DiaryLand members area

Hi. Don't know if you remember me. I used to be blondeness. I'm searching for new readers and some old friends. Only have one reader since I've password locked and it shouldn't matter, but I'm lonely here and looking for words of wisdom from others who may feel same ways as I do. If you are interested in reading me, let me know, give me your email in my notes or something and I can email the password to you. Thanks! I may just lurk at your diary on occasion if ok with you?

from blondeness :

Merry Christmas!!!

from blondeness :

Hi. I lost the link to you LJ diary, plus I wanted to send you my password and lost your email address (blonde!). I had a dream about you last week, that you died and I was going to go to your funeral. Weird....sorry to creep you out! Anyways, if you get this, can you email me? Thanks.

from blondeness :

I wish I could find your LJ address. Can you email it to me at [email protected]? Thanks, and Happy Holidays to you!:)

from againsthesky :

I've missed you, even though I've been reading LJ for, well ages, I've missed you *here* I actually audibly squee'd when I saw your diary name in festive red. As for what you said, I know...If only I had a car and knew how to drive. I would, I really would. I need to give you hugs, and yes, everything I said in my LJ note was the absolute truth. And yes, you can email me at any time. It would be very welcome actually. Here's to hoping we both feel better ASAP. And even it's not entirely one...have a Happy Thanksgiving. <3 ~e

from blondeness :

Hurray! Your back!!!!!! Yes, come to Wisconsin!!!:)

from blondeness :

Happy Turkey Day, wherever you are!

from blondeness :

Are you still around anywhere? Miss you!

from blondeness :

I miss you in this space!:( Hope all is well with you. ((HUGS))

from heart728 :

Hey, just thought I would drop in and say hi. I have been updating my journal a lot lately. It seems to be my only escape from this military life. Everything is really hard and I am glad you are trying to get some more sleep. I do not know you every well but I do know that being sleep deprived is a by product of serval things. When I come under great stress I tend to have very bad dreams. Those I lose more sleep. It is not good but I fear the dreams I have when under stress. The most you can do is try to find an escape. For now I have none and my strength has been carrying me. Yet for you, you have other options and I know you will choose the best. If anything call brittany. It is what I do. Anyways got to get back to class. Hope to here from you soon. Tim

from krugerpak007 :

I hope you are managing to sleep and feel better. Take care. xoxo Kathy

from heart728 :

Hi Mary, my name is Tim and when Brittany finds out I have found you diary and am attempting to make contact with you she is going to kill me. If you ever want to say hi you can Im at runawayboi420 or call me on my cell 224 381 3284 .Anyways Hope to talk to you soon. I look forward to meeting the mary I hear so much about.

from coeurdoux :

I bumped into your diary and love your entires. I am anxious to read more once I get my moonbeams to bed! LOVE YOUR DIARY!

from blondeness :

Just wanted to drop in to say Happy Holidays to you! I may not be around on dland until after the New Year.

from blondeness :

I'm finally caught up on your entries. Way to go!! I am soooo proud of you and so glad that it went oh so well...:) (((HUGS)))

from blondeness :

I miss you! Well? Did you "tell" them? How did it go? ((HUGS)) being sent your way!

from tfrunner262 :

Hey :) I'm sorry I don't think I ever got back to you and you left me a note (thank-you by the way). I'm sorry to hear that you are going through some hard times and I hope that everything will get better soon. If it helps any to know this, I've cried in public places several times not too long ago myself -- embarassing, yes, but I suppose it happens to the best of us, right? Hopefully, you can have a nice time in New York :) Take care, luvs, ~Kris~

from linusthegirl :

I would love to see your blue hair pics!!! I had no clue you had ever been diagnosed with an attachment disorder..I hope someone slapped that professional for you?

from hamiltonian :

I was here !-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->X

from vikingmaiden :

Hi there. Just wanted to say thanks for all the nice comments you made about my diary. I had time to look at yours and I must say, you write beautifully. Possibly better than anyone I've read so far. Also, Tony Kushner is a genius and "Finding Forrester" is a classic that should be required viewing material for schools. :) Take care and have a nice night/day.

