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messages to harri3tspy:
(click here to add new message):

from teranika :
ok, that just sounds horrible!!! I don't want to spook things, but it sounds like things are moving forward in the right direction without our having to rent a house for three months!! And yet, harriet, you always seem so calm.
from misspinkkate :
Thank you!
from misspinkkate :
Interesting, thanks for the tip! If it comes undone after my tuck job, I'll be sure to try it.
from harri3tspy :
Yay! That makes me happy.
from teranika :
It will also be a very sad day when she outgrows that wonderful red-striped sweater! And this morning we sat up in bed and played with the wind-up teddy bear in the box. She loves that one, too.
from misspinkkate :
Thanks for the birthday wishes!
from annanotbob :
Thank you Harriet. Your words meant a lot (well, after I'd wept a bucket and a half of 'I am not worthy' sort of tears). If only I could find it, 'The Depression Workbook' is fabulous and I would recommend it to your friend. Lots of practical suggestions. All the best, Anna
from teranika :
Thanks for that lovely and reassuring message. I imagine that my experience will be the same as yours in that I will - ultimately - savor the time away. And, it will make me enjoy Susi even more.
from teranika :
That's an interesting perspective - the idea of ownership of one's music. Susi will have jazz (from mom) and Brueckner (from dad) "forced" upon her all of her life. I've always imagined that she would find her own music, but it's interesting to think that baby dvds might influence her choices so early on.
from harri3tspy :
The whole Baby Einstein industry creeps me out. But the fact is that some of their stuff works. We liked the Baby Bach video especially. But AJ really loved some of the more art oriented ones when he was a little older -- Baby Van Gogh was a particular favorite. The thing I think is most interesting is that because of Baby Bach, Bach and Mozart is music he thinks of as his music, not as our music that we force on him. He still is more inclined to put on Walk Like an Egyptian and dance like a maniac, but he has a sense of ownership about that music that he learned early that I hope will stick with him.
from teranika :
You see, I'm thinking that this type of recognition might be worth it. I'll just have to convince K that it they are probably better than watching D1sney or television. Heck, I was fascinated...
from teranika :
Yes, Seeger talked about his parents and their work in musicology in the interview - it was wonderful! Oh, and thank you also for the baby instruction link. I feel like a better informed parent now...
from teranika :
I'm beginning to think that it worked in NY because my number wasn't listed. Either that or it worked for the first two years and now marketers are just ignoring the rules everywhere.
from dandydandy :
Thanks! I look forward to it.
from teranika :
Hi Harri3t - thanks so much for this kind offer. I'll bet you would be a wonderful source of books!! I was talking with K about this, and really, our only difficulty with accepting anything is that it costs a fortune to ship anything north of the border! We would love to accept some things, but only on the condition that we could p4yp4l you the cost of shipping.
from misspinkkate :
Ha! Why, yes it was! I meant to mention it, but I forgot. I will mention it today.
from teranika :
I see a new grammar bitch album in the making...but seriously, perhaps it's just me, but Gwen Stefani is creating greater musical crimes with 'rich girl' than simple grammatical incorrectness.
from dandlioneyes :
Hey m'dear, do you check messages here? Thanks for the good luck. My anxiety is palpable, but it will be OK. Many hugs!
from elgan :
I do have a wordpress account, actually: eleanorio.wordpress.com. I'm halfheartedly thinking about double posting there. Sort of. But you could leave me messages there if you like.
from dandlioneyes :
I've bookmarked your new "home"... will miss you here. But totally understand!
from rs536-2000 :
I couldn't leave you a comment. Congrats on the library coup (not coo)!
from melwadel :
Since my comment may have been marked as spam ::rolleyes:: I'll leave it here: Happy Mother's Day!
from teranika :
thanks for that link - hilarious! I had to send a copy to my old choir director (who also loved it). I also surfed and found a sign language interpretation by the same guy. brilliant.
from readersguide :
Yes, it's like that, isn't it? It made me appreciate Jane Austen all over again. Her stupid characters are funny.
from rs536-2000 :
Good point. I changed it...with difficulty because diaryland sucks lately.
from lonelymomof2 :
Thank you for the birthday wish!
from cassiopeia- :
Please add "cassiebeans" to your friends list!
from eggsaucted :
Welcome back! Between the internet and my mom's best friend who happens to be a pharmacist I was able to arrive at exactly the conclusion you did. I figured I'd be at the ER until monday morning if I went there with a complaint like this on a saturday evening, since I have no other complaints I'm thinking this is the route to go and I wholey agree no more 'cillins for me either. I am just so ready to put all of this behind us.
from rs536-2000 :
Have a wonderful time!
from readersguide :
And it looks like we will be rolling through western mass at some point ...
from rs536-2000 :
true...she's HIV.
from readersguide :
Yes, there were a few wayward things, but I think I've got it working, now.
from annanotbob :
Thanks for your note. It cheered me up no end. Hope to be back soon xxx
from rs536-2000 :
And really that is the only response that makes any sense.
from rs536-2000 :
The door opens in, so I'm not sure about the hook and eye idea...I'm sure that there's an easy solution, but I'm not sure what.
from teranika :
Hi H-spy, Oh yes, I took your comment exactly in that way. As you can see, after boldly stating that these things don't bother me anymore...I went off on another whole entry about how frustrating teaching can be sometimes! :-) Alas, if these are the worst of my problems then I lead a good life.
from rs536-2000 :
I'm just happy it hasn't happened to AJ.
from eggsaucted :
It isn't exactly an original idea, they made them in school, but her highness always the perfectionist threw hers away because she wasn't happy with it. Then got upset that she didn't have one, so we made our own. GO BEARS! I'm glad you're enjoying the books, I know they are a little ahead of AJ, but pentominoes seemed right up his alley. The books were truly special because of their setting and well the fact that my second grade teacher and some other favorite school adminstrators are listed fondly in the acknowledgements. Happy Super Bowl Sunday! GO BEARS!
from rs536-2000 :
I got sucked in despite all the flaws you mention. I hope they do a better job (or some job) with St John Rivers.
from smedindy :
Oh, and yeah, I'll burn one for you too. You and Claudia, geez....gimme gimme gimme. :-P
from smedindy :
Psst...you may wanna look at your entry and edit on one of the headers on what AJ said...just sayin'...
from honestliar :
The link to the diaryring is located at http://honestliar.diaryland.com/060216_31.html
from dandlioneyes :
Happy Holidays to you and your family. That hotel with the goldfish sounds NEAT. :-)
from readersguide :
ha! Perfect.
from readersguide :
They are really easy and fun to do with kids, because it's pretty easy, but somehow shaking with sugar is pretty fun. Also, not a lot of tedious cleanup. Also, they really are pretty yummy. Hey! I need a letter!
from eggsaucted :
That's tooo funny.
from misspinkkate :
Thank you, I'm glad I'm not the only one. Seriously, who wants to wash their hair with snow??? The ensemble in the Rockettes show had to sing the song, and they must have sung that line 1000 times, with big smiles, and it made me laaaaugh.
from princessreva :
I'd appreciate the hookup! I have always like Sergio Mendez and the Brazil '66 but I don't know if that is real Brasilian or not... it's tasty though! The stuff most Americans listen to is NOT a good representation of our best music, so I understand that most Brasilian I come in contact with bites the big one(my husband thinks there should be a grammy for best Mexican music and give it to a non-Mexican every year - the rest of Latin America totally digs it and it makes me giggle. Accordians and tubas in pop music??) I'll get to see what other Brasilian music is like today at the activity - here's to hoping I get some real stuffs!
from dandydandy :
We did bake the dough like regular cookies, but the large "ramp" cracked anyhow.
from eggsaucted :
Advice por favor! Teacher gifts....do you do them? Do you guys make them? How much did you do? did you do it for all the teachers or just the "lead" teacher? I'm stressing about it and I don't like that. Thanks! If you want to respond via email feel free.
from teranika :
Aww that is so sweet of you! Actually we have a visitor coming from Jena next weekend, and she is bringing a suitcase full of German traditions for us! But it would mean a lot if you stopped and listened to a kitchy version of Leise Rieselt der Schnee for me..;-)
from melwadel :
Is it odd that I'm finding a dead guy kinda hot? Well, he sings and plays guitar, so...asked and answered.
from saucy99 :
Thanks for the note...after too many years in Wriggleyville, I am so excited to become a Wicker Parkian!
from readersguide :
Ahh. No mayonaise. I myself like a lot of mayonaise. And the bread to be toasted. Yumm.
from rs536-2000 :
I don't know that calzone place...hmm. The pedicure are pretty cheap here. Not as luxurious as a $20+ pedi, but more justififiable
from eggsaucted :
Indeed it was her school then and you have my permission to stalk all you want, I am still beyond curious about what goes on during the day. It's so hard to get her to tell me herself. That whole halloween fairy idea sounds very cool, I told a bunch of people at work and they all agreed.
from smedindy :
So YOU'RE the one who likes Chuckles. I always remember them sitting forlornly in vending machines at school, whilst other candy bars were sold left and right.
from eggsaucted :
If I know which public school you walked by...you passed her highness on the playgroung and I can narrow down to two which one of the teachers was the witch.
from eggsaucted :
that McDs is long gone, they ripped it down about a month after a security shot a customer. We have a new one which is like a year old, but apparently the rats found there way over there.
from rs536-2000 :
She just wanted to remind you of the joys of public transit, right?
from rs536-2000 :
Yup--now I remember. Looks like IH has swollowed half the town now... I'm bidding on the Bobs CD on ebay.
from rs536-2000 :
Thanks--I'll think of you all watching TV. At least we haven't gotten any snow here yet.
from eggsaucted :
That is where she taught and I don't know if our paths actually crossed there or not. She taught 3rd grade and I would have been well past 3rd grade when she was teaching. But she does list my second grade teacher who is now only 20 years old (he's a leap year baby) as one of her mentors in her work. I would think AJ would really like Pentaminoes which are a major topic in both books. There is also a lot with codes and decoding which I might have liked 20 years ago but which for me were tiresome in the book. But several things actually made me think of AJ. Indeed Robie house is featured in the second book, with factual history and made up mystery.
from rs536-2000 :
Yeah, people seemed surprised by the "as is" at the Grad Ctr. I love the sound of 'Schadenfreude,' i think because, to me, it is an anti-Onomatopoeia...it sounds so upbeat. Schadenfreude, schadenfreude, rah, rah, rah!!
from dandlioneyes :
kudos on a good first day! it sounds like things went really well!
from elgan :
Sadly, I have rehearsals and concerts for the rest of the week. Most of what I wanted to talk about I'm spewing out into an entry. Any insights or suggestions you have would be greatly welcome.
from eggsaucted :
I think it's kind of like GVC05 it's going to take me a while before I can really laugh about it. It's just not the news you want to get on the second week of school, no matter how funny it is.
from eggsaucted :
I love her program from what she tells me and from what I am slowly but surely learning about it. But I'm dying to be a fly on the wall, her teacher is such an early childhood guy that he makes everything sound wonderful, I'm sure everything is fine, it's not so much that I'm worried, but I am beyond curious at this point. My big boss lives across the street and he thought I was joking when I asked if I could rig up a web camera from his front lawn. I completely understand what you mean by the focusing on little things. She has completely left out mentioning Spanish Class. I think that's major, apparently not so much to her.
from teranika :
I have to say that I am so glad to have left the fog of New York on this day. I will also always be moved by the personal stories. But the overlying fog during this time is oppressive.
from saucy99 :
Thanks for the note...I am gonna give the guy a chance!
from rs536-2000 :
thanks--I'm feeling pretty good about it.
from rs536-2000 :
too bad I wouldn't know a cervix if I tripped over one. I guess that would be pretty bad, huh?
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for your note! i really appreciate it. did you end up submitting your writing?
from eggsaucted :
I'm beginning to think that taking the entire day off today was not the most brillant idea I've ever come up with. Although I totally deserve it. 4 more hours. At least tomorrow I'll have work to distract me and we're in full blown gala is a month away craziness so I'll be busy for a month and then by the time the gala is over I'll be used to this whole new routine and won't stress about it, right? I ordered prints of her official first day pictures and I'm going to paste them on card stock and let her decorate them after I pick her up so she can give them to my parents. See how desperate I am for a distraction, I'm off to walgreens to pick up the pictures.
from eggsaucted :
Ah yes school fundraisers, finally a chance for me to bring crap to work and sell it, to make up for all of the crap I've bought out of guilt from all of the people I've worked with over the years.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for the note the other day. i'm sure i'll be OK with sleep, especially since i don't have external pressures (returning back to work...oh wait, there IS that pesky thesis thing, though!). i've been sleeping well the past two nights, though, and napping like crazy in the afternoon. as for yoga: i have it tonight, too, and i can hardly, hardly wait. isn't it amazing how it manages to turn a day upside down? coupon book shmoupon book.
from kewster :
(Tried writing in your guestbook but it wouldn't let me!) Hi Harriet, I just got rid of the sitemeter counter on my blog 'cos it kept tracking ME (my office and home IP seems to keep changing so the counter never knows when I'm me checking on myself), and out of nostalgia, I visited my guestbook and found myself at your blog via the note you'd left me last year. Your writing style and the things you write about are very engaging, and so I'm flattered that you enjoyed my ramblings! Best wishes to your little big boy. =)
from rs536-2000 :
What a great idea for a fund-raising charity! Glad L got something she likes.
from elgan :
Actually, I'm not sticking with the Uplands thing, I just felt that it would be very bad timing for me to bring it up today. That doesn't mean I won't tell her, before she starts rehearsing for the Christmas concert, at least.
from eggsaucted :
Just read this morning that we are down to 8 planets, and immediately thought of you.
from dandlioneyes :
Did I hear correctly? Did NPR really tell me that we are down to 8 planets instead of 9?? This is devastating to my sense of order in the world. Neptune the final frontier? How is AJ handling the change?
from saucy99 :
I couldn't believe it myself. Especially coming from Forbes. A bunch of my friends and I are thinking or writing a letter to the editor this week/weekend. I have so much to say that I don't know how I could get in in a concise letter! If you have any points you would like us to make, let me know and we can sign your name too!
from smedindy :
Hey ya! Thanks for the tip!
from eggsaucted :
We're all waiting to see if Macy's makes any effort in the corporate giving realm and even more so to see if it lasts in Chicago or if it is a short lived way to build some good will in a city that isn't very accepting of them. But I guess the guys who approached Marshall 112 years ago and told him that his name on a store would never last, but his name on a museum would last forever were actually correct.
from dandlioneyes :
my frustration is seriously all about the test... i can handle dietary changes if i do have GD. lots to read, for sure... and get this: they have a tv and dvd player in the lounge, so i could just lie down and do something completely mindless! i think pluto wasn't cut... whew. 8 planets seems way too few....
from eggsaucted :
Oh I think I know what you're talking about, I'll pay attention tomorrow when I go that way after dropping her highness off. I've always loved the little white house, they have lots of pictures of what it looks like at the metropro realty website....I think it's 1328.
from eggsaucted :
No, it's not and I have absolutely no idea what house you're talking about. This one is the tiny little white house in Madison Park. Two owners ago they actually fixed up nicely and even add a gorgeous addition to the back. But I've always loved the little house. It's white with aqua shutters.
from eggsaucted :
Sounds good. I look forward to hearing from you.
from rs536-2000 :
I will not say much in deference to your job as mother of an easily frustrated 'only' with whom I have a lot in common. Suffice it to say that I'm handling the disappointment only a little better than a 5 year old. But I have an idea for an entry for tomorrow about the whole idea of improving or being good at something. Maybe I'll carry it off.
from eggsaucted :
Very good point! I'm glad to know she already has career potential. So on to another topic, I saw a 3-D Movie "Exploration Mars" yesterday which made me think of AJ. We're actually opening a new 3-D theatre. Which brings me to my next point, da Vinci is only here another month, when can I get you guys down here?
from rs536-2000 :
It's "only" 97 right now...so maybe it'll top out at 100. I spend VERY little time outdoors. Well except for the ride this morning.
from rs536-2000 :
I think it may have been rained out after 45 minutes. I am sure that I would have enjoyed it--esp. Kronos. It was really just my gut reaction that entertained me. I cut the fish into chunks and quickly [5 min] pan fried it with the pesto sauce. It turned out very well, shockingly. Hope everyone has cooled off there and glad to hear that you had a good dinner.
from rs536-2000 :
is today the day? I thought that it was a couple of days away. Anyway, the Devil Wears Prada is pretty fun--you don't want to see that?
from melwadel :
I took Rescue Remedy years ago, but can't really remember the effect. Doesn't bode especially well, eh? Anyway, it's 27% alcohol, so if nothing else, I'll get a teeny tiny buzz.
from rs536-2000 :
When my mother is asked about her early widowhood and how she managed she always says that she did it because she didn't have a choice. Still, it's unfathomable for me to imagine what it's like for N's mother, especially since she has older and aware children to tend to.
from rs536-2000 :
I have a great fondness for discussing poo--why would anyone want to miss out on that?
from rs536-2000 :
I'm glad that you think it's ridiculous. There's nothing that makes me want to act out like being called compliant. What a horrifying word!
from taliana1 :
Thanks for the note...I'm back open. I found a keylogger on my computer at work and was afraid my boss put it there and would come read my diary. All is well now tho. Thanks :)
from eggsaucted :
Yes indeed....I couldn't say that yesterday, but I can talk about it in my diary today since well it's national news now. The whole neighborhood was a mess this morning, as you can imagine. Morning off was great. Have a good weekend. You guys still need to make plans to come down. The visitor today had great things to say about the special exhibits!!
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for your note! we had a great time in ireland, and want to visit the west coast next time. since we only had two days outside of dublin, we didn't want to drive too much, given how quickly i get exhausted. i envy your bike trip!
from smedindy :
I see you didn't take my bait about the Barrett / AJ tete a tete.
from eggsaucted :
Unsolicited opinion appreciated. That is essentially what I have planned. However without thinking about it I gave Kevin an ultimatum of sorts 3 days ago, telling him he had 3 days to respond. And he made some rumblings today that indicate he may actually follow through. He doesn't know I'm off work though and I'm not intending to tell him. The 3 day thing was supposed to have been totally arbitrary and I was even thinking about it tuesday when I said 3 days. Oh whatever I don't have to go to work tomorrow so thats the best part. Maybe I'll go buy a giant slingshot and shoot burning bags of dog poop at annoying managers office window.
from smedindy :
You know, it's sad that the kidlets get to eat all of the good stuff. Sigh.
from sparkspark :
xox thanks for adding me--I look forward to reading all your brilliance! XO Violet
from dandlioneyes :
Enjoy the spa!! :-)
from dandlioneyes :
It is ridiculously full of cliches, but for the fact that it was based on an amusement park ride, it does a great job. Lots of references to the ride, which is just funny. And what can I say, I'm a sucker for Johnny Depp!
from dandlioneyes :
if the thesis of that thesis is: women find jack sparrow irresistible, all i can say to that is... ahoy, matey! :-) i felt like a teenaged girl watching that movie, i swear.... glad you've had a productive day today!
from rs536-2000 :
I agree--I was a little taken aback by his comment, because of the similarity to what you wrote about AJ.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks, m'dear, for the sweet note! we are giddy. the botanical gardens sounded wonderful.
from freshhell :
Yes! What I find incredibly annoying is how, no matter what we do, we can't win. Why aren't we married? Okay, now we are. When are we having children? Okay, we have one. When's the next one? Okay, here's #2. Are you done yet? Is that all - just two? Yes, goddammit, isn't that enough? Leave me and my ovaries alone! Are men harassed at this level? Hardly.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for your note! i'm a long way off from the movement visible on the outside, but this is amazing. ;-) so one can see one's belly move from the outside?! the things i never knew.... hope your weather is better soon!
from dandydandy :
Did your friend write the Iceman book about the prehistoric man found in a glacier? I loved reading that book. I need to dig it out for my kids.
from saucy99 :
As one who is studying economics in grad school, I loved the link to the toilet seat paper and even forwarded it on to some of my profs! They were thoroughly amused!
from eggsaucted :
Well if it wasn't across the street I'm not sure we would have gone either. Her highness has had quite the busy social schedule lately, so I totally understand. That doesn't stop me from bugging you guys to come down though. Keep us in mind for June, I think it will be a lot of fun.
from dandydandy :
Wow. Stalking Liz Phair is definitely the coolest of cool.
from smedindy :
I have been since 1977 - when WGN came to the cable channel in C'ville. I normally am a cynic about them. I just love baseball, but I'm a National League guy. The only AL teams I really like are Oakland and Boston. Though I had a soft spot for the Pale Hose when Bill Veeck owned them and they had those wonderful old-time uniforms with the collars!
from readersguide :
welcome to summer camp hell! I'm just coming out the other end -- M is taking drawing three mornings a week, with a week of afternoon rockclimbing and three days of horse camp. Probably there will be horseriding lessons, too. Once a week. For simplicity, we are sending N to Spain! I have no good advice on this one. Just sympathy. Charts are essential. (I guess this constitutes advice.) Just wait until everything has to be done with a friend! And you are right -- it increases exponentially with each child. Actually -- here's more advice. If #3 makes more sense, pay for that and send him to language camp anyway. N studied Mandarin Chinese in kindergarten because her teacher gave lessons on the side. She doesn't remember any of it, but I'm sure it was useful in some way. She's still quite interested in languages.
from saucy99 :
Thank you so much for sending me the Fish article!
from eggsaucted :
Well I hope if you guys can't make it that weekend you'll come down for the exhibit it's really incredible. I like it better than last years Body one, but who am I to judge. Let me know if I can help with arrangements.
from annanotbob :
Thanks xx
from rs536-2000 :
At first glance: it's a paper that only extremely well-respected scholars could get away with. A grad student at Harvard or U of C would be eviscerated for sloppy scholarship and the faulty use of causation and poor analytic reasoning. Example: "The lobby also has significant leverage over the Executive branch. The power derives in part from the influence Jewish voters have on presidential elections."[snip] "…they make large campaign donations to candidates from both parties." <snip> And then in the conclusion: "Can the Lobby’s power be curtailed? One would like to think so, given the Iraq debacle…" My 2 cents: only 19% of Jews voted for Bush in 2000. I DO NOT FOR ONE SECOND BELIEVE that we would have a war in Iraq if Gore had been elected in 2000. So how did the Iraq war become the fault of Israel? The authors conflate the Jews with the neo-cons which seems disingenuous to me...like conflating Jerry Falwell with Women against Porn. Overall, they have some good points which they've obscured by taking their ideas too far, in my view.
from dandlioneyes :
i'm sure this will be a fun and crazy and hoppy weekend for you, but enjoy! thanks for the maternity wardrobe advice... my mom ordered a few really nice things for me, and i'll have to go out to the chi-chi store in the local fancy mall and pick out something for myself. and who knew i'd have to get larger underwear. yikes! happy weekend!
from smedindy :
Just wanted to alert you that I linked you AND told the story of your disc #1 on my essay that I just wrote!
from annanotbob :
Thanks! Your explanation clarified not only what the words meant, but also why I've been unable to work them out for myself.
from readersguide :
They are really lovely, but I do understand the spiderman problem. I think they could be customized a little bit -- for instance, they come with a little name tag which could be decorated, or maybe replaced with a spiderman tag. You could definitely put stickers on the outside of the plastic box part -- They're awfully cool, though. It's a series of little boxes (plus silverware!) inside a plastic box -- fairly flat. The plastic box then fits inside another case, sort of like a laptop case. A plastic bottle fits next to the box inside the case. The case has a pocket inside and outside. I actually think the coolness factor might be impressive to a first grader, especially if jazzed up with some stickers or something. I think I would like to eat all our meals out of them! (My children think I have lost my mind, but -- they did not say no to the lunch boxes, even though I said they could. So.)
from camera-girl :
Thx for your comment. I like the giraffe ad too, if I may say it :-)
from metonym :
I actually think of your experience often. One of the things I get from it is the hope that eventually life might take me back to the program - that there's a chance of finishing, which I want to do. I remember when earlier this year you recommended that I go try just being in the workforce & it sounds like better advice by the day. I don't know - maybe I should have directed my energies in that direction, I probably could have found *something*...But hopefully what I'm doing will work out too. I expect that you're right and my problems aren't particular to grad school.
from annanotbob :
Thanks for that - I'm going to make an attempt tomorrow, as it all just seemed too hard today, but I may yet have to email. xx
from chakra-chick :
Hi dear. thanks for the caring comment you left for me. have a great day further. (hugs)
from eggsaucted :
Thanks! She absolutely refuses to stop growing, I've asked.
from dandlioneyes :
thank you! we're delighted, and besides the morning sickness that i've had for, oh, the past two months, i've been good. now that we're in the second trimester i feel good about sharing.
from wistful-blue :
Hi Harriet, thank you so much for complementing my new layout! I'm thrilled that everyone seems to like it as much as I do. :-)
from eggsaucted :
Yes indeed a great story the ugly fence around the library always illicited many comments during prospective student visits. But you know it was the tallest red brick library in the country. We were the tallest library in the county until the University of Texas added some height to theirs.
from freshhell :
Well, there's pruning and then there's...butchering. I was ranting about the latter, where bushes are sculpted into shapes they should be rather than necessary pruning to hold back invasiveness or remove old, woody stems to encourage new growth. So, it's not you, it's them! (You know: THEM)
from teranika :
I agree that you seem to have made the right choice. I can tell you from the experience in our department: If you are good, there will always be an offer next time.
from dandlioneyes :
sound like you made the right decision. it always feels good when those big ones are off of the chest, no?
from annanotbob :
Thanks - the good thoughts go both ways xx
from dandlioneyes :
good luck with the decision about teaching... *hugs*
from honorreverb :
hey, i had a problem with my layout and my diaryrings got deleted because i just had to grab a template after everything got messed up. it was up until yesterday or the day before. i'm going to fix it as soon as i can. sorry about that. -alex
from the-moo :
hello you left a note for me at my old diary (no-map) about removing me from the ring I just wanted to say thats fine I moved diaries a while ago and took down all of my links and I've not yet gotten around to adding rings to my new diary!! best wishes etc etc xxx
from rs536-2000 :
Also, you've made me hugely popular with your Pandora recommendation. My co-workers love it! I like it too. And your son sounds amazing. I was telling my mom about the "rule" issue last night. She was highly amused.
from rs536-2000 :
When I think of my visits to you where we went to functions, I think of all the bacon/bacon bits in everything. Bacon must be the ziti of the Midwest. That's very sad.
from elgan :
Thanks so much for your note. It means a lot to me to get such praise from a fellow musician.
from metonym :
Probably on both counts - but the second thing, about making connections more openly & asserting myself, that is something that the Turkish Lady said explicitly. So I expect you're right.
from saucy99 :
Oh my god, that link was hilarious, in a very alarming way!
from elle-marie :
I agree about this being addictive. I am also in grad school (getting my M.A. in theology). Instead of writing a paper for class on Tuesday, I have spent all day messing around on Diaryland. Go figure :) Interestingly, if I ever begin work on my Ph.D., I will probably move to Chicago since you guys have several schools with excellent theology departments – so reading you and Mimi Smartypants is sort of like research (I’m excellent at rationalizing).
from elle-marie :
i am new to diaryland and am just writing to say i really enjoy your diary. i found your link from mimi smartypants - you're both v. funny ladies. sounds like you chicagoland diarists have all the fun. i’m from cleveland, but there’s not really any diaries worth reading from this area… sigh… i guess i’ll have to live vicariously through you guys.
from dandlioneyes :
oh no with the water leakage! glad that the computer is ok... what a weekend. *hugs*
from scullerymaid :
Yes! That makes two people who agree with me.
from readersguide :
I liked Snow. Metonym loved Snow. I just read Case Studies (the new Kate Atkinson). An enjoyable read, but maybe not so much to talk about -- Our choices lately have not been so great. I'm loving Runaway, too, but yes -- hard to talk about. Hmmm
from readersguide :
Harriet! we read Fingersmith, by Sarah Waters. Victorian lesbian melodrama. I'm not sure if I'd recommend it or not -- it's kind of fluff, but it might be interesting to talk about. Do you have any recommendations?
from stereogirl :
Thanks so much for your condolences. Love to you.
from teranika :
Dear, dear Harri3t - let me tell you that when you start waking in the middle of the night and start writing your thesis (or Mr. T. as we called him), you KNOW that you are in the final stretch! Good luck with your stress.
from metonym :
Thanks for the well wishes, on all counts.
from teranika :
Your posting and elgan's phrase "so that someone else could raise them" also prompted a reaction in me - I sent a note to my sister-in-law to let her know that she is a wonderful mother raising a delightful child (my niece spends a good portion of her day in childcare). I honestly don't think that elgan meant for her words to have the hurtful overtones that they had... But the discussion made me think that perhaps that my sister-in-law must face the same conflicted feelings that have come up in this disucssion, even though she is raising a wonderful child who is so clearly very loved. I lived in East Germany, where the state imposed daycare for all babies, and yet the adults seemed normal and healthy. Children are more resilient than we frequently think - I've learned from my wonderful mother (who lived in a different city for many years of my childhood) that it is what you do with the time that you have with your children that is most important.
from dandlioneyes :
hear hear! i think we should all get into a room with padded walls and beat the crap out of them! *ahem* ok, maybe that would be going overboard....
from zuzus-petals :
I know.. I'm so enamoured with the images these days.. I just can't stop. Torquoise is one.. a salmony pink color is another - I have one I've been somewhat reluctant to post.. but now that you've brought up the issue of color I just might have to.. it's my father in a salmon kitchen (with a bird cage by the kitchen table!!) - it's just an amazing photo.. and I swear Tony Soprano is sitting at the head of the table! I'll post it tonight or tomorrow... - Zu
from smedindy :
Great, consider yourself #8. It'll probably be an early summer release, just in time for the Cubs to fall to fourth place. (Sigh). And if you still had that mix tape, it would be neat to try to post the songs online and have everyone around here help you ID the songs.
