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messages to donnaisblue:
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from gods :
apologies for inconveniencing you. no more comments henceforth, look around you and get it from your life. that's the only comment there actually is, can be, and ever will be.
from gods :
who gives a shit about social creatures? you think earth does? why oh why if you see there's [might i add, ridiculous] influence upon your self, YOU act on it? for you, this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=-CaIqW1WfPI
from gods :
harmony/disharmony; love/hate; life/death - all concept inbred into your mind by conditioning (upbringing); if you were raised by wolves, you think you'd spend your time agreeing and disagreeing or just howling about? since you did not say hello when you've been in california, z0tl is entitled to say all day long that you've never been. whether you agree or disagree is beside the .
from z0tl :
so how does this freaked out state feel in your body? if it was truly connected to mother earth as your poetry suggests, you would NEVER EVER get freaked out. NEVAH EVAH, i should say. hope life's good and one day i will stop frettin' that you will never have what it takes to make it to the promised land of deserts and same malls as everywhere else, ie cali.
from gods :
oh yeh, we're all frettin' alright...
from dcalienz :
Pretty words.
from cosmicgiggle :
i meant, sounds.. i.e. the way somebody pronounces something.. could be in a song. lis, sleepy
from cosmicgiggle :
i wanted to tell you that i'm not unguilty of the habit of consciously choosing my vocal intonations based on new and exciting songs that i hear. immitation is flattering. it begs you to be Her family, and can't you see the love... maybe she died inside when she met you because you were so bright, or something, Who knows....... i'm really tired therefore touched. laters.
from cosmicgiggle :
quite the thought/energy in that last one...... a succubus in your midst?
from elf-arrow :
Thank you, I feel really really yucky these days :( I know youthfulness is usually a good thing, but in my case it manifests in such ugly ways. I love reading your diary!
from elf-arrow :
What a literary goddess I've found in you, lovely words. Just lovely.
from cosmicgiggle :
i really like the way you spelled "massage" "message.." i don't mean to point it out, but it's lovely... i mean i don't want to publicly say it, but some people can transmit messages into muscles somehow.. I was just insisting it was possible today... and in the bland world I know it isn't, but then why has it happened?
from cosmicgiggle :
your latest entry is excellently relateable, at least from an insane perspective. but don't go insane with fear. last night, i discovered a good back massage can be the catalyst for amazingly blissful dreams.
from cosmicgiggle :
hey...I am considering becoming your groupie. because i like what you write, i think i will like what you like to read. so it'll be like you're looking out a window and suddenly there's your mom over your shoulder. don't worry im not your mom.
from z0tl :
donna baby, i know you try hard ovah there at beloit and i know you can stick your fist up stefan's ass and make him puke his guts thru his loud mouth any day you wanna, but you're STILL only up for adoption.
from cdghost :
i will return to read more
from sporktongue :
Last night was wonderful. Especially the candles. Did you sleep well?
from pondlife :
Lovely.
from saintmiracle :
Hello, I couldn't read your latest entry with exception to the first few words. I used to hold a diary here but let it go for search of a less introspective life. I found it, and now I'm back. It would be wonderful if that was proof of something. Anyway, I've felt compelled to write again, and so I am, yet hopefully more honestly and forwardly. My old avatar was "Activate". I hope all is well; hopefully I'll have the energy soon to add a notes section so you can write back. By the way, hello Zizi, I'm glad you're thoughts are open to the public again.
from z0tl :
gosh, i barely have enough energy to eat rice from my food bowl every day and you want me to figure out how to post anonymously at LJ? you know what you should do, just take my notes and post 'em to yourself there, then i'll read 'em and be like, wow, this guy is pretty qool, who's this guy talkin' up a storm and sweeping this bluedonna off her feet like he be stefan, her undead friend from a previous life that happened like what, one fool year ago? oh, your wiccan wayz are so enticing!
from z0tl :
like all the frikkin time liek
from z0tl :
well, luv, even tho i was in the deep abysses, dare i say deep downerer than anything your otherwise experienced old soul may have experienced along the endless trials of tribulations of endless iterations thru endless fukked up planes of eggsistence, i did occasionally check out the livejournal college adventures of my favorite grrl up for adoption. you're still amazing! hug:z!
from autumnal :
how have you been???? im in rome!!!!! well talk soon...
from zizi :
thank you so much. what an unbelieveably kind and remarkable thing to say. i'm honored.
from zizi :
it's futile, i know. if it were something hideous i could be repelled, maybe. but even then i would still feel compassion, desire, tenderness. there is no avoiding or overcoming love. this is what i am learning.
from pondlife :
Karuna, compassion. Our capacity for this can be amazing once we've shed the insulating layers of protection we tend to wrap ourselves tightly in. Congratulations, I hope you have many more lovely experiences.
from raven72d :
I do wonder how you've been and what you've been doing...
from sporktongue :
Update soon!
from candoor :
you still do amazing things with words :)
from activate :
i read this latest entry of yours, and it made me feel strongly. that is all i can really say.
from activate :
i've been in east lansing for the past few years doing the college thing. i'm originally from an incredibly, boringly typical suburb about an hour east of hear. and you?
from activate :
Hello, my apologies for not responding more quickly. I have a friend or two who live just north of the city, and every now and then I make my way over from the mitten to visit them. I love being surrounded by the innumerable amount of tall buildings only a city like yours can offer. I sort of compare it to being wrapped up in a blanket. How far away from downtown are you?
from watercolored :
I just want to come clean, you know? Unfortunately this is an all-ages show. I'll shed my skin elsewhere more than likely. Send you a password?
from timeforanew :
That last entry was amazing, and the title fit it perfectly. You never cease to leave me staring wide-eyed and nodding at your powerful words...
from dcalienz :
You are thought provoking whether or not it is intentional. The way you express things sends my thoughts in many directions. Did I just repeat myself. hugs
from halfdevoured :
Merry Christmas! I just read your LiveJournal...take it easy on those candy canes or else you will get a tummy ache! That was a hilarious entry though...loved how your brother hung up the canes. And your entry here--genesis--is amazing. You make the Internet better. Now go open presents!
