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messages to btchelicious:
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from kingbastard :
Hello again. Remember me and amazing diary here at Diaryland? Remember when I used to post shit up here all time? And remember when yesterday you thought, "Where is that delightful KingBastard?" I'll tell you where he is... on his own goddamned web-site, ya filthy animal! Go www.marksbeefs.com and read my stuff. I broke the surly chains of Diaryland and am kicking the internets ass. Enjoy my shit!
from thecritic :
Oh I love Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show those movies have such a weird dry wit I can't help but enjoy them.
from gods :
are you canadian or something?
from gods :
you haven't done anything wrong, at least in some of our opinions :)
from z0tl :
bizzatchy, soony tells me i can leave you low riderz (notes with dirrty inflexions and below the belt), he prolly lies thru lawyer teeth, but i yike you anyways, so lemme hit the ground running here: YOU FUCKIN BEYATCH BETTER ADD ME AS A FAVE YOU KNO I"M A LINK WHORE AND I SWALLOW FROM ANYONE WHO RESISTS ADDING ME!!!! whoa... i hope that came across like all mean and stuff :)
from idiot-milk :
Signmyguestbook is a stupid piece of rectal tissue. BASTARDS! I'M NOT TRYING TO SIGN AGAIN, YOU FUCKS! YOU WOULDN'T LET ME SIGN THE FIRST TIME! Ahem. ANYway...That was *sniff* the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me! Well. Except for that one time when the homeless guy asked if he could blow his load all over my tits. I was pretty fucking flattered, I must admit. But other than THAT, it was the sweetest thing ever!
from sooner :
Oh, Bitchy. I wish I was having the puddin wrassle with you because I'm lonely and bored. If you noted me, I wouldn't be sad.
from cumwithme :
the peeing the bed entry was hilariously erotic...lol
from sooner :
wait. I thought I was your lawyer.
from whyihateyou :
I HATE YOU SO MUCH IT MAKES MY CUTICLES POKE OUT OF THEIR LITTLE HOME UNDER MY SKIN, YOU COOTER-HOLE! SO, JUST, FUCK YOU, OK? FFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK YYYYYOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!
from sooner :
Bitchy, let's save the trash talking for Saturday, when I shall shower you in curses and kick you squarely in the balls with a boot covered in pudding.
from sooner :
no, they understand only ownership. Like infants hording their toys they bray "mine!" and expect you to believe them. They must be stopped.
from sooner :
I am not lamecore! It's not my word, ok? It's someone else's word and if I used it I'd be a stealer, which I'm not, ok? But I might be co-lame-re, that's a possibility.
from mr-sparkles :
Your ass is delectable. SHOW ME WHAT YOU TWORKIN' WITH!
from xtragicflaw :
dieapainfuldeathskankywhoredontsayimlamecorewhenitisntyourword.ihopeyouhadfunreadingorshouldisaytryingtoreadthis!! bye bye LOSER
from whyihateyou :
my tits are fucking bursting with hate milk because of you. I HATE YOU SO MUCH I'M FUCKING LACTATING WITH HATE! I'M HAVING A HATE-LACTATION, YOU EAR FUCK!
from shawntasy :
but. I don't understand. why doesn't it censor me? it should censor me. I need it to censor me!!!
from shawntasy :
tell me i'm not crazy
from shawntasy :
lmao!!!! every diary I go to with one of those fricken tagboards censors me! they really do! i'm not crazy. well, i'm not!
from peth :
oh, i just put a huge pic in your book and it won't show up and i can't even apologise for it there, damn and consternation.
from z0tl :
see? see how confusion is created in this d*land coz of terseness? i had no idea you might be referring to your tag board, until now, and now that i got this idea, even tho it might not be correct, i have to respond like this: that tag is for mommy vyv, not you. ty :z
from z0tl :
you're excused. i was under a confused impression. sorry :z
from z0tl :
who are you & what were you before?
from peth :
you are nearing your 100th entry. and i don't mean yo' ass.
from sooner :
the z man says many things. Many of them are cuntlicious.
from peth :
Debra Ann's got a tiger in her hips.
from pezpunka :
Swak.
from peth :
wow, Sooner sure was surprised when he found us making out on his divan. I'm glad we didn't do the bedroom, he had all his dirty clothes strewn around the bed, and the pheromones were too overwhelming, I might have fainted with desire and such.
from peth :
tonight, we break into Sooner's home and wait for him to return.
from hapithoughts :
YOU DOOOOO!!! it must be only rich americans who can afford the healthcare who have gotten it so far. it's like bribing the grim reaper!!! what a system?1/1?!!?1/1
from hapithoughts :
ahha, according to recent sources, you ahve more cases than we do. less deaths. in fact, no deaths. but go here: http://content.health.msn.com/content/Article/62/71672.htm# and you can check out which countries it's in and which states, etc. FUN!!! LETS ALL DIE!!!
from hapithoughts :
HA!!! you don't need me to worry about bringing it down there, you have it already!!! HAHHAHA!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!11!1!!1!
from hapithoughts :
hahhaha! yay then. i am going to kill everyone in toronto. god i hate these people. also, working sucks. i wish i could surf. i just hunted down some chocolate. mmmm.
from herkinerf :
Wasn't personal. Found a grammatical error on the mirror site, made the change, uploaded the fix at dland, too. Forgot about the note I added with the link to you. Will add one on the next entry. No I swear...pleeeease don't send more people to hate my note page. I give...I GIVE!!! ;-p
from elvisload :
oops...it was only locked for like 1 second....my gawd..am i that necessary...i should never click new and strange buttons...
from scanzilla :
Who told you about me?
from hapithoughts :
but i dont understand!!! also, i swear to baby jesus that if you don't wear those blue underwear to boston in june i'm going to be very upset.
from herkinerf :
Heh. Another alteration has taken place. I trust you shall find this satisfactory.
from herkinerf :
I altered the entry because a) after reading it this morning, I felt that it sounded a wee bit too premenstrual-whiny and b) all it would do was keep things going. I started the journal a year ago in an attempt to hone my writing skills and to make people laugh, not to be political. It was simply a judgment call. :)
from peth :
I think sometimes Jesus is a chick, but i'm not sure. I'll ask my pastor.
from sooner :
I wish Jesus was a chick.
from o1hitcharlie :
I'z a trouble maker. :)
from heckafresh :
Hey, ASSFACE! Get a clue about your war junk! Obviously you can't spell or do math or else you would realize how wrong you are about everything that you think and say! People like you are the problem with everything.
from evil-reviews :
Love Gary Coleman.
from evil-reviews :
I will review once the site is up! Until then I shall finish fucking this 9 year old girl. xoxo
from peth :
pussy!
from hapithoughts :
hahahha!!! i've got you now!!! BWHAHAHHAHHA!!! dude, i'm just excited to be getting more signings now. i was lacking, you know? and while the tag is fun, it's not the same really. oatmeal is good for facials. mmmm :)
from scanzilla :
69 times seems to do the trick for me normally.
from scanzilla :
See normally I don't think I'm ugly, but I think that's because I never see myself in public. I look old, too skinny, I need more hair, my face is boney, someone quick, shove a bag over my head! Oy. I think Crystal dates me as a charity case type of thing. She feels bad that I look like a crack head skank. I need chocolate.
from scanzilla :
My dogs ass smells like goat cheese! OMG! LOFL!!! :)
from peth :
somehow, you are both cool and hott
from peth :
liquid sky!
from elvisload :
going to a gym is like sticking ur whole mouth into the dip...just dip once and end it...!
from scanzilla :
You're too nice Bitchy. I'm gonna drink shots out of your naval.
from peth :
faint rubber skunk
from peteandray :
People like you give America a bad name, you know. And quit stealing Ray's clippers, you aren't fooling anyone with that purse trick.
from vyv-xx :
I've spent the last few days practicing how to write your name in the snow with my poo.
from scanzilla :
That's okay bitchy, people suck, it's not your fault. Puddles!
from btchelicious :
AWWRIGHT! HOT GUY ON GUY ACTION.
from scanzilla :
Voiceofevil can suck my ballsack.
from voiceofevil :
Scanzilla tries too hard.
from scanzilla :
You have no idea how much I love eating 16 year old vag holes!
from scanzilla :
Smarties are good. I use to have Shampoo that smelled like Smarties candy. MMmmMmm
from scanzilla :
soakcockball is my favorite sport, I love the way it dribbles up and down the court.
from scanzilla :
I'm thinking we should knit each other lovely laced doylies to pass the time. I'll use my soak stick as a knitting needle.
from blandman :
You just don't like cat poops. They are fascinating. Sometimes they are rock hard. Sometimes they are squishy. Sometimes they have worms. They usually have odors making you wish you didn't have to breathe. It's a negative fascination. They are fascinatingly horrible.
from sooner :
Yes, well, I am mad at you too! I wouldn't even read your helpful message if you crazy glued my retinas to it, ok? That's how mad at you I am.
from peteandray :
God damn it, why can't you just leave decent people alone? It's because of people like you that I have to beat my roommate.
from idiot-milk :
He's dead? huh. Who knew? I really should, like, pay attention to shit once in a while.
from peth :
remember when we dyed the pineapple blue, just like Specimen did?
from elvisload :
let's get serious...u can't get to anywhere from mars...
from n-poledancer :
how long does it take to drive from mars to philly? are we there yet?
from elvisload :
how long does it take to drive to philly from california...should i keep my eyes on the road...
from habbit :
hey ms. bitchy, how long does it take to get to philly from nyc? is it feasible to come out for the day? the mutter museum looks GREAT! isn't there a huge marcel duchamp collection in philly too?
from voiceofevil :
I miss the evil duckies.
from satchmo3 :
leave it to you to mess up the guestbook! damn you!
from hapithoughts :
hey!!! :(
from scanzilla :
Pffft back to her! She's all yours.
from hapithoughts :
pffffffffff, fucker. dude, i don't think that he ever does any work. seaweed. hmmm. consider me officially stolen ;)
from scanzilla :
Crystal's crotch smells like seaweed though. I just happen to like sushi. :)
from scanzilla :
I'm scared to go into your guestbook, cause Christian is on the loose with gay porn. I will say, I'm in some needing of your perfect ass however. :)
from elvisload :
check my page for the entiiiiiiiiiiiirrreeeeee eyeball eating story....and ty for leaving me a note...ur my firstest one...then leave me another note...this is how i calculate my self worth...
from sooner :
trainwrecks all around.
from elvisload :
i ate an eyeball one time...i thru this pig party in college whereby i buried a pig in a pit...u no deep pit pig...and as host i felt obligated to eat the pigs eyeball once he was unearthed...btchelicious i'm here to tell you....i almost puked...it was horrible...the texture being the worst of several bad sensations...so there u have it...i ate an eye...and i will never eat another one...wow it just occurs to me...i'm leading a surreal life...we don't need no stinking eyeballs...
from youscareme :
i didn't ask for your suggestions.
from youscareme :
i am not dealing myself into anything. it is a pre-emptive strike against the chaos and madness of last summer. that is all.
from tanked :
lame. you didn't get my sarcasm. all of you need a serious reality check. wtf...lovepuddles? a lawyer named princess? are all of you for real? GROW UP.