from smedindy :
Oh, and I'm going to do an entry on how many danged mix CDs I've made for people. I have seven more sets I think I'll do in the spring time after I refresh and 'retune' as it were. But I'm intimidated by you - mainly because of your profession and the fact that I tend to go into the campy and kitschy and odd and sometimes downright mainstream. Sigh.
from rs536-2000 :
it's apparently a book: A Mystery, Wrapped in an Enigma, Served on a Bed of Lettuce: A Collection of Cartoons by Stevens, Mick, and Ziegler, Jack
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for the note. did aj like the news from punxatawney (misspelled, i know) phil?
from teranika :
You poor thing! I'm sorry that the day wound up so frazzled. Feel better - I hope you DO get that cup of warm tea and a book soon.
from saucy99 :
Feel better soon!
from dandlioneyes :
hope you feel better! *hugs*
from teranika :
That's very true about the co-authorship, and I think you are right that co-authors should be held accountable in some way for fraud. One of my former supervisors used to say that one should not accept co-authorship unless engaged enough in the work to present the entire paper. 'Author inflation' is increasingly a problem as large projects rather than single researchers are funded. The journal Nature has long endorsed that the Acknowledgement section be used to outline each person's contribution to the published work. Not always easy to quantify, however...
from teranika :
I'm not certain that I agree with you about the time that it took to 'out' the scientists who faked data. In fact, I was rather impressed that the fellow was outted so quickly. Personally, I review a LOT of papers and proposals, of people I do not know. I can comment on their scientific reasoning, and I can comment on all of the facts that they include in their papers. But I can only trust that they have generated their data in a proper and consistent manner, until someone tries to reproduce it. The nature of the process is such that, unless I am working directly in the lab on the same materials, it would be a VERY easy point to overlook. That's why in this case, rather that being disgraceful, I find it a testament to the scientific process that the falsifier was outted so quickly. That is, as soon as other scientists could not reproduce his results (which makes you wonder what this guy was thinking..surely if you claim to clone something, you are going to be found out..). To me, this incident showed that the scientific process does indeed work (which I realize is a conclusion contrary to most others.) Anyway, my ten cents worth!
from missleigh :
Oh I know! Vegan Lunch Box is awesome. That's one lucky little shmoo.
from saucy99 :
I loved your story from yesterday. You have a very engrossing way of writing. As I was reading your entry, I felt totally sucked in and oblivious to what was happening around me...in a good way! ;-)
from missleigh :
I don't talk about it much in my diary, but I consider "The Taj" to be one of my greatest accomplishments. Hauling all that marble really did a number on my back, but it was worth it. I also speak fluent Hindi. I was suprised to read that the horns of AJ are made entirely from hair! I thought that would have been bone, or cartlidge maybe.
from readersguide :
Yes, the third one is a little subtle. It took me a while to get it, and my three year old neice didn't think it was very funny. The 5 and 7 year olds seemed to like it, and my kids thought it was funny -- particularly when I didn't understand how it was a joke. I'm wondering what you're going to do about AJ and school, though. It is certainly true that kindergarten is not really about academics. I often find school a pain in the neck though, actually -- homework is constantly interfering with other, more interesting things. I guess what I mean is, it may be okay if school is not actually all that challenging for him -- it will give you lots of time to do other, more educational stuff outside of school. Is it going to be very boring al the way through, though -- at some point you will want him to be challenged. But you don't even know where you may be living in two years, I think. So you're probably okay for now -- he'll do lots of crafts in Kindergarten and that will be fun, and it's a short day so he can read and do math at home with you. Actually, I just finished My family and other animals by Gerald Durrell. It's quite a good argument for kids learning loads of stuff without much in the way of formal education --
from elgan :
I hope that times have changed. My grade 1 teacher was upset with my father for having taught me to read (this is in 1963) before I started school (although he found me to be a difficult student), and my son could easily have skipped grade 2 (he would finish his work early and disrupt the class by fooling around, and the teacher refused to give him more or harder work because “it wasn’t fair”). The run-of-the-mill school curriculum is not meant for above-average intelligence children. But there are after-school programmes that you can look into if you think AJ needs it. Good luck!
from saucy99 :
I totally agree. Lifetime is absolutely ridiculous. The fact of the matter is that they are losing viewership to "women's" TV stations that have a bit more of an edge, such as Oxygen. The problem lies with Lifetimes lame and overly dramatic programming.
from readersguide :
Yes, latin really is hard. N. is currently struggling with the gerund/gerundive. (Strangely, M. is doing gerunds in Spanish at the same time.) I'm pretty good at languages, but the fact that there are so many things that are the same (latus, latus -- or the gerundive, which is apparently EXACTLY LIKE some hideous subjunctive thing)) really does seem difficult. How could people even use such a language? But Russian is also pretty complicated in similar ways, and people seem to manage somehow. Interesting, though.
from readersguide :
Hmmm. I remember worrying about the lack of childhood freedom, too. I think at least partly it's due to parents and kids being busy (i.e. not home) and also, maybe, smaller families. With more than a few kids, I think parents had to let them run wild. Now that my kids are older, though, they really do go lots of places on their own -- more than I did, certainly. I think public transportation makes that a lot easier. Funny you should mention words -- we're on a program to learn one SAT word/day. Plus a ton of latin vocabulary. I do like perfidy. I am liking sanguine. And the latin verb ferro, [something], tuli, latus, which I think means to carry. And then perferro, per[something], pertuli, perlatus -- which means to endure.
from indiaaudus :
I have really appreciated reading your journal. All of the events and tone to your home sound exactly like the setting i aspire to have one day.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a note. i know 1 in 6 couples goes through this, never thought it would be me, but we're doing ok. i loved having the doctor's apt., though, made me feel proactive. hope you have a great 2006 -- and good luck with those questions from aj!
from teranika :
Okay, so, I'm not the first one with this comment, but feel free to procrastinate at my house anytime...
from zuzus-petals :
If you ever find yourself in need of more procrastination, I have a great little study that could oblige your needs! ((Happy New Year!))
from freshhell :
I feel the same way about the post holiday ennui and the tree. I wish I could cut a hole in the floor and plant a fir in the living room so we'd always have a live tree in the house. We could decorate according to the holiday -- next up, hearts! Yesterday went pretty well. Sad and weird (me and churches do not mesh well) but Madeline's handling it much better than me. That's so funny why AJ wants a baby! Tell him it would cry all the time and keep him up - maybe that'll change his mind!
from freshhell :
Oooh - we've got the full spectrum between us, eh? Life and Death. Tell me how that goes. Madeline and I have talked about babies but not the mechanics behind how EXACTLY such a thing occurs. A good source for body parts (perhaps for demonstration purposes?)is the Ultimate Visual Dictionary by DK Publishing. Madeline LOVES this book and AJ should as well. It's got everything - geology, planets, human body, names the parts of machines, etc.
from elgan :
Hahahahahaha! I was just waiting for that one.
from smedindy :
Oh, the Apple II. I was the king of Lemonade Stand. Stand back, I'm about to become the Trump o' citrus juice, you!
from elgan :
The dissertation lady! I'd forgotten all about her. I remember at Michigan she was the bane of Ph.D. hopefuls, pulling out her ruler and declaring that margins were too small or too large. She reduced otherwise emotionally-distant men to tears. Hubby went in to see her one day with his dissertation (a musical composition which was perfect in all ways as measured by her ruler) and a man from another division was visibly distraught, carrying boxes and boxes of paper. Such a tyrant!
from rs536-2000 :
I know the feeling. I'm trying to write something for work that has 'I DON'T CARE' written all over it. You'll be so happy when the P H and D come your way. I smile just thinking about it.
from elgan :
Happy New Year to the harri3tspy and her household. I love the bathrobe. So suave.
from wistful-blue :
AJ is nothing short of adorable in his new robe! Happy New Year to all of you. -cat
from elgan :
You need Weldbond! It glues practically anything to anything! Get some today! I'm serious! http://www.yankeeharvest.com/weldbond/
from smedindy :
So, you survived, as did I. Unfortunately, there will be no post-Christmas bender, as I must slave away making my wages tomorrow.
from elgan :
Wishing you and yours a happy Happy and a merry Merry!
from elgan :
Ice is hard. I sympathize with your knees, et cetera.
from smedindy :
Yes, double dipping under the age of eight is cute. Over the age of eight it's punishable by death!
from teranika :
Thanks for your note to the 'shadow side of earth' - I know that this is in my own head..but it still hits me sometimes!
from teranika :
Your entry reminds me of two things: 1. K loves Thinkgeek.com! 2. when I lived in Germany, I once saw a 'handicapped' seat in the train. I spoke German well enough and sufficiently without an accent, but I had never encountered the word. (I thought it was someone who got enough frequent traveller awards!). And so when the conductor came by, I asked him what it meant. The conversation was very strange, "What does handicapped seating mean?" "It means this seat is reserved for a handicapped person" "But what is a handicapped person?" "You know, handicapped. handicapped." "How do I become a handicapped person?" "WHAT?" He finally realized that I wasn't a native speaker and started to laugh, and then explained. My empathy with AJ!
from zuzus-petals :
Glad you liked Juanita's work with Lukas! I'm just thrilled with it too! - Zu
from teranika :
You are not the first person who has told me that they absolutely loved the books, and the Christian allegory was lost on them as a child. I wish that I had been exposed to the books before I had been exposed to the critical interpretation. I did find the Christian connection was strongly present in the film, and wished rather to have had the simplicity of a child's perspective.
from elgan :
Have a great weekend. Having just read "The Cat in the Hat" in Latin (Cattus petasatus), I have a special fondness for gold fish.
from teranika :
Thanks for the empathy. I think the arrested woman was being honest (either that or she is a superb liar). My colleagues constantly moan about how the student population is getting worse each year. Despite my moaning about the sheer amount of work, I had an excellent crowd of kids this semester, especially compared with last Spring. Perhaps it is just a matter of my learning to adjust? Did you like the Narnia books? I never read them but I get such mixed reviews of them, mostly from people who are so wholly turned off by the Christian metaphor. I guess I will have to read them myself to decide...
from teranika :
Your 'oodly' comment had me laughing out loud. Thank you.
from rs536-2000 :
she says in a small voice, "i didn't know about the fawn/faun difference."
from elgan :
That was lovely. I've read the Narnia books to both of my kids, probably at ages a little more advanced than AJ's, but they loved them. I never tire of reading them, either to myself or out loud. I'd love to hook up with you on AIM one of these evenings, but it's been insane around here and I'm sure you're busy too. Maybe we can set up a time mutually convenient to us both. I miss our chats.
from dandlioneyes :
we listened to dylan thomas each christmas on record, listening to that gravely voice. on an xmas/santa aside: if you have vonage internet phone, they have a neat (free) service for their customers. if you dial *101* (or something like that), your child can call santa. it is santa's answering machine, saying he is busy making toys up in the north pole, but to please leave him a message with what you want for christmas and he will do his best! very cute, and children can talk for hours if they want, reading their letters to santa's answering machine over the phone. made me think of AJ.
from annanotbob :
Hi. After reading your entry yesterday I hunted out that Dylan Thomas story and read it to my long term pupil today. Beautiful. Thanks.
from teranika :
Just the word I was going to use. A lovely entry. (my dad threw pebbles on the roof and put a red lantern in the tree...)
from melwadel :
That was lovely, H. A Happy Christmas to you all.
from teranika :
I love Ned Flanders, or rather the fact that he exists. One of our lecturers is a female Ned Flanders. You just want to choke them sometimes, dontcha? <br> <br> Anyway, I know the obnoxious thesis blues, I know those dreadful questions "Have you found a job yet?" - and all I can say is, YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT and better yet, you'll be able to make a joke about it later. Keep the faith!
from readersguide :
Hey, I'm jealous!
from smedindy :
D'oh!
from dandlioneyes :
what stunningly beautiful pictures!
from elgan :
Snow shore is purty. Now if only it weren't so darn cold!
from wistful-blue :
This may sound ironic, but I found tonight's entry the total opposite of boring; not to mention, entirely relatable. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who's office is in a shambles right now. As for a collection of taxidermied birds to stand watch over your husband...if that isn't enough to make him want to get rid of Tou Can Sam, the sitch is just too far gone and there's nothing you could have done. :-) -cat PS: la-the-sage is the queen of accessorization; maybe she could help with some tips?
from wistful-blue :
Your entry brought to mind the very squicky scene from "The Birds," wherein Tippi Hedren finds herself sitting in front of a jungle gym full of crows, silently perched in wait. *Shivers*
from saucy99 :
Oh my god, that secret santa thing was hilarious!
from smedindy :
So when do the turtle doves make their apperance?
from elgan :
Several years ago I bought a metal parrot for my friend Vlad for her birthday. She loves this thing and has it in a place of honour on her grand piano. Unbeknownst to her, I picked it up at CPC (which stands for C'est pas cher) from amongst dozens just like it. I thought of it as a joke, she genuinely likes it. There is no accounting for taste.
from freshhell :
Also, try this: http://www.brainchildmag.com/. A quarterly magazine (which is more my pace) for moms who have brains and open minds. My favorite "parenting" magazine.
from wistful-blue :
You mean the media has been lying? Children aren't just the latest in a slew of must have celebrity accessories that us mere mortals are supposed to fall all over ourselves trying to imitate?! Damn! :-) A husband schooled in the art of subtlety? He doesn't happen to know of a west coast counterpart...does he? :-) -cat
from elgan :
Bizarre. When I was a mother of small children, I didn't have time for magazines. Ever. I think I cracked open National Geographic or Canadian Geographic once or twice, but then only had time to look at the pictures. I think the mothers Cookie is intended for have never had to wipe spit-up off their clothes before rushing off to work. So there!
from literatewit :
rock on lady. keep us posted as to how it goes. am in the job hunt myself. (but you knew that).
from beltwaybelle :
That's amore!
from dandlioneyes :
congratulations on sending out your job apps! you know, the deadline is scary, but i'm not making any progress. i just need to have that deadline for self-discipline. *hugs*
from freshhell :
Good luck on the job search - I'll send good vibes your way. Yeah, Madeline (Dusty) had the swollen tonsils two weeks ago (along with an ear infection). She wasn't too bummed out 'cause I let her watch tv during the day.
from readersguide :
Go you!
from smedindy :
Hey, can you save me a shutter? Or a shingle?
from elgan :
I am reminded of our pre-computer days when I used to type my husband’s C.V. every year (and every year it was longer than the last), make multiple photocopies, and send them off with job applications. Getting a word processing program was like heaven on earth, however it happened around the time he finally got a permanent job. Still, Interfolio sounds like a boon. Good luck with those applications.
from elgan :
Welcome home. I've missed you!
from freshhell :
Yes, Madeline (Dusty) and I have interesting conversations about religion all the time. I am a confirmed atheist after much thought and study and experience but I don't push one thing over the other, necessarily. We talk about how, "many people that..." to explain concepts like God, Heaven, Hell, and who Jesus is (ie, the OTHER reason for the season). It's a constant education for ME if not her. Frankly, I think the Statue of Liberty is a fine thing to worship!
from literatewit :
you had me in giggles in my office. which is apparently more acceptable than crying in my office, and MORE people come over to find out what caused it. heh. if i have kids, i want them to be like your boy.
from elgan :
Thanks so much for that take on the Lord's Prayer, which I learned when it was still a mandatory inclusion in the morning announcements when I switched from a parochial (Jewish) elementary school to the public junior high. Just to show how times have changed, my own kids don't know it. Happy Thanksgiving!
from smedindy :
You have a good turkey day, too. Of course, I learned the Lords Prayer thanks to Sister Janet Mead in 1975. Everybody, sing along....
from elgan :
It's nice to have you back, even if it is just briefly.
from rs536-2000 :
Neighbors!? I'm still hoping for the job-of-your-dreams for you...I'll try to be unselfish in my psychic energy-directing.
from dandlioneyes :
is it the dept. of ethnomusicology? i'm in the folklore program, which i doubt is represented at this conference. but a woman named carol ann miller is in that dept. and very smart. i don't know her personally though. *hugs*
from smedindy :
Good luck at the conference! Have fun storming the castle!
from drgeek :
Congrats on being ABD!
from teachin-usa :
Hope your paper is well received. :)
from elgan :
Yes, have a great trip. We await all kinds of stories upon your return. Remember, you'll owe us many days' worth of 15-minute allotments.
from dandlioneyes :
on a non-crying related note: safe travels, happy conferencing! have fun!
from smedindy :
Katie has her Brown Kitty, her Sunflower kitty, and Spotty the Dog. They seem to rotate - as if they have shifts or something....
from zuzus-petals :
Okay good re: not offending – because I’m enjoying the reacting and thinking. So here’s my forty seven cents on the subject (because two cents are far too few and I’m long-winded by nature.) Firstly in response to question 1 (Does professionalism necessarily mean masculine?) My answer is “no” – but this also, to some degree, requires that “professionalism” is defined and picked apart a bit. In general, I don’t experience professionalism as necessarily masculine – but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t sexism inherent in the workplace and/or gender bias in the way certain professions conduct themselves. Men and women are definitely treated differently, held in different esteem, but that’s not because women are behaving “unprofessionally” – that’s because sexism informs far too much. My answer to question 2 (Are there different kinds of professionalism for men and women that parallel different culturally ingrained patterns of communication that seem to split along gender lines?) I do believe that there are different expectations from men and women and these differing expectations bleed over into the workplace. My experience, over and over again in the work place is that I’ll have an idea, I’ll say it three or four times.. a man will say it and everyone (including women) will stop and say, “WOW.. what a GREAT idea!” I’ve never heard/seen that happen to a man. I have a really cool female boss who has taken to saying, “well that’s what Zuzu said like seven times…” It doesn’t matter though, both men and women have a difficult time crediting women with really good ideas. That’s been my experience – be the good idea mine or some other woman’s. Also, my experience in the workplace is that women viciously tear other women down and sabotage their authority – women don’t do this to men and men don’t do this, generally, to other men. I suspect this is a result of internalized sexism. My perspective on number 3 (Should women be trained earlier in life in professional behavior (i.e., crying control)?) is that women need not be trained earlier in life not to cry – nor do women/girls need “special” training beyond what men receive re: professional behavior. I was never taught “crying control” and yet I’m not a workplace crier. I don’t think being held when one cries as a five, six or seven year old determines ones ability to express emotions appropriate to a wide variety of contexts. I do think women need some kind of training on how to respect other girls and women – how to work more collegially with women and how to give and command respect to women. As to the fourth question… I don’t think crying is uniquely female. In some ways I think it just goes back to Meyer’s Briggs stuff.. feelers versus thinkers. I don’t think that’s about gender, that’s about how one processes the world. Thinkers naturally do better on this emotional appropriateness in the workplace issue compared to feelers, I’d suspect. If a person (man or woman) is a “feeler” then they may need additional support on this issue – and that would be true if the issue were crying or screaming, likely. Are there gender differences between how men and women who are “feelers” emote? Probably – but that’s less about the workplace, per se, then larger gender issues. Finally, I agree with your assessment of your bosses behavior – it too was errant.
from zuzus-petals :
I hear you re: your note. I've been working in non-profits for about 15 years too. Not in the arts, but there's something translatable about the cultures that get formed. "We're doing something different so we don't want to be corporate" blah, blah, blah. You know, I'm all for that. We're doing something different so we don't want to participate in structures that we find stiffling in the for-profit world, I suppose, but that doesn't mean we need to pay people substandard wages, act unprofessionally, refuse to be accountable, etc. I think the "corporate" trappings that we're trying to shed and traditional hierarchical forms of management, and perhaps certain formal protocols that don't fit. But oooogh.. it drives me nuts.. But/and back to the crying thing. I actually DO think it's manipulative - I don't think someone has to be conscious or deliberate in a particular action for that action to be manipulative. I concede (because I've talked to my crying co-workers abotu this) that they don't necessarily INTEND to be manipulative...as you say... they're doing something that feels natural and somewhat involuntary - like a hiccup. But just because it feels natural and involuntary doesn't mean it's not manipulative - that it indeed manipulates the conversation, the outcomes and course of dialog on issues at hand. One of the biggest criers in my office used to use a mantra that people needed to be aware of their intent and their impact.. that one might have had a certain intent but that didn't necessarily correspond with the impact they were having. Manipulation may not be the intent, but it is part of the impact. (and yes.. I got that you concluded that crying in the workplace isn't a good thing, per se... heh.. you just got me on one of those topics.. I'm not responding so much to what you're saying then I am to the issue more broadly...hope I'm not causing any offense - love your words ALWAYS!) - Zuzu
from zuzus-petals :
I'm totally NOT a workplace crier (and I'm a woman) and I really don't like workplace criers (and to some degree resent the proposal that if someone cries in the workplace they have a larger emotional spectrum.) I work for a non-profit (and ARGH the number of times I've heard people use the fact that we work at non-profits as reasons .. well.. for everything under the sun including as a reason to cry, a reason not to be held accountable, a reason not to get paid a living wage, and on and on and on.) Ooops.. you've hit a few of my pet peaves I guess - both crying in the work place coupled with somehow using the notion that it's a non-profit to lower standards all around. I feel that when my coworkers (male or female) breakdown into tears that it's a form of manipulation - intended or unintended AND I find it emotionally abusive. I don't mind if a person needs to cloister themselves off into a private office to have space/time for private emotions - have a good cry with the door closed - but in the midst of a meeting, lunch time or other interaction I find it wholly inappropriate and it makes me angry. And I'm not "allowed" to flare into an external display of anger - THAT would result in a potential lawsuit. I work with a lot of criers and have become rather callous to it. I feel like if they can sue if I get overtly angry and yell, then I should be able to sue if they cry - I personally find both/either inappropriate in the workplace. (I DON'T yell in the work place, by the way - I'm not a rager.) I just think it's important for workplace criers to understand that some of their coworkers find their outbursts to be a form of manipulation, a form of emotional abuse and tedious. Cry away, in your office, with the door closed, privately - the rest of us aren't necessarily interested in being your therapist during work hours. That's not to say we don't care how you feel, don't care that you feel hurt, wouldn't be more than willing to offer you a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, counsel if that's what is sought or wanted. But those are things we offer - not things we all want to be trapped into having to give you. ((I mean the proverbial "you" - not "you" Harriet.. because I don't think crying once in a meeting "really" labels you as a chronic workplace crier, really...)) When my coworkers start crying, I'd like to simply get up and leave (which I've done.. and it's frowned upon.../sigh.) Oh boy.. you've hit on one for me! - Zuzu
from saucy99 :
The one time I broke down and cried during work in front of others, I felt like a total failure. Especially since I worked in a male-dominated industry. It was like I was giving an excuse for my male coworkers to shrug and say, "women, they are so emotional, that's why they don't do well in the business world." Ahh well.
from elgan :
I don't know if the article you read mentioned it, but there are many different reactions other than crying which men engage in which are not considered "feminine" or unmanly. They get angry. They try to divert blame by blaming others. The become agressive. But they do not cry. Women on the other hand, instead of lashing out at others and trying to absolve themselves of blame or pin the frustration on something else, will internalize it and cry, because they see it as something they *should* have control over, if you know what I mean. It is very difficult to stand there unemotionally when someone is bawling you out. It is easier to just react and cry. I would like to discuss this further sometime. It's a good topic.
from saucy99 :
Thanks for the nice note. I'm feeling a little better about the whole thing and I've even turned off my cell phone for the evening! I just don't know what's gotten into me. I don't normally obsess like this about someone I barely know!
from elgan :
Good news on the ring. And spinach? Very strange.
from dandlioneyes :
congratulations, Ms. ABD! Wooo! Give me an A! give me a B! Give me a D! What does that spell? PhD (soon)!!!! ALso, congrats on the ring. Whew.
from saucy99 :
Congratulations on being ABD!
from elgan :
Congratulations!
from eggsaucted :
Yes I do and I emailed her about it just a few minutes ago. Too funny.
from smedindy :
Don't worry - OSU / Michigan is next week.
from freshhell :
One other thing: about color spectrums, and why colors seen in a prism always come out in ROYGBIV order, go to www.howstuffworks.com and search for "rainbow" - this goes some way to explain this, though it might be more than AJ can understand right now.
from freshhell :
Well, before you touch Freud again, read Women's History of the World (also published as Who Cooked The Last Supper). This book was absolutely fascinating and eye-opening. It puts many things in historical perspective. I think you'd really like it - when you're ready for non-fiction again.
from dandlioneyes :
oh my gosh. asking why the light separates out each time into ROYGBIV, consistently? i'd be totally stumped with that question! there is one neat science exp. that deals with air pressure, and the idea that air can effect change. you take an empty soda can and add a tiny bit of water. put the can on a hotplate or burner and wait long enough for the water to turn into water vapor and start steaming. prepare on the side a bowl of ice water. take tongs and flip the can over, opening side down, into the bowl of ice water and BINGO it crumples up.... reason? the cold turns the vapor back into water, the can is now absolotely empty and there is nothing holding its structure anymore, and the pressure of the air makes it crumple. SOMETHING like that, though i know i'm explaining it in poor words. the experiment is pretty dramatic, though! *hugs*
from smedindy :
Thanks! It did go well! (Not that there was any doubt...but still..)
from dulligirl :
I had to click your banner since Harriet the Spy was one of my favorite books as a kid. I'll be back!
from randh :
Awesome diary. I'm so in love. Really great stuff. I'll be back, trust me.
from dandlioneyes :
honestly, no good atlanta restaurants to speak of... i didn't look too hard, though! we did go to a good southern restaurant (with fried catfish and jambalaya!) which was good... ack, what was its name??? all in all, though, i didn't much like the town, but we stayed in a hotel that was pretty isolated. *hugs*
from smedindy :
You know - I was thinking of doing a 20 random iTunes thing today - it IS music week (well, mostly music week, since Wednesday is special and this weekend is THE game (Monon Bell - Wabash vs. DePauw)).
from elgan :
What a beautiful story. I think you'll be taking that road more often now, n'est-ce pas?
from rs536-2000 :
Well-meaning? Moi?
from elgan :
I'm glad your Italian exam went well. I'm also glad you broke your vow of silence. Grazie!
from freshhell :
Good luck on the exam. I was thinking about you this morning - your essay on feminism and the lack of historical women figures in the arts, etc (something to that effect - I'm too lazy to go back and double-check) and thought you'd like the book I'm currently reading, "The Women's History of The World" by Rosalind Miles. It puts women in their proper place in history - on top.
from ann-frank :
best of luck! will miss your updaes but go kick ass like you do!
from saucy99 :
Buona fortuna! Hope all goes well tomorrow.
from dandlioneyes :
what fantastic pictures, he's very handsome!
from readersguide :
Harriet -- he is very cute!
from readersguide :
I love spaces like that -- I went to school in Providence. What a great city for abandoned railroad bridges and rusty riverside industrial sites. I hopped a train once which went through a creepy old tunnel from the riverside to the abandoned-feeling train station. Oh god, I can never ever tell N. about that!
from eggsaucted :
Thanks! AJ looked mighty cute as well. She has an entirely different costume for tomorrow because I just was far to indecisive and she was even worse, every costume she was shown she wanted. Speaking of halloween growing by leaps and bounds from what it once was. When I was her highness' age we used to go to LP Zoo for their halloween event. It all took place in and around the great ape house and there were maybe 1000 children. Now there were more like 25,000 children and they were giving out candy and goodies by the truck load throughout the zoo. Oh my god, talk about chaos and insanity. But it was actually fun, I recommend it if you can stand the crowds.
from elgan :
Thank you so much for your note. I feel vindicated. I was worried how many people I was going to insult with my observations, but not worried enough, obviously, to keep them to myself. I must tell you sometime about the relic chapel I saw once. Creepy beyond belief.
from teranika :
Hello, perfectionist. You sound like you are in good shape. You can recycle your former paper as a 'backup' and then start work on the stronger, analysis paper, which will benefit you in the long run anyway. If you get the heavier analysis paper finished, you will be golden. (Or you can ignore this suggestion completely). Re: advisers and advice. (1) advisers are frequently wrong. (2) advice on research frequently turns out to be a wrong turn (I've put my students on several wrong turns with the phrase "try this.") But that's part of the journey. (3) I don't know your dynamic, but it seems to me that if you can say, "I was just working on your suggestion X, and I'm having some trouble. I understood you to say Y. Was that correct?" You may be wrong, but you are clearly working towards Z...do you think he would respond to that? thank you for this opportunity to throw in unsolicited advice where it probably is not needed...go sox.
from elgan :
Yes! Thank you! I got the recipe and I've printed it out. It looks fabulous, and as soon as I actually have time to cook, I will make a potful. I too am glad that my little girl is on the mend, but she's going to have a horrible scar to show for this. And it could have been so easily avoided!
from rs536-2000 :
I condole. The gratitude/put off thinking about comments thing sounds suspiciously familiar. My [unwanted] advice: there is no one way to approach this, so whatever you decide is likely to be a strong, interesting presentation.
from dandlioneyes :
go sox! you got your wish, time for rest in the harri3tspy householf. woohoo!!!!
from saucy99 :
Thanks for the advice re: my neighbor. I've complained twice to her in person, this is the first time in writing. I think I will send a copy to my LL. I secretly want the Sox to lose tonight, only because I think it would be more fun if they win the series in Chicago. But if they do win....I'm not complaining! Don't tell anyone, especially considering I'm writing this note in Hyde Park, surrounding by southsiders! ;-)
from saucy99 :
Are you watching the Sox games? Damn its a nail bitter! Bottom of the 13th and I should be studying!
from metonym :
man, that entry made me cry.
from smedindy :
That's really sweet. Katie just loves her dance class - and she is not afraid of climbing on any monkey bars.