from diarygoddess :
I actually had another thought: yourprofile could match the styleof your diary if you wish. Perhaps it could be written as if it were one of your diary entries, which would be wonderful, because you are so lyrical and poetic. The imagery you create and the depth of your thoughts and emotions always move and amaze me. But again, it is your profile, so do as you wish. Also, I'm creating more Goddess Galleries this weekend. If you don't mind sending photos along, I'd like to create a gallery for you like the ones for Kat, Brandi and Rena that are currently up. (Use the ascend/descend links to see all of the photos in each of their galleries.) And I've seen your paintingsin your diary before--perhaps we could create apage on the DiaryGoddess site foryour artwork and you could tell us about each piece. That would be a wonderful contribution, if you're interested in doing that. Thanks again!
from diarygoddess :
Thanks for getting back to me so fast! We need an introduction to your profile, like the ones found here: http://ambrosia1.diaryland.com/goddesses.html and for the actual profile, we just need more information on the Fallen Angel persona that you've adopted and/or yourself. Take a look at the other Goddess profiles and see what they've done,but don't feel obligated to follow any formats that they have created. Do your own thing--just have fun with your profile and, if possible, create a sort of background/mythology with your profile to tie in with the overall DiaryGoddess theme. It would be great to know why you are a Fallen Angel, where you come from, what your abilities/powers are, what yourpurpose is in this world, what motivates you, etc. Thanks! If you have any questions, just email me.
from diarygoddess :
If possible, May we get the rest of your Fallen Angel profile from you before January 9th? The site will finally (yes, finally!) debut on that date--we figured the New Year would be the best for officially launching this project. Anyway, we just need your Sun Goddess profile (along with a few profiles from other Goddesses) so that we have all of our Goddesses (or Fallen Angels, in yur case)in place in time for the debut. Any other contributions you want to make will be most welcome, if you have the time to make one, but your profile is what we need most. Thanks! I hope you are doing well.
from ambrosia1 :
I chose to use the term "immeasurable power" in place of "omnipotent" because immeasurable power to a mortal could still be finite to the beings that actually possess it. Anyway, I wouldn't worry over the "worship" thing--more than anything, the Goddess theme is just supposed to be fun and was just an easy way to link all of the various diarists involved in this project. It is not at all about ego, but instead, as I hope will be obvious when this project gets rolling, but instead a celebration of the qualities that make us all individuals and equals simultaneously. And a celebration of women, because you rock. Hope that helps. -S.
from ambrosia1 :
How is this: http://ambrosia1.diaryland.com/goddesses.html
from halfdevoured :
I just received your note that you left for me at DiaryGoddess. I understand your point about omnipotence. What would you suggest we say there? I'm happy to see that you're still here. I would still love for you to be a part of this project. I know that you had concerns about participating, but that won't be an issue because DiaryGoddess is both a webzine and a diaryring for my favorite Goddesses. So all you really need is a profile. Contributions will be encouraged by all, but optional, because I understand that not everyone has the time for writing for the webzine between work, school, writing in their own diaries, etc. As for the confusion earlier concerning Goddesses/mortals...I will be the only mortal there. Everyone else will be a Goddess (or, in your case, a Fallen Angel). What do you think of that? I'm happy to hear from you. And happy to know you. Thank you for your note!
from erato :
It's so refreshing to see you in one place and then feel you in another. I love the new duality I hold right now, too. I love running from one hemisphere to another.
from raven72d :
A voice from long ago. I didn't think you were speaking to me-- let alone reading me.
from poul :
thanks
from me-destruitt :
Your writing is like, Woah.
from timeforanew :
You know, the more I thought about Stockholm, I realized that I had created a "moral of the story" while reading it that was incorrect. When I read over it I saw the holes in my theory. *feels dumb* The reason that the Virtue of Compassion made me cry is that it sounded like an allegoric story of my life. The crow symbolized, to me, all of the people I *tried* to reach out to throughout my teenage years, and how, even though they were ugly too, they just snapped at me and went on to die-- completely rejecting my efforts and intentions. Reading the story sort of brought back all those feelings, but in a good way... Yeah, I see you're not updating as often. But that's okay, for two reasons: 1.) You have TONS of material in the archives, in case any of your readers need a fix, and 2.) Creativity definitely can't be forced. If you forced yourself to update, you might produce lower quality work. Right? So take your time! :)
from timeforanew :
Okay. I had added you a while back, only having read a few entries, because I thought you were intriguing. Yesterday I decided to go back through some of your older entries and learn more about you. I ended up sitting in front of the computer for about six hours, mouth agape, crying and laughing and wanting to live/die really really bad. As you can see, I put a shitload of your entries on my favorite entries list. You have consumed my weekend, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You merely waved your wand, and my mind, which had been dead for so long, came back to life.
from timeforanew :
Okay. I had added you a while back, only having read a few entries, because I thought you were intriguing. Yesterday I decided to go back through some of your older entries and learn more about you. I ended up sitting in front of the computer for about six hours, mouth agape, crying and laughing and wanting to live/die really really bad. As you can see, I put a shitload of your entries on my favorite entries list. You have consumed my weekend, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You merely waved your wand, and my mind, which had been dead for so long, came back to life.
from scarstrucked :
It's interesting to find somebody that writes about their deaths. I've added you to my list for the fact that your writing seems to be as if you were in the shadow of the valley of death.
from watercolored :
This disintegration is perhaps the loveliest thing I've seen in some time.
from timeforanew :
You are intriguing.
from diarygoddess :
I haven't heard from you in a while. Are you okay? Did you get my last email? I sent it a few days ago. I'm finally getting settled in and have some time alone, so I'm going to be writing today and updating my diary and the DiaryGoddess site tonight. I'm using a laptop that a friend let me borrow--still no computer of my own at home, but I hope to have one within a month or so. It will be much easier to communicate with you and to do everything else online then. I hope that you are doing well. Send me a note or an email whenever you can. I'll write to you again tonight. -Stephen
from activate :
you may not realize, but i often write, and afterwards i most times wonder what you're thinking, and it is often very similar. love.
from candoor :
of course that explains why I avoid mirrors, huh?...
