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illusionless : |
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I still read your journal. You're one of my favourite reads because I can relate to a lot of what you are going through. You express yourself well something that I have strayed from in my journal. Keep up the updating and take care :)
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depressmarks : |
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That's to bad, fucking people can't accept anyone who is different. What don't we wager war on them first for being normal !!
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janedoe0 : |
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**hugs** Sending you positive vibes!
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janedoe0 : |
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I'm so sorry. :( **HUGS** Maybe there is still hope? I'm rooting for you my friend!
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illusionless : |
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That is so disappointing about England. I'm so sorry. I've been reading and could tell how excited you were. Maybe you could eventually go to England on a vacation sometime? I'm sure things will work out for the best. :)
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janedoe0 : |
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Oh and PS - if you ever need to talk - my IM name in joden underscore n at hotmail dot com - I'm online for most of the day from Mon to Fri and I think that because of the time diff. if would be about the time you can't sleep. :)
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janedoe0 : |
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I'm sorry that you had a panic attack - but - I'm VERY glad that you had your friend to talk to. ***HUGS***
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janedoe0 : |
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You're a great writer!! Wow, what an entry! :)
I hope the things that are bothering you clear up soon and I'm so sorry that you have to deal with other people's emotions too. I guess that can be exhausting.
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janedoe0 : |
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I swear to God there's an Alanis Morisette song on the radio right now. Creepy. lol I hope he emails you, but you'll just have to wait and see. :) And if he doesn't then he wasn't worth it anyway. **hugs**
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janedoe0 : |
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YAY for cute english boys. Whoo-Hoo!! :)
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janedoe0 : |
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I don't have any Amigas. :( *sniffles* No seriously, you are so lucky to have that. And I'm very sorry that you're missing your friends so badly. **hugs** I miss your updates when you dissapear!
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janedoe0 : |
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Ugg. I know what THAT's like! Except I'm always taken - - - it's complicated. And it totally sucks. *sigh*
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janedoe0 : |
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Awww this was a great entry! So glad you have something to be passionate about! (I can't really dance that well. I'm too self soncious!)
Also, thanks for the note - I think this entry deserves to go into the 'draw'.
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janedoe0 : |
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Your music meme is awesome! :) And I'm crossing all my fingers and toes for you! :)
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janedoe0 : |
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Seriously - it's been like 50 days!? Where are you?!
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janedoe0 : |
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Happy new year! Hope you have a fantastic 2008!
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janedoe0 : |
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AWWWWWW! That SUCKS! I hate to be quaint and say it'll all work out, but I'm sure it will. These things always do. And you'll get there, you have the determination to pull it off. I'm sure of it!
Good luck and keep us posted! And also, good luck with that essay! =) p.s Thanks for the crash course of eggnog. lol It sounds gross though. :)
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janedoe0 : |
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YAYAYA! An update! I thought about you yesterday and wondered why I don't see your (user)name in red that often. I hope that letter gets to you soon though! I can imagine how frustrating it must be! Wow, I am SO excited for you! It's like you have this whole new life spread out in front of you. And you know exaclty what you want to do. I envy that! ((HUGS)) And please don't dissapear completely?
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janedoe0 : |
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Sorry your thanksgiving sucked. But that is interesting about the tarot readings. I've never had one done. And I hope that you catch up on your novel!