from annanotbob :
Thanks for your note - I've ordered those essays. I'm pondering my favourites. One was Man Made Language by Dale Spender, but when I had a look at it recently I was amazed at how much things have changed since it was written. AJ reciting Blake was fab - such a beautiful thing to share.
from elgan :
I understand your fear of having AJ singled out. I was very careful to treat my kids as though they were perfectly normal, even though their teachers praised them to me, and babysitters raved about them. There was no way I was going to let them get swell-headed. And it worked.
from smedindy :
That is so cool! I learned to read when I was three and I to was paraded in front of my pre-school. Katie is not 'reading' yet, but she 'reads' the newspaper to her sister from time to time. It's cute!
from rs536-2000 :
I admire your fortitude!
from elgan :
I will log into AIM and maybe we can find this RealAudio together.
from elgan :
Thanks for your note. The CBC is no longer on strike (hallelujah!) and my husband’s symphony is going to be broadcast this Sunday at 10:00 p.m. Eastern time on Radio 2. I'll also mention it in my diary, but I wanted to make sure you were informed first-hand.
from saucy99 :
I think you have a future Johnny Carson on your hands! AJ sounds like such a sweet kid. Anyway, thanks for the comment regarding the toe issue I'm having. I feel a ton better now that I know this seems to be fairly common.
from missleigh :
Thank you, dear. I love it. :)
from elgan :
Thank you for that wonderful entry in which you addressed my note. I find everything you say to be well considered and insightful. I wish I were as articulate. I agree with you that "women's work" has to be recognized as culturally significant before women can achieve the same status as men. I have often bemoaned the fact that all the meals I've cooked, all the loads of laundry I've washed and all the driving around of kids I've done goes unrewarded in the sense that it is not paid labour nor is it acknowledged as "important" in the long run. And yet it is just this women's work that prepares the next generation. I think if women have a better appreciate of their own roles in their children's perception of gender and cultural signifcance, as you no doubt are doing with AJ, then that generation will grow up with a healthier attitude toward the contributions we all make to society, regardless of the sex we happen to be born with.
from annanotbob :
Thank you for your note - I have so much to say about some of this but I'm right out of practice in ordering my thoughts. We deconstructed femininity but somehow masculinity remained in place and now look where we are. Thanks for getting me thinking
from dandlioneyes :
thanks so much for the supportive note. i'll get settled in, i'm sure. limbo-land with dissertation and "what the %&^*& happens afterwards" probably doesn't help, either, plus the climate adjustment (grey rain grey rain grey no sunshine). we have discovered an amazing organic food delivery service (fruits and veggies) which is delicious! thanks again, big hug.
from annanotbob :
I'm still thinking about your post about Beethoven. The part that has me pondering is the question of where we position ourselves these days as women/feminists - things seemed so hopeful back in the 70s and 80s and although some things have changed others remain alarmingly the same. Thanks for posting though, I was completely unaware of such debates within music and although I have nothing of use to contribute back to you I am grateful for the window you have opened. All the best.
from elgan :
I am a little late in leaving you a note about your most recent posts. Firstly, Beethoven was a great composer and certainly deserves a chapter all to himself, but then again, so does Bach, and Berlioz, and Wagner, and Brahms, and all those other Germans (and Austrians). That’s not really the point. Once upon a time people went to concerts to hear new music, the latest compositions to come from the copyist's quill. Nowadays you have to pull teeth to get people to go to new music concerts. Then, the business about feminism. I tend to stay away from such discussions because I believe very strongly that we are all born equal, and in an ideal world there would be no need for such a movement. In reality, the feminist movement has fueled more hatred of men than anything else while at the same time doing very good work in bringing women the vote and opportunities to compete in a "man's" world, another thing I disagree with. The fact is, men and women are different and if we weren't able to mate and produce viable offspring, I would say we were from different species. Apart from the reproductive thing, men and women should be able to do the same jobs with the same amount of competence, and there should be no shame in any of that. Once upon a time, secretaries were men, nurses were men. In other words, the wage-earners were men. Women have made inroads in traditionally male professions (like medicine, for example), which I think is a good thing. But what has happened to those men who otherwise would have become doctors? I don’t know. Will there someday be a masculinist movement because men perceive that women have gone too far in reclaiming what they feel is rightfully theirs? This is a great topic for discussion. Maybe we can get a forum going.
from smedindy :
I didn't mean to say you were against it - I think you are safeguarding history. I just don't want to see music, any music, lost in the high weeds. Even if it is dorky pop crap like the stuff in my 70's quiz. Good reading today! I dug it!
from readersguide :
Hey -- your last two posts have been really interesting, and especially to me at this moment in the course of being annoyed at my mother-in-law, who is a self-described feminist, but then completely buys in to the idea that only things traditionally male are important -- i.e. accomplishments, structures, etc. Honestly, I'm more impressed by a decent potroast. It's interesting to think of this in terms of literature, too. Nabokov, who I really like, dismissed Jane Austen, who I love, as a child. Don't know where I'm going with this, but thre's something very interesting about it.
from metonym :
I think there's a Freudian slip somewhere around "different anger." The stuff you're saying is really similar to a lot of the things that I've really struggled with, both in the immediate past and before. I have a strange relationship to feminism because whenever I get too close, something doesn't fit - I took this course on women in the middle east last year and it was just *so radical* - I had no idea what was going on; all of a sudden all these words like 'women' and 'men' and 'female' and 'male' and 'sex' and 'gender' and 'homosexual' and a whole long list of other words - all of them had totally different meanings than I'm familiar with, that I could never quite grasp - that any *attempt* on my part to grasp them tended to result in the more well-trained feminists in the room giving me a look like I'd joined forces with the oppressor, or dismissing something I said as "the hydraulic theory" of sexuality, which is apparently invalid, but not giving me an idea of what is more correct...and then lately, reading through these feminist art history articles...it's all these women who are just *so angry* and write about people like Picasso and Gaugin without the least bit of affection - why only write about art that you hate? - and it ends up being these long diatribes about how X hates women and how all of his paintings are seemingly fit for permanent storage. But then - as you're pointing out - and as my professor pointed out - there isn't anything better - and they are serving a purpose, however flawed each example is. I don't know. The whole thing leaves me in such a muddle.
from freshhell :
Boy, we could have a loooong conversation about this but not in a note. I agree with you and have mixed feelings about all the "mommoirs" and other writings pegged as of interest to only mothers because mothers' wrote it about motherhood. Basically, though, we become central by continuing to create and be "writers" and "musicians" rather than "women writers" and "women musicians". We have to just go forward and history will include us all, equally, in the future. I really think it will happen but we might not be around to see it. This conversation would need beer, too. Now, I have to go "be a mom" and pick Red up from daycare.
from freshhell :
Plus, Beethoven is Schroeder's (Peanuts) favorite composer. And, Schroeder's always right.
from smedindy :
A couple of things. 1. In "The Real Frank Zappa book" - Zappa goes off on orchestras only wanting to play the classics and not any new music, because they may make mistakes in a new score and they don't want to sound bad. I think it's sad that no one really knows modern day composers like they did in the past. We know so much about some 'so-called' artistes but nothing about todays composers. 2. I fear that even in the genres of music I really enjoy, that without some safeguarding of the history, they will be lost for good. I think the digital age has helped, but who is going to know about The Three O'Clock when I'm gone?
from beltwaybelle :
Have you seen the short story in the October 10 New Yorker? It's called "Early Music." It's a little bit depressing (like all short stories, methinks), but you might appreciate it.
from chakra-chick :
Thanks for the lesson in Italian...that was great! Have a lovely day further! ~smooches~
from annanotbob :
Hi - I've only read the first paragraph today and had to come straight here to say please do post your ideas. I have been out of academia for so long that I've almost lost the ability to read the language and would love to read what you have to say. I enjoy your diary very much. All the best.
from elgan :
Thanks for your kind note. It’s really nice to be back, believe me.
from smedindy :
A rotary phone. Oh...my...God. Now THAT is something that my Mamaw had. At least it wasn't a phone like they had in Green Acres, though Mamaw DID have a party line for years.
from smedindy :
Psst. Autobahn was actually released in 1974, and hit #25 on the chart. The album hit #5. Trans Europe Express was 1977 and the Man Machine was 1978. That's it - that's the Kraftwerk you need! You can blame them for all of that techno 80's stuff like New Order, Yaz, and Depeche Mode.
from rs536-2000 :
i didn't realize that the Chi marathon was today--thanks!
from saucy99 :
Thanks for the note. I think it will ultimately come down to how good the psych. is. Oh, and good luck with your job search. I am in the midst of it as well and fear that it will be a year long endeavour. I just hate the job-hunting process.
from teranika :
Woohoo! Congratulations!! Having a date is wonderful. No question that you will finish and perform splendidly.
from dandlioneyes :
you will do well! dr. harri3tspy, we'll have to call you!
from dandlioneyes :
congrats on setting the date. you will whoop some dissertation ass, i promise! :-) hugs and stay calm!!!
from smedindy :
Well, good luck and all on the D of the D.
from rs536-2000 :
i hope that your team beats those Bostonians [new meaning?] to hell. and then we can be on opposite sides for the ALCS, right?
from saucy99 :
Wow. That note made no sense. Clearly I need to proofread!
from saucy99 :
I am going to try and go the game here next their playing home...if there is a next time and its not just a blowout. Imagine! Me at a Sox game! But seriously, I am really excited for them.
from freshhell :
Ha! The other night, Dusty and I went into her room to clean it up and she looked around at the disastrous mess and said, "Jesus!" It was very difficult to explain why that's probably not the best thing to utter without laughing and giving the opposite message.
from dandlioneyes :
let me join you in the chorus of hurrahs: GO SOX!!!!!
from readersguide :
pink, smiley, and I do like your hair!
from elgan :
I have a dream that someday a student's jury will actually reflect the work done in the studio.
from chakra-chick :
You may have a little artist on your hands there! Such a lovely picture...
from dandlioneyes :
what a great picture! i'll be sure to look out for trailing hearts if i'm ever in the chicagoland area. i don't think i'd miss you!!
from smedindy :
Those last few entries have been really sweet! Katie has been singing her Spanish song all day and night recently "Buenas Noches, Buenas Noches"...to the tune of Freres Jacques.
from metonym :
I was asking a Persian friend about the possible 'dar' in troubadour and she said that 'dar' is used to mean 'holder of' or 'owner of' - so potentially a 'carrier of songs' or 'somebody who has songs' - that's kind of anecdotal but still kind of cool.
from melwadel :
Not a bad day at all. Happy anniversary! :-)
from saucy99 :
Happy Anniversary!
from elgan :
I'm a little late in doing so, but here's wishing you a very happy anniversary. Pizza sounds fine to me. A little zabaglione to top if off might be just the festive touch the occasion calls for. Enjoy!
from metonym :
I could ask my prof - one of the students (grad student in med. Arab history) mentioned it and then the prof. confirmed and added the bit about the persian root. Although in a more general sense there's a book "In Praise of Song" which talks about the origins of the troubador culture in Andalusia (and pays lots of attention to how, in what circumstances and languages, on what class register, etc., it would have been spreading) & it's a really, really good book, super interesting and well written.
from readersguide :
The way people learn to read (and spell) is pretty fascinating. My younger daughter has, I think, mild dyslexia, which made it really hard for her to learn to read and to spell. She doesn't remember words as complete things -- she had to sound them out over and over again -- and spelling was incredibly difficult because she didn't have a picture of a word in her mind, i.e. she had no concept of mispelled words looking funny. Also, when I was young they taught reading, at least to some extent, by having people memorize what words look like, which would work well for AJ (and me), but would not have worked for Maddy. On the other hand, she has a really good eye for patterns, and reversed patterns and things like that -- which I can sort of do, but not instantaneously, the way she can. It does seem that brains are wired quite differently.
from smedindy :
You know, you eat enough pizza you'll get a 'doubleass" - heeeee! Happy anniversary! Enjoy it! Our wedding anniversary is Christmas Eve so we'll never forget but there's always something ELSE going on!
from readersguide :
Thanks -- I will try your suggestions!
from readersguide :
Hey, I'm impressed by your running. I think I have plantar fascitis, too -- and yet you can run? That's good to know. About knitting -- I have been working (or not working) on these socks since probably april, but it is very nice to have them done. I am quite proud of them.
from saucy99 :
Thanks for the note! It was a cool day for me!
from rs536-2000 :
The sneaker phenom is fascinating. For all the unfamiliarity, I'm glad your sneaks are doing their job. I'm about to buy my 4th new pair o running shoes this year and I feel as though someone has hijacked my brain.
from melwadel :
Aww, shucks, ma'am! Seriously, H., get Tracy's new album. Eminently hummable, but not in the "It's 3 a.m. get out of my BRAIN!!!!" way. And this from a gal who gets earwormed far too easily.
from dandlioneyes :
the, uhm, best part of these conferences for me is imbibing in something to drink, with long lost dissertating friends who have crawled out from under a rock. otherwise, i hate them. doesn't everyone?? and seeing faculty? wish me luck. that's all i can say. hey, we should have a dland academic conference with like-minded folks, regardless of discipline.... :-) .... and much imbibing.
from rs536-2000 :
sounds like a perfect day!
from eggsaucted :
I periodically check the tribune website throughout the day, so that I feel less cutoff from the world while I'm at work. I also check CNN. But the Tribune and Suntimes are all over this right now. It really is very sad.
from dandlioneyes :
thank you so much for your advice. yes, i don't think i have any obligation towards this individual to share data. getting it from germany wasn't easy -- and the individual could head out there as well.... regardless, i feel a bit threatened still, hair on the back of my neck is standing up and all that jazz. but i think i can be courteous in my response. thanks again! by the way: i'd love to go on a fieldtrip about a mailbox. i really would!
from freshhell :
To respond to your response - McCullers holds a particularly special place because, according to my husband, he was originally attracted to me because he thought I looked like her. I don't think I do, and I'm not sure that's a compliment, but he thought it was.
from freshhell :
I love Carson McCullers. I've read all her stuff and wrote a monograph of her work in college. She's one of my favorite writers of all time - and had a miserable life. Anyone that has to live in Fayetteville, NC, for any length of time (think her husband was in the army) has my sympathies.
from eggsaucted :
Saturn sounds fun! AJs field trip sounds like a trip we took in preschool, only we walked to Botany Pond (which I'm guessing you're familiar with) and of course someone fell in. It was okay too, much like N and the puddle.
from cassiopeia- :
Save a spot for me too AJ! kisses, cassie
from annanotbob :
Hello - I've been reading you for a while, having stumbled across you via the 40+ diary ring and have just added you. Hope you don't mind. It was the apples that did it. All the best
from hulabelly :
Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be able to tell my kids, "Mommy's busy for the next few weeks, go play with Daddy!" I've seen it work very well in this department, but I must admit, usually it's the wife/girlfriend doing all the supporting of the PhD student. I'm not sure how well it works the other way around. Really, I guess, what I need is a wife! ;) And good luck to you, because I don't envy you people in the humanities. In a way, having data to interpret makes writing much easier, I think, than trying to pick the brains of some dead poet or whatnot.
from rs536-2000 :
Good luck with all the diss work you have to do--think have wonderful you'll feel when it's done. Bet you never thought of that, she said sarcastically. Thanks for the note--I do need to check the teeth of the Pumpkin.
from elgan :
Of course I stand by you and all my fellow academic bloggers. Fortunately I am not really an academic, but I’m in the milieu, and I can understand the viewpoint of the writer of the article you quote. It is important, not that you cannot be identified, but that you don’t say anything you wouldn’t want attached to you at a later time. I’m sure venting about the high cost of plumbers does not in any way endanger your chances at employment.
from dandlioneyes :
thank you for standing up for academic bloggers everywhere! :) i couldn't agree with you more!
from smedindy :
Wow. That article was just wrong. I think some in academia do feel threatened by it. I know here there are some that blog - in fact, we're going to ENCOURAGE blogging of sorts in order to share information across campus.
from rs536-2000 :
We stole the young love from girls in ivory towers...I have never heard this song, though now I've read the lyrics. How fun. I am in agreement with your blogging sentiments (unsurprisingly).
from teranika :
oops, I'm beginning to think that I missed an entry of yours that expressed the same sentiments...
from teranika :
I think that I will encourage any offspring of mine to become a plumber. They are always needed, appreciated, and seemingly better-paid than any academic. Of course they sometimes have to deal with sewage...but then again, in abstract, so do we??
from rs536-2000 :
Congrats on the improvement with the exercise--I know how hard/heartening it can be. Sorry about the car and plumbing, though...hope they are minor.
from freshhell :
I meant to say DOESN'T resemble...A bit of a difference. Clearly, I need to work on my proofreading skills.
from freshhell :
As a fiction writer, I can tell you that fiction is just as, if not more, difficult because while you're "making it all up" you still have to make "true." You have to create a believability for the readers that this might actually happen. You have to create characters that are three-dimensional (not as easy as you'd think), a plot (my downfall), and a narrative voice that carries the story from beginning to end. In short, you have to create something interesting, something people want to read. I'm working on novel #2 and it keeps changing and does resemble what it started out to be. Which is probably a good thing.
from elgan :
Thanks for your note. We're just getting prerecorded music with the occasional announcement about labour disputes, so I don't know when we'll ever get to hear this piece. As for the writing of fiction, I understand your dilemma. I personally love to read fantasy and science fiction, but I cannot seem to write in those genres. Maybe that is why we are drawn to certain styles of literature, because they complete our inadequacies. I don't know if that made any sense. You know what I mean.
from smedindy :
A plumber! Why not? And I know YOU wouldn't show ye olde crack when fixing a sink, now. Too classy!
from elgan :
Battle pay indeed! We experienced the same thing here when refugees from the Baltics started pouring in after Milosovich started his ethnic cleansing.
from ilmomof3 :
We've been doing the same thing -- digging through old stuff and bundling it to send over to Veteran's Memorial Coliseum, where several evacuees are being housed.
from eggsaucted :
I'm laughing about it now, at work, where I arrived almost an hour late this morning. But god it wasn't funny last night. Could she have picked something harder to wash off?
from elgan :
What was I thinking? When we chatted last night, it never occurred to me that you don't need to find a "child-friendly" place to stay in North Hatley. Come stay with us! We have a guest bedroom with en suite shower and a pull-out couch in the next room (in front of the 55" TV). And, we're close to everything that you would be close to in North Hatley!
from clarimonde :
Hi Harriet, when I was four I used to make up my own homework to do...Whether or not AJ *chooses* to do well in school, it sounds as though he will always want to learn, just for the sake of it.
from teranika :
p.s. I burn the marshmallows.
from teranika :
Dearest Harriet, given academia, you will receive more rejections than you ever thought you could, even after the interviews. But please, apply. Rejection is a sorry name for what could also be called "putting yourself out there and getting known." You may not be offered (or even want to accept) a position at one of these places. But if you can strengthen yourself enough to avoid the inevitable, "what is wrong with me?" question that comes with rejection, perhaps you can rethink this as "what positive impressions can I leave behind?" From what you have written, I am CERTAIN that you can make that mark.
from elgan :
I confess, I too was of the setting-the-marshmallow-on-fire school. I, however, ate the whole thing, crusty carbon exterior as well as sweet, melted interior. However, I have never been able to abide raw marshmallows, or even partially cooked, as in hot cocoa. Your s'mores sound fantastic.
from smedindy :
Yum! I gotta find me my skewers!
from teranika :
Kir Royale is my favorite French cocktail..Creme de Cassis (a tart, blackberry liqueur) poured into champagne...mmmm...
from smedindy :
A double shock power Long Island Iced Tea....that'll do the trick!
from readersguide :
Absolutely right. Light brown hair. Shoes more scuffed up. Not quite so jaunty.
from freshhell :
The HTS doll looks a little too hip - which, if memory serves, she was not. Also, she really shouldn't be blonde. I agree. Mousy brown hair and a little more meat on her bones.
from elgan :
I love the doll! But you're right, blonde, at least that light a shade, just isn't right. You can always dye it, you know.
from smedindy :
I don't think I've watched CNN or MSNBC recently mainly because I know I'd obsess over it. I do click on the web every ten minutes for news, but it seems that I can handle that. Oh, the newscasting must be atrocious with all those funny names down there!
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for your note! you know, i've found that the biggest motivating factor now is the fact that i'll have to pay my university some $$ starting in, oh, about 2-3 weeks. i don't want to have to do that for more than one semester. hope all is well in chicago-land!
from readersguide :
Oh! I just read a review of that circus -- possibly in the Boston Globe -- it looked really great. It seems strangely true that Birthday parties are not much fun -- not for the host and not for the guests. Funny. And yet people must have them. Hmmm.
from smedindy :
Awwww! That's sooo cute! I'm just happy the Polar Bears haven't wreaked havoc on the school thus far.
from eggsaucted :
Yep totally makes sense. I don't think I made a lot of sense with what I was trying to say. In fact I think my whole entry ended up disjointed because everything I sat down to write sort of muttled together and then didn't come out the way I'd envisioned it in my head.
from cassiopeia- :
How fun! I wish that I could meet both of you someday too! : )
from smedindy :
And what a cute pic of the two kids. Awwwww!
from smedindy :
Wow! An actual BIG TOP! Must have been cool!
from rs536-2000 :
That's great about your brother...any news on the conf front? When I read about Zoppe it sounded great--I'm curious to hear more about it.
from freshhell :
Chuck E. Cheese is from hell. Hope you survive!
from smedindy :
Mistakes happen - you'll recover. I wouldn't fret it unless they're gonna throw you in the klink over it. (Let's hope not!) When Kristin was first born I made a lot of silly mistakes, mostly in my personal life, because I was so flippin' tired. Just get a couple of hugs and it'll be ok!
from elgan :
Thanks so much for your note and the compliment. As my husband and will both answer honestly when told that we haven't changed a bit: We did change, but now we've changed back.
from smedindy :
Hey! I was born and raised in Crawfordsville. I lived in Indy from 1991-97 and Zionsville from 1997-2004. We just moved back to C'Ville because of work and the fact Liz decided to stay at home. So greetings former Hoosier!
from smedindy :
Howdy! The good Egg recommended you. At any rate, kitchen remodeling is just gnarly. When we moved into our 'new' house (1872 vintage) the kitchen had this ugly brown carpet in it - ick. We put vinyl flooring in to best contain the stains, but now we need to decide when to get rid of the very 70's decor, including the blue wallpaper on the celing. Ick! Good luck!
from elgan :
Wow! I LOVED The Shipping News! Wait, are we talking the book or the movie? Cause the book was awesome. The movie, well, it had its moments, but then, it had its other moments too. Hmm. * strokes chin * We must do lunch sometime and discuss this in greater detail. Good answers. It was harder than it looked, wasn’t it?
from eggsaucted :
I was going to suggest that at some point we would probably need to exchange some of that information in a more confidential manner. You beat me to it!
from freshhell :
Ah, yes! We love The Muppet Show. I have a couple of multi-episode sets featuring some our favorites: Steve Martin, Dudley Moore and Peter Sellers. Dusty just loves Sweetums - the huge muppet with the shaggy head.
from eggsaucted :
Well that I can manage. Late morning should be fine with us. Her highness naps are pretty much the same time when she's with my dad, but it never works out when I've got it and it just works for us. I don't worry about it. Should we do 10:30 or 11?
from ann-frank :
Lawd, please excuse the poor spelling and grammar (along with the rambling). And I meant construction-type-things, not sites. Gosh I need to sleep. Okay, bye!
from ann-frank :
Hey there! My nephew loves, loves, loves moustrap, though he's not so interested in the game as much as he is just watching the whole thing play out. He's also fascinated by rube goldberg type contraptions. The children's museum in St. Paul has this huge marble rube golberg maze thing that he watched for like, 2 hours straight when we visited. ANYWAY, what I wanted to say, considering your families interest in the same, if you find any more cool games/construction sites like that, could you let me know? I can only find a few lame marble maze things - the names of which I can't remember. but my eyes are always on the look out, so I thought I'd put the word out (in a very long long comment, so sorry!) thank you!
from eggsaucted :
Well I am definately off work the 25th and 26th and I don't have any plans either day as of yet, but the botanic garden on the 26th sounds lovely and any time will work provided it isn't anywhere close to the crack of dawn I hate waking up any earlier on a day off than I have to get up on a work day. I also need to figure out how one actually gets to the botanic gardens from Hyde Park, since it has been ages since I was there and I don't think I've ever been the driver when I did go.
from eggsaucted :
Ah the joys og refridgerator shopping. How funny is it that her highness has an aligator shaped xylophone at my parents house? Our children's paths keep crossing even though they haven't met yet.
from dandlioneyes :
thinking of you and your family. your family is fortunate to have you, and, clearly, you are fortunate to have them. *hugs*
from elgan :
That was a lovely bio of your grandmother. Hang in there. Your mom will need you a lot in the days and years to come.
from zuzus-petals :
Yeah.. in nearly every context, ethics are situational, the environment and other factors influence ethical analysis. I think the easiest places to see that are in bioethics. A study of a new chemotherapy regimen to treat cancer, that costs $10,000/year would likely be deemed unethical if it took place in a developing nation where not only is it unlikely that people in those settings would not have access to the therapy on a community level, where people don't even have access to clean water, food or relatively cheap drugs to treat common conditions like malaria and tuberculosis. In other words, in that setting one is using third world peoples to answer first world questions. The same study in the U.S. would not only be deemed ethical, but also very welcomed. I prefer to skip the debate as to whether or not abortion is murder. While I'd said before I could just accept that it's murder - in truth it's not. It might be killing another living person, but it's not murder - which by definition involves malintent. But I meant, more precisely, that I'll skip the philosophical debate about when life begins and am more than willing to accept that it begins at inception (in cases like this, when it's not really clear - I think we're wise to err on the side of caution.) I believe in choice in living and choice in dying. And I'm not opposed to the death penalty (although something about it doesn't sit with me well.. I think it was Mayor Moscone who said we needed to question a civilization in which the only way to deal with violence was with an extreme act of violence - it gives me pause - as a society, as a civilization, I wish we could do better.. but alas.) And sometimes I believe that killing isn't wrong, and other times I believe it is wrong (although I'd say murder is probably always bad, generally speaking.) And all this heady talk is well and fine - but I hope on a profoundly personal level that you're feeling okay. - Zu
from eggsaucted :
Ok, so we're on for the 25th or 26th. Either should be fine, so lets see where your plans fall. I'm totally game for either location, her highness will get a kick out of either one I'm confident, it was my idea to do one of the two so you pick which.
from freshhell :
We've been able to pawn the tomatoes off on work friends, Dusty's preschool and relatives. Also, my mother swears you can freeze tomatoes -- to use for sauces. So, I'm going to do that. I am definitely not a canner. Actually, there's a cannery in my area that opens up in the summer and fall and anyone can come and can vegetables -- provided you have your own cans, which I don't. But....thanks for the tip. As a professional fund raiser, I'd considered the donation thing and may still do that if things get wildly out of hand. There's a foodbank in Richmond.
from freshhell :
I feel exactly the same way as you on the topic of abortion. I went through a lot of the same feelings before getting pregnant with my second child. Yes, we're poor right now; yes, I have no idea what I'll do about college; yes, life is crazy; but, I wouldn't change a thing. We spaced our kids just right for us. Dusty is a helpful and loving big sister. As for the love thing, imagine a balloon. Blow it up half-way. That's your love for AJ. Blow it up some more. That's your love for the new baby. There's plenty more space inside for new love and it doesn't displace the old love. It's just extra, like whipped cream and a cherry on top. I feel very strongly about siblings so having a second child was a no brainer but her arrival was planned. I feel very fortunate.
from eggsaucted :
Great entry! Totally unrelated topic...it's August, so when are we getting together? I'm off work August 25th & 26th...perhaps one of those days would work???
from saucy99 :
Wow. I'm not sure what to say but I think it was very brave of you to write that entry. I am pro-choice myself, though I am not thrilled with the idea of late-term abortion. I once ended up taking the morning after pill too and the side affects sucked. I was throwing up for 24 hours. Anyway, for what it's worth, even though I don't know you or AJ, you sound like a wonderful mom and AJ sounds like a sweet, thoughtful, intelligent and well-adjusted kid. If/when you decide to have a second child, I am sure you and hubby will do an equally good job and find a way to manage. Take care and hang in there.
from zuzus-petals :
I'm not sure this is/was opening up debate as much as it is telling a story. Firstly, I hear the effects of the morning after pill can be difficult and I hope you're weathering them well. My thoughts are with you. Even when we are wholly at peace with decisions we make, it doesn't necessarily make them easy to implement. I had an abortion several years ago. I too had maturity, education and support to aide me in making a choice I felt right with. Like you, I don't have pangs of regret and I know for all involved it was the right thing to do. If and when it's time to bring a child into this world and your life, you'll know - even if it's not wholly planned, you'll still know - in that way you somehow knew about AJ too. While I appreciate and respect that some folks believe murder is wrong (I'll bite, I can accept that abortion is murder and it doesn't frighten me to think that the morning after pill is "murder" too.) I don't think murder is wrong in all circumstances and situations. Ethics are situational, context does make a difference. From your words, from the clear and present love and value you have of AJ and of life, I know without really knowing you that if or when it's time to bring another child into your life your capacity to hold all that love will expand.. and what a lucky soul that will be. Take care of yourself. My thoughts are with you. - Zuzu
from elgan :
Gee Harriet, you threw open the floor for debate, but then you didn’t actually say what we were debating. However, since I am a veteran of two very carefully planned pregnancies, I will answer you in an entry of my own. If that's okay, that is.
from elgan :
That was a great entry. I love the way you write. I was amazed when you said that your hostess, S., worked tirelessly on behalf of her TWO autistic children. My god, the poor woman (and presumably her husband)! I have friends with two sons, the older of whom is autistic, and that’s an ordeal. I cannot imagine both children being afflicted. My thoughts go out to her.
