messages to fightn4life:
(click here to add new message):

from candoor :
you did not appear at blogspot at the address you put in your last entry... just thought i'd mention that so my once a year visit to diaryland is not in vain... all the words, wow... hope you are well and happy and wonderful, or at least ok :)
from kidneygurl :
I am happy for you as I have read about your agonizing decisions and now all I can say is: You Go Girl!
from cocoabean :
Glad to see your post!
from newschick :
oh my god you're back!!! that's amazing!!! i'm so happy and based on your update, you've been crazy busy! i am so glad that you have moved on in life and seen what the world has to offer. that's fantastic. i look forward to many more entries. :) xo newschick
from newschick :
not sure if you ever check this, but i miss your entries. i hope you're well. drop us a line some time. xoxo
from starkitten01 :
Hoping that all is well, haven't seen an update in some time and you've been in my thoughts.. *hugs* to you <3
from starkitten01 :
Sending you lots and lots of well wishes and hopes for Zeke to make a speedy and full recovery. I know how it is to endure that, and it's not easy. Thank you also for your note of encouragement. It really meant a lot to me.
from dinahsoar :
Thanks so much, Sandyz. Your words mean a lot to me. I'm so glad my poetry touches you. Take good care of yourself, my friend.
from newschick :
oh my goodness. best.entry.ever! i think most of us have that same mindset 'my life is awful, i'm crazy, blah de blah'... i LOVE this! i'm saving it to refer back to when i'm feeling this way. hope you're well xoxo
from starkitten01 :
Thank you so much for all that you said. I am closer to the answers I need, and have been met with so much encouragement from my new doctor (and an ultrasound with healthy results) today. I'm off to a decent start on the new journey with tests and potential treatments to help me along. Hopefully it continues well on this path. : ) *hugs*
from pikachu1lt :
Sandy, I have not only started cutting I have also started smoking again.... It is a self medicat5ion type thing and I am not hooked surprisingly. My life is in the "shitter" and I am falling fast. My finaces are crap and I can't get a hold of them.. Mike is helping me as much as he can but he also doesn't know much about finances. I know you all love me but I am falling into the abyss. I can't seem to pull myself out of it. I do love myself but that doesn't stope me from cutting.... Mike took my blades all of them so I haven't had the opertunity to do so. I don't know what he did with them and well right now I could use them...I am tired, alone and lonely... But I do love this man and he hasn't pulled any punches by keeping me in limbo... he was upfront with me from the start. You can't believe just how low I am now. AND I did almost die...I can't give you the details but I was hemoraging and they had to take me into surgery and repair the damage. I am now on 2 weeks of major restrictions and then other restrictions for 6 weeks They said a few more minutes and there would be no saving me. Right now I wish they hadn't then all this would be over with. No I won't try it myself but... I really want this life over with. As I said it is a s"shitter " of a life. I know that there are people who love me but... I am tired... alone...lonely and desperate. I know that doesn't sound good and it doesn't feel good either. I can't even afford my medications because they won't charge the co pays. That is about 15.00 a month but I can't come up with it. Sometimes ... just sometimes I feel like taking all of the medications I have and end it all. Anyway I apprecaite that you care....AND I care for you deeply you are my soul sister we have been through so much together. Leona Your sister of the soul
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz! I'm so glad the poem spoke to you.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz! How great that you are decoraating your room to reflect the new you! The free you! The you you were meant to be! The one who's light shines brightly for all to see! Enjoy!
from dinahsoar :
Happy to hear from you, Sandyz! Hibernation can be a necessary and healing season. Reading today's entry, I would say you are on the mend. It's hard losing something we are so used to (even if it's an inadequate man). It makes sense that it would be an adjustment. Take good care of you! Wonderful Mother's Day message!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz. I'm so glad my poetry engages you in such a deep way. The words literally fly off the keys. I have to admit I am not good with passwords and such. I'm lazy (or something) that way. My mind seems to refuse to try to remember one more "code" (it seems that modern life is so taken up with numbers and codes - my heart resists). I'm not sure why you locked your diary, but I'll catch up when you feel safe to open it. Thanks for your kind words.
from omfggwtf :
thanks so much for that note, it means a lot. i like how you don't boss me around and demand i stop doing things, like many people seem to do ha. i know you're absolutely right and i am looking forward but sometimes it's just really difficult. i know it'll be okay eventually but sometimes i just feel like i'm slipping away hah. i think i'll be okay eventually though. don't worry :) i'll be here for a long, long time still babbling on in here haha x
from newschick :
i know. i am so disappointed. he went back on supporting gay marriage. ashamed. that's why i voted for him. i think i am done with politics. seriously. i don't think i'm going to vote anymore. it's not like i even live in the country.
from dinahsoar :
Sandyz ... I'm locked out! Wanna give me the password?
from life-my-way :
I'd love to have the password if you're sharing. Either way, I hope all is well with you. XO K
from omfggwtf :
awwwwww. we should all be who we want to be :) and wish to be other people if we want hhahaa. i dunno. i;m drunk. but thanks for the encouragement! x
from tater-fay :
Hi there! I don't get on here enough (to read other diaries or to write in my own) but just now saw your note. My sister was murdered by her abusive boyfriend in Nov. 2005. If you search through my old archives on here, you will find out all about it!! I am doing ok...I knew your grandson died tragically but I don't think I have ever known exactly what happened? Would you mind filling me in? Hope you are well...stay strong!!
from newschick :
keep being strong. you are doing amazingly. be proud of yourself. DON'T let him back in. i can so see the co-dependency issue he has, that is not your problem. you will get through this, stay strong and reach out for help to the right people. xoxo
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz! I'm so glad you are adopting that song as your "freedom anthem"! It really reminds me of your story (more than I even knew, huh?). And thank you for appreciating my words. I'm glad they resonate and provide solace. Did I mention I'm proud of you?
from dinahsoar :
Wow, Sandyz! You look BEAUTIFUL (you would NEVER be mistaken for her grandma)! And you sound GREAT - strong and free! Have you ever heard the country song My Give-a-Damn's Busted? I think it's by Jody Messina (not sure of the spelling). It really addresses the whole "ex trying to work his way back" theme is the cleverest way! Have a listen!
from dinahsoar :
I'm proud of you, girl!
from pikachu1lt :
i wrote your son but he hasn't written back hope that i didn't depress him to the point where he won't write.
from newschick :
that must have been tough to see him again, but you have definitely made the right decision. he is probably just missing you taking care of him, and he feels a bit low, but he will adjust, just as you have adjusted. keep your head high, and keep YOUR interests first, no matter what. (which you're doing, well done) :)
from newschick :
we may not have the same diagnoses, but i definitely relate to almost every entry of yours. funny how that works. i like my new psychologist, i'm seeing her again on monday, i'm happy that i have one. and insurance is a pain in the ass! so unfair...my old houston therapist is not on mine, but i just couldn't bare seeing a new one. here's hoping we can see the positive in the new year and make it better than the last one. xoxo
from omfggwtf :
you nearly made me cry haha! thank you so much for that note, it made me feel better. fortunately it's not "over", but it's not exactly great either. i suppose we'll have to work on this problem.. hmm, time will tell! thank you x
from newschick :
aww best of luck! i also winged it. she was so unbelievably nice that i was almost taken aback. you could tell this lady really, truly, has empathy for her clients. she took her time, too...wasn't even watching the clock. we're going to do some CBT on my self esteem... she thinks it's the core issue of most of my issues. i'd totally agree. all the other things - the depression, ocd, ed, anxiety, etc - they all are linked to me basically hating myself. and it's gotta stop. i'm very happy i went to her. let me know how your new one goes, yeah? hugs <3
from dinahsoar :
You are on a courageous road. You are equipped. Trust your child-heart. Trust God.
from dinahsoar :
Sandyz, I cannot express how much your message means to. I read it through tears. It is amazing to me that we, while anonymous in many ways, know one another on a level that others, who are here and present, cannot or do not. It is a mystery that you, who would not recognize me if I sat beside you in a restaurant, know my heart, understand my intentions and offer me a balm of comfort and joy that is often lacking from those who think they know me. I treasure you. I learn from your struggle and I am glad that I am able to hold the light when you feel it slipping and that you do the same for me. Be blessed, precious Sandyz. We are kin.
from minstrelite :
Thank you for your wonderful note. I actually became teary-eyed when I read it. No sweat about procrastinating on my account. I was probably still angry at my friends and family when I wrote the email, but I am beginning to put things into perspective and let go. Let go of everybody -- except my daughter. It's hard, but I have to let go. It's not going to help if Dad keeps butting in. It's like I'm a party-crasher. On another subject, what exactly is your scene? Pennsylvania? Since I am no longer bound to the State of California, and I am now on a fixed income, I have this half-baked idea to make a trek on AmTrak down the State then cross Arizona and New Mexico through Texas through the Bible Belt and up the East Coast, cross the border to Montreal, and finally land in Ottawa, where I might conceivably have a living situation if I can manage the beauracratic and governmental details. The theme is to visit all my DiaryLand friends on the way. I'll definitely contact you about this if/when the other half gets baked.
from newschick :
hey hun, i love reading your entries as well. i am sorry that you are feeling so down these days. i'm not much better myself. but i did get an appt to see a counselor tomorrow as it's off-term and they had availability. i don't want to spend this winter crying and upset and depressed. if you feel you need an anti-depressant, go on one. seriously. it will help. i was on zoloft for years. it totally helped me get out of a dark pit. i do hope you keep updating, i often wonder about you and how you're doing. keep writing, it always helps to get everything out. or, at least, some of it. xoxo
from dinahsoar :
It is normal to mourn when chapters close, even painful chapters. It is normal to feel the void, even when the tooth was abcessed. It sounds like you are intuitively giving yourself this time to hiberate and adjust. Be well, Sandyz.
from swimmmer72 :
Merry Christmas to you, too, Sandy!! And, even more important, I hope this New Year turns out to be a great one for you!! XO :)
from dinahsoar :
Congratulations on your new beginning, Sandyz! You sound strong and centered and even a bit exhilerated!
from dinahsoar :
Thanks so much for your note. I love what you said about the flash cards. I really appreciate your feedback. Your comments are so thoughtful and born of a writer's mind.
from dinahsoar :
Sandyz, I am so happy to hear about your reconnecting with your Dad! When I write something like that, it really is the Holy Spirit speaking through me. I'm basically just a typist. Glad it was so helpful!
from omfggwtf :
haha thank you for the note, very nice of you :) yeah i think it gets easier as time goes on, my dad isn't so bad now so i don't have to worry as much when it gets to this time of the year.. and thank you again for the compliment, even though i think it's just something dad's say to their daughters haha.. i'm not fascinating! i just ramble ;)
from dinahsoar :
Thank you for your note. You are such a lovely writer, why don't you write your Dad. You could express your conflict and your ambivalence and that your being in the situation you are with the man currently in your life is not against your Dad. It is just a quagmire you fell into and am trying to extricate yourself from. Just a thought.
