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You don't need to make excuses for other people's behaviour. Trust yourself on this one. You deserve a relationship that adds to your life and a partner who values your empathy.

from swordfern :

In regards to your sister, sometimes other people's successes highlights our own failures. It's likely that you're stirring something up for her. Family is tricky, and I hope that you don't take it personally or feel that you need to hide your achievements. It's great to hear about your positive momentum lately; it must be so exciting to be embracing change!!

from musikoid :

You must have just updated because it's still November 1st in North Idaho. That must have sucked when the guy simply stopped talking. Sorta cowardly, if you ask me. I'm glad you can see rationally that he's not the one for you. You seem like good people, and you can read me if you want.

from valasaurus :

Just wanted to say I can relate to what you're going through right now with the break up. I broke off a 7 year relationship that should have ended 1 or 2 years into it tbh. You deserve happiness and someone who makes you feel wonderful. Time will heal.

from swordfern :

Have you read "Attached"? Or studied attachment theory? It sounds like his attachment style is 'avoidant' which is highly triggering to your 'anxious' attachment style. I don't expect there to be any real solutions to your problem in this book/theory, rather it may cultivate an understanding of what is happening so that you can start to look at past relationship patterns and understand why some relationships felt better than others. https://markmanson.net/attachment-theory

from swordfern :

May 6 - All of this is so familiar. It's a hard place to be, torn in varying directions and trying to sort it all out. The murkiness of it all. The loneliness. Sending love.

from swordfern :

It sounds like you really care for him and wish him to be able to fully experience love. This is a beautiful wish. And the fact that you can see the reasons that he acts out is admirable. I know about being in a controlling relationship, and I know how hard that can be when you see the other person's inner struggle. I look forward to reading more of your entries.

from swordfern :

29-Apr: Why do you wish to 'improve' your boyfriend and his behaviours? A lot of your entry resonates with me: the process that I've been going through and realize will never end.

from catsoul :

11.17.19. So very sad to read about your losses. Over time one of my mantras I say a lot, that has helped me is: I am at peace within myself. I love that she got to be there for you for 18 years, that is huge. It will be alright because she is still there in your heart and soul. Peace. =^..^=

from catsoul :

8.11.19. Your furbaby sounds like he or she has had a super quality of life up to this point. It is so sad when our furbabies health starts to decline. The not eating is the normal process for an aging body to go. It is their way of starting to tell us. Next will be can't walk or drink at all. I am so sorry. I know it is hard, there are no words to make it any easier. Peace to you both. =^..^=

from jimbostaxi :

I see you are a ”Fight Club” fan as well as a Pauly Shore fan because of the single serving friend reference. I was going to drop some ”Encino Man” quotes but, I thought that would be kind of crusty. (Rad mobile anyone?) I plead guilty to the crime of being a cab driver. Each person that comes in my taxi has their own story and if I’m lucky sometimes they share things about what's going on in their world. Hope your hand is better that sounded scary!

from catsoul :

5.31.19 howdy do. I used to drink diet coke, so I clicked on your diaryland name. Then I went, wow, another Wisconsite Chick!! Peace. =^..^=

from jimbostaxi :

Happy bday!!!🍺🍕🌮🍷

from lobo21 :

hey there. Hope you find your own space and something to occupy all the time you have right now. Some times wish I had more of it myself, both time and space, but I would end up wondering what to do with myself if I did. Take care.

from lobo21 :

Nice to have choices opening up for you now, after so much uncertainty. I hope your moves goes smoothly and life improves on all levels. Take care,

from lobo21 :

hey, wish you had an ear to bend and keep the feeling of being alone/abandoned at arms length, or at the very least have someone to vent on. I am hoping things get more settled and you have a place to go soon. Take care.

from lobo21 :

Upon further thinking, I also know the weight of not living up to parents' expectations. It can be hard and I applaud you in carrying on and actually seeking approval when many of us would fold up our tents and turn away. I long for at least acceptance from my parents if not their full approval. I am hoping, like me, you will find yourself in a place where that comes to pass. Still never got to full approval, but I've accepted that. :), now I just hope I don't pass heavy expectations on to my own children. Take care.