from blondeness :

Did you get my email I sent you? I'm not sure it was your current email address still.

from blondeness :

The leaves are finally beginning to turn properly here in WI. By the way, I drove through Oconomowoc twice yesterday.;) As a kid and even now, I've always LOVED walking through crunchy leaves!!!! As a kid, I remember walking along the curb where they would be racked just to crunch away, all the way home from school. You brought back the memory of that joy for me. Thank you.:)

from valeofenna :

I think it's cylindrical...and I've missed seeing your diary name light up in my buddy list...A LOT has happened in/to my life since you last posted here. anyway, have fun playing with your blue hair. And hey, I have to get my state ID too! :P except not getting mine yet is just out of basic laziness, will probably do it this week though. And may we both permanently solve our transportation issues...soon. It's nice to know you still exist...that I'm not alone with all of this, Take care, 'e'

from blondeness :

Mission accomplished!;)

from blondeness :

I just now finally caught up with your entries and saw the one you sorta kinda addressed to me in the title. I will be driving through good old Oconomowoc,perhaps, this weekend, if my Mom goes home then, so I will mentally blow it a kiss for you, so my Mom does not think I've totally gone nuts, LOL, and when I come back home and drive through it again, I will physically blow it a kiss, K?;) I looked up where you lived on the internet and saw a map where it was located as supposed to where I lived, so I even know what direction to blow the kiss!;)

from wordsofmine :

I know a little of what you speak about getting out. I can make it to work but that's about it. Yeah, I know that's quite a lot but when I'd really rather be safe at home. But hang in there.

from linusthegirl :

I would so be a "real live" friend to you if we lived in the same state. If ever you find yourself in Florida, come find me, and I'll come find you, and eventually we will run into each other, and there we will be..friends!

from chilindrina :

=) (and THAT, my friend, is a REAL smile)

from chilindrina :

well, there are MANY MANY things that make me think, when I read your diary, "wow, I feel, think, or act that way too." These things you won't find in my diary because I don't write much about that... I don't know, I don't write so much what I think about things and all that. But trust me, there are a lot of things in which you and I are alike. (You're so much better than me in many things, though).

from edrec121 :

Hello - please feel free to check out my ED Recovery website just opened, there is a guestbook and message forum so we're hoping people will use it and it will become a good place to hang out and gain information and support. The URL is http://one2one.2ya.com. Hope you don't mind me posting this, just thought it might be of use to you :) Best Wishes, Samantha xxx

from valeofenna :

I really have come to the conclusion that I should copy, paste and print out all your wonderful insightful and very true notes and put them up all over my walls...walls which the inspectors will no doubtedly stare at now that so many of my paintings and drawings--some quite 'strange' are up on them. And yeah we too have zero idea when the inspectors will be coming over...they just slipped a note in everyone's doors saying the week if the 9th to the 14th they will enter your apartment sometime between 9 and 6 AAAHHH! Not very agoraphobically friendly is it? so I won't be going out this next week at all, I don't do well with unknown people crawling around my bedroom without me being there to protect my space. And yes I do agree that I would like to be loved for me--with or maybe eventually without agoraphobia, I guess my faith in non-agoraphobics is just as low as my faith in myself. So I say 'despite' And yes I was thrilled to see a real dirt road!! and I've decided that if I ever feel well/healed enough to take that symbolic full body pic of me outdoors..it will be on her dirt road...and in the arroyo too, cause it's so pretty! Oh and then there's St John's College...Gotta get better, I'll say AM getting better slowly, it is actually more accurate. The yucca are beginning to bloom!! Also your happy thoughts from beneath your blue streaked hair worked..we got another rainbow :P!! 4th now. ::happiness:: And sending you luck in cleaning your room, AND surviving the inspection...And I read your LJ too...I'm happy you finally got money of your own too. As emotional and depressed as I remember getting when I got accepted on it at 19 1/2 yrs old and it hit me that I'm Federally "officially" disabled, and how sucky that is, I'd prefer to be officially anything but...just so you know they send you really ridiculous questionairres every few years, updating their knowledge of your inabilities. ::rolling eyes:: Anyway it's almost 1am, and I think my being so tired, I could write forever in here! But I'll go...for now. I'm sincerely tempted to give you another letter...but I'll save it till I think up a really good riddle...or something...till we leave each other notes again, take care Mary, and thank you... 'e'

from linusthegirl :

