messages to comebacktome:
(click here to add new message):

from msjessica :
Thank you! <3
from dangerspouse :
I got a glee squeal from you! Wow, you really DID miss me, huh? You must really be a loser. But, I understand, soon to be "Loser, PhD"!! Wow, that's awesome! Glad I'm back, so I can now stalk you as you start this horrific, and horrifically expensive, journey. Good luck! And Merry Christmas :)
from silver4 :
Thanks :) I’ll come around with some good news. Totally needed to vent because I’m so over things this year and that just takes the damn cake. I have a ton of catching up to do on reading what’s going on with my d-land world.. Hope you’ve been doing well! I just need to grab a bottle of wine and catch up on your entries
from raven72d :
PhD work? Congrats on that, and good luck.
from dangerspouse :
Hmmm. No time to update...no time to scratch your arse...no time to add Dangerspouse to your list of Favorite Diaries....but time to return asinine notes Dangerspouse leaves you. Ok, sure, I understand. *sob*.....
from dangerspouse :
Speaking of "Can we get back to updating now..." Well?
from dangerspouse :
As soon as I sober up. So...2023?
from dangerspouse :
Thank you for the birthday wishes! Yeah, the tart and mini-tartettes were indeed a treat you should be sorry you missed. But I'll tell you what, if you plan ahead and come visit me on my NEXT birthday, I might be persuaded to reproduce them. Do it! They're worth it! ;)
from dangerspouse :
WHAT IS IT WITH CHICKS AND ALPACAS?! Lol...they are cute little buggers though, aren't they. Yup: carrots. See how you've grown as a person by reading my blog? I even surprise myself sometimes with my brilliance in so many areas. Hey, speaking of brilliance: thanks for the link to the NZ possum couture! I tell ya, I don't think I've ever read a more persuasive endorsement than, "they kept my tits from freezing off". I think we both breathed a sigh of relief on that one. Anyway, thanks much for the suggestion and link. I love the green double-knit! Thing is...NewWifey(tm) gave me the ol', "You've spent 200 dollars on hats in the last three years. No more! If you're not warm enough, wear all 8 of 'em at once!" WOMEN! But...maybe I can get her to relent. She's Irish. I've got booze. I think I see a plan.... :)
from dangerspouse :
" I wonder if maybe it's the daily grind of the constant BS that you go through that has perhaps been compounding and then your comment has been the straw that broke the camel's back?" That's a very good point, and one I hadn't considered. If only I knew who it was that complained, perhaps I'd understand better what stresses she was otherwise under. Thanks for the great note!
from dangerspouse :
Good grief. I go away for a few weeks, and this is what happens? You get accosted? In a SUPERMARKET? That's it. I'm never leaving again. This shall not stand! Damn, but it was upsetting to read how shittily you were treated there. I'm not surprised there are women out there who generalize this behavior to all men, even if it's unwarranted. Reminds me of that old quote, "Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men are going to kill them." Hopefully with more and growing exposure of the issue there will be some redress to the imbalance going forward, but...it sure is taking long. Like, thousands of years too long. Hang in there, sister. A lot of people, including men, are fighting the Good Fight in this arena. We will win eventually.
from jarofporter :
i remember reading the "tea" analogy a while back, it's perfect! and thanks for the other links, i'll check them out soon.
from jarofporter :
i'm sorry you had to put up with that & that the other guy did nothing about it. you're definitely not over-reacting! if you have any men in your life that you'd like to have actually understand this, give them the link to this article, it helped me immensely, and i've not found a better explanation. https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-reality-that-all-women-experience-that-men-dont-know-about-kelly-jrmk/?fbclid=IwAR0iVXcjjNaM_jE-OxeV_pzJCOlxaZZLVJSf7MuNCkmOirj1svAOex-ZMo0
from jarofporter :
you have every right to your feelings on this, and whether to disclose or not as you see appropriate, and how much, if at all. if it doesn't feel comfortable for you, be true to yourself & keep it private until it does, if ever. don't ever feel pressured into doing/saying anything you're not ready for. just my humble opinion. :-)
from college-kid :
Personally, I always feel better if I just lay everything out. I want to be with someone who loves me for the whole me, not just what I show to them. But then again, I don't really have the best experiences with my method, so you could very well be right about keeping it to yourself. Hope it all works out. *Hugs*
from dangerspouse :
Click bait. Works every time. ;)
from dangerspouse :
Hey bud, thanks for the nice note of commiseration. She was indeed a badass, and a hilarious badass at that. Yes - all must bow to the lemons!
from dangerspouse :
Alrighty then! Glad to hear it :) Just remember to make the adjustment for "regular" yeast. Instant yeast gets mixed in with the dry ingredients initially, other yeasts generally do not (they have to be "proofed"). Regular also takes longer to rise. But as long as you're familiar with working with it, you should be good to go. Let me know how it worked out if you ever try it. And thanks for the note(s) :)
from dangerspouse :
You're welcome. I had fun doing it, AND got to eat the spoils. Y'know, if I'd known you had such trouble sourcing ingredients I would have made things even simpler. Like this: dump 3.5 cups flour in a bowl, add a couple of spoonfuls of sugar, a spoonful of salt, a package of instant yeast, and then enough warm water to make a dough ball. Then follow all the assembly instructions I detailed on my blog. No worries about milk, butter, honey, etc. You don't even need a bread loaf pan. Just form it into a loaf shape on a pan or oven proof tile, and stick it in the oven til done. That's bread at its simplest, and very serviceable. Can't find yeast? Try: https://shop.coles.com.au/a/a-national/product/lowan-yeast-dried-instant or https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/productdetails/184917/lowan-yeast-dried-instant . Good luck! :)
from dangerspouse :
Oh for fuck's sake. Whine whine whine. Fine, you win AGAIN. Stand by for action....
from dangerspouse :
A "certain someone" approves of you finally putting up another fucking entry. Sheesh. That was like pulling teeth. Anyway...congrats on moving in to the new place! Ooooo, new sheets! Boxes from mom! (Gosh, they grow up so fast, don't they?) Let's see, what to address first. How 'bout this: I'M NOT DOING A YOUTUBE VIDEO SO GET OVER IT. Sorry to break your heart, but it's for the best. Speaking of breaking your heart, that leads me to #2: dump Mr. Tepid-At-Best-In-The-Sack. Aside from the fact that sex should consistantly be a 9, MINIMUM, with a potential life partner, all your other concerns raise some real red flags. Face it chica, the guy's a socially retarded control freak who will also probably abandon you 3 months after you give birth to his first child because "I need my sleep!". I'm an online relationship expert, so you know it's true. Finally, the most important thing. Bread. YAY, YOU COOK LIKE ME! Yeah, fuck those shitty recipes. What the fuck do they know? Idiots. But...this note is already too long, so I'm not gonna make it even longer by giving my vague-but-accurate instructions. So you have two options. Either email me direct, or keep your panties on and wait til I do a bread making entry (hopefully) shortly. THEN take your panties off.
from dangerspouse :
Hey listen, I'm thinking the offer to send out recipes was a bad idea. Why? I DON'T USE RECIPES! I forgot. What am I gonna do, say stuff like: "add enough liquid til it looks like bread dough, and make it a mix of water and something else"? I'll tell you what...did you read my "Whey to Go" entry, where I did a pictorial lesson in how to make ricotta cheese? If I did something like that, but showing how to make a loaf of basic white bread, do you think you could follow along? I'm thinking that might be better than trying to type out some idiotic stream of consciousness ramble written out recipe that might not make sense to anyone other than me. Oh, and: get off your ass and write another entry already! That is all.
from dangerspouse :
Wheeeeeeeeee, that Seth Sentry song slayed me! Awesomeness! Thanks for sending it along :)
from dangerspouse :
OH, regards the epic note you left at my place: 1. Yes, she is. 2. Are you sure that's drool? Wouldn't be the first time.... 3. Ok. I'll send you the link. :)
from dangerspouse :
Now THAT'S the way to give a 6 month update. Sex! Awards! Auntie! Random! Asshole on a plane! Nice guy in a car! Sex! Passionfruit tart! Drama mama! New flat! Sex! Whew. I'm exhausted just recounting it all. Well, good luck with all of it (especially the PhD). My thoughts regarding Mr. Considerate But Tepid Lover: this is why god gave us alcohol. And porn. Apply both liberally. To both of you. Also: HURRY THE HELL UP WITH CLONING, SCIENTISTS! If I could make copies of myself to send to desperate women like yourself, none of this would ever be an issue.
from papotheclown :
That's all great to hear. Sorry if I came across as lecturey. It just kind of spewed out of me. But yes, that book is amazing (I am reading it now). It's been making the rounds of the little kink community that I'm a part of, and everyone raves about it.
from papotheclown :
It's good to have you back. I seriously missed reading you. My last relationship seems to be pretty similar to your current one. I think it ultimately ended because I became obsessively insecure and fixated on all the things that I knew I wasn't (she didn't find me hot, sexual chemistry was always slightly off, etc). It sounds like your fella is handling all of that really well, but I would still encourage you to make sure you are really expressing why you want to be with him and what makes him wonderful and great. Especially when discussing the things he could be doing better. We all make jokes about the "fragile male ego" but really, the way men are socialized is to be the best at everything, and if you can't get your partner off every single time, then you can't be a real man. I am sure you know all that already, but that's all stuff I really wish my ex knew, so I figured I'd share just in case. Also, "Women's Anatomy of Arousal" by Sheri Winston is a fantastic book that he (and more importantly, you) would definitely benefit from. There's lots of fun homework! Anyway, good to have you back.
from jarofporter :
congrats, on both the apartment, and the guy! as for how he behaves, it might not be "normal" but it's how it should be. and typically, guys like us are never the ones you'd pick out of a lineup as attractive. funny/sad how that works... good luck w/the move!
from candoor :
are you coming back? :)
from dangerspouse :
Yeah, well, see, I *wanted* to comment on your "I HAD SEX, GUYS!" entry. But every time I read, and re-read, it, I started jerking off and my wrist got too sore to type anything. Oh, and I'm also a lazy piece of shit who hasn't left notes ANYWHERE in a while because of some blanket of malaise that settled over me a few weeks ago and refuses to be shrugged off. Sorry! Seriously, I am sorry, as I've been following your dolorous account of vaginismus for some time and have really been hoping for an outcome like this. Of course, I'd always hoped it would be with ME, rather than A2. But waddaya gonna do. I would have had a tough time explaining to NewWifey(tm) that I was doing it as a public service, so perhaps it's for the best. Anyway, I hope this does lead to a better class of relationship now for you. I thought that was one of the most heartening things you wrote in that entry. And...stay away from chokers. Air is kinda important. (ps. If you ever come over, I'll make you that bread pudding. At least THAT'S an orgasm I can give you without NewWifey(tm) complaining.) :)
from silver4 :
Boo to the bad dental news. Just come out to Vegas, easy enough!! Teeth are frustrating sometimes...as are men/relationships. Clearly, I'm much better at dealing with the teeth lol. And I have yet to speak to him. Haven't had any alone time. Ideally soon. Bleh.
