| from
crimsonknife : |
|
anna darling, i miss you baby. you're not going crazy i promise. we should go shopping and buy ice cream and laugh. we should both smile more. talk soon ok hun and happy new year. love chrissi
|
| from
speak-out : |
|
Thanks for sharing at Speak Out. To keep that thread going, I put your entry under the comments section of the sharing entry. I am adding you to our favorite list. Take good care ~ Inkdragon
|
| from
wanting-kind : |
|
I love you Anna *huggles and snuggles*
|
| from
just-fine : |
|
:( Please be careful Anna, i'm always reading. I'm sorry your hurting so much...love and hugs, Claire xo
|
| from
crimsonknife : |
|
hi babe, hows life? it has been a while since we last spoke. wow nearly 18. i'm going to get so drunk on our birthday. lol. have fun. luv chrissi *hugz*
|
| from
sharpsecret : |
|
howd ur audition go?
|
| from
soulrape : |
|
I've been in the same place as you...cutting over and over again, feeling like you're the biggest failure in the world, so afraid to trust anyone for fear of being hurt in the way no one should be hurt again. The only thing I can tell you is that things will get better. They'll get worse, so much worse, probably, but never give up hope. Never. Things will get better, even when you're in your darkest moments. Feel free to give me a hollar if you want someone to talk to, I tend to listen well. But hang in there...
|
| from
bloodyvisage : |
|
aah. i kept my mom from taking me from the gyno (im not sexually active..yet or prob ever, lol) so there. i wish you luck. heehee
|
| from
sharpsecret : |
|
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i care and lurve u x
|
| from
thiswonthurt : |
|
I'm still here, you aint gettin rid of me that easily.xx
|
| from
trunorth : |
|
*hugs* I love you Anna, I'm sorry about yesterday. I hope your not upset with me. I love you to death! You mean the world to me. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Your stuck with me weather you like it or not. Just because I talk to someone else doesn't mean I like them better than you. I love you, and no one can take your place. Not after all we've been through. I love you!!
|
| from
wanting-kind : |
|
Anna, I'm so sorry you were hurt again, and I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. There's been a lot going on here, my sister is in hospital cos she took an overdose and sliced her arms up, that's why I haven't been around. I'm back though, so anytime you need me, give me a bell.
Love you loads, you're so precious. xoxo
|
| from
lastlullaby : |
|
hiya anna huney, it's chrissi (crimsonknife). I'm sad to see things have gotten worse again, if you need to talk i'm always here. xx
|
| from
thiswonthurt : |
|
He's not worth it. You are so beautiful x
|
| from
thiswonthurt : |
|
*hugs* honey xx get in touch
|
| from
thiswonthurt : |
|
Good for you honey. Stay beautiful xxx
|
| from
sharpsecret : |
|
*hugs* sorry about the other night. we need to alk soon im glad u had a good night angel, and im pretty worried about ur eating, as u no ;) anyway takecare duckyyy love hayley x
|
| from
wanting-kind : |
|
*hugs*
|
| from
thiswonthurt : |
|
We haven't spokn for ages. Get in touch if you need to talk. Claire x (poisonedtear)
|
| from
wanting-kind : |
|
hey, I'm sorry I missed your call last night, please txt me and let me know what's going on. I hope everything is ok with you, I really miss talkin with you Anna. Love Lora xoxo
|
| from
sponge22bob : |
|
Anna...I'm soooo sorry. That man is just awful. You have to speak out about this. You DO NOT-DO NOT! deserve this!!!! I know that you feel you can't tell anyone, I know that you feel nobody will listen, but you will find someone who has the power to put a stop to this and will listen to you. I'm always here for you if you need me! ~Mel
|
| from
born-n-sin : |
|
interesting template
|
| from
wanting-kind : |
|
I hope you're ok hon, I really worry about you. Leave me a note to let me know you're ok, or text me. I love you, Lora xoxox
|
| from
wanting-kind : |
|
*huuuuuuuug* I'm so sorry that these bad things have happened to you, you are such a beautiful, special person and I wish I could take away all the pain. I really do. Just remember that I love you and nothing was ever your fault. You know where I am if you ever need me. *huuugs* Love Lora xoxo
|
| from
sharpsecret : |
|
bless u,it is so hard to know what to say when u are cuting to :| just dont leave her.tell her what u no x
|
| from
indie-snob : |
|
back to tell you that i reviewed the latest Goldfrapp album, "Black Cherry." enjoy!