Hey you! I hope you are not feeling so sad anymore. I have to ask you a huge favor..can I borrow your blue hair when I get done with therapy? I need a goal..blue hair sounds cool. If you'd rather I not, tell me!

from evilreviews- :

Hello. Would you like a nice, totally sweet and sugarcoated review? You're not going to get one here. But come request anyway. =)

from blondeness :

P.S. I just took that color test and guess what? I am BLUE too!!! But my fave color is Purple, Blue is second.:)

from blondeness :

I finally finally got caught up on your entries!! I *loved* your "Not letting me Go" entry. It was just....so touching and emotional and I was moved to teary eyes... I still need to email you sometime soon, A. To tell you where exactly I lived in "Cooney" land, and B. To maybe get your address to your other journal you speak of?:) Hugs to you!! Talk to you soon, I hope!

from being-katie :

Hey.. thanks for your wisdom. I know you're right. Thanks :)

from blondeness :

OMG!! Too unreal!!! I'm going to have to email you very soon! Soon as I do all the other things I'm supposed to be doing, that is!;)

from blondeness :

I signed this in my own notes, when I should have signed it in yours, to make sure you get it! ok, so I can stop being paranoid then? LOL! I know, isn't is amazing? I mean, I *lived* in the same town as "Mary Brave"? Maybe even at the same time????? I lived in Oconomowoc from early March of 2001, until the end of March 2003, and since then, in the town I am in today, about 15 minutes from there. I could email you with that detail, as to avoid my own stalkers, LOL! And I suppose I could tell you exactly WHERE in the town I lived, to see how close we were and all. That is just tooooo weird! Gotta run! Thanks so much for the note!

from blondeness :

Well, I will miss you Mary, when you are not here...I hope my last note to you was not too personal or nosey or anything. I wasn't trying to "locate" you or anything like that, I just had to remark on the coincidence is all. I suppose I could have emailed you instead of noting it here, but I didn't think you'd mind me mentioning the towns that you had mentioned in your journal. Maybe I am just being paranoid, but please know that I am not a stalker and am not trying to promote any would-be one, ok? Thanks! Sorry again though. ((HUGS))

from linusthegirl :

Oh, as selfish as it is, I so want you to *stay*..

from blondeness :

Mary, I have fallen so behind on your entries and did some catching up today, but I just *have* to touch on something that may make this a remarkable small world! You mentioned "Waukesha, WI" in a previous entry, ages ago, and I meant to ask you about it then, but I never did. I used to live in Waukesha! In fact, that was the town I was living in last with my ex-husband,and I worked for 4 years in Pewaukee nearby, at my last job. And now today I read Oconomowoc! You've got to be kidding me!!! That is where I just lived for my 2 years of being single and on my own and it's about 15 minutes from me now!! There is a possibility that we have been in the same towns at the same time! Amazing! I just had to let you know. I am normally hush hush about where I live and don't mention it my journals, other than the state, but I just had to tell you this because reading those town names was like, "OMG!! Woah!!! Mary was there? Here???"

from valeofenna :

nice to know I was thunk of! :major smile: as for those consonents...hmm have I exhausted the vowels...let's see a,y,e--in that order, each separated by at least one consonent (hint) yep that's it for vowels. Okay, first I'll admit that now every time I hear or see the name Mary, you are in the 'these are mary's who come to mind' section of my brain...along with, well you know, religious women, and Mary Pickfod pops in there with now all 4 of you :P A consonent...hmm. Myself and Tori Amos share only one vowel being the 'a' and one consonent...that being the 't' My name however does not start with a T...:interstate internet hugs: to your persistence!