from nineofswords :
Your most recent entry is a perfect example of us having things in common. Here's what resonated most: we both work in health care, worry about being alone forever, have intense job stress and no support, I bought a house as a single female as you are trying to do, we both have douchebags in our past. I dated the misogynist, the choking guy, the hopeless alcoholic, found THE ONE I really loved, who loved me, and guess what? He couldn't deal with actual conversation/ real life and so... broke my heart. So yes... we've been living parallel lives in some ways. Cheers!
from silver4 :
Thanks for your support!! I need it lol. The update will be soon, ideally. Ughhhh
from nineofswords :
You and I have so much in common.
from silver4 :
Congratulations!!! Happy for you, sounds like you had a much needed and amazing experience and confidence booster. You rock!
from papotheclown :
I am ultra stoked for you. Get it! (but you know, in a way that is mindful and both comfortable and pleasurable for you, etc)
from jarofporter :
that's great, really happy for you!
from silver4 :
💁🏾
from silver4 :
Haha..well I can take a little bit of choking, and other extra behaviors, but I only like to reserve that stuff for someone I already trust. Not some new guy who wants to line it up the first time we hook up. I don't know you, boy! Lol
from silver4 :
Oh. My. Gosh. Choking Guy is absolutely insane. He doesn't deserve an ounce of your attention and has zero appreciation for your generosity and efforts. Screw that!! Well, clearly, don't screw that lol. Seriously, you offered more than enough. He just needs to play with himself because he clearly can't play well with others
from jarofporter :
wow, really sorry about you having to deal with choking guy, but glad you found an outlet to regain some perspective!
from papotheclown :
First of all, god damn. Everything you did in that story was so incredibly sensual and sexy. I would be over the moon to get the kind of treatment that the asshole choking guy just shit all over. Fuck that guy. No, wait. Don't fuck that guy. I am glad that you can recognize that who and what you are was not the problem. I hope Mr. Asshole Choking Guy gets therapy, but in the meantime I hope you get to revel in the legion of people who can appreciate your talents.
from jarofporter :
yeah, she was really cool, still hard to believe she isn't going to be contacting me again, doesn't seem real. thanks for the note, much appreciated.
from and-the-way :
Certainly. I think I still have your email address from a few years back. Is it the same?
from silver4 :
I feel you on that hookup nonsense. It's sad that we can't be as carefree as we once possibly were. I find that I shy away from meeting up with people or wanting to go with someone because it can be dangerous. I am the idiot who thinks that nothing will ever happen to me, that I laugh in the face of danger, and that I will fight someone who tried to eff me over (and I would try my hardest, dammit!), but common sense is that the crazies are out there. I for sure want to have the fun, but I just don't trust people!!
from ladyofjazz :
"I just want someone who isn't a complete fuckhead to be vaguely decent/respectful and available for an occasional tryst, on a weekly basis at most. WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT?!" I hear you! You can never get what you want when you want it. Life just isn't that convenient. Godammit.
from silver4 :
I'm sorry to hear about loss. Sounds like a wonderful woman in your life, and that is a huge emotional resource and influence to lose. Sending you my love
from ladyofjazz :
Aw thanks for the feedback. I don't think I will go on Meds. I just have to fix my life. Do the yoga class, meet new people. All scary shit when you feel low. Love what I've read of your diary so far. I hate dating too but I think I might have to try it soon. 'Be proactive...' it always feels a bit contrived, but it's been years since I did it. Guess it's all changed with Tinder. Uff.
from ladyofjazz :
Just found you. I'm sorry for your huge loss. X
from lollirottt :
You're welcome. If you want my pw you can email me. [email protected] :)
from lollirottt :
Hey you. We have not talked in forever. Haha do you even remember me? Danielle. Also for--you. Anyway, I'm really sorry about your aunt. I really am. I lost my dad in January. And I love my aunt with all my heart. She's been a mom to me. She had breast cancer and had a mastectomy and chemo. I can't imagine losing her. So I'm so sorry your aunt passed away. *hugs* leave me a note if you want. I've been wanting to leave you one for so long, but for some reason have been too nervous about it.
from jimbostaxi :
Please accept my condolences on the passing of your aunt
from thruthecrowd :
ugh, yes, I have said since March that this year is obviously a year of endings and finalizing things...and it just keeps happening.
from dangerspouse :
LOL! Thanks for the rockin' note, kiddo! Yeah, it's a tall order to top Mormon/Moron Bukkake, but I gave it my best shot. At least I had photographic evidence this time, something I sorely wished I'd had of Wifey and the porn soiree. I'm glad I was able to live up to your low standards of humor :)
from raven72d :
so--- did you finally get to misbehave?
from papotheclown :
I feel you. Try not to think too much (I know it's impossible, but try) and just enjoy yourself and see where things go. It sounds like he is trying to understand.
from silver4 :
Well damn! Happy for you; get it!! He sounds exciting and like a good partner to have to experience these things with. It's always the ones that we least expect as an option to be the ones who bring the excitement. Please keep your dear readers posted :)
from silver4 :
Hahah man that movie was crazy! I think it takes a special person to like stuff like that.. That's where I come in! The only other person I know who saw it and enjoyed it was my guy, and like attracts like I guess! He watched it with his roommates and they didn't understand or like it. The person who created that movie must have an odd mind
from silver4 :
Especially the wrong hand!
from dangerspouse :
I just KNEW someone out there would want more goats. Thanks, babe :)
from dangerspouse :
How about getting one of those Real Dolls? They make male versions now too, you know. Yeah they're a little pricey, but just think: they're 90% as smart as the real thing, will wear whatever you tell them to, and won't poach your Ben and Jerry's. Sounds like they're tailor made for you!
from dangerspouse :
Dammit. Thwarted by the Sisterhood Clause AGAIN. I swear sometimes it would be easier just giving in and going gay. Oh well, you're probably right. NewWifey(tm) would probably end up cross-stitching a giant letter "A" in scarlet floss right across those perky paps you're so proud of. And that would be a shame. So I guess, good luck in your girly grail quest. There must be SOME (childless) male out there willing to let your liberate yourself on him. Right...?
from dangerspouse :
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! What the fuck has gone so wrong in the world that MEN ARE NOW TURNING DOWN BOOTY CALLS?! Isn't this one of the 7 signs of the Apocalypse? It is! I've seen it in the Book of Revelations, I'm sure! Seriously, what is happening to my gender? That guy who's saddled with "feelings and shit"? That's a GIRL you fell for! (And btw, 3 kids is a deal breaker. Run....right after you rape him.) Seriously, if you ever find yourself in northwest New Jersey gimme a call and I will ride you like a stagecoach from here to Coachella. And then I'll dump your ass off at the airport and you'll never hear from me again. You're welcome. You can even do NewWifey(tm) if you're so inclined. Damn. I can't understand men where you are. What does a girl have to do over there? Walk around starkers with a mattress strapped to her back? Jesus, over here if a woman says "Hi" to you, the guy is ready to go. Pathetic. You have my sympathy. (BTW, Whystinger and Jombo? You guys should be fuckin' ashamed of yourselves. Any answer other than, "HOW 'BOUT YOU FUCK ME, BABY!" is being a pussy. You pussies.) BTW girl...thanks for the great note :)
from jimbostaxi :
I understand where my friend whystinger is coming from but if there's a choice between"hey come down here no strings attached and one that I had to work on I'm taking the one that I had to work on over the other. I know it sounds ludicrous but it's part of the game no? You work a little on it and you get your reward. Plus I'd always be thinking this is too easy there must be a catch :0)
from whystinger :
You seem a lot like another friend, hopefully you aren't her. Beats me why some ignore a proper booty call, although for some of us, it is hard to manage a booty call without falling in love. Still, that is no good reason to turn down a booty call. I think it is sexy when a woman is the aggressor and makes it sweeter. There is the thing with some guys who can't deal with an aggressive woman. I pity them because they are missing out on some great sex.
from silver4 :
Hahah well I try not to lecture too hard on the flossing, because--don't tell anyone -- I don't floss every day either!! Lol
from silver4 :
I honestly can't stand when people have really poor oral hygiene! Like, come on, you are a grown adult, why can't you keep your mouth clean?? I don't understand why it's so hard to do! I understand with kids because they just don't care until they start liking the opposite sex haha..I even tell the teens who are old enough, I clean off a little amount of plaque and tell them how bad it stinks, and if they ever want to kiss a girl or boy, their breath will stink if they don't start cleaning it up! I don't care if they hate me for saying it!! I'm already the enemy lol
from aryssa90 :
You're already found me! Except I have the wrong parts, or at the least neither of us are lesbians
from dangerspouse :
Lol. Fear not, pandering acolyte! I'll slog it out in the muck here with the rest of you underachievers for as long as I'm able. BTW, how can I find your highly praised (by you) WP photos?
from silver4 :
I'm waiting for Airport guy to text you and some magical connection takes place. I love how you kept seeing him, those coincidences are insane. Not sure about this touchy feely guy though..
from jarofporter :
Way to go with being assertive & chasing after him! I really dig 'cosmic coincidences' like that - hope he calls you soon!
from misfitstray :
Why don't you talk to him as frankly as he is? Ask him those questions. What could go wrong?
from silver4 :
Thank you!! Eek!!
from dangerspouse :
Hey kiddo, thanks for such a supportive note! You rock. Yeah, I came to the same conclusion: not being a human mayo squirt bottle is small price to pay for things like breathing and watching "Powerpuff Girls" reruns whenever I like. Oh, and fucking my wife. Whenever I like. Still...shit. I'm gonna miss that feeling (I assume). Oh well. Now, back to you: as much as I enjoyed reading your 2015 recap, I was dismayed about your lack of boinkage. Waddup, dawg?? That's it. If your dry spell continues, I'm sending you out a Real Doll. And a mayo squirt bottle. C'mon, chica, get in the game! :)
from and-the-way :
aw thanks. no prize...i only went to a house party but they all got a kick out of it, which is all i really wanted anyway.