from lobo21 :

Hey there. Yep, you never know when someone somewhere will come around and notice what you put out there. Thanks so much for your note. Much in this life does suck, living up to the past when the present is as uncertain as the future, or having to let someone down who had hopes in you. Thanks for your encouragement. I appreciate it. Good luck on your move. I hope it turns out way better than you are anticipating and opens up incredible doors for your future. Be blessed.

from movieboy :

Hey, Chrissy. That was very unexpected, but of course it�s nice to hear from you. So I�m still around, for better or worse. Disturbingly little has been happening. I do intend to resume here at some point, but for now I can�t seem to do anything productive. How are you? I hope you�re doing a lot better than your last few entries suggest.

from lobo21 :

Stumbled in and wandered around a bit, hope you don't mind. Sorry to hear of the unsettledness in your life. I hope it gets less stressful soon. With your permission, I would like to wander back this way again. Take care.

from patientx :

can i have your new diary url please?

from darkbeans :

you've been sick for a long time now. i hope staying home and the drugs helps. feel better soon.

from poetsthought :

haha no kidding! But then again... what cat DOESN'T think she rules the house? :p

from poetsthought :

SHE IS ADORABLE!!! awwwwww!!!

from poetsthought :

FEEL BETTER!!!!!!!!!! -a poet...

from poetsthought :

i hope that you achieve your mission! sounds like something I should think about, too... hmm... -a poet...

from poetsthought :

hmmm... maybe try and let her out of the room/whatever and if possible? it sounds like Kitty is feeling trapped & wants out and about and what's to be able to romp outside! that's kinda how my cat acts when she doesn't get her way like me waking up and letting her out of my room when I'm sleeping! how this helps! -a poet...

from omnipre5ence :

School is such a drag. :(

from poetsthought :

hey moving on & healing all come with tears-- so don't feel bad for crying & gettin upset. its just the way the healing process goes! *hugz*

from poetsthought :

dreams & goals are still something! keep on keepin on!

from dlandsucks :

because i wanted to say hey.

from dlandsucks :

whats your aim name?

from areistia :

Just wanted to say hi :) hope you had a great day and that work wasn't too hard! I'm so proud of you for making this step in your life and I know that things are only going to get better and better!! :)

from shadow-box :

P.S. It's only the 4th day of summer, it should *not* be this humid already. Blah..... It's not Summer yet, hun. Depending on astrology, the Solstice will be sometime between the 20th and 22nd. It's warm, yes, but not quite Summer yet. Anywho, I'm back from Belsummer. I had a wonderful time, met some wonderful people, and had some fantastic sex! Next year will be wonderful too :)

from shadow-box :

I read! I don't always comment. And why do hot boys need to be hanging off of cheerleaders for you to think they're hot? Are they ugly without the Brittney clones? I love you! :)

from shadow-box :

this is starting to sound like scott, and I really wanted to be wreong. I don't want you to go through the same bullshit I went through with him. where day by day you realise you're not important anymore, where you're not the main focus, that no matter how attractive you make yourself or how many things you offer, his priorities begin to slide away from you. if you're not the most important thing, you'll never see him. :(

from invisibledon :

Happy Birthday sorry I'm late :(, but better late than never

from shadow-box :