|
| from
wanting-kind : |
|
you are so very welcome, I've just noticed that I didn't put your e-mail address in the link... do you want it adding? Love you, Lora xoxo
|
| from
wanting-kind : |
|
did you see the live Jessie chat?!?!
|
| from
sunsetreview : |
|
hello, im from sunset review and im supposed to be reviewing your diary, though i cant because you havent linked to us yet! or if you have, i cant find it...so if you could kindly add a link and/or let me know where it's located, i'll get to your review right away. you can email me directly at reasy527@hotmail.com or leave a note for rsm (thats me) here at diaryland. thanks very much!
|
| from
indie-snob : |
|
hello there. i reviewed a Coldplay show I saw last night and thought you may be interested. i have a bunch of other reviews here, too. check it out, thanks!
|
| from
a-rainbow : |
|
Please takea couple of mins to read this, and if possible email it out to
your friends and family, raising awarness and having people understands can
make such a difference to the quality of our lives...
ME Awareness Week 2003
May 12th - May 18th
- sent to you on behalf of all the members of the international online
association 'BRAINFOG!!' -
The following piece of writing was written by Vikki George. She is just 18
years old. Although she has had the symptoms of the illness ME/CFS for much
of her life, she has been officially ill for 9 years. For someone so young,
she has endured so much but somehow she has managed to keep going. She is a
remarkable inspiration to so many of her fellow Brainfoggers from all around
the world who are also living with this isolating and debilitating illness.
She wrote this powerful piece of writing as a way of conveying her life to
those who believe this illness is just about fatigue when it is in fact
about so much more! For many people, this extreme degree of ME is a reality
and not one that we often hear about, as communication at this level can
often be impossible:
Can you imagine?
Can you imagine waking up not able to move, not even a finger,
Wiggle a toe, move an arm or a leg?
Can you imagine laying there not able to move, but vomiting,
Being too scared to breathe, choking till your parents roll you over?
Can you imagine being so ill you can hear the voices of your parents but not
know who they are?
Or hear English but not understand a single word?
Can you imagine going months on end without seeing anyone outside the
family?
Not a single soul, not even a milkman or a passerby.
Can you imagine being in so much pain that you just want to give up?
Feeling like there are thousands of hot pins sticking in you?
Can you imagine going years and years with a continuous migraine,
Not easing for a minute or a second of your life?
Can you imagine going over a year without sitting up or being propped up,
Feeling so dizzy that you can't see straight?
Can you imagine feeling like you are moving, falling over backwards,
And at the same time rotating sideways all the time?
Can you imagine going 6 months without going downstairs in your own house?
Not seeing the living room, kitchen, garage, or garden?
Can you imagine life like this?
I don't need to imagine, after all, I live like this every single day.
Still think ME is just about feeling tired?
by Vikki George - Feb 03
ME Awareness Week - 12th 18th 2003
ME Awareness Week coincides with the birthday of Florence Nightingale, who
after returning from the Crimean war spent a long period of her life
housebound whilst displaying the symptoms of ME. Until now there has been
little acknowledgement of the devastating impact ME can have, despite it
being around since at least the 19th century.
Now for the first time in history, the UK Government officially recognises
the illness. The Chief Medical Officer, Sir Liam Donaldson issued a major
report in January of this year describing ME as 'a disease in the wilderness
'. He also conceded the terrible prejudice, which has afflicted the lives
of the thousands of people who develop the illness each year.
What is ME?
ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) / CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) is an
incurable chronic condition which has many symptoms, commonly including
pain, exhausting fatigue, sore throats and swollen glands, difficulty in
thinking clearly, and an overwhelming malaise which has been described as a
feeling of being "poisoned". It is an extremely debilitating illness, which
leaves many people with ME, bed or house bound for many months and in many
cases for years on end. The causes of the illness remain a mystery despite
years of research which has shown many anomalies in the immune, nervous and
endocrine systems of sufferers. The best available estimate is that it
currently affects 240,000 people in the UK, 40,000 of whom are children.