from halfdevoured :
I was just looking at your diaryland profile; your favorite movies and music are favorites of mine as well. I also love Wilde, Camus, and Henry Miller, but have yet to read other authours you've listed (a few, like Nin, have been on my miles long list). I'm going to be picking up new books soon...what would you suggest? I'm always looking for something new and love finding out what lierary works and authors move and inspire others.
from candora :
I want to thank you for you remind me you write from depths I thought I left behind...
from thefallofart :
username: sunkship, password: lungs
from halfdevoured :
I added links to your diary here: http://ambrosia1.diaryland.com/goddesses.html, http://ambrosia1.diaryland.com/dawn.html The images are temporary; you can provide images that you prefer whenever you submit a profile. Again, it's wonderful to have you with us. I look forward to your participation as well as reading more stories and poetry in your diary.
from fword :
fword is alive and well and under new management. please forward any work/poems/ideas/quotes to "wordpoisoning@aol.com"
from poul :
dear, you need to host the image somewhere else...
from inaptbeauty :
i quoted you. it'll be up in my site for 5 days... here's me hoping you dont mind
from erato :
I know the feeling, the silence. Sometimes it eats like acid... others, it is perpetuated by the smoke veil of my cigarette. Does it use me to live, or do I use it to escape?
from erato :
Ah, we both are some mornings. But goodness, do we look good in black!
from erato :
Such beauty and intact. The existentialist angst lives. Remember, though, you live, too and should refuse simply to exist. No, seize it, for all moments and things and people are fleeting. And love it and enjoy it, for better and worse.
from watercolored :
Vespers mass this past Fat Tuesday, was contemplating how to make confession for Lent. Decided against it in the end. For obvious reasons.
from watercolored :
You may want to skip over the next entry. There's really no excuse for it, except that I wanted/needed to let go of it. Please do accept my apology in advance.
from gods :
by proxy, coz your signmygbook is broken, z0tl says: "so, do you pride yourself as a good dreamer? i'll tell you if i liked the book when you tell me if you liked childhood's end, let's plan on a msn meetup after you would've read it. ciao bella!"
from gods :
we nevah gave you any description, if you got any, it is a hoax, sorry. there may be & definitely are other gods out there, but they shouldn't be impersonating any of us, so...!
from candora :
This is a test. (beep) This is a test of the Emergency Valentine's Day System. (EVS) This test is to see if leaving notes around DLand will make this a wonderful day in spite of not particularly being with anyone romantically at the moment. (ummm) May the results be that all this love in my heart found some productive use. (smile) And maybe a giggle or few (Happy V-Day from funda and candoor too :)
from erato :
That was just what I needed tonight.
from venusianfire :
Of course dear one. I will show you when done. xxxx
from candoor :
all I have is daily life to drone on about and there's no song in it, but at least it keeps the words flowing...
from watercolored :
Speaking of intoxicating, you leave me quite dizzy at times. Amazing writing.
from brevity :
I decided I needed something simple but well put together so I went out seraching, since the layouts I create are most often plain or chaotic. In other news "The spinning wheel would spit up paragraphs and phrases all night until they all ran together.." I enjoy this latest entry... very much.
from raven72d :
Debate and confrontation are useless. No one's mind is ever changed, and debate only raises the anger level. After all- why would youw ant to eb aroun, let alone have sex with, someone who argues with you-- or just argues?
from raven72d :
Check your hotmail e-mail. And points can be made indirectly, softly... Confrontation is evil. You might read through my last few entries.
from raven72d :
Now why is it exactly that you've become angry and hostile towards me?
from raven72d :
The note was snippy and harsh in tone. That gets it deleted. You well know that I do not respond well to sarcasm or anger. And you never did answer the question raised in my own note.
from raven72d :
Whyever would you use a layout image of a *male* body?
from candora :
dear one, I have been wrapped in my own words and missing the inspiration I get from reading yours... I am happy to see you are still updating, I hope your new year is your best ever.
from raven72d :
I miss hearing from you.
from watercolored :
Thank you for adding me, I'm honoured. Hopefully the void will continue to generate something of use.
from sleepyskin :
wow, apparently I was having typing issues with that last note. almost as embarassing as coming out of the bathroom with your skirt tucked into your hose.
from sleepyskin :
this is mych mroe beautiful than the space girl will ever be.
from gods :
the blue skyies say: you know if you google for z0tl, this bitch raven72d has a whining entry there showing on the first page. he is a big pussy whino who can't fly on account of fears of dying and who can't get laid on account of the constant self pittying and whining. let him beg you delete this note.
from black--daisy :
i like your diary a lot! but the links in the menu bar a bit hard to understand! it took me like 2 minutes finding the guestbook! anywho! love the design! keep it up!
from raven72d :
You must rent and see "The Pillow Book".
from venusianfire :
you always manage to say something that stirs an almost dead ember into re-birth.
from raven72d :
Death... Well, cremation or sky burial. Those are the only ways I'd accept for my body to be dealt with. Burned to ashes or handed to the Breakers of the Dead and left on a tower or a mountainside for the birds.
from verum :
relatives found out about verum & i had to password it for a while (hopefully not too long). user=verum / password=truth
from raven72d :
It has vividness and power with it.
from raven72d :
I love the new layout.
from veuvenoire :
Thanks for the note! Your diary is wonderfully absorbing and I look forward to reading more.
from raven72d :
Read a couple entries, was interested, but won't pursue reading it if Exnihilo is male.
from raven72d :
Who and/or what is Exnihilo?
from demi-monde :
the earth shifted and what was once is no longer.. one part died.. yet another reborn.
from ghanima :
There is a new prompt up now. The password to post is "parisien." I never took you off the members list, so you are more than welcome.
from raven72d :
You've never said anything mean or mean-spirited, though. Or anything personal.
from candora :
still something so appealing and disquieting here... the puzzle keeps me coming back.
from raven72d :
It arrived yesterday... SO Beloit isn't really your style?
from raven72d :
The fact that you've asked twice about the arrival of your letter makes me uneasy about what might be inside.
from raven72d :
Excellent... Now do call me some evening soon!
from raven72d :
"Words are sin..." I like that vur' much.
from erato :
You were the second to catch it. Delightful.