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janedoe0 : |
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The scrapbooking idea sounds awesome. You're very creative aren't you? Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving after all! =)
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janedoe0 : |
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So glad to see the update! I'd liek to know about this religious thing you are going through? And congrats on making your target in 7 hours!! That's quite an acomplishment and you should be very proud of yourself! =) You really should update more...lol
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janedoe0 : |
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Hey DR, why didn't I see you updated!?!?! (I'm giving myself a mental slap here) And thanks, but it's not belated, it's early. My birthday is on the 12 of Nov. =) I'm sorry you didn't have a good Halloween. That sucks that it just wasn't the same as always for you! And you should update more, I do love reading even if I do read a bit late! =) How are you feeling otherwise? You sound a bit down. You do have my email if you want to talk okay? HUGS
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janedoe0 : |
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I LOVE GOO GOO DOLLS! I don't care how 'old' they are either they still rock. And I love Black Balloon. I just love all their songs. I love the dinner for homeless women idea. I'd love to help out with a community project as well. I've always thought I'd like to volunteer at an animal shelter but I'm too scared that I won't be able to handle it. I'd get so emotional. And I'd like to say something baout your friend. She''l have to learn her lesson on her own. I know how frustrating it can be when you want to help someone and they won't listen. I have lost a few friends that way. But the fact of the matter is, she thinks all of you are wrong and she's right. I hate how some boys have such a hold over their girlfriends. I mean, can't you think for yourself, you know? Grrrr. lol I hope you had a fabulous time with your newly accuired friends! Can't wait to read the entry! HUGS to you too!
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janedoe0 : |
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Did you write that last part for me? You probably didn't but I'd like to tell you that it feels like you did. It's actually hard commenting on an entry like this because there's always the fear that the right words won't come and those that do sound so cliche. No child should grow up like that. But it did happen and I admire that you want to help other people that went through the same thing. My dad physically abused my mother when I was younger so I do know to some extent what it feels like to feel responsible for other people when in reality they can only help themselves. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to laugh and play and run and be free. You shouldn't feel quilty for being happy and I know that's easy to say harder to do. You have to save yourself from your past or it will eat you alive. But I do understand that it's not something that can always be controlled and suppressed. Just feels like it doesn't matter how hard and fast I run that darkness that seems to live inside me just catches up anyway. I feel like a failure and I sometimes just feel empty. I know how it feels to grow up too fast.
You are a great person. You deserve the best. Wow, sorry, I didn't mean for this to turn into a letter. :) HUGS
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janedoe0 : |
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I have a proposition for you. Why don't you come live in South Africa and do my day job and all my other things and I'll take your place? I can't promise that I'll pass all your classes for you but....errrr okay I know the answer. lol Why is is that someone else's life always sound so much more interesting. For me anyway. And I'm not just saying this because of all the naked college boys. Promise. :) That's pretty cool though. :)
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janedoe0 : |
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Jeez woman, I sure wish I could write like you do! I just want to comment on so many things! lol First of all, everyone's talking about halloween and I'm getting jealous. :) You describe the campus so well I can see it in my minds eye! And it looks wonderful!
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janedoe0 : |
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Hi! Thanks for visiting my new blog! :) I wish we celebrated Halloween here. :( And that this month could feel to me like it does you. You make it sound so wonderful and not just the halloween thing but just the whole magical and mysterious air that hangs in the air. *sigh*
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janedoe0 : |
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Ohhhh I'd LOVE that!! It sounds like such a great idea!! I'd definately go and get a hug. I love hugs!! :) And when your book get published I demand the first signed copy! Deal?! :)
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janedoe0 : |
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I'd have loved to hear about it! :) Anyway, I'd love to read anything you write!
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janedoe0 : |
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Hi! I have moved my blog to a new home. I'd LOVE it if you kept reading so please email me and I'll send on the new addy if you want it!
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janedoe0 : |
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YAY! All is right is the world again! :) SO glad you are back and good luck with school and everything!
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janedoe0 : |
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Helloooooooo? :((((( Missing your entries!!!
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janedoe0 : |
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Hey, yes I would very much like the password! My email is joden_n@hotmail.com (((((hugs)))))
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janedoe0 : |
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Where are you?? I miss your entries!!!
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janedoe0 : |
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If your subconscious blocked it all out, there may be a good reason. Maybe you'll remember when you are ready?
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janedoe0 : |
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Thanks for the encouraging words. Although right now I want to stick my head in the sand and hide :)
But as you say, fake it.
Hollywood. Cool. I've never been there. I've never been anywhere for that matter...
South Africa is something else though.
What time is it there? If you get this note? It's 10:30 here now.
Thanks again. And I love reading your diary!