from saucy99 :
happy belated birthday!
from freshhell :
Happy Birthday! Yeah, mine gets lost now that Red's is 5 days before mine. But that's okay. As long as there's cake, I'm good.
from missleigh :
Happy belated birthday! :)
from dandlioneyes :
is it really also your birthday? july 30th is a good, good day! hugs and happy birthday from a fellow leo.
from rs536-2000 :
Have a wonderful trip!! Love the Go-Go's reference.
from dandlioneyes :
hope you guys have a really fun vacation! :)
from tothefloor :
harriet, i'm a silly one and left you the wrong note message. please feel free to delete! yours is supposed to say "hi harriet, sorry i've been laying low lately. that's the best autobiography i have ever read. and the sweetest."
from teranika :
HOLY COW! yes, agreed, Harry Carey.
from rs536-2000 :
the glasses photo is the cutest aj shot ever! and that's saying something.
from melwadel :
I would write to the parents or send a donation. I'm sure it would mean the world to them that someone they don't even know took the time to make that gesture. What an awful thing for them...for anyone...to go through.
from rs536-2000 :
congrats on the proposal being done. Have a grand time at the DMV.
from ilmomof3 :
erised/desire I sent you an email -- let me know if you don't get it! :-)
from eggsaucted :
Sounds like a plan! And as long as we don't do it the week of August 15th I could even do it during the week and then the kids would probably enjoy it more without the weekend crowds. Have fun on your vacation, we're out of town for the next four days ourselves. Unless it rains incessently in which case I'm packing up and heading home early.
from elgan :
My condolences. I hope you like baseball.
from eggsaucted :
First no problem, you've done the same for me. Second THANKS! Third I am so sorry. We were at Target tonight and her highness was singing akuna atata quite loudly and then telling everyone it meant no worries!
from hulabelly :
Er, that was supposed to read "I probably KNOW him." Obviously, my dissertation has sucked up all my brain cells...
from hulabelly :
A soil ecologist/agronomist in the family, eh? I probably him! Maybe I even cited him in my dissertation! ;)
from rs536-2000 :
Hope the carnival is a lot of fun for AJ and not too stressful for you. My friend in London emailed me that to add insult to injury, someone pulled a fire alarm at the hotel she's at temporarily and everyone was outside at 4 in the morning.
from dandlioneyes :
the news from london is awful. from visiting, i know some of those stations, and i have friends in london (all ok). i'm sorry that it has hit you so hard. *hugs*
from fuschiashock :
i am never lint free.
from dandlioneyes :
i think i saw the sword in the stone at a public library too, when i was a child. i remember loving the squirrels, but being really, really quite frightened by the witch -- madam mim. how did AJ handle her? now i think i have to go rent that movie!
from elgan :
Thanks for your wonderful note. I would love to chat sometime. As for AJ, I think kids, like the rest of us, can’t be “good” all the time and must blow off steam. He, however, doesn’t have the option of a stiff drink. His only recourse is to misbehave. I hope he’s back to his normal self tomorrow.
from supermom3604 :
Ugh. I hate those days. Strangely, my kids had one too - they didn't stop fighting for a moment. Maybe it's the moon or something in the air. I think I'll join you for that stiff drink.
from freshhell :
I think "What's Opera, Doc?" is the best way to introduce kids to opera because, frankly, opera's long and boring and if there's no Bugs, I lose interest.
from saucy99 :
I watched the Live 8 concert too and had some of the same skepticism as you about it but my obsession with Bono forced me to tune in! What did you think of the part where they brought up that former starving Ethiopian girl, who in the video from 1985 was gaunt and had flies all over her face, but now (allegedly because of the original Live 8)was perfectly beautiful and healthy and studying at the University in Ethiopia. I couldn't decide if I thought that was exploitative or unbelievably powerful. I would have to say that I think it was a bit more of the latter because I couldn't help but think, "wow, that is un-freaking believable!"
from f-i-n :
That was a beautiful entry!
from elgan :
Your neighbourhood parade reminds me of the Independence Day parade we witnessed in the tiny town of Lerna when we were in Greece (the same Lerna famous for its Hydra-infested swamp, now just the home of giant eels). It was tiny. Very small children and slightly larger children walked down the main street dressed in traditional Greek costume to the accompaniment of god-awful patriotic music broadcast over crackly loudspeakers, to the cheers of onlookers, and old men wept. Also, on another note, you have mentioned many times now that AJ has an aversion to loud noises. Is it possible he has hyperacusis, or something like that?
from elgan :
I think you responded to AJ’s misbehaviour very well, much better than I would have. When I was visiting in T&T last March, I had an experience with my hostess’ little boy which was akin to yours, except there was no hitting involved. She had left us alone in her car while she went to attend to something, having just picked him up from school, and he was hyper from birthday cake and totally exhausted. He was excessively rude, called me nasty names, totally unacceptable behaviour. I ignored him, never told his mother about it, and on subsequent meetings he was an angel. It was just his tiredness. I think the only way you can avoid these situations is to try to gauge how tired AJ is BEFORE you go out since you now know that this can happen.
from elgan :
Welcome back, and I hope you're feeling better soon.
from elgan :
I'll miss you!
from freshhell :
God, yes! That list brings back memories. Two other favorites -- growing up I loved all of Zilpha Keatly Snyder's books (mostly about magic and witches, etc). We've also discovered Alice Provensen books. Dusty loves the Maple Hill Farm series. Harriet the Spy, Nancy Drew, Ramona, James & the Giant Peach, all were favorites. One of the great things about having kids is that you can read them all over again. Oh -- are you familiar with the Moomintrolls? I bought the whole series a few years ago. ALso, LOVE The Phantom Tollbooth. As well as The Crownsnatchers (German author, rare and hard to find now).
from eggsaucted :
It's really easy, I open the document in acrobat standard and then save it as a word doc instead of a PDF. Then when changes have been made you just save it as a PDF. Acrobat Standard is a wonderful program. I LOVE IT! I've had it all of 3 days and I LOVE IT! Thanks for the email.
from freshhell :
You're on. I may do a couple mini-reviews since I can't settle on just one book. I'll look over my "books read" list this year and post the reviews post haste (or, next week).
from readersguide :
[Gilead again] Yes -- you definitely feel inside someone very foreign's experience, which I suppose is natural since you're pretty much inside John Ames' head and there's a lot he doesn't even think to mention. And it is interesting to think about the different responses different persons make to different situations. Compare John Ames's grandfather's burning vision to John Ames's just kind of quietly (but stubbornly) sticking it out in Gilead to for John Ames the namessake's complete collapse in the face of arguably difficult circumstances. Hmmm.
from readersguide :
Summer reading: I've got two -- although the reviews are not actually reviews ... Here's one: http://readersguide.diaryland.com/050615_23.html and here's another: http://readersguide.diaryland.com/050520_60.html The first: Line of Beauty, by Allan Hollinghurst. A book about a gay guy who graduates from Oxford and then goes to live with the very rich, fairly conservative family of someone he had a major crush on at school. Mysterious, but definitely worth reading. The second: Saturday, by Ian McEwan. A day in the life of an English neurosurgeon. The life of a middle aged, wealthy man of scientific bent in a post 9/11 world. Like Gilead, it makes me think of Ulysses -- but really, it's not that I think that about every book! A quick read, but really good.
from eggsaucted :
Just an offer, but I have acrobat on my computer now so I can convert your PDF to word and then back to a PDF. It's quite fun.
from freshhell :
I'll have to find that book -- sounds interesting. I'm always up for a book that I can completely immerse myself in. I'm at loose ends right now and reading mainly as research for my own novel which leaves that "pleasure reading" gap wide open.
from elgan :
I hope you don't mind, but since I finally installed AOL messenger and remembered my screen name and password (that took a few tries), I've added you as you appear in your profile. Since I haven't seen you online, though, I guess you are too busy to be chatting. If you want my AIM name, just let me know.
from readersguide :
Gilead is a funny book. I'm not a Christian. I'm not 76. I really admired her ability, though, to show the world through the eyes of someone who was really steeped in that tradition. It reminded me alot of Ulysses. There you saw the life of these guys through one kind of literature, and here you see it through Calvin and the Bible. But like you I don't quite know what it's about -- other than maybe that normal life (not the heroic life of his grandfather) is in itself kind of heroic, and that it's one thing to fight obvious battles, but maybe another to fight less obvious ones. ?? I don't know --
from saucy99 :
Yes, I agree, I've clearly barely scratched the surface of the problem, its so multi-faceted. My friend who teaches at this school wanted to photocopy some article for her students and she had to go through this huge ordeal in order to do so, and ultimately, her photocopying adventure was not approved due to the budget. I'm so used to walking over to the copy machine at my job and just making as many copies as I want w/o thinking about it. The lack of resources is downright depressing. Photocopying seems like such a minor thing, but all these little obstacles just snowball out of control. Oh, and congrats to your friend! What a great thing they are doing!
from elgan :
Congratulations to your friends on the adoption of their new Chinese daughter. I wish them all much joy. They are making a warm and loving home for a child who would otherwise have a bleak future indeed. Good show!
from dandlioneyes :
what a beautiful picture that was of AJ. and i loved the description of the encounter with the mama deer and the fawn. happy summer time!
from ilmomof3 :
Suddenly I feel like having an ice cream cone...
from eggsaucted :
That is an adorable picture of AJ, her highness is fascinated! Creeping Charlie is my sworn enemy, I found some in the grass this year which irritated me to know end, but I think I've put a stop to that completely, our biggest problem is along the back edge of the property where it's creeping in and then sneaking under plants to have it way in our yard, part of me wants to hop the back fence and have my way with our neighbors yard, they obviously don't care about their yard so I wouldn't think they'd have a problem with my weeding, but with my luck they'd pull a shot gun or something. Anyway, thanks for the compliments on the pictures!
from sea-change- :
I can't even say how grateful I am that my mother works. It was a pain sometimes that my parents both have careers (more than once they forgot to arrange for someone to pick me up from school & I had to sit and wait until 7 or 8 for someone to get me), but my mom's life is a huge part of what makes me believe that women can work and achieve and succeed and all that lot. On the other side of it, every boy that grows up admiring smart, working women (which he'll do because of you) is a blessing to all the other girls on the earth.
from elgan :
There is a difference between moms who are careerwomen or academics and moms who are not, and that is that we have lives apart from our children and husbands and our thoughts are not centred on them, but on our own “selfish” pursuits. I wouldn’t worry about how you measure up in terms of this group of moms. The proof is in the pudding, AJ being the pudding, of course.
from ilmomof3 :
62 degrees? I'm jealous! We haven't seen that for weeks... and won't either. Until I go elsewhere to find it!
from eggsaucted :
It was a pretty good system and frankly on one exam I totally had a concept backwards so I would have lost quite a few points on the exam, but because I was able to explain what I had done, I got partial credit. On another exam I caught a question that he had wrong and he gave me extra credit for catching that and being the only person out of his 60 or 70 students who noticed and said something. It worked for us. I also had a professor who knew he was tough on exams that he had to make 75 and above an A, because no one could score that high otherwise.
from elgan :
The kind of grading I do for the courses I teach is extremely subjective, but is balanced out a bit by the jury performance, which is assessed by two profs who are not the student’s teacher. There is also another criterion which determines a student’s final mark in his/her performance course, and that is concert attendance. Twenty marks can be lost in this way. Therefore, I am off the hook when it comes to final marks in my courses. The blame can be evenly spread around. But my friend Pat the classicist complained that she got an email from one student who wasn’t happy with his 88% and wanted a 90%. Excuse me?
from eggsaucted :
I had a professor in college who found a way of taking into account the fact that he may have poorly phrased questions on exams or actually made an error, in that we were allowed with so many days after an exam to turn a carefully document with our arguements for our answers and he would give partial to full credit for the questions. Most students didn't take the time, but I did on everyone, helped to the professor to get to know me better and earned myself a secure A in the course and ended up with a better understanding of course material because I reviewed it even after the exam trying to justify my answers.
from eggsaucted :
What's next is finding time for a diaryland playgroup meeting. You're done with school and I'm done with the Boat opening, so no more excuses for either of us. I presume Master AJ will tolerate an ancounter with younger child and her highness adores kids fo any age. Let's do it!
from eggsaucted :
Thanks for the cocktails! WooHoo it's all over. The exhibit truly is amazing. Let me know if you want to come down. Although I wouldn't recommend it immediately, I think it's going to be a little on the busy side for a few weeks.
from elgan :
Wow, congratulations on having your paper accepted. That’s wonderful news.
from rs536-2000 :
let me know what you decide about this student. I always wonder what compels universities to accept these students. I know there are good reasons--i just wish I understood them better.
from teranika :
(1) I advise every graduate student to begin applying for positions even before the Ph.D. is finished. It distracts you from total focus, but it also helps you to frame your ideas in terms of what you would like to do next, and gives you practice at the skills needed to conduct a good job interview. (2) You already have good teaching experience and so a another position may not be necessary for your career, but it may be useful for getting yourself known. If you still feel inclined to try for it, you might consider asking your current adviser if s/he could finagle you a named appointment at your Ph.D. institution (adjunct researcher, for example) while you are teaching. I mean a position that is not funded, but indicates on your CV that you are continuing your trajectory as a serious academician - both a teacher and a researcher. (3) At our school, 12 hours of teaching equals an assistant substitute position for which you are paid a real salary with benefits. If you decide to apply for this temporary position, it wouldn't hurt to ask if this position would be a possibility, although it may mean that you are required to teacher a third course as well.
from elgan :
I must say that musicians have the best music at their weddings.
from elgan :
Go for the red, although it would not be my choice for me. I gather you must be a “summer”, where I am a “winter”. Have a great time tomorrow.
from elgan :
Yes, it's true, sometimes working at a university does feel like outer space.
from teranika :
Hi H, I know how you feel about the evaluations - I was crushed by my first until I wrote them out into "Good Progress" and "Working On" columns. Then you have the opportunity to see that the one really is just one - you gain perspective. You sound like a wonderful teacher so maybe you won't even have to deal with the one.
from eggsaucted :
A great plan! I can't even begin to think about anything until after June 4th anyway...that the sub opening day at work and it is taking up enormous amount of time at work and enormous amounts of thought after work.
from eggsaucted :
I always worry when I don't see him for a while too. I used to see him every day at exactly the same time, so now it's not as frequent, but my dad and I always call each other whenever we see him to report his status. We should set up a diaryland playgroup one of these.
from eggsaucted :
Saw your note for Saucy. Umbrella man is still alive and kicking and walking every day from Hyde Park to downtown Chicago. I see him pretty regularly, apparently we have the same schedule.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for your note. it has helped to check in every few days with a friend. i've written 5 pages this week, which is infinitely better than previously. whew, hope it keeps up like this. what is your game plan for finishing -- do you have a timeline? i'll be so happy for you when you are done! :) enjoy your weekend!
from saucy99 :
I've seen the circumcision guy outside the bookstore before too. All I can do is smile at the joys of spending so much time in Hyde Park!
from teranika :
Ooo.. thank you for your ABBA empathy. I've been boogie-ing up a storm in my living room. I haven't felt this good in a while. Why did it take me so long to discover the therapeutic value of loud cheesy seventies disco??? This stuff is GREAT! But then again, I'm sure if you heard it you would suddenly get a cold nose and toes and want to climb under a blanket...
from elgan :
Interesting you should say that. My husband was asked to lecture the liberal arts class about Beethoven, and he felt after the experience of researching and putting together his material that he would like to write a book from a composer’s point of view. I guess you can never exhaust certain subjects.
from eggsaucted :
I talk to one of the family members for which the face fountain is named on a regular basis. She'll want to hear that the changes aren't for the better. She's the cool little old lady who told me she was getting a massage last week and asked if she could call me back when it was over. I haven't been down there since last summer, but she and I have talked about the fountain several times.
from rs536-2000 :
I'm with Elgan here. I was told about sex at 3 years old in a day care setting and I [and all the other 2-4 year olds] were disgusted and horrified. I still feel resentful of it. Damn the zeitgeist of 1972!
from elgan :
There are things that, no matter how intellectually bright he is for his age, AJ is simply not yet ready to learn. How human beings make babies is definitely one of them. My daughter was 8 when I told her, quite graphically too, and it totally disgusted her. Four is definitely too young. However, you can start giving him biology lessons about the reproduction of other critters, starting with mitosis and working your way slowly up through the invertebrates and other phyla. Actually, a really good place to start would be the reproduction of plants, since we can use the analogy of pollen (sperm) and unfertilized seeds (eggs) and there are tons of great pictures for him to pore over. That should keep him busy for a while, anyway. But it’s important that you simply divert him with other information, not let on that discussing these things makes you uncomfortable. He would pick up on that, for sure. And, if this is really not working, there is always the stork.
from elgan :
Wow, I love the Irish pipes. Anyway, here’s a website you might want to check out for your 20th-century music lecture. Tim is a fellow U of M graduate of A’s, and his music is surprisingly similar. This is an excellent example of the “Michigan sound”, the legacy of Ross Lee Finney. http://www.colleges.org/%7Emusic/composers/kramer.html
from elgan :
Happy Mother’s Day, Harriet!
from eggsaucted :
Since you know as much about Northern Illinois plants as I wish I knew. I bought a plant today that they said was Catmint, but now that I've looked at it and googled it I think I really got Lamium. Do you know if they're similar at all? I have lamium already, but this little plant I got today is hard to identify, next to my sprawling lamium plant. I was excited to get catmint and now I'm not so excited. Unfortunately not of the photos I could find online told me conclusively what I had.
from eggsaucted :
Did I mention I bought the only cherry bell plant they had today? How funny.
from eggsaucted :
Ok, I don't know what ribbon grass is. But I'd love cherry bells and monarda. My violets are actually almost gone...I shortened their life this spring while I was trying to do some other stuff where they grow, but they'll be back in full force next year. Oh and I have my fill of day lillies and hostas, well is it actually possibly to get ones fill of them? She was not real sure on riding in the wheel barrow until mommy got in and went for ride. She helped me steer it out of the store today, which she is really to little to do, but she loved helping.
from eggsaucted :
Well if you ever need ferns or violets in the future, I have more than I know what to do with.
from eggsaucted :
We went to the Plain Dirt Gardeners Sale in Batavia this morning, to buy peoples extra plants and it made me wish I had brought some of my extras. I have ferns and violets up the wahzoo, which I love but they have also become unruly.
from eggsaucted :
I had a wonderful professor in college (who was in fact a graduate of the school for which you are currently teaching) I hit a rough patch my last semester and one of the worst weeks of my life coincided with an exam in her class. She was perhaps one of the toughest professors I had in my college career and I could have accepted the lousy grade I got just out of fear. I instead went to her and explained my whole situation, she was not only understanding she bent over backwards to give me another chance on the exam and I turned a D into A. Students so often get intimidated by their professors and that usually wasn't the case with me, but it could have happened and now I've gone on and on and well you get the point!
from sea-change- :
my advisor is the same way - he's always worried about whether or not he did a good enough job giving a lecture and he'll sort of prompt us for reassurance afterwards. He's also *hyper* prepared for every class. He's on his 2nd year of tenure now so who knows if things will change, but I think it's pretty cool. (although, simultaneously, it can also be difficult)
from melwadel :
Thank you, h. I do appreciate it.
from supermom3604 :
Awww. You made me cry at work.
from elgan :
You know, I love solo violin music. I think it’s all in what you consider work and what you consider play. Anyway, thanks for your great notes. I have tacked your cwydd llosgyrnog on the end of my entry. If I get other submissions, I will put them there as well.
from rs536-2000 :
While reading your entry, I was reminded of my current flashback situation. I am taking the mother to see Streetcar Named Desire for Mother's Day. After buying the tickets, I remembered that when we read it (in 10th grade) ALL the boys in the class felt that Blanche was asking for IT and deserved "whatever she got." The ageing [male] hippie who taught the class was clearly dismayed, but had no tricks to pull out of his hat. It was a bad sitch.
from elgan :
I wish I could say something helpful about your dilemma regarding the teaching of opera. The truth is, even though I am a singer, I have never really liked opera, probably because I have always felt discriminated against whenever I auditioned for one because of my height (or lack thereof). However, you are quite right in your assessment of Don Giovani (didn’t PDQ Bach write a version called "The Stoned Guest"?) and if it is going to be presented at all, it shouldn’t just be the pretty arias that one learns, but the terrible moral and just desserts. As for Wagner, I have always found him terribly tedious (I kept falling asleep in a performance of Parsifal at the Met [I think I told you about this already] and when I woke up, nothing on stage had changed), and much prefer his non vocal music anyway. So, I'm not much help here. Personally, I think the Bugs Bunny reference is probably your safest bet.
from sea-change- :
no no! That was a fun entry! I liked it! It's true - I think the point about Don Giovanni is a propos. The first thing I thought when I read it was, "Uh, but the hellflames..." but it's true that you have to see the whole play or opera to get to that part...just a little snippet here or there could be really offensive. And I *do* think that things like the orientalism of Aida or the anti-Wagner polemics or the date-rape etc are really important not only for keeping people interested but for getting us to think about the ways that art and life are interwoven, and asking questions about whether or not art is a mirror for life or a catalyst, whether artists are a cause or an effect...and all the stuff about genius and its various imperfections. If you don't already care about art, it's one way of figuring out that it can be engaging; and if you do, you need to be aware of the pitfalls.
from elgan :
Awwww, “Goodnight soccer ball”. That is just adorable. The only sport Buddy Boy ever played was little league baseball at age 10, which he insisted on, and it turned out to be a total disaster. I hope AJ’s team sport experiences are good ones.
from rs536-2000 :
that is an incredibly cute picture. he looks like he things it's going to get away from him any minute.
from elgan :
The neighbourhood I grew up in in Toronto has turned into McMansionville, my mother’s house surrounded by enormous, sun-blocking monstrosities. I hate it. My father did say, though, that he had never paid so little in heating bills, since the neighbours protected him from the harsh winds of winter.
from rs536-2000 :
Thanks a lot for making me do a projectile ejection of my grapefruit juice. It sounds disgustingly hilarious at McPlayPlace
from saucy99 :
I want a kid just like AJ! He sounds so sweet and adorable! Not to mention very smart and thoughtful.
from dandlioneyes :
i am so sorry about your tom-cat. as a fellow cat-afficionado, who had to put my childhood cat to sleep a few years back, i know how it feels. a big hug.
from elgan :
I wish to add my condolences on the passing of Max. It must be a very hard thing to say goodbye to a pet who has been with you through thick and thin like that. Vale.
from saucy99 :
Harriet, so sorry to hear about your cat. I know how sad it is to lose a pet. I personally get very attahched to pets. I remember when my dog died in college who I had throughout my childhood I was absolutely miserable for almost a month. I still get sad when I think about her. How is AJ handling it. It can be really tough for kids too. Hang in there.
from supermom3604 :
Aw. I'm sorry. Being that we didn't ever have pets until I was fifteen, I have yet to lose one. I'm not looking forward to that inevitable heartbreak. ((hugs))
from rs536-2000 :
YAY!!
from rs536-2000 :
the castrati should be interesting. i'm curious to hear that that comes out.
from elgan :
Thank you so much for your note. It is truly difficult to be honest and forthright and not insulting when a student has incurred one’s wrath in this way. The symphony is going to be recorded by CBC and when I find out the broadcast date, I will let you know. You can tune in and listen on their website. Very convenient.
from supermom3604 :
My Nickolas has suddenly become quite the caretaker himself. Bedtime has become a ritual that involves tucking in not only the child, but his Monkey, his Boots (from Dora the Explorer), his Blue, and his blanket. Then I have to kiss and hug them all, and God forbid if I miss one! Then he tells me that "Boots is sad, Mommy. He needs a kiss NOW." I wish this phase lasted forever, it's adorable.
from eggsaucted :
I think my mom and I figured out what everything was based on the bloom report at on the arboretum's website. But thanks for confirming. I love going to the arboretum and haven't gone in ages so yesterday was lots of fun. They open at 7am, so we were there bright and early and got to have the place to ourselves for a little while.
from sea-change- :
One of the best books I've ever read about the ethics of getting involved with your informants is "Tuhami" by Crapanzano. He's an ethnographer in Morocco studying this guy (Tuhami) who thinks he is married to a demon, and over the course of his study Crapanzano comes to really care for the guy. In the last chapter, when he is getting ready to get up and go home for good, he's thinking about how to say goodbye to Tuhami and what his role is and how he can behave ethically both professionally and as a human...he ends up doing something very interesting, and it's one of the most beautiful & bittersweet pieces of anthropological literature I've ever read.
from eggsaucted :
It is a relatively nice day...wish I could actually see out our window. Where's your office on campus?
from eggsaucted :
I had a BCBS plan two jobs ago and I had no problems with it other than you can't go to the U of C anymore, which had always been where I went it being in the neighborhood and all. But I've accepted that 90% of insurance won't let you go there and I've moved on. But Kevin's company flat out lied to us about what plan they were signing him up for, so we filled out the paperwork based on their lies and found out this week her doctor isn't covered by that plan. We filled out the paperwork two months ago and had we known anytime since then we could have made adjustments, but now we have to wait 10 months for Kevin's open enrollment and 11 months for mine. My insurance from when I had her is giving me headaches and as it was it got screwed up initially and I had to wait forever to go to my first appointment so that I'd have coverage and wouldn't have to pay for all of the pre-natal out of pocket. Insurance, you've gotta have it, but you can't stop hating it. Hope tomorrow goes well.
from sea-change- :
I am by no means knowledgeable on the subject, but from the little snippets I have gleaned here and there my guess would be that a lot of landscapes/paintings of animals, etc., are made by literati painters, and a lot of literati painters are literati painters because they've separated themselves from the central government & the imperial styles that go with it...so a lot of these seemingly innocuous paintings are full of political symbolism. I've attended a lecture that talked about paintings of starving horses & something to do with images of the state/country as being decrepit or in famine or something like that...a lot of people think that Chinese painting is pure naturalism or something, but of course it's not.
from divamel :
letmein; dammit
from elgan :
Sorry, it's taken me a little while to comment on your apres-conference entry. I totally agree with you about the political "correctness" issues regarding ethnomusicology. A lot of soul searching has been done on the fact of whether the act of recording the indigenous music itself does not in some way change it. At the conference I was at last spring, the ethnomusicologist said that the musicians were aware they were being recorded for posterity, and so played differently than they would have if unobserved by outsiders. The issue of "patronization" is a valid one. We come to indigenous peoples with set ideas and feel ourselves to be "superior" because of our "advanced" culture, but is this really true? Maybe the people we have come to study feel superior to us, because we are ignorant of their ways. This makes a very interesting topic for discussion.
from elgan :
Wow! What treasures! I was getting a little weepy reading your entry.
from elgan :
That's the problem with listening to music in the car; anything with dynamic contrasts gets lost in the engine noise. There's nothing like good old rock and roll to make a long trip go by faster.
from elgan :
Those little blue flowers are called silla or cylla or something like that, and I love them. I wish they would just take over my front yard, they look so cheerful coming out of the grass for the brief time they do.
from rs536-2000 :
All the best luck. You're an excellent speaker, you love your topic, you have a good sense of humor and your students should be thrilled to have you there. I can't wait to hear about it.
from zuzus-petals :
Happy birthday to AJ!
from elgan :
I have not read Kathryn Davis’ book, but it is on its way. As soon as I got your note I ordered a used copy from Alibris.com, and will have it by the weekend after next. Thanks so much for the suggestion.
from elgan :
Not to be sounding like a noodge, but actually my husband (who is aware of my incredibly high opinion of your musical opinion) was wondering if you had listened to our concert CD yet and what you thought. Please don’t feel pressured!
from eggsaucted :
I didn't really have my notes turned off, it was one of the wonky things going on with diaryland. I have to figure out something and also settle with the idea that she is going to be in a big bed sooner or later and that will mean having to deal with her being able to get out of bed.
from eggsaucted :
There is a whole long explanation of how the particular poses are supposed to highlight different systems of the body. I think if I had taken her highness elsewhere, she would have been just as infatuated as AJ, but our destination point was Idea Factory for yesterdays visit. I figured since she only going to be here for an hour that was the perfect spot for a visit. Hope you guys come again soon. Let me know next time.
from eggsaucted :
Read your entry! I'm not a huge fan of the exhibit either, although it sure draws crowds. Her highness was at the museum today as well, but we only went to one exhibit, "idea factory" I still thought AJ would enjoy being able to look at the bodies in a different manner than any book would show him. Next time you come down at least let me get you into the museum and bypass the lines!
from elgan :
Okay, I cannot let that challenge go by unanswered. I had just finished updating myself when your post showed up. I was going to leave you a note earlier on your musical entry, but time constraints prevented me from doing so. Maybe I'll do the quizz tomorrow, it looks like something I could actually answer.
from eggsaucted :
Do you have DSW out your way in the boondocks. I know there's one at woodfield and Geneva Commons. Neither exactly in your neighborhood. I never fail to find good shoes at great prices there.
from rs536-2000 :
i'm such a sucker for aisle numbers...
from eggsaucted :
They don't recommend the exhibit for kids his age, but it's up to parents. I really don't know why a kid like AJ couldn't handle it seems exactly like the kind of thing he'd love. It gives an excellent perspecitve on all of the inner workings of the body in a very scientific way without being scary or gross. I could see other 4 year olds who couldn't handle it. I will gladly get you into the Museum if you want to come down, tickets for bodyworlds take an act of god to procure as comps and I haven't figured out how to do it yet. But I could at least save you the price of general admission. Hmmm construction on the east end. Well we're done putting the sub in the ground I do know they're playing around with something out in the east parking lot, but I'm not sure why. They wanted all of us to park their last monday and then changed their mind because they were doing construction, but never explained what the construction was supposed to accomplish. So sorry it remains a mystery.