from and-the-way :
also, i both cringed and laughed out loud about your online dating experience(s). i've never tried it myself, but i've seldom heard success stories. dating is weird.
from and-the-way :
thank you! it definitely took some work. i'm thinking next year i'm just going to go with a pair of cat ears and call it a costume haha.
from jarofporter :
"I know so many lovely, cute/hot, successful, NORMAL single women." really? send 'em to michigan, we seem to have a dearth of them... ;-)
from dangerspouse :
Hey hey, thanks for the return notes (*coughfinallycough*). Lol. Had to go back and re-read a few of your entries to get back up to speed on what you were responding about. Glad you got to the airport!! And yeah, those North African types are whizzes when it comes to veggies. I'm right with ya there, sister. Thanks for the note about my rockin' wife! She can be a handful to live with sometimes (insert eye-rolling emoji here) but at least it's never boring! :)
from dangerspouse :
I apologize for my gender. We can't help it.
from bedbunny :
Holy shit your mom sounds like my mom.
from dangerspouse :
Did you get to the airport ok?? (And on an unrelated, sorta, note: what did you cook that had pumpkin in it? I love pumpkin dishes!)
from misfitstray :
Clap, clap, clap! I‘m totally with you on that movie, besides the crapppy acting.
from jarofporter :
haven't seen 50 shades, but i couldn't agree with you more, based on others' descriptions. spanking? "whoa! let's not get crazy now!!" those silly, sheltered, sexually repressed people are funny/sad.
from nineofswords :
You and I have things in common.
from dangerspouse :
So...whatever happened to Gallus if he was so good with the lingus? You let THAT get away?
from jimbostaxi :
Just added your to my list :0)
from dangerspouse :
A masters in linguistics?! Holy crap! Now I'm too embarrassed to write any more, knowing an actual smart person is reading my typed effluence. STOP JUDGING ME!! On the other hand: woo hoo for great sex analogies! Glad you like those. Keep judging me on 'em :)
from aryssa90 :
i always want you
from dangerspouse :
No, seriously, mink have got to be, like, the happiest life form on the planet (outside of the yet-to-be-discovered Cumquat). I mean, they get to fuck like mink ALL THE TIME! Think about it! The rest of us have to settle for fucking like them only when all the stars align *just so* and our partner is drunk and/or insane enough. If not, it's back to fucking like tapir. Which, granted, is still sex and ipso facto worth brushing one's teeth for. And NewWifey(tm) says, "ALL MY GIRLFRIENDS WANT ME TO MAKE THEM ONE OF THOSE TRUCKS SO THEY CAN FINALLY GET THEIR HUSBANDS TO STOP PESTERING THEM!!" So who knows? Maybe you'll see a line of them in different colors on the shelf at Toys-in-Babeland one of these days soon :)
from papotheclown :
Hang in there, kid. I am obviously in no place to give you advice on how to deal with anxiety, but I think you are going to make it through this. Keep your head up.
from dangerspouse :
Thank you for the sweet and thoughtful note. I appreciate it, and agree completely.
from papotheclown :
It's fun that we have the same list. It's a good list. I've been reading up on your diary too and can relate to a lot of what you're going through. With this friend that you are kind of falling for, I say go for it. Because 1. it's not my life and it's much easier to tell you to be a risk-taker since I don't have to directly suffer the consequences and 2. guys tend to be oblivious about things and he may just not know you are interested or how to make a move. I look forward to reading about how it goes.
from papotheclown :
Thanks for your note and hello. I look forward to reading your stuff.
from dangerspouse :
If they broke up a year ago, is it possible he's not over her yet and that's why he's not picking up on your cues? Just a thought. (Hey, thanks for the rockin' note at my place. I'll take a look for "Ghost" and NG shortly. I just finished the first season of "Sword Art Online" which was refreshingly original, and I've just started on "Gunslinger Girl", which is WILD. And Italian mob is taking terminally ill little girls and making them quasi-cyborg hit girls that look too innocent to pose a threat. But the girls still have threads of humanity buried in their DNA, so...I think you see where it's going. And it's a hoot! Very dark.) Thanks again :)
from dangerspouse :
Has he seen the "grumpy/neurotic/introspective" side of you yet? If he has, and he didn't bolt out the door, consider asking him what he thinks about dating. If he hasn't seen that side of you, consider that he presumably will if you're dating and it might spoil even the friendship that you now value if he takes it badly. On the other hand....he's a guy. We're simple creatures. Hand him a sandwich and hop in the sack and he'll forget all about it. So I say go for it :)
from cdghost :
hope you are doing better
from raven72d :
lovely entries...
from se7enchance :
I randomly clicked on your journal because of your handle, and now I've bookmarked it. I want to consume it. Reading your writing is intoxicating. <3
from stepfordtart :
Hey! Thanks so much for your note! Its a shame that she thought you were writing about her - and kind of dumb of her to think you would bad mouth her in a place where she would be likely to see it, I'd have thought. Still, glad you made your peaces eventually. I await signs of the impending apocalypse with an equal mix of trepidation for me and joy for you! s x
from jarofporter :
really cool that you have good communication with the guy. that's the most important thing, really. open communication and trust. positive vibes heading out for you!
from idontpretend :
I'm so happy for you =)
from and-the-way :
yes, of course! send me an email at [email protected]
from jimbostaxi :
Hi, I know this may sound like bullshit coming from some total stranger but way back when I went through some major shit Loss of job, lengthy hospital stay, etc, etc and Thought I was going lose it. The obstacles seemed insurmountable as a whole so I decided I wouldnt think of all my problems at once and just take them one at a time,.,, hour by hour if need be.,,,then,,,little by little I regained control of my situation. I wish you the best of luck in your situation stay strong!! ( it aint over till the fat taxi man sings!! :0)
from dangerspouse :
Are you really a girl saying you need help understanding a boy? What is this world coming to....
from dirtyboots :
I have a dude friend I talk about deep stuff with, but it's not like he follows up on every single thing I mention�like this guy does, because that sounds intense. Does he want you to be his girlfriend but in a mum kind of way?
from studionique :
I clicked on your diary because I liked your name. Diaryland is always a place I find introspective solitude. Anyways, I relate to loving the quick wit and banter. I'm sure it was a sacrifice to give that up. I hope you guys can find the happy medium soon.
from as-i-know-it :
happy to have discovered your diary :)
from sexyatheist :
here's my take on it. give him one more shot because you had written him off anyway. who cares what he thinks about your dignity honey, if he's not into it, you weren't planning on having him around anyway. but he might surprise you and to me, the potential benefit far outweighs a little wounded pride. but again, i'm on the outside so it's easier for me. really, i think life is short and meant to be lived. so live it! and then let us know how it goes.
from sexyatheist :
that really sucks about the boy. i'm really sorry his inconsideration impacted your birthday. you deserve much better than that. well happy belated birthday. you rock, don't let some guy make you forget.
from sexyatheist :
i just saw your note from 3 weeks ago about cunty bitches being all cunty! i'm sorry honey, thank you for the kind words. why do people have to suck so much. we should really skype at some point, i'm just so damn busy with school right now. how are things with you?
from samcorday :
i only recently got back to D-land n started to catchup on your diary. that thing abt being driven n all is bs though-had a similar situation with a guy n that is over. and btw being a bitch is good sometimes....lol
from sexyatheist :
i'm sorry honey, if i was anywhere near where you are, i would cuddle the shit out of you! i'm available for a skype session some time if you'd like. i know it's not as good but i'm here if you need me.
from sexyatheist :
no joke my dear, it's crazy how it never seems to come slowly but all at once or none at all. Lily and i should be having some excellent fun soon, as long as i don't screw it up!
from sexyatheist :
perhaps i need more info (maybe you wrote about it and i totally forgot!) but my gut says to do your dissertation. it sucks the life out of you but once it's done, it's done! and then you get your degree and get to move on with your life. what's keeping you from getting it done?
from sexyatheist :
thank you honey! it's nice to be back and have things finally working out for once.
from aryssa90 :
Your $.02 is always most appreciated and generally what I know my logical side needs! You're my Jiminy Cricket lol :)
from dirtyboots :
Thanks for saying hi to my diary! Re: your most recent entry, I got mad lazy for a whole year. Everything came to a standstill. I went to the doctor and found out I had mild depression. That mild depression stuck around for a bit, and then went away. Looking back in my diary at that year, it's pretty obvious something was going on. What I think is - it's OK to be lazy, lost and beige. I was lazy, lost and beige for a while there. I feel like a fair few other people would go there too once in a while. Maybe your brain is making a change in its chemicals or something and it will settle down. It won't make you an inherently lazy person from here on in. I hope you're feelin' fine soon. All the best, bro.
from aryssa90 :
I lubz chu.
from wrappedinyou :
Been reading for a little bit now (found the link through a common d-lander), and I have to say I totally agree with you regarding family having to earn a place in your life just like anyone else. I actually have as hard a time understanding why my friends let their families treat them like crap as they do understanding why I DON'T let my family treat me that way.
from sexyatheist :
ha! good point. i think we all try to be the best versions of ourselves, at the very least, when we first start dating someone. but down here, i feel like i have to hide parts of myself. very annoying!
from sparkle-pink :
Totally interested in your jewellery! Hit me up at [email protected]
from aryssa90 :
Together we will learn to love, You gorgeous hag, you freak machine....either this is from the movie your title was from or I just insulted you mightily. Loves! I want the linkage btw!
from sexyatheist :
hi honey! my username/password combo is the same since i last changed it so i'm not sure why it's not working. i only have one for everyone that reads this so hopefully it will work now. and i'm sorry things with that guy seem to have gone into the friend zone. but he doesn't seem to get you anyway! oh, and side note, i don't like harry potter either. i don't dislike it, i just don't like it. there are some of us out there!
from lollirottt :
Aw yay, I'm glad your date went good. WOOO! =D
from sexyatheist :
yay! see, i knew you could do it! and i love that you came off cool, calm and collected. like the rockstar that you are! you'll have to update us soon and let us know what's going to happen from here. and you're right. i think Lily and i've got this. which i love that you remember her name btw.
from sexyatheist :
you CAN do this. if you start having a panic attack, remember all of the techniques i'm sure you've learned by now (if not, i will email some to you!) and you will be fine. it's good for you to get some quasi dates under your belt for the day you meet someone fantastic. i believe in you!