from omfggwtf :
you have the password in an email :) xo
from dinahsoar :
Your resilience shines. You are transforming your experiences through your craft. Congratulations on your word count!
from dinahsoar :
I believe we are partners on this "virtual" journey and that God brought us all together in this cathartic, amazingly anonymous circle of strangers who care deeply. You are not alone.
from dinahsoar :
You are already healing. I can even see it in your picture. I'm glad re-reading your entries is helpful. Yes, you need to wake up. You are now asking the right questions. One of my favorite questions of all time is ... What do you know now that it will take you six months to find out? Just sit with that. You already know how this plays out if you don't take care of yourself. Remember ... If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got. Another is ... Nothing changes if nothing changes. Peace be with you.
from newschick :
as always, thank you for your kind words. i actually think i will be okay. one day. i have hope. i think. xoxo keep us updated on everything.
from dinahsoar :
You don't need to hate him. You just need to love you. You are not resposible for the choices he has made. There are consequences to all choices. He is reaping those. Process all your feelings in therapy. Look at your old writing when you feel your heart melting to your own hurt. Point him to God and then give him to God. He is experiencing the choices he has consistently made. Hopefully, he will learn to make different choices. You cannot force feed healthy fare. He still has the power to choose differently. So do you. You can choose to take care of yourself. You can even love him from afar and pray for him. You are not trying to punish him. He has punished himself. You are just trying to protect you from his punishment. Anyone can change their behavior temporarily (i.e. the DVD, pizza), but changing character is harder and has to come from within. Experiencing his losses can inspire him to change from within or to continue making similar selfish choices and end up alone. Whatever you choose, take care of you. Sometimes it is loving to allow a person to experience their own discomfort. I don't really know either of you, so I wouldn't presume what the right choice is. For that, speak to God and to your therapist and then act with resolve. Love, Cassandra
from dinahsoar :
Thanks for reading and resonating with my stuff. It's so great that we, strangers, can learn from each other and transform and externalize our pain into art ... together.
from dinahsoar :
I think it's great that you're writing your November novel! You have much to say!
from missmaggie03 :
Sandy I *heart* you! :)
from dinahsoar :
It sounds like you are being given a fresh perspective. There is momentum there. I can hear it.
from dinahsoar :
Thank you for so openly sharing your raw, beautiful and broken heart.
from dinahsoar :
I am honored to know you and blessed to be counted as a blessing by you. Your candor and searingly honest observations inspire me. Thank you! Love, Cassandra
from dinahsoar :
So nice. So soothing. Amazing pictures, full of solace.
from dinahsoar :
I'm so sorry you are suffering so at the hands of that boor. Your diary is so heartbreaking. So honest. So brave. I'm glad you have the support of a good attorney and therapist. You have got to get away from that vile man. Cling to God with a fingernail grip. He is with you. He will bring you through the valley of weeping. He will exchange beauty for ashes. He is YOUR Shepherd. Hear His voice alone and the voice of a stranger, DO NOT FOLLOW.
from newschick :
you are going through a lot right now. i hope you are coping okay. just from what i've read and what you say the judge/lawyers have said, i DO think you should follow their advice and get a plan of action in motion. as soon as possible. now! i can imagine you 6 months from now, feeling SO much better with your new-found freedom. you DO NOT deserve what is happening to you, and i know you know that. so be brave, and reach out to the so many people who love you. take care, xx
from pikachu1lt :
Sandy my dear sister of the heart you have had way to much on you plate to worry about me. I am going to move into low income housing and sell my home to my son and from there I will be moving to Tennessee. Keith played me made me realize how alone I am and well I am going to go to my family. My mother has basically disowned me because I disagree with her way of treateing my brother so I really have nothing here except my son who is doing his own thing. He tries and he wants me to be safe away from this place which is falling in and I can't do anything to fix. I just don't have the income or the ability any longer to do it. Keith would of made me happy if he had been who he said he was. So now I move forward and start over. On my own like it always has been. I will be here for you as well if you need me or want to talk you have my email I think if not I will give it to you. anyway I am off to bed.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz, Thank you so much for your comforting words. I know they are sincere, as you are speaking from a place of personal resonance. I appreciate you. Thanks again. Cassandra
from starkitten01 :
I am so incredibly happy for you that you have made so many positive changes in your life. The tough times will pass, even if it takes a while and tests your patience and willpower in the end, all tests are meant to make us stronger ultimately. YOU, I know, are a very strong woman. GOOD FOR YOU for filing for divorce and for re-claiming your independence. And GOOD FOR YOU also for deciding that some internet hobbies were taking up too much of your valuable time, and for making positive changes that will reward you in the end. You were wise enough to recognize you had better things to do, and for that many kudo's! You deserve SO much more in your life, and I commend you on your choice to move on from your marriage. I would hug you if I could, I know that things will work out wonderfully for you in the end. You have a beautiful life *without* him! : ) Keep looking forward, once he moves out you will be able to shape everything around you just the way you want for it to be, and that is so exciting to imagine for yourself!! <3
from newschick :
awww thank you so much for your note. i've felt pretty crap for a good long while now... and this did not help. in honesty she is right, i SHOULD lose a few pounds... but the only way i know how to lose is to either starve or purge. both of which i am trying to avoid at present. so i'm eating healthy and exercising...we'll see what happens. i'm trying to say 'the only thing that matters is that i am happy'...but OF COURSE i'm not happy at all. i'm miserable and embarrassed most of my life, actually. sigh. but on a positive note i LOVE when you update! i wish you would more often!!! :)
from gr8chick :
I'm trying this for the third time, Sandyz! I was thinking about you the other day, and decided to stop by and check out my DL buds. How are things on the homefront? Things are better at mine...still same issues,but I'm just better at dealing with it. I just wanted to tell you how much I miss communicating with you. You are a very special person, Lady! I will be checking my DL account weekly, so please feel free to leave a note. Hope you're having an outstanding day, my dear! ~Maria
from dinahsoar :
Thank you so much!
from dinahsoar :
I just dropped back into Diaryland & read your entry. Timely, for me. I am losing my mother. The entry I just wrote is about her. Your words offered solace and a sense of navigating this whole painful process. Thank you. Grief is, besides being intensely personal, intensely universal.
from newschick :
thank you for your kind words... i'm just still wondering how everything in my life has happened...don't worry i'm not tempted to cut...doing that seems so foreign. anyway hope you're well and get some rest. :)
from pikachu1lt :
((((Hugs you tight)))) yes I understand how hard it is to be without someone that was your rock but one day it gets a little easier. YOU go through the motons of living for some time but then you realize that isn't what the parent/grandparnet wuld want and you start to move forward. Things took a slight turn for the btter for me. I no have a b/f and he is a priest. (yeah yo heard me right) but he is dying suppose to be gone in a year says he will beat it though... and with his attitude I wuld say he will.- He loves me a much as I lovehim. I have known him for 3 years but thetime was never rigth ..... till now. Hang on Sandy it will get better I promise you. Your sister of the heartand soul leona
from catsoul :
Thanks Sandy for leaving me a note, I always appreciate your sharing and hearing from you. Those long nights at work leave alot of time for thinking. Hope tonight is better for you and the lady you are caring for. Take care. =^..^=
from starkitten01 :
I agree, and thank you for your note. The more I think about the situation the more I am feeling this growing sense of doom. I think there's nothing good that can come out of trying to work things out. I'm walking on very thin ice, and I'm treading very very lightly :/
from pikachu1lt :
You and I are so much alike in so many ways when it comes to this relationship thing. Pain is something I now feel daily and wish that it would go away. I can't tell you that it will stop Sandy but maybe it will. At least I can hope it does for you. IF he doesn't leave maybe you should make him go so you can start feeling better about yourself. I am told that you don't need a man to be happy... Sure would be nice to be in the arms of someone that cared though wouldn't it. And I dont' mean sex wise either for I hate sex I just want to be held and I am sure except for the first part of what I said you would like to be held too. to have someone to turn to and talk. Maybe you do ... I dunno... I don't but then that is me. All I can tell you my sister of the heart is to keep your head up and go through each day knowing you're a beautiful person.
from newschick :
i'm really sorry about your mum and can't imagine what it must be like to lose a parent... :( my friend's mum died last year and it took her a LONG time but she definitely found her feet recently, so this void feeling should pass eventually. not sure if that helps, but just let yourself feel and grieve right now, it is okay to feel rubbish, but also remember all the good things out there, it will help balance out the pain. xoxo
from lifes-ajrney :
It was so good to see you writing again. I have thought of you often when I am online and see that you have not written anything in so long. I am wondering which of my diary entries you read when you say I sound happy because it seems like most of them here lately I have been very confused, and right now I am somewhat happy but still a little confused. Anyway, take care and just keep writing because from where I sit it seems like you were meant to do just that.
from lifes-ajrney :
Sandy, I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you right now. I can't imagine what you are going thru but just remember that God's love is with you now more than ever, and I pray that you and your family can feel his presence through all of this. Take Care. Lisa (lifes-ajrney)
from starkitten01 :
Oh my gosh, the whole Christmas tree thing really hit home for me. It's the same way here, if I don't put it up by myself, it doesn't go up. Adam does little to nothing to include himself in my life or make anything about *us* anymore. We've only been together five years and he's already this lost for appreciation. When he says that he loves me, it's like an empty phrase. I don't feel it. I don't see it, not anymore. We're just going through the motions of what a couple is supposed to do, it's all so robotic. I can't tell you enough how much I understand every word that you've said. I am sorry to hear about your V-day. Mine was no better, Adam made some sarcastic joke about the gift I'd left for him, and he had nothing for me. Eventually, he decided to take me out and offer to get me something cheap because he (must have) felt guilty about having put zero effort and thought into the day at all. I also have been in abusive relationships in the past, and now it's like well, at least he doesn't put his hands on me. Emotionally and mentally, however, it's just sad. You are not alone, my dear. I know exactly what you're going through. *Hugs* <3
from starhearts :
Hey Sandy..you are right we have alot but feeling low we often focus on the struggles of life...know where you are coming from and sending along a hug! thinking of you. C.
from invisibledon :
Hey, did you hit snooze today?
from wildguess :
hi!! I hear you on the F in letting go, Ive gotten that grade since I was born. I wanted to let you know im going to be locking my diary again, I write way too much personal stuff there and I dont want people (or clients!) to accidentally stumble upon it. But! i will send you a passcode if you still want to read :) Thank you for keeping me "company" in all my ups and downs. I really appreciate it
from newschick :
thanks, i love it when you write notes on my wall. i seem to have lost my audience, so it's good to know that somebody still reads! ;) gone are the glory days of the early 2000's when diaryland was in its prime...tears. hope you're well, xx
from lifes-ajrney :
Just wanted to send you a message to say Happy New Year! I hope that you are doing well. I see that you haven't written in a while, and I must admit i only write about once a week or so myself so I understand how other things get in the way. I too spend way too much time on facebook playing mindless games. lol. Well as I said I hope you are doing well, and that your holidays were great! Take Care!