from venusianfire :
Claustraphobia even in death..especially in death. Yes, I feel that. Coffins, like the little boxes people bury their deepest fears, anger and their very inner juice.(the very things that remind us we are alive) I'd rather have the dirt under my nails and up my nose than be trapped inside for all enternity. The Conqueror worm indeed.
from raven72d :
Send me an address to send you real letters...
from raven72d :
Vodka makes things ever so much better. Write me soon.
from nakedpride :
Email me the new address. I have much to say. :)
from nakedpride :
I love your diary.. I'm sorry if I had not told you that earlier. For some reason I thought I had. I appologize. I will write you a formal letter soon. I have been very busy with school, tis the excuse for my delay. We will have to talk soon. :)
from erato :
thank you. It is refreshing to know the power words still carry.
from raven72d :
I'll send you my address again... I like hearing from you.
from raven72d :
Well, then. It seems that you're having a wealth of Adventures... I must say I'm envious.
from poul :
in italy? if you are in venice for last week of august, let me know, i'll take you out for pasta primavera.
from erato :
I have been out in the Baltic for the past week. I shall be in Uppsala at the beginning of next week. Italy, is it? Lovely! Get me a post-card. I haven't an address just yet, but I shall in a matter of weeks. I shall procure one for you as well.
from erato :
And in Europe, we dance. There is no continent so full of everything. I delight in every passing moment. Greeting from the Baltic, I can only imagine where you are now.
from raven72d :
Freudian slips are wonderful...
from autumnal :
adieu.
from ghanima :
don't forget, if you do decide to donate, to open your confirmation email and click the link, or it won't register. Many, many grateful kisses.
from babyisblue :
your writing is so beautiful!
from autumnal :
i killed one self to make room for another.
from camelfxckxr :
LIfe is the fall from grace . . . Every time i visit your words i am left in awe.
from erato :
Indeed, in flight. I go in search of the Norsemen of the myths. All I have in my power is persuasion and the knowledge of all the greatest stories told.
from erato :
If you happen by Stockholm, drop me an email. I do not know where I will be, only that I am arriving in Sweden in a week. Where else the road will take me is unknown. I do not plan, I let my feet take me. That is the best part of all.
from raven72d :
13 pennies falling heads up... Of course it's significant-- a made-to-order significant moment if you were living inside a film or a novel...
from raven72d :
Write soon...
from autumnal :
THE LITTLE DEER - I liked this I liked this piece a lot. Many violent images fought not with insults but the brutal words of a hard nosed passive subject. There are some lines that need pruning and reshaping. There could be a cleaner sweep to the piece to make it run freshly oiled and ready to go. But I dig the bravery and the words and the feelings. The statements.
from raven72d :
You do owe me letters...
from poul :
i just got another one, as a housewarming present. beautiful faux leather case, grey with green keys, perfect condition. $7.99 in value village.
from poul :
did you try to use a real mechanical typewriter? it has this perfect sweet spot of timing when you have some time to think between keystrokes and not enough to overthink and push improvisation away. i have 3 of them, Gabriele E being the favorite (http://nastenka.diaryland.com/030429_97.html).
from poul :
i see you commented on my diary, but i cannot see it in your profile. which pisses me off. must be some glitch in the system. anyway, good writing. i'll be back.
from raven72d :
Never forget poetry and art... And, ummm, beadle is vur' different from beetle...
from autumnal :
mysteries yet to unfold
from nebulous615 :
...i know i know...so sorry, too. i locked it friday after a few things flipped and inversed and exploded that perhaps might have remained alright had the diary been locked in the first place. i'm thinking about how to give it a "face lift," though, since i do miss it.
from raven72d :
Emeralds, yes... vur' lovely... A cool, sardonic color...
from raven72d :
The tattoos are gifts from ex-girlfriends. A black rose on one shoulderblade, a coiled crimson Mayan serpent on the other. I mailed you another letter last week. Write soon. Get a nipple ring.
from z0tl :
if you refer to public enemy alienation now, he's as delusional as it gets, whatevah, but i'm not here to make friends, i'm here to dump my thoughts on a hard drive and i'm here to make very few select friends who don't hate me the minute i sneeze in their direction. i want quality friends, not suck ups & pleasantly distorting mirrors. i'm in no contest of popularity and votes. the other day i was conversing with bobby (the most popular thug here) and lemme tell you, he didn't do that just coz i have 71 linkers ;) so i don't give a damn what happens to my popularity, i do give a damn if people turn around and start stabbing me after pretending to love me to no end.
from autumnal :
I arrived in Boston last night. I am home. A displaced person, still shaken, but free. How? Why? A terrible 48 hours, drunken violent ragings hurled at me out of the blue, walking outside in the city of seattle till 200am, packing all morning, 5 suitcases, a large carry on, a purse. A 60$ taxi ride to a 150$ hotel for the night. A surcharge of 100$ to change my flight. $160 for extra luggage - new luggage to reduce my load - and dinner, and some toiletries - 280$. a friend picked me up at the airport last night, I am here back in the apartment I've had to take my sites down because I've recieved nasty messages from my own family, one member, and her friend. It's awful. She was blackout drunk, I believe, but misunderstandings are no excuse for hurled below the belt insults and threats of violence. I'm still in shock but I know I do not deserve this. I miss the baby deeply, truly. But I will keep my soul intact and I will rely on myself - and my inner world - and the energy of the universe or what not, nature - to be my guide, and to give up the illusion I have a connection in blood that will be my happieness. I wanted to let you know I'm okay and will be getting a website which only a few will know about when I find some work... it will be nice for undiluted anonymity. ill keep the others, but keep them about anais and about my graphic work, sans gbook. nothing personal however. have a good day. lets reconnect soon.
from dcalienz :
Ya I suppose rebellion is well expressed by indifference. I never thought about it. Now that you say that I realize that indifference is my motivation for breaking them. Thanks for the note.
