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Hi, I found your diary through your banner. YAY!! ... I had started thinking I had found all of the literate, over-13 diaries in d-land ... the capital "I" is really a dying species out here. Anyway, I enjoyed your entry of today, and the "about" stuff... I look forward to reading more. M

from petrichor :

I remember being prepubscent and even then I remember thinking (to my parents): "Oh grow up! Sheesh." Ha ha. Its interestinf, many a approach I have in my life and attitude we form in opposition to how my parents act. I suppose I have them to thank for in a strange sort of way. Hope things mettel out for the better for you.. petrichor

from evsdr :

It's alright pet,I know what you meant,but it was nice of you to try and explain it,and thank you for offering me your shoulder.

from petrichor :

First, replace "won't" to "want" (I keep on doing that all the time, I think that its because that is how I promised "want" in real life). Second, I am not suggesting you are suicidal. I didn't realize the possible implication until after I clicked DONE! -- my brain thinks its funny, apparentally, to always let me know what I should be paying attention to when its too late, just barely too late. Grrr...

from petrichor :

Its strange, real strange -- recently, many other people's entries have been striking very familiar chords within me. Its kinda eerie, real eerie...... I know what you mean by having to be the strong one, the collected one -- the shoulder which everyone leans on to and holds on to. That when you show the slightest signs of being anythibg but that, everyone is scared by it or frightened, or act indifferent and distant to it -- as if you are violating some holy, divine law by being vulnerable, by being tired, by being anything but the columns that hold up and are forever strong. I have a very hard time crying at all. I cant cry for my own pain very rarely. I think I've done it once maybe for a few years last time I can recall. I kept silent about my problems for a long time. It wasn't my role to be the messed up one, the one who was weak, dependent, and exceedingly vulnerable. I was "me". I was witty, funny, and sillyishly eccentric. I was the wise one -- the philosopher, the questioner. But if I tried anything but that, people backed off from me. I remembered when I cried after I learned my best friend killed herself. I remember especially the first friend I explained why I was crying -- and the look of pure fear and just being pure scared. It wasn't right. I wasn't being "me". When I wasn't being "me", my ex dumped me. When I wasn't being "me", my closest friends and pretty much all of my friends have left me. But I'm too tired, too exhausted, too empty to put on the tap dance anymore. It isn't a facade, but "me" includes the me that people usually don't see or want to see. If you won't to moan, complain, bitch, whine, gripe, scream, yell, or sigh, I'm here for ya. I won't ditch you. I can promise you that. Even up to her suicide, I never ditched Meagan, never did. So, give me a ring when the need or want comes, k? K. Talk to you later.. petrichor

from jl15 :

Hey, just a note to let ya know I haven't forgot ya. My back is kicking my ass, though. Jl from timewaits

from kubi :

I hope things will go well for you tomorrow. I'll be sending you some good thoughts anyway. (Sorry, I can't help but reading your diary - I love it. )

from hwei :

there is much joy to be felt in watching a soccer game :) and I am not a man, and most definitely a girl, so you see, it comes down to the beautiful game... I think the trick for women watching soccer, who are not that interested in soccer to begin with, should start with the cute guys. There really are some. Fredrik Ljungberg. Thierry Henry. etc. And if there aren't any you can pass comments on the muscles at least. That should make any man watching sit up a little and, I dunno, it's funny watching guys react to girls commenting on guys on tv running around a field. Finally if all else fails you can remark on how bizarre some of the players are. Jaap Stam looks like an Easter Island statue, Luke Chadwick like one of those jugs with handles on both sides, David Seaman - bless him - exactly like Mr Pringle, down to the moustache and centre parting. ta!

from kubi :

Love you, woman.

from petrichor :

Your story about when you were seven, your birthday, and your stepmother -- wow. I got literal goosebumps from it. Your story triggered several memories for me too. Your writing... its motivating me, motivating me to write again. I fell out of habit when I left college, and now, I feel like I may get back into the habit thanks to you. So, thanks. I can relate to your story -- it was good for me to read it, it was catharsis. So, ya, thanks.

from kubi :

You have NO idea how important you are, do you? What an impact your words have on those of us who care for you, RESPECT you. Your words when they are kind, means that I sit and smile like a silly little dog... and when they are not so kind - they make me think. And thinking is a positive thing too, so...it's all good. Thank you Einav, for everything. Love you.

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