from starkitten01 :
I hope that your holidays will be good ones, even if you had to put the tree and everything else up by yourself just like me. I hope that the new year finds you well. Merry Christmas and Happy 2010 <3 <3
from wildguess :
thank you so much for the many encouraging messages! My email kept sending the notices to my spam folder so I wasnt aware of them until i went to see what was in there. Your kindness and understanding made me tear up. When I write the entries I usually imagine nobody reads it, so I just pour whatever Im feeling without much restriction. I am so thankful for your kindness and your words, as you probably are the only person that has any knowledge of the darkest parts of my days. Thank you so for your company even if you are thousand of miles away. :O)
from swimmmer72 :
We had an inch or two on Monday, which all melted today. Currently awaiting THE BIG ONE and am expected steady snow for the next two days. Only 6-8 inches near the lake, but plenty more inland. Kinda looking forward to it. :)
from lifes-ajrney :
Hi there, I just logged on after so long away and when I read your message I didn't feel so bad. It is really hard sometimes to keep up a diary when life gets in the way and we get so wrapped up in what is going on that we forget to stop and reflect on our own thoughts and feelings as this diary was originally intended, well, for me anyway. I posted a new entry today so you and others will know what is going on with me. I read your entry and the poem you wrote for your daughter on her special day was so beautiful! I'm sure she knows what a special mother she has. Take care and you are also in my prayers. Bye! :-)
from catsoul :
Thanks Sandy...I do feel better...add me as a friend in Facebook....ambereyesforyou...Take care and have a good trip. =^..^=
from newschick :
thanks, it feels good right now. hope it lasts. :)
from tater-fay :
there are a ton of "you" (your name) on facebook. How about you add me? Stacey Fay (in oregon)..the pic currently is of a baby with green baby food on her mouth!!
from morticon :
I'm so proud that you got your work published, many congratulations! I've got bills pouring out my windows this year but once I've got my cash steady again, I'd love to buy your book. I'm so excited to read it.
from mpeacock :
I am so sorry Sandy, I sat down to email you what you need to send me your book, but I can't find the info. I thought it was in my comments, but here is my email tomigriffin@hotmail.com. Thanks, I hope all is well.
from lifes-ajrney :
I just read the note you sent me, and I thank you for your words of encouragement, I had just written my diary entry and it was rather negative because that's how I was feeling at the moment, but after reading your note and then I read your latest entry and I realized that God is guiding me already and helping me to deal with all that I am going through just as I am sure He has been with you and your family through your own tragedy. Thanks again and I will be reading your diary as I hope you will continue to read mine. Have a blessed day!
from h2ophobic :
I'm sorry I've not been a good friend lately. I confess that thinking about your book and your grandson has made my loss feel very raw and painful. I'm sorry. I AM thrilled for you and VERY proud of you. I wish you the best success and pray that this process will be very healing for you and your family. If you get a chance, please post some photos of you at your booksigning. That is exciting beyond words! {HUGS}
from pikachu1lt :
Sandy my dearest sister. While life is yet a roller coaster ride I am finding my way through slowly. With everything that has gone on in my life I completely did not write Silas but will soon very soon. T.D. is again talking to me but things are very tenative and I for one want to keep it that way at least for now. He will not break this heart again. I bought a copy of your book and am waiting for it to come in the mail. My dear sister I await reading this with pleasure. I have one regret and that is that I can't have it signed by you personally. Maybe this winter when I get some more money I will be able to come to PA and visit you.
from starkitten01 :
It means a lot to me that you enjoy my writing. I am very honored to have you as one of my faithful readers, and I quite enjoy your journal as well. I had to disable my comments/notes for a while due to too much criticism that I never asked for from some readers, as I come here to write and not to have my life or my situation criticized by others. I just want you to know that my having to disable my notes had nothing to do with you. Your notes have always been such a joy to me, in fact! <3
from dinahsoar :
Did you write that Moons & Moccasins poem? It's beyond amazing!
from newschick :
thanks, it's good to be back. i kept logging in, wishing i could post something, and finally one day i was like screw this. if i take my name out of everything, then google can't find me...at least i hope so. xx
from starkitten01 :
Yeah, it's been bad. Really, if I could get out, I would. I care, that's just in my nature, but I'm not in love with him anymore.. I realize this. I accept it, and he has no one to thank but himself.
from starkitten01 :
I know, I'm sorry it's been a while since I've been on here. I'm pretty down, to say the least. Everyone keeps saying "just leave".. they don't understand that I have no place that I can go. I am truly, genuinely and sadly stuck here or I would have left a long, long time ago. I sincerely hope that things have improved in your situation, but I'm also a cynic.. I doubt that when things are bad, that they frequently change and get significantly better. I can hope for you, though... <3
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz! Thanks for not giving up on me! I miss keeping up with my Diaryland buds & need to start reading & writing again! I've been super busy at my work, but things are starting to settle & I plan on becoming a regular again! Take care!
from samantha :
I added you to my friends but I don't post in my diaryland anymore since I use a blog on my website. :) imagesfromapoet . com is the website!
from starkitten01 :
While I'm sorry to hear that you're in a somewhat similar situation, it is comforting to know that I'm not alone. Though I wouldn't choose to live this sort of a life, nor do I think that you would, either, if given the choice of this or something else. I wouldn't wish this life on my worst enemy, and I'm sure you can agree with that. It sucks. Please know you're not alone in this, I totally understand and I get it. *hugs*
from starkitten01 :
Thank you. Your notes are always a help to me, I always love hearing what readers think. Sometimes I sit back and wonder if the way I'm feeling about something, or handling something, is somehow *wrong* and if I am not realizing that it's really all MY fault. I'm good at that. And then when a reader offers some input, and confirms what I was feeling/thinking, it helps me to find the confirmation that I need to know that I'm not really losing my mind. I definitely don't want or plan on having a child, definitely not. And the more my eyes are opened to the situation at hand, I'm seeing more and more why the 'engagement' also went bye bye so long ago (at my decision). I only wish I had more options right now in order to make decisions that would be in MY best interests, rather than to remain in this situation.. But sadly right now I am stuck here whether I like it or not. Thank you again for always offering your thoughts, it means a lot <3
from theanarunner :
Glad to hear all is well. Hugs, from an old diaryland friend ;)
from boxx9000 :
Just stopping by to wish you a HAPPY EASTER filled with peace, love, HEALTH, and Happiness. ~BoXx
from wildguess :
Thank you so much for your kind and wise words. Im starting to seriously realize how I just like to go beyond what i know i should. Like i want to prove that im special and it wont happen to me. Im one of those silly ones. The good thing is I am aware of this and I accept the risk and know that after it hits the fan that particular possibility will be proven wrong and I wont do it again. But i guess i just have to try. though i really wish I wasnt so stubborn so id spare myself of unecessary grief. I hope your day became a little sunnier, though I cannot image the pain you have been going thru all this years on this date. Big hug to you. Sandra
from dinahsoar :
Thanks for sticking with me! I know I'm a D'yland flake! Much love! Cassandra
from minstrelite :
http://minstrelite.diaryland.com/090212_1.html, as soon as possible, it's all good, it's so good, it's so wonderfully, marvelously, good...i was a laughing buddha on the streets of this beautiful, wonderful city....i have never been this happy before in my entire life!!! - same note to Xaveria and Katherine i'm hurried on a fifteen minute terminal while homeless, and i love my life for once!! i cannot tell you or describe the Glory ---
from pikachu1lt :
My sister of my soul thank you for your note. Silas quit writting me over a year ago. I have missed his letters ad wondered if it was something I had done. My lover and I will contnue on and I could only hope that he will one day see that I am the one for him. I am after all going to give up everything for him and move to Virginia. How close is PA to Virginia I would love to meet you in 3D world. It is very lonely to sit here day after lonely day and worry being scared of moving. Leaving behind all that I know. I know that is probably pathetic and I should just deal with it but it is really hard to do. My love and lover wants someone he can grow old with but he will not give me up whomever he choses will have to accept me too. It would end up being a three way relationship. I am torn by the whole thing and frightened by it. I want him enough to do this but still am scared to death. Trust between him and I have been slowly built but I still have trouble with the whole trust issue. My email if you want to email me is gentle.wind.thomack@gmail.com I would love to hear from you and perhaps I could get Silas's addy from you so that we may correspond again. I would enjoy this
from starkitten01 :
Your note really put a smile on my face, thank you. : ) I have really enjoyed reading your entries as well. I, too, am passionate about writing and I do hope that all of your publishing dreams become a reality for you! Thank you for adding me, as well! <3
from starkitten01 :
Thank you! I really like yours as well, and I look forward to keeping up on your thoughts here! <3
from fairygodmum :
Nice to know you ask your kitties for advice. I talk to my dogs all the time. Animals are telepathic and talk to you in your mind. My puppy chiquaqua is still learning language and I can't figure out what she's saying half the time, it's jibberish and panic puppy talk. Flits about from thought to thought. Ohhh How I love that you found a place to move. And how happy the critters are going to be!!
from swimmmer72 :
Did you send me an email titled "1929 til now" or something like that? If so, I deleted it by mistake because it went to my spam box and it wasn't until later when I thought about it and realized it might have been from you. If so, could you resend it? Thanks, Sandy! :)
from pikachu1lt :
It has been 3 months since I was last on here. I have been in Virginia on vacation from the money I recieved and got to meet the man I love unfortunatly a wedding will never take place as he is 21 and I am 49 but we are good freinds together. I see your diary says you are now married? When did this happen? I have missed so much. Mayhaps one day we can get together and meet. I would really like that My soul sister. Much has happened in my 3d life and it sounds as if yours has been filled with adventures too.
from bettyalready :
I have missed so much! I bailed for a while. Too much going on. Marriage issues. School. Published? What?
from wildguess :
THANK YOU! i really appreciate that! especially from a soon-to-be published author! ;O)
from jiltedsoul :
I'm excited for you; I know great things will come to you ;)
from shrinkmeana :
Happy Thanksgiving Sandy!
from minstrelite :
just sent you an email :-)
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz! You are So cute! I haven't kept up with Diaryland for awhile, but just happened to stop by!
from wordwhore :
thanks, hon. he's home right now getting ready to switch hospitals and go for surgery in the morning.
from boxx9000 :
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
from wordwhore :
Thanks! I didn't want to post the name in case the in-laws do a search or something, ya know? Anyway, 's called the visitor.