from eggsaucted :
Well you can envy my proximity to yummy thai food I envy your proximity to the great outdoors and your backyard. If only they would move the museum to the boondocks, I too could have a backyard and be missing yummy thai food. You list making field trip and county museum sound like great fun. Did I tell you about the new exhibit at the museum? They don't recommend it for young children, but I think AJ would actually be interested in BodyWorlds.
from clarimonde :
Bon courage, harri3tspy. I am sorry to hear what you feel is the absence of concrete criticism on your works. But from your previous entries (re: your advisor's last-minute suggestions on your paper last month), I think that you may be forced to wait until the entire document sits in his hands before he is capable of being more constructive. This thought may be daunting to you, but remember from your previous experience with your paper: your writing *is* good. It is acceptable to the broader academic community. I am sure that you will not turn in a pile of rubbish! My parents always emphasized one phrase to me when I was finishing. The thesis is submitted "in partial fulfillment" of the Ph.D. Partial fulfillment. The other requirements tend to be courses, public discourse, and various other university hoops - but most importantly you are developing as an independent thinker, a thinker who sometimes knows better than the adviser what the right answer is! If you remain in academia, you will write many other, even BETTER texts than this thesis. As for your writing styles: I am in a different discipline than you are, and the goal of natural scientists is clarity: short sentences, jargon only where necessary. You must use these words in someplaces, but I personally do not feel that it is a crime if you want a broader audience to understand you. If your committee wishes you to put in the jargon later, then realize that with text editors these days, this is not a complicated process. You sound like you are grappling with the final issues of finishing, which is a wonderful sign! You are sooo close! You can do it!
from teranika :
Although it's clear that my grad student experience was very different from yours: the grandest experience of my life was moving beyond the shackles of my Ph.D. to a completely new research job. It wasn't all roses, but I LOVED being free of committees and professors! There is a possibility, Harri3tspy, that life could just get better! I love to hear about your intellectual empowerment. I only learned to disconnect myself from my science many years after my Ph.D. It came only with the self-confidence to recognize that "I" was not the same thing as "the data." We are dealing with very different fields however. I only hope that you are never afflicted with some of my students...
from teranika :
GO HAIR SLUT! I'm all for promiscuous hair.
from zuzus-petals :
YES! It's spring! And those were of the desert bloom in Joshua Tree, near Palm Springs - not even the everything that's green and relentless in these parts - where I live. More to come! In my garden the Candy Tulips are strutting their feathers and everything is wildly colorful already. ((I contend that Spring is this place that you either are or are on your way back to - the first step away is the first step on the journey back - like the Mayan notion of "home.")) I spied some wild orchids yesterday - the first time I've seen them in these parts and now I'm on a hunt for more...
from ilmomof3 :
Dang Diaryland anyway... I didn't get the notification of your guestbook entry. It wasn't me that recommended a book on Gullah culture, but you're probably already figured that out. Sorry!
from rs536-2000 :
do you remember this song by the Bobs? I've been singing it to myself: I'm a prisoner of funk (ba ba ba ba)...got a jukebox for a brain (ba ba ba ba)...what happened to the way it used to be, Lord set me free, let me wake up a(gain)...WAKE UP NOW, GONNA DROWN IN THE FUNK, WAKE UP!
from slywy :
I love Rikki, Don't Lose That Number mainly because it evokes a time. There are a lot of songs like that. Regarding: 4. Silly Wizard, “The Queen of Argyle” – This song, by a Scottish folk duo (now defunct and at least partially deceased) was the song that got me into Irish music (yeah, not the most logical progression). My roommate the year after college was responsible for introducing it to me and her annoying boyfriend exhibited one of his few redeeming qualities by playing a nice rendition of it on the guitar. Silly Wizard was at least six people, more or less, at various times. The Queen of Argyll is what got me hooked on them, along with the rest of a tape a friend gave me -- but that song in particular. You can learn more about Silly Wizard on Gordon Jones's Web site at http://www.harbourtownrecords.com/silly_wizard.html
from rs536-2000 :
YAY! congrats on the acceptance. Caffeine is a friend--no dissing caffeine!
from elgan :
Although Hubby assures me that I am in no position to advise you, I will anyway. The paper is a good one, your prof already assured you of that. However, the changes he recommends are those HE would make if HE were delivering it. You are getting to the point in your degree where you have to start trusting your instincts, and that means relying on your own sense of scholarship. You will find out from experience whether his comments should have been followed or not. But, as it is, you will probably be a star nonetheless!
from rs536-2000 :
I AM SO JEALOUS! [but i think of him as "vevet joones"] i loved those sketches.
from elgan :
I thought it was funny!
from chicagojo :
Thanks for helping support the wildebeests and the American Cancer Society with your link!
from elgan :
So true. It takes hearing about other peopls’s troubles for us to appreciate how trouble-free our own lives are, as I pointed out in my entry yesterday a propos my friend Stu’s children.
from elgan :
It's interesting that you brought up Dvorak's "New World Symphony". After hearing the Brahms double concerto last night, both Hubby and I were humming tunes from the New World, since the one was so greatly influenced by the other, and we heard similar-sounding tunes in the other that most definitely influenced the one. And you're right: That little mnemonic device fits perfectly!
from saucy99 :
I still can name all the states alphabetically because of the song, "Fifty nifty United States, from the thirteen original colonies!" Just curious, are you teaching your class to undergrads or grad students?
from divamel :
The ring only has superpowers with straight men. Gay women consider it a challenge...
from elgan :
Funny you should ask! The Latin for wombat is "noony". No, just kidding! Wombats are Australian marsupials in the family of Vombatidae (plural feminine), hence one female wombat would be Vombatida and her mate Vombatidus (if she has one, that is).
from elgan :
I think learning Italian is an excellent idea. It's much less complicated grammatically and genderwise than Latin, and the case system has been replaced by prepositions. Plus, when you go to Italy, you can actually use it! Congratulations on getting your paper done.
from zitagsd :
Wow, I love your idea of making dh use clues to find his present. How original!
from eggsaucted :
I have no idea when valentine's day exploded as it has. I only remember bringing in valentine's for classmates nothing more. Since when did people do stuff for their co-workers?
from elgan :
Sorry about the Latin exam.
from cassiopeia- :
Hi Harriet,*** How are things going with your research for starting AJ in school early? We are hitting brick walls everywhere we turn. Cassie soon will be tested for an IQ level to help push the issue and I am also writing to Geb Bush about the school systems in Florida. My husband found this interesting link:*** http://nationdeceived.org/*** I have a question for you, if you do not mind... Is AJ actually reading, or is he reciting from memory? Is he spelling as well? Okay, that was two questions! I know that children can be taught to read as early as age three. We have not worked with Cassie on reading yet. She can write words, including every letter in the alphabet. Right now her reading skills are limited to matching words with a card game I made. The words are simple, like bed and shoe. Presently she is much better at writing than reading.*** Another question I have is about AJ and sleeping? Does he sleep well?*** I am not comparing children mind you. I am only trying to become knowledge d on a subject that amazes me! I hope I can keep up with my daughter.*** Thanks so much! Sincerely, Sandy***PS) Your email address bounced back, that is why I am writing here.
from elgan :
Good to hear that you're feeling better.
from anamomda :
Second hurrah for "Puppy Bowl" - I managed to tape an hour or so of those scrappy little rovers romping and chewing and sloshing, and my 22 month-old daughter loves it! Hope you're feeling puppy-perky better.
from eggsaucted :
Sorry to hear your bug still has a hold of you. Mine seems to be of a different although still unenjoyable strain. But I'm going to try and tackle work tomorrow. I no longer have a fever, chills or body aches, hopefully I can control the intestinal distress to enough of an extent to brave work. Glad you were able to get out today.
from elgan :
Hang in there, Robert Frost!
from elgan :
My daughter became enamored of all things Egyptian at an early age, and several years ago embarked on a self-conducted course to learn heiroglyphics. She gave up, of course, because it just got too hard, but at least she progressed farther than her aunt did (using the same book). You might enroll AJ in a Coptic language programme. That would be the first step.
from eggsaucted :
Yea Yea Yea...I've heard that before. Ok I totally understand and figured that was the case, but it is part of my job to help engage people with this charming institution.
from eggsaucted :
Oh sure you're in Hyde Park and you go to thaaaat museum! Just kidding. Glad you enjoyed it. I used to go to the OI frequently and I haven't been in years. But then I hardly to go any museums anymore other than the one I work in.
from chakra-chick :
Thanks for the comment dear! Hope you and your family have a wonderful 'groundhog day'. *smooches*
from anamomda :
hi. another (more than just a) momblogger here, currently working my way through your archives. really like all i've read thus far. you're good. thanks for that. .r
from dandlioneyes :
sending echinecea-filled thoughts your way. and zinc, and vitamin c as well. keep getting some rest!
from rs536-2000 :
funny--i read that article and I felt, once again, that since i have no baby/child, I don't count. I'm sorry you felt dismissed for the opposite reason, but i'm interested in our reactions.
from elgan :
Get well soon, and that’s an order!
from saucy99 :
Fever of 106????????? Dear god, take care of yourself and hope you feel better.
from dandlioneyes :
that's just atrocious. reminds me of a simpson's episode where they all went to a "pick your own steak" steak restaurant, and they'd kill the bull for you right there. homer changed his mind 4-5 times, meaning 4-5 bulls lost their life. *shudders*
from rs536-2000 :
In my opinion, you should teach him the Rocky Horror "Janet" song...Although probably where you live, "DAMNIT!" might be enough to get you and AJ arrested.
from zuzus-petals :
Ah ha! Expect the unexpected and you'll be fine!! (I had no idea I'd put this picture on an umbrella, but I've learned to expect the unexpected so I suppose it wasn't unexpected at all! My, what a lovely brolly!) I so jealous. I want to be a woman of unquestionable reputation and scribble in notebooks and play shuffle board with the Wilsons (and eat bon bons while taking in the fresh salt air.) That should have be ME! - Zuzu
from saucy99 :
Have you read any of the Harry Potter books? In the last book one of the metaphors for death is "behind the curtain."
from rs536-2000 :
I Love love love AJ's "behind the curtain" line. That's so great.
from teranika :
Dear H - I'm just now getting around to reading your entry. I appreciated your taking my questions to heart and giving such a thorough and thoughtful entry as a reply. The more I listen and observe, the more I conclude that childrearing is entirely individual (and therefore for there are millions of books telling us the "right way" to do it.) In fact, I don't think I will know how I will react until I'm there. My colleague's situation bears out the notion that each family's agreement is individual. I make observations about her husband's behavior, but I am not on the inside of the arrangement. We had a gentle discussion this week and she is contributing much more. I just hope she isn't killing herself in the process..
from missleigh :
I'm glad you're feeling better so quickly! Rest up, now. :)
from elgan :
Thank you for a very insightful entry. We could keep this up for a long time, methinks. I know that my husband would probably prefer that I keep him out of my diary as well, but he is such an important part of my life, and especially since my children are moving out from under my protective wing, that I cannot gloss over him.
from rs536-2000 :
As usual, you've handled a difficult question very thoughtfully--it was an interesting read.
from teranika :
I'm looking forward to seeing your thoughts. Because I've observed the same phenomenon with many of my female friends with new babies. K and I are thinking of kids and so I am curious about what will happen with us.
from teranika :
OK - I had to reread mine. No, I don't really mention my partner all that much (he is, of course, living in Germany so it's kind of easy not to). But I asked the question because of the outside perspective one gets. As someone who doesn't have children observing my female friends with children: the husband really does seem to vanish, either from action or from thought, when a baby is born...
from teranika :
Hi H - I'm glad to hear that your husband is invested in the project. I hope that you don't take this the wrong way, because I really don't know you so well..but I have just reread the last ten entries and there is no mention of your husband's participation with A.J., and I found it interesting that you rarely mention your husband or your interactions with your husband, and AJ is at the center of every entry. It makes me want to go back and revisit my own entries to see how frequently I mention my own partner..and more so it makes me wonder about the perspectives that one sees from the outside versus what the people feel is happening in their daily relationships.
from teranika :
Just wanted to say that I found your entry very interesting. I've seen the same reports that sea-change mentions. The things to keep in mind is that the average also has a standard deviation - not everyone fits the general trend that these studies pull out. I'm always glad to read about married women with children who are happy. On the other side of the curve however: I'm currently working with a woman who seems to be constantly left holding the bag. She recently told me that she would like to work nights after her husband and baby were asleep so she could concentrate. But her husband complained that her coming into the bedroom late woke him up, and disturbed his sleep, and that he had to focus on some "very important" things at work...In fact, I never hear his name mentioned in association with the child. This makes me very sad.
from sea-change- :
They've done studies that use a whole variety of different characteristics as measurements - they've used IQ tests taken when the women were just girls; they've used income; they've used advanced degrees. They all come out with more or less the same results. I don't know about race, but I think that with some of the studies might be handicapped by the age of the women they're studying (they're long-term studies so they're tracking an older generation). Also, the thing about women being more distressed in marriage - that is not correlated to intelligence. It's true when you compare married & non-married women in similar categories across the board (i.e., w/ or w/o children; w/ or w/o a job; smart or not smart, etc.). I want to read more about it.
from saucy99 :
Are you sure AJs only three?! I most certainly did not know the difference between orbit and rotation or the order of the planets at that age. Plus, I *still* need to recite My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas, to remember the order of the planets! I understand the dilemma you were facing. It sounds like he is wise way beyond his years.
from rs536-2000 :
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who identifies Shakespeare comedies in this way!
from eggsaucted :
Saw a great production of Measure for Measure at the Court Theatre a number of years ago, probably more than 10. My annoying manager is trying to get me to go see a play she's helping to produce and she just doesn't understand that I don't get to do grown up things very often and if I do I pick them very carefully.
from ilmomof3 :
Sounds like you have a Joss Whedon in the making -- one of the things I love about his writing is his innovative use of words. I think I'm going to start using quicking in my house too... :-)
from elgan :
The DaVinci Code is at this moment sitting on a bookshelf, unread, because I fear that, like you, I will be totally sucked in and rendered inoperative until I finish it. I got it as a promotion to rejoin the BOMC (why do I let them suck me in?) and it remains a reminder that they own me until I fulfill my “contractual obligations”. Sounds like the mafia, doesn’t it? Have you picked up my package yet, by the way?
from chakra-chick :
Thanks for your thoughts dear. It really does mean so much to me. *smooches*
from dandlioneyes :
yeah, it would be the raleigh-durham area. thanks for the info on that. i've never been, but somehow the idea of a place where we could afford to buy a house (as opposed to the bay area, which i love, but where we never in a million years COULD buy anything) is appealing. it has just been on my mind lately, you know? how are job applications etc. going for you? fingers crossed.
from dandlioneyes :
i do miss the winters, you know, but only every once in a while. on a day like today, being in california isn't half bad. do you know much or anything about north carolina? we might move there (hubby job possibilities) - any idea what it would be like there? have a good start to your week!
from eggsaucted :
I came from a dewey school all the way and while the school know focuses almost exclusively on it's college prep nature, some of the dewey parts are still visible in the lower grades also a lot of part of montessori education. I don't have an actual problem with the montessori practises and ideas, although I've met some teachers I didn't particularly care for but I also really like some. We sometimes had combined age classrooms in school and it worked but I can't see it working well with 3-6yr olds. It would be fine if all 3 year olds were as developed as AJ, but many aren't many are still "babies" and I can't see putting her highness into a classroom like that. I like the ideas of learning by doing though. I don't have any intention of putting her highness into the school I attended, which doesn't have a two year old program anyway. The Waldorf School is only a year old and well I told you my hang up about that, it's called the child's sunflower garden, they have a website. There is a jewish day school that offers a two year old program, but as a non-jewish child it's a lot to swallow, I'm not biased I actually had friends that went there when we were growing up. There's the parent cooperative, which is all about playing, but they just got a new director after years and years of a different director and I've met the woman on a few occassions and for whatever reason she just irritates me, plus the parent coop asks an awful lot of parents including doing things like laundry. I want to be involved in her highness' education, but some of their requirements are a bit much, especially since I am essentially doing this solo. The amount of playgroups and the like that are available based on my schedule are really lacking, since I can't do weekdays. I want her to get the interaction and to take some of the burden off my dad, but since I relatively limited to staying in the neighborhood, it's becoming problematic. But since I live and work in this neighborhood I am certainly not going to cart her way up north or where ever everyday. I feel very stuck between a rock and hard place.
from odalisk :
I was put into kindergarden a year early...I guess it worked out for me academically but I do wonder if that played into the fact that I was so socially miserable throughout my childhood. 0.02.
from elgan :
I was going to suggest going the Waldorf route, but see that someone beat me to it. Intellectually, I'm sure AJ is well beyond his peers. Emotionally, though, as you say, he's still your baby and remember, it wasn't so long ago that you were moaning about never getting him toilet trained. I agree with supermom. Let him start school with his age group, and his teachers will notice his brightness and do whatever is necessary to keep him challenged and interested. If you have the money, private school (which tends to have a higher academic standard) is an option; if not, then you can supplement his schoolwork at home. We gave our daughter math skill-builder notebooks to work on, and she loved them. There are solutions!
from saucy99 :
just a thought from a non-parent so take it with a grain of salt...As long as you don't overtly brag about AJ, ie, "my kid can read, can YOURS??, AJ has an IQ of 243, what your kids IQ? oh, just 125, sorry" I wouldn't worry about appearing like a show-off. Frankly, if others think you are showing off from the mere act of enrolling AJ in kindergarten a year early or speaking to an educator about it, I would tend to think those people might just be jealous. I can see your dilemma though.
from eggsaucted :
Well I certainly don't envy you. Finding a preschool program for her highness is proving to be just as tough. I thought we had great programs in HP and I'm not impressed, especially for the 2 year old programs. At the same time I want to her to get some opportunities to interact with other children, so maybe I'm just stressing over it too much. My mother works for a montessori school and they've been pushing me in that direction, but for one the school in HP doesn't take 2 year olds, the one my mom works for is almost in evanston and I'm not lugging her that far, plus I'm not real fond of classroom breakdowns being 3year old to 6 year olds. I just think theres too much developing going on and too big of a difference between a 3 year old and a 6 year old. We have a new Waldorf School but even though I liked the teacher I just can't go that extreme and not feel like a total hypocrit. So I do not envy you and will be interested to see what direction you do go with him.
from supermom3604 :
As a former gifted child (in these school districts) I was put in kindergarten at five, right on schedule. When my first grade teacher noticed that I could do the classwork in my sleep, I was double promoted to third grade, which worked out really well. Also, my brother attended a magnet school, but that was when we lived a bit closer to the city. I don't know if there is a magnet school up in the boonies by us. If there is, it sounds perfect for A.J. Instead of being pulled out of class for magnet activities (like I was, which always made me feel strange), the entire class is advanced.
from bettyalready :
Hey thanks for the GB entry. Babies are cool! I hope for some sleep soon. Everytime I sit down, I fall asleep and drool. It's really pathetic.
from eggsaucted :
Is it really that cold out already? Or is it just up by you? I know we've been getting snow like stuff for a long time and my head feels like it's about to explode from the rapid temperature changes. Stay warm!
from odalisk :
oh, that sounds perfectly believable to me - exactly the kind of thing I'd do. But I'm a total scatterbrain. I do think it's sometimes really hard to understand what it's like to have a mindset that is just totally, totally foreign than your own - I mean, it's hard to imagine what it'd be like to be a man, and it's hard for me to imagine what it'd be like to actually have a brain that didn't toss out and cross information like a bag full of yarn.
from elgan :
No hurry. It’ll keep. I was going to leave you a note about your and AJ’s snowman, but I thought better of it at the last minute. It’s been too cold here for snowman building. When I picked my daughter up tonight the mercury was at -17°C. I really hate winter.
from saucy99 :
I think I know what you might have have seen today in the winter garden. We are currently in the midst of Graduate Business Council (our version of student government) elections. What you saw may have been some stunt to get votes. Though I may be totally off on this one...
from saucy99 :
Unfortunately, I was not on campus today so I can't explain that bizarre sight! Glad you like the food in the business school, I like it a lot too but I wish it were a bit cheaper. Have you ever tried the Divinity school? They are located in the main quad and they also have good (and cheap) food. One of these days I am going to see you on campus and not even know it!
from odalisk :
That's exactly the CD I bought back in September! I can't wait to hear a review from an expert. And I want to hear more about Handel. I've always thought he was dull and stodgy; please, correct my misconceptions.
from elgan :
THAT's why we have kids! I knew there was a reason! Happy sledding!
from elgan :
"Ocean in a Harmonica" would made a GREAT name for a rock band!
from zuzus-petals :
I hope I can live up to her glowing review - it's a little intimidating!
from dandlioneyes :
you know, the only thing that doesn't work with that analogy is that, uhm, dissertation writing isn't that enjoyable. perhaps the thinking part is, but the writing? ack! stay warm in all that snowy weather.
from dandlioneyes :
i think i ultimately prefer stage 2, though it is the most fattening of the three. i've been making a lot of savory food recently, and happy as a clam because of it.... if you have extra energy and want to clean other people's houses, however, feel free! ;) hang in there!
from saucy99 :
You hit the nail on the head with the three phases of procrastination. I feel like i'm always ikn stage three!
from zuzus-petals :
I love your 100 things about you!
from eggsaucted :
How does stage three work when the thing you're procrastinating doing is cleaning house?
from purplebanana :
Reading this makes me so happy I'm not doing my doctorate anymore.
from elgan :
The weather here too has been treacherous. If you do skate home, please be careful. Two family members took tumbles on the ice already, my husband just on his way to get wood from the shed, and my daughter walking home from the university this morning.
from elgan :
Happy New Year! Sounds like a fabulous dinner; now if only my matter transporter were working, I could just beam myself over for some of that dessert! All the best for 2005!
from rs536-2000 :
I've been thinking of Columbo also.
from elgan :
Wishing the entire harri3tspy household a very merry Christmas and a great rip and tear. Don't trip on any of those cars, okay?
from chakra-chick :
Hi there dear. I hope that your Christmas dinner goes well. Just wanted to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas. Enjoy.
from elgan :
My son loves playing Monopoly! Unfortunately, as soon as the properties have been distributed and the "wheeling and dealing" begins, I quickly lose interest and wander away.
from omnipre5ence :
Do you like ironing? My mom does it because it "relaxes" her.
from elgan :
AJ reminds me of my daughter around that age, trying to get the neighbour boy to play "Peter and the Wolf" with her: I'll be Peter, you be the hunter! This stage doesn't last forever. Soon he'll be into heavy metal and thrash music. Heaven save us all!
from rs536-2000 :
Congrats on the proposal acceptance. I feel a bit jealous of AJ--he sounds like he knows a lot about music already!!
from elgan :
How nice to know I am not the only one who is not finished sending Christmas cards yet. I feel vindicated. Congrats on the paper proposal acceptance.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks! so far, we've had a quiet morning with my brother in law, overlooking ontario and state from the 17th floor. it is FREEZING out, and though i had plans to leave the apartment, i'm thinkng my california-tempered body might not be able to tolerate it. though going to marshall field's and getting me some frango mints sounds awfully nice!
from dandlioneyes :
you know, i think part of it is also ethnic/cultural identity issues that i am going through. my last name is german; my husband has a turkish name, and i just think my first name sounds better with my german last name.... but now i got a brand spankin' new driver's license here in california, and it has two last names on it, the german and the turkish, no hyphen. i'm okay with that. academically, i'll just use my maiden name. my nom de plume, as it were. and my married non-hyphenated name? i guess that would be my nom de guerre, then! ;) anyways, good luck at the holiday party. i'm okay with the post-doc thing not working out; it will make job decisions easier for my husband, and then i can refocus wherever we end up. plus, we soon want to start a family and i wouldn't mind a buffer of time....
from elgan :
Your package is in the mail.
from missleigh :
Aww, thanks. ;) I still gaze lovingly at the pictures of the cake. I may have one enlarged to 11x14 for the bedroom.
from tcklyrpharsn :
hey! I'm actually not back... sorry for the confusion. I locked 'er up while I'm archiving and backing everything up. sorry! xx.
from chakra-chick :
Thanks so much for the advice dear. 'll definately give it a try...I'll let you know how it goes.
from rs536-2000 :
A title: the need arises?
from elgan :
That was absolutely hilarious. Swing choirs must be an American phenomenon, I never encountered them here. Hence, what are "jazz hands"?
from odalisk :
three inch screw. tee hee!
from rs536-2000 :
Another non-grown-up here. Yesterday someone giving a thank you speech said: yup, there's a lot of wood in Oklahoma...and I giggled thinking of all the erections. Glad to know I'm not alone.
from supermom3604 :
Don't worry. I'm not a grown up either. I still giggle every time I have to say "package" for work. You'd think I'd be over it by now, but no. "Package." Tee hee.
from elgan :
Yes, I'm with you: latkes rock. Thanks for your note!
from cassiopeia- :
We haven't gotten Cassie involved in charity work yet. There was a food box at Thanksgiving and every day it was out she took something to put in it for "People who don't have enough food to eat." I think that was a good start. I need to inform her why she gets to put money in the bucket where the people ring the bell yet...presently she just thinks that is for fun.
from dandlioneyes :
talking about plurals, do you know pete seeger's version of "english is cuh-ray-zee"? if the plural of goose is geese, shouldn't the plural of moose be meese? if it is true that a teacher taught, shouldn't it also be true that a preacher praught? anyways, here's a link to the lyrics. AJ might enjoy the song, or it may prove to be more befuddling. http://home.earthlink.net/~jimcapaldi/englishcrazy.htm
from dandlioneyes :
jonathan strange and mr. norrell. i'm not completely convinced yet about how good it is. but reading seemed like the perfect thing to do on an utterly miserable, rainy day.
from eggsaucted :
She rejects juice and might sip water and so far has only showed an interest in playing with juice pops. If she has a sore throat she isn't showing any signs and certainly doesn't have the words yet to tell me. The only body parts she knows are nose, mouth, eyes, ears, cheeks, head, and toes. Thanks for reinforcing my belief that I'm doing my best. My mom's been sick almost two weeks, so I know I can expect her highness to have it for a while, but I'm hoping for her to be well enough for a day to get her christmas pictures taken.
from grrlgenius :
That's really great about you and your friends. I wish me and mine had kept up contact. I really miss them. No one knows you like your oldest friends.
from elgan :
Ah, how I envy you. Both my kids gave up their afternoon naps at 2-1/2, my daughter timing it very badly because I was four months pregnant with her brother and needed that downtime desperately.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for the joining the diaryring. all in an attempt, for me, to procrastinate! hope your week is getting off to a good start!
from saucy99 :
You cut down your own Christmas Tree?? Wow. I'm very impressed!
from eggsaucted :
Hopefully I'll make it back to Oak Park before christmas and with my camera and get a picture of the little tikes nativity scene!
from elgan :
We play every year (the kids absolutely hate it) an LP we picked up from an estate sale, "Sing Along with Mitch" Christmas carols. Ho ho ho!
from eggsaucted :
Got spam from a unique sender again...had to pass it on: oleomargarine q. leon
from elgan :
Thanks for the note. The Fanshawe happens on Friday and Saturday (eep, so soon!). Keep your fingers crossed for us. When A brings home the G4 from the studio, I will make a couple of MP3s for you from the electronic concert. Where would you like me to send them?
from eggsaucted :
Kevin admitted to me a few months ago that he loved the little house books as a child. So I would say it should be a safe choice. Her books are wonderful stories even if she was girl! Glad thanksgiving turned out ok and not freezing!
from elgan :
Have a very happy Thanksgiving Harriet, you and your whole family. You could always leave the oven on and open and just serve dinner in the kitchen.
from supermom3604 :
Oh no! What rotten timing! If you need a good heating service, call Lea Heating (847)428-6660. They are the best. (My daddy works there, so of course they are the best.)
from chakra-chick :
Thanks so much dear. I just checked out the site and registered for their html101 course which starts on the 1st December 2004. Thank you so much for the info. Take care ...xxx...
from chakra-chick :
Thank you so much for the note...it is really appreciated. Thanks for the offer to help- I will definately take you up on that! I'm so incredibly clueless when it comes to web-site design. I'm thinking about changing my template instead. I know D-land has some customised ones, but maybe I'll brave it and try to design my own. I'll definately let you know if I need any help...I probably will! Thank you so much. Hope your Thanksgiving and Xmas meal preps go well. All the best...
from grrlgenius :
Your family sounds so fun! I love to watch kids play with blocks. I remember doing it and I remember my younger cousin who obsessively kicked down my block structures. I would have choked her if Grandma hadn't caught me, I think. We get along fine now.
from elgan :
I'm with supermom on that one. I never ascribed anything to that other than the knocking down of block towers. But then, we've been there, haven't we?
from supermom3604 :
Perhaps because I have a three year old named Lukas who likes to knock towers down, I never would have made the leap to adoration or the WTC. See how child-centric our minds get?
from melwadel :
It's actually a *really* good bag. I thought I'd have to sacrifice quality for message, but this bag rocks. It might be too small for you to schlep all your books/papers/laptop, etc. in, though.
from rs536-2000 :
"you knock my towers over?" really? here does he get this stuff from...you don't even have TCM, do you?
from odalisk :
I read your entry after I finished reorganizing my books and before I wrote about it. I thought it was a little jinxy that I'd just decided to write about the same thing, but I guess I was all the more interested...I was talking to another recently married couple recently who just went through their combined book collections and weeded out the duplicates. It sounded traumatic. Have you ever read The Man Without Qualities? Because there's a whole section on libraries in there that is just amazing, and also somewhat painfully apt.