from valeofenna :

Okay I've been a very bad girl for not leaving you all the notes I've meant to leave you over the past few weeks. I wish I could make it up by leaving the longest note in d-land history, but I'm not up to it, so I would just ramble on and on...But I wanted to say yes, Mary! I too wish, have wished, many times that i could box you up (and your doc too) and ship you here! I would then have more than one reason to smile. And thank you for understanding! you have a gift for understanding people so well. And I thank you for reaching out to me, and caring, and understanding, somehow, the hidden meanings of it all. I am always in awe of you Mary. Take care you...'e' PS My name has twice as many letters as yours--exactly :) to twinhood twiceover :P

from circling :

oh my dear, thank you thank you thank you for getting it, and getting me, and getting my fury. yes, we can be sick and compassionate for our sickness, and for others, but at the same time we CAN be angry that these conditions bleed into, overshadow, even take over so many other life events. Dang, grrl, you're so smart to have found the words - ED Graduation party - for which I've searched to describe that wedding... But you know what else I feel, very very afraid...Do you? That ever life event will always necessarily be haunted (ok, too strong a word, tinged) by our recovery triumphs. When CC has her baby (and I pray to god that she doesn't miscarriage), will her baby shower and baby's birth again be another ED Grad Party that she's beaten the infertility odds to give birth? Can the groom/father even take pride in fathering his child, or will CC's medical team receive more credit for her pregnancy? And on and on... Fear and Anger, Forgiveness and Hope...Feeling On and On...Thank you for walking through the steps of these feelings with me.

from circling :

(((mary))))... when my world feels inexplicable, i find solace in dictionaries (esp. the OED) because sometimes unearthing the origins of words provides a surprising new meaning, an additional way to make sense of words like "divorce". how could so abstract final and painful a term offer any (hidden) redemptive meaning. besides "separation" and "dissolution", the word "divorce" also means literally "to turn away" and "to turn aside." and if i can offer one nugget of comfort from this reliance on etymology, i would say the act of "turning away" from here ALWAYS implies an act of "turning towards" there. like circling, turning always promises a gift, a substitute, some thing awaiting us all around the corner. i can't and don't dare predict what the future holds... in my own geeky bumbling way, however, i want to offer this hidden promise in this awful callous action "divorce": divorce will send you spinning/tumbling/jumbling/confused away from what you had and loved, and promises to turn you towards something [as yet unnamed]...nevertheless, you are turning towards turning towards turning towards turning towards towards towards towards towards...Hope. -- With love in my heart for you, and with love that I project to catch you as your world keeps turning... circling.

from pariahpoet :

Wow, how sad to have your parents divorce at 18. I admire your strength in dealing with it.

from valeofenna :

Thank you so much for the notes. I'm feeling remarkably Mermaidish today :P considering I'm once again drowning in perspiration. But I really do feel you're a very good friend, you leave me more notes than anybody, and very thoughtful one's too. I realized that I forgot to mention d-landers as my wished for people :( I do consider all of you wishes come true. And I admit I don't leave you half the notes I should/want to. I was actually thinking in an email to 'him' that if i had never gotten agoraphobia, we might not all know each other, and that would be sadder,I like knowing that all of you exist! Okay, granted Tori Amos might have gotten *us* to know each other :D But I like sharing a real twinhood with somone as difficult as it is. As for comments/longer notes I might take up emailing you, I seem to be good/better at it--email me the email address you prefer being emailed at. I'll still leave notes, just would like to share more detailed info/thoughts on stuff sometimes. PS we have an A in the same place and order in our first names...:P to twinhood. **ME**

from madamewolf :

wow great diary. :)

from nynaeve16 :

Hey-sorry about not having a few codes up. I was trying to re-organize the rings I'm in, and then save them in a different place because my nitwit sister keeps deleting them, and I guess I just forgot about them. Anyways, they're up now, and I'm glad you said something, because I never would have noticed! And thanks also for the support for the supporative...it meant alot. Write back if you've got time, k? I'd like to keep in touch...~Emily

from fedallah :