from lovepuddles :
B*tchy, I have decided to ignore all these teenagers who will never be loved by models. They are totally bringing me way way down and there's no reason for someone like me, who is marrying a model in a princess perfect wedding, should be down. No reason I can think of anyway. So try not to like let them get you down either, ok? It's like they're totally not worth it or something.
from tanked :
HHAHAH...this internet drama is GREAT.
from imnotblind :
Seriously. The girl claims her name is PRINCESS. You actually believe that?? And the shit about her being a lawyer...I'm sorry, but there is no way in hell that girl would ever make it. Can you picture her trying to defend someone? "Like, totally, ya know??? Because, that's like, totally what married people DO." Simply pathetic. You're making an ass out of yourself by defending her.
from daramane :
Hey hey. I'm just a random person here to blah on Princess, too. Why not, eh? She thinks she's a lawyer. I'm sorry, but people have enough sense to keep people like her OUT of a courtroom. Well, see ya!
from imnotblind :
Come on, you aren't really friends with that sickeningly pathetic excuse of a human being called "Princess," are you? Because I, for one, think it's all a fucking riot. Yes, I did start it, and I can remind people of that myself, thanks.
from jen69 :
sorry it's late but hope you had a very good birthday.
from blandman :
Topic Winners: habbit, peth, bitchy. The contest isn't OVER. Vote for one of these three for the best overall essay!
from satchmo3 :
oh my god like LOL!!!!!!!!!!
from pitty-sing :
You should always be naked in your diary.
from blandman :
The contest is OVER. No one entered an entry in "2) Why I'm a liar and I can't really be trusted" essay topic. Only bitchy entered the "4) Things I would like to see someone eat but I would NEVER eat" topic. BUT we have some good competition in the remaining two topics. Essayists, habbit and cracklaugh are battling over "1) Why I like money". There is fierce competition for the "3) My most socially disturbing and offensive opinion.". That competition is just delicious. See http://blandman.diaryland.com/EssayVoting.html for voting directions! Also see my note to you essayists at: http://blandman.diaryland.com/Contestants.html
from ghostie :
Sorry to hear about your break up - you must be heartbroken. Now, about that ass picture. . . .
from ghostie :
I asked Superniguer but he just called me a cracker and accused me of playing "the race card." What the hell does that mean?
from ghostie :
There's an ass picture? Why am I only now hearing about this?
from superniguer :
your notes are fecal matter.. your ass pic is the only leverage u have in this crucial juncture in our relationship..
from vyv-xx :
Welcome to the eco-hygiene diaryring.
from scanzilla :
I don't have time. I just link out of common curtesy. I spend most of my day looking at reports and sipping coffee.
from superniguer :
not particularly
from superniguer :
because there wasn't an ass pic
from hapithoughts :
yeah.
from vyv-xx :
I can't see it either. It be broken. But t'was only a pic of Funyuns Onion flavored rings. I've almost finished the bag, and I'm still not feeling anything. As soon as the fascist guestbook stops giving me the "Oops", I'll put a big shiny cock in there for you.
from vyv-xx :
I might have to take a shit at one point, but, yes I will be there.
from girlwcurls :
yeah lol.. he is. i think he just has a diary to provoke people >> and some people will get angry, but he can't even express his ignorance in coherent sentences, so he doesn't bother me. anyways, have a happy new year :-)
from girlwcurls :
you got a random note from 'superniguer' too? he deleted my replies as well.. i wonder how he found my diary? oh well. nice diary, i bookmarked it.
from superniguer :
send your pic over
from scanzilla :
I've seen bitchy suck a cock hole dry in less than a minute, and that's only from being high on soda carbonation. Yeah her ass is real easy and she loves to sucky sucky.
from scanzilla :
Please ask your husband to rehearse the following lines: "If I even think about touching my cock I'll cum" "Fuck your asshole is so tight, It's like fucking an ant hill" "OGGHHHHH my cock!" "GEEEAAA you like that huh!?" and "Oh I'm gonna cum all over your feet." Thank you.
from hapithoughts :
and i meant "lush" not luch.
from hapithoughts :
we can't hire you if you're a luch, union by law 34.6785. also, scan and i will be taking private shots in the private room with our privates, privately. however, we will make sure that we witness your steamyness and discuss it in detail, privately, later. did we sort scan out yet about your husband not playing a corpse anymore?
from scanzilla :
Hot girl on girl action will be expected. Ya know alot of muff rubbing, titty sucking, fingering, double sided dildo shots. However Crystal and I will actually be in the porn, except for footage we edit in our training class. We're dual director's and I'm also producing and doing most camera work.
from vyv-xx :
Ooh! Bitchy, make sure you get scan to put in your contract that you get to do an anal fisting with me, kay?
from scanzilla :
The pay will be worked out in your contract. It will most likely be a small amount, but a percent of the proceeds from sales will be giving to you. Plus stock options and oral exams.
from scanzilla :
Your application has been reviewed, and your screen tests have shown positive results. You've been hired. You're husband will perform the role of dead corpse, with his tongue out. The role of you and a few other will be to be clad in leather, except panties. You will each sit on his face and say things like "Oh your dead tongue is sooo long and hard, I love my ass pipe being jammed with corpse tongue" We'll work out the dialogue when you get to our studio. We look forward to working with you.
from hapithoughts :
THATS PERFECT!!! i just got a call from our previous girl's asses licker's agent, turns out he tested positive for herpes simplex two, and we can't have a herpes mouth on set our the union will raise a big fat stink. he's got the part as far as i'm concerned. maybe we shoudl run it by scan. also, i need to see an imprint of his teeth marks in an ass, i was thinking of getting in a few artistic slow mo shots of some violence. purely for art and not because i like seeing peoples husbands bit girls asses, i swear.
from hapithoughts :
okay, your husband can be in it. i think vyv's is just doing a cameo... but as yours has a diary, maybe he can just play the part of the rotting corpse the necropheliac goes to work on.
from scanzilla :
Okay, We got your fax. The lines are negotiable for the most part, but I must insist on the following line being said. "I want you stick of butter to melt in me" I have to keep up artistic integraty.
from scanzilla :
Crystal and I are making a moresome movie called: The Dlander Suck Fuck Fest '03. We'd like you to be the "taking it in the ass, while giving a blowjob" actress. Please send a resume.
from scanzilla :
Yeah I look like a goon huh? :) Goon is a funny word. I like sick better. ;)
from vyv-xx :
It isn't as simple as that. This is going to take months, maybe even years, of back-breaking research. I'm going to have to make complex charts and equations, and survey each and every diary that exists in D-land to ensure the perfect match. I'm going to go watch TV now.
from hapithoughts :
pffff, his hints are wayyyyyy too easy.
from scanzilla :
It ryhmes with "Sick of Rock and Falls." ;)
from scanzilla :
No my goods are still attached, but you were close. ;)
from scanzilla :
A better hint: Two oranges and a banana.
from nekono :
Your modesty is making me cry. I wanted to see the landing strip.
from vyv-xx :
Omigosh! But she is sooooo going to marry Elijah! Eek!!! :o)
from hapithoughts :
hmmmm.. hm..... all very good guesses! but no... ummm.. another hint. strawberries. :) FUN!
from hapithoughts :
that's so close! ehhehe! yet not... hmmm.. ready for another hint? peaches!
from hapithoughts :
yeah, but you're smart so i can't make it easy on you. hmmm.. how about another... ummm... parrot. HAHHAHA :) this is fun!
from hapithoughts :
nooooo, but this guessing game sure is fun!!! hmmm... maybe i'll give you a hint. .... hmmm.... it's not chinese food.
from hapithoughts :
ummmm, mostly just in boston, yessss, and i will be there the second week in january!!! NUTS!!! and as for what i ahve of dans.. I CANT TELL!!! HAHAHHAHHA!!! BWAHAHHAHHAHA!!!
from cuillin :
sigh...i can't sign your guestbook again so quicky, but i wanted to say again that i'm sorry...i can be a real ass sometimes, ask anyone. i don't doubt your bitchyliciousness. i am, however, doubting my own right now. not my bitchiness...that seems to be quite intact. i'm really sorry for assuming.
from vyv-xx :
Make sure to eat a lot of spinach, then.
from kingbastard :
Jesus Christ. I never said I disagreed with with anybody about the original SOLARIS. I just wrote about the movie that I saw. And when I said I read up a a lot on the it, I meant the production of the film, the themes that were going to be tackled, James Cameron's involvement, film stock that was used, photography elements,ect.. I've never read the book, and I havent seen the original movie. But that doesnt mean I can't give my opinion on the film that I just saw. And who's to say I need to read the book and see the 70's SOLARIS to really enjoy this version. Was it a sequal? No. I never knew so much opinion could come out of one movie reveiw.
from peteandray :
i bet you could bounce a quarter off that ass and get two nickels in return ha hah ho i am drunk happy thanksnavidad
from greatgadfly :
Holy crap! That's SOME ass!
from kingbastard :
A new one is coming up sweety. By the way, nice ass... if thats your real ass.
from kingbastard :
Thanks for the note. Keep reading!
from vyv-xx :
Wat? Yoo like-a tha Gumbee?
from weeme :
o Bitchy. I'm so very sorry about your father-in-law.
from sooner :
Oh, bitchy. I love you too. And Wee does as Wee wants, as you well know.
from ladygoodman :
so sorry to hear about your father-in-law. = (
from sooner :
Oh Bitchy. I thought you were going to the wedding too! My thoughtless mistake. My weekend is still free. Is yours?
from peth :
gay hot = wesley
from nekono :
yes, how did you know sneaky. I didn't like it
from saint-louise :
Oh. Well, no. I'm not changing the template because of you. Even though I would do a dance of delight if you would read my diary anyway. Maybe you could cover the top of the screen with one hand while you read. I would even do a dance of delight sans pants. At work. In the lunchroom. I'd get fired, to boot. All for you, baby. All for you.
from peth :
i love you, even though i am not your marshmallow.
from saint-louise :
We can't have you getting the vapors, I suppose. Well, the large saint picture by my text is going to go, I think. And the middle image at the top is only temporary, so that will change, too. Don't know if that helps, but one can only hope.
from saint-louise :
Oh, I'm not upset. Just perplexed. The child talk I completely understand, see. I just think it's too bad that people misunderstand the saint stuff. I think the irony is too subtle. Eh.
from bevin :
The guestbook is down, but I wanted to know if these count... <IMG SRC="http://sam.diaryland.com/images/sambanner.gif"> <IMG SRC="http://boydisturbed.diaryland.com/images/boy1.jpg">
from sooner :
It has been so long since I've seen your perfect ass. We must plan for Webbers. Webbers and ass.
from sooner :
It's strange, but that was my fondest wish too. We're in sync, you and I.
from peth :
i have a slight overbite, and there is blood coursing through me. But i am not magnetic enough.