from aryssa90 :
oh well herrrooo. I only had a frozen bag of corn, I hope it is as effective as a pack of peas :] I am okies, but the side of my nose is really sensitive. I'm just a big baby but it really did hurt. It also makes me re-evaluate my desire to get into at least one girl fight in my life. I am looking forward to your post, I meeeeses chu
from sexyatheist :
i know! i was thinking about you when i found out about the layover and was so bummed i just missed your living there. it would have been awesome!
from avantbedroc :
i'm sorry you have to go through this. xxhugs
from lollirottt :
Heeheehee, I have PLENTY of those 'them bitches be crazy' moments. You can be a crazy bitch with me, if you'd like. =P I must say, that would probably piss me off too. Did you get the email I sent you? <3
from aryssa90 :
ughh I'm so glad you agree with me about the present thing! When he gets better I'm going to talk to him. I'll be willing to compromise and do the joint present thing IF we like, make each other something or go out for a REAL romantic night. It's the thought I want, not the gift. Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't appreciate some shiniessss! I am thinking of you too my dahhhling!
from lollirottt :
Ok nevermind I got your email address. I shall send you the pw. =]
from lollirottt :
Wellllll. My brother's girlfriend's laptop got stolen. So yeah, she just got a new one. Gimme your email again and I'll send you the user/pw. :) *hugs*
from aryssa90 :
good luck on your assignments and OMG IAN SOMERHALDER is SOOOOO HOT. Team Damon all the way. Elena is so stupid, I'd bone him over Stefan any day.
from lollirottt :
We have not talked in FOREVER. And that SUCKS. =[
from sexyatheist :
thank you my friend. i'm glad that you at least believe in me because i am definitely lacking in self confidence right about now. stupid grad school!
from aryssa90 :
it was honestly one of the highlights of my life, opportunities like that only come around once in a very long while. I would LOVE to skype with you on your birthday!!! When is your birthday? And just tell me a time, I will try to make it happen cap'n. It's not like I do anything so anytime works for me, even crazy aussie time ;) And I totally would have gotten it-that would have been an awesome quote-worthy experience :)
from aryssa90 :
I'm sorry :( And why did your friend make other plans? That's kind of crappy, unless they're like...really important plans I suppose? When is your birthday? I'll hang out with chu my dear! And don't worry, you are def not the kind of person who manipulates others to hang out with them...it happened once and it was on a special occasion. Your friends should be willing to hang out with you on your birthday, especially since you've been gone so long!
from aryssa90 :
you are not fucked up my dear. you are bee-yoo-tiful. You should receive an e-mail from me today, and hopefully it won't be from the spam Aryssa. Lubz chu
from aryssa90 :
I forgot, you don't want to get married. We shall just be life partners then! And kittens fo-sho, I do so love the kittehs.
from aryssa90 :
p.s. I lubz chu too. And yes, we shall get the skype situation sorted. I need some time with mah best dlander!
from aryssa90 :
i'll marry you, but I won't give you babies. Puppies maybe?
from aryssa90 :
a pox upon periods and sicknesses! weird boy issues you say? i look forward to you regaling me with tales of your sex kitten-ness. and you're a world traveller, it should be no big deal to make your way over here :p in other news, i am in the process of writing you an e-mail, it will be a short one since nothing goes on in my life and i'm vicariously living through the internets.
from aryssa90 :
maybe i infected you with my e-germs and that's what made you sick :p in other news, jsut pack up and come to the states, I have an extra room :)
from sexyatheist :
when life gives you lemons, i say fuck the lemons and bail. sending out positive energy into the universe for you my friend! sorry it dropped some lemons in your lap.
from aryssa90 :
erm...that was supposed to say slut*. I blame the illness. My body is racked with disease and therefore I am allowed to make super embarrassing typos.
from aryssa90 :
thanks for the note :) The doctor said it's strep and an ear infection :( It totally sucks. I had to get two shots-pennicillen(sp) and a steroid to reduce swelling-and one of them was on my butt. It was super humiliating because i wasn't wearing underwear, but in my defense I literally just rolled out of bed and went there. They probably think I'm a total slit, but whatevs. Hope you're well :)
from aryssa90 :
bahaha@ psychohosebeast! That's a nice one :) I am happy that your job is going well-it sounds sooo much better than the UK ones! Your male friends are really giving you the runaround these days aren't they? I say you just kick them in the balls and let them know who the boss is around here! I have receiveth your email and I will write back to you soon, things are hectic what with the traveling back home. I luuuuubz chu!
from aryssa90 :
ughhh i mees you chu you have no idea!! things have been so crazy but I'm working on an emails for you. It shall detail my nanny position and other various aspects of my life, including how at my grandma's surprise party last night everyone felt the need to lecture me about Bill and responsibility (fiscal and sexual). Lame. I am so excited for you! Moving across the country? Smehhh no big, just another day in the life of yourself. What is this dog I keep hearing about and have you found any smexy Aussie boys? *wink wink*
from sexyatheist :
ha! we're just mentally connected my friend. i can't explain it, perhaps we're some form of soul mates. ooooh, i like that! and i hope so too because i want passion and emotional stability dammit!
from seasons79 :
Thank you for your note (I just found it; perhaps I should set up notifications...)! It made me smile. I'm trying to add some simple, practical things to my daily/weekly routine to make me feel more connected, but it's been difficult with chasing kids around and whatnot... I don't really wear a pentacle to advertise so much as just liking to have it on me. I actually stopped wearing it because it drew too much attention that I wasn't prepared to deal with. Anyway, thanks for reading and the note--hope all is well with you!
from aryssa90 :
i will work on an e-mail to you this weekend about the horrors of this job. let's just say, i really hope i don't have to stay here for too long. alas, i am unwilling to quit until i get another job.
from aryssa90 :
i will work on an e-mail to you this weekend about the horrors of this job. let's just say, i really hope i don't have to stay here for too long. alas, i am unwilling to quit until i get another job.
from aryssa90 :
i meeses chu
from aryssa90 :
we're in the same boat darling.
from aryssa90 :
my dearest darlingest d-land friend- im sorry ive been so piss porr at writing you back. i am in the process of writing you a long-ish letter so, keep an eye on your inbox. in other news, i mees you, my life is boring and i have nothing going on. loves.
from kabukicharms :
I'm gonna start burning them off at the end of the week then send em out from there. Just send me your address to [email protected]
from kabukicharms :
Oh thats just my thought on the matter. I would never force something so gauche and ostentatious as all that on a girl. No, something simple and elegant. A string of small white orchids is more my style. But unfortunately in the states that sort of thing is equated with prom and the associated age of prom goers. Oh' and you know I'd like to point out that wankers in a suit more then likely where not always wankers in suits. It probably took that level of bitch to turn them into one. Though to be fair some of us become dicks the minute we don a suit.
from aryssa90 :
Dude, unless it is to gain right of attorney so that she can be committed, I really can't see why on earth you would want to do that. this made me laugh so hard. you are so funny, if I were a guy, I'd totally date you. Seriously though, hang out with that guy and make him break it off with the she-beast. I wrote you a response note to your note to me earlier, but I was silly and posted it on *my* notes because im a dorkasaurus.
from aryssa90 :
i meeses youuuu! I think it's great that you understand your body's limits and even better that you respect them. So many people refuse to listen to their bodies and it eventually ends up harming them in some way. My skype name is holdhandsnskip (i think, i have to check, its been ages since I've used it) so maybe we shall set up a skype date soon! xoxoxo
from sexyatheist :
i just saw your last note, a skype session would be fantastic! we can remind each other that we are both awesome and worthy and everyone else can just suck it! i hope it's getting a bit better. curious about this big life decision of yours!
from aryssa90 :
hugs! I'm sorry you had a crap weekend (besides the Shakespeare at the Globe event). I appreciate you. :)
from aryssa90 :
my beautifimous friend, i am a horrible writer backer. i sent you a partial email that I have yet to finish. Coming to an inbox near you, part 2 of the tele novella that is aryssa's life! But I mees you. I also had an idea, I am up at really weird hours so...if ever you had time to actually chat (omg, instant replies?!), I could load up my skype-shiz for you. But I knoes how busy you are. Just letting you know that I mees my Erin and I will finish my letter for you and it will be splendiforous. Tell me about your life. xoxoxo (extra xo's because its been too long).
from aryssa90 :
let's open up our own little business together! i'll be the ed psych and you keep doin what youre doin! it will be faaaabulous! chin up girly, i have a nice (half written and not so nice) letter for you! i mees my girl and I wish things were getting better for you!!
from sexyatheist :
i am having just as bad a week as you are. well, at least from the sounds of it. we'll be alright my dear. we always are. it just sucks when we're stuck in it. hugs.
from sexyatheist :
you are absolutely lovely and i adore you. that is all. hope you are well!
from sexyatheist :
oh no honey. i'm so sorry. my heart is with you.
from aryssa90 :
I'm so sorry. I hope you're doing okay. You know I'm here if you need to talk. Sending big hugs and cuddles your way.
from aryssa90 :
burning with questions! hope you're having a wonderful time love! Get some hot swiss ass!
from aryssa90 :
i understand..and srsly, when did you become a marriage counselor? you don't have time for that, you should be seducing unsuspecting men in dark alleys and getting some pants off time! and of course i understand about having the tireds. Looking forward to some emails though-i meesh you!
from aryssa90 :
im looking forward to mah angsty email :) And I'm glad you get to go see your boys! I know youve missed them! I shall mees you during your absence but I have faith that you shall return to my email inbox one day :p BTW, I thought I was going to have to shank a bitch the other night, she was staring at Bill in the market, she was basically having sex with him with her eyes, I could tell. Supermarket bitches be crazy...anywho, enjoy your fresh veggies!!!!
from sexyatheist :
i think even relations with hot dads would be fine! and i've decided fantasizing is perfectly acceptable as long as it doesn't affect rapport. but that could be me just rationalizing. and that's sweet my dear but really, i have no game when i'm actually attracted to someone. i can flirt up a storm with someone i have no interest in though!
from wizzards123 :
Noppers, no hate. Just random babble. Curosity killed the cat, you knooooooooow...
from wizzards123 :
So .. tried to send you email but apperently it didnt like me. Send me a hallo at @ [email protected] and Ill copy/paste it all to ya, if you desire.
from aryssa90 :
ooh i want to hear all about it!
from aryssa90 :
pussy confidence for. the. win. Best entry ever and I have a new hero.