In my previous note I said I didn't know what you were talking about when you mentioned the code, but now I do. I'm sorry, I thought it was on there, but I must have accidentally deleted it when I was adding other rings (it was the first ring I joined). Can you tell me the code I have to type into my template? I don't know how else to get it since I already am a member of the ring. Thanks, and sorry about that.

from fedallah :

Hello. I've been lazy, so I haven't left you a note. But I really enjoy reading your diary because you have a funny way of saying things. You tell about your pretty normal life but I like the way you phrase things. Anyway, thanks for the note. But I have to be honest, I can't really make sense of it. Perhaps it's because I'm tired. For instance, I don't know what this code is that you told me to put up or something. Thanks for reading and responding, and have an exciting week so we can hear all the juicy details

from valeofenna :

Thank you

from being-katie :

Mary - I'm sorry... I'd forgotten how much I loved you, but today... when what I was feeling was too deep for words, or even tears, you were who I thought of. I just wanted to say hello because I know you are real enough to understand. You are still more beautiful than I can comprehend. With love, Katie xx

from discodoll :

Two things, The Ninth Gate is better as a movie than as a book AND the Troll Company was recently purchased by a big company (can't remember the name) so Trolls will come back soon!!! (supposedly)

from valeofenna :

Thank you!!! Yes you got the countdown right. I really appreciate your e-card more than you know, and I'm never deleting it...:) I'll click on it when I feel blah...ironically it matches my not ready to be tread upon dedicate entirely to me 'stars' theme website, hmmm. ::major interstate internet hugs:: there's a 'y' somewhere in my name. And those letters are the reason it's mispronounced O;) you'll eventually know it...

from valeofenna :

Yes, I'm a control freak. I confess. But I don't mean to be, and I'm not always aware of it. And I do like it when people point out my faults. As few as there are :P And I really do have a knack for contacting people when they don't want to be contacted. I also don't know if people really like me, or they just say they do because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I prefer honesty at all times, I don't string people along pretending to like them if I don't. My only question is why do they continually answer the phone if they're too busy to talk? Let the damn thing ring, don't pick it up, find out it's me and then say after two minutes 'I have to go.'And hang up on me. If I say something wrong-tell me! I'm mature sometimes, I want to grow, to learn, to know my faults. And some of them are people who *know* that i sit for sometimes 30 minutes redialing their numbers over and over before I can let the damn thing ring. Keep in mind I've never gotten or found adequate therapy. My ramblings on modern technology did however make me feel a bit better. I still wish i had IMed Eric just to say hi. he's really very nice. He's so normal that he seriously makes me want to be normal. oh well. As for selfishness, I also know that have a stress disorder (and my mom gets mad at me) because I continually *don't* know how to tell people I'm too busy. Selfishness. I need befriend it. I'll join Eric in saying Aaargh! Anyway thank you for your note, I'm getting free therapy thanks to d-land. PS Now that I think about it I would rather not be deleted, even when I do type something wrong in your notes section. Anyway, take care...and I'll go take some more medication now...

from runninginsf :

Thanks for the note! I do have to say that I might not have made it through childhood had it not been for Ramona Quimby, Age 8.

from valeofenna :

i had a revelation today: sometimes the combination of modern technology and other people who don't take advantage of it, really sucks. Glad to know i'm not alone, i think i'm overcoming my fear of the existence of the diaryland notes section! here's to twinhood

from valeofenna :

Interstate internet hugs, and direct acknowledgement that one of my favorite people in the whole world, does in fact exist, and within a body too, and her name is Mary. And shared knowledge of just how therapeutic others acknowledgement of one's existence can in fact be. ::many hugs:: 'e'

from blondeness :

I'm just sending a ((HUG)) your way, because it seems like you might need one. Hope it's not too late. I mean, I hope you still need it and your still around online and you read it and it makes you feel somewhat better, because I've been there. I mean, not in the exact place you are/were in and why, but I've felt the same way-wanting my existance acknowledged...so I'm not only acknowledging you, I'm letting you know that you are a wonderful person and an amazing writer.