from wordwhore :
thanks, sandy
from swimmmer72 :
Thanks for the leaf report! I'm probably heading down somewhere in your general direction, but I was holding off since you are usually a week or two behind New York. If you have good color already, that's a good thing! I'm sure your mountains are spectacular! :)
from shrinkmeana :
I think about you as well .. I hope life has you smiling and feeling well.
from jiltedsoul :
Still as beautiful as ever. I'm glad your journey has led you here.
from ilovehereyes :
Ooops, its .. melissa / michael
from swimmmer72 :
I had 3 cats at one point, too. Eventually, they all passed, the oldest being just shy of 18 years old. I still miss them, but the more time that goes by, the less I feel like dealing with the downside of "pet stuff." Like with kids, I have family and friends with pets and I visit them when the urge hits. Much easier in the long run! :)
from swimmmer72 :
Well, Ravine Flyer is less than 200 miles away. Maybe if conditions permit, you could plan a road trip and come up and give it a try. I'm a firm believer than people should do the things they want to try. Hope southern PA is treating you well! :)
from wordwhore :
she's going to the dr today to see what they can find out. i checked around the internet and apparently it's not unheard of with eso-spasms, but still needs checking.
from mskindasorta :
I'm leaving diaryland, new journal is rebeckajane.blogspot.com xo
from comfuzzled :
Hi there! This is a notification to inform you that you have tied with your opponents in the category of "Best Diaryland Diary" and therefore have all won for the category! Please visit the following URL to claim your plaque: http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/7839/fightn4lifeua5.gif Congratulations!
from wordwhore :
nice to know i have something to look forward to =/
from irun4melissa :
Sandy, thank you so much for your kind message you left in my notes at my diary, I'm glad I'm I'm back writing and glad you're still here as well.
from irun4melissa :
Hi Sandy, it's Michael, I knew you from Diaryland a few years ago, I'm the guy that always was creating new diaries. (summersands, alostfriend etc. etc.) Anyways, I just wanted to say hello. I have a new diary now, if you'd like to read, just drop me an email at irun4melissa@yahoo.com I hope you are doing well my friend.
from catsoul :
So glad to read about how peaceful you are and that your life is going well. The scenery sounds breathtaking. Take care. =^..^=
from comfuzzled :
Congratulations! This is a notification to let you know you've been nominated in the category of "Best Diary: Diaryland" in the 2008 Comfuzzled Awards! The awards will be open to the public on July 29th and will run for two weeks before the votes are calculated. Good luck!
from barank :
just wanted to let u know i was thinking about u. i hope all is well and things r working out for u. drop a line if u get a chance, i'd like to know u're ok.
from swimmmer72 :
I'm sorry for neglecting to thank you for the slide-show you sent me. It was truly marvelous and inspiring, and I've watched it a few times already. I hope things work out for you as you work your way through these new trials and tribulations. Be strong, keep the faith!
from starhearts :
I have to agree that thinking more and living less really has not worked well so far...in fact I think so much I stopped living (I think LOL)...seriously though I did that for a while and over thinking and over feeling have really been interfering with my just relaxing and enjoying life...I stopped doing that a while back and find now it is REALLY hard to get back to it. John keeps asking Can't you just relax? Don't you EVER do that? ....the answer is always NOPE, when I solve the garbage and can feel like you are not coming and going in and out of my life, and I feel life is ok and more settled, then I will relax. Right now I need to clean up the garbage in my life. Then I have proceeded to stress myself and John out as I do just that..talk and talk and finally he gets upset and nothing is solved. Poor patterns...I want to fix it and he wants to avoid it. Ah well, otherwise, life is ok. I have a few days off to myself and hope to figure out somehow how to fill them with SOMETHING. Right now a full day ahead, it is early morning and I am ready to have a nap :) going to be a long day I think....HUGS! How do you stop thinking so much???? C.
from swimmmer72 :
I tried to do this in your comment section, but they thought I was a spammer! Thank God you get to keep insurance! I know there are things in place for people who have none, but it's even more of a pain than if you actually have it. Which is a pain anyway. I hope your guardian angel is watching over you the next few months!
from theumbrella :
Sometimes I read and just don't know what to say. But just know my thoughts are with you every day.
from mpeacock :
Oh yes, I was completely abandoned by my first husband. And now this, you bet I got abandonment issues. Probably why I put up with so much.
from wildguess :
wow, so i finally caught up with your happenings. (Didnt get much work done today, oh well). So much of what you have said sounds so true to me, sounds like something i'd say. Ive been feeling just like you did when my moods are all over the place. One second im ok, the next im in the pits. No, we're not crazy... All i can say is that I know you have the strenght to keep walking, keep moving forward. I can see it in your writing and in the strenght you give me when you leave me notes. Its in you....just trust that it is. Big hug. Sandra
from wildguess :
Thank you for SO much kindness. Your words mean the world right now when I feel so alone and lost. Its a weird feeling to waver between being ok and being in complete despair. But I know i am strong enough to get through this, I just wish the beginning of the end wasn't so difficult and hopeless. People like you make it that much easier though, and make me feel im not as entirely alone as I often feel. Please know I will keep you in my prayers as well, you are a tough woman who have gone through hell and back, a true inspiration and a source of strenght, even to a stranger like me. Thank you so much. Sandra
from shortst101 :
Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and sending you good thoughts and wishes. I wish so much that things were settled for you and that you knew where you were going, I wish the same things for myself as well. Big hugsssss to you Sandy.
from minstrelite :
Got your note -- I was writing to an older ritternet domain. I'll send you an email in a minute.
from minstrelite :
Hey Sandyz, it's me again. Just wanted to let you know that I'm reading, though not always commenting. Also I tried to send you a couple emails but they bounced -- did you change your email address?
from mpeacock :
She's the blonde one. I have many, many photos of me scattered through out the epic. I will eventually catch up on all yours too. Welcome to madame peacock in the billiard room.
from starhearts :
Hi Sandy..well this weekend I have been in tears 4 times, it is our 12th anniversary and last week he said that we haven't been married in years...this weekend he is here. My question to him is WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE IN MY LIFE? and will be asking him to answer that almost as a detached interview this end..I am not willing to date him anymore where he comes and goes again. He offered to help me a bit with financial issues, but he is offering $274 for my car payment ($200 of which HIS MOTHER who lives on a pention is giving him...) Have you ever heard of ETHICS>>>this guy has money thousands in savings in the bank...the more I realize he will never be straight up with me and honest the less I think I am willing or wanting to stay to be honest and frank. I don't think he treats me well anough for me to keep doing this to myself...sigh...sorry about your debt and I know exactly what it is like....HUGS sent your way..WE WILL WORK THOUGH THIS and in time Life will look good again, give me a year and I won't be in the mental space I am now that is for certain...you will be too...they can't take what they don't own from us..the love we have for ourselves and the genuine capacty to love other people. Something I think he never learned to be honest..so far I have seen the only person he can love is himself. I am not interested in that in my life...why would I be? HUGS C.
from tater-fay :
Thanks for your note! I hope that we both can find what we are looking for (even if it means crawling around in the dark looking for it):)
from dinahsoar :
This entry is just lovely.
from hanonly :
My Un & pass is still set the same, (tearsfrom on the UN) remember? I'll unlock it 4 now, I've got nothing much to hide actually.
from jiltedsoul :
You are a strong and beautiful woman. Your words of wisdom and encouragement are always an honor to receive. Thank you.
from fairygodmum :
Hi Fightn4Life... I saw you listed on Nicim's fav's. Hope you don't mind me adding you as one of mine. My email addy for the PW is: fairy_77godmother@yahoo.com Hope to hear from you soon. BTW... Good Karma is on the Way! Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum
from catsoul :
That is a great way to think about life! As for eating, remember I am only able to eat organic antibodic free chicken breasts baked in organic chicken broth, no added seasons. I eat less than 10 foods now due to some past colon and absorption issues. So I really can't eat out at a restaurant probably ever again. That is alright though, I eat to live now. Take care and you express your feelings so well. =^..^=
from wordwhore :
just wanted to let you know, in case you saw the lockdown that i am back open again.
from jiltedsoul :
Thank you for the note. I've caught up with you and it seems your life has been a bit chaotic as well. You are such a strong woman, hang in there. You're destined for greatness as I always knew you were. As for me, well, I dug my own hole and must get out of it alone.
from hanonly :
Well God Bless your cat for that one; & God Bless mine for running a muck through our house driving myself & my wife half insane.
from hanonly :
HEEYYYYA!! MY BAD! That last entry I put "The Show MUST GO ON", That one wasn't mine but has always been close to my heart, by looking at your music favorites you should remember it from Three Dog Night (remember it has ferris wheel/ circus music through it) any ways, thanks for any complements that you serve up, much is appreciated. Do you ever go on youtube.com and pull up some of the groups that you mention (or like this one) I found it to be a great way to connect with old lost favorites of mine. Oh! I almost forgot to mention, I seen Dr Wayne W. Dyer on your favorite books list, HOW COULD I HAVE LEFT HIM OFF OF MINE? I've admired that man and his giving for years now, I've recorded his shows onto DVD for myself as I couldn't afford to purchase them, I've watched them so many times and have gave copies to a few of my family members as Christmas gifts (I wonder if they ever watched it?) well, I know that I get lots from him every time I view or read his material; well, just thought I'd mention that, it's good to have that in common with someone,,,, better go add him to my list now:)
from hanonly :
I noticed that you don't lock your diary anymore, well, mine gets locked off & on, but I issued you the username & password that you gave me to get into yours; (tricky huh?)
from hanonly :
Soundz like U might need another "note" from me, letting you know that although I never new huge details about all your situations, I have in fact been praying 4 U & will continue 2 do so. God Speed fightinsandy;)
from chollaqueen :
Dear Sandy - I am glad you enjoyed my scribblings. Take my survey (it's silly) you'll cheer up a bit. My ex tried to sneak out one Sat morning after my father had just died from lung cancer.This was not a good choice on his part.And then he said that there was a wek left on the rent for the month - did he want me to stay. Oh yes please do, oleander tea all round. I might sound a bit crabby but that's ok. I'll be the little old lady whose house the kids run by screaming as I go to tend my 27 cats.:-) You'll make it, you'll see. After all, you've already seen the movie. As Winston Churchill said "Never give up. Never. Never. Never. Never" Here's to a life lived well!
from theumbrella :
Sandy! I agree with you completely about the art of conversation. I am glad you enjoyed my songs!:) I'm having a lot of fun with that player. You're right! You have a Father in heaven who is genuinely concerned for your welfare. With Him, you have nowhere to go but up!
from wordwhore :
no, her was walking...well, BEING walked down the hallway to the ladies' room by orange when this woman comes up "MIL! It's SO good to SEE you!!" and MIL's head started moving down coz she was not going to make it to the toilet and the idiot lady moved her own head down trying to maintain eye contact.
