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portia69 : |
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I read your last entry, dump your boyfriend, clearly he isn't making u happy. xx portia
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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We actually did have a margarita party, but with rum. You couldn't actually taste the rum though, so it was good. :) I got wasted that night. [that's sad. I'm only 17] .....Um...I just yelled DAMMIT! And I'm in class.....the teacher hasn't said anything though...ooooooooopsie.....Um. Oh yeah...hm...Ya know, I had already started thinking about what I was doing, and wasn't going to do it. I mean, I put the mother fucking pills back in the goddamn bottle, ya know? It's just bullshit....Yeah, I'ma try to do a quick entry now. ♥
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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I loooooooooooove vodka. Never had much tequila. Hate beer. And rum. I love how it makes you feel, and quick, but the taste...DISGUSTING. Anyway, yeah. ♥
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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:'(
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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www.myspace.com/ooh_sharp_objects Why???
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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Me and Haley almost broke up. I haven't told anybody on here exactly what happened, b/c they'll either freak out, or tell me I overreacted....She's got some anger problems. I played a little joke on her and she laughed, but got mad....She said if I ever do that again, she might get really mad, and might hurt me really bad....Her meds aren't right. It's obvious. I know she'd never hurt me on purpose. But I told her "Regardless of whether it's on purpose or not, I can't stay with you if you ever snap and hurt me." I was crying my eyes out...It's just that...I don't want to lose her. I CAN'T lose her. I couldn't make it if I did. I probably just overreacted. I'm so good at that. But...I've been through this my whole godamn life, ya know? Just never with someone I LOVE, especially like THIS....But we'll be ok. We had a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong talk. We're ok. I get it that she'd never do it on purpose. [call me naive, but I don't believe that I am. I just KNOW Haley.] BUT ANYWAYSSSSS. I guess I'll shut my fucking face now.:P ♥ you muchisimo.
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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Ya know, I just read the last note I left you. And I realized...I STILLLLLL HAVEN'T SEEN A FUCKING PICTURE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!! I'm glad you updated. ♥ And fuck Liz. Sorry, that's mean, but still. If she's your FRIEND, she shouldn't fucking do that. Who the fuck wants to hang out with their fucking EX instead of their best friemd?!!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Rawr. *hugs* Sorry she's being a bitch.
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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Hahaha, almost forgot. You're crazy, I tell ya, CRAZY! I'm so ungorgeous it's not even FUNNY anymore! But thank you for the compliment. It made me blush a bit. :) ♥♥♥ [and I really wanna see a pic of you...]
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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I'm glad the note made ya happy. :) And I've figured out by now that you don't have loads of time to fuck around on a computer like I do, so it's totally cool about you not getting to reply super fast. It's just a rarer treat than I'd like. :) Totally off subject, but...I cut my ankle shaving earlier and it HURTS! *breaks razor* :P Yay! It's great that you had a good break. Always nice to have a good time. :) Aaah, I'm sooooooooo happy that tomorrow is Friday! This week has been so fucking slow, and stressful as hell. How's your week been? [whichever week that you get to reply to this :P] Yeah, well. I'll shush now. ♥
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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You do this because you got used to it, and it's really fucking hard to stop. But just because you slipped doesn't mean that you won't ever be able to stop completely. You WILL. Good luck with the cigarrettes and shit. :P ♥
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ethereal-red : |
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Slips happen. Pick yourself up and begin again. Congratulations on giving up some unhealthy habits (I must admit I love diet soda, and giving it up would be tremendously difficult for me).
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portia69 : |
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He was black and white, very young and very cute, he ran away though,so no more smiles for me. Thank you for reading darling, ( i still have my cat, shes 10 and a persian)
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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=D I feel soooooooooooooooooooooo much better now. [[Aside from the fact that with as much as I'm coughing, I could very well cough up a fucking lung anytime now.]]...You wish I'd take better care of myself? Why though? Thank you for caring...I'm just not so sure that I understand why you care about me. =S Soooo. I...I just feel stupid for wanting MY mom. My mom is just, well, not much of a mom. She uses me, lies, says really mean things...But for some reason sometimes I still want her to just love me. It makes me feel kinda weak, ya know? Hm. Ugh! I'm so jealous! I wish it'd SNOWWW here!!! Well, we've actually gotten some flurries today. This is only the second time that's happened so far though. ='( I'm really glad your classes are going well. I hope it keeps going this way for you. ♥♥♥
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portia69 : |
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I like you
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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sorry it's taken me an eternity to reply! Eeew. Colds suck!! I hope it doesn't turn into a fullblown monster of one! :) I hate people. I hate people at school, especially. There all big, dumb hicks. Total homophobes. They think they're funny. They think they're amazing. And they're not. Urgh! Anyway. You're a sweetie. Thanks for being so nice. I'll thank you everytime. :) *sigh* ok, I'm gonna go now. Take care, babe. ♥
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pollys-pins : |
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I have to say I feel the same way about getting my period this month :) x
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failedhello : |
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hey! i'm happy for you.
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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Haha, you're one of the very few people that'd be happy about getting your period. :P Kidding, I know why you're happy. =D Thank you so much for being sweet! That was so nice of you. *hugs* I know, she loves me so much, even though I really don't see WHY. I'm trying so hard for her. I just wish idiots at school would lay off. It's none of their business if we're together... ='( Urgh. They make me stressed out and I turn to bad stuff because I don't really know how to handle things. Anyway. I'm much better today. :) Thank you so much. How about you? Are you doing ok? ♥
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failedhello : |
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hey, i just read your latest entry. i'm crossing my fingers for you. i've been in that position many times before, and i'd say the best thing is not to wait any longer and just take a preg test.