Because of the mystery surrounding ME, there is widespread ignorance and
misunderstanding about it on the part of the general public and sadly of
many GPs. This increases the difficulties facing sufferers. A recent
report by the Chief Medical Officer (CMO) has done much to validate the
illness, and the Medical Research Council (MRC) have now finalised a
Research Strategy. But this is only a very small drop in the ocean. The
only thing that is really known about it is that it has ruined many
thousands of lives across the globe and will continue to do so for years to
come unless Awareness is heightened and more is done to fund Research so
that a cure can be found.
What is 'The Brainfog Association'?
'The Brainfog Association', www.brainfog.org is an international online
community founded and created two years ago by Ally, an ME sufferer from
Sussex, England, now 27 years old. It was designed specifically to offer
support and help to people worldwide with the illness ME through fun,
friendship and understanding. It is named after one of the common symptoms
of ME - an inability to think clearly. Brainfog currently has over 700
members, who rely heavily on it to provide crucial social contact in the
isolated and lonely world of the chronically ill. Although it is quite
clearly a website for people with ME, there is one obvious difference from
many other online ME support groups; this is clear from the motto of the
website: 'BRAINFOG!! - Keeping the lighter side of ME and life, well and
truly ALIVE!!'
If you would like more information about ME and the website Brainfog, please
e-mail Ally on ally@brainfog.org or visit the 'The Brainfog Association' at
www.brainfog.org
Alternatively, if you feel you are in the position to offer a donation to
'The Brainfog Association' to help fund the ongoing development of the
website / forum, please e-mail the Brainfog Treasurer, Fiona Sanderson at
treasurer@brainfog.org for details.
Useful references
BRAINFOG !!: http://www.brainfog.org/
Action for ME: http://www.afme.org.uk/
The ME Association: http://www.meassociation.org.uk/
25% ME Group: http://www.25megroup.org/
AYME- http://www.ayme.org.uk
CMO Report: http://www.doh.gov.uk/cmo/cfsmereport/index.htm
MRC draft research strategy:
http://www.mrc.ac.uk/index/public-interest/public-press_office/public-press_
releases_2003/public-1_may_2003a.htm
|
| from
drowsiness : |
|
hey anna huney, how are you? started your driving lessons yet? have my first counciling session tuesday, wish me luck. just thought i'd drop by and give you a BIG hug. love ya, Chrissi xx
|
| from
bipolargirl : |
|
hey sweetie hang in there - ending things are just so final and not worth it. really.
|
| from
drymouth : |
|
I hope my email made you realise a lot of people really care about you x
|
| from
bipolargirl : |
|
hey - i'm here for you. i feel for you.. i have been that low. it's so hard to get out of an abusive situation, because you are already so low. i'm definitely not the one to say stop taking anything that may dull the pain, but lay off from any fatal levels. i'd miss your entries.
|
| from
crimsonknife : |
|
Hey Anna, it's Chrissi, I really wanted to text you but I can't afford credit for my phone. Are you ok? I just read your diary and it says you took an overdose. I'm really worried. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you it will be alright. I hope things start getting better for you soon as you really deserve to be happy. love and hugs Chrissi xx
|
| from
just-fine : |
|
(hugs) I'm sorry your feeling so low, wish in could offer more than these words but i am always going to be here for you. Love you xox
|
| from
clauren : |
|
Hey. I just stop by to see your diary. I found it through sponge22bob. I am glad that you are okay after your overdose. I am sorry to hear that you are in such sadness to be doing this. YOu deserve to have happiness in your life and you are so special to a lot of people especially in d-land community....Hang in there.......
|
| from
bipolargirl : |
|
hey there - just sayin hi and giving you big warm hugs.
|
| from
sponge22bob : |
|
Hey,sorry about your hell hole,:(. I put you in my inspiration entry just a few minutes ago,so please see it! And I'm NOT just doing it for visitors,I just want you to see what I said.