from theumbrella :
I just wanted to let you know that your layout is in my HTML editor as we speak and I'm doing a little spring cleaning for you:)
from pikachu1lt :
Hello my soul sister. I haven't been able to find your name and password so I haven't been able to check up on you lately. How are things going for you.
from shortst101 :
I have lost YOUR user name and password as well. Can you give to me again? I will give you Becka's if you want to email me? Shortst101@hotmail.com Hugssss to you
from hanonly :
Glad you liked The True Story. Is this beyond fate or what? When rough times come between my wife & I, It's easy for me to remember Gods hand in our relationship because of this. There's more things like these that have happened to me through my life, like; since 1990 I've always looked at the clock and it says 911, (that one really blew my wifes mind) so I put it in one of my promotional music videos in 1997 because it always happened, ya know, I just so happen to put N.Y. blowing up in one of the clips as well, scary huh? This gift has rubbed off on our second son too. Prayers 2 U Eddie
from theumbrella :
I locked up my diary. You can get my pw if you email me at cantaresempre at yahoo dot com or leave your e-mail and I'll send it to you:)
from morticon :
Hi! I just wanted to let you know that my diary will occasionally be found locked. This is not a permanent thing, and you are welcome to the password, simply email me at cantslayme@yahoo.com. You'll find my reasons for locking my diary once you've unlocked it. Thanks for reading!
from mercyh13 :
Hey there, my sister... I just want you to know that I'm proud of you for seeing how strong you really are. You will conquer all! I know this. I love you.
from minstrelite :
I have a funny feeling you might like my December 29 entry: http://minstrelite.diaryland.com/071228_29.html. Also, haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing?
from theumbrella :
I've lost your un and pw again! Would you e-mail them to me if you get a chance?:) Thanks, Sandy:) a t a r i f i s h @ y a h o o . c o m
from mercyh13 :
Stupid DiaryLand is starting to piss me off. I've contacted them twice and they are still not responding and still marking the posts to your blog as spam. GRRRR! Just want you to know that I'm in your corner always. I love you... my soul sister.
from h2odragon :
Have you deleted some posts or moved? Email me at summer_gale at yahoo dot com or leave me a note at h20dragon and tel me where you've gone to please. All the good stuff was ready to happen for you and suddenly it all stopped. I'm a little worried!
from mercyh13 :
My soul sister... I just wanted you to know that I love you. I'm here for you always.
from gr8chick :
I left you a comment on your second to last post as of today, 11/29. I hope I don't hurt your feelings, nor offend you. I care about you and only wish you the best! ***hugs***
from boann7 :
hello dear friend, lost your password. will you send it again. =)
from mercyh13 :
Hello, my sweet soul sister. I'm still unable to comment on your blog, but I wanted you to know that even in your aloneness, you are never alone. I'm always with you in my heart. I love you.
from nicim :
wanted you to know I'm writing again. still in a state of misery - so not much to say....but it will get better!! email me your user/pass....I'd like to catch up. nmahlandt@hotmail.com
from hanonly :
:)11/20/07 Getting in at a big corp. like Disney is great, we have nothing but time in this life we live, that is why we can't hesitate to quit the job or relationships that don't do anything much for us. If it's a job that's gonna pay-off enjoyably as well as financially in the long run then it's a job to be happy at today, don't worry along the way, one day at a time as you say; but one day at a time with all the worlds smiles.
from mercyh13 :
Hey you... Just want you to know that I'm so proud of you for making the trip and taking the plunge! Go to the beach now and enjoy! I love you!
from barank :
i'm just starting to catch up on my reading, but before i went any further, i wanted to tell u i'll be driving to Welaka, FL in december. i'll be there the 17-20. will i be passing u or near u? i'd love to have dinner or something. let me know.
from starhearts :
Hi Sandy...thanks...it is not going nearly as well as I had hopes of even as of this morning..he is "taking his slow time" which just says to me he really doesn't want an "us" very badly or not nearly badly anough to really make it work :( I hope I am wrong...but... In any case, I would love to read along in your diary but I don't have a password....I hope you are doing ok!!!! if you want to email me muffinourbunny@hotmail.com :) HUGS! C.
from hanonly :
:))) Lotz of smiles 4 U
from minstrelite :
I actually sent you the username/password a long time ago, and I'd thought you were reading all this time. I must have sent it to your ritternet address. I'll send it to your g-mail right now!
from shortst101 :
I don't even know how to read diaryland email! Can you email the information to shortst101@hotmail.com, please? Hugsss, have a good day.
from shortst101 :
can you please give me your information again so I can read you. Hugsssss
from hanonly :
Hey, thankx for encouragement. Now that I've been long outta high school I don't get to much encouragement anymore. Thankx again. Eddie
from hanonly :
Hey, It's me. Couldn't log into your diary with the user/password that you gave me. :)
from newschick :
thanks, although the entry wasn't about my cold...it's about my relapsing status. read the first sentence again. =) hope you're doing well
from swimmmer72 :
i hike once i get to wherever i'm going, but i'm definitely driving and/or flying to get there. i had tried a cross-country walk in my idealistic youth and gave it up after 24 hours (after a rainy night under a pine tree) and went back and got my car!
from minstrelite :
Hey Sandy, my personal life appears to be unfolding rapidly -- see my most recent entries (Thursday and Friday, as we speak...)
from pikachu1lt :
Hi my sister of the soul, I have misplaced your password and was wondering how you are doing I sent you an email to all three of the addresses I had for you but I don't know if you are using any of them still. I hope you still have my email and no I am not doing the greatest but then my email kinda said that... Let me know how you are doing... Leona you sister of the soul
from hanonly :
p.s. "what is this that you put (UN tearsfrom PW)?
from hanonly :
Can I now read from your life?
from hanonly :
Thankx 4 your sweet note, glad yoiu like the writing,,,, K.I.T.
from wordwhore :
hope you're doing ok. with the computer upgrade, i just realized that i've lost the pass to your diary. my email link is under "fan letters" on my diary (you just have to fix the anti-spam mods i made)
from miame :
Thank you for the notes!! You have it right...keep looking forward to that next chapter of your book of life. This one isn't any fun but the next one may hold more than you can imagine. You're going to make it through this. You're too strong not to!
from tater-fay :
yea, well, I was just glad the neighbors didn't wake up or see me standin' out there looking like a fool..haha!
from hanonly :
Well gee,,, I love your comments alone that you put so much time into on eveyone elses diary headings that I would just Love to actually see what you yourself have wrote. Pass?.... ;)
from wildguess :
Thank you for your note :O). I know what you mean about throwing caution to the wind. i did that once, thats why im so afraid to now... To me whats funny about all this is that he seemes to be proving me wrong ALL the time, with what he does, and proving me that my fears are more about my past than what im living with him. In a way im glad im afraid because it gives him the opportunity to prove himself. In all honesty im loving every minute of my time with him, and its hard for me to believe something like that can happen, given all the things ive seen regarding relationships.. Only time will tell, but for now, Ill keep making choreographies in the middle of a hispanic club with him not caring what people think of us. LOl its a riot! Take care Sandy, thank you so much for ypur kind words and your concern :O)
from shortst101 :
hey there Sandy....Sandy here...seems we both have lots going on in our lives. Can you allow me to read and catch up? I don't have your password. Hugssssss, hope you are doing okay.
from swimmmer72 :
Back online! I was actually only unplugged for about 3 hours, but I'm still scrambling to get things cleaned up, put back in place, and hooked up before furniture is delivered on Friday. Don't worry, I'm documenting with my trusty camera, and eventually, I'll get some pictures up. Good luck with your upcoming move! I know it must seem hard, but you are doing the only thing that makes sense. Think of it as a process; it might be easier than letting emotions into the picture. You are moving onto the next chapter of your life, simple as that. You do seem to be getting through it as well as can be expected. Just keep on hanging in there! :)
from newschick :
thanks for your comments, lover. they mean a lot to me. i'm doing okay..i just had a freaking drama breakdown yesterday...and got sad...stupid bipolar nature of mine. =) hope you're doing well.
from tater-fay :
I'm glad you enjoyed the entries on Ireland. There are more to come when time permits!! We DO have a lot in common!! Now, could I have a password so I could read YOUR diary??? Thanks:) You can email it to me at: taterfay@hotmail.com Thanks, Stacey
from miame :
Hey there! I sent you an email yesterday...I hope you get it!!
from f-i-n :
Thanks for reading my stuff. I am still feeling really depressed about everything lately and this is the only way I can deal with it.
from tater-fay :
Hi there! I took a survey (about women's roles and what we do for leisure) and found your answers interesting and I'm curious about your book. I would be honored if you would let me have a password so I could read your diary. I think we might have a lot in common, actually!
from miame :
Hi there! Can I get your un/pw? I sure miss keeping up with you! You can note me or email at turkey_lynn@yahoo.com.
from boann7 :
oh sandy..i just caught up a little paging backwards.. i feel like crying with you..i don't know why i was gone so long.. i think all the posts of grief here.. i was trying to get away from it.. we need to keep in contact. i will look for your email and write you. come ck out eons..i will not be renewing the gold thing here either.. but i think i will keep this diary.. it certainly is more private here for me anyway.
from virtualcrack :
lol, thx for the comment. It's true, that entry was spurred by many things and one was the great makeup advice I got last night from my male housemate. I've only known him a month but he sure does have some tight fashion sense! Not only did he tell me my lip color was unflattering, but he recommended an alternate shade. ^^ It's like living with Cosmo.
from boann7 :
hi there, ive been gone a while but still wondering about you.. can i have your password.
from f-i-n :
((smiles))....I have been sad lately and writing a lot.
from rebeckajane :
hi sandyz..i think you gave me your password before but i cant find it..can i have it again please? hope you are ok..hugs :)
from wildguess :
hi! thank you for your note! Yeah you're right, its so hard to trust again, but slowly im trying to not expect the worst of him...its so hard but im taking a conscious risk, with all the possibilities clear and i accepted it, so...here i go ;) I hope you got my email, id really love to see whats going on with you. Take care and thank you so much for reading! Sandra
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz. I know you sent me a password, but I lost it. I know you're going through alot right now and understand the need for locking it. My prayers are with you. Cassandra
from grt8f84me :
Hi, sweets! I closed the diary on wordpress. I just couldn't get used to it. This is my home, with my buddy's. My new diary name is gr8chick here on D'land. I wouldn't think of not having you walk with me through this craziness. Sorry I didn't respond to your note for grt8f84me earlier. I totally didn't think to go back and look. Anyways, I wish you the best! **hugs**
from classicrose :
Hey there i miss reading about your world too. Here are the keys to mine user: ohso pass: quiet
from sw-iowa :
Hey there, I'd like to check out your diary if that is all right. Thanks for leaving me the notes was nice to hear from you. Hopefully things will turn around for the both of us. Take care, Boyd
from virtualcrack :
ps can i have a password to keep reading your entries?