Maybe only guys get like this. We're sleeping in a bed we don't know, in a room we're not familiar with and it's just hard sometimes, especially if youre sleeping with the person who owns the bed. There have been times I had to sleep on their couch or floor, cause it just didn't work. One of the guys I really liked, but it just wasn't comfortable. Us guys have our beds, with our dents, and our blankets with our smells in them. But sleeping in your bed is like a whole new territory, it's not an easy thing to just get used to. Have you ever slept in someone else's bed? Did you feel uncomfortable? Did you think about moving to another spot or sleeping on the floor? If you were a guy, you'd be having those thoughts. It's not a big deal for him, he left a note. Maybe if you ask him directly if he sometimes feels uncomfortable sleeping on your bed, maybe that'll help alleviate the worry that it's not about you. Cause I doubt that it is. He left a note, that's sweet, he was considering your reaction to him not being there. You're trying to push emotions into the gap, well why not ask him first before you tell him how he feels :P

from shadow-box :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! HAPPA HAPPA BITHDAY BABY! TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY, DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DO, A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YA!!!! HAPPIUS BITHDAIUS!!!! YOU ARE SPECIAL AND BEAUTIFUL AND HOT AND SMART AND I LOVE YOU BILLY BUNCHES!!!! Chrissy really is like the hottest chick ever, who should be respected and treated well and be given un-holey pants with corporate bitch belts, and yeah. I luve you!!!! -Mer Mer

from e-nymph :

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. you ad your family will be in my thoughts.

from tom-seb-jak :

STAT!

from shadow-box :

Wow is my word today. I wrote an entry a lil while ago. When you read it, please think about your response. If you like it, or hate it, or want to slam it, just tell me why. There's no such thing as truth, only honesty. So be honest.

from areistia :

That's the thing.. you can't be the perfect girlfriend.. because no one is perfect.. making their life yours isn't being a good girlfriend.. because its not fair to you.. a relationship is 50/50 and you can't forfeit your own ideas just because you have a guy in your life... plus if you give becca shit about rushing into things with bob, then you have to yell at yourself because giving someone that much power over your life.. allowing their choices to overtake your wants.. is it any better than saying that she may want to marry him? I just don't want to see your friendship with her weaken because of your difference of opinions on this matter... plus her saying she loves bob and wants to marry him and actually doing it are two different things. just relax, focus your energies on you and let her do her own thing... you dont have to agree with it because its not your life.. you live the way you want and let her do the same. Don't worry about school.. you'll get through it.. sure its taking a little longer than planned, but when you finish, you'll be that much prouder of yourself. maybe next semester it'll be time to get in good with the financial aid people and get them on your side to help you look for scholarships! Free schooling is always the best kind. i love you.. I just dont want to see you worry so much about her and her relationships.. melinda

from shadow-box :

Remember your fun with the lottery tickets when you worked at that gas shop? It was sorta like that. I regret it, it was stupid, a moment of weakness I hope I never feel again. But I'm owning up to it, taking responsibility for it, and paying off my debt. That's all that matters now. :)

from shadow-box :

Thanks for the birthday wishes:) *hugs* See you in a few days :)

from shadow-box :

Lukey must be something special for you to be getting all High School over him. So you want to lift the Tarot ban yet?

from shadow-box :

I've been reading your diary for a while now, so I wanted to say "Hello".... Sound familiar? You have two differant guys who signed that in your gbook, for which I cannot sign, and you still don't believe me. *mutters under breath* Anyways, they make fluffy down coats that are not unlike down comforters. Though you probably shouldn't wear one if it makes you sleepy.

from hungerwhore :

What a wonderful, insightful entry.

from hungerwhore :

Workouts are wonderful. And your doing so well. Luck with the boy. Stay strong, and lots of love.

from hungerwhore :

Good luck, darlin.

from empty-kral :

ur diarys locked!? let me know whats happening babes. xx

from ghostlight :

locked :-(

from areistia :

its locked? email me a password please. lub you too. xoxo Melinda

from areistia :

hey girl.. i tried to leave a note in your guestbook, but it was down.. just wanted to say that I love that shirt.. its too cute and you look great in it. Glad that things are going well for you... as for your reneck boy.. it was hard to get a good sense of what he looked like with it being a profile shot and all, but he looked cute and was wearing a plaid shirt, which you know im a big fan of. Hope your week goes well.. and next time kick those bitches off the machine.... be like "um.. my fine ass needs to use it, go talk your ass off somewhere else... " hahaha love you bunches! Melinda

from hungerwhore :

good luck

from shadow-box :

hun, they're twins! they are going to share the same hotness :P

from shadow-box :