from sooner :
You flatter me! I'm magnetic!
from addieplum :
that article was awesome.
from weeme :
o bitchy. But aren't we all just nerds with overbites and blood? I mean, really. deep down.
from weeme :
o bitchy. Yes, I noticed that too. After I posted it. Too lazy to go back and alter it. Let's just pretend it's a raccon that's been exposed to tremendous amounts of radiation and mysterious mutating gases which cumulated in the sad and scary relocation of it's bicuspids.
from peth :
YOUR sitemeter icon is better than MY sitemeter icon. I'm calling you OUT. Hold on, it takes me a while to get these earrings out.
from ihatepizza :
but you are so damn fightable! (it's a good thing though.)
from ihatepizza :
I know. It's always this way with us. I'm sensitive and you're critical. I guess I'm just so used to these roles. One day I'll get a note from you and it will be supportive though, I know it.
from ihatepizza :
I do not have to talk to the whole restaurant at one time when I'm working. It's not like everyone is looking at me. You know what I'm talking about so stop being so damn critical of me, dammit!
from peth :
oh, I think bitchy's diary is PRECIOUS. oh yeah.
from weeme :
oooo dear. Someone just called my diary precious. For some reason, this mortifies me. I mean, I know, I know ...it's covered in puppies and little shiny asterisks and stuff, but still... Does anyone ever say your diary is precious, Bitchy? The little devil duckies, they're kinda cute. It could happen someday. it could. Prepare yourself.
from weeme :
ooo the irony that i should follow mention of cough syrup. the stuf is lethal, LETHAL, i tell you. And you should know, having viewed the mess I made in Princess Pethie's guestbook! I'm actually dropping by to thank you for the nice words in pethie's pages. You ain't so bitchy, bitchy, now is you? Perhaps you're saving all your venom for classmates.... to which I say, good on you Bitchy! I made the mistake of registering there once eoons and eons ago and they continue to stalk me regardless of the numrous cease and desist orders I've sent.
from kittybukkake :
Beeetcheeeey. Yes, my husband, Michael Bukkakis, had an unsuccessful political run back in the day... we've had some tough times, but I don't drink cough syrup anymore. xoxox Kitty
from sooner :
oh btchy. What a brilliant entry!
from weeme :
understandably.
from weeme :
I have to ask...which one did you prefer?!
from weeme :
Sooner told me that his Camden was paved over and strewn with junkies. I'm relieved to know there's another less junkie-fied Camden 'cuz all during the movie, all I could think is, I wanna live THERE!
from weeme :
Sooner told me that his Camden was paved over and strewn with junkies. I'm relieved to know there's another less junkie-fied Camden 'cuz all during the movie, all I could think is, I wanna live THERE!
from mountainboy :
Oh btchy, I would love to come! I, unfortunately, am stuck down here in 100 degree hell with no relief in sight. I will have to live vicariously through the pictures I hope addieplum will take again. But do something especially scandelous for me, and tell me all about it!
from mountainboy :
Well I hope you're not too worn out to go on that murderous rampage, life's getting a little slow, I was counting on you to spice things up.
from kittybukkake :
I was rather inspired by your ass, yes. And the asses of others who were asking for cash. But mostly your free ass! Amen sister.
from nekono :
WHere is this secret list full of partners? When is misty going to give you an olive branch? WHEN?
from mistachel :
i don't care. i can leave a note pertaining to anything about me wherever i want.
from mistachel :
it means that i didn't like them enough to date, but they were okay for sex. and some of them weren't even that. i bet you have a secret list full of partners.
from pitty-sing :
your guestbook is making me hot.
from sooner :
the other night when I was tolerating you I realized that I actually like you. It was weird.
from ihatepizza :
Why wouldn't I wash my hair?
from nekono :
Bitchy you're the best html teacher ever! It's small now, and so dainty, like Anna Nicole's fake eyelashes!
from nekono :
Today I have farah fawcett hair, but you bitchy, you are a boomerang girl!
from nekono :
thank you thank you, is there anyway i can make it smaller? its SO BIG!
from corazon :
Bitchy, perhaps lotus only leaves me notes in order to disagree with you. I am thinking that this may actually be a good thing for you though. I believe that disagreeing with you only serves to strengthen your evil powers. Am I right? C.
from delainy :
i don't want to stalk you. you people are boring.
from nekono :
bitchy, Misty is stalking me now! I have started something I cant get out of!
from peth :
just what do you mean, my little lotus blossom?
from peth :
we must share wend's affections. she has a lot of love to give.
from ihatepizza :
It's fixed!
from peth :
i have yet to see it too, or either, or whatever. i do get to see that annoying red flashing banner all the time, and i don't mean redblur's sexy banner. i mean the one that says I've won. and i have.
from nekono :
If you pester her, she will MOST CERTAINLY pester you back. She is great fun, please feel free tojoin me. She will even write entries about you and make you feel famous. http://mistachel.diaryland.
from redblur :
Dadblamed Dubya, always mispronunciating stuff.
from peth :
i want some hand jobs soon.
from ihatepizza :
What a shocker!
from ihatepizza :
I don't have anyone in particular in mind. Any suggestions? Boy or girl.
from nekono :
thanks for your sexist POLL. Can't you put up a girly one so i can participate, like whether girls prefer recipe cards or recipe books. Come on bitchy, lets swap stories about casseroles.
from ihatepizza :
So Mike is really excited, when are you coming over?
from ihatepizza :
and how the hell did you find my LJ?
from ihatepizza :
You just look for reasons to talk shit, huh? My hubby can screw anyone he wants, I don't give a shit. The one thing he can not do is fuck some little girl that was head over heels in love with him! Doesn't that make sense? So shut up already, brat!
from ihatepizza :
I love you more, bitch!
from bevin :
You are deelish, bitchy. Can I take your poll? I will pimp it out even if I can't. John is known to be heterosexual. He is atypical in all ways, though. An atypical boy, fag, hetero, etc... And I also think the world should be obliterated soon.
from addieplum :
i went to see the girls dancing at cheerleaders the other night...does this make me man enough to take you damn poll?
from ihatepizza :
boyish? me?
from ihatepizza :
But I thought I had to be a boy?
from peth :
all of these things i do/ to get away from you
from peth :
i could be happy i could be happy
from manchichi :
you'll have to work out something with him. do you know what he looks like?
from icelily02 :
I'm a big girl, thank you. I can take care of myself and I never said I was worried about voodoo dolls. Now obviously, I DON'T WANT TO GOD DAMN IM YOU! I'm beginning to wonder why you want me to IM you so much. Thanks for the sympathy but I don't need it. So thanks but back off, bitch.
from corazon :
I am so sorry to hear that blandie is hypoglycemic. I am sure that the recipe could be modified using fructose and a touch of molasses and some whole wheat or oat flour to bring down the refinedness of it all. That seems like a lot of work though and fruit is definitely more healthy.
from heckafresh :
Hey, I said the science wasn't bad, the one application in particular. IRregardless, I added you to my AIM list and never ever see you, we can disscuss it at length becuase I like learning stuff. E-licious.
from anx :
I wanted a happy meal...but they gave me an UNHAPPY MEAL!!! THEY CLEANED MY CUT OUT WITH A WIRE BRUSH!!!!! Who WASN'T in love with Mr. HCI?
from ihatepizza :
I'm not any good at giving people a hard time. You should teach me.
from redblur :
So the thing where I thought I was being all nice and thoguhtful with th opening in new windows is really some kinda pushy "Red knows best" kinda thing? Oh man. I hate when I do that.
from ihatepizza :
That's okay. I'm known to have intense relationships with morons. Besides I stopped reading people's answers a while ago. I love you.
from corazon :
Bitchy, I miss you. I hope you are just busy or a little uninspired and not really dead. C.
from ihatepizza :
you are such a snot!
from peth :
find me some surveys and i'll fill em out. i love filling out surveys.
from ihatepizza :
You wasted your time because you are a darling. Oh and no I am not fat quite yet. Give it a few years though.
from migrainegirl :
I always considered the WalMarting as a test of strength and will-power; sort of a real life "Survivor," if you will. But perhaps I was wrong. That Frito-smelling hairy-backed woman really scared me.
from ihatepizza :
No I do not wish I was hairier. I wouldn't mind it though. I have always admired girls with bushy pits. Oh and I hmpphed because you had to rub it in my face that I can't get laid because I'm a fucking wuss. Ouch.
from ihatepizza :
Hmphh.
from peth :
have i told you lately that you are fabulicious?
from ihatepizza :
no. it was too small.
from sooner :
Yes I suppose it is Sedarisesque. At my commencement ceremony, the class president actually gave a speech in which he spoke of his astounding accomplishmentms and then ended it with the moral "please yourself because that's all any of us can really do well anyway." I was mortified. It's more about that than anything else.
from peth :
Flame + anything = BBBBRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPPPTTTTTT!!
from peth :
feel the diaryland LOVE.
from addieplum :
mini-golf sounds fun, but couldn't we knock over a liquor store or something exciting like that?
from nudeplatypus :
So, I'm used as the measure of evil. I think it would be more fun to be evil. But, if that's my place in life so be it.
from ihatepizza :
oh btchy, I miss you.
from peth :
you know how in your profile, under music, you have a comment that there should be a place to list one's favorite artists? Um, well, what if you then just listed your favorite artists there. I would like that.
from ihatepizza :
I miss your smart ass remarks.
from peth :
oh, baby, i love it when you misspell stuff.
from corazon :
Bitchy, Thanks for the moral support or would that be immoral support? Anyway, I think everything will be okay. We have worked up to this so it won't be quite like leaping off a cliff. I will do my best to relax, but don't worry, I am prepared to give it a few shots to get good before I would give up on it. Hopefully, I will get a chance to chat with you soon. C.
from ihatepizza :
Ouch. I know I'm just sensitive but sometimes your comments hurt!
from corazon :
Bitchy, we need to girl-talk? Do you have advice for me? Warnings? Technical info? I have already learned that testicles require a great deal of sensitivity. I am glad that I don't have to be quite so protective over dangly parts on my body. I will try to get on AIM this week so you can tell me. C.
from ihatepizza :
Well that's a fabulous question btchy! I married him cuz I love him! I don't trust anyone, thank you very much.
from peth :
hey, Satan. love, Enid.
from ravenheart :
Yeah, when I get those nuts I'm probably going to say; -'Hva faen!' which means -'What the fuck!' in Norwegian.
from corazon :
Oh thank you for the manboobs. You know how I love them. I might have to dump Tim for the owner of that beautiful pair. mmmm.
from peth :
those nipples are beckoning to me.
from manchichi :
nevermind the first message i got it now. took me a while though.
from so-annoyed :
I added you to my favorites in the hopes that we could begin a note correspondence, much like mine and Peth's...