from valeofenna :

Holy Wow!! What a wonderful thing to wake up to! So, I'm still half asleep, so I figured I'd conquer your notes section again before I become conscious enough to freak out. So anyway, first-thank you. and second-thank you for understanding. And third-send telepathic happy waves in my direction-so 'Eric' will not feel rejected and actually e-mail me. And then there's the word stuff, I was so tired last night, the only ting I could comprehend was love! So, I really wanted half of my dictionary to dwindle, I wanted only words like: Together, and Forever, and Amen...:)But I'm a little more well rested today, but still wish I didn't *have* to comprehend those words that I don't understand the need for in our society anyway. Like 'shrub.' So, I will apease my dictionary, ask it's forgiveness, and look for a word that describes what the award should be called-other than 'really long note' award like possibly the 'uber-note' award! What do you think? it could work. Till I wake up, take care, and continue to leave really long notes!! ::interstate hugs:: 'e'

from whatshesaid :

i just wanted to thank you for the note and tell you i love your layout. very prettie. :)

from valeofenna :

Okay, I'm proceeding to finally conquer your notes section after a very long time :) My emotional twin, you look like me!!! We're the same colors!! Happiness!! Okay, I'm a little bit more pale now, ahh, such is life : D. Last night I got a photo of me to stick in my website, but I gasped at the suddenness of everyone knowing that I'm in a body, so I hurriedly clicked it off-okay a little neuroses never hurt anybody right? But listen out cause I'll do it someday, till then both me and my silent 'e' give you many inter-state ::huggles:: ...as I now proceed to squint and cringe at the finality and un-editability of this note after I click -done!-

from blondeness :

Photos! Yay!! I enjoyed them! I have NEVER seen your face before!:) I don't know why, but I imagined you as a blonde, lol. You have a great smile. I could tell you were really happy in those photos. I still have to get around to posting some more of mine. I have like 20 put aside, mostly of the baby. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for sharing!

from blondeness :

It's me again. I felt so honored that you made just a mere mention of lil' ol me and my Brian in your journal. Thank you, not that it was *for* me or anything, but I just felt the need to say that.:)

from blondeness :

I just had to tell you that your "When I give my Heart" entry was really moving. You inspire me. You make me want to write again. I mean *really* write. I want to get back to my poetry again, but since so much of it was derived from pain, I can't find that part of me anymore really, and I suppose that is a *good* thing, but you've got me to thinking that I'd like to *try* to write poetry again, from my happiness....maybe... so thank you!

from perdiendome :

oh, look! diaryland is still here! :P i forget this recently. that, however, is not the point of this note. this note is to say that i'll be sitting on the blue couch tonight, wondering why life can be such a mess, and i'd love to have a friend join me. :huggle: keep writing, dear... thanks for sharing so much (i know it's primarily a *for-you* thing, but i still appreciate it muchly).

from blavender :

I think probably 50% of the American population has some sort of Anxiety Disorder...It's sad. I have Social Anxiety but it has gotten better with medication. <3

from valeofenna :

I actually think I'm out numbered being that I love both that strange veggie-fruit the tomato AND stranger Cadbury cream filled eggs, which I like despite not knowing exactly what that cream-goop is. The 8th wonder of the world?-yes. ;p

from valeofenna :

Okay the linky things link now it was the _desc it didn't like, and the reason for the error page,I've known people like html, you do one thing they don't like and you get nowhere. Anyway you can now link to my past and link to my present with ease. :D

from valeofenna :

I've known about the prev/next linky things not linking since I changed the html, I didn't do it on purpose, I can tell you that. But I have been consciously waiting for someone to tell me before I try and change it-I know about the annoyance, I sometimes read my own diary for empathy, that's pathetic but true, and that oops! screen that takes forever to click off *is* a definate annoyance. Thank-you and sorry. PS I've been rescued many times by chocolate too ;) take care...

from valeofenna :