from aryssa90 :
lol it didn't sound disgusting to me, it sounded encouraging. my vagina thanks you. i miss our emails! i hope everything is going alright over there, although from your last entry i can;t see how it would be. i hope you're doing well and you get to the point where happy things start happening and you can write about them :) lovez
from aryssa90 :
im sos orry this is what you came back to. And this will NOT break you, i promise, you are strong! the world needs people like you. email me if you ever need to vent, i bet youre counting down the days until you can get home. things will be better then.
from fangbanger :
That's great, well done you! I really hope your hard work makes a big change :) x
from aryssa90 :
congrats! even one person can make a difference. im proud of you! :)
from sassymcgee :
Sorry to hear about your patient and I hope you kick some serious work butt to fix whatever needs fixing.
from kabukicharms :
...I don't know, Anthony Hopkins doesn't seem like monocle material. But just for you there will be a guest appearance by Dr. Ignacius Von Monocle!
from avantbedroc :
i'm sorry. i'm sad to hear you are upset
from aryssa90 :
i am so sorry :( just know that im sending cuddles your way. if you need to talk or anything you know where to find me. i think you're handling this amazingly and that part of what makes you good at what you do is your ability to care so much. xoxoxox and lots of cuddles
from sassymcgee :
I thought I was the only one to gag at something so trite. And I love the title by the way...it make me chuckle lol.
from aryssa90 :
dont worry bout the email, i know how busy you are. life is pretty shitty in regards to down time right now. i spent most of this weekend sleeping and spent hardly any time with Bill or doing any of the tons of homework i've got. and instead of getting that done right now im writing you a note and watching the remake of Battlestar Galactica so...blech. Make it be Saturday again!
from aryssa90 :
boys that are just friends are the best, their friendships are so uncomplicated. that's why i have like 3 girl friends and he rest are guys. if i were a guy and if I were in london, i would totally hang out with you bc you are def a "cool chick" ;) btw. risk is amazing. have you ever played stratego?
from notlikeyoudo :
Yes, I had found AVEN, thank you. I've been spending the past few days reading through many of the forum comments, and I've found it very helpful. Also, you're really awesome for reading up on asexuality rather than simply dismissing it as many do. I'm glad your friend has you.
from lollirottt :
:( I sowwy you had such a terrible experience. I know it was nowhere near as bad for me as it was for you, but it hurt me pretty bad too when I had one done. As if the pain isn't bad enough, it's INCREDIBLE awkward. Ugh.
from avantbedroc :
I'm sorry it was bad but gosh your entry made me laugh :-)
from fangbanger :
I haven't had my first pap smear yet - although I did have the letter last month to get one booked, so that will be this year. Poo. I have been tested for STI's though so I know exactly how it feels, and for me it is an extremely uncomfortable feeling and I feel rather faint, but I have never had your experience of pain like that, what a bitchy nurse - I can't stand people being so arrogant like that.
from aryssa90 :
if you feel up to it you should def go! have funnnn my dear! and yay for alone/pants off time!
from fangbanger :
Yeah go for it! Fun pub times :D
from fangbanger :
Lol are girly girls really that bad?! I'm actually on neither...I'm in east, woo!
from fangbanger :
Ahhhaha, yeah I know. I'm gonna do some flatsharing later this year, so that will be cool, and probably change my job, so will meet more people then too. Woo. I will take your advice on board!
from fangbanger :
Haha, they are a bit likes haters - but then to be honest I don't talk to people when I'm out and about. Poo. I need to meet some more peoples some time otherwise I shall always be a loner.
from aryssa90 :
did you get the mouse? lol, girly girls can be seriously annoying. but when i move to australia and im your roommate you wont have to worry about that :p just kidding...you will have to worry
from fangbanger :
Haha I figured! Plus I then scoured through your diary to find reference to London. How much longer are you here for? I've only been living here for about 6/7 months, so don't know too many people yet.
from athenyx :
:-D I trust ya. I'll make sure i buy them both asap! I'm just quickly making myself spag bol, then i'm gunna settle down to read the rest of the first one! Eek x
from fangbanger :
I most certainly am in London!
from fangbanger :
P.S watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdasCD68BIE. Warning, mute the sound.
from fangbanger :
LOLS, it was fucking hilarious. I felt it would have been a good idea to hire a child so it didn't look so odd, but what the hey, getting drunk works just as well!!! I feel just the same about social obligations - sounds good at the planning stage, but when you actually have to go do it, I'd rather be at home in my PJ's watching telly.
from fangbanger :
Haha. I already have had private times after just reading about them getting it on, god knows what I am going to do after seeing it with my own eyes!!!!!
from athenyx :
I loathe them. That sucks. A broken toe must hurt like a bitch x
from kabukicharms :
Do what I used to do. Go to the ninety nine cent store, buy some ceramic stuff, smash said stuff, bask in the glow of destruction. My favorites were piggy banks and anything with an uplifting message.
from athenyx :
I feel for you! I still have a year to go before being subjected to that shiz. I'd rather drown in a bath tub full of mushroom flavoured jelly. Ugh.x
from aryssa90 :
eff that bitch and masturbate. it should get your mind off things :) and write me emailses when you are feeling better! or even if you aren't feeling better! i lurve your whinging.
from fangbanger :
No way! How unbelievably unfair is that?! I am so incredibly jealous... I mean he is just so hot. My favourite sexy celebs are Johnny Depp and Zachary Quinto, however recently (well since True Blood began and I read all the True Blood books) Alexander Skarsgard is now above them both. Damn it!!
from kabukicharms :
Yes everyone in marketing is that much of a wanker. Some of us just hide it better.
from sassymcgee :
Sweet. I AM actually starting to get used to it. I know it will take awhile, but I'm not known for my patience lol. The difference in my appearance also helps with the adjustment...stupid vanity.
from fangbanger :
My pleasure! I am very excited for season 3 of True Blood starting tonight - 1 hour 50 minutes and counting!
from kabukicharms :
Dude hells yeah, but only sometimes. I don't want my villain name to be "The Monocle!" unless it was like Dr. Monocle, and the aforementioned monocle shot lasers.
from for--you :
the user and pw are user/pw. Clever right? Um. Yeah. I closed the diary though. The newest is the last entry. And I deleted all the past ones. Which took FOREVER btw. >.< Don't forget to email me. Isss important.
from xxplaydeadxx :
Email me please. [email protected]
from lobo21 :
Ayup, we should all have a love that drops everything for us just once. Anyway, here's hoping we all have one or two fairy-tales coming our way. Take care.
from foreveragain :
MEGA shite. big time fucking bummer. :( thanks.
from aryssa90 :
my sweet darling E. I miss you. I will try to write soon, perhaps tonight and we can share recent events. You are not boring. You are not broken. You are beautiful. <3 xoxo
from aryssa90 :
pps. sorry that posted twice!
from aryssa90 :
being a girl sucks all the time!! and i'm super pissed because when you're on bc it's supposed to be lighter and shorter and when I was on my old one thats the way it was, but on this one it's like i'm fucking dying. And I'm overly emotional and all that icky stuff, blech. Here's to the joys of womanhood! I'm glad you're having fun And if you do move back to Oz I'll just have to hit you up whenever I make my way over there bc that's on my list as well. Hope you're having a great time, sans the perrr.
from aryssa90 :
being a girl sucks all the time!! and i'm super pissed because when you're on bc it's supposed to be lighter and shorter and when I was on my old one thats the way it was, but on this one it's like i'm fucking dying. And I'm overly emotional and all that icky stuff, blech. Here's to the joys of womanhood! I'm glad you're having fun And if you do move back to Oz I'll just have to hit you up whenever I make my way over there bc that's on my list as well. Hope you're having a great time, snas the perrr.
from omfggwtf :
haahaha! oh god. hula hooping, i'd feel so silly doing that. hmm, but it's an idea! thank you :) i need to do something, goddammit!
from sassymcgee :
EXACTLY!!! I have NEVER cheated...I was with these men for a reason and I could never have done that to somebody I let into my life...but I DO like to talk so they PROBABLY knew my feelings. Every moment. Just a guess lol.
from foreveragain :
what? glaciers? where? when? how? you best not be going to iceland without me. not yet!!! (and thanks for the sweet words.)
from warpednormal :
happy belated birthday dear!!
from sassymcgee :
Happy birthday!!!! Enjoy! :D
from sexyatheist :
happy birthday beautiful!
from aryssa90 :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Do not even think about letting gallus ruin your bday extravaganza! In fact don't even think of gallus-just think of the extravaganza!!!!! Go be a hot mess :] <3
from aryssa90 :
you are not going insane! I'm going insane, from my own guilt! I'll have to tell you about it later but, anyone would be effected (affected? lol ) by this! It's a normal response. And I am so so SO proud of you for not e-mailing him! You go girl. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing your lovely type on-screen.
from aryssa90 :
you, my dear, are remarkabibble! If I make it to Copenhagen next year you better get your butt over therr with me so we can tear it up! Can't wait to be a hot mess with you, xoxo
from sexyatheist :
i know this sound hippie of me (i'm from Cali, what can i say!) but you have experienced so much since you left and honestly, i think that is worth so much. you're brilliant and you will succeed in anything you do but ultimately, the experiences you have had makes it all worth it no matter what. at least, i think so.
from winteranfang :
I don't know what he did to you - I don't know that much, I should read further back. But anyway, if you can't have kids because of this... then that's really evil of him. I'm sorry it hurts so much. It must be sad to hold on to that pain. I completely understand! I wish I could give you a diaryland hug: ((HUG)) Feel better... I hope.
from aryssa90 :
def not dried up, you're all sloppy wet...erm, um... :p And no, I'm not saying this because I had sex last week. I'm saying this because of your overall sex kitteny-ness.
from sexyatheist :
a wonderful, sexy, brilliant, totally not at all dried up hag.
from foreveragain :
v i second that down there. v
from aryssa90 :
1)you are not dried up 2) you are not old 3) you are not a hag. I think i rest my case here. xoxo
from aryssa90 :
omg go get it girl! You can't ignore that kind of a feeling. It doesn't happen all the time! At least add him on fb and chat with him or get his number or SOMETHING! And thank you for being proud of me, I was trying to channel you the whole time lol. Now I jsut have to get the balls to continue the convo. :]
from sassymcgee :
Sure! This is how I make macaroons: Ask mom to make them and presto! Macaroons! lol
from xokaythenx :
haha, no it isn't. the creep left me alone after the entry where I pointed out he was a perv. i've noticed based off his comments hes been harassing other people, though. some people just have no lives.