|
| from
sharpsecret : |
|
god im worried about u
get in contact sweetie
|
| from
just-fine : |
|
Just thinking of you and wondering if your alright...:'( Love u xo
|
| from
crimsonknife : |
|
hey Anna, are you ok? You never replied to my txt or email and you locked your diary. please get in touch because I'm worried about you. luv chrissi xx
|
| from
sponge22bob : |
|
I know you don't know me very well. You've just been to my diary. And I've been to yours (every time it's updated ^_^),but I wanted to say this for a week or so;I wish you the best luck in life,and becoming an actress. It might not seem like much-but trust me-wanting someone other than me to be an actress (stupid and selfish I know-lol-i'm just like that) is a rare accurance. Actually,it's only happened once. lol,and I feel SO sorry for you I can't even begin to explain it. I know it must be hard to deal with everything you have to go through-like the rape and cutting. I am really surprised that your still around. But hey,I'm surprised I'M still here as well. Thank you so much for putting me on your fave list-it's an honor :)
|
| from
sharpsecret : |
|
i dont no what to say.iv just had enough of everything,its not u.its me,im giving up
|
| from
bipolargirl : |
|
hugs to you
|
| from
bipolargirl : |
|
hey sweetie - you know i was raped too. i knowthat it is the hardest thing to get over. i wish the guy who did it to me was dead. i totally relate to you. i was very self destructive for a while too, but i learned the hard way that if you keep hurting yourself, you keep letting him 'rape' you again and again. if you need some kind of revenge, try pissing in a batch of brownies sending it to him. i did. i also told everyone i know and everyone i could find that know him and told them what happened, and i also make sure to tell everyone that he was so drunk one night that he wet the bed like a fucking baby. please keep in touch if you need me. oh - and cool answers on the survey
|
| from
crimsonknife : |
|
wow..your writting is so powerful..I can totally relate to some of the things you write that I daren't..Your diary made me realise I need to stop lying to myself and pretending I don't care because I do it just hurts more to realise it.
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
that test is a load of bollocks.
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
All is forgiven. xx.
|
| from
gingerxbread : |
|
to make all your entries have this new layout, go to edit/delete entries and edit your first entry. you dont have to do anything to it, just pretend to edit it. andrew has a tutorial on how to do that somewhere in the Help/FAQ sections of diaryland. and as for the older.html page, you have to go to change your template, and go to "click here to change how each entry on your older.html page looks." make it say something like <P>%%date%% - <A HREF="%%page_name%%">%%short_description%%</A></p> that should work. if you need anything else, just write me again. -tracey
|
| from
myxsecret : |
|
hey, my aim is prajna18
|
| from
brainwashed3 : |
|
i have, and i wish that we get to know each other better, you are on my fav. list too, go check out your stuff
|
| from
brainwashed3 : |
|
i dont really understand why you pick me out of all people, but, hey, as soon as i get depressed, more people end up putting me on their buddy list, but, thank you, and i hope that we can make it in life, together forever, and without failure... always yours... kitti
|
| from
oweirdone : |
|
Umm...Your diary is so real in itself, your not afraid to speak your mind, and for that your diary is so unique. I'm sorry for the happenings that have occured in your life, i just hope things get better for you, infact i know they will! Goodluck!
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
I have had to ock my diary, the username is everyone and the password is 147212. Bye. Purplelagoon.
|
| from
sharpsecret : |
|
stay strong just thought id say i miss u,and the worst thing that cud happen is for u to develp eating problems that would destry me and you.rememeber im here and i love u x
|
| from
just-fine : |
|
You seem a beautiful person, i'm sorry those things had to happen to you. Stay strong, x
|
| from
myxsecret : |
|
that girl is pure evil. you did not deserve to be raped. a survivor is never responsible for the actions of some sick rapist. a lot of people have absolutely no idea how to deal with someone who has been raped, so as a defense mechanism they blame the victim to convince themselves that they will never be raped. i would stay far, far away from that girl. hang in there. ~ lindsay
|
| from
portia69 : |
|
I feel sorry 4 u. to live with what happened to u as a child, i no wat abuse is like. hope ur ok. ~hugs~
|
| from
sharpsecret : |
|
thankyou for always being there for me...dont worry about me,please dont start purging anna,please im begging u
|
| from
hiddenapathy : |
|
thankyou for your kind words x feel free to tlk to me whenever you want <3
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
Hi, sorry if I've been a bit distant recently I've just been trying to get my head round some things. If you have hotmail you can message me if you want my address is I_hate_yellow_food@hotmail.com take care. C x
|
| from
janafaerie : |
|
I just read your last entry. I hope you weren't seriously thinking the world would be better without you--it wouldn't. I for one am glad I met you. You're going to be okay. I don't know how I know that, but I do.