That is all.

besos,

~rachel~

from bevin :
A big big part of estate planning is preparing for tax consequences. So a lot of tax lawyers are estate lawyers/planners. Esp if he has is L.L.M. in taxation--he's a tax lawyer.
from bevin :
my bad. I thought you meant that you were offended. Pardon, pardon. P.S. everytime I come to your notes page it asks me for a password for migrainegirl. Uber annoying!!
from bevin :
I'm not passing judgement on your brother, but the reasonable law student standard would uphold that a tax lawyer is a crazy mofo.
from manchichi :
i have no idea what all those letters and numbers mean.
from bevin :
oh bitchy, Fred Milton is #1--Yeah!, but Jeff the Fly. Jeff the Fly is the most amazing--and romantic--slam poet that there ever was. "Bratwurst on table ignored" Genius!! Fucking Genius. I've been waiting for that one to hit the internet so that I can relive it again and again. Oh it made me laugh.
from peth :
the party rocked because of your shapely ARSE!
from bevin :
Tell the truth, Bitchy, is that YOU dressed like jesus mocking the food service worker covered in mustard?
from bevin :
Everyone has to find their peace somewhere. I'm spiritual and I find a lot of comfort knowing that god won't give me more than I can handle. I can't be so naive as to think everyone else finds comfort in that as well. What comforts those who aren't spiritual? Knowing that they have a support system? Knowing that they're resilient and can live through things? This much I do not know.
from peth :
I'm gonna go pay my bills. this happens every week.
from sooner :
What ever you choose. And Anx is nasty.
from redblur :
I'm gonna get all the prize packages together this weekend, cuz I am a procrastinatin' fool and that's just the way I am. But yer prize is gonna rock cuz it's cool and stuff. I promise.
from sooner :
Dear Bitchy,

What are you talking about?

Love,
Brian
from peth :

I had to watch it again.
from bevin :
He may be your best friend and lover but when you talk about him you don't say "My best friend blandman" do you? That's the thing, I would say "my girlfriend" if my best friend were my lover, too. And I know you can be both, but one title kind of overshadows another. And it encompasses more things.
from peth :
Oh, maybe I left a few details out to leave something for you to write about. Or maybe I forgot. I did actually forget about OxygenMan, but I could never forget Denise.
from corazon :
Bitchy, I have learned in my not quite 28 years on this earth that life is unpredictable. Under that premise, I would say that there is an outside chance that I will give it up to you before I give it up to Tim. I'm not saying that it's something you should count on, just not absolutely impossible. Even if our relationship is never consumated dear Bitchy, I love you too. C.
from ihatepizza :
I've done a lot of things btchy. What are you referring to exactly?
from corazon :
Bitchy, I don't know why you are the only one who writes me notes. Perhaps you were the only one who truly loved me in the first place. Your adventures at Cheerleaders do sound very exciting. I don't know if that's an opportunity I would want to explore. I am afraid that I am a bit boring and restrained. C.
from scot2hot :
I think i'm immune
from peth :
Thank you, darling. Likewise to you and Laura's lascivious lap-dancing literary log.
from redblur :
Good idea, but my mom is an English teacher and she'd get all peeved at me for horning in on her territory......
from sooner :
Hello. Thank you for the current click on the week. Goodbye.
from ihatepizza :
Well since you explained it so reasonably I looked to see if I could find a nicer pic. Nope! I changed it anyway though. Oh and how does getting my feelings hurt have anything to do with being a riot grrl? Are riot grrl insensitive?
from peth :
But Dod, I don't want to be a boy scote!
from ihatepizza :
Why do you hate the picture??? Are you just being mean, bitchy? I get my feelings hurt easily!!!!!
from corazon :
Bitchy, thanks for the advice. I was thinking along the same lines. Not that I am trying to punish him. I just have a hard time feeling in the mood when I don't feel emotionally safe. I don't feel emotionally safe about excessive drinking and being accused of "nagbagging." Perhaps that's just me though. C.
from peth :
Why is Sooner trying to be like me? Why is he ordering his scotches two at a time and leaning to the left when idle? Why is he painting his nails that same shade of yellow and telling everyone how much he loves Charles Bronson? Everyone knows I love Charles Bronson! Damn that Sooner!
from sooner :
Oh, Bitchy. I will take you to Carman's when ever your schedule permits. She has a "pickled possum penis" as decoration in her establishment. I want to share that with you. And our boys if they're available. But mostly just with you.
from sooner :
oh, Bitchy. Now my note page is lemon fresh and clean. I'm trying to be Peth when I grow up. I'm trying.
from redblur :
Peth already has a prize coming to her from the Red's Most Read contest.... I'll just send your prize to her in the same package...