from virtualcrack :
you want to eat one what? u want to eat a pack of cigarettes? that sounds...undelicious.
from starhearts :
Hi Sandy...thanks for the note..you are not sounding all that happy these days and I miss you!!! HANG IN THERE and an EXTRA HUG!!!! Let me know if you want to chat muffinourbunny@hotmail.com is my email and msn.. TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!!! That is the most important thing you have! LOVE YA!!! C.
from wildguess :
wow....you have no idea how much better i feel after reading what you wrote on my notes....yeah, this self doubt is killing me, and killing the good times i have with him. Im sorry you're going thru such a hard time, but as you say, you can only grow from it. I wish i could read your diary, i sent u an email to see if you could send me a password but i guess u never got it, but just in case u dont mind, my email is cr8sea@yahoo.com. Id love to catch up on whats going on with you. And again thanks so much for such a compassionate advice, specially since you really know whats going on. Thank you!
from wildguess :
thank you so much for reading my crazy life and commenting on it. Funny thing is the only other person besides me that knows what is really going on with the whole thing is you. So, last note you said you agreed with what i was doing, did you mean me stopping or did you mean me just continuing (last two entries) id really love to know what you think...since ur well verse into whats going on Thanks so much!
from gr8chick :
Oh, how familiar I am with attempting to have conversations with a person when he's been drinking. Frustrating as hell, isn't it? I end up shouting thinking somehow this will help him understand the point I am trying to get across. Here's to hoping your heart will mend, sweetie! Keep your head up...
from starhearts :
Hi Sandy...my prayers are with you and then some and if you wish to talk you have become a good online friend who has supported me through..I am here :) TAKE CARE OF YOU and keep doing things for yourself that will again make your spirit bloom...HUG!!!! I will keep reading if you wish....but keep in touch regardless, ok? Christine
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Hi there. I'm finally able to catch up with all the friends I miss dearly, and I miss you! Can I have a password? amber@thedoughnutfairy.com
from media1001 :
Sandy, I have been reading your entries, but you haven't been writing. I actually understand what you are going through. Send me an email at plopphizz@gmail.com. You lost tough with me. I think I can help you, but you have to keep talking to me. -- Ploppy.
from pikachu1lt :
Sandy much to my surprise when I went to read your latest journal entry and could not enter into it. Please email me your password if you wouldn't mind doing so. Love Your sister of the soul Leona
from h2ophobic :
Thank you for your update. I've been worrying and praying about you. I was so glad to read that you're going home to your family. It's been a long, hard road for you. I hope your new path leads you to much joy and peace! God bless you and yours.
from newschick :
hey hun how's it goin?
from f-i-n :
happy 4th
from smedindy :
Ah, I'd still like the username / password. Thanks!
from musicman6724 :
I'm sorry I've been away for so long. If you want to share the password with me, I will be a faithful support in your troubles. I'll be thinking about you, either way. God bless you!
from comfuzzled :
Hi there! This is just a friendly reminder letting you know that you've been nominated for Most Inspirational Diary at the Second Annual Comfuzzled Awards hosted by Morticon's Cave! The voting will take place on July 29th. Until then we encourage you to let your friends know to vote for you! Visit our homepage to pick up a banner for your site!
from wildguess :
haha yeah i love her. Although she hasnt always said what i wanted her to say. Like when I asked about that guy i was so in love with. She told me it was never gonna happen, that he was into someone else and eventually going to leave. Well, just as she said, despite what it seemed at the time, he was interested in someone else, and is leaving for good in a few days. But this time around she said what i wanted to hear (as much as i doubted it) and im happy. :O) Thanks for the note, could u email me ur password? i havent been able to read whats up with you in a while. Thanks for reading!!! :)
from just2cusmile :
yes please email me your passwords-i hope your doing ok!!
from grt8f84me :
Ugh...I must have taken your password down wrong. I cannot get in. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you this morning. Hang in there! ;)
from kidneygurl :
Please send me the key; I care about you.
from grt8f84me :
Oh, my...I've missed so much! Please know that I wish you the best. I understand the need to lock down, but if you need someone to "vent" to...well, I'm always here for you my dear. If you are so inclined to share the password, you can e-mail me at sag63@hotmail.com. Take care, my dear. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
from wordwhore :
i can certainly understand why you wouldn't remember that you didn't give me the pass. be well. prayers for you and love.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz. Thank you so much for your lovely note. I am so sorry that you are struggling now with the ending of your marriage. It is such a painful process. Know that God is with you, carefully collecting your tears into His bottle. Let Him be your source. A scripture came to mind that has given me comfort in lonely times. I think it is Isaiah 54:5 ... "For your Maker is your Husband ... the Lord of Hosts is His name". Be well through this. You are not alone. If you'd like to give me the password to your diary, I could write more ... I'll also try the email address you gave me. Love in Christ, Cassandra (Dinah)
from crazyblueyes :
ahh! password protected! I miss your inspiring comments... will you come read my new blog? (and let me read your again?) <3
from h2ophobic :
I hope your new life brings you much peace.
from smedindy :
Yes, please give me the keys. Thanks!
from mreieio :
Thanks for your note, Sandyz. I'd be honoured to have the key to your world right now, but also understand the inclination to want to retreat. My email address is cjwh@canada.com if you want to send me the necessary passage info. In any case, take care of yourself and all good thoughts your way. Mr. Eieio
from wordwhore :
i'm sorry to hear things are so bad for you right now. my thoughts and prayers are with you.
from pink-circle :
Hey, what happened to getting up and doing something in The Circle!!!???
from grt8f84me :
Thank you so much for your note. I can only hope that Hombre now realizes what he's like when he drinks that much. Before he could always rationalize it away by telling himself I'm over reacting, or flat out lying about his behavior. I hope he's embarrassed by his words, and will make an effort to control his drinking. But as you and I know, these good days only last a short while. Soon enough he will forget what he said, and we'll be right back to where we started. I'm sorry your Mother's Day wasn't so great. You are a wonderful person, and deserve much more love and respect. Take care, sweetie!
from wildguess :
:) thank you so much for your notes. haha about my "man" i think we've both hurt each other already as it is, so im thinking is time to let that go. As for my mom, yeah im doing the best i can for her. Thank you so much for reading my ramblings, it means a lot :O)
from boann7 :
http://wolfs_moon.tripod.com/crowtotem.html this is the best teaching on crow wisdom. you will find it very interesting.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz! Thanks so much for your lovely response to my poem! I think I'm re-entering the Dyland atmosphere atom by atom! Love, Cassandra
from swimmmer72 :
thank you for your very supportive comment, as they always are. i agree with you about the mountains. living in the east, i can only long for my next trip out west where their beauty and sheer enormity leave me amazed. i've been up in rocky mt national park and seen the storms come in just as you described them. and then hurried down the mountain! your words are a pleasure to read. :)
from hollisterman :
Sure and thanks Sandy ..
from on-a-string :
Sandy! What a kind note; one that I needed so much to hear today! What a blessing you are in my cyber world!:)
from swimmmer72 :
OT has a way of sucking the life out of you, and long-term mandatory OT makes it even worse. i hope you get a break soon. the money is nice, but what is money if you have no time?
from boann7 :
hello dear friend... ive missed you.
from zuzus-petals :
Miss seeing your words around this place. What's been weighing heavy on your mind? - Zu
from swimmmer72 :
well, you and i have some similarities. about the same age, about the same work-load, about the same inner drive to deal with it all. so much so that we forget what is really important. staci was fun, and we had a mutual respect and appreciation for each other, just like what it sounds like you and your friend had. it sounds like work isn't the same for either one of us.
from h2ophobic :
I'm glad you're feeling better. I LOVE cleaning out drawers and cabinets...when I'm in the mood to purge. Especially when I feel that my life is completely out of control, cleaning "cleanses" me. I hope you enjoy your days alone - you deserve to pamper yourself!
from musicman6724 :
You are so sweet! Thanks for the encouraging note! People like you will keep me writing, no matter how frequent.
from boann7 :
yes dearest friend...the holidays loom big and as i see bits and pieces of holiday things... i feel the walls closing in...the thought of another holiday alone.. it crunches my lungs down to where there is no air. not alone as in with no one..i have family .. i won't be alone.. why does every thing this time of year seem about couples.
from sketty :
Thanks for clicking my banner and leaving me such a nice message. Heck, I'd be more than happy for you to add me as a friend :)
from minstrelite :
Hi, I've been meaning to let you know that my daughter finally called & we are reconciled now. We spoke for the first time in three months, and in depth. I'll tell you about it.
from miame :
Thank you for the birthday wishes! It's so awesome to have such a special day with my baby. I know today is special for you too! Happy 3 years smoke free!!!
from dinahsoar :
I'm so sorry, Sandyz. This is such a poignant entry. I have felt what you are feeling. I have written something so similar some years ago. There is life beyond this feeling. Turn to Him. Tell Him your heart. He is holding your tears in His bottle. You will survive.
from f-i-n :
I used to have a necklace that said, "Best Friends." It was shaped like a heart and split in half. I got the "Be Fri" slice and my friend took the "st ends." It was cool to see your picture of past and present....
from dinahsoar :
Thanks, Sandyz. That is my favorite entry of yours ever! I have a best friend I have known since age eleven. Every week we meet for Margaritas and amazing conversation. I loved your pictures!
from alongcameme :
Thank you for the note! It will be interesting to see what God has in store for me since the big "encounter" is over. :)
from minstrelite :
Very nice entry Sandy, about your time by the beach. Nice images, easy to picture.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz! What a lovely family you have! I've been away from Diaryland for just next to forever, but here I am back again. Good to re-aquaint with your gentle ways.
from just2cusmile :
my dad and his family is from PA-near Lancaster-his family still lives there too!! I love the Amish lifestyle and we had a great time visiting there last year!! I LOVE your new tattoo's very cute!!
from let-me-help :
Okay, I'm giving it one more try Sandyz ;) I don't know where it will take me, but that's alright :)
from zuzus-petals :
Heh.. we can all hang out in the psyche ward together! Let's have a party!
from minstrelite :
I read your note, and my feelings are likewise. I'm gladdened that my words at one point had a positive impact on your husband, whom I know also to suffer from bipolar disorder. I also read your recent entry, and I'm glad you never submitted the lengthy negative letter to that person. I've made mistakes in the past like that before, and on a job recently, when my feelings and pride were hurt by something someone did, and I felt I had to tell her about it in an e-mail. It almost never works to do that, and it didn't work in this case, either. She just never replied. And, let's face it--that e-mail could have been forwarded to her friends, to her husband, all going: "What do you think of this guy? What do *you* think I should do?" It could even have been forwarded to my boss! So it's always a good idea to refrain--or at least to pause until you know better how to address the situation. Sometimes, of course, you have to stand up and say something--but usually *not* right away. That's been my experience, anyway!