from elgan :
It's nice to have you back!
from dandlioneyes :
i laughed out loud about your computer's "spa trip". ha! if it wants to meet me for dinner, you can have it get in touch with me!
from elgan :
A CD was made of last night’s concert, and as soon as I figure out how to make MP3 files, I will email you something.
from elgan :
I am SO proud of you!
from chakra-chick :
Hi there! All the best for your trip- make the most of it! Hope you fell better very soon. Take care!
from saucy99 :
Have a good trip and feel better!
from elgan :
I know that you will have an absolutely great time. And don't worry about AJ. You've heard the expression "out of sight, out of mind". It is truer for the wee set than for their parents, but you will stop thinking about him long enough to enjoy yourself. Go be a grownup!
from dandlioneyes :
good luck at the conference - i hope it is intellectual stimulating and that the job schmoozing goes well. have fun! we'll be glad when you are back.
from eggsaucted :
She was great last year and she wasn't usually very good about other people holding her. Santa doesn't need to come close to her and she screams bloody murder. I just don't get it. But I laughed out loud when I read that you punched him in the nose.
from rs536-2000 :
40's musical? I'm afraid it sounds like Cpl. Klinger to me!
from dandlioneyes :
still tweaking, but thanks! glad you like it. me too! :) i'm going to be careful and not put food out at night anymore. when i lived in hyde park as a kid (apartment building on 54th and kimbark), racoons would climb the drain pipes and stare in at our windows. NOT fun. hope you enjoy your weekend.
from odalisk :
What you wrote is more or less what I've been thinking about all day. It's hard to know what to think. I think that's why I'm so fixated lately on the idea of breaking the country up into like, four or five small countries where everybody can do their own thing. Because governments have come to regulate the social body, and people should have the right to live in the world they want to make....I think this is why I've given up on compromise to such a great extent. I don't see it happening.
from saucy99 :
hi there, I started to write you a long note in response to your entry, but it got too long and I decided to make it an entry of my own. All in all, I totally agree with you!
from elgan :
In years past, we used to get carloads of kids being driven to our neighbourhood from Sherbrooke, I suppose because their parents felt it was safer than the big city streets. Then our own street had its share of little folk, but now we seemed to have slowed down to a trickle. Oh, by the way, you NEVER tell trick-or-treaters to help themselves! And now you know why.
from odalisk :
talking too fast is my biggest problem too. I'm thinking of taking drama classes in the next couple of years to get drilled on it.
from odalisk :
Why did you decide to get him circumcized? The more I think about it the more I don't understand the whole idea. At least these days, with all the soap in the world.
from elgan :
Here's wishing both you and AJ a rapid recovery.
from saucy99 :
The milk bottle idea made me laugh. AJ sounds so cute. You'll have to post pictures of him in his bumble bee costume.
from chakra-chick :
Hi there. Glad to hear that AJ has now settled on something...I'm sure he looks adorable in his costume. Can't wait for you to post those pictures of him wearing it. Have a luvvly day (",)
from odalisk :
well, a milk bottle would be a pretty original costume.
from elgan :
A milk bottle? Seriously? You get milk in bottles still in the mid-west? I am scratching my head in disbelief!
from odalisk :
Hmm. I think the difference is that the money is anonymous and much harder to trace, harder to keep still. Toys, especially well-worn ones, have the mark of their owner on them; they're easily identifiable. They don't blow away with the wind, like money does. They have pretty specialized places where they are used, whereas money is used pretty much everywhere. But giving the money to charity is a nice gesture. Good karma.
from rs536-2000 :
You write the term "Underdog" and my brain sings: "speed of lightening, roar of thunder, fighting all who rob or plunder..." I think that was my first exposure to the word "plunder". It sounded better then than it does now.
from elgan :
I have always known the term "underdog" for running under the swing, but I have never mastered that technique either, nor wanted to. The cartoon Underdog was probably on when I was a kid, or around then, but I never saw it, although I remember the name.
from chakra-chick :
thanks for the note...i love reading about your life too! I hate the fact that we don't celebrate Haloween here in South Africa. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to don a costume and go 'trick-or-treating'...I did wear a costume once though, but it was for a friends' Christmas party- I went as Cleopatra. It was fun to dress up... Have a wonderful day further...
from over25revue :
yyyyyyyyyourrrrr revieeeeeewwww is ready to ruuuuuuuuumbllllllllllle! sorry about the wait. and the wrestling reference. i sorta had to wrestle with your review. love,
from dandlioneyes :
btw, i never wrote about the consulting thing. if you are curious, i can send you an email about it. turns out, i don't think i could stomach doing that sort of work, thought the $$ would certainly have some appeal. most of all, they expect you to be away from your family a lot, and i just don't want that. traveling 4/5 days a week, and then possibly going in on weekends? no thanks! yo ho, yo ho, an academic life for me!
from elgan :
We not only have snow poles, which are nowhere as nearly elegant as yours, being just wooden sticks topped with orange flags, but we also have hydrant markers because the snow gets so high that they become quite obscured. Ah winter. How we love to hate it.
from rs536-2000 :
i love the idea of AJ sounding like Kathleen Turner--that really made me laugh!
from cassiopeia- :
Hello, I have sent you two emails, are you getting them? Take care, Sandy
from odalisk :
I think I will get over it eventually. But I'm also trying to be patient with myself. I don't think there is a point to writing when you don't have anything important to say. Outside, of course, of my diary. And you're right; I know that Arabic is my daily struggle with my own mediocrity, and it does me a world of good. Both because I have to deal with the fact that I'm not good at it, and also because I have to work on a sort of alien kind of achievement: time, practice, hard work instead of native facility. Having that in my life keeps me (at least a little) humble, and as hard as it is there is something liberating about it, too.
from chicagojo :
Thanks for the b-day wishes! As for the definition of "fo' shizzle," it's in my guestbook. Saru-san probably defined it best.
from elgan :
AJ’s incompetence at writing as opposed to reading has nothing to do with his intellectual abilities, it is all tied in with motor skills. Ditto with drawing. As his body matures and he passes the Piaget developmental milestones, he will find himself capable of tasks heretofore beyond his reach. It is an unusual child who is reading at age 2.5. Most do not learn until they start grade one at age 6. But physical development and brain development seem to run on different tracks. They will soon catch up with each other.
from elgan :
I LOVE Harold and the Purple Crayon, a book I didn't discover until someone gave it to our kids as a present. It is absolutely brilliant.
from odalisk :
I don't have a poncho/capelet/etc., because I fear that they will quickly become an embarassing item of clutter in the average closet, but I do like them a lot. I feel like they're more like a hands-free scarf; they provide just that level of extra-but-not-too-much warmth, and you don't have to go through an elaborate wrapping/knotting/over-or-under-the-elbows ritual, like you do with a scarf or shawl.
from eggsaucted :
Well make a plan with AJ and get your butt down here and let me know when and I'll leave you tickets for the whole works. That's scandelous that living in Hyde Park and all you never came over here. Although I'll admit that prior to working here I had been here only twice in 13 years. But I came very often as a child, growing up close to what used to be a free museum.
from elgan :
An interesting coincidence: when I clicked on the poncho link, the new background was the same blue as your diary background. Did you have to hunt high and low to get it just right? I agree with you on the whole poncho thing. They are just plain stupid, frivolous garments, only slightly more utilitarian than the rage in tying a fringed scarf around the hips, which serves no purpose at all, except to perhaps attract attention to that which should be left unnoticed. I do not pretend to understand fashion trends, which is why my own closet is full of clothes I have had for up to 20 years (maybe more) which do not go out of style because I am a cheapskate.
from saucy99 :
Funny you should talk about ponchos, I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with my girlfriends where we just shake our heads in utter amazement, none of us get it, none of us understand how this has come back with a bang and none of us are willing to jump on the bandwagon either!
from eggsaucted :
Oh sure don't mention the MSI archives or the Field Museum Archives. Mmm Hmm....sure. You can get into those museum free too. Well actually I'm not sure using their archives gets you in free, but I know people. ;) Great entry about archives. I can't believe Chicago Archives Week is almost over.
from odalisk :
Somerville! Where did you live? That's where I am now.
from eggsaucted :
I have a fancy dress to where, but I'm not wearing it in the archives. I as mightly amused when we got a brochure from our collections department. It was supposed to tell us about our archives, because this is chicago archives week, but I'm still not real sure what the point is. The brochure is fascinating though, in a totally pointless and out of the blue way.
from eggsaucted :
Hey thought you'd want to know that Mayor Daley declared October 10-16th Chicago Archives Week.
from saucy99 :
I loved the picture of AJ with the purple N on his face, especially as an NU alum and avid Wildcats fan! I was supposed to go to the game on Saturday but ended up just watching the last half of it on TV. Given the outcome, I wish I had made it there!
from rs536-2000 :
hope you feel better. It's nice to know that someone else out there is feeling the hassle of the clothes dilemma!
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for the encouragement. ;) yes, i agree, i suppose i'll crave master-planning at a certain point, but it does feel good to have something written: don't get it right, get it written! do you want to stay in the chicago-land area, or will you apply for jobs across the board? if you are in the mood for a postdoc (you'd have to apply next year, it is already too late this year), there is a stellar one in harvard that is good for 3 years, no obligations except to "develop professionally". they pay well. if you are interested, i can send you the link, otherwise look for the harvard junior fellow program. your advisor needs to nominate you. alright, m'dear, hope your day is treating you well!
from dandlioneyes :
my only connection to habermas, btw, and it is a tangential one, is that his daughter is a prof in goettingen, where i lived last year. might have run into her on the street for all i know! ;) hope things are going well for you. night night!
from dandlioneyes :
hey - i never actually thanked you for the book recommend. i read it about 2 weeks ago, and it was, indeed, helpful. i'm still finding that i am putting other, unimportant things first. for goodness sake: pickles? not necessary. but i felt the need, and it is turning me into an unproductive-crazy-lady. anyways, hang in there with the AJ thing. i worked for 4 years in childcare and acting out really is a way of asking for rules. hang in there!
from elgan :
At the risk of sounding like a totally authoritarian parent, I think you probably could put more controls on AJ without any detrimental effects. It just means saying "no" more often and NOT GIVING IN when he throws a temper tantrum or gets particularly annoying. I never ever had a problem with either of my kids being bullies (they were in fact the ones more likely to be picked on, at least in kindergarten) because I think they were truly concerned about being punished for incorrect behaviour. We just never let them get their own way. It wasn't a matter of being a control freak, it was for their own safety and for the convenience of adults who would be caring for them in our absentia, like baby sitters, school teachers, etc. I don't think my relationship with my children has suffered because of my "meanness". In fact, I think they respect me for having stuck by my convictions.
from evetron4000 :
hi. I'm eve. I thought you might like to know I think I'll be starting up again.
from dandlioneyes :
saw your banner. ;) i liked it!
from elgan :
Just in case you didn’t get my messenger note, I have added your new user name and await our next accidental convergence. You should get a notification of it and my user name when you next log in.
from teranika :
Dear h, thanks for your lovely note. I'd like to recommend a good book: Ms. Mentor's Impeccable Advice for Women in Academia by Emily Toth. She is occasionally witty and very wise in the ways of academic politics (and especially for people in humanities, I think). Good luck!
from dandlioneyes :
hey there! i'd gladly say yes - except it wouldn't be fair. you've written so much already, and i'm just beginning. but if you are ok with that.... ;)
from eggsaucted :
Just wanted to thank you for leading me to H & J. They were great. My dress looks great. Now I just need to survive tomorrow.
from elgan :
Belated Happy Anniversary! It sounds like you did it up just right. My Israeli sister-in-law will be hunting up coloured leaves to bring home with her when they visit here.
from supermom3604 :
Ah yes, the inner workings of the three-year-old mind. I laughed out loud. He sounds like such a great kid.
from elgan :
This was an absolutely brilliant entry. Maybe I can say that because I am a fellow musician and relate so totally. I have my own Parsifal story to tell. In 1984 Hubby and I were in NY to see the Met's production of Lulu, and since we wanted to get our "money's worth" out of the trip, we also saw Parsifal on a different night. We were sitting in the "gods", and I was exhausted. In the scene where Kundry is supposed to be seducing Parsifal (I had done my homework and read the libretto beforehand; she is supposed to be lying on a divan wearing a sexy harem costume), the two singers were standing at opposite sides of the stage, and there was no suggestion whatsoever that a seduction was under way. I kept falling asleep, dozing off, and waking up again, and each time I looked back at the stage, NOTHING HAD CHANGED! I think I am completely cured of Wagner now.
from dandlioneyes :
congrats on the productive meeting with the advisor. ;)
from dandlioneyes :
it wouldn't be so bad if i had been productive recently. but last nights' burst of writing was the first productive snippet in a long dry spell; ergo.... developmental psychology is, incidentally, a very highly regarded journal (my mom is a psychologist, only reason i've even heard of it). i wonder if yahoo botched up their report? thanks for your note!
from elgan :
Regarding math ability and musical training, I have proof positive that it makes a difference. I never had early musical training, it more or less started after I had already hit junior high, and I (as a result?) struggled with math all through school. I also had a hard time with music theory at the conservatory and in university because musical relationships are often quite mathematical in nature, at least in common-practice tonality. My husband, who is a theorist/composer extraordinaire, was really good at math all through school, although he didn't really begin formal music training until he was 10 or so. On the other hand, our daughter started playing violin at age 4, and is brilliant in maths and sciences. Her career path appears to be down that road. Our son, who started piano studies around age 5, finds math extremely easy, although he doesn't particularly like it. It is interesting to note that neither still formally studies music, and he has given up the piano in exchange for the electric guitar, while she still plays her violin, but in an acoustic band. Upon rereading this, it just occurred to me that my husband’s two older brothers both had piano lessons during their formative years: one became an electrical engineer, the other an electrical engineering technician. His sister did not, and she went into the health sciences. Interesting.
from harri3tspy :
Alas, I am right handed. Or, rather, I write right-handed. I'm left-handed in many other respects. I fractured my left thumb in college when, while heading down the stairs from my Russian class on my way to my violin lesson, I slipped most spectacularly on a snow-covered patch of ice. My first instinct was to keep my fiddle from hitting the ground, so while hurling my violin case into the air with my right hand, I landed on my left. I discovered, as a result of the injury, that I button all buttons with my left hand. I never noticed it until I could no longer use it. This injury, fortunately, is much less severe. It's swollen and painful when it touches something wrong, but otherwise doesn't bother me much. It is hard to hold onto anything, though.
from elgan :
Wait a minute, aren't you left-handed?
from elgan :
Oh no! That must hurt a lot. Your right thumb no less. It reminds me of the time Buddy Boy shut the car door on Little Princess’ hand as we were picking her up from a violin lesson. Thank goodness it was *after* the lesson and not before.
from elgan :
I've done a little bit of research for you. Here's a URL that might be useful for reporting your problem: http://add.yahoo.com/fast/help/us/my/cgi_feedback I hope this helps. In the meantime, you could set up a Hotmail account and download MSN Messenger. I actually prefer it to Yahoo Messenger even though it is not as versatile. Simpler is better in my books. I'm really, really sorry you're having all these problems with your Yahoo account. At heart I am a luddite, and deep down something is saying “See, I told you so!”
from eggsaucted :
The board members are actually not so bad. Although one of their secretaries thinks she's too good to talk to me. I'm actually enjoying being a part of all of this. But I have one manager who works for my boss who just annoys the you know what out of me. She has all year. It's her work style and the way she talks to me and the way she reacts to things. I told Kevin the other day that if the ball killed me or if I went to prison for killing annoying manager that he needed to make sure to tell her highness that I loved her very much.
from eggsaucted :
Lots and Lots of stress and anxiety! I think I'm ready for it to be over. Everything will get done. I will see the top of my desk again someday and I truly believe the world would be a better place if I accidently pushed annoying manager off the roof.
from elgan :
I'm really sorry to hear that. There must be some recourse. Can you still log into Yahoo from their website? Or are you totally locked out?
from elgan :
Maybe panelist or participant would have worked as well. But discussant is good. We can always augment the language. I have no problems with that.
from elgan :
I don't know the tunes to too many musicals, but Oliver! is one in my repertoire, thanks to having performed many of the choruses in my highschool choir (which was, as you know, when dinosaurs still roamed the face of the earth). I'm sorry I haven't seen you on Yahoo recently, and now I know why. You could always open a Hotmail account and get on MSN. And then you'd have 73 email accounts! I was intrigued by your use of the word "discussants". It sounds a little strange to me, but I can't imagine anything that would work as well.
from divamel :
My persona wore combat boots and muscle shirts and went stealth as a student until the kids got good and worked up about who the prof might be. Then I'd reveal myself. Ah, what I wouldn't give to be able to do that again...
from elgan :
Speaking about de-eroticizing the classroom, my husband has come home often complaining of female students who will not cover their bodies properly, and how distracting it is for him as a lecturer in a situation like that. Unfortunately, there are no dress codes for students, and it is only profs who are made to act as though they are totally oblivious to temptation and sexual display.
from rs536-2000 :
I'm so glad you posted today. I loved reading about the eroticized classroom. Sometimes I think you single-handedly keep me away from applying to a PhD program. What a good friend!
from odalisk :
the grass is always greener. Young and eager can also mean fumbling and erratic (ahem), and older students are often steadier, more focused...a lot better positioned to really maneuver themselves. But I do think it's true that women with a family are at a serious disadvantage. And that's just wrong.
from supermom3604 :
AJ sounds like such a funny kid! You definitely had me giggling with his bathtub song.
from elgan :
Ah, Little White Duck sitting on the water..... I loved both the Burl Ives and the Danny Kaye versions, but I still have the latter on tape. I'm sure the former is on one of those colourful 45 rpm records I remember from when I was a kid.
from rs536-2000 :
Thanks for the posting--I did what I had hoped. I'm tired and pleased wth the outcome. I think you'd like the tri--there's a Chicago area tri also. Lot's of little kids were at the race cheering their moms--it was terrific!
from starflowr96 :
Feel better soon!!!
from dandlioneyes :
feel better! allow yourself a little bit of rest....
from elgan :
Oh, my gut aches in sympathy! I hope you're feeling better soon. Maybe AJ could paste his new flag, pole and all, onto a nice piece of paper where he could then draw people saluting it. May as well go all the way. Good luck!
from elgan :
Harriet, honey, may I recommend a little something that might solve your early-morning rude awakenings? Teach AJ how to tell time. Install a large clock in his room where he cannot miss it. Tell him that if he wakes up in the morning and the big hand is not yet and the 12 and the little hand is not yet at the 7 that he must play quietly in his room until they are. THEN he can come and visit you. I feel exhausted just listening to how many times he wakes you before 6 a.m.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for the book recommend. i did a search on amazon for it ("how to write your dissertation in fifteen minutes" - leaving the "a day" away - how is that for funny?!), and i'll buy it. i'm just at a loss with what to do, how to start, and to cut it down piecemeal, as opposed to the "ohmygodihavetowriteabook" panic wave that comes over me. thanks so much!
from elgan :
You reminded me of the time my daughter insisted I cut her hair (she was three) because she wanted to be “just like Emily”, and I obliged after first making sure she that that was what she really wanted. I must say I did a great job, and she looked adorable with a very chic coif. But she immediately grabbed the ends and cried, “Put it back!”
from eggsaucted :
Ok is it weird that my dad used to sing me that song when I was a child. I didn't understand a word of it, but I loved the tune.
from saucy99 :
That was a great poem/song you posted. Lately I find watching the nightly news so incredibly emotionally and physically exhausting. And I'm glad you liked the pictures from Greece. I've been meaning to post more but the second year students that I met at GSB weren't kidding when they told me that this was going to be the busiest time of my life. Jeesh!
from eggsaucted :
That sounds perfect and my mother works in the Garland Building, so I know eggsactly where it is. I'm just really nervous about this dress since well I spent a lot of money on it and if they screw it up I'm screwed. Thanks for the suggestion.
from dandlioneyes :
i loved your description of AJ's non sequiturs. honestly, it is how i feel at the moment too, my mind jumping from 1000 things to the other 1000 things on my mind.... hope you are doing well.
from odalisk :
you're going to have another child? Egads. I never minded being an only child, but these days I do get a wistful little feeling whenever I think about having a brother or sister.
from elgan :
Boobs (among other things) are probably why I gave up running. Sigh. Thanks for your note, much appreciated.
from kilowatt :
"Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well." ~ Voltaire ~ Thank you for adding my site to your list of favorites. I am so pleased that you like my site. I thank you for your support. May your day brim over with beauty.
from elgan :
The separation anxiety of the parent never ends, unlike that of the child. It never gets any easier to see your little one grow up and "separate" from you, even though this is a necessary and desirable development in his life. There ought to be parenting books written on this subject, because it is much more traumatic and longer lasting than anything children experience.
from elgan :
It seems that every diarist I read who is mid-dissertation is suffering from the same feelings of inadequacy that you expressed so eloquently just now. I wonder if this lies at the back of my own reasons for not attempting that road myself. I always used my growing family as an excuse, but was there something else that held me back? I'm not going there now, having finally got that adult space you speak of back. But it's a ponderable.
from elgan :
Welcome home!
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for the good wishes. and hope you are riding out the storm ok!
from elgan :
Wishing you luck. Hope you get out of there okay.
from rs536-2000 :
good luck--keep me posted.
from divamel :
Ah, the road past Big Bone Lick and the French Broad. Makes me wistful for home, as you are obviously vacationing in the territory where I grew up and still refer to as "home". The stories I can tell about those steamy Southern summers...
from elgan :
That paragraph about life itself having more interesting stories than anything you could think up could have been written by me! This is a problem that I come up against when I try to write fiction, it somehow just doesn’t ring true, whereas real life provides so much that just has to be dressed up a little for presentation.
from laili-6 :
What tragic stories. So sad. But what a wonderful way for Mrs. Timons to say goodbye. And what a prick for doing that to someone who already feels so vulnerable. There's so much in those stories. Have a question for you- do you write much fiction?
from elgan :
What a charming, bitter-sweet story about Mrs. Timothy. It made me misty-eyed. Then I was incensed by the advantage bad guys try to take of the elderly and your mother’s recent experience. I’m so sorry.
from odalisk :
Man, reading that letter of yours reminds me so strongly of being 19 and living in New York - or, alternatively, just of the way that at the oddest times and places, when you need it most, people will go out of their way to be kind to you.
from elgan :
Wow, what a great adventure!
from cassiopeia- :
Thank you for the nice note! We survived, we were lucky...the storm turned at the last minute. Whew! kisses, cassie
from elgan :
AJ’s mimicry of adult behaviour reminds me of our own experience with Little Princess. Around the age of 2 or 3 she was having difficulty performing some task and said in the cutest little-girl voice possible, “Oh piss!” This immediately necessitated the curbing of language in the house, which we succeeded in doing for many years.
from dandlioneyes :
i worked at a day-care center for years, with toddlers, and i found that potty-stuff in general worked better in groups. as in: one child loved going to the potty, and would make others realize that it was "cool". yes, peer pressure for going to the bathroom. maybe cheesy, but another idea: do you have that "everybody poops" book? to make it seem more normal to him? hang in there!
from elgan :
Scatalogical indeed! My oh my I'm glad those days are behind me! Good luck getting through them. Don't worry, this phase doesn't last long.
from dandlioneyes :
no happy medium, that's for sure. i wonder what happens when the cord is cut and we march away with a brand spankin' new phd? do we stop asking for advice? probably not. the whole thing just boggles my mind.
from elgan :
Nice flowers. I am green thumbed with envy!
from elgan :
That was such a beautiful story about the cave tree. You could probably market it, in fact. I was touched by your relationship with your brother; it reminded me of mine when we were kids, and it is all the more poignant now since he and I have not spoken in over 4 years. Thank you for sharing your childhood experience with us.
from elgan :
Your entry reminded me of all the computer games Buddy Boy and I used to play together with him sitting my lap: Lawn Zapper, Cannon Fodder and Pinball, to name a few. We still play Pocket Tanks, a higher tech version of Cannon Fodder, but the days of him sitting on my lap are gone forever. Sigh.
from pinyon :
What a great day! My very first grownup job was in Chicago at Leo Burnett Advertising. I had forgotten how nice Chicago is in the summer. Your entry took me back to walking along Crescent Beach, and goofing off in Lincoln Park, expecially at the zoo. Thanks for sharing.
from pinyon :
Thank you for the welcome note. I look forward to sharing with others in similar circumstances. Very few of my grad student friends are planning on pursuing a career in academia.
from eggsaucted :
Park District idiocy is not hard to imagine. I worked at the Garfield Park Conservatory for a time and that place has an amazing history and no good way of conveying it. It's a miracle the building was saved and wouldn't have been if it were up the Park District. I'd give credit to the Garfield Park Conservatory Alliance, but they are not exactly high up on my list of favorite people and their attitude sucks, even if they did help to save and preserve the conservatory.
from eggsaucted :
MSI opened in 1933 in conjunction with the opening of the century of progress. It was essentially an unfinished building with one exhibit the coal mine. But they negoiated with the Century of Progress to give them all of their science exhibits after the fair. The building had sat empty since the Field had moved to it's present location in 1921 and had been slated for demolition. My grandmother grew up in hyde park and told stories of going to the building to throw rocks in the windows and here how far down they would go before hitting ground and the U of C frats had an initation ritual that involved climbing to the dome and painting the frats initials. Renovation was done thanks to Julius Rosenwald and the City Park Department floating a bond which they then used most of to do other projects like soldiers field and grant park. So Rosenwald gave us more money but we still didn't have enough to finish the inside. In fact in the 30s or 40s we closed down for a few years and did the interior renovation making it similar to what you see today.
from elgan :
I love the way your write, Harriet, and I am definitely putting Fortress of Solitude down as a must-read.
from eggsaucted :
For the non-studious type I am facinated by archives and have made up wonderful excuses at both my current and last job to get to do some work even very minimal with the archives and histories of the two institutions.
from missleigh :
I'm glad you had a nice birthday! Happy Belated :)
from supermom3604 :
Happy Birthday harri3t! I hope whatever they have planned is wonderful. Enjoy your day!
from elgan :
My daughter had incredible selective hearing (and still does, for that matter) and instead of arguing, I just put my foot down and said NO and clamped my steely hand on her so that no running into traffic was possible. I may have been a mean old hag, but she has survived at any rate. We have to think of the physical welfare of our children sometimes before their emotional and social development. It's a hard call sometimes to make.
from elgan :
I too have Tibetan slipper socks. They are hideous, but they are so large that I used to use them for Christmas stockings.
from tcklyrpharsn :
oh my goodness! your desk is a mess! okay, i'll go write about mine now.
from elgan :
When you put your car in "park", it is braked by a "pin" which keeps the wheels from engaging, thus preventing your car from rolling. The Subarus being recalled were shown to have pins that could possible break instead of brake, being a little flimsier than they should be, and were replaced free-of-charge to the owners. The way around all this, of course, is to engage your hand brake whenever you park your car, especially on a slope.
from elgan :
You leave me the best notes! Your site meter doesn't show Meema visiting your diary because she came to your notes page through your profile from my notes page. She must have intended to leave me a note, read yours, followed the link, then eventually left her own contribution in my guestbook. Mystery solved, sort of.
from elgan :
Whenever I invite a guest for dinner, I always inquire in advance about any dietary foibles, especially allergies. There is nothing more awkward than serving a meal that a guest can’t eat because he neglected to inform me that he is allergic to garlic! I also inquire if there is something he will not eat, allergies or not, because I know what it is like to be served a meal of food that I cannot abide. This actually happened. We have eaten at friends' places whom we assumed knew we were vegetarians, and been served a steak salad, which sounds like an oxymoron in itself. Thus I inform my hosts beforehand that I do not eat meat, including beef, pork, chicken, molluscs and crustaceans. The last one is a lie as well, because if I am on the coast, I will sometimes order lobster, but it has to be fresh. By the way, I find it hard to believe that you prepare three separate meals. My family eats what I like, or they do their own cooking! So far no one is complaining.
from elgan :
Yes, of course I meant Possession! Blame it on my advanced age!
from elgan :
Your garden sounds so colourful! I came home to weeds, weeds, and more weeds! If you haven't read this one yet, Obsession by A.S. Byatt is an excellent novel of adventure found in the archives. I believe it is one of her best books.
from eggsaucted :
Did a lot of research on women's building quite a few years back when I was writing papers about Mary Cassat and Solon Spencer Beaman simultaneously. She did the mural for the women's building and he was the architect for Pullman as well as the Mines and Mining building at the fair. Since they overlapped at the fair, I got intrigued. Read Devil in the White City in one sitting last year, while I had the most boring job on the planet. The author is buddies with the current museum president so we're working on doing something with him for the 75th anniversary in 4 years. Next year will also be the 25th anniversary of the Columbian Ball, our lovely little Gala and the ball coordinator and I think we should do it out along the lagoon with a venetian theme and nod to the Columbian Exposition. Century of Progress brought the Field Museum it's highest attendance numbers ever, so I know they have quite a bit in the their archives as well, I still know a few people over there too, so whatever I can do let me know. I am so not ever going to be ready to leave tomorrow.
from eggsaucted :
I've always loved the history of the first fair. I guess because I grew up in the area, but oddly enough I ended up working at the two institutions in chicago most closely tied with the fair as an adult. Several former presidents of MSI we're super important players in the century of progress, lenox lohr etc. Plus we purposely opened our doors in 1933 even though unfinished and very empty to coincide with the Century of Progress. I am kind of partial to that fair also because my grandparents met while they were both working for walgreens at the fair and were married the next year.
from eggsaucted :
You know my workplace is very tied into the history of the world's fair, actually both of the chicago worlds fairs. If there is anything you need that I can help with let me know.
from elgan :
Three cheers for AJ! Three cheers for Harri3t! And three cheers for plastic croquet sets that don't sing "We will rock you"!