I wouldn't take to heart what some asshole called you. That reflects on HIM, not you. And let's face it, most young women are self-conscious about their weight. You probably look a lot better than how you perceive yourself. And you're on your period--gaining a bit of weight then is normal. Once it's over you'll probably lose the bloat that comes with it. The fact that your breasts look bigger is a sure sign that it's period-related.
I doubt that you're ugly. Even if you feel you are, other people probably don't see you that way. It's normal for someone who's been through a lot to have a poor self-image. Once you find ways to work though the things that happened, that will undoubtedly change. You'll realize you have lots of good qualities. For one, I know that you're a caring person, who befriends others. I also know that you're a survivor, which means you have a lot of inner strength. Those are just two things--there are lots more.
I cut really bad last weekend too. On Saturday. So you're not alone.
I hope you feel better soon. Talk to your counselor if you are worried you might do anything else. I'd hate to lose you. You've been a good friend.
xoxoxo,
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
I'm glad you want too remain friends, I'm glad you even see me as a friend. I never meant to hurt you in any way I found your diary through Rich's and I was intrigued and wanted to talk to you. Keep writing and take care
Claire x
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
Anna, Rich says that I've hurt you. I am so sorry, it was never my intention to do so. I wanted to talk to you and something told me that you wouldn't if you knew who I was, don't ask me why because I really don't know. Every word written in that diary is the truth every word I've said to you I've meant I swear this to you. Take care, Claire x
|
| from
myxsecret : |
|
you are definately not over reacting. you have every right to feel the way that you do.- lindsay
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
honey you are not a slut, or whore or anything like that. You were 9 ffs, how could you possibly understannd fully what was happening. He did a terrible thing and I wish could take that away but it's not possible. You must remember that you are the better person, you did nothing wrong, never think otheerwise. You are a beautiful person. Please don't let someone like this get the better of you. You are worth so much more. Take care Sarah x
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
Yeah I did read her diary... I don't give out my age, no offence, I've just found that people stop taking me seriously if they know how old I am. Sorry. Sarah x
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
If you ever need a shoulder to cry on just drop me a line, I'm always here for you. Stay strong, you've come so far. Gorgeous layout by the way! Love and hugs, Sarah x
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
Hey honey, just thought I'd drop you a note to say hi, you doing ok? take care. love, hugs and all that jazz. Sarah x
|
| from
hiddenapathy : |
|
i know what you mean about the abuse thing
|
| from
heartless-j : |
|
hey! I used to write a lot, but now I'm finding it hard to find the time. I'm also 16, just about to take my GCSE's #:0( without doing anywhere near enough revision! Thanx for mentioning me in your diary! Speak to you soon!
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
hi, sorry I haven't been around for a while I've had some thinking to do. When I cried when I read your poem it wasn't 'cause I was upset or offended or annything I was just so touched. It really, you really, have helped me so much and I am so grateful for your support. Lol, I'm not really that good at the whole sentimental crap so I apologise if this is lame, which it probably is. Thank you for being such an amazing person the past is the past, you will learn to live with it and adrian will get his punishment somehow, you've jut got to keep on thinking to the future 'cause honey I promise you things will get better, you deserve it.