from boann7 :
hugs and warm thoughts to you dear friend
from fallen9angel :
I hope only the best fore your daughter. Thank you for your words. I accept my sins and would willing do them once more if given the chance. I accept my place in the here after, knowing that my sins could save anyone of the pain I have felt. I give my life to all that ask for it. I am just dust in the wind. Let it go to the most prepped person. p.s. singer is the best choice
from umademehappy :
Hi Sandy, just checking to see if you updated .. I'm up late tonight .. feeling a little of out sorts .. I suppose my surgery has me nervous .. that and I haven't been going to my support group meetings for my eating disorder .. I think I need a break from everything .. just not sure how to get there
from newschick :
hey friend, sure, add me! haha i'll add you too =)
from umademehappy :
Hi Sandy, not sure what diary I write in day to day .. and no worries .. I love to hear from you .. sometimes I just clean up some of them if I don't plan on using them .. sorry to hear about your trip .. that does stink .. if I was rich .. I'd send you the money ;) .. I'm glad swimmer72 is finding a lot of comfort in the diarylanders .. thats a good thing .. as my loss .. I was referring to that of my mom .. not sure if I mentioned that .. she died in Feb. 2003 .. my dad .. well .. I don't know how much longer he will be around .. his health hasn't been good for years .. we actually thought at one point her was going to pass .. before my mom did .. and now he out-lived her .. its strange ..
from absdietguy :
Inspirational Quote of the Day " Don't believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is illusion. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you'll see the way to fly." - Richard Bach, (Jonathan Livingston Seagull)
from swimmmer72 :
thank you so much for your ongoing comments and the mention in your entry today. i FEEL the prayers and love coming from you and deeply appreciate the support. today is day two, and little by little, we are coming to terms with dad's passing and preparing to move on. you HAVE been a help! good luck in your own journey; i hope your trip to florida is everything you need it to be! :)
from absdietguy :
"Inspiratioal Quote of the Day" Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia
from absdietguy :
"Inspirational Quote of the Day" Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. - Bernice Johnson Reagon
from absdietguy :
wish me luck .. I'm going to give it another shot Sandy .. you've inspired me ..
from swimmmer72 :
thank you, sandy, for your thoughts and support. faith will help us through this, just as the concern from d-land friends shows me that people do care. you are a good friend, and i appreciate the concern.
from imissfriends :
Sandy, thank you so much for the note you left me the other day .. I think I'm blessed to have met you through diaryland .. sometimes what you say is exactly what my heart needs to hear .. even if I don't always think I deserve it .. today I had a pretty good day with my son .. those days make it much easier to be me .. is ok to be me with him .. I love that feeling .. he makes me feel loved .. important .. like a dad should feel .. he's a really special little man and I'm lucky to have him in my life .. I'm going to try and concentrate more on our time together .. its when I'm my happiest (kind of like how I felt when I was with my old friend).. maybe it to is part of God's plan .. maybe he's the reason .. maybe he's the guy that will help me learn its ok to be me .. as I am .. and that he's not judging me .. and if he's not .. the person who I love most (him) .. then everything else shouldn't matter quite as much as I think it should .. and that I can always count on him (cause he loves me unconditionally).. maybe by accepting his love .. it will help me see myself and help me trust people again and maybe someday .. have experience some wonderful friendship again .. friendships where I can love again .. I've missed that .. I once thought that that was a big part of who I was .. I love to love .. I want to get back to that place .. I suppose I just need to be less critical with myself (which hard to do) .. and maybe I will find myself (the old me) .. along lifes travels .. Thanks again .. You're a truly an angel .. Your friend, Michael
from rachel-green :
its just me .. trying to find a comfort zone ...
from swimmmer72 :
#1580 kitty's day. :)
from swimmmer72 :
thanks for the comment! check out my entry from last year's celebrateErie; i did a whole pictoral on one specific chalker with 5 pics as it developed. i think you might like it if seeing something take shape is something you've never seen. :)
from musicman6724 :
On "Have you ever..." I was starting to wonder if I had written that. I experience most of those things almost every day. Is it encouraging or discouraging to know that you're not alone in this?? Hmmm....
from minstrelite :
Sandy, that was a great banner (the one that reads "you will never catch me smoking unless I'm on fire.")
from grt8f84me :
Thank you for understanding, and not judging...Have a wonderful weekend, Sweetie!
from f-i-n :
Vizcaya is my castle in the city. It's hwere I go to escape and dream. I hope that you have a place of your own (even inside your imagination)
from boann7 :
thanks, it would be fun to exchange ideas on painting. i don't know a lot about oils. a friend of mine talked about watercoler in a way that speaks to me.. he said watercolor makes no pretension to perfection nor eternity. i suppose that is how i feel about it too. done on paper and so fragil. too much attention and its ruined. the brush strokes always a bit imperfect and unreal. there is always some ethereal quality about them.
from lovemyfriend :
Hi Sandy, thanks for the note .. your notes always are appreciated (and very comforting) .. I posted a response to your comment the other day in my diary .. in case you wanted to read it .. I ended up sending that letter .. I did so in May .. unfortunately I never heard back from her ...
from boann7 :
funny how you think one minute you are not writing about sex and the next minute you realize it looks like you are.
from boann7 :
you really are my emotional sister aren't you...hugs.
from morticon :
Hi, this is Morticon of Morticonís Cave, here to tell you that you have been chosen as a nominee as part of the First Annual Comfuzzled Awards. You are competing against 1 other person. The category of your nomination is : Best Diary, Literacy . The categories will be placed up on Saturday the 29th and held here: http://morticon.diaryland.com/1ACA.html . In the meantime, you are invited to tell your friends about this award gathering so that they can vote for you. Nominees with the most votes will win the category. Information is available here: http://morticon.diaryland.com/1ACAinfo.html . Good luck!
from boann7 :
hugs
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Thank you. xoxo
from alongcameme :
Thank you for the note - I'm doing better... Thanks for taking the time to leave that when you have so much going on in your own life. Take care of yourself and I'll include you in my prayers.
from morticon :
CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's wonderful news, that poem deserves every award offered to it :-D
from hbaybee :
http://www.sing365.com/music/Lyric.nsf/Mr-Raven-lyrics-MC-Lars-Horris/13E1A10FD434FC2748256EED000C0F12
from dinahsoar :
Thank you, Sandyz. You are yet another angel visiting me today. Your words are His balm. I thank you.
from h2ophobic :
Gasp! I can't believe how much you and I look alike! If you had short brunette hair...we could be sisters. Your girls are beautiful, I love how happy you all look.
from h2ophobic :
Isn't God amazing? Just when we think we can't take one more step, He gives us the strength and then makes it better. Good for you for having the courage to talk to HR!
from zuzus-petals :
CONGRATS!!!!
from zuzus-petals :
Ah, she'll be fine. Thanks for your words and well-wishing. You know how I dote on her, and she's a flare for the dramatics.. so we're a right fine match! This too shall pass and become part of the legacy of our relationship that makes it closer to the ground. - Zu
from nicim :
6/18 - that's me on the left. I was/am the oldest. I think i was just a bit over three there. XXOO N
from aliannmil :
In my usual brief style that is the entire poem. I have a tendency to be short and sweet. I'm working on a ramble and so I haven't been to the site, I'll go check it out.
from boann7 :
hugs ......you out did yourself on this poem dear.. its naked and raw.. i love it.
from aliannmil :
You reminded of me a poem I wrote a long time ago ~Thunder reverberates so that we who live in darkness may God's subtle answer hear.~ There was a time...
from livingwreck :
Yeah, I've just about had enough of the whole book/movie/clothes/toys/posters/dvd-video tie in that seems to occur with every Hollywood movie these days. It's why I much prefer independent/foreign films. Well, that and the fact I think their much better. Hope all is well with you.
from virtualcrack :
time on earth is the ultimate gift. That and free plastic surgery.
from on-a-string :
Hi there! Thank you for your compliments!:) I can't wait to see:) BTW, working on your template as we speak. I have two days off!!!!! This hasn't happened in FOREVER!!!:) YAY for me and your template!
from h2ophobic :
Scary! I CANNOT stand being around violent people. I had a boss once that thought it would be OK to put his hands on my shoulders and give me a little shake while we were arguing. He didn't hurt me, but I made sure he knew that if he ever put his hands on me again, my husband and sons would cut him into little pieces and bury him all over MT. I didn't stay there long after that, I actively began looking for a new job. When I gave my notice, he said "I just realized that if I'd treated you better, you wouldn't be leaving." I told him "You're right." Sometimes people just blow up, but somehow you may have to let him know that you will not allow that type of behavior. Or God may lead you to a better, peaceful job where you can enjoy your work AND feel safe. God bless.
from boann7 :
yes id love for you to send me the yoga info =)
from pikachu1lt :
Your tagged read my blog
from zuzus-petals :
You're tagged, read my blog. - Zu
from funda :
of course I don't mind, though funda is on hiatus at the moment, but thanks much :)
from zuzus-petals :
I think you'll be glad you did. Bring tissue. - Zu
from yarnsmith :
Hello, I have been absent from dland for a while and just now noticed your lovely note. I have read through a few of your entries also and am enjoying the poetic way your express yourself. Thanks for stopping by and I'll continue to come visit your site also. Paula
from boann7 :
oh and do get those paints out .. they are calling to you.. don't you hear them =)
from boann7 :
we really do have parallel lives don't we. are you my lost twin. =)
from zuzus-petals :
Honestly, and I don't say this often, I think that film would lose impact on a small screen. It's NOT that it features big explosions or special effects - it's really very "unhollywood" in that regard. I'd vote for big screen on that one. Ed and I were talking about this very issue this afternoon, as he opted not to go, thinking he wouldn't enjoy it. he pondered waiting until it came out on DVD... I'll say the same thing to you as I did to him - that is, I'm not sure it's worth seeing on DVD, it really is a film, it really is meant for the big screen for the full effect. - Zu
from h2ophobic :
Your entry was so beautifully worded. So true, yet hopeful.
from missmaggie03 :
thanks for you kind words sweetie, they mean a lot. I'm not doing much better right now, but maybe I'll get there...you can drop an email to me at leah_m25@yahoo.com
from boann7 :
ive been thinkin im up for a visit to the lunny bin any day now... but so far im a few yards ahead of the guys in white suits ;)
from dinahsoar :
Thank you, Sandyz. Your beautiful words touched me deeply. You are such a gracious and lovely person.
from h2ophobic :
I've added you to my buddy list...I hope that's OK
from on-a-string :
Oh, I am so glad I didn't offend you! You are truly one of my favorite diarists!!!:) Thank you for your kind, wonderful words. I appreciate them.
from thisismywish :
It's coming along...but, I thought I added you to my new profile. I made an entry about my move and I tried to move everyone to my new profile. I may have missed you on accident?:( I'm sorry.