The comments are on each individual entry, so if you go back to the entry that you commented on before, and look at the comments, you'll see your old comments, as if by elven magic.....
from redblur :
Nope, you didn't win, but you tried awful hard, so you are hereby awarded an honorary comment prize. Send me your mailing address, and it will be winging it's way toward you as soon as I get around to wrapping it up and stuff.....
from corazon :
Bitchy, thank you for sharing the sexwisdom. I thin you are right about the relaxing thing. The relaxing thing probably will not happen until I feel a bit more certain about stuff. I am afraid that I am the kind of girl who requires some emotional commitment before sex. I guess I am a bit old fashioned. C.
from peth :
pussy.
from ihatepizza :
Yes it is really too bad. I think tonight I am going to go out and eat some. Then I will never speak another harsh word about it.
from btchelicious :
I really ought to sign my own notes more often.
from bevin :
Bitchy bitchy bitchy, tell me, are you free on sunday morning?
from ihatepizza :
What is this, panzerottis? I am intrigued. Does it have tomato sauce on/in it? I think if it did, I may not like it.
from peth :
Thank you for the kiss. I kiss you back, with a little tongue. I think the lamb looks extra scary distorted, no?
from corazon :
Bitchy, Thanks for trying to quell my sexfears. I know they are somewhat illogical, but yet, there they are. Anyway, I definitely thing you should write an entry about wedding insanity. I often feel like a traitor to womankind because I don't care about the wedding crap. I just wish people would focus more time, thought and energy on their marriage and a whole lot less on one freaking day of their life. Alas, I do not rule the world. Probably a good thing as I would not have time to write you big long notes.
from corazon :
I fear pregnancy, pain, abandonment, and basically hating it and emasculating Tim (or whoever)--not necessarily in that order.
from peth :
I have a sex drive. I just thought you might want to know.
from migrainegirl :
Oh Btchy, you are so smart! That would be the question! I do not have an answer. It is open to debate.
from sooner :
Bitchy, Thank you for the editorial help. Jesus invented spell checker for me and I dishonor him by not even using it. I'll probably be sent to hell or something.

I suppose it is better to smell hair spray than to smell burning hair spray. But what do I know about such things.
from bevin :
Hey devil's advocate. In the land of secrets there can be few doorways.
from corazon :
Bitchy, You ask very good questions. Here are the answers: 1.) I'm pretty sure that you can do the math on this one. 2.) Ummm, I suppose when I get to the point where the horniness outweighs the fear, Tim will do what he wants. Not there yet. 3.) So, I'm not saying that I have never been attracted to a woman because I have, but I just don't see that as something I would do. If it were something I would do, I would probably give Pethie first crack because I think she would be less intimidating. C.
from corazon :
Dear sweet naive Bitchy, of course you can have a sex drive without having sex. Think of it as unsatisfied horniness. This used to bother me, but then it left and I worried that it would never come back--so however frustrating it might be, it's also a relief. C
from peth :
I put that pic in to give you a flashback. and to give blandman a flashback. and, of course, to give me a flashback. I am only alive on diaryland. it is my matrix.
from peth :
Yes, Sir I'm NAVY!
from manchichi :
i don't have her address. i keep losing it on purpose. i will give you this tidbit to mull over: kelly only pays $52 a month for rent. taxpayers pay the rest. she just bought a new car.
from peth :
i think Corazon is more than right. And to show my respect and fondness for her, i will give her no award whatsoever. rock.
from sooner :
I go away for a week and look what happens. All cool ass chick hell breaks loose. Do you think I could ever be a cool ass chick?
from corazon :
Well Bitchy, I am so happy that you were singing the Jet song. Life would be so much more fun (and pretty corny) if people would just break out into song all the time. Anyway, this might put me into the minion category, but although I appreciate the spirit behind the coolassaward, I am not all that pleased with the mission. I don't really want an award for just being me (really being me is award enough). I want awards for stellar achievement. I don't really like the notion that people should be rewarded for just being. Perhaps I am misguided. C.
from corazon :
Oh Bitchy, it seems as though you are wrecking havoc in diaryland. What did you do to the coolassaward people? I hope you weren't too mean. Now as for your note--17 years?!? Are you like 50 or something? Did you start dating when you were 10? HOLY CRAP! Love, C.
from peth :
i'll be your headpiece minion any time.
from peth :
my STAFF.
from coolassaward :
Nope, we just think you are mean and full of spite. Read the update for more information regarding our credentials. Any other questions need to be directed to our email. My staff was directed to have no more communication with you or your minions. Thanks and have a super day!
from violated1 :
I was wondering if you also harrass anyone besides Cool Ass Awards? And if so, why? What gives you the right to judge something you know nothing about?
from coolassaward :
If you are bored, please find someone else to harrass. Don't you feel kind of petty nickpicking something you can't possibly and don't want to understand? I've tried to be nice about this entire thing because I am not like you, but you are really trying my patience. If you really have a valid complaint, then that is fine and you can please email us. But the point is you don't. What you seem to have is a lot of bitterness and unhappiness that you are determined to share with others. The ladies at Cool Chicks all agree that any forthcoming notes from you, or your like, are to be erased immediately. So please, write till your lil bitter heart is content. Thanks and blessings be with you. CC, StV, and Virgie.
from coolassaward :
Hello Miss Licious! How are you doing this beautiful evening? Grrrrreat I hope! Well I'll be seeing you! huggies
CC
from peth :
kisses! hugs! affirmation! love! smooches! did i mention kisses! you are SO loved. i need to spread my roar towards you, too. Have a superduper day! bye! (ps. you make me want to touch dewy fresh female arsesin a bar and then go home alone and insert chocolates into my twat)
from coolassaward :
Your bored aren't you? It's okay. I sometime harrass people when I'm bored too. Sarah is on the background because it was easy. Honest to God truth, if David Boreanaz wasn't on there too, there would have been a whole nother background. You like me admit it. You know you do, or you wouldn't spend so much time giving me all this attention. Thank you I appreciate it. Is it okay if I put you and peth on my list of favorites? Of course it is my new friend! Big huggies!!!!!
from peth :
i am spamming your notes. ha
from btchelicious :
ACK!!! Stop spamming my fucking notes!
from spreewitch :
http://members.diaryland.com/edit/addpub.phtml?user=spreewitch Do what the prompt tells you: voice your opinion, bitch, complain...say what you think!
from peth :
everyone knows that beautiful people like you and me, btchy, are the only ones that matter in this world.
from coolassaward :
Um "we" are me, and the thousand other voices in my head. (hehe, j/k) The Cool Chicks Staff, of course. And our opnion is different than the normal opinion. We are here to build up, not tear down! Not every woman is going to have a body like Gabriel Whatever her name is. And women need to know thats ok. Its ok to be different! Its ok to have big hips, acne, short hair, hell no hair at all! That is what we are about. Everyone needs to know how much they are appreciated every once in a while.
from peth :
in french, isn't the word for 'ass' something like 'cul' which sorta sounds like 'cool'?
from coolassaward :
Hehe cartoon character? And I'm sure Miss Reece is not into physical violence. Are you bored? Or just like this all the time?
from coolassaward :
Nah it was just funny as hell to see all these mohawks(aka punks) and this itty bitty girl in pink. Are you normally this suspicious?
from coolassaward :
We don't want you to "conform". We are nonconformist, (very tired noncomformist, since I havent been to sleep in like 24 hours. LOL Like you care) You can nominate a friend, or an aquaintance.
from coolassaward :
When's the last time you got an "AWARD" for being you? Do you like your ego stroked? Do you like stroking other people's ego? We all need a good stroking now and then. Have you ever gone to a diary and what the diarist wrote brightened up your day? Or really made you think? Have you ever wanted to let that person know what thier writing and diary meant to you? Well Cool Chicks is the place for you. I know your like what the hell is Cool Chicks? Or maybe you already know what a Cool Ass Chick you are. Well good! But isn't it time to let the world know about your Cool Chickiness?
from corazon :
Bitchy, I think that your prediction of a 3-way is a bit unlikely, but get a megarita in me (or a good dose of valium) and you never know what I might agree to. ;)
from pollypeptide :
Shakira, mostly. ::::: besos, ~rachel~ :::::
from corazon :
Bitchy, I don't believe that many people understand our lovely little arrangement. That's okay. Sometimes it's good to be misunderstood. On a different note, I do believe I might be a bit of a mutant for how the pill works for me. I just know that before I started taking them, I cried at least 4 times a week and was upset by small things. A former boyfriend actually called me melancholy. It was bad. I went on the pill and I felt better. Took a break from the pill and felt moody and my hair was falling out all over the place. Went back on and it was better. It hasn't worked that way for anyone else I know of. I see this being a problem if I ever want to procreate. Who would want to have sex with a moody, bald woman?
from nekono :
i just had to switch pills from a brand i wont mention because it caused EXTREME moodiness enough to break two remote controls and a cell phone over a 4 month span. ask mr.modular. he was witness.
from pollypeptide :

I said, "Tender-shaped? Tender's not a shape. Oh, wait. You mean chicken tender?"