from z0tl :
donna, i'll just be passing through, all i want is a hug and some quiet time to chow down some cherry garcia or whatevah flavor you recommend, i don't have expectations, i just want to have the feeling of saying hi to a very old friend, i don't care if it's delusional, having the feeling will be priceless :) now what you may derive at the same time, only you and your abysses can tell :) :)
from z0tl :
you know i'm fickle, but i swear you make me wanna gag you and feed you icecream with a ladle, in other words, you're my favorite kick ass girl in the whole wide d*land :) i like lipsey too, but she's wimpy wants to come across macho and ends up drooling in fear every now and again, so... but i still want to meet you both when i detroit myself. i've really nothing against 73.5d just that he's sneaky, complaining behind instead of asking people politely to their faces. that's that. but he is good material for jay leno, i wish he'd stumble upon his ass.
from z0tl :
dear donna, i wrote a note to demi-monde that may pertain to you, it's the 11th in the series and i hate handwriting although i can do it masterfully if i wanna. and raven73d sounds more exciting than the previous.
from nakedpride :
Sometimes I hate feeling sexy because it reminds me that I'm human.(My random mind). Thanks for writing intelligent entries, your whole diary has contributed to my thinking. :)
from contrivance :
i've graduated from uw-madison, but now work in the area.
from z0tl :
ahhh, that was very sweet. alas, i am a woman, so i are still up for icecream:z
from z0tl :
no donna, i just decided after chattin with cindie-loo that im-ing is not for me anymore. i'll stick with email like the "old" ones :) i'll note you when i'm in detroit. haha, if i die on the way, i'll make it a point to enact your erotic story on my way out :) i'm blessed to know you :)
from z0tl :
donna, omg omg, i think the communication lines are breaking down, i might actually have to send you air mail. oh shit, the mailman, THE MAILMAN refuses to pick my letters, he IS PICKING ON ME donna, of all people he is choosing to refuse to carry my mail. to you. donna, our having icecream is seriously jeopardized. hahahaha. i'm so coming to detroit if i have to hitch a ride on a samsung rusty bus and i'm coming. your abyss is just that irresistable to me that i have to buy you an icecream. and that's that. even if you turned red over night, i'd still wanna buy you that icecream. you pick the flavors and i pay. i are a gentle man :)
from z0tl :
donna, your words are mesmerizing, it's like you're hera ... anyway, before anything goes into erasure mode, don't worry, we'll get icecream. only please pray for me & have jay leno say good jokes tonight so i can sleep well because my wifey isn't home and i don't sleep well at all when she isn't in bed to hold me. luckily, i got a kitty who has developed quite some holding abilities :) :) :) once again, i am just jaw dropping at your words. to borrow from soony, sequacious! to borrow from me, latria!
from yamakingj :
Thank you for listing one of my entries as a favorite of yours. I am deeply honoured. I am guessing you found my page through Erato, and I'll be reading you in the near future. Again, thank you.
from raven72d :
Names *do* call things into being... And, yes, put up many more pictures...
from z0tl :
for some reason i woke up with a renew pissant attitude towards your buddy raven :) i really wanna have icecream with you & lipsey soon, i really doooooo :) :) :)
from z0tl :
i missed your birthday & i have no excuse. happy belated b'day! i hope you'll be around for a while... :z
from raven72d :
Happy Birthday... And make the piercing the left nipple. Always the left. Never, ever the nose.
from z0tl :
and i love your logorrhea i jes hope when you talk to me, you'll make it into a sweet note and a kiss :) oh & a hug & i buy you icecream.any kind:z
from z0tl :
i (tried) to make you a smoothie. you prolly already read it, because if you can read 72d notes before they get deleted, you prolly drank it too :) in europa or wherever you have fun now.
from raven72d :
Letters are good... letters with photos are better... Enjoy Europe, and Beloit, and the pool...
from autumnal :
Sex Dwarf Isn't it nice Sugar and spice Luring disco dollies to a life of vice I could make a film and make you my star You'd be a natural the way you are I would like you on a long black leash I would parade you down the high street You've got the attraction, you've got the pulling power Walk my little doggy, walk my little sex dwarf we could make a scene We'd be a team Making the headlines sound like a dream When we hit the floor you just watch them move aside We will take them for a ride of rides They all love your minature ways You know what they say about small boys Yeah Sex dwarf Sex dwarf Aaah.. I'm in my jaguar Look it's so huge It's big and gold with my dumb chauffeur Looking to procure Run little doggy, lure a disco dolly Run my little sex dwarf, I feel so lonely Get my little camera, take a pretty picture Sex dwarf In a gold rolls Making it with the dumb chauffeur Isn't it nice Sugar and spice Luring disco dollies to a life of vice Sex dwarf Isn't it nice Luring disco dollies to a life of vice Sex dwarf Ah ah Sex dwarf Ah ah Yeah Mmmmm.. aah... We could make an outfit for my little sex dwarf To match my gold rolls and my dumb chauffeur We look so good, we'll knock 'em cold Knocking 'em cold, in black and gold We can have playtime in my playroom Disco dollies, my sex dwarf And my dumb chauffeur Yeah I would like you on a long black leash You can bring me all the things I need Sex dwarf Isn't it nice Luring disco dollies to a life of vice Yes! Sex dwarf Sex dwarf Ah ah Sex dwarf Oohh.. sex dwarf Hahahaha
from z0tl :
i shall call you criminal :D
from raven72d :
I mailed a letter to you this morning.
from raven72d :
Letter Nr. 2...? No, not yet.
from camelfxckxr :
i pondered your note for a while and then decided i was thinking too much into it,when the answer was so simple. Spring is in the air,flowers are blooming,animals are mating and it was a long and dismal winter for me.
from z0tl :
in my version of the abyss, there ain't no pedestalling :)
from z0tl :
haha, good, stay away from them d*landers, i told you & you lissned good :) i'm coming when you have thought about it & decided it would be fun to eat icecream & feed some ducks in a lake or something :]
from raven72d :
One hopes Angelina Jolie is behind the curtain... But it may only be the red-curtained room from the end of "Twin Peaks".
from z0tl :
haha - cut & paste - you & lips :) :)
from z0tl :
i know i'm on the pedestal & shit, but i will soon fly to detroit for a long weekend & hope to meet you & donna if you guys are up for it. if we're to hammer out some kind of liquidic theory of abyssial nothingness, i think a kick 0ff meeting would be appropriate :z
from z0tl :
if time, then im now? if not, imnsoho, it is never ok to feel like crying because of a note, even if it came from someone you knew for a while.