from saucy99 :
Congrats to AJ about being potty trained!
from elgan :
Your whole discussion of programme music is very apt. Hubby and I have always felt that a piece of music should be able to stand on its own without the audience being aware of the programme. Many pieces, including Berlioz’s Sinfonie Fantastique DO stand on their own, even though they very graphically depict the composer’s programme. On the other hand, I heard a piece by John Weinzweig, a Canadian composer, performed by the Toronto Symphony about 30 years ago, and I hated it, had no idea where it was going or what it was about. When the lights came up at intermission and I was finally able to read the programme notes did I realize that it was about the holocaust, and then it made a great deal of sense. Hubby’s programme pieces do not in fact follow a “programme”, but give him a compositional framework when he is creating it, and the resulting programme notes tell a story without actually being a description of the formal design of the end result. Anyway, it is interesting, and I would love to talk more in depth about these things. By the way, I have always loved the Moldau by Smetana.
from elgan :
Happy Anniversary!
from elgan :
Hubby's got one of those hats. It came with his fancy robe and collar and it is extremely silly. It always messes up his hair. But I like that it's velvet and the gold tassel is very cool.
from eggsaucted :
Thanks! She keeps doing the growing thing, I've asked her to stop, but she insists.
from elgan :
Excellent entry. When you're done, any chance I can get a copy of your dissertation?
from elgan :
Did you get my email to your Yahoo address?
from dandlioneyes :
hope you located the book. i hate when that happens!
from elgan :
Yes! The Holst is on there, but since the playlist is set to random, I just hadn’t heard it yet. Imagine my surprise when he fired up the game today and that was the first piece I heard!
from elgan :
Thank you for that lovely answer to my question. You have quite the female role models in your family!
from elgan :
When we lived out west I noticed that people were much more open and friendly to strangers than when I lived in Ontario, and I figured that, like with your aural incursions, we have to form a social distance around ourselves. Hence, when actual physical space is at a premium, we create a large social bubble. When there’s lots of physical space, we can afford to be more open in our demeanors. I think an interesting analogy can be drawn.
from elgan :
Yes, you would think that would be an obvious choice, now. Darned if I can figure why it was left out!
from sidewaysrain :
tragic oversight on my part in not adding you earlier, please accept my apologies. xxx jen
from dandlioneyes :
thanks so much for the good luck note. i'll write more about the experience now that i've digested it. let me just put it this way: german questions are part of a whole different professional habitus, and damn, were they tricky!
from eggsaucted :
It was nerve-wracking but very cool. The only time I've been up to the top of something cooler was St. Peter's in Rome. I've done other tall buildings and landmarks but I guess maybe it's the dome thing that is just fascinating.
from elgan :
Wow! I would love to take one of your ethno classes. The way you tie it all together makes so much more sense than just presenting the music itself. Fear not, you’ll do a great job come fall!
from eggsaucted :
I frequently add an entry wait for a lifetime for it to load and then it tells me couldn't. I originally assumed it hadn't loaded but I'm finding it really has everytime so I don't re-do it. Thanks for the heads up, it's really annoying waiting to get the white box though. I literally clicked for a halfhour straight last night.
from saucy99 :
I really enjoyed reading your entry today. You write very well, have you ever considered writing professionally? Chicago has a certain appeal that makes us all put up with its nasty winters and awful public transport. Other than the 1.5 years I spent in France, I'm pretty much a Chicago lifer. More by circumstance than by choice, really. It's not that I wouldn't leave, its just that the right opportunity hasn't come up. Even just recently when I was applying to grad school, I applied all over the place, but it just so happend that the best school I got into was in Chicago so I decided to stay. Well, of course my boyfriend factored into that decision too! ;-) Oh, and Harolds Chicken Shack was one of my guilty pleasures in high school! Take care!
from elgan :
Thank you so much for your well-thought out answer to my question. You are fortunate indeed that your own family and in-laws see what you do as valid. I think it is because of their own educational background, which differs so greatly from that of my husband’s family. As for your feelings around the day-to-day running of a household and raising of a child, be assured that you are not alone. I have never enjoyed my rôle as housewife, and have resented mightily the toll it has taken on the performing career I never had, but I too made the conscious decision to stay at home with my children when they were young and I would not change that for anything. I know many female academics who are married and have children, and somehow they manage. Mostly it’s because they have supporting spouses and family infrastructures.
from cassiopeia- :
I've been doing the same Sex in the City thing, and I have already seen all of them! "~ Sands
from elgan :
Ah, so that is why you are never logged into Yahoo Messenger at 10 eastern time! I should be logging in an hour later! All righty then!
from elgan :
Your entry reminded me of the job of conjecture performed by the archological restorationists who have to “recreate” frescoes when there are only very small bits of the original remaining, and make “educated guesses” to fill in the blanks. The same as for architectural renderings of sites where all that is left are a few stones and evidences of cooking, etc. I am always amazed at how much imagination and invention are utilized when the archeological record is so poor. I’ve seen the movie “Le retour de Martin Guerre” with Gérard Dépardieu. It was excellent.
from good-evil :
Hi there! We're a new review site and we're currently looking for diaries to review. If you'd like to submit your diary in for a review, pls feel free to visit us and request! Thanks and have a great day! - Good vs Evil Reviews (good-evil.diaryland.com)
from elgan :
In the most recent issue of University Affairs, a Canadian academic publication, there is an article about universities trying to accommodate women academics who are trying to have it all: tenure track career and kids. They have a website: www.canadianaffairs.ca, but unfortunately don’t have the contents of this most recent mag uploaded yet, or I would have given you the exact url for the article. I just thought you might be interested.
from elgan :
I but live to serve! Bon appetit!
from saucy99 :
I love your AJ stories! They make me laugh and he sounds like such a great kid!
from elgan :
I most certainly do! As soon as Diaryland lets me add an entry, I'll post it. There are certain disadvantages to being a cheapskate!
from elgan :
As well as Yahoo Mesenger, I also have an MSN Messenger account, which uses my Hotmail address. I have an AOL account, but I've never used it and I forget my user name and password.
from elgan :
Thanks for your note. The other teacher I mentioned is not an option at all, since she isn't a member of the collective agreement. I have no qualms about my students' needs being met in my absence (if this particular teacher is NOT engaged to teach them [heaven forbid] and instead they go to my colleague whom I hold in high regard). I think it is more my own relationship with my “kids”, whom I really do tend to mother a little bit, although I don’t try to make it obvious, of which I am protective. Do you do the instant message thing? These could make some interesting discussions.
from dandlioneyes :
no kidding, too true about the pills! but they are helping. each one i gag down makes the next one easier to swallow.... hope you are well!
from insensatezz :
Thanks for the beautiful entry. I've been needing some "new life" stories after the past two days.
from chicagojo :
That's exactly what happened with my condo! The developer had $750k in taxes to pay from 2001, before the building was split into real condos. What would happen if I neglected to pay my $4k in taxes??? If a developer can go without paying $750k for over three years, surely I could get away with not paying $4k?!?!
from saucy99 :
You gotta love the inquisitive nature kids!
from tcklyrpharsn :
hey! i clicked on the ring and it brought me to a friendly error message. i'll go hunt it out, but i thought you should know. xo.
from laili-6 :
My niece used numbers as her first forays into humour. Us: "Count to five, Sophie." Her: "One, two, three" pause to look at us all with smirk, "five. ha ha ha." Anyway, your kid sounds like a bright little guy. Thanks for the note of encouragement. You've been there. And survived.
from tcklyrpharsn :
um, hi! i'd join that ring, even if i am on hiatus. just you try to keep me out of it!
from insensatezz :
I was looking around for just such a ring recently. I think it would be a quite a success!
from elgan :
A diarists-in-academia-ring? Why not? There sure seem to be a lot of us out there, although I don't know if I really belong to such an illustrious grouping, not really being an academic. I do work in an academy, though. Does that count?
from starflowr96 :
Thanks for the note. It means a lot, coming from you!
from elgan :
Infinity in a mirror is as hard to explain as the infinity of those photographs where someone on a magazine cover is holding a copy of the same magazine with himself on the cover holding the same magazine, and so on. I always found those incredibly fascinating, as though I were staring into an interspatial wormhole. I believe K is using television as a diversion because it was used on her. My nephews and nieces, now in their early 20s, were all TV babysat. Sad but true. I like the idea of an enforced park outing. Good luck with the whole nanny thing.
from eggsaucted :
Apparently my suspenseful entry was a little too ominous. I didn't mean it really I did. I mean if someone had really taken my car and my baby I would be doing a lot more than crying and I would not have been writing a diary entry. Thanks for the eye advice. I've never had an alergic reaction to anything in my entire life and this eye thing is just plain annoying. Kevin told me I had cooties, but I told him I'd had my cooties shot so that couldn't be it.
from elgan :
Thanks for your kind note. What a coincidence. I was just in the process of leaving you a note about being as old as my students’ mothers when I got the notification for yours and accidentally closed the wrong window! This business of growing up is highly overrated!
from tcklyrpharsn :
hey, thanks for adding me! you have been on my list of read-and-definitely-add-as-favourite for some time now. i'll get on that tonight, promise. xo.
from elgan :
It's so nice to know I am not alone in over-endowment hell. How do you explain to small-breasted women exactly how fortunate they are when the grass is always greener? My favourite bra is by Chantelle, but was terrifically expensive. Triumph makes a very pretty underwire 34D that actually fits, and they're cheaper, but difficult to find. I have never heard of Title 9. My old standby has always been Wonderbra, and I have one style that holds me in very comfortably (no underwires, built-up shoulders, lacy upper cups) and I have three in different colours. But they are strictly utilitarian, nothing sexy or playful about them!
from saucy99 :
Thank you! I didn't know that they didn't change them all at once. Good. I'm not losing my mind, I can stop swearing at the computer! Ok. Serenity now. I feel better!
from elgan :
Thank you so much for all your advice and help. I got so frustrated that I just put back my old, boring, lilac, diaryland default template and when I feel like less of a Luddite I’ll try it again. I would like something simple and elegant, not too colourful, and with the body of the diary very easy to read, so those scroll boxes are not for me since they always cut off part of the text. It’s not of paramount importance, so I’ll take my time searching for that perfect template. Thanks again.
from elgan :
Thanks for the advice about the FFFFFF. I tried it, but since I don’t know what I’m doing, nothing happened.
from saucy99 :
You forgot one more rule: Calories consumed on your birthday don't count. Also, calories consumed on a special occasion (anniversary, wedding, etc.) don't count. Yes, it's true. Because when I pigged out at my cousins wedding last week, the calories did not count, thank you very much! ;-)
from elgan :
I'm with you on that one. I have learned some of the most interesting tidbits of information from footnotes, which are often more entertaining and informative than the actual text, since the author gets to actually explain things! You could even append appendices if it comes to that, and if you think that the information really does augment the required reading.
from divamel :
"Yes! YES! I *am* a fraud! Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! There is no way I could know enough to adequately present! AIEEEEEEE!" *snort* Say hello to my internal dialogue.
from divamel :
The one ethnomusicology class I took in grad school was, indeed, one of my favorites. Yay, you!
from elgan :
Good girl, Harri3tspy! See, everything always has a way of working out. Now to dust off your Strunk, Hughes and Grout, not to mention Joseph Machlis and the Enjoyment of Music with the Norton anthology, and you're on your way!
from elgan :
My girlfriend in Israel (zitagsd) told me about the Mr. Clean sponge. Interestingly you cannot buy ammonia in Israel as it can be used as an ingredient in making explosives. How do you like them apples?
from elgan :
In the advertisements, the new Mr. Clean sponge is supposed to remove crayon (and everything else). Apparently the active ingredient is ammonia. Go ahead and apply for the community college job. You'll get great teaching experience, and in the meanwhile you can start applying for university teaching jobs. It sounds like a great opportunity.
from elgan :
Thanks for your note. The Netsilik Inuit drum song talk was given by a prof from Wilfrid Laurier University. I’m emailing you the abstract to your yahoo account.
from eggsaucted :
LOL! That's the main reason I've never put it on the lowest level. I'm only 5'1 I physically can't lay her down in that thing if she's sleeping, without dropping her. But I decided I could work that out somehow, I really didn't want to have her fall out. But I did it! Yea and it's never ever going up to the higher level again. Her bed converts to a toddler bed and can then be a headboard and have a regular size bedframe attached to it.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks! except the talk is in german and i literally, and i mean literally, have no idea what to talk about...!
from kris-tee :
Thanks! I get so tired of people beating up on Soverycherry and Aliboomboom. It's not like they are taking drugs or anything like that. They just are not happy with the situations they are in, and I don't blame them. Soverycherry is 22 and Aliboomboom is 24 and they are both single. I could not imagine dealing with what they are dealing with. To me, pregnancy was hard because of the migraines and the sickness, then losing control of what my body looked like and gaining weight. But I mean, really though, if people don't want to hear it, then don't read my diary or theirs. I just don't get the leaving them mean notes or whatever. I also don't think that people really sit down and think about the situation they are in. I mean, alot of people giving them sh*t are married and had planned pregnancys. Totally differnt situations. Anyway, thanks for the note!
from saucy99 :
Sounds like you had a crazy day. By the way, I think I know exactly what el musician you are talking about, I'm pretty sure I've seen her as well. By the way, I still plan on answering your question about childrens books, but I haven't had much time. I think I'll be able to get to it today. Later!
from eggsaucted :
Well she seems to like water out of sippy cups and juice out of bottles. Imagine that a child with strange demands. She started on water sometime around 4 months, but wasn't overly fond of it. Juice is usually well accepted if it pleases her at that exact moment and you have to read the signs, otherwise it will be shoved or thrown away from her. But with warmer weather she's been enjoying ice water in a sippy cup. I know the worries about Milk, but different sources say different things and I figured I'd ask you about your experience, I figure I'll hold off until her appointment, unless I get extremely concerned then I'll give her doc a call. Thanks again!
from eggsaucted :
Gracias! Everyone I know either didn't breastfeed or stopped at like 6 months for various reasons. Her highness isn't really regulated she gets it whenever she wants in the evenings, but I just try not to let her breastfeed during the day on the weekends, because I don't want her to miss it during the day during the week. If she's really fussy at naptime I give in. Otherwise she has no real schedule. I see her pediatrician again in June, so I'll talk to him about the milk thing. I just worry now with hotter weather that she's going to get dehydrated, because I have to worry about something.
from eggsaucted :
How long did you breatfeed AJ, was weaning him easy and when did you introduce him to milk? I've read too many different things and I think her highness would be happy to breastfeed forever and she is coming up on year and I'm just thinking about it. Because well I think about everything before I need to, it's the way I know how to survive.
from dandlioneyes :
i loved mists of avalon as well, and even more so the firebrand, cassandra's viewpoint on troy. the rest of her stuff was too sci-fi for me. but the firebrand was good, in the mists sort of way, for a gawkish teenager: strong women, their point of view. i enjoyed it a lot. which is why, surprise surprise, i'm VERY excited about the blockbuster Troy coming to theatres... i know it'll be over the top and i'll have to wear earplugs to be able to leave without sustaining hearing dammage, but hubba hubba on orlando and brad! :)
from dandlioneyes :
oh i look forward to answering your question! you already hit on two authors key to my reading when i was a child/teen: madeleine and michael ende. add to that a healthy dose of marion zimmer bradley (for the fantasy, i did need to escape), and of course the timeless astrid lindgren who's book mio min mio and the brother's lionhearted still make me whole. i'll write about that if not today, then tomorrow. oh, and then c.s. lewis (did you know that aslan means lion in turkish), and then susan cooper. and when i was much younger i sucked up all of the little house on the prairie books. i could go on and on and on. i will in an entry! :)
from dandlioneyes :
i'm so sorry. i did use the "p" word - procrastination.... some are hilarious! i have the collected volume in print form for all my procrastinat-y goodness!
from dandlioneyes :
just in case you hadn't found this tool for procrastination: phdcomics.com -- an absolute riot. about gradschool life.
from cassiopeia- :
Oh yes! Being three is lots of fun! Just ask my mom. Happy Mommy's day to you! kisses, cassie
from elgan :
Happy Mother’s Day!
from eggsaucted :
Happy Mother's Day! @->-->-- Thanks for the note in your entry!
from elgan :
Thanks so much for your note. I feel better already just knowing that I am not alone in this ordeal.
from dandlioneyes :
that is THE worst and most disturbing west philly story that I have ever ever heard. where were you living? did the fire department come relatively quickly? oh my goodness. when i was there penntrification was already in full swing, and up to 45th was Penn territory. philly and even west philly does have a lot of charm, there are amazing nooks and crannies... but it wasn't easy, either. living in center city certainly helped. you know, i don't think i had a "terrible" grad school experience, just one that demanded the ability to work with no guidance in a crumbling infrastructure. but back to momo - you don't know HOW happy it makes me that you like the book. i grew up reading it, and i grew up also listening to the books on tape that had such a sad but lovely flute melody....
from divamel :
Do my comments count if I'm only earning a 2nd master's instead of a terminal degree? :)
from saucy99 :
What in the world? "originary technicity", "Archivization?" Are those real words? By the way, I've seen that documentary on sandwiches on PBS. It was actually quite interesting!
from elgan :
Thanks for the good wishes. I appreciate them.
from michl :
Your entry reminded me of my times in grad school. I defended my PhD nearly a year ago to this date. Although it took me 4.5 years to complete, I actually submitted late. PhDs in Britain normally last 3 years (no classes, so you have all the time to focus on your research. Thus, your dissertation is a lot thicker). I had a terrible time with my supervisor and getting something worthwhile to paper. I am came to the realization that the thesis wasn't going to be my greatest literary prose. Once I started getting on with it, things just fell into place. The words seemed to flow at a good pace and I had secured a postdoc with my current boss, and subsequently, my supervisor started treating me as an equal. My current contract was renewed for another 3 years last September. I don't know what I'll do afterwards as my partner is an academic too (he's completing his thesis now), so it makes things difficult. However, my partner wants to go into industry, so it takes some of the burden off of having to look for two academic posts. Good luck finishing. Best wishes, Michelle
from dandlioneyes :
i can't believe you know momo! that makes me incredibly happy! that book is my mainstay in times of high stress, one sweep of the broom at a time, never thinking of the whole street ahead. i think it is better than ende's neverending story, actually, but others might disagree. how did you run into it?
from dandlioneyes :
hi there- i'll write an entry either tonight or tomorrow in response to what you said. i really appreciate - personally - your comments. thanks also for sharing the personal aspects of the whole endeavor - the ups, the down. will write more later!
from elgan :
I personally am not the academic, but I have seen enough through being associated with a university and being married to a tenured prof to add my two cents' worth. He entered graduate school with no clear idea of what was on the other side. He just wanted to perfect his craft. However, I wanted to have a family (as did he) and that meant having gainful employment, something a freelance composer cannot count on. So that is when the sabbatical leave jobs started, three years of them. Luckily the last one was in the place where we ended up staying, but there was that scary fourth year where he didn't have regular employment, but instead combined two artist-in-residencies with part-time teaching. I was also pregnant with No. 2. Luckily things have worked out, he got his tenure, advanced up the promotion ladder to full prof at a rapid pace, and is able to enjoy the perks that come with an academic job, and there are plenty. But there are the politics as well, which suck royally. We have a situation in our department as we speak that has him thinking about looking for work elsewhere if it doesn't resolve to his satisfaction. But his first love is always composing, and he is chomping at the bit until that day when he can retire on a decent pension and just write music.
from rs536-2000 :
Great entry, thoughtful and well-reasoned. Academia would be lucky to get you!
from dandlioneyes :
i'd love to hear your response, especially in a longer version - in the diary. and feel free to quote (and thanks for asking - so academic!) while i used to be scared about the work itself, now i'm now, now i'm doing it and doing it somewhat apathetically. i had to change my thesis topic significantly, and am less vested in the work now than i was in my other "dream" thesis - and yet that is freeing. this does not have to be my magnum opus - it is a hurdle to be completed to have two letters infront of my name. what lies behind that hurdle is what scares me.... take care, later gater!
from dandlioneyes :
i have a question for you: what happens- or, rather -what do you WANT to happen post phd? do you want to stay in academic? do you love it? i found that graduate school has beaten the joy out of me, has beaten the joy out of writing and researching. in part that is because the program i am at is inept, making the whole ordeal even more challenging (and we all have our grad-school horror stories, i know). i went in thinking: i want to do this. i want academia. my parents are both academics - i don't know any different/better, you know? but after teaching, after doing this, besides the flexible schedule (which is truly amazing, especially for having a family), i'm not such a happy camper. and scared about finishing, because then the next step comes: deciding. finding a job. etc.etc. what about you? any words of wisdom? my hubby is also in academia, but in a field where jobs are easy to come by. so i know we'll have an income the year we both finish, which, i suppose, i should be happy for. but i really want to carry my weight, work, etc., and maybe i should be grateful that i will have the luxury of finding something i want/like even if it takes a while.... ok, nuff' rambling. take care, sorry about your fall.
from saucy99 :
Thanks for reading and answering my question! I've been reading your diary too. I realized that I never answered my own question (D'oh!)so I added another entry explaining my user name. Just curious, what are you getting your PhD in?
from divamel :
As we age, we become more spectacular in our grace...lessness. :)
from elgan :
Good answer. Thank you. I too have erased something very important, a song cycle that Hubby wrote to poems by Robert Graves. It's just gone, not on the hard drive, not on a floppy, not on a zip disk. I have a feeling that when I was cleaning up the hard drive and putting things on zip disks I accidentally just wiped it away. It is irretrievably lost. This means recopying it from the pencil score, again.
from eggsaucted :
I think we are bound to meet someday, you're right though we probably have and just don't know it. Our paths seem to be drawing us together. First the pioneer valley, then hyde park (you've even been to my apartment before it was mine), then Kane County on the same day. I don't usually think I have much grace with my situation and there are times when I want to scream or cry or both and sometimes I do. But mostly I just look at our beautiful daughter and kiss her on the top of the head and accept whatever new obstacle has come our way. I could get angry or demanding but what good will it do me? I have more important things to put the energy I have into. Her highness is much better off with me putting more energy into playing with her than she is with her mother getting mad at life. Or least I hope she's better off that way.
from eggsaucted :
I basically told you I was offended because you said not to be offended. I know there are people in the world who don't approve of my choices and who don't approve of my lifestyle or agree with it. I don't care. Do I think you were doing that all? Nope! But did I have to feign offense? Totally. There are definately times when I wish Kevin could play a bigger role. Like when I think about how nice it would be for someone else to get up with her just once, so that just once I could sleep for as long as I wanted. But basically I think I get by because I love her and there is nothing I wouldn't do and even though it is hard, it doesn't feel that way. I think other than the eggsauction I want Kevin to be more involved more for him, because it is so cool to be around her than I feel like I need more help, for his benefit I feel badly that he misses as much as he does. Call me crazy. I guess when I say I don't need marriage I mean from a financial or legal stand point. I think it might feel nice to have someone that committed, but I told Kevin a long time ago I don't need the fancy title, just the love and the emotional support and I already have that. As grumpy and stressed as he is sometimes, I always have his love and his support. Thanks for realizing I just had to make the comment! Also thanks for offering me so much support on here all the time.
from dandlioneyes :
*ohgod* gulp, i'm sorry about the deleted data. have you tried "revert to previously saved copy"? hang in there, and i hope you can recover it.... i back up like a crazy woman, and print out things obsessively. i'm just not sure how i'll get all the stuff back to the US. carryon luggage? ain't gonna work. not folders upon folders... lets see if i have any more dreams tonight that conjure up other possible good reads! night!
from eggsaucted :
I AM SO OFFENDED by your comments about having kids outside of marriage. Just kidding. I think you have a very valid point. But well one it wasn't really an option for me, since it is illegal for one person to be married to multiple woman and two I am bound and determined that I will never get married just because of her highness. If Kevin & I ever get around to it, it will be because that is what Kevin & I want. I totally respect the opinions people have and marriage as an institution, I just don't feel like I need it. But I couldn't let your comment about worrying about offending someone go by without pretending to be offended for a little while, because well, I'm a smartass and I just had to do that. =)
from dandlioneyes :
shield's novel sounds interesting - tell me more. it'll go onto the back burner until i get back to the US, however - right now, i'm soaking up german contemporary lit as much as i can, because i can't get that in the US.... loved AJs slide picture, by the way!
from eggsaucted :
I was just down the street from the Kane County Flea Market today.
from eggsaucted :
I can't get to any symantec sites except their store to buy software and I already have the software. I'm running a different check online and I borrowed a program from western michigan university. Hoping I'm on the right track. This is really annoying. Thanks though!
from kris-tee :
Thanks for the note, I appreciate it.
from techdragon :
Wanted to say Hi! http://techdragon.diaryland.com/
from elgan :
That's depressing. Twenty-odd years ago, when my husband was doing his graduate work at Michigan, the male composers outnumbered the females 10 to 1, and even though no one would openly admit it, there was an unspoken feeling in the faculty that they would only succeed because of the men they attached themselves to. I hope that things have changed, but I still don hear of that many up-and-coming women composers on the new music scene compared to their male counterparts. I like the way you always preface your notes to me: You’re right of course. It gives me a reason to go on pontificating!
from elgan :
The old Nanerl Mozart/Fanny Mendelssohn syndrome again: No need to worry about your musical future, you're just going to be a wife and mother, dear. They say history is written by the victors, and in this case, men have had their say. But times ARE changing, I think for the better, and what you are doing, multiplied by all the people who think similarly, will help to make it happen. Do not ever belittle your efforts because you are just one person. Every drop in the ocean and all that…
from kris-tee :
Oh my goodness, I really want to tell you how wonderful I think you are for not slamming the juice on his head. I don't know if I could have been so strong!
from elgan :
Hoo boy. The terrible twos are followed by the therrible threes. You knew that, right? Then they segue into the fearsome fours, followed by the f***ing fives. You get the picture. Good luck keeping your cool!
from elgan :
Ha ha, it reminds me of the day I caught my daughter reading the writing on the bag of sheep manure that I had ready for gardening. She too acted as though she'd been caught in an illegal act, and absolutely refused to reread out loud what I had already heard when I was standing unbeknownst behind her.
from dandlioneyes :
Ah, Jacques! I'm also a big fan of Les Flamandes, and the usual suspects: Ne me quitte pas and Quand on n'a que l'amour. Enjoy!
from eggsaucted :
She's already fascinated by the real phone at my parents house and has to physically kept from crawling over to it and picking it up and pushing the buttons. If you set her down she immediately heads for it. So I figured it was time for her to have her own phone. She seems to like it here, we'll see tomorrow how it goes there and if the distraction works.
from kris-tee :
Oh geeze, I am going to be so terrible with wacthing someone make Blake feel bad. Even if it is a five year old. I know I will have to make myself sit and shut up, but I have a REALLY over protective personality anyway... I can just imagine how you felt!
from odalisk :
It's best to think of the movie & book Ella Enchanted as being mutually exclusive. There isn't much of a similarity between them at all.
from starflowr96 :
You're welcome, thank you for the note! Your diary really inspires me. I like coming across decent diaries to read, so I was thrilled to find yours. (And surprised because I don't click on many ad banners, and when I did, it was actually something good!)
from elgan :
Thanks so much for your note. My overseas girlfriend just berated me for being obsessive about getting one task at a time done instead of working a little every day. I also enjoyed the image of helping AJ hold the brush. You've given me food for thought.
from tcklyrpharsn :
It's a Roderich Paesold 2000. Want it? ;) What's yours?
from odalisk :
I hear that the movie of Ella changes the plot of the book quite a bit; I just bought the book & I'll see how that changes my opinion of the movie.
from eggsaucted :
Our lives continually cross paths. Indeed the weight of the books was causing the library to self-destruct while i was there also. But it is the tallest Red Brick library in the country, since the University of Texas added floors to it's library to make it the tallest library. There was no scaffolding, but there is a fence and a big covered walkway to get into the building. Only Umass.
from elgan :
Ah, there's nothing quite like the love of a three-year-old. Everything is about them. Frabjous days of yesteryear. Sigh...
from elgan :
Having two children, it would be so unfair of me to say that the birth of one was the “best” day of my life, without cheating the other. However, you are right about the pain receding and being left with that sense of wonderment that you are no longer the end of the line, but another link now in the continuation thereof. Good entry.
from eggsaucted :
I left out the pee when I sneeze part. I figure the mommies to be are freaked out enough. Glad I've been so thought provoking lately. I've been reading a lot of mommies to be lately and plus we have someone in the office here who is due in a week and my parent's neighbor. So a lot of thought and discussion about the past year which has absolutely flown by. I can't imagine how I feel when her highness is three like AJ. The pain is such a distant memory, you are so right.
from elgan :
By the way, I added your Jane Eyre entry to my favourite entries list. It really struck a chord.
from kris-tee :
That is a good idea to read them before adding them. I will keep that in mind. I think I also like to think of my diary as a little community sometimes, I like getting honest answers from people even if I don't like what they are saying. I like to be involved in people's diary's that are involved in mine. I feel bad now though, I hope I did not delete someone who reads my diary. I am going to just be careful with who I add now.
from eggsaucted :
loved your entry. Jane Eyre is one of those books I can read over and over again and I never tire of reading it. It is truly an old friend. In fact I read it on the bus to and from the infamous 8th grade camping trip I took with Dandlioneyes & Saucy99
from elgan :
I used to sing to my plants. I don't know if it made them better or worse!
from elgan :
Hi, I've left you some url info on your Yahoo email account.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for the questions, much appreciated! enjoy the weekend; i hope you chicago-landers have as gorgeous weather as we do here in germany.