I need to be honest with my friends, without them seeing that honesty as a personal attack. True love hurts sometimes, it must hurt. Your idea of friendship is fine, it's safe, comfortable, non-confrontational. I need more than that. This probably won't make sense to you, but even when I scream at you, get angry, and hate you....I'm still your friend. I need friends who will rant, scream, shout at me, and mean it....but when the emotion dies away, they still love me. Many aren't going to understand this change. God is out, We are in. The new religion is People, individuals with ideas. Our love is what we believe in. Love Yourself, and the rest of the world will do the same. I'm right, I'm wrong, whatever you believe me to be. Just love me, that's all I ask.

from shadow-box :

WOW, YOU LOOK SO DAMN HOT!!!! WOOO HOOO! hehe, so you are even hotter, what will you do with your bodascious hips? Again I must note the sillyness of that camera. You're wearing the same top in both photos, but on the left it looks light green, on the right it looks dark blue. Lemme guess, the top is really a shade of red, isn't it?! Anyways, I'll stop being a dork. You are beautiful. And the hair will be nicer once it grows out a lil more. Have a good day! I had a dream about Charlie last night :)

from ghostlight :

photo please of the tongue!

from coreypd :

wow that layout is really something, well done

from thatmarygirl :

sorry. i meant, whoa. i just spent almost an hour reading your diary. and "dietcokegirl" is the best username. ever. :)

from thatmarygirl :

whoa.

from beagle47 :

thank you, dcg, so much. peace. (and i really mean that).

from fiorile :

Hey. My name is Meggin, and I love your site. Well, I have been designing this Coca Cola layout and I thought maybe you would be interested in it what with your screen name. It's totally free, and I could send you the html. Please email me.

from autumnrayn13 :

I'm tired, too, Hon.

from ghostlight :

Don't be scared of the gym! You'll fit right in! ALL kinds of people at the gym! Something someone said about the gym once - everyone is too busy looking at themselves to be looking at you. If anything, they'll be encouraging - everyone's there to improve, right? I love going to the gym. Get a fitness trainer to show you around. They show you how to use the equpiment, how to exercise properly, how to check your heart rate - WHATEVER. Have a blast!

from pringipisa :

I've been reading your diary for a while now and have seen the many layout changes. Although i agree change is good, I don't like this current one. There is no option to go back and read previous entries by date/title.

from empty-kral :

u don't know how much I could relate to that entry. Maybe not the pregnancy part but the first part about having a secret that eats u up. You just wrote exactly how I feel, maybe this will explain.... the-past.diaryland.com. Hope ur ok, it must have been a terrible experience. I just wanted to say thankyou for putting into words what I felt, I can't believe how spot on your got it - maybe I'm not alone afterall. xxemptyxx

from movieboy :

E-mail me at [email protected]

from rachimal :

That was a beautiful entry. Do you feel better having gotten this all off your chest? I remember I also thought that I was pregnant a few months ago. 18 years old, first year of college, and the guy was my first ta boot. Well I told him about the possibilities, and he told me that he wanted an abortion, and that he wouldn't stand by me if I was pregnant. Everybody thought this guy was a mega sweetheart, sweet, innocent, naive... we all learned a lesson from that. I hope things get better for you my dear.

from movieboy :

hehe, yes, my consant habit of mentioning The David Letterman Show is just one of the many, many, many obsessive references to American Psycho from my diary...Congratulations on being the first, and probably only person to notice! Also, on a deeper note, it goes to prove that I don't even have to create/imagine the stupidity of the common person (aka the audience applauding at things that aren't jokes etc) - it's right in front of me...If that makes any sense...Does it??

from indie-snob :

hello. i just posted a review for a show with the Starlight Mints, Ben Kweller, the Flaming Lips and the Violent Femmes. Check it out, i have a bunch of other reviews, too. thanks!