from z0tl :
and there shall be no brains, no brains in our theory, that shall be utterly limiting, perhaps we could just use 'chaotic atemporal gatherings of conscious streams' - or something. haha, you will write it, you know that, so better get busy with the w0rd inventions, we need to build a dictionary industry around this when we're done as well.
from z0tl :
we definitely need to drop that content thing from any thesis. there shall not be any thesis coming from our bubbles that mentions that adaptive w0rd. i thought we're pondering the liquidic approach, while temporarily adaptive, but pretty much incompressible, it pretty much morphs into whatever it wants as soon as the nasty environment gets bored & removes its finger from the bowl. next, we need some kind of fluidity defined around any type of bowl, so that unless we wish to spend our time with cereals in the morning, we can flush ourselves up/down any kind of drainage device. ummm, more brain st0rming needed.
from z0tl :
ummm.. perhaps we can try baseless & liquid, lips has taught me a lot about liquidity, truly i think i'm more liquid when i say content, if you stick your finger in me, i'll assume a shape around you, but as soon as you pull out, i'll revert back to unpressurable liquid i'm happy assuming any shape for a while kinda thing.. "a baseless liquidic approach to mostly hapiness" ?? let's pull lips in & brainst0rm some more :)
from z0tl :
my contentness is legendary, i'll take the lactic acid, thank you very much :)
from z0tl :
hah-iamcontent&nocompromises-hah oh, donna, yes i believe a belief in nothing is a belief just like the belief in the scientific method & (oh so objective) instrumentation, yes i believe in your bubble & using your mirror you can be nice to me & i'll show you mine, if you won't laugh :) haha, you & i need to come up with a theory about something, anything, i don't care, i'll believe in it, i promise :z
from camelfxckxr :
That is an amazing entry.If only we could be content in Being.
from z0tl :
please get in im if you've a few minutes, i've no philosophy background other than zarathustra the superior by nietzsche methinks :) :)
from z0tl :
w0w, donna-donna, you belive in everything is (best)? and relative right|wrong? thereby your lack of morals is soooo soooo :z i've no w0rd for it. why aren't you permanently happy with that framework then?
from z0tl :
oh no, long notes are just as appreciated, i eat them quite often anyway, so even if you make them really wide & really long & really ugly (which in your case is an impossibility, i'm sorry) still, please feel free to spit out to your heart's desire. now, occam, i go back to the airplane, what is simpler, to imagine a 747 flying or to actually build it from a billion parts & using 200 years of physics? but blah, some scientist told me flat out that building it is easier, so your dream about deriving satisfaction from flying a 747 means nothing when it comes to the "objective reality" but you know what? i'm like fuck the objective, because i'm on top of most of you peeps, so fuck you, if i wanna derive my pleasure out of flying a 747 in my dreams and i can do it and you can't fuck your razor! so, i don't believe in objective reality, not at all. i believe in "it's all IN MY HEAD" and as they say, i'll take that to the grave with me and there ain't gonna be one goddam scientist who will prove me wrong, because if it's their way, i won't be around to listen to their eloquent talks & if it's my way, hmmm..., i'll settle in a world full of wiccas or something, haha. ps: i really know nothing about occam's principle, really, you realize that, right :) :)
from zizi :
thank you for answering my question. i was not mocking you and i am sorry if it sounds that way.
from zizi :
you say in one entry that you have "no morals". how is this working for you? have you had difficulty or success? do you consider yourself amoral or immoral? have others been affected by your morality? how did you decide you did not need or want to be moral? i would like to candidly discuss morality with you sometime. thanks.
from raven72d :
I'd rather like to read your story myself... And an anthro major? Hmmm...med school? Law school? I always wanted a physical anthro degree...
from candora :
I think you may have defined the line between loneliness and depression... or perhaps you described it as an experience... or perhaps sit upon it... may you know yor way back it you cross it...
from z0tl :
donna, thank you kindly for your story. i have promptly cancelled my subscriptions to hustler & playboy & as soon as you issue these with any kind of periodicity, please just bill me for the entire year ahead of time :z
from z0tl :
and i was hoping you could send it today, so i could try and work it into a lucid dream and tell you how it all went tomorrow... :z
from elipsis :
oh! please do send it! no disclaimer required... talent flows out of your fingers. steinjul@msu.edu...
from z0tl :
your detective skillz are lackin a bit, ms.abyss :) ... z0tl@yahoo.com
from z0tl :
after you show lips, you both need to show me, because i am a #1 fan of doing stuff with no body attached. perhaps #0 fan, perhaps :z
from notquiteoct :
i would so have sex with myself
from sinus :
hey Donna is Blue : you have nice writing styles & i enjoy the imagery related to chaos : there is definitely much chaos > & > as much as people fight it > many should realize the utter power of embracing chaos : yes - i encourage you to embrace chaos > love chaos w/ open arMs > it is a sometimes sad submissioN | or | subsumption > but one well worth the wait ::: [ sb ] ::: >>>
from z0tl :
ummm... amn't sure, is there a topic? also, the logistics? i'm on yahoo IM and msn, i see you as aol corporate only. lemme kno which way you want to explore :]
from z0tl :
and they aren't even tho ivy ;)
from z0tl :
no, no, no donnatello, au contraire, your dad shoulda been carl sagan for it to all make sense in their hazed eyez. but now don't take this as rarified or anything. i'm not trying to spin it, trust me, you are :z
from z0tl :
lucidity is death. ok. just coz death is supposed to be as sure as taxes and we all are supposed to be able to die eventually with no complications whatsoever, i surmise the exact opposite will turn out to be true. with that, i will degrade myself into an object now and hit the wall with a big thump. i hope you used all the scholarship money wisely, perhaps to buy a lot of beer, because i doubt they'll be able to teach you much wherever ivy place you go :z
from z0tl :
this is what i came up with thus far: you know how pi goes 3.1415...oo... lalala and it never repeats itself? in the same vein a universe may go ad infinitum and not repeat our planet and most definitely not repeat you. even if it repeated the planet, it is conceivable it wouldn't repeat you. so even i, a strong supporter of the quantum multi-verse, would not believe that dude who started some genetic thing or another. next, i'm glad to hear your dad isn't an architect, that would totally ruin it between us. ok, now back to my synaptic and definitely masochistic degradation :z
from z0tl :
i'm thinkin... if i don't come back in half hour, i've burned all my synapses tryin to figure out who's degrading and where.