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janedoe0 : |
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WoW. I wish I could write like you. I always have so much to say, yet when I sit in front of my laptop, the words just seem stuck somewhere. As you said to me, your life sounds so farmiliar. except my parents aren't divorced. They just live around each other. The whole stay together for the kids thing, you know?? And I'm sorry you are so unsure about everything in your life. I feel that way too, like I'm just going through the motions waiting for something big to happen.
At least you're trying to do something with your life. I seem to have no ambition. I must have lost it along with my self confidence and trust.
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janedoe0 : |
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Hey there. Thanks for your note, I haven't read through all of your entries yet...but I will:). But thanks for the well wishes. I realy appreciate it!! And I'll keep reading...:)
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flicka : |
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You seem like you'd be a delightful person to know....not too overly cheerful and yet quite charismatic. I never would guess your age based on your writing; you seem intelligent, like you've lived a little.
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flicka : |
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I'm trying to maintain sanity. It's becoming more and more of a strain to do so. Do so--one or two words??
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janedoe0 : |
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I somehow ended up at your diary and I realy enjoyed reading some of the entries!! You have a way with words! :)
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flicka : |
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Europe would be G-R-E-A-T!!!!
Who is this you want to stay with?
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flicka : |
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YOU SAID IT!
And he strung up his own son like a worm on a hook to "trick the devil" doesn't give me any warm tingles either.
On the other hand, because of some extremely negative experiences in my early years, the idea of a "savior" type deity is compelling - especially since said deity is one of forgiveness, and every time I screw up, I feel extremely guilty (again because of a screwed up childhood).
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flicka : |
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Wishing you luck!
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flicka : |
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I feel scared that I'm never going to stop loving or hating the same people. I am afraid that I'll never be loved the way that I need to be.
I miss taking classes and being in the "ivory towers" and trying to paint them red.
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eloira : |
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A bit belated, but welcome to the Non-Specific Diaryring :)
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dakota99 : |
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You're in academia, right? Please reply & tell me about academia, even though I've joined. Thank you.
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readthisline : |
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You're more than welcome sweetheart! Hahha I know exactly what you mean. i'm flattered that people come back to read my posts, but most of the time I can never understand why lol. It's good how you've kept it so annoymous! Sometimes I wish I'd have done that, but I've got 3 people that i actually know who have this journal address.. I definitely don't need anymore. I suppose that I like to be able to post whatever I want without the thought of hurting someone.. not that I'd set out to do that anyway.
I agree! I look back on my posts and think: Wow. I'm so abject! hahha but it's just because this is the only way to release my emotions. My parents are overly anal and I'm not allowed to go out or anything. Hahha it's sad to say; but the internet is my escape. I'm going to try writing happier posts hahha =] well, whatever you name is or who ever you are, I hope you're having a lovely evening. xx
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readthisline : |
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Your diary is amazing. i love the way you set everything out.. it's brilliant. I read a few of yours as well, I hope you don't mind. Hahha that's fine! I'm not as sad as I seem I suppose. I just like writing it down, and then it's let out - it's much easier to write abject emotions than it is happy ones lol. I find that it doesn't have as much of a meaning for me after it's set down in words. That's so sweet of you. Thank you so much for the note. It was really kind. I went and downloaded your "On The Arrow." song. It's beautifully sad. I hope things are getting are getting better for you beautiful.
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pipstitch : |
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Sorry to keep bothering you. You can't delete a ring unless it's empty and the x-stitch one isn't so please ignore my last note. Ignore this one too. :)
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pipstitch : |
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I just found a cross stitch ring on Diaryland (I never saw it before) so I'm deleting the one I started. If you want to join this other one, go to my rings page and click the link to join.
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tinyhiney : |
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Thanks for joining the cross stitch ring!
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flicka : |
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Yeah, my ambition is to find love, push it away, and look for it all over again....and become a beautician.
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missfickles : |
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Thanks for joining the fuck-fashion ring! :)
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coldandgray : |
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Welcome to the clouds ring. AFI are from the odd small town I grew up in; our only claim to fame other than Jim Jones.
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straysparrow : |
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Hey there. Welcome to the Bilingual Diaryring. I speak English and French... you? Oh, and nice last entry. I liked a lot of what you said. Cheers. Sparrow.
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