from aryssa90 :
It was a good self-date, Unfortunately, I didn't put out. And Amsterdam, yeeeaah, it'll be pretty awesome :]
from sassymcgee :
Ha!!! You assumed because you know deep down that boys can't be as hilarious as moi. And obviously now I'm French lol.
from sassymcgee :
I dig anybody who digs me...so thanks! Oh and by the way...I'm a chick. A super-duper awesome chickie-poo. lol
from killsoft :
skeet skeet
from sassymcgee :
Thanks and you're welcome. Don't worry...I just work on campus. It's QUITE a few years since I've been in school. lol
from avantbedroc :
jealous reading :) interesting insights & no to milan! if i ever, must remembr
from winteranfang :
I'm really enjoying reading about your time in Europe. What keen thoughts. And travelling is always time well spent, isn't it?
from winteranfang :
Oh! But just because I don't know you doesn't mean I don't read your diary. I read your diary. It is very beautiful. :)
from winteranfang :
Thank you so much for your words. I don't know you, but we seem to identify, and I like it.
from sexyatheist :
any chance for a password my friend? [email protected]. thanks!
from aryssa90 :
Umm we need to write a book together. It would be fabulously hilarious. This entry made me laugh. Out loud. In a very inappropriate time. Buut I didn't care. Let's travel together sometime, I won't be a huge bitch. promises <3
from hotwaterlove :
shiesty, shiesty, sheisty. my conversation with Lunch went like this. me: "What'd you do this weekend?" him: "Looked at houses. Saw one place with 25 acres." "Aren't you too young to live alone by yourself in the woods?" "I won't be living alone. I'm living with a friend." "A friend? Must be a female." Here I'm recalling when he once said he would never live with a male roommate. "Yes." "Wait. Is it...a girlfriend?" "Yes." (silence) (men are fuckers sometimes)
from hotwaterlove :
oh you are most welcome to come to the WTF THIS WHOLE TIME YOU ASSHOLE party! It's still going on and will continue to go on as long as men lie. Your ex sounds like a winner. I hope you went batshit on him when you found out.
from aryssa90 :
yay for posteseses! and I lubz your whinging, don't even worry about it! It def sounds like it could be a great opportunity but, if your instincts tell you something is off then, maybe you should follow them. Don't make any hasty decisions, make your mind up after the interview! Best of luck girly! Sorry youre sick btw *feeds you non chicken noodle soup* :p
from avantbedroc :
and creeper....yeah!
from avantbedroc :
yellow... how unflattering
from xxplaydeadxx :
I'd be afraid of a guy in yellow spandex too...even if he wasn't following me. O_o
from sexyatheist :
thank you for the birthday wishes my friend! and i'm sorry to hear Milan is kind of the suck. damn Italian men!
from foreveragain :
hoorah!!!!
from aryssa90 :
i was so excited to see an entry from you this morning. i havent gotten a chance to read it yet but ive missed your face! well, er, your writing face...yeah..
from sexyatheist :
thank you for the hug and the note. i appreciate all the love i can get. and congrats on finding a great place!
from aryssa90 :
I hope everything goes alright. Have a fun day and remember that you're awesome :) and btw, death by chickens is horrible. I have scritchies all over my arm.
from winteranfang :
Yeah!! Your life is really cool. I would love it if I lived in London and got to see priceless art whenever I felt like it. :)
from warpednormal :
that note made me cry again... in a happy way :) thank you so very much. it means a whole lot to me...its hard not to let silly things like this get to you so badly. but i'm getting there. you, just in case you weren't aware, also deserve the absolute best out of life :) i adore your writing! thank you again..it means so much.
from sexyatheist :
we read you for you. and whatever that entails, there's no judgment here. it's your diary and you can write about whatever you want. and i'm happy to read it!
from winteranfang :
Oh, dear. I know just how you feel about people judging you -- yeah, it's the same for yours truly (although in my case in my earlier name it was for criticism to be precise). But not everybody is judging you, some of us are just admiring your writing and thinking highly of it. Yes sirree! This may not help you out with it, but in my case it tends to be a symptom of writer's block. A nice pic nic usually does wonders, or a day in town. :) Have a good day!
from moonsocket :
it was a hard decission to make, trust me. but it was time. i'm never very far, and you know how to find me now!
from aryssa90 :
Hope you're well :)
from aryssa90 :
Hope you're having a good day and are being productiiiiive!
from aryssa90 :
Woot! yay for finding totally awesome girls to be friends with...it happens so rarely in life! Go move into a great new place make some awesome friends and then be totally awesome! Well, you're already awesome but be even MORE awesome!
from idontpretend :
You could flip a coin! Or throw darts at 'em.
from pettyquarrel :
When writing essays without a particular personal position, I usually took the opinion of 1.) my favorite theorists, 2.) the majority of my research. But you could always flip a coin. Or flip something else. Like a banana? Flip a banana. That would be awesome. Flip a pancake. Burn one side. Then flip the pancake. Yay!
from aryssa90 :
gah! moving can be SO stressful, especially when the people you're dealing with are complete arseholes! But, you will do great because you're awesome and you're a sex kitten. So there are two things working in your favor. :) hugs girl, you'll do fab, as per usual
from moonsocket :
so too much cute! yeah, they have blue eyes for now, but apparently they will change after a few weeks. the mother's eyes are green, so we'll see what happens! keep ya posted. [i owe you emaiils too. they are coming. promise.]
from aryssa90 :
No worries! YAY only 1000 words left, you go girl! :)
from aryssa90 :
you're going to do awesome on your assignment! I'm rooting for you! And isn't it funny how there's someone who is seemingly perfect for you, but the relationship is platonic? It drives me crazy when that happens!
from aryssa90 :
I have sent you your e-mail, I hope it is rewarding :)
from xxplaydeadxx :
Fuck it, I don't have to send it in an email. =P You must have been an asshat and haven't read my diary any. *cough*skank*cough* =P I keed I keed. :) I'm here with Haley on the weekends. Basically, my crazy ass has no job, and that started to put a major strain on our relationship. We were arguing a lot, she was constantly mad at me, so instead of us breaking up, I decided I needed to move out until I get a job. We need to miss each other, and work out all the other problems we've had with each other. I think that was quite mature of us, especially of me. 'Cause it sucks major ASS to be at my mother's. Fucking drunk ass stepdad...ugh. Anyway. Yeah, so there ya go. I've not died, I'm plenty alive. :)<3
from xxplaydeadxx :
I'm not sure that I still have your email address. :(
from aryssa90 :
I shall try to be brave, put on my big girl panties and ask, no, demand that I receive oral sex in exchange for the boxes of macaroni and cheese that have gone uneaten this summer :) And I understand completely, about wanting the stability. But don't worry, you'll figure your life out, you'll settle down and then the players will come back. In fact, they won't even be players. They'll be straight up pros. Just keep your chin up and keep lovin yourself. You're awesome :) hugs
from aryssa90 :
Haha yes, oral sex is definitely weird, although your story contains more awkwardness than mine! It's just hard for me to ask for things sexually sometimes, I know it's basically impossible, but I just want him to know exactly what to do like in the movies dammit! I have two months to work on it anyways. Hope you're feeling better :) And as always, loved your note!
from aryssa90 :
Being sick is icky :( Take some vitamins! Drink orange juice! Leech your blood! But...most importantly, get better :) And don't be grumpy anymore. Sex kittens aren't allowed :p jk...take care girly
from aryssa90 :
Ehhh forget Vix if she asks about Gallus. Tell her you don't know how he's doing and she should ask him herself, or something like that. Don't stress about it girl, it's not worth your time or effort. Youre too much of a linguist-ified sex kitten for that. And yes, that is a word. Tc, huggles.
from idontpretend :
Hiyas. =D You haven't written back. D=
from pettyquarrel :
"what else is the point of a fancy linguistics degree if you can't help out with such crises every once in a while?" -- So true! Much love! What use IS a fancy linguistics degree if you can't occasionally help woebegone strangers parse the etymology of the English word for runny stool!? What use I say!? :) SMILES ALL AROUND. :):):):):)
from moonsocket :
my main email ('[email protected]') is messed up. i sent another from '[email protected]'. i sent them to the address on the main page of yr journal, did i guess wrong?
from xxplaydeadxx :
A lot of your entries make me giggle. "I have a serious hard-on for Mucha" :) You had quite the eventful trip didn't you? *jealous glare* *poke poke poke* :)
from aryssa90 :
YAY! Awesome recap. I'm so jealous! I love traveling, alas, I've only been to parts of Italy and Greece. Hopefully I'll be able to hit up the UK next summer. I love Mucha too! I took an art history class a few years ago and he was one of my favs! Now! Go do your assignment or I'll have to sic a brazilian who lives in Berlin but was visiting Prague on your ear cartilage! Oh, btw, props on the bendy-ness/bicycle fall. You're one bad ass sex kitten ;)
from aryssa90 :
yayayayay! I'm excited you are back!! And super jealous might I add. Amsterdam, you lucky sex kitten you! Glad your trip went well, now get writing missy! I want to here all about the fun stuff and people you did :p
from moonsocket :
attempting to email right..............now!
from idontpretend :
Hey, plenty of women act just like that. Guys have hardly cornered the market in blatant unfaithfulness. I had one ex that was completely unfaithful and had no problems flirting and hooking up practically at random. Another ex literally did hookup at random, she even told me she would cheat on me during a fight. I'm not sure how serious she was, but I have no doubt she was capable of it. If it helps any, I'm single btw. =D *nudgewinkflirt*
from aryssa90 :
lmao! well, sometimes, cake can be better than sex! I love family guy :) Hope youre having a great time!
from aryssa90 :
Have a fab time girly! You deserve it! Find a hot Italian guy and rip his pants off :D
from moonsocket :
have a wonderful trip, darling. photographs! take lots of photographs!!! play safe.