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miedema2002 : |
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Thanks for listing me as a favourite. I like your diary and I can relate to the whole cutting cravings after a long recovery period. Ironically it's what I'm battling right now lol! Take care and I will add you too.
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enurta : |
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i know how you feel. and it's not your fault...just try and think about the people that you love, like your sister, your mom and your bf. everything will be alright <3
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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yeah, i'm feeling MUCH better!!! my friends were really upset... but they're...ok at least. i was really scared. but things are ok now. :) thanks for the note. <3
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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ps: have you read the luckiest little girl in the world? it's by the same author.
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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well, i'm really glad you didn't do it. :) it's so shocking because they were nice, happy people. they had everything going for them. had they just stopped and thought....they'd still be here. *sigh* um. actually, i'm feeling worse. =S i can hardly open my mouth at ALL now. i took a percocet a while ago and i'm about to just pass out. but i've been up for a total of...about 8 hours today. i want to stay up a little longer....and i have to take a seroquel later. bleh. ugh....so how are you? :) ♥
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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So I don't know if you read it or not, but another boy hung himself Saturday. =S and a girl shot herself. But she didn't die, thankfully. I'm worried though. I STILL don't know who she is! It's driving me crazy. I want to know if it's someone that I know or someone some of my friends know...Well. All the churches I've gone to...just...I don't know. The idea of "God" just seems so ridiculous to me. I don't really know...just. I mean, I know it's a possibility. But, it makes more sense that he ins't real. But I'm probably wrong. Hm. Thank you so much for the congrats for me and Haley. :D I love it when people are like that instead of being like "Ew." or "That's WRONG! You're not supposed to be with someone of the same sex!!!" :) Thanks...Aw. That's another thing I love: when people call me sweet. Even though I can be a major BITCH. :) But hey, if you're nice to me, I'm nice to you. :D Ok! I'll be waiting for another note! It makes me really happy when I get notes from people. :) I'll go now. Thank you for all the sweetness! :D ♥
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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:D cool! i bet you'd be a great one. aaw. you're boyfriend sounds sweet...maybe you kinda broke down because...well, being stressed and then boom! happy, good, it kinda gets to ya. your nerves are just like bleh... :P why do you feel fake? hmmmm??? :) ♥
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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i don't think it's ever possible to get over losing someone like that. i think it just gets harder the longer you have to be away from them. i'm sorry. ♥
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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did i forget to give you the new one? sorry! the username is stay and the pw is out. :) you're welcome! ♥
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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korn kicks serious ass! :)
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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it doesn't make you a bad person or anything just because you can't try to listen to them and their problems. you just can't try to pile theirs on top of yours. it would just make you even more stressed out. and eventually you HAVE to talk to someone, like going to the counseling center. you can't just keep letting things get worse and worse. it'll end up breaking you down completely. well, good luck with everything. i really hope things start looking up soon. ♥
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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so i changed my pw, if you care. ;) stay; out
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xxplaydeadxx : |
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dead and dead. =) yeah it's cool. i loooove for people to read my diary. makes me all happy. ;) so i've read quite a bit of your diary. i really like it! and i feel the same way: i wish i didn't miss cutting. but i do, when i stop doing it for a while. i think i can do it, then boom! i crave it. =S *sigh* well, enjoy my boring diary! =)
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figmentatus : |
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Hey hun, I too wish I didn't miss it, but unfortunately I do... though I probably will never take it up again, I do miss it
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emaciana : |
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thanks for your sweet note!
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xself-imagex : |
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my new diary is: lightgrey
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emaciana : |
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that poem was really amazing. i'm going to put it on my site if you don't mind.
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forget--hope : |
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"because they're mine and I don't want the whole world to see them." beautifully written.
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emaciana : |
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yes, i know exactly what you mean.
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emaciana : |
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i know the feeling. being so lethargic you can't get out of bed. the simplest things seem to take so much effort... yep... it sucks.
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ethereal-red : |
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I know the feeling of being tired of everything, of breathing, of living. I would rather curl up in a ball and die instead of live another day in the state I am in. I'm even tired of being tired. I cling to the hope that some day things will be different... worth waking up for in the morning.
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floaty-ana : |
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hey i just noticed you had me in your favorites, just wanted to say cheers!
hope your well xxx
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simplyrayne : |
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Thanks, I hope all is well with you xx
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emaciana : |
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hope your christmas was okay, and i'm looking forward to reading whenever you're ready to write. take care. tia
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emaciana : |
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good luck with your math!
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hungryfuck : |
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Thank you very much.
I appreciate the note lots!
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iamafatgirl : |
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I somehow get the distinct feeling that I know you from somewhere...do I?
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just-fine : |
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I could have written those words myself. Thank you for the favourite add, i have done the same. Please try to take care x
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emaciana : |
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sweet! i've been trying to leave a note for so long and now you've finally turned them on. anyways, my bf and i have been together for the same amt of time as you and your guy have. we said "i love you" 2 months into the relationship b/c it just felt right. i'm not sappy either, but with him, it seemed right. do what makes you comfortable and don't worry - "someday" will come.
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iamafatgirl : |
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yay! i get to pop your note cherry! well, that's that, and thanks for the add! i hope you enjoy reading about my dramatic life. well, later!
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