol. I'd rather be a guy sometimes for that reason. ALMOST packed..I have laundry to do today and some last minute items to pack in the morning and then I'll be all set. : )
from dreamer2003 :
*DROP* lol You can see how tired I am. heh.
from dreamer2003 :
An update..woo hoo! EWW that is gross! That's incest. A big no no. I'm glad the girl's money finally came! That's great. Aww, I guess you'll have to wait on sleep til you frop Summer off. :( Well, have a great day gurlie!
from dreamer2003 :
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! lol. I'm so freaking excited! Well, my plane takes off at 10:05. That's pretty early. I get there around 1:30 so I get to spend a good chunk of the day with him which is nice. :) Yep, I got my brows done. OUCH! Is the one word I can think of..lol. The lady kept telling me to relax. I was so very tense and my leg was slightly shaking..lol. I'm just glad that's over with. Aww that's good. We didn't even get rain. :( The only time it rained was early on in the morning. I HOPE we get some rain today. Lucky you! I'd prefer snow over rain. I'm so sorry that you didn't get to talk to the boy. :( I hope you guys get to talk soon! Even though I'll be away, I'll try and read your updates from time to time. You better be sleeping! lol. Awww, thanks Sar! I'll miss you too. But I'll still be lurking around here sometimes..whenever I have a chance. Take care, hon. *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
Hey Sar! I was starting to wonder what happened to you. So nice to see an update. :) I've never had gumbo. Now I'm wondering what it tastes like..lol. Awww, see..he's being helpful and he's proud of you. I hope you get some sleep soon! Yikes. I hope you're feeling better. :( Tummy aches suck ass. Good luck with the listings! I'm always spending my days charging my phone too. Damn battery!!! grr! I hope you get to talk to the boy too. Take care and have a great week! Luv ya!! xoxo
from dreamer2003 :
yes it sure does! :D Thanks..I know i'm incredibly lucky..all thanks to my too wonderful for words boyfriend!! aww hehe, you're more than welcome to come along. lol yes, I did. Wow, you are a BRAVE chick!! lol. Ouchies. I don't even get my nails done. I'm girly, but not overly girly..I like short nails on me. lol Your wish is my command..you will see lotts and lots of pics..til your eyeballs fall out of their sockets. haha! Thank you! I'm excited too, Sar! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, hon! Love ya 2. *HUGS*
from dreamer2003 :
Yesh, thankies! I love getting stuff done early so I don't have to worry about it later on and can relax. I HATE my cell phone battery. It's the worst ever. I can leave it on for like 5 mins and a quarter of the battery will already be gone..or I can have it charged all night and then call someone and a lot of the battery is gone. Good phone, but bad battery. lol The bowling was a lot of fun times. You're always invited. =D Really? Wow, weird. Then again both my mom and aunt are married to a Steve..strange, huh? lol. I go to this chinese place and a chinese lady does my brows. I really don't know her name. Wow, that's less than how much it costs to have your brows done here. I'm too lazy to pluck them..lol. I tried but it hurts like a bitch..as does waxing. heh. You can't win. Armpits? OUCH!!! lol. I'd never want 'that' region waxed. I'd be crying and screaming like crazy. It's too sensitive..too many nerves down there. Nooo lol. Only thing I'm getting waxed is my eyebrows. Yes, shaving is painless. I'm hungry too. Grr. Take care doll and have a great day! *hugs*
from dreamer2003 :
Ah, I see you deleted all of your notes. Very cool. Awww, that's ok..that sleep you got was much needed. There's no need to feel uncomfortable! Silvino loves you. He'd love seeing you. MM I'd like to have some cajun food myself. It's so much better to work for yourself..you don't have to answer to anyone. I'm so proud of you too. :) Aww! you're a good mommy! lol. That was so cute!! Very good tactic! Aww I was really starting to love this layout and now you're changing it. :( Ah well, I'm sure you'll find something even better. Take care sweets and I hope you have a great day and weekend too!! xoxo

back to blakkrayn's profile
recommend this diary to a pal?

Other diaries starting with the letter:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

Back to Diaryland

Recently updated
fatalbreath annanotbob2 glorycloud nepenthean estar7 peachfront jimbostaxi catsoul strawberrri msafire saltego nueces raven72d hitch-hike linguafranca kenny-loo jim515 curious-me art-thug jrminor absurniverse ericg chucksosa gr8legs daath missmaggie03 browndamask simeons-twin secret-motel happyone
News
update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

Sign up for paid membership if you want!

Users online
kestra swordfern