from elgan :
My most exalted husband has actually done exactly that, transcribed bird song and included them in a couple of his compositions. One is a harpsichord concerto with lots of angry chickadee calls, and another is a large orchestral work, which ends with a beautiful thrush call on the flute.
from saucy99 :
Thanks for the note. I am excited to be heading back to HP in the fall!
from eggsaucted :
They had sort of cleaned up a lot of that nonsense. But the shooting last fall sort of stunned everyone since it took place inside a McDonalds.
from elgan :
NORTH Hatley! NORTH, NORTH, NORTH Hatley!!!!! It sounds like you were at Hovey Manor. What a gorgeous place for a honeymoon, bar none!
from eggsaucted :
I was an admissions rep in college and then an alumni rep for one year after college. They didn't ask me to do it again, because I wasn't so good about turning in summaries afterwards. But that's because they sent me to a fair and hadn't even paid the entry fee and since I had driven through rush hour traffic all the way to wheaton I paid the entry fee myself and was never reimbursed. But the treatment reps got at fairs was good, I always enjoyed it. In college I actually met with prospective students and conducted informational interviews, we met with the student alone and then brought in the parents, it was always a drastically different session once the parents joined us.
from elgan :
Nice house!
from missleigh :
That's one adorable kid you have there.
from elgan :
Thanks for that lovely note. Hope you have a happy holiday weekend.
from elgan :
Hi. Here's the url for a French-language Trivial Pursuit game-selling establishment: http://www.zooscape.com/cgi-bin/maitred/YellowLoop/questp306812. I hope that helps.
from eggsaucted :
You feeling lucky punk?
from elgan :
Ah yes, the useless-information syndrome. That's why I'm so good at crossword puzzles and Trivia Pursuit.
from eggsaucted :
You wanna take this outside?
from eggsaucted :
Go cubs go! Go cubs go! Hey Chicago what'dya say the cubs are gonna win today! My dad's a sox fan. My mother, my uncle and my grandfather are/were all cubs fan, that's where I get it. Plus they're the better team, plain & simple. =)
from dandlioneyes :
so besides this whole baseball fiasco (go sox!), about the diss and taking time off. i should have. i really, really should have. i'm now in my 5th year, and i went straight from undergraduate. i do know what is important for me and my life, and my happiness does not come from the academics. i love writing a good academic sentence, slightly convoluted perhaps, and i love coming up with ideas. but my happiness - that comes from someplace else. i now work on managing the stress... yoga, etc. ... just trying to be confident that things will work out, and that it will get done. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. do you have a support group for writing? or a diss writing seminar? my program is so obtuse that they just send us along our merry way... have at it, folks! *sigh* time for bed, night night!
from eggsaucted :
I've lived in Hyde Park nearly my whole life...but I have to say one thing. GO CUBS!
from dandlioneyes :
funny thing is, though, i rarely write about the diss. maybe it would help me if i did? i dunno. i find it so hard to write for the diss in general (ok, fine, i'm still researching, but STILL), that writing about it, let alone writing IT, makes me nervous. ultimately, though, the diss thing affects all of my life, so my state of being etc. etc. ends up being a direct result of how my work is going. and that is something i'm trying to fix.
from dandlioneyes :
having lived for 6 years in hyde park and having attended many-a-sox game (old and new park), i echo AJ and say: go sox!
from elgan :
I'm reminded of my own reaction to Mozart's Requiem, which I first heard when we performed it in highschool. Since then I have heard it many times, some sublime and others less so. I think I could listen to it any way because my memory will always make it beautiful, no matter how awful the actual performance is.
from elgan :
That is so sweet. I remember Buddy Boy's first bed, a red one, which co-existed peacably in his room with the crib until he felt ready to make the switch. Ah, that bed has been replaced, and he takes up all the room in his present one. Wah!
from kris-tee :
Thanks for your note. I feel better. I need to stop worrying so much... Everyone keeps saying, no news is good news. I know this, but I just can't help myself.
from laili-6 :
I think the urban equivenlant is a woman sitting in a bar or restaurant alone. At least here, in this little city. I was having a steak in a nice restraurant by myself, and I could tell by the way a few people looked, it was a "thing."
from elgan :
Your description of how you write is eerily similar to the way my husband composes. The piece writes itself upstairs first, and while the birth process is not always easy, it’s more or less ready to go when he finally gets it down on paper. Interesting.
from eggsaucted :
Ok, I think I'll start saying Gala Support. Today's project has been checking peoples annual report listings. Not all bad, but not a whole lot of fun either.
from elgan :
You poor baby. I know what it is like to lie awake for hours with a racing mind next to a husband who cannot sleep without making some kind of noise, only to have the dawn chorus wake you at first light just when you're starting to get some good zzzzz. On your next trip to Canada, drop into a pharmacy and purchase Gravol, an anti-nausea medication for motion sickness sufferers. One quarter of one pill will knock you out for about four hours, and hopefully that will get you through the night. I don't recommend this as a daily treatment, just for when you're tired as hell and can't take it any more!
from kris-tee :
Oh no, AJ gets up at 5:45 am??? What am I in for.....
from eggsaucted :
I'm sort of hoping that no one is kind enough to give her highness her very own sit n spin. Although I do threaten my cousin on a regular basis with fixing her daughters, so I guess I should be nice.
from laili-6 :
Perfect. Do you mind if I quote you, using a made up name? Pleeese? I'm kind of doing an anti-spring thing, too, where I'm looking for thawed break-up stories.
from eggsaucted :
I hear from Cousin, mother of a 2.5 year old and a newborn that the sit n spin is the worst of all the noisemaking toys! Apparently theirs "broke" either that or she forgot to replace the batteries. Whatever according to her 2.5 year old it's broke and that's all that is important.
from laili-6 :
Thanks for the note. Other then that danger, Isreal seems like it would be such an amazing cultural place to be. I bet it was facinating for him.
from eggsaucted :
You're welcome, I'm apparently into HTML this week, I'm sure it will fade, but there's been so much to celebrate this week, I've been doing so. This month didn't start out so hot, but it seems to ending much better.
from elgan :
Thank you harri3tspy for that lovely entry. I was all ready to write a disclaimer and apology for my tirade of last night, but you have made me feel like a worthwhile person after all. I can only attribute my vitriolic outburst to feeling like poopoo (I don’t deal well with sinus pain). Hopefully those will be few and far between. AJ sounds like a great little boy, and I’m sure he’ll be a fine man someday.
from elgan :
You impress me as being the most patient and indulgent mom ever! I feel like a neglectful, punitive, authoritarian bitch-mother in contrast. Where do you get the patience? I seem to recall my children’s childhood as an exercise in negation, and yet somehow they’ve turned out fine so far. Maybe the difference is that I simply couldn’t deal with small children, and wished for their accelerated maturity. I have only the greatest admiration for you, believe me!
from eggsaucted :
I adore her highness' male pediatrician who is actually an NP but so far better than almost any doctor I've ever dealt with. Her physical therapist is female and annoys me to no end, dear god I have another appointment with her in 10 days, how fun, I don't even want to think about it.
from elgan :
Your welcome for the pissriot. And thank YOU for quoting me in your profile!
from dandlioneyes :
that snowman gave me the absolute creeps! glad aj gets a kick out of it. and enjoy the wonderful spring weather! here in germany, too, we have spring.
from elgan :
I had a regular pissriot watching the antics inside the snowglobe. Thanks for the site!
from parlance :
Harriet the Spy. I remember seeing that movie and loving it when it first came out.
from cassiopeia- :
Poop is a big topic of conversation at our house too! :~
from cassiopeia- :
Thank you for the birthday wishes! kisses, cassie
from elgan :
Thanks.
from elgan :
Hi there. We've been down the music route, as you can imagine. I recommend very highly the following Canadian children’s performers: Eric Nagler; Sharon, Lois & Bram, Fred Penner, Al Simmons. These are all fine musicians with great back-up bands, they sing in tune, and as an adult you will love their music and AJ will think they rock. Also, try to get your hands on old recordings of Danny Kay. Kids love these, and so will you! If our kids are going to listen to music directed at them, let's make sure it's something we can stand to hear over and over again too. Good luck!
from eggsaucted :
I got an email from Threescores P. Forefather I guess it's better than Stacys Mom! Have a good weekend!
from dandlioneyes :
i hope you feel a bit better ... but glumness on a snowy day can also be ok sometimes, in a quiet sort of way. wish i could send some amazing yogurt your way (god, i'm obsessed with it, as far as one can be obsessed with ... yogurt...)
from elgan :
I know that aria from Semele well. Don't worry, this stage doesn't last forever. Eventually he won't nap at all in the afternoons. At this point you either put him in nursery school fulltime, or you give up everything and become your kid's nanny. And then he goes to school and we all breathe a collective sigh of relief. Good luck with the potty training.
from eggsaucted :
Her highness' doctor tells it like it is and is very disarming. Her highness' physical therapist drives me batty. Her highness isn't really into the crawling thing. She prefers scooting and finding other ways around to accomplish things. Some people say this is cause for concern, others say it doesn't matter. Her therapist said both. Her doctor said she was very strong, her physical therapist said she was weak. I nodded and smiled. Thanks again!
from eggsaucted :
Thanks again! He's feeling better. But I'm glad to have last week out of my hair. It just seemed like nothing could go right. Although her highness actually enjoyed most of her time here at work. I just got next to nothing accomplished.
from elgan :
Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this one, but I just read the follow-up to the Caitlin Flanagan piece you left me a note for ages ago. I found the correspondence very amusing. I have always felt uncomfortable having someone else clean my house, but if I don’t do it myself, it just doesn't get done. Also, I have met women who really do enjoy cleaning, whether it be their own houses or other people’s. The childcare thing is a different issue, though. Anyway, thanks for the links.
from elgan :
I just checked out the link to Bush’s ads. We don’t generally see these things in Canada, and I don’t watch American T.V. I can’t believe he would use such visual reminders of the tragedy that affected so many. It is still too fresh in the public psyche, the wounds have not healed, and he is just calling up that grief afresh. He is getting very bad advice.
from kris-tee :
Hey! It might be good for the both of you to get away for a little while each day. Good luck in your decision! Oh, and I am sure knowing the person that posted the job is better then not knowing them. Don't be so hard on yourself!
from kris-tee :
That is so me with the contact thing. I hate it when one falls out. I don't have glasses though which is really stupid, I should have some "on hand" but I don't. Brad and I have a dr's appt. at the end of march at the eye dr's I am going to ask the dr. to show brad how bad my vision is. IT is SO bad! The worst was my single days, when I would lose a contact where ever I stayed and then drive home with one contact and a hangover! When you talk about AJ, I get so excited! I can't wait to be able to pick out my little one's scream above other childrens screams! I know that sounds silly, but I just can't wait for it all! I was telling Brad the other night, I can't wait till the baby does not feel good or is being fussy and does not want anyone but me!!! That has to be such a good feeling!!
from eggsaucted :
Thanks again! You dlanders are all being so wonderful and supportive.
from eggsaucted :
Thanks dear! I think Kevin and I will find a resolve on the baptism thing. I actually want to do it in a catholic church because that was so important to my grandmother and it's the religion I was essentially raised with, although I was not baptised, much to my grandmother's chagrin. A close friend of the family will perform the baptism without counseling, now it's just a matter of Kevin having to call and ask the friend (I can't make the request not being "catholic" myself, there are so many fricking rules) and then Kevin needing to fight the fight so we can do it privately. Oh yea we need to figure out who we'll have as godparents. But thanks again for your thoughts! R
from kris-tee :
OMG, That makes me SO freaking mad. I was at the grocery store and there was a young mom, probably like 25 there with her bf/husband. There was a little boy in the grocery seat, he was about 3 or 4. Well, he was whining like kids do, she looked at him right in his face and said SHUT UP and then a couple minutes later she told him he was being an "asshole". I was so mad. SO, I followed back behind her pretending to look for stuff. Then, the little boy hurt himself in the chair, and she said, haha, see thats what you get, haha you hurt yourself. So, I crossed my arms and just stood there looking at her, then I walked by her and gave her a dirty look. She did not say anythign but the bf/husband looked embarrassed. She is really lucky I am pregnant, or else, I probably would have said soemthing. Some people just are NOT ment to have children.
from firebolt2378 :
I found you around on the Chicago diaries, and finally decided that I should stick you on my buddy list. I LOVE your one entry, the 100 things. I wish I had that much to say about me... Oh well! Keep on writing!
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for adding me! no more phd gameshows or sports analogies: i think we just need to get the monster written, submitted, defended and bye-bye to grad student life!
from dandlioneyes :
phd mini-golf - oh, you made me laugh there! my all-time favorite moment was when i was applying for fellowships last year, and started speaking like bob barker: come on down, yooooouuuuu're the next contestant on the FELLOWSHIP IS RIGHT! ugh. how long did you live in hyde park? i lived there for - 5 years - but it's been a while....
from elgan :
Great entry! When I would threaten to run away from home, my mom would say, “I'll pack your bag.” That really took the wind out of my sails.
from kris-tee :
Thanks for the advice on the baby/job thing. AJ sounds like such a cute kid! I like the way you write I can totally picture everything.
from elgan :
You were very lucky to have parents who indulged your “sensory” differences and helped you develop your talents. I can only hope that the mother of the child you refer to has enough integrity to allow her child to develop as an individual instead of sending him to a battery of specialists to get him to conform to some ideal child-behaviour norm. I agree with you all the way on this one.
from elgan :
For a take on a society where personal ownership does not exist, and if you like science fiction, try Ursula K. LeGuin’s “The Disposessed”. In order to get rid of my yahoo mistake, I would have to cancel my whole account with them, then try again. I guess I was just sleepy and wasn’t paying any attention when I got shunted across the pond. My kids think it’s not a big deal, and I should just keep the address.
from eggsaucted :
I want to come live in your garden. And by the way, ven Chicago has a curfew for teens, its just not enforced unless they are getting into trouble.
from kris-tee :
Thanks for the note! I'm going to try the counter thing you suggested. Oh and I LOVED the secret garden, my FAVORITE book when I was a child.
from elgan :
Well, I read the Caitlin Flanagan link, it took me a good hour, and found it very interesting. If you want to talk about it, I'm game.
from kris-tee :
I agree about the danger thing. I am really scared that I am going to have a C-section. No one in my family has ever had one, nor do I have any reason to have one yet, but I like to over-ly worry about things that normal people don't really think about and think about and think about. Anyway, my mom had picked up a pregnancy magazine for me. I'm reading it and there was an article, (three pages) on C-sections. Ok, it was informative. Then there is ANOTHER one towards the back of the magazine. I mean, come on, I KNOW there are alot more (not so scary) other things about pregnancy we could talk about.
from elgan :
That was a beautiful entry. Who is the author of this wonderful three pigs story? I need to get a copy. Even though my own children are way past the fairytale stage, I still crave children’s books. One of my favourites is a beautifully illustrated volume called "The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig.”
from cassiopeia- :
Happy Valentine's Day! kisses, cassie
from elgan :
What a great story!
from elgan :
"Because I said so" may sound trite, but when all is said and done, it’s the truth and a good lesson in the absolute authority of the parental unit (until they reach puberty, and then watch out!). As for email, just send it to elgan@diaryland.com and it’ll be forwarded on to me. We can go from there if we want to have a private conversation.
from elgan :
Harriet, darling, what is your dissertation on? You talk about it lots, but I don’t know anything about it.
from kris-tee :
Thansk for the message! My mom has been telling me to get used to it too! I just left Elgan a note telling her about x-mas. Brad went shopping the day before x-mas eve and bought me clothes from the womens department. I am 23 and a size 6, sometimes even a four. The clothes were hanging off me! But it was cute though, it was his first time ever buying clothes for a girl. I asked for maternity clothes for my birthday which is this weekend. Im sure I am in for a real treat. I told him exactly what stores to go to though. Maybe he will just give me a gift certificate. I told him specifically work pants and a size SMALL! I always want to like what he buys cause I never want to hurt his feelings, but I am so funny about clothes though!
from elgan :
You are not alone, and you are forgiven.
from elgan :
Hope your feeling better soon.
from eggsaucted :
I tell people that all the time when they say, "you took russian, say something." I do my staple sentence and they say "what does that mean, and I say "I don't know it got me through 4 semesters of russian, but its also why I stopped after 4 semesters."
from eggsaucted :
Time to brave the snow and go pick up the princess. But I thought I'd mention my coincedence, I too did everything possible to learn russian vocabulary in college. Unfortunately my staple sentence of I don't understand eventually wore thin on my professors and I gave after four semesters, but some of it sticks with me.
from elgan :
Your entry moved me greatly. You’ve inspired me to reminisce about an event whose memory I shall treasure forever. By the way, I too have a brother in Israel! Will coincidences never cease?
from eggsaucted :
EBAY is the best and highly addictive!
from elgan :
Hi, it's me again with more helpful advice! When my parents were potty training my brothers, they would throw a square of toilet paper in the toilet and say, “Now make a bullseye!” For years in our house, having a pee was called “making a bullseye”. It seems to have worked. My brothers no longer wear diapers. Nor do I, for that matter!
from elgan :
When my kids were in elementary we got head lice notices every year. Neither kid ever got lice from school, mind you, but we all did get it from my niece who brought it home from camp with her and gave it to us when we were visiting my parents. We all ended up using that horrible shampoo. But it's not a big deal, they're not dangerous, really, and you shouldn't feel stygmatized if your kid (or you) gets them.
from kris-tee :
That is a very funny story!!! I am such a high-strung person, as soon as they would have called me, I would have been like OMG, Im going to jail. I think its so funny you dident put the bag back!! Oh, I have an album on www.photobucket.com the album name is Kristy9900 and the pass word is Bugs if you are interested in looking at them! ~Kristy
from pura-vida :
Thank you so much for your helpful suggestion regarding bridesmaid dresses. I'll keep it in mind while browsing.
from elgan :
Hi there! Yes, I have been using Finale for Macintosh for years, and I am still using Finale 98 (upgrading would open a kettle of fish I am not prepared to handle). I have friends who use Sibelius and think it's wonderful, but I figure that I haven't got time to learn another program, considering that it took me so long to get to know Finale as well as I do, and F does everything I could ask for (almost. Hubby would like it to have more graphic capabilities, but I can always import images from a paint program). Also, I have seen S printed out, and I don't think it looks as good as F. It could just have been that the user wasn't as well versed in it as I am in the other. Why are you considering switching?
from elgan :
Enjoy your solitude, especially the bath!
from elgan :
That is one adorable little guy you've got there!
from kris-tee :
Thanks for the note! I am like you when it comes to having two kids or one. I think I am just the one-kid type, but I think my husband wants two. About the breast feeding, I can't decide if I want to breast feed or not.... B (my husband) is 23 years old and he's not really in to the whole me breast feeding thing... So... I don't know. But if it helps you lose weight, then hey thats another excuse to do it!!!!
from odalisk :
on the whole, I've enjoyed being an only child. But it's true that only children need to be actively socialized.
from elgan :
Don't fret the potty training, really. No matter how much you want it to happen, it will happen when AJ is ready and no one else. I hated it when people would see my almost-three-year-old still in diapers and sniff and say, My Suzie was potty-trained at 18 months. Bullshit! Or even if it's true, my little girl/guy is not your Suzie! It's the same story for if he wets the bed. You can expect it to happen until he's seven, no kidding! No amount of good advice from your neighbours is going to speed up his own pace of development. As for preschool, you're right about him being a kid and needing to play in a safe environment. He will have all the rest of his life to be in school, for crissakes! And he's already in a very stimulating environment at home, so what's the hurry. Let him enjoy being a kid while he still has a chance!
from eggsaucted :
Ah the beauty of the Hyde Park Co-Op and the Hyde Park Community! It is a glorious thing!
from elgan :
I’ve been enjoying your diary very much. I too am a Costco shopper. I call it worshipping at the altar of consumerism. I think the first time I entered the holy precincts I couldn’t get my jaw off of my chest, the whole place was such an awesome experience! Now I know to bring a list with me. I can also sympathise with you about shopping for a new car. We did it just over a year ago and were stupefied by all the things the salesman doesn’t tell you and get tacked on at the end. Be prepared to pay about $3,000 more than the ticket price (after taxes).
from manduca :
hi! i've become a costco shopper too. since they generally carry one choice per item type, i imagine some perfect form of a costco customer's home, in which all the items are the ones you can buy from costco. sometimes i look around my own kitchen and see it. it's scary in a Stepford kind of way.
from fourlfclover :
I love your diary. It's cool, and the 100 Things page is great!
from eggsaucted :
Ok...to defend my juice decision(I know you weren't attacking, only suggesting and advising as I requested!), I only give her 100% juice with no sugar added and she loved it. When I say love I mean the kid begged for it. It was god send when she would have no liquid from a bottle unless I gave it to her, which sort of defeated the purpose of giving her liquid from a bottle. She's never had formula, partly because I saw no point, partly because they saw breastmilk is better, partly because the stuff is more money than I want to spend. Knowing my picky little princess, she'll reject that too. I've tried sippy cups with juice or water, that gets smacked away just like the juice. My baby sitter aka my dad said she drank about 6 ounces of juice today+ some water from a sippy cup and some water from a glass. I'm still worried she's not drinking enough. But she is showing no signs of dehydration. I might be worrying needlessly, I guess I'll hang in there and see how she does. Thanks!
from eggsaucted :
Totally agree about the windows at Field's this year. In fact I think I said something similar in an entry 2 weeks ago. Not nearly as well done as in years past, and knowing the story, it was poorly told. I can't wait for the princess to be old enough to actually understand what she's looking at and to get toys that I get to play with while putting together and wrapping. Merry Merry! R & M
from raven72d :
A memorial to an attack is vur' different from a memorial to fallen soldiers. It has to help harden resolve, not just commemorate the dead. It takes a Roman, not a postmodernist sensibility.
from manduca :
hi harriet - i've been really enjoying reading your diary. i hadn't seen the "tumbling woman" statue or heard of the controversy. thanks for the pointer. i went to the vietnam war memorial for the first time just this year, my amorphous plans to visit gelled by a nytimes article about maya lin. in the article, they talk about the controversy surrounding the memorial even as it was built and the dissent of veterans' groups who ended up adding a statue nearby to represent their vision of the heroism of us soldiers in vietnam. i love the maya lin memorial, and also the uss arizona memorial (http://www.nps.gov/usar/). the trip out to it by boat limits the number of people who can be there at one time, which has positive and negative consequences; it also puts a threshold between one's daily life and the visit.
from odalisk :
there are also all the very interesting memorials that have been built in Germany over the past fifteen/twenty years. And a few in, say, Lebanon. I think that most memorial designers would have to think of those too...memorials have become very, very interesting lately, and much less simple. I think that as long as most Americans are still in denial about what happened in NYC when the trade center was hit (as part of a continuum with a past and a future) they won't deal very will with any memorial...and there's certainly very little desire to see the helplessness, the weakness, the patheticness of it. The waste. I took three or four seminars dealing with public art forms/memorialization/etc. my senior year of college, in NYC the year that the WTC was hit, and so they are all really mixed up in my head anyhow.
from misspinkkate :
Thanks so much for adding me to your list of favorites- I will love you forever!!!!
from reoko :
You are a great writer in the way you just say whatever comes out... your diary is a lot of fun...Keep it up...
from dlandbanner :
Take the Diaryland Banner challenge!
from katehackett :
Your 100 things ...thing is SO funny.
from rs536-2000 :
I never heard her before, but I LOVE Florence Foster Jenkins...that's SO GREAT!
from broken-face :
5. I can only ever remember two jokes on demand. One begins “A piece of string walked into a bar….” FRAYED KNOT!!! Our history teacher told us that joke. Great Stuff.
from odalisk :
Hey. I was just reading a chapter from this book - "Twilight Memories" by Andreas Huyssen - you've probably heard of it already, but just in case - he talks about a "museum fetish" really brilliantly, so if you haven't read it yet - do so! double time!
from eggsaucted :
Still think its a very small world! Totally agree that small people take up lots of square footage. Plus with the holidays I know she is just going to accumulate more. Actually she accumulates more just about everytime her gradmother goes shopping. I'm glad I asked you about L & K, I've been meaning to for a while, but I kept forgeting, I just saw mortgage paperwork the other day and made me think of it.
from missleigh :
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Oh my.
from eggsaucted :
Stats was forced on us in college. But was lucky in that I was able to take stats for anthro majors. I don't think I would have survived stats for non-social sciences. Did pretty well actually considering it had been years since I'd taken any sort of math. Common sense is the best part of stats.
from rs536-2000 :
I cannot explain those titles to you--they are horrifying! If you need me to recommend a basic stats book, let me know...but you are right that most of what you really need to know is common sense.
from eggsaucted :
Well that's good news about the oncology department. If I am able to dazzle them with my interview skills, maybe I'll like working there. Still hoping maybe to snag a few other interviews with the other 7 jobs I applied for. But this one still sounds promising. I've lived in Hyde Park all of my life except college, so I know there are childcare options, I just didn't know what work I'd be doing so couldn't really figure out childcare. Plus I really don't want to leave my baby. On the other hand, I must work.
from melwadel :
He DOES look like David Hyde Pierce! Freakily so!
from eggsaucted :
I could have waved as you went by on the train, I live in one of the stony island buildings along the train tracks. Might be rejoining the U of C community myself, depends on how the interview goes on Friday.
from melwadel :
Mmm, herbs! Mint! Mojitos! Sorry, got a little distracted there....;-)
from odalisk :
Huh. The basic idea was that trying to see something that's not there in an object - i.e., the presence of history or the artist, etc. - constitutes a fetish.
from rs536-2000 :
Not a waste of time! I love this entry.
from lass :
Well, you know my views are primarily rhetorical because I don't have kids of my own...I might well feel differently about all of that stuff if it applied to flesh-of-my-flesh. Thanks for the bourbon, by the way. *hic
from lass :
My sister's 2 oldest boys had Barbies (the younger two have shunned Barbie for Spiderman); her 10-year-old was Britney Spears for Halloween last year (a friend of his dared him and he did it, in a costume sewn for him by my sister)...Personally, I see nothing wrong with any of that but I know a lot of people who do. And at AJ's age it is completely developmentally in line for him to want to do some cross-gender dressing up.
from lass :
I was in the Windmill City...and it was a long, hard day. Blah.
from lass :
Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings...I can understand the emotions that drive a person to suicide...but I've also lived through that kind of loss...it's just sad from any perspective.
from lass :
Hope your boy is doing okay - sounds a little scary! I've been mulling over the Hollywood Plath-fest, myself. I don't think I'm going to go see the movie, for a number of reasons - primarily, I think it's going to suck ass. If they had casted someone like Lili Taylor as Sylvia, I might have considered it...
from melwadel :
I hate the bug population's annual migration indoors. My take is, I don't try to "live" for any length of time in your home, don't you try it in mine. Die, monster, die!
from lass :
Veg and I were discussing the good reverend Wildmon and his cronies - specifically the one who currently resides in the White House - last night. What a creepy world we live in...
from veg :
Yeah, I would love to try your recipe (my e-mail is evinz@hotmail dot com). Beets are the best vegetable ever, no? They look like something beamed down from another planet, but with friendly intentions. They taste good, too.
from trapidi :
y don't u like pie?
from lass :
I've struggled with the notion of privacy as well. There is a lot of my real life on my page, but I also have continuing threads that contain fictional people and events...partly to amuse myself and partly to keep the creative juices flowing for my "real" writing. Any time I've invited real-life friends to read my diary, it has been with two caveats: one is that they never talk to me about it and two is that they understand that there is a lot of "fictionalized reality" on the page. With few exceptions, this has worked well for me. I have also had the pleasure of meeting and befriending several people through d-land -- an unexpected bonus.
from odalisk :
dude, I just emailed that link to everybody in my program. That is crazy. Crazy crazy crazy. So much craziness.
from lass :
Did you say "pie"? Hee.
from lass :
"Kill the pig! Smash its head!" That book seriously creeps me out - even after repeated readings.
from lass :
Sauerkraut, cheese and dressing, grilled. Yum. Do we talk about food enough?!
from lass :
Mmmm...fried plantains...
from lass :
I had no idea Plimpton and Robert Palmer died! I was too busy being in love this weekend. And yes, Comfort looks less than comfortable, doesn't it? It is actually a charming little town but apparently no one at the Chamber of Commerce wants you to know that.
from eggsaucted :
Ok that should be you lived in hyde park, we were practically neighbors. I need to start reading whole entries before I leave notes.
from eggsaucted :
Wow...you live in hyde park. We're practically neighbors!
from lass :
Whoa! G & G in cyberspace!! Thanks for the excuse to goof off this afternoon...
from lass :
How can you NOT like Highlights? It has Goofus and Gallant, for crying out loud...
from eggsaucted :
Hey you listed me as a buddy. It always surprises me that someone reads my diary and trust me there are precious few who read it. Thanks for reading!
from lass :
No diss on John Ritter intended; it's just that Johnny Cash strikes more of a chord with me, for a lot of reasons...Also, I completely agree with your assessment of the Sept. 11th commemoration stuff; I feel like the children of the victims were used yesterday and it made me very uncomfortable. I know someone who died in the south tower. I don't need to see the footage over and over again, or have some talking head recount his/her horror as he/she watched from the safety of a tv studio to make it any more real or to help me remember. Now you know why I don't own a tv. Blah. And the only purpose the rehashing serves for children under the age of 10 is to terrify and confuse them. End of rambling, on-the-fly sermon.
from lass :
Ahahahahaha! My sister bought the super duper pooper video for her son and for about a year, none of us could get that f-ing song out of our heads. You have my deepest sympathy.
from lass :
I took my younger charge to his preschool orientation today, too. Since when are rice krispie treats and granola bars NOT sugary snacks?
from lass :
No problem - using Amazon is like thrift store shopping sometimes -- you have to keep checking back periodically to see if they have what you want (especially is it's out of print).

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