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Thank you for the note you left me. I am always surprised when I find someone that thinks like I do. My catholic s.o. always chuckles when I make the sign of the cross one minute, then talk about Karma or channel chakras the next. :p
from breatheasigh :
hi sandyz..i sent you an email..hope you are feeling better :)
from on-a-string :
Thank you! Wanted to let you know I am working on the template as we speak:)
from boann7 :
i love what you wrote for arc-angel. it just made me all misty eyed so many of the thoughts i remember feeling too.
from boann7 :
yeah, i think the people without baggage just don't exist.. except maybe in their own inflated heads. they would not be anyone i would want to be with. probably so full of themselves. just looking for some trophy wife to parade around.
from starhearts :
Hi Sandyz :) Just dropped in and read for a bit..great to hear that your meeting with Alison went well :) NEAT! Anyways I am back in the land of the living and things are going well (not perfect but good).. so I have unlocked and am back to say hi :) Hope life is good to you!!! C.
from boann7 :
thanks dear for the note. i always look forward to reading your comments. =)
from swimmmer72 :
IF you ever ARE late because of either me or one of my stories, just let me know and i'll write your boss an excuse! thanks for the comment-you are very gracious! :)
from thisismywish :
Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I *Just* read your e-mail today! (yikes) I will get right on that after dinner:)
from h2ophobic :
I'm just checking in to say hi. Your granddaughter is breathtaking. P.S. I really enjoy your poems...are they written by you?
from breatheasigh :
hey sandyz..she is gorgeous and such a beautiful smile :)
from radiogurl :
Thank you for your note on my diary - I think I need to come back and read more of yours. What a wonderful testament to faith!
from alongcameme :
Thank you so much for you kind message - it put a smile on my face!
from breatheasigh :
hia sandyz :)..sorry it's taken me a little while to respond..i've been a little distant from my diary for a couple of reasons..first let me say you guys have amazing smiles! you remind me so much of an american woman my mum befriended 25 years ago when they were side by side in hospital and became lifelong friends :) ..now i am hesitating here because i don't want to be wrong (lol) but i would probably say she is a few years older than you..am i right?
from thisismywish :
I love when doors like this open! :-D
from f-i-n :
That's awesome. I'm so glad that people like you exist....
from f-i-n :
Animals are everything to me. I can't understand why someone would hurt them. I hope you saved that poem that you wrote. Don't ever stop dreaming and writing...
from starhearts :
HI Sandy...thanks for the note :) You have a wonderful cheerleading attitude to life and a great smile! I love the pic of you and your sister :) THANKS!
from boann7 :
yeah i wasn't too crazy about being told i was dependant either.. hrumph =)
from chaosdaily :
all you need is raw dough for the bread, before its raised (proofed). chop the dough into smal pieces, and mix the pieces with a raw egg. scoop it all into the pan, and proof and bake it. i dont know why people like it, but they do. i dont argue with what sells!!
from boann7 :
sandy, i have heard over the years people ask me "why" ... its something no one understands until they live abuse. why one stays. its not always because a person is weak unable to leave.. sometimes its because a person is too strong to give up.
from meg-in-love :
Haha. I'm not headed to Germany anytime soon. I just took the quiz because a friend of mine in Germany made it.
from miame :
still no words....is it just me?
from boann7 :
i do try to listen to those inner voices. esp when they scream as loud as that one did. angels watching over us.. certainly.
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Thank you for your words of encouragement and your prayers. I read the entries you referenced. I know it's an uphill battle for those of us facing that demon...one I'm determined to win.
from crazyblueyes :
thanks, i liked it too. because i feel like life is flying past me.
from afraidtobeme :
Your notes are always so thoughtful, I wish everyone were as generous with their heart as you .. you've got a huge heart.
from typennington :
sandyz, I just wanted to say thanks for the notes you have left me, your words always make me feel good .. your new layout for your diary is beautiful as well ..
from zuzus-petals :
Love your new layout.. many kudos to beth - awesome job!
from minstrelite :
Checking in. Haven't heard from you in a long time.
from f-i-n :
sending hugs to you
from boann7 :
we sure do have a lot in common.. thanks for the sweet note. you are such an uplifting person. always spreading nice thoughts around.
from candoor :
I'm hoping for more good news from your head... and the beautiful poetry from your heart... and thank you for the supportive words you leave for me... I don't say it often enough, but you a a great inspiration for me :)
from noelanii :
Hey, I am really happy to have you as a reader. I am sorry that I haven't visited sooner, but I do want you to know that I appreciate you reading my journal and I appreciate the input that you give me. I would love to talk to you sometime!
from boann7 :
sandyz thanks for the note. that really lifted me up. =) be gentle with yourself. recovery from an accident like that takes time.
from miame :
I hope that you know that I appreciate all of your kind, encouraging notes! I have been terrible about updating and even worse about getting back with the folks that stop by. Baby Charlie is doing great...and from Charlie to Nikki is a big leap :). If our poor baby is a girl she's going to be nameless because I just can't decide what to name her. I lean heavily toward Holly Jeanette....but on the other hand I would love to name her Jeanette after my grandma....there is just no middle name. Best for last....I sure hope so!!
from lovemyfriend :
Sandyz, I liked your poem to much, I sent it to a friend of mine. I hope you are well..
from dinahsoar :
Thank you so much for your prayers, Sandyz. You are one of a kind, too. Your writing is inspiring and laden with a deep faith in the Lord. Even looking at that painting of the woman on the horse always lightens the load. May the Lord bless and keep you.
from dinahsoar :
Oh, thank you, Sandyz (and especially for referring to my diary as a "book" - that is what I'm hoping for). It means alot that it is touching your life. Thanks for those regular sojourns into my "world". I appreciate your comments (and your diary, too) alot.
from dinahsoar :
Life through rear windows ... that touched me. Your poem is beautiful.
from fluttrbykiss :
Thank you so much for the beautiful note... You can't imgine how much it means to have someone *care*... huuggss...
from summersands :
you're an angel ;)
from dinahsoar :
They ARE walking among us. They are us. Thank you for your note. I can't tell you what it means to me that you are musing about my characters and caring for them. You are beautiful.
from dinahsoar :
Just beautiful, Sandyz. Inspiring, comforting, challenging, beautiful.
from brdwaybebe :
God bless you honey!
from mreieio :
Thanks for all your kind notes, Sandyz. I hope things are improving for you. Mr. E
from absdiet4life :
Sandy, thank you so much for your kind heart, I wish more people were like you. You make people feel as though they have real value, at least thats the way I've felt.
from dinahsoar :
Your beautiful heart is a beacon.
from fluttrbykiss :
Sandyz, Thank you so much for the beautiful note you left me... You are too kind... I never thought of my writing as anything other than letting of some steam... :o) {{{Huggss}}}
from malthus :
Forgot to thank you for stopping in...thank you. Yeah...I'd like to bottle that kiss and take a drink every so often.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz, Your words always find a calm place in my soul. You are beautiful and courageous.
from absdiet4life :
I love your entries, they are always so honest, I get everything you say to .. you are such a good soul.
from myownjourney :
Thanks for the really nice note. I'm planning on being a quitter myself one day and if all goes well a mountain man too. :)
from opheliafic :
Thank you so much for stopping by and reading over my past entires, I hope you visit again soon. Keep up your fight against smoking.
from dinahsoar :
Sandyz, Your capacity for unabashed gratitued is such an ispiration! I rejoice in your blessing!
from malthus :
Thank you...more kindred spirits...more friends...more encouragement. This is a wonderful place to grow. Thank you.
from dinahsoar :
At this church I used to go to, Pastor Mel said that "if you can contain it, it's not God". So, I thought your insights were very profound. I trust those who are asking questions much more than those who profess to have all the answers. I love what you said about Jesus, that He provided the testament to undying love.
from revisions :
thank you so much for adding me...sorry it took me so long to respond. i just got back into the country yesterday. look forward to reading your diary!
from dinahsoar :
I Sandyz. What a great idea to literally count your blessings. I especially loved the one about encountering angels in different forms. Oh yeah ... I've always been intrigued & meaning to ask you ... what is that picture of the woman on the horse. I LOVE it! It gives me the most "peaceful, easy feeling" each time I see it.
from dinahsoar :
Hi dear Sandyz, Glad to be the channel through which your own soul whispered words to soothe and guide you. Take very good care!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz. I'm gonna tell you what you so generously told me when I needed to hear it ... that sometimes writing helps ease the pain. On the other hand, I know that you know better than anyone else your unique pacing and what is best. So, I will miss you while you are away & selfishly hope you return soon. Take care!
from aliannmil :
Sandy, I appreciate your friendship and the loving support you have always provided me. I will weather this storm as I have the one's in the past, hunkered down and sure in the knowledge that this is temporary. I have lived in your twilight world by work necessity (midders we called it) and by illness (sleep is often denied to the mentally ill). There is a special sense of lonliness reserved for the nightshift worker (if you have never seen the movie Nightshift rent it, henry winkler, shelley long and introducing micheal keaton). Thinking of you too. ~alison
from dinahsoar :
What a beautifually evocative portrait you painted. It engaged all my senses, filling me with a sense of peace and calm and the assurance that everything is unfolding as it is designed. Thanks!
from luminence- :
You know, I really appricate that you acknowledge me as a person. Light and dark times will always fluctuate...but in the end I still am who I am; I will not succumb to any kind of abyss. However, I am not very religous as of this moment in time...not that I do not hate God or Christianity in any way, but I was not brought up without a religous background, and therefore, as of this moment, am atheist. It's the logicists inside of me that refuse to let me see-however, I am very open, and maybe, maybe one day I can confide the way you do. Thanks again, Sandyz.
from luminence- :
Oh nonexistant lantern, shine your light through the dark, twisting, and vague pathaways through my clouded teenage mind!
from mreieio :
Hey, Sandyz, thanks for the kind note. You're very thoughtful. P.S. I really like your new page format.
from cccsgut :
We rescued ours too, I am VERY happy about it :) Their father Nightshade, our previous cat, was killed by Animal Control, so we adopted their sons and graddaughter, hehe.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sandyz, That was just beautiful! So relaxing. I am honestly thinking of getting myself a plastic pool (I actually talked about one in an earlier entry) & a float & trying my hand at listening (something I rarely actually achieve). Thanks for the wonderful model of tranquility. I just might get me a Yoga DVD, too (imitation being the sincerest form of flattery). And, yes, the best part is turning it all over to our Lord. Thank you for the mind vacation today as I sit at my desk.
from dinahsoar :
Thank you so much. I especially liked what you said about finding God in the silence. I appreciate your interest and support.

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