If I put a pit'cher in your notes dilly, would I be a member of the Inner Circle?

And which is better...::rides off into the sunset:: or ::rolls with the homies::?

::::: besos, ~rachel~ :::::

from peth :
the Pill has done nothing to temper my moodiness. in fact, i do believe i am MOODIER since i started taking the little sterillicious wonders. and that was not a real update. my update, that is.
from corazon :
Ah Bitchy, I go to the gyno because I haven't given up on the possibility that someday I might use my equipment and I would like for it to work properly at that time. Also, I find that the pill works very well to quell my moodiness.
from redblur :
I mean PETH's guestbook - or something.
from redblur :
Dadburnit - there's something truly odd going on here. Well, it worked in yer guestbook - so go there.
from redblur :
Um - whut th' eff? That worked, damn it - I even tried it in a local html file first to make sure. Now I look like a total maroon.

from redblur :
I was surfing your notes, and I saw that pollypeptide was having a problem getting this image to work - so I worked it for her.



I've been to a titty bar, but I've never been to a bikini bar. I didn't know they had such things. Around here, it's all nude. Except in Rhode Island, where they have to keep their undies on. Makes the whole experience totally diff.

from peth :
rocking fun master sweaty arse cracks.
from bevin :
3/16, TittyBar: Fabulous. I only wish I could have been there. My night was filled with flaccid penises. And not on gay men. I'll recount it later. xoxo
from peth :
I'll still leave notes and such. And I'll be back.
from migrainegirl :
Wine? Oh no thank you, it gives me a terrible headache. A martini? Yes thank you.
from addieplum :
very interesting. see, i don't think that manning and i have ever been introduced. in fact he probably has no idea who i am. but he was friends with a girl from my class who played the violin and he plays the cello, so they knew each other somehow. anyway, she showed me a video once of him playing. and now i see him everywhere i go...the library, the movies...and his hair is always beautiful. mmmmm...manning...
from sooner :
choo choo! chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga choo choo!
from corazon :
Bitchy, you are nothing if not direct. I suspect that I would like to get laid. I don't think that it will be anytime soon. I am not a free spirit in this area (maybe any area). I would want to be uninhibited, but in order for that to happen, I would need trust and a level of commitment. Who knows?
from addieplum :
but wait...i already love manning. but how do you know him? and why is he on your page? OMG! i am freaking out.
from nekono :
thank you for the itemized note. The coffee house of which i often speak is called "The Living Room." Christian rock open-mic night is held every thursday. You better get their quick, the christian owners are selling (and I don't know if new Christians are taking over)
from bevin :
Oh, bitchy, if only I ever find the butch to match that cake topper! If I do, though, you're invited to the wedding so long as you promise to get drunk and make a scene. Oh, and my wedding shower will involve the wearing of hideous bridesmaid dresses, so get ready to dust it off!
from corazon :
Ah, there's the bitchy I love! I'm sorry things are so busy (and I'm thinking stressful as well). I hope it eases up soon.
from bevin :
I hope that company realizes that if they just kicked the bride out of the picture and put TWO grooms on that topper they would open themselves up to a HUGE commitment ceremony market!!
from corazon :
Bitchy, I don't mean to be pressurizing you or anything, but if you go another three days or so (these things are not that exact, there is some squirm room), you will indeed be a DIARYLAND LURKER. Don't let it happen.
from peth :
You could never be "just another diaryland lurker".
from corazon :
Bitchy, I am about to be very random. I am glad that you liked my dream entry although I find that you liked it almost as disturbing as the dream itself. You were right that I forgot to mention the sperm poisoning. I did tell Madrigle about it on Saturday, though. Just for you, I will from here on out refer to my pregnant clients as sperm poisoned and I will be sure to credit you with the term. I think you need to write an entry before you become just another diaryland lurker.
from peth :
I certainly hope you will update again. Will this inspire you?
from corazon :
Bitchy, although I am not permitted to utter such things at work (the Pope wouldn't like it), I too wish that people would not breed so much. As I have said before, I think that loser idiots will one day rule the planet just based on how fast they reproduce. So, I wish there were some cosmic license for use of reproductive organs. If you did not pass certain tests and meet certain guidelines, you would not have use of the reproductive parts. I guess though, I would have to look for a new line of work and perhaps some cool people would not have been born. I don't know.
from manchichi :
i will leave you a note also. because i'm so fucking polite.
from peth :
from corazon :
Perhaps the doctor's wife was looking for a 3rd. I don't want to know. There is nothing wrong with pediatricians. I just included that fact as a sidenote and so I said anyway. Do you think there might be something wrong with pediatricians? I hope not.
from migrainegirl :
The only thing more frightening than the pink poodle purse is the woman-creature holding the pink poodle purse. However, the Chinese take-out purse is gifted and my girl Cherrry is having a fit for wanting the leopard print bowling bag. *sigh* Perhaps I shall purchase it for her.
from scot2hot :
http://www.angelfire.com/pr/shoelaces/image.html/blackr.jpg
from migrainegirl :
My dearest btchy one:
It was a tragic case of dyslexia that caused the error on "The Usual Suspects" list. I would rather die than cause you sadness yet again. The error has been corrected.
A thousand and one pardons.
Humbly yours;
Migraine
from chzza :
I am the Yuri Geller of HTML.
from chzza :
from chzza :
Grrr... how did you do that?
from chzza :
from ravenheart :
lunchboxes are still wombs...mmm...-I'm trying to convince you about something I haven't convinced myself about...
from ravenheart :
My womb says; Go get a man and get pregnant! -but I'm too lazy and then it fucks with me even more.A lot of times I wish I was a man and I'm heterosexual,so how terrible is that?!
from ravenheart :
I also hate my womb,it's a shitty place.It's been fucking with me for decades,I was happy at the time when I didn't even know I had one.
from ravenheart :
Did you know that it's extremely normal for women to think about suitcases,bags and lunchboxes? It's something to do with their sexuality. It's also very normal for lesbian girls. The suitcase room represent the womb you know. I read it a long time ago in some magazine. I then realized I was normal. I've always had a closet and drawer fetish. It's the same thing.
from bevin :
The picture didn't work!! Nooo!! Happy v-day to you, too!
from sooner :
It is back! My entry is back!
from migrainegirl :
It was only because your lunchboxes were so delectably fabulous. I HAD to share them. I will offer a public apology and the subsequent humiliation in your name. I hang my head...the shame, the shame...
from peth :
Grac. for the birthday love/cake/clown/tits.
from peth :
from bevin :
Perhaps the most glorious, strangely arousing Mullet I have ever seen. Unfortunately, I will be hungover or preparing for my hangover this weekend so I cannot hide in the minivan. I am simply a tease. I thought you hated toddlers?
from bevin :
I freely commit the seventh deadly sin of ENVY!!! Can I hide in your trunk?
from sooner :
Yes, fried. But what about the salad? Or the roast beef? What about that?
from peth :
from corazon :
Bitchy, the car was a '97 BMW sedan so probably no problems there. It's possible he was on a cell. Quite unlikely he was being fellated. It remains a mystery.
from bevin :
I cannot disclose where I work. But, no, they do not realize it is 2002. Many many lawfirms are like this, though, especially small ones. SAD!
from sooner :
If Peth doesn't wear panties, those must have been mine. I suddenly feel tingly.
from corazon :
Bitchy, yes, I am saying that it was a one vehicle accident with a sober driver. Strange.
from ravenheart :
Thanks for the lunchbox, nifty! We dont have those boxes here where I live (Norway). I did know they were meant for lunch, but I tend to forget. I used to have this red small suitcase with white flowers on when I where little, carried it around with me everywhere, they were very popular back then.Here in Norway all boxes with handholders are called suitcases. I've always loved suitcases,so I do like those luchboxes. I have a black one, with Lenore on it, I belive it is a lunchbox.
from bevin :
The boy with the thorn in his side Behind the hatred there lies A murderous desire for love How can they look into my eyes And still they don't believe me ? How can they hear me say those words Still they don't believe me ? And if they don't believe me now Will they ever believe me ? And if they don't believe me now Will they ever, they ever, believe me ? Oh ... The boy with the thorn in his side Behind the hatred there lies A plundering desire for love How can they see the Love in our eyes And still they don't believe us ? And after all this time They don't want to believe us And if they don't believe us now Will they ever believe us ? And when you want to Live How do you start ? Where do you go ? Who do you need to know ? Oh ... Oh no ... Oh ... La ..."--The Smiths
from corazon :
Thanks Bitchy. Maybe things are just not to be sparkly right now. I guess in the zen way of thinking that would make me more appreciative of the sparkly times.
from peth :
I don't know how this secret gets out anymore. Ask Sooner.
from ravenheart :
What's up with all those fancy suitcases?
from ravenheart :
Gary Numan is the man! -and I belive you agree with me right (?)
from peth :
I'll throw y'all some bones!
from sooner :
Do you know anyone who casts bones?
from bevin :
Oh, and I was procrastinating last night, so the pic is on at it's correct dimensions. I'll make it smaller and more user friendly when I have more things to procrastinate about.
from bevin :
I always knew you were a goddess. And happy birthday. Destroy someone today, for some good, noble reason. Like causing global warming. Or not tipping a bartender well enough.
from addieplum :
unfortunately for all involved, the punk-ass bitch that took it upon herself to make all the plans for the shower does not have email. so that is one reason. the other reason is probably cause she just wants to inconvenience me. grr...if i could shoot poison darts from my eyes, she would already be gone...
from sooner :
I think what I really need is to find someone who tosses bones. That's what I really need.
from addieplum :
phallus...mushroom phallus...
from bevin :
And, of course, other girl scouts. It's some minty chocolatey divine thing. http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/1610
from corazon :
Aw Bitchy, you make me laugh on the grayest days. Maybe I am falling in love with you. Would Blandman feel threatened? Hope not.
from bevin :
In Girl Scouts they give you recipe books for everything--campfire cooking, solar oven cooking, even drinking. One of my favorite drinks is the "Dirty Girl Scout". Thassright.
from peth :
you are absolutely right, btchy. I have 30. i have nothing to complain about. sheesh. sometimes i wonder about me.
from corazon :
Oh Bitchy, you are the best. I would give you 5's on my evaluation, but we didn't have 5's. Thank you for the painting.
from peth :
I feel like i swam yesterday. This morning my new bookcase had dew on it.
from k-boy :
those nuns are to remind me of my dreadful sins.. oh god help me.
from peth :