from aryssa90 :
lol, sleep deprivation is a good look for me apparently, i snag all the creepers that way! And good job doing your assignments! woo, you do your work, even in the face of insomnia! annnnnd as much as Id LOVE to do burlesque and all that fun stuff, i do not have the felixbility equivalent to that of a bendy straw and, i need to lose weight for sure. I've gained way too much these last two years. Damn college, as my education expands so does my debt and waist band...obviously there's a direct correlation. don't stress, youre going on vaca and getting a beautiful house and company car and you can possibly imitate a pretzel! stress be gone! you'll be great :)
from moonsocket :
merci beaucoup madame! huggles are much appreciated. :)
from aryssa90 :
you were in the circus? and you can burlesque dance? and do pilates an yoga and yogalates and all those other ates-es? And you like Star Wars and Indian Food and all this other stuff that *I* like as well and is totally awesome? You're like every man's dream basically. You don't get pants off time, you *are* pants off time. Remember that entry you wrote about someone calling you a sex kitten? You must exude some kind of sex-kittennes because it's quite possible you can do things with your body that would make a slinky jealous. Heck, I'm not even a man and I want ya. You had me at burlesque dancing. :P :)
from aryssa90 :
thank you :) pants off time was much much MUCH needed. congrats on you finishing your work. i hope you enjoyed your cake. And by cake i mean pants off time :p...actually I just mean cake.
from aryssa90 :
hey, lol yes, pants of time would be wonderful. I need pants that make my ass look FAB! but, i did mean pants off time. Speaking of pants off time and How I Met Your Mother, the other day, this guy I was talking to told me I was like a female version of Barney Stinson. I am so in love with Neil Patrick Harris I didn't know if I wanted to do myself or the guy who gave me the compliment. I settled for myself because, well, i don't think my Bf would appreciate the other. Get your work done slacker ;)
from idontpretend :
Well, hey, if you need a volunteer to do some experimenting, I do have my passport. =D
from moonsocket :
everything'll work out, you just watch and see! and if that means going back to oz before i get to the uk, guess that means i have to re-route. you know, i bet he already does regret what he did. it seems to me yr already leaps and bounds ahead of where he'll ever be, having moved to a new country and started living yr life for you and all....yr stronger than you know.
from aryssa90 :
im hoping the gains stay! You deserve pants of time more than i do! Go hook a man with your awesome self!
from aryssa90 :
lol@ sexed up nubile self, i like that phrase, I think I may borrow it from time to time :) And yes, apparently new toys need to be purchased shortly since their lives seem to be greatly diminished these days. And I dunno, I've never had a marathon before, and he is older than I am and his sex drive isn't as high (sucks). I feel like such a man complaining about wanting more sex lol. Hope all is well with you :) Oh, an send me some of that curry :p
from moonsocket :
thanks for the heads up on the pretty things! yr right. i do likes. so are you moving to brighton for new job? i have a very dear friend who lives there right now and i'm dying to get there to visit her. it is going to happen within the next year. truth. look out!
from aryssa90 :
Good luck with your move! You've had a pretty stressful few weeks yourself! And yes, taking my pants off does seem to be my answer to everything these days haha. Must be the manifestations of my subconscious or something. I'm thinking of switching solely to dresses. 1-in the event of a real fire, I won't have to deal with taking my pants off before I can run away, I can just do it and 2-in the event of sexy time dresses=easy access. Take care missy :)
from sexyatheist :
you know, i have no idea where she came up with that! i'll have to ask her next time we talk. and luckily it went well. he's usually pretty understanding about dealing with my freak-outs.
from aryssa90 :
I'm glad you enjoyed it. After the panic subsided and I was laying in bed (pantsless) pretending to be asleep, I laughed as well. And I wish there were more sexual crisis' where taking my pants off was involved :)
from idontpretend :
Wow, I'm jealous. What kind of job do you have anyway? I don't remember you telling me.
from loz-er :
Haha Brivegas! And yes, only been to Brisbane for holidays but have heard about skankdom, even though I know nice people from there :). I'm from Sydney, land of the failing public transport system :).
from loz-er :
Oh by the way, the song was We Haven't Turned Around, right? :)
from loz-er :
Hey thanks for the note, are you a fellow Aussie? :P I started reading your diary, and it's beautiful :). Thanks for the song recommendation, I love it too!
from moonsocket :
but i'm in canada!!!!
from moonsocket :
you know, i would like to gather all of my favourites from this place and get together and have a wonderful weekend of talking/dancing/laughing laughing fall apart and just general being awesomeness, and you my dear, would be right up there at the top of my list. xx
from idontpretend :
You go girl! *snap, snap, snap*
from moonsocket :
you know, i already took a snoop through yr past, which is what brought me to the addition of you! it's kind of sad, but i do some of my most open and honest writing when i'm going through trying times (i.e. heartbreak/loveloss) and there always seems to be someone else here that can relate and help, and i in turn end up helping them in some twisted way. it really is cathartic, like you said, and i hope you keep writing as well. i'm into it. as for my graphic, it was drawn my a girl that goes by the name of 'milk' and i found her on myspace. google 'milk myspace' and you should find her. the detail in her work just destroys me. in the best way. found the birds of tokyo, just starting to listen now, i'll let you know what i think. if you haven't already, find local natives. :)
from idontpretend :
Wow, that sucks. What happened? Or if you want, you can email me.
from idontpretend :
Lol, I've never been that good at beating around the bush. Has it's ups and downs. And I've had friends and ex's with medical issues. It's better to just be up front about it imho. And if necessary, I can give you my email address so we don't have to talk about it like this.
from idontpretend :
So what's wrong with you, physically?
from idontpretend :
=]
from idontpretend :
Honestly, arch sensualist is a bit sterile for my tastes. x]
from idontpretend :
Lol, nothing wrong with that. Sensuality is everywhere. I think that people that lack sensuality are missing out on a huge part of life, and a rather pleasant one at that. I love the term sex kitten by the way. It's sweet, sensual, and sooo cute. >.< Don't let people's misconceptions get in the way of what makes life pleasant and livable.
from idontpretend :
Duh, sex kitten does NOT = slut. And it is sad how so many people are really so clueless about sex.
from idontpretend :
Thank you. It's nice to know I don't sound like a complete lunatic. Gawd knows I feel like one sometimes.
from sexyatheist :
i am so glad to hear you are making significant gains my friend, that is huge! i know how tough it can be and that is a true testament to your strength. keep up the awesome work and you will only get stronger and farther along. you rock! oh, and i see the neurologist tomorrow so i'll let you know how it goes.
from sexyatheist :
i'm sorry things are kind of the suck right now. i hope that everything works out and you're able to solve your car/living situation. here's a virtual cuddle and a reminder that you are awesome!
from aryssa90 :
let us know what happens! best of luck to you.
from aryssa90 :
of course you may :) aryssa90 and locked 20. Hope you are well.
from surfking :
i'm not really certain what privelages or hang ups are assigned to being a boy, i know that i feel committed to putting others before me and recently wanting desperately to relate to people despite how distant i feel most of the time. you're right though, we don't know each other and i should have spoken appropriately.
from surfking :
sorry if i made mad or offended you at all, i never had any intentions of doing so...i feel like i've been doing a really bad job of communicating with people in general lately
from sexyatheist :
my guess is that your theory about confidence and your openness about your sexuality is right on.
from surfking :
don't those two options kinda go hand in hand? i mean if someone thinks you're a sex kitten and then you don't deliver sex kitten what are the chances some people will stick around? i'm sorry though, i thought your entry was about the confunsion of why boys treat you this way and i was trying to provide my insight on the situation. i still think you're neat either way.
from surfking :
umm...basically how do you present yourself differently than other girls that you think would put the idea of boys' heads. i don't know how naturally well you notice what makes you attracted to boys, but maybe noticing what they do would be easier for you, just as an example. i don't know, all i can speak from is my experiences and this goes without considering you past which won't do other then put in this sentence considering i don't know you at all among other circumstances...
from surfking :
i think the question that might help provide clarity on this matter is 'what am i doing that other girls don't do?' i mean that in a helpful way to your question, not a judgemental why can't you be like everyone else way...fuck the norm, ya know?
from surfking :
I guess i'm lucky in that aspect then, i have a certain amount of detachment about sex, not saying that i go around assuming other people do too though.
from sexyatheist :
this isn't something that always gets sorted out quickly. it can take a long time and that's okay. i know that most of the time you're okay which is great and it's understandable that sometimes you get fed up. especially considering you're right, you are still dealing with it and he's basically fine. but i promise you, this can be overcome and over time (maybe a bit of time) you will be able to get through this.
from surfking :
if it makes you feel any better about future situation the closest i ever feel to a girl is through conversation and the only reason i kiss girls most the time is so they'll stick around longer...shoot i mean i didn't even get rid of the v-card until the tender age of 25.
from sexyatheist :
honey, it will not be like this forever. i know it feels that way and i know how frustrating this must be for you. but it can and will get better. and there are men out there who will be patient and do care about the person and not just the sex. it might take longer to find them but that's okay because they are worth it. it's not necessarily going to be easy but you will be able to get through this.
from surfking :
yeah third wheel isn't so bad cause people usually are normal then and not in couples mode. besides i'm a permanent third wheel current, i just moved to colorado in with my best friend and his fiance, they're pretty much the only people i know here so far.
from sexyatheist :
thank you so much, your note really meant a lot to me. because you're right, he has made it clear that he won't settle for less. i need to be reminded of that sometimes, so thank you so much. and you do know me! it's amazing how friendships develop through this crazy site. having people like you makes me feel so much less alone in all of this. and you always have such supportive and great advice!
from surfking :
yeah dreams! since you left your note i've noticed how much i write about my dreams...and they've been pressing down on me harder lately too, i think another person is to blame for that though...hah, another 'one' that got away.
from aryssa90 :
it's great that you'd rather be single than change who you are :) You're a very rare woman, it's a wonderful thing to see.
from aryssa90 :
I agree, too many people seem to put faith in the notion of a "One". To me, that was always a depressing notion, out of billions of people, if there's only 1 person out there for you, then the chances of you two meeting are ridiculously small. I believe in "the some" lol, it's just kind of a play on the one...I believe that there are a bunch of different people out there that, under the right circumstances, you could be perfectly happy with. And being independent isn't necessarily bad, but, a lot of men are put off by that, they don't know how to handle a self-sufficient woman. You just have to find someone that isn't afraid of that. And it's been my experience that looking for a relationship rarely works, you just kind of stumble upon them :)
from sexyatheist :
thank you sweetie! i hope so too. like everything else, i'll just have to take it one day at a time. by the way, all of your trips sound so awesome. i can't wait to hear all about them!
from surfking :
hells yeah motivation! i wish i gotten into dance, i'd be a bboy, but lifting has destroyed my flexibility gotta start somewhere though right? salmon is wonderful though.
from aryssa90 :
glad things are working out for you!
from surfking :
i like ghost in the shell a lot! what i like is i haven't paid attention to my profile in like eight years and those three are still among my favorites. it's good to know my 17 year old self had tastes i can identify with.