from quickening :

it is the year you where born i think.

from insearching :

Thanks for the message. It's a silent lull at the moment as my girlfriend plays the mediator. I don't know if that future bit is now applicable. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your Easter with your family, even if there is a long history between some members.

from insearching :

I feel silly now that I've discovered you are able to receive notes (and have been for a while!). Doh! For the record, I'm sure those reading your bloggs identify and sympathise, and (more importantly) celebrate with you as if they were right there with you. You�re not alone. Warmest Regards.

from brandone :

One small note, my brother used to say the "I'm closing my eyes so you cant see me thing, cept he used to believe it worked. Aren't kids great? BraNdoNe

from brandone :

Hi, I'd just like to say I know how you feel about wanting someone just for the sake of wanting someone. Also, wanting someone to value YOU for YOU. It really is all about the little things. I think I'll go and read some more of your diaries. BraNdoNe

from almostnormal :

There are other people like that. Kind. Loving. Ones who smile when they see kids and puppies, and life all around them. Never lose hope because it really always is darkest before the dawn. No matter how cliche that is...it's still true. Thank you for maintaining a diary that is entertaining as well as thought-provoking. It's a hard combination to master, but you seem to have done it with ease.

from guavagrrrl :

hmm. what to say. i could say, like everyone else in the world, that i like the way you write, and that you have a personal style, and even though i've only read one entry, you still kind of sound like a person that i want to know...but everyone says that, so i'll say... i'm assuming that you have a left pinky finger and a bellybutton. seeing as how i also have these wonderful body parts, i think you should go read my diary and then leave me a clever note too, even if you don't thnk it's clever. there really isn't a way to just introduce yourself to someone without coming off as mildly self-centered and awkward, but i can at least give things an original spin. smile because somewhere out there, someone is writing a song about you.

from timdangerous :

you can close your eyes if u want, but i still see you.
~t

from invisibledon :

Happy Valentines Day

from thisisjohn :

you should definitely send me a dollar. =)

from calendonia :

hey there... i thought that 100 things list was pretty cool so i did one too. :)

from emoshelley :

its so amazing how much you remind me of myself. <3,shelley ps. i think you're beautiful.

from thisisjohn :

john likes dietcoke too. dietcokegirl is neat. not many girls can kick my arse.

from vixenated :

Well I am so glad that I made your day and helped in any way possible, I re-read what I wrote to you, and it doesn't sound good at all. lol wel i don't reckon, so what you wrote to me, makes me feel special that it touched you so much. thanks heaps!

from vixenated :

Well I happened to stumble across your site because I thought your banner was really cool tehe, and it is, as is your diary. But I'm most sorry to hear that you're going through an extremely hard time at the moment. Perhaps harder than the past....I'm not entirely sure, but I'm happy to be an ear to listen if you ever need one. Although I'm sure you've got plenty of others that are willing and a little more familiar. Hopefully these tough times, will get evened out in your life and there will be many happy and good ones to come. Take care - Lil

from absolutgal82 :

To: You From: AbSoLuTGaL82.. the girl who knows just how you feel. I find myself int he same position as you, except I have been here for a long time. We have a lot in common.. and while I would never wish the way my life is or the way I feel on anyone, I feel a little better knowing I am not all by myself. I wish I had advice for you, I wish I could say I have been there and here is what you need to do to get out of this, but I don't. Lots of people, however, tell me things won't be like this forever.. I hope they are right, for both of our sakes.

from invisibledon :

nice change to the diary I still liked the unmade bed that was cool

from danaelayne :

I'm seriously lovin' your diary. :) I'll be back for more.

from emoshelley :

i just wanted to tell you that your entry is amazing. i love it. <3 shelley.[sorry, i'm all about the notes.]

from emoshelley :

i <3 you

from emoshelley :

i was in the same paragraph as bobby! wow.

from invisibledon :

Happy Holidays

from invisibledon :

whats up?

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