This, Btchy, is my new celebrity crush. Well, diaryland celebrity crush. Don't tell anybody, it is a SECRET.
from peth :
menfolk are always hanging out in their cars at shopping centers because they don't want to shop with their wives, so they just wait for them in the car. My grandpa Felix always sat in the car while my grandma trolled around the mall. I often sat and waited with him. Fond memories. No masturbating though.
from fluf :
thanking you for the suitcases. matching too, i note with thrills. i like your comedy porn more with each passing day, by the way.
from peth :
I love you, Btchy.
from migrainegirl :
Oh, well as long as you were trying to be polite, that's alright then. I am light years older than you. Fear me. Or not....
from peth :
from corazon :
Bitchy, in additiong to being my foe, you are my hero. Some might call that conflicted, but it seems to just flow naturally for me. Thank you for the monster women pic. I like it.
from madrigle :
Yes, preliminary market test results on the badger scented balm were well, not as good as hoped for. Although there hoped for signature scent was dashed in the water, the cinnamon bay, mint, and some citrusy flavour have been flying off the shelves. Actually I have no proof of this, just speculating. I want to buy stock.
from manchichi :
delicious....
from migrainegirl :
My notes page can take it. I am sure you meant to say "I love the "Double Indemnity" pictures, especially with the watermelon." I'm sure that is what you meant to say.
from sooner :
Yes. I understand. It's good to have principles.
from peth :
yes, you pandora you, letting out the secret. the only soul who seemed to know how before you was the Great JohnPowers, salami poet. Wesley wants to know how, too. I can just feel it. i can't see your page.
from blandman :
Ya know, these VM people are better than real. Could I swap myself for him? He looks like he's got a better career goin. Although, I don't care for those type of underwear.
from peth :
To cry and pick your nose in the car, this takes much more coordination than the average girl has. But it is worth trying. Maybe you will be that special lady who will be able to master this dual action.
from corazon :
The married gay guy was bigstevo. It was a while ago, so you may have to search a bit. He read a few entries of my diary and thought I was a guy. He's so disgusting.
from corazon :
Dearest Bitchy, you are my one and only diaryland enemy at this point, unless you count the married gay guy I bashed in his guestbook. I don't think he should be counted. He's an unworthy opponent. I think love is a good answer, but everyone has their own definition of love. Mine does not include teenagers screwing in a back seat, getting pregnant and keeping their kid for more welfare. That would better fit my definition of screwing, selfishness, and lazy ass.
from gaytales :
Hey, yeah well he might be a pussy but Kurt Angle is a HOTTIE in real life...omg...Anyhow, I will chat up with you later! I am off to read my hate mail :)
from bevin :
Oh bitchy, we must meet at some point. To throw fruit at housewives and to also hunt mullets and perhaps knock back a few because I am now offically a drunk having had 1.3 cosmos tonight. Damn the patco being so close to Globar!!
from peth :
fluffy cowboys, wiggly fingers and hand jobs. I must go now.
from fluf :
there's a new cowboy in town!
from corazon :
Wiggley finger sounds like a character in a child's book or a James Bond spoof. I will say yes, but it wasn't a very knowledgable finger.
from corazon :
Hmmm. Okay. So, I don't want to be called a liar or anything. But experience with hand jobs does fit into my definition of virgin.
from corazon :
Bitchy, my sexual experience is quite limited. I am hoping that you will accept this: Corazon is a virgin Corazon is a virgin Corazon is a virgin Corazon is a virgin Corazon is a virgin Corazon is a virgin Corazon is a virgin Corazon is a virgin Corazon is a virgin. And by that I mean that none of my orafices have been penetrated. Not my nose, not my mouth, not my ears, not my belly button, not my anus, not my eye sockets and not my vagina. I have not had sex in a house or with a mouse, in a box or with a fox, on a couch or in my mouth. I hope this has cleared things up for you.
from corazon :
Well, Bitchy, I am proud of you for using the clinical term cunnilingus and not making a colorful reference. The answer to the question is probably.
from corazon :
Ah, I was thinking that my notes really lacked two things. The phrase suck dick repeated over and over again and some strange porn shot where you can't make anything out. You have made my notes complete. Thank you Bitchy.
from peth :
no, fluf's one of us, one of us, one of us.
from sooner :
I'm obsessed. Do you think he'd go out with me? Is he gay? Look at his picture. Did you know he waxes his eyebrows? He said he did in his diary.
from bevin :
Bitchy bitchy bitchy, however did you give up television??
from peth :
from peth :
HEY!
from sooner :
Bitchy. Do you want to know my secret? I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell Peth. You have to promise. Only then will I tell.
from corazon :
You seem incredulous. Is it not possible for someone to go through life without sucking dick?
from addieplum :
no, btchy, it wasn't you...but it could be...
from peth :
As some would say, "Fan FUCKING Tastic"!
from bevin :
horizontally speaking--he's at his best. that's my favorite line.
from sooner :
To Peth -- It does work with cats! It does! It does! I just tried it and it worked. With my cats! It worked!
from peth :
i can't imagine that folks would burn in Hell (if there is a Hell) just for smugness, when there are better things to burn for, like making that green bean casserole with the canned mushroom soup and onion flakes.
from corazon :
Bitchy, for your sake I hope you are right.
from corazon :
Bitchy, yes yes, you are indeed a smug married and someday you just might burn in hell for your smugness.
from peth :
This week's click makes me so happy. i would like that nice lady to lovingly put a diaper on me. I am also wondering if this works with cats.
from sooner :
My favorite part about the click of the week, aside from the monkeys of course, is that the text has been copyrighted.
from karolv69 :
I'm baaacckkk! New and Improved! -.-{Karol}¤.¤{Version 6.9}
from corazon :
I'll go ahead and let you think you can beat me. You are a whole fat state away. I will live my life as though I am unconcerned.
from sooner :
look what I can do. Abra cadabra!
from corazon :
I am not so sure what the point of the notes is if you have a guestbook, but it seems like yet another place I can show up an bug you. Ha ha.
from bevin :
Bitchy, perhaps we can get the leftovers from the mexican fiesta and throw them at the cherry hill housewives? Most of them probably have fake xmas trees, too.
from sooner :
We're afraid to find out. that's why you and Blandie must come!
from sooner :
Hey Bitchie! Peth and I are going for Mexican food Friday night. We're thinking 830 at the Mexican Food Factory. Won't you join us? Bring the Bland one. We need you there or else we can't be social butterflies.
from sooner :
Peth, I will so! I will like that. I will!
from peth :
we should all meet at the coffeehouse near color me mine, with Sooner, and scare ladies exiting to try and get them to break their homemade ceramics. oh, wait, Sooner won't like that.
from bevin :
bitchy, I do so wish you would write more. perhaps we should sit outside of places wherin cherry hill housewives frolic and throw fruit at them as they leave. perhaps then you'll scribe the looks of horror on their faces.
from sooner :
Bitchy. I'm sorry I had to run earlier. I wanted to chat and be charming and chat. But it was not to be. I'll make it up to you at Whitewash's party. I swear it.
from sooner :
yes. it seems the linens were in some sort of peril.
from manchichi :
i can't believe someone would say such harsh things to jack! that poor gurl.
from peth :
While I was sleeping, someone snuck into my bedroom and removed all of my shoes.
from alexsdaisy :
Gack. Oh, I was in trouble all right. Getting better. Still in a bit of trouble though. Thanks for asking. By the way-the party description was, in fact, bitchin.
from punk-princss :
hey - it's me- Jack. I had to change my diary cause of that prick that was harassing me. Just wanted to let ya know of the change! My new diary looks sOOOO much Cooler too!!!
from peth :
Yeah, your click of the week, this week (vroom vroom), caused me to waste a good 40 minutes looking at the stile's fucks of the month, and those 40 minutes later, my fingers were too tired to type a response....
from blandman :
Your "click of the week" frequently leaves my desktop with a number of pornographic browser windows open. It makes for undesirable conversations with co-workers. I must proceed with caution...
from scot2hot :
Hey B you know that men are better drivers than women. It must be the Driving sence located in the small head between my legs. And you don't have one. No points, not one at fault accident. I would let you borrow my penis to help your driving but im very attached to it.
from btchelicious :
General question for anyone who might be reading these notes:
Why doesn't anyone comment on my "Click of the Week?"
from peth :
as to your tasty bit of tease, in the last entry involving your court experience, you fleetingly mentioned the vice of Onan (not really) and malls, two of everybody's favorite things. favorite pasttimes. whacking off and shopping. rubbing one in and shelling out the dough. blowing one's wad, either way you slice it. Anyway, I was just mentioning that we, your readers, were anxious to hear the story about your other court experience, as it sounds....juicy.