I read each word with recognition, and with understanding. And I tremble at not being "alone" with this anymore, but sharing it with you. After sharing it with only myself for half of my life. I know the longing and fear of life's last breath very well, the needing to get out, laced with fear, and the wanting to be "unmade" so that the final breath will never have been breathed in the first place. And the memory will have been of a daughter wanted rather than a daughter missed. Thank-you for giving this a voice, I have been alone with this for too long. Many Many Hugs

from valeofenna :

Thank you a great deal. I struggle every day to try and tell myself that I'm not alone, that my thoughts matter, that I matter, and that I may matter greatly to someone someday. And hopefully to more than just one someone, but to many people. Hope is my favorite word, and empathy, my favorite action. Thank you for giving me both in your note.

from perdiendome :

um, wow. where can i sign up to kick some ass?!? maybe we won't have sign language lessons this week, maybe this week they'll be kick-boxing. so i guess we won't have them so much on the blue couch as in its general vicinity. i may sound light-hearted, but really, that's just the wee morning hours talking. i'm sorry, mary... truly. ::hug::

from valeofenna :

Thank-you for liking my newest "baby" it gives me a little more hope that I may actually someday have a real book of my own with the little bio thingy (keeping fingers crossed) As for my current therapist it's decidedly a like/dislike relationship. She agrees w/ me that I was literally shoved down the path I went down, that my only two choices were suicide or agoraphobia and that I took the "right" one. But her biggest fault is in assuming things, like she went on for five minutes about how much I must not like open fields-I love open fields, it's not the fields I fear-it's the people in the fields. But then she also knows that I have zero ability to handle face to face conflict and I sometimes think she's doing this to provoke me to yell at her, which I can't. The main reason I'm staying is because the first "therapissed" I saw here had a really bad attitude-he wanted more to hang me by own boot-straps than anything else, zero compassion. She at least isn't doing that. My 2nd reason is that I'm really new here to this town and I nearly died (not literally) to get here (but it felt like it) and I felt really horribly alone and when I feel alone I start feeling self-destructive again which scares me, so I have to stay in therapy. I do have some horror stories about psychiatrists I've had to deal with. I'll write about that someday, give everyone who's been there a little empathy. I definately know what you mean, thank-you. PS-I've always wanted to dye my hair blue PPS-I love,love,love my very loud 1942 Royal typewriter. PPPS-I like long notes, I'm a 4-10 pg letter writer so I know about being "long winded" -Take care:)

from valeofenna :

Thank-you :)

from xxlaughyxx :

Totally forgot about it being friend-only since I just recently had to. I'm adding you now!! <3

from xxlaughyxx :

Also, I wanted you to know that I posted a lil' something for you. If it's fallen off the page before you get to see it, here's a direct link: http://www.livejournal.com/users/laughter311/64627.html?mode=reply Heart ya, Laughy

from xxlaughyxx :

((( Chord ))) I just thought that I'd catch up with you, since I have time. I've been busy the past few months. Just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you! How could I? I haven't really been posting in my Diaryland journal, I have a new one and you may look me up sometime, here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/laughter311/ Heart ya, Laughy

from laurelote :

Hi. Thanks for joining my Jo March diaryring... share the love. ^_^

from heidiann :

Welcome to the Beauty is Me ring, thanks for joining! There's a Boy in the Girl's Bathroom was one of my all time favorites. =)

from theatre-geek :

Thank you for joining the comm-theatre diary ring! We'll do community theatre and enjoy it even if we don't get paid! But, an occassional $50 slipped under the table would be nice.

from sweet-malice :

welcome to my anti-school diaryring! :D

from alisama :

*throws confetti* Thanks for joining the near-sighted diaryring! I'll let you know when I think of a gang sign for all myopic people to flash at the police. Take care.

from stephielove :

I was just dropping by to say thank you for joining my diaryring, but I was very caught up in your recent entries. You write very well, and I'm amazed by all you have gone through. You seem to me very strong, and brave. Thanks :)

from blondeness :

Just dropping by with a "Happy Birthday" wish for you!!

from perdiendome :