Thanks
Sarah x
|
| from
janafaerie : |
|
I'd love to talk to you more in-depth--would you visit my diary and drop me an e-mail from there? It'd be a lot easier to write you an e-mail than leave the really personal stuff on your Notes page. I'm glad to have gotten a reply from you! Take care!
|
| from
phoenixtease : |
|
Thanks for joining the drama queen diaryring :o)
|
| from
heartless-j : |
|
thank you for your note! I've just read your diary and your last few entries really moved me. You have every right to feel the way you feel. You becuase you weren't raped doesn't mean that what happened to you was any less hurtful. Don't believe anyone who says what you're feeling is wrong. I loved the poem you wrote. It was amazing. You should write more poetry, becuase it really was amazing. I hope things get better for you, and I'll keep checking on your diary. Speak to you soon.
|
| from
ravenheart : |
|
Thank you for joining my Nightheart ring, you are welcome!
|
| from
janafaerie : |
|
Hello again,
I just went back and read your diary, instead of just the brief visit I give to people when they first join my rings, and actually I can empathize with you quite a bit. I was sexually abused when I was 9, and by my own grandmother. I am also a cutter, and self mutilate in other ways, and have abusive parents. So you're not alone.
I hope that the counsellr you're seeing helps. I'd pay with my own blood to have a decent one, but that isn't likely. In any case, I hope yours is helping you, if only to give you someone to talk to who won't judge.
And about blaming God--I totally agree with you there. Not so much that I blame a higher power, but I'm not Xtian and I see that people use Him as a way to take responsibility off themselves, condemn others, and commit atrocities against each other. If you aren't buying into that, kudos to you! I've found being Pagan is a source of strength for me, because it celebrates taking control of your own life and not thinking someone is making things happen to you against your will. if I'd realized that when I was nine, I'd more likely have been empowered to do more about it than I did. I only told my mother two years ago (I'm 30). She didn't believe me, by the way.
In any case, I don't mean to come to you, a perfect stranger, and just tell you all this shit. I just want you to know that people hear you and understand. And if you ever want to talk to someone about it, I'm offering.
|
| from
janafaerie : |
|
Hello,
Thank you for joining the Demon Diva diaryring. I appreciate your interest. Thanks for getting the snippet up, too. That's always a plus as well. It's nice to have you as a member. I was really interested in hearing what you have to say. Have fun journalling!
Regards....
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
your poem made me cry. Thank you. Sarah x
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
hey, thanks for your note :). "he" is just someone who I let use me once. "he" isn't important.
Sarah
x
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
It's not your fault, if she was going to do something like this she would have found out about it eventually, or maybe even started something worse. There's no use feeling guily over this, you have your own life to worry about and this isn't your fault.
Stay beautiful, Sarah. x
|
| from
sicktrick : |
|
Anna, I appreciate your need to help me but it's a major artery that has been struck and I'm a million miles of wilderness from help. Attempting to staunch the floor of blood merely postpones the inevitable. And that's not a poem, it's Hurt by NIN.
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
Thank you so much for your previous note :) it really made me feel abit better about myself. My boyfriend and I... well I love him, it really is as simple as that. I know he's done things to hurt me but he is only certain, and in my diary it is only my side of things... and I know for a fact that I've hurt him so many times... I'll be reading. Stay safe, stay beautiful, never give in.
Sarah.x
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
Hey, glad I could make you feel a little better. Thanks for your note, if you ever need to talk just get in contact.
Sarah
xxx
|
| from
purplelagoon : |
|
you're not worthless, you're not a slag, you're not ugly. You should tell anyone who says any different where to go. you seem like an amazing person, you've been through alot from what i've read. I was a self harmer and bulimic, Ok so it never really goes away it will always be there at the back of you're mind, but you can get better. I know what you mean about the pretending to be what you're not stuff... i.e. happy. So not everyones going to understand what you're going through, half the people aren't even going to care. But there will always be that select few who do.
anon
x
|
| from
damik : |
|
Hi, I wanted to welcome you to the selfdestruct diaryring, and thank you for posting the code. From what I've read of your diary, we have a bit in common. I hope to be able to look in on you again from time to time, if you don't mind.
|
| from
shellbug : |
|
Hey I just got done reading your diary and I just wanted to say that I know exactly what you are going through. When I was fourteen my step dad molested me and it went on for months. I used to be a cutter as well. I hope things get better for you.
shelly
|