from aryssa90 :
sounded like an intense trip. stay strong, you deserve happiness :)
from sexyatheist :
i appreciate the concern my friend, but don't worry about me. it's actually a really good thing because i need to learn how to let go and not control things all of the time. i've been a control freak my whole life and it's not a good way to live. unless of course you are talking about something else. but overall, i'm doing a lot better which is good.
from sexyatheist :
you are doing so well! just because you still have an emotional reaction doesn't mean that you aren't doing well. be proud of what you are accomplishing, it's awesome!
from sexyatheist :
ah thanks sweetie! your note actually made me feel a lot better so i really appreciate it. you're right, i can combat this with some positive self talk and just allow time to pass so it heals.
from xxplaydeadxx :
Yeah, well. IIIII loveses you! =D And I'm way cooler than that assfish, so there. =P Sorry it's taken so long to reply to you. Later on I'ma try to reply to your email. I know there was some stuff I wanted to say/ask, but I can't do it right now. So be expecting that soon. =)
from aryssa90 :
hey, glad things are working out for you (with the exception of the last day or so). I think the whole world went to shit the last day or two because my days were utter shit as well. however, i am glad you're moving on with your life and you seem to be doing well!
from karbonphyber :
cuddling with a sick person just feels dirty.
from xxplaydeadxx :
"See, there you go, all I needed was a cute Scottsman to go down on me for a few hours and I am a new woman." Lmao that was so funny! =D Ahh I'm glad you did that. That's awesome. Wow I just sounded like SUCH A CREEP! Oh well. ;) It makes me proud in an odd way. :P OK. So I got confused about you mentioning your father, and about you not telling ass the truth before you had sex with him. And about the whole sex hurting thing or whatever. I get confused easily. =/
from sexyatheist :
yay!
from xxplaydeadxx :
Yeah so that just confused the fuck out of me.
from sexyatheist :
oh honey, i don't care about spelling errors! please, this is just a place for us to converse, it's not a class or a paper to be turned in. i didn't even notice. and yes you are brave. it takes a lot of guts to move somewhere completely new, especially somewhere across the world. just let me compliment your awesomeness! and you're probably right, i will probably find someone else who is open sexually. it's just so hard when you find someone and it all just fits. and then you lose that.
from sexyatheist :
that is true, i do still get the sex. and i read that entry of yours and i can totally understand. i get that way too, though not necessarily when i'm stressed. it would be nice if NG and i lived closer so i could better utilize his presence but oh well. you're also really far away from everything you know and love, you're really brave. i'm having a hard enough time being a 3 hour flight from home.
from aryssa90 :
hey! im glad you're going where you need to be. I moved to iowa a few weeks ago and I still don't know what to do with myself. the surrealism has yet to go away and sometimes I'll hear someone say something and this sense of wonder will come over me, like..."i'm really in iowa". things will go great for you I'm sure and you'll get used to it. Enjoy your freedom.
from xxplaydeadxx :
Dammit, the computer ate the note. >.< anyway. lmao. never told anyone this, but I get the same damn way, so I understand your pain, dear. Just go get a random ass hot dude, and fuck his brains out! hahaha. It won't make you a whore, in my opinion. I mean, it's not like you'll be constantly doing it, and you've only slept with one person, right? Is that what it said? So damn, you get a freebie! ;) Why is it that we start feeling like that? Pissiness and stress cause that to happen to me. >.<
from xxplaydeadxx :
=[
from xxplaydeadxx :
How could he have taken that away from you? =S What is it that your going to see a doctor for? Are you ok? Be ok dammit.
from aryssa18 :
my new diary is aryssa90 :) ive just been too lazy to switch over all of my buddy list. the new one isn't locked.
from xxplaydeadxx :
Hey! I'm so confused. I've been trying to catch up on your diary. The archives link doesn't work right, so I'm just going backwards, which was pretty stupid of me. I may need you to explain some stuff. >.<
from brulelettre :
hey sweetie, how's your friend's baby coming along? And how're you doing love?
from entragian :
Thank you for the advice. He did, in fact, end up cheating on me, and we were apart for a while. Now, (sadly), we live together, and you're right...everyday is a struggle because he can't change. I no longer see him as I used to. He's different. Evil. It's dramatic, but yeah, as sad and heartwrenching as it's going to be, I HAVE TO get the fuck out. I guess it was more-so about winning him back as opposed to actually being with him. It sounds cruel and shallow, but my heart breaks each day I wake up in these walls. He can't make me happier anymore -.-
from brulelettre :
oh dear! haha i left you a password but then I typed in the wrong email address! (actually i just forgot to put the dot before the com.) sorry love! it's your diaryland username and the pw is xoxo
from brulelettre :
hey sweetie, i'm locking my diary. leave me your email and i'll let you in(:
from brulelettre :
Hey love, Clearly, I don't have a good habit of checking my notes regularly. In answer to your question though, yes. I had to say goodbye though because, well, I was doing everything I shouldn't be. And on top of everything else, that wasn't very fair on him. (yeah, it was a him) It'll be a month next week, since saying my goodbyes. PS: i wish I read your note earlier (:
from brulelettre :
hey there love, i finally got round to reading that note you left. It did mean something to me, believe it or not. So thank you(: I think what I felt/hated myself for at that point, wasn't so much about being all anti-relationship but rather, feeling like I'd slept with anything in pants. I don't know what was going on, but i felt so goddamn shitty at the time, that i can't quite believe it now. haha. Thanks for your note though. I love where you're coming from and I totally agree!(: Meanwhile, you take care of yourself too, won't you? ((: xoxo
from neeeeek :
*hugs* Good luck, ma'am
from neeeeek :
Ui, this is indeed heartbreaking. Well, I think the main thing usually is that all get healed in happy, no matter in which way.
from xxplaydeadxx :
*holds you*
from brulelettre :
thank you sweetheart(: i've read yours and i've activated the thingy to receive notes(:
from brulelettre :
hey sweetie, got a post up for you(: xoxo Xenia
from bi-pet :
looks like it's working. apart from the image on the left..
from bi-pet :
i'm actually not sure. i think it just worked... i had it for years though and i got rid of the background pic...
from xxplaydeadxx :
Ok, but which question? Do you want him or have you had him? I get confused easily, sorry. =P
from xxplaydeadxx :
Falling On. I had that on my MySpace. =] I fucking LOVE that song. The last like two weeks I've been listening to it nonstop. :) Ok, I hadn't read that entry. I guess you did the other one before I got on here. I gotta go, got more to say though.
from xxplaydeadxx :
answer to what?!?!?!?!
from bi-pet :
you're letters are beautiful and so full of emotions...
from xxplaydeadxx :
*blushes* Thank you....um. yeah. Heh. The new user/pw is actually user/pw. I don't know why the hell I did that. =) How clever I am. =P YAY!!!! Who is this guy?! Oh man, I hope you guys like...I don't know. I hope you keep having that feeling! Omg that makes me like insanely happy for you!!!Do you have msn or yahoo messenger?! I wanna talk to you! =] ♥
from xxplaydeadxx :
it's locked....................
from xxplaydeadxx :
thank you. ♥
from xxplaydeadxx :
=( I know that feeling. *hugs*
from xxplaydeadxx :
Yeah...I have a feeling nothing good is gonna come from it though...I'm not gonna be able to get in to a hospital. I'm probably 'not sick enough'. It's 'not an emergency'...Eh...I have an email I'ma send to you today. I just had to check that I had the email address right. It's just about what happened a couple weeks ago..And I I'd like to know about you and Gallus.Like your story. I'm a nosy girl. :P Thank you for your support. It means a lot to me. =) *hugs*
from charis-matic :
of course love! Right now, i blog most regularly at http://charisvera.blogspot.com my diaryland entries are rather dead but if you're interested, leave me your email and i'll send you a password. I've had my diaryland account for ages so i can barely understand my writings from way back then. Nonetheless, the more recent entries are readable and don't sound like they're from a dramaqueen with horrid english. Just in case you're interested, i've got a poetry blog where my original songs/poems are up on. http://poetry-shewrote.blogspot.com I'm a singer/songwriter so i usually have my newer pieces up there. Would love to keep in touch and know what you think! xoxo Charis Vera
from charis-matic :
It's strange how i got to your blog; my wee blog-hopping sister told me about it and i popped by for a look-see. Guess i'm not quite alone. It seemed to be just someone else's letters until i got to one that was written on the sixth of this month. I was caught, and i knew i had to drop you a message. haha. It's uncanny, really. You go through so long thinking you must be the only being in the world capable of wanting to hate someone but loving them too much to. And then, you find someone who feels just like that((: I did go through the whole, fucking someone else just because i can though.And it didn't really make me feel any better. So darlin', i'm crossing my fingers for you((:
from xxplaydeadxx :
Eh.............can I have your email addy? I'm not gonna write in that diary here at school anymore. I have to wait till we can get internet at home. Don't worry. I should be ok...
from xxplaydeadxx :
If you don't feel anything with this guy, I don't think you should go. Especially if you don't know him well. (do you?) He could try something and hurt you. So if you decide to, be very careful. If I were you I wouldn't do it...My weekend? Well, instead of typing it twice, if you read that other diary you'll know. *sigh* At the moment I'm wishing I was a midget so I could kick myself in the fucking head. No joke.
from xxplaydeadxx :
I'm very glad I found you. I think I saw your username on the recent public entries thing and got this feeling it was gonna be someone going through the same bullshit as me...Yeah, I have to have all these diaries because I just feel weird writing about ALL of it in one diary. I don't really have much time in here so I gotta go. I won't be back till Monday, so have a good [hopefully bullshit-free]weekend. ♥
from xxplaydeadxx :
Yeah. Sometimes in my other diaries I write letters to certain people, but the one (for--you) is to Haley. (yeah, I'm a gay kid) I used to let her read it then I got sick of letting her know everything that I'm feeling and thinking, so I changed the password. And she just got all frustrated about it. God, I love it. :P My name's Danielle btw. Damn, I forgot the user/pw. It's either fuck/you or fuck/off. One of those. The one for this diary is stay/out. Ugh, and the other one. x-razor-x is just me/me. You can read 'em if you like.Pretty much just stupid bitching and whining 'cause that's just how I am. This is where I get out that shit. And I'll definitely check out that band the first chance I get. Thanks for mentioning it. =)
from xxplaydeadxx :
Holy shit. I have a diary that's like yours. to the person that broke up with me and still has EVERYTHING.... I know how it feels. But fuck the guy. Fuck anyone who is shitty enough to hurt people like this.

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