Although I am too too tired to form any rational thoughts, I want to get a message to you... so forget rational thoughts. just remember I love you and am proud to be your sister. You are definitely brave, my dear.

from blondeness :

Just dropping in to say hello and to thank you for adding me to your favorites on this journal. I love your words. I will be able to now read them again. I didn't have proper access to this site for ages, so I have catching up to do and I look forward to reading "you" again!

from being-katie :

Hey... I've missed you. Thanks for adding me to your favourites and for the beautiful and completely undeserved things you wrote about me in your profile. I'm only here in passing... i desperately wish I had time to read all of your entries, to catch up with all of your life and feel close to you again... I know you said before you found it harder to write letters, but if you ever feel like you might...write them to me. I love you. God bless

from perdiendome :

good news or bad news? i couldn't tell. the love in the entry was quite clear though. and... um... we're okay, right? the email made sense? see, i'm going to have to go out of town tuesday morning for the rest of the week, and it would help to quiet my aunt sandy voice (your aunt sue's twin, so-named after an actual aunt of mine... it would make sense we have twin aunts, seeing as how we're related :)) if i could just say, "i told you so... mary did mean it when she said she loves me regardless..." pbbbthw. [rolls eyes at self] it sounds so over-dramatic to ask, and seriously, all i need is an "i understand," nothing more. i'll be a much happier little bethling all week. and really, truly, yea for you for calling!!

from complex-ptsd :

Thanks for leaving a note in my diary. Recovery is indeed hard. I'm not only recovering from eating disorders, but from drug addiction, alcoholism, and self-mutilation. I am a survivor of multiple rapes (I wrote about one in my diary) and a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Where do I even begin to recover??? I feel so alone. I wondered if anyone had even noticed my diary. So I was really glad to find your note. Thanks! I hope to get to know you better soon. Take care.

from sidhequeen :

Hi again. I tried reading your diary but the font is too small and light for me to see. :-( I'll take a look at it on one of the Kinko's computers the next time I go over there. -Cat

from sidhequeen :

I loved "Ramona" as a little girl and I love her even more now, so thank you for creating the ring. Thank you too for creating c-a-g-e-d. It's amazing to me how easily people dismiss illnesses as serious as eating disorders. My mom was anorexic as a teenager and anything I can do to help bring awareness of how destructive unrealistic body images are, I'm happy to contribute to. -Cat

from perdiendome :

i wish we were neighbors. then you could walk over to my house, sit on the blue couch, and sip tea with me. and that would be plenty of sociability, i think, and hopefully make you feel better too. and you could see that my bedroom (while not winning any ribbons at the state fair) is also not clean. more seriously, isn't it cool that sharing names (with the right people) actually makes them more valuable? as in, i don't feel at all brave today--more like lazy and worthless. but i can see you being brave today (accepting the mission counts, i believe), and if you are willing to share that name with me, well, that means a lot. the "brave" after "bethany jane" wouldn't mean a lot today if i didn't share it with you. i love (and remember) you.

from whereistand :

oh, someone i won't have to overly explain the tattoo to, i think! it's going to be on the inside of my right wrist: little single turret tower thing, one window with a rope coming out of it. and then in a semi circle below the tower- "and i made me a rope". and if i have the money and decide i want to, i might do a very minimilist phoenix thing (i'm working on what i want it to look like) inside my left wrist. but we'll see about that one.

from perdiendome :

oh, there you are! but now i am out of time... i'll just have to go home, hoping that i'll get to come back soon to read.... yes, yes, i'll read you soon... :)

from lilith73 :

You know, I used to have the same fears about growing up, but its not so much growing up that we do, my dear, its growing out. And I think that is what you are doing..you are growing out..expanding your horizons, allowing yourself to be better, to feel better, to care for yourself better, and that is so good for you. I think growing up is a state of mind..I still don't know what I want to be when I "grow up"! But growing out is always welcome. Take care. And thank you for being so kind to me.

back to eventhewind's profile
recommend this diary to a pal?

Other diaries starting with the letter:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

Back to Diaryland