from z0tl :
i don't find any flaws with your fiction. it makes perfect sense to me and if i'm under the ilusion of understanding it, i must be degraded, according to your definitions. ummm... ok, i hope i pass :z
from z0tl :
is that a test question?
from z0tl :
donna, you are degrading me into understanding you :z
from starlet-21 :
sweetestangel10@hotmail.com
from dcalienz :
I am sometimes aware that perception is often stronger than truth, and is truth in the mind of the perceiver. What I am trying to say here is that truth and perception are often in opposition, though I often see what I perceive as truth. I appreciate your feedback, and welcome any on this. Of course I may just be misunderstanding what you said. If this note is nonsense, please forgive me. I should not note when I have gone this long without sleep. ;)
from raven72d :
some days.
from raven72d :
I've always assigned Eden to the icy plateau of Leng. Or possibly South Dakota.
from z0tl :
compliment all the way, donna, if it came across a lil twisted, oh well, that's just the way i translate into other realms. but i've been tryin to cut down on the obscenity levelz, i really wouldn't wanna drive away some of the good (one) god abiding folk who might stumble upon my lust :z
from dcalienz :
I meant to speak of life from death in the menu. I thought I had no time. Maybe the thought shaded my words. I have never seen anything you wrote until today. I found you from a note you left someone. Then I went to see if I had any notes, and there you were. At times like that, I always ask myself and sometimes others what does that mean. I have often been told it means nothing. Still, I am fascinated by connections. Especially seemingly random ones. I ask many questions because I have so much to learn. I am so pleased you answered. I keep forgetting my brand of health is not the only one. Thank you for your note.
from elipsis :
it was pretty insane :) beautiful, though... most of my parents' friends lost power, though theirs kept blinking on and off. michigan is definitely the "state of confusion"... hehe
from raven72d :
I'll answer your letter tonight... Now-- is orgasm a whip driving us all on through the wastelands?
from raven72d :
I just received your letter... Mille grazie!
from elipsis :
i would have stopped, too... except it came on the recommendation of a trusted source, so i pushed ahead. i am engrossed, now.. though i really can't tell you how you'll receive it. there's something about the way it's organized that fits my attention span perfectly--switching back and forth from story to story to fact to nonsense and back. and yeah... it sounds like intellectual posturing, but sex without body feels more real, or pure. :) p.s. i love your writing.
from z0tl :
d0nna, thank you for noticing my religionz. even tho i can't navigate in french, i think i had to figure out how to go back at least, because your surrealism seemed, ummm, real to me. so i'll be reading now. thank you.
from z0tl :
lookat all those volpukian notes. you must be a very lucky donna and blue being the color of love in my warped head, i think it just all comes together in a very nice maze. oh, never mind, i'm known to make no sense at all... :z
from elipsis :
i was thinking along *almost* the same lines after i posted that... feeling like i was inside of a maze which, if i could just jump out of it for a moment, would seem unbelievably simple, but which looks from the inside like a series of strange dead-ends... :) thanks for your note!
from raven72d :
Chemistry sets... I always loved the cobalt chloride...it burned with a green-purple flame...
from raven72d :
Accepting responsibility is code for laying oneself open to punishment and blame. I refuse to accept punishment.
from raven72d :
Tatjana Patitz. Look for Tatjana Patitz. Her cheekbones and legs and film noir air make her photos most haunting.
from raven72d :
And I require intelligence as a basic thing in either victim or lover. Without the ability to live inside fantasies, to see references, to create scenarios, sex is just...dull. Intelligence is a key skill in the slutgirls I fancy.
from raven72d :
I like tall, very slender, angular girls... Small breasts but large nipples/areolae. I prefer my girls to give up both underwear and bras, so anything above a 34B is unwieldy. Insane, though... that's often good. All that extra nervous energy has to go *somewhere*, and orgasmic addictions are as good a place as any. I like a girl who has a bit of the fey, of doom around her. Innocence is only ignorance, and I've devoted my life to imparting information-- i.e., to corrupting and seducing.
from raven72d :
Blonde is for victims, red is for inamoratas, blue-black is for muses...
from raven72d :
Oh, not *anyone*... It takes a combination of qualities to be a lovely teen victim. And she does have long legs and prominent hipbones-- always a plus.
from raven72d :
Mandy Moore---> young, 5'10, leggy, blonde, infinitely corruptible and violatable...the all-American virgin one could corrupt into a secret life of opiates, submission, older men, lack of any underwear, and wicked girl-girl adventures... Innocent corrupted, the blonde virgin with the secret life, the Laura Palmer girl... I like that image.
from raven72d :
The ice-skater girl... She's quite fetching. And "Life Seduces Death" was a lovely little story.
from raven72d :
tell me more about the ice-skater girl...and about the girl in black.
from raven72d :
I'll see about a guestbook this weekend... But do put more photos up... And do e-mail me soon...
from raven72d :
Slender, eerie girls in black always attract me.
from raven72d :
The photos and paintings are lovely... The girl in black edging toward the sink-- I like that. Chaos? I like a tightly-structured world with chaos just outside a guarded door... One can slip out into the night, play, and return to structure and hierarchy and ritual. I find science utterly fascinating, but still choose quite arbitrarily to believe in arcane things-- they work as part of the mise en scene, after all...
from camelfxckxr :
Destruction of all is the only path to true freedom.Destruction = Creation,Happy Smashing.
from raven72d :
I agree wholeheartedly about fictional autobiography...
from mattferrara :
you're right, it is probably absurd, but I made a personal rule--admittedly, I never expected more than a handful--that I'd link to whoever linked to me.
from raven72d :
Knowledge is the only quest worth beginning...and the most dangerous.
from raven72d :
No metaphorical baggage, hmmm? So you're traveling with just a passport and a credit card?
from raven72d :
But of course...!
from raven72d :
"Gatsby" is about the failure of dreams-- always a topic that entrances me. It has a lovely melancholy air and it's written in the elegiac style that I want my own life to reflect.