from peth :
court) and now we are all panting to hear the other court story....
from jack32483 :
Hey oh bitchiness-one. Lol. thanks for stickin up fer me! I got ANOTHER person who thinks i suck- pitty-sing. Oh well. See people are pathetic- cause pitty-sing will probably end up sayin sumthin about my design yet she needed to get HER design from a professional. I programmed my site BYMYSELF! lol no help from no one else- damn i'm good.
from sooner :
Dear Bitchy. My face is healing slowly. I do not believe you are actually sorry, but I don't think that should affect our friendship. It will be fun for you to guess exactly when I will exact my revenge.
from peth :
Oh, bitchie, you made my party sound so much better than I remember it! All I can seem to recall of the evening was lying awkwardly in the bathtub, blindfolded, as occasional warm, pungent streams were poured over my semi-nude body....I woke up the next morning, sticky, with a pain in my gut. my blue penis is now missing. Do you know who might have borrowed it?
from scot2hot :
Do you really read all of this dribble?? I think not. I'll bet that you wont even know that this message is here. This is like an unwelcome invader. A viroid particle that has infested its' host. With a stabbing motion, a point sharper than man could possible create, cannula is driven into your flesh. Injecting the instructions for your demise. HI-C :)
from sooner :
Bitchy, I will not vomit at the party. Unless you put your tongue too far down my throat. Also, it is my understanding that one can enjoy anal sex in any font. Even Wingdings and Hattenschweiler. And though my constitution is a little delicate to consume them, I will still be bringing plenty of Flavor Blast Fritos. I want you to be able to try them. I want that for you.
from bevin :
Btchelicious, you are my hero. I hate the Cherry Hill Housewives (especially since I worked a long stint at the Cherry Hill Mall--thank god I got out before the holidays). This semester I've resurrected "Bite My Ass". I say it to the fags a lot. Perhaps someone with gold membership could start that diaryring. There should be no rules--only snide comments.
from sooner :
It's amazing how close you came to nailing me. I'm actualy a red haired black man. Amazing.
from sooner :
I have been training all week. Bring on the pudding!
from jack32483 :
i wont have sex on the rag because my boyfriend thinks it would be nasty- personally i wouldn't mind trying it. ;) So vita C was snooty? how so? like- stuck up?
from sooner :
I am, in fact, a new mother to Victoria and Albert. They didn't suckle my teet or anything. They are just new to me.
from peth :
And so I am thinking maybe you should start an "Up Yours" diaryring, and I will join, although my diary is pretty tame.
from peth :
You know, i miss a very underused insult from my childhood. Nobody says "Up Yours" anymore. I like it.
from peth :
if'n I start a penis envy diaryring, will you join?
from sooner :
Oh, Bitchy. My camel toe is not so pronounced. Perhaps you can help me dress before the event and we can see if we can find some way to coax it to swell up.
from peth :
That Pennsauken High School site is so ferociously ugly.
from peth :
i like the pics of young Herr rothenhofer.
from sooner :
Guess I'll never be Bitchy's Bitch. Not my fault. She's your friend.
from peth :
no mud, no cats, no blink 182s allowed in my house. you can wrassle, but you'll have to do it dry. Oh, and Btch, I love the 3 column-look with the delicious devil ducks...archie mcphee is the bomb, as those young folks say.
from sooner :
Oh, Bitchy, (is it ok if I call you Bitchy?) I don't want to fight either. Unless you consent to one final throw down in the mud pit. No one's ever beat me at mud wrestling. I am UNDEFEATED!
from sooner :
Oh. I dinna know about the fabulous Peth paradigm. I guess that means my secret party wasn't fabulous after all.
from sooner :
Oh, it's ok. I had my own secret party and you weren't invited. Too bad you weren't there at my secret party. Too, too bad.
from peth :
he's so jealous, I can taste it on his earlobes.
from sooner :
Speaking of secret pleasures, how was the secret Peth/Btchelicious party last night? The one I was not invited to? How was it?
from sooner :
yes, working at RULL is a delight. Since you don't work here you will never know it's secret pleasures
from sooner :
I feel like you're not telling me everything about this "go fuck yourself" theory you've proposed. In fact, I get the distinct impression that when you say you want to put "go fuck yourself" at the end of all your business correspondence, you're actually using a code by which you have just told me to go fuck myself. Well, let me just say, if I could, I would.
from peth :
it's all true. You should try running to the loo when this guy is around....you're on the pot, and suddenly, the door whines open and you hear this little whispered, "Hey, hey...whatcha doing in there? Are ya peein'? Um, I just came in to wash my hands...hu, how are ya? You don't mind if I just wash my hands awhile, hm?"
from sooner :
Actually it's a come on. They've all read my diary and know I have a urine fetish. I'm obsessed with waste and stuff. Yes, it's odd, but don't you judge me.
from sooner :
Yes they are children. At the time it was the only validation I could get. Now I have you though. Thanks and stuff. I love your diary too. Especially now that it's green.
from sooner :
They have extra bar b q flavor powder. Do you have a take based on the description?
from sooner :
oh, and spike? What is your take of Flavor Blast Fritos?
from sooner :
alas, I was a student during the unfortunate period that vilified phonics. The whole word method has left my spelling crippled and my dependence on spell check nearly absolute. As a result I have become fluent in typo. I can read right across them, know exactly what they mean despite the phonetic spelling, post any way. Oh, Andrew! Why isn't there spell check in guestbooks and notes? Why?
from peth :
thank you for liking my colors...i tried to find a new text color, and wound up redoing todos los colors....i cannot leave it alone, like an itchy rash or a flushed sex organ. I washed the front of the stove off thus far, in preparation. I also dusted my house plants.
from bevin :
Re: Shopping, Prophesy and Menstruation I, too, went shopping today. There were old ladies in my way who kept glaring at me for being between them and wherever and my obvious swiftness. Excuse me for putting fruit in my bag quickly instead of carefully selecting it piece by piece. Excuse me for passing you on the right so that I could get to where the cous cous is. I will have to try hiding their cart next time as retailiation for their meanness. Damn commie old ladies who spread Anthrax!!
from sooner :
The Fetching Peth must have a party and invite as her guest both you and I. At the party there should be a stripper. Also there should be Flavor Blast Doritos.
from sooner :
Yes, Brett told me that he was struck by Mickey's ear, as the human within turned quickly and suddenly to flee. I suppose that would be a hook.
from sooner :
Thank you for the link! I learned a great deal. For instance, there really was a Mrs. T! Her name was Mary Twardzik. I'm not sure why I'm referring to her in the past tense, she is not dead. I wonder if she is listed. Also the trick for the grocery aisles is to walk in with a limp. You can have someone kick you or you can just fake it. In any event they will give you a little motorized cart which can be used to squish the toes or topple the carts of aisle blockers. They will never say anything to you because they will think you damaged and it would make them feel bad to bark at someone who is damaged. Delicious new colors. How did you know green was my favorite?
from sooner :
I was insanely jealous of you, but you seem to have one of those faces that just doesn't make an impression. My memories of you are that you were in front. Also, I never wanted to "talk" your book as you suggest, but I did want to trip you when I saw you on the stairwell.
from sooner :
Oh my golly! I was there at Borders when David Sedaris was late to read. I have been in the same room as you. I wonder how many other times our lives have crossed and we, that is you and I, remained blissfully unaware. Were at the Art Museum on July 17? TLA the last time Super Diamond, (The wonderous Neil Diamond cover band) played? How about September's First Friday? Please email your complete schedule for the past three years to numbercrunching@sooner.diaryland.com so that I may do the math for us. Also, Peth did tell me you were dangerous. She is just trying to cover up her complicity because she is afraid you will get dangerous on her. It is true.
from peth :
i told him nothing! he figured out the dangerous part all on his own, because he is so very, very clever.
from sooner :
Peth said you were dangerous. That is what I have to say.
from sooner :
Yes, Peth has told me about you. I am unsure what to say about it though. I don't know what to say.
from sooner :
I am delighted to meet you as well. It is a pleasure to be speechless at you.
from sooner :
I don't even know what to say.
from peth :
I am sure that there is a diary named "whitetrash" and that you will find it in time, and if there isn't one already, mayhaps your excitement will cause one to manifest in some miraculous way. welcome!
from peth :
You are so crescent fresh. how do I tell you the entry date? you mean, the entry to which my note refers? that would make sense. I am noting in reference to your fine waffle salsa distressed leathers #1 entry. it is so very good, i feel tingly and have to go to the bathroom now. arse rock!

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