from verum :
my god, this one made me gasp. you are so powerful.
from the-slider :
i read absalom, absalom by faulker when i was 15 and hated it... my opinion might have changed by now, though. at that age, i had a tendency to read books i thought would make me look intelligent without understanding a single word.
from raven72d :
I have no reserves-- emotional, financial, time. The risks of operating without a net-- any risks at all, really --are too great. There's no ability to recover.
from the-slider :
i thoroughly enjoyed portrait of the artist as a young man.. i bought dubliners but was informed i wasnt allowed to read it until after reading ulysses (daunting!) so i am putting joyce on the back burner for now
from raven72d :
I can't operate without a safety net and a back-up team any longer.
from raven72d :
The pitfalls? Well, when you send a distress call, no one is obligated to come. You're left to take the fall when anything goes wrong.
from raven72d :
We're never free except inside our own minds... And freedom has its own pitfalls...
from raven72d :
Fear is the only girl who'll still be seen with me, let alone spend the night.
from autumnal :
celestial
from raven72d :
I'm not very good at exhibiting correct emotional states in social environments. I know that certain emotional/social behavior is expected, but I'm never sure what it might be.
from raven72d :
I comment on the writings and writers I enjoy; I don't bother with things I dislike or find dull. You are vur' much a fine writer.
from raven72d :
"The Fountainhead" for me always brings up the stunningly, hilariously bad film version...and as someone who's interested in architectural history, I can't help but read it as in part a roman-a-clef... But it's worth reading-- less shrill than "Atlas Shrugged", though less reasoned as well... But more human.
from raven72d :
You're a fine writer.
from raven72d :
The small poetic fragment that's your current entry (29 December 02) is lovely indeed.
from diaryreviews :
Your review is up at http://diaryreviews.diaryland.com/donnaisblue.html. One other thing I noticed with your layout: every once in a while, the drop-downs will translate themselves to what appears to be wingdings, and your entry will get cut off at an arbitrary point. I don't know why it happens. Just thought I'd bring it to your attention. ~Vicky
from raven72d :
Predicting the position of the sun... That's the kind of skill I admire and envy...
from raven72d :
Yes, I'd think so... I'd have to go back and read everything again a week after the fact, but I recall commenting on a specific entry.
from raven72d :
I used to feel quite chevaux-leger, always ready to draw a sabre and ride into the battle... These days-- I'm far too risk-averse. I don't fly, I don't drive in urban traffic, I don't ask anyone out. I look around me-- heat, humidity, a local culture I don't do well at --and find that living only in books is so much better. I've passed that awful point in the road beyond which if you have none of the socially-mandated things (family, significant other, career, money, house...u.s.w.)you're officially a failure. Reading about Lawrence Durrell's Alexandria makes me feel like there's a place where I could fit in. The Alexandria a hour away makes me terrified and depressed.
from raven72d :
There are people-- and I'll count myself among them --for whom literature is all that we have. It describes a world that's far, far better than where we are...and ways to live that we long to emulate. I learned how to behave from books, how to think, what to desire. Nothing in the quotidian is as valuable as what's on the page. I've known that deep in my bones for a lifetime.
from raven72d :
I do feel stupid. I'm just no longer able to see connections, to undertand anything, to get anything right. And i'm not comfortable with myself: wrong age, wrong height, wrong locale, no money, no future, no grasp of social performance.
from raven72d :
I'm sorry. Possibly I'm too stupid to know what you were talking about. I thought I was commenting directly on what you'd been saying. Maybe I failed to grasp any of it. Now that I've utterly lost track of your original entry and point, I can't comment at all. I'm always wrong about things, so I really can't have had anything to say here.
from raven72d :
The problem with analysis is that it takes apart without any guarantee of re-assembly. Analyzing any living thing-- a relationship, a book, a society, an organism --can kill the object of analysis...
from raven72d :
There's something scary about analysis: one deconstructs to see the component parts, but at the end all that's left is disjointed fragments... Remember Blake's comment: "The meddling intellect misshapes the forms of things:/We murder to dissect."
from raven72d :
Glad to hear you're okay. Car crashes are just scary-- you suddenly feel so vulnerable inside all that metal and glass.
from raven72d :
The crash... are you okay?
from raven72d :
I don't yet know. I'll have to discover more of how your thoughts work.
from raven72d :
What will you become while you wait...?
from raven72d :
Well, that's waht you'd expect from Czechs. As someone who did Habsburg history, I've always been pro-Hungarian and anti-Czech... A sullen and grasping people, though less appalling than Romanians.
from raven72d :
I've always feared that once people-- especially women --see your weaknesses, they'll never trust you again, never really respect you again.
from raven72d :
Exactly... Candles for the dead, lights through the dark.
from raven72d :
I do promise to take time tomorrow with your stories... I've just been inanely/insanely busy the last few days...
from raven72d :
Ai... Tell me about Ai... And I'm glad you liked the things I've written. I'll send more. Share some of your own... You are interesting...
from raven72d :
Let me know if any of my essays/rants ever opened...
from raven72d :
I'm stunned by your writing...and by your tastes in music and books... The story you did, girl-- the seduction piece...that was breathtaking. Come visit. Tell me about Epicurus. Read Marguerite Yourcenar's "Memoirs of Hadrian" and "The Abyss"...
from irisjune :
Its not that I think words exactly devalue things--why would I consider myself a writer if I did? What I meant is this: have you ever felt something very strongly, like maybe, love, and its simply fruitless to attempt to tell anyone else about this love you feel because words will NEVER suffice to capture the feeling? And, in attempting, haplessly to tell other people about this feeling you are experiencing, in talking about it, trying to decipher it, decode it, give a name to it, THIS devalues the feeling, empties it somehow, and makes it mean less...I suppose I did need to clarify that. Must go imbibe over priced coffees now. Cheers!
from silent-heart :
I appreciate the fact that you took the time to write me a note about my pictures. Its one of the few things that I truly enjoy, no matter what. Hope to have you keep reading, and I will do the same in return.
from burnedroses :
kicks is about a girl who is too controlled so she rebels. its another of those semi search for self books. i like the writing. i read it before white oleander and it seems like theyre by too different people. its good. u should read it.

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