messages to herdarlinsin:
(click here to add new message):

from my-serenade :
I rarely apologize, not "never." I have only recently written one thing directly to you and that was my most recent entry that was published because it could apply to so many other people in my life and the lives of people who read my diary. You see in MY words (which are MY WORLD) what you want to see. If I have something to say to you directly, even though words may be inspired by events between us (as well as many, many other people), I will say them to you. My writing is about me and my experiences and my everything, and I try to write in a way to make -everyone- connect with those words, which means twisting them into something worth reading. You placed labels and expectations on yourself I did not create- you are not good enough, you're "out of your league," and so on. -I- never felt that way about you. You let your vision of me and what you believed my standards were/are ruin what we had. No, this was not the only problem. But relationships have problems and I didn't see any reason why it couldn't be overcome UNTIL you admitted you were and have always been IN love with me. I wasn't -hoping- for this to be the answer. Yes, it would have hurt to hear you lied about it, but I never wanted you to be in love with me. But when you were honest with me recently, I was able to let go of all the hurt you have caused me and again be happy for the relationship we had. Yet it also made me understand I, by being what you've said is the person you love first, would continue to be a constant source of pain and rejection because I do not feel the same way for you. I can't say I'd ever be able to let you go or want to internally, but I wanted to at least try to be less present in you somehow. To try to make up for you being more in love with me than I could give back in that way. I know while your honesty is able to put me at ease, my honesty about my feelings for you from the very beginning did not keep your own from being real. And I promise, though I so rarely do that either, I would erase myself from your life entirely to have you be happier without ever having known me now. I am not "done" because I want to be, I've had to choose to be a skeleton in your closet because I do love you. Someone else deserves that love more than me, someone else should make you happy like I did. I just don't know how to undo who I am to you.
from asrael :
Nahhh, no bombshells on the way, just good things! *sends good things* :P Congratulations on the grad! How excited/proud are you?
from idontpretend :
Wtf?
from asrael :
Long time no write. Sadface.
from breathe-salt :
hey love <3 no, not yet- he's only 18 and is finishing up his senior year of high school. but he still plans to, and i have no doubt that he will someday.
from asrael :
Love your template. It's stripetastic!
from lonelyhaven :
love, in all it's magnificence, is still conveyed in one simple word... "love"... so many of us spend our entire lives seeking it's embrace and trying to describe its splendor to anyone willing to listen. But, to those who've never felt real love, It is, and always will be, just a word... my dear, over all the years, you still have a place in my life no matter how small. Is this, do you think, a rendition of love? Either way, you crossed my mind once more and here I am to tell you so.
from bipolarchick :
No I'm not obligated to look at the pictures. They're just on the "highlight reel" across the right-hand side of my Facebook main page....although she does ask me on occasion - "Did you see the new pictures?"
from bipolarchick :
At first she just said: "Do you think it'll fit me?" And then when I laid into her she corrected herself and asked if I thought the top would fit - since her boobs are smaller. It's a fucking string bikini - you can ADJUST the top and bottom...gimmie a GODDAMN break!
from silentpoetry :
Damn...I just read your newest entry where you are bitching at your sister. I understand exactly how you feel. I have an older sister, well technically she's a half sister but I've never considered her that. She thinks the world handed her shit on a plate though and thinks that we all owe her everything and blah blah blah...she wants people to feel sorry for her because her life didn't go the way she wanted it to...although she had complete control over it at the time. But yeah, it sucks, she's my sister, gotta love her most of the time but doesn't me I have to love the things she does. I hope your sister wakes up and realizes what she is doing before it's too late and she ends up all alone. Then she will see that the whole time she was blaming and pushing away the wrong people when in fact it was herself being selfish and greedy. Good luck!
from bipolarchick :
I deleted them, bc I was losing sleep over the thought that you-know-who would stumble upon them...God only knows how THAT would be possible, but I thought I got it off my chest, I'm good to go...however, that being said - I stand by every hateful word I said! ;) xo
from asrael :
I just read your 090418_53 entry, I didn't know any of that stuff about you. <3
from bipolarchick :
Okay...I've got nuthin' to send you but my hugs (again...cyber hugs are all I got...) and still some more prayers for you and your family (as well as your $ hungry sister)...chin up... xo
from bipolarchick :
Hugs to you and your family and prayers for your Mommy... xxoxoxoxooxox
from idontpretend :
If I remember right, yeh.
from idontpretend :
Wtf is wrong with people?
from jiltedsoul :
Your return leaves me with more questions than answers.
from brokenwords :
USERNAME: casses PASSWORD: mots just out of curiosity, how did you find my site?
from jiltedsoul :
Your words are always appreciated; as is your friendship. Today's update will give you insight into what I've decided.
from jiltedsoul :
Would it be my life if it wasn't out of control? Miss you.
from ceilings :
i'm a 34D all natural.. i'm quite proud of them lol. and with sex and sluttiness, i don't know, it just became easy one day. one day my lust for sex just began to outweigh my lust for validation or comittment from boys.
from degausser :
some guy or a situation or a way of life or all of the above. haha, it's hard to be sure.
from myheavyheart :
thank you so much for the sweetness. it really made me smile.
from imatwin :
Well, you made me laugh. My Halloween went pretty okay. I think I was doing a bit of both when giving out treats to all the little kiddies who came to the door. Which included pretending that I was hanging my father. That was pretty amusing. The only crap thing about it was all my friends came to my door begging me to come out with them when I had had to go to private vocal lessons. Oh well, there is always next year. I will find a way ;) How was yours? Hopefully much more exciting than my own.
from imatwin :
I'm one of those people who see it as another one of those holidays that are just products of the card companys etc. Haha. Really, I've never had a reason to like it so... yeah, I just don't.
from idontpretend :
I'm so sorry about the baby. When Nancy and I were together, she had gotten pregnant by me more than once. And everytime, she miscarried. My condolensces, and my thoughts, are with you and your family.
from smashley719 :
*HUGS**HUGS**HUGS**HUGS*
from some1smommy :
Tell Heather she's a beautiful poet.
from some1smommy :
I'm so, so sorry honey! I just happened to log on to dland today and found out about your precious grandbaby! I wish there was something I could do for you guys! I can't imagine the pain. If you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. *huge hugs* If there's anything I can do, let me know!
from my-serenade :
i wasn't referring to two years ago. i was referring to a couple months ago when you decided to tell lies in front of your girlfriend just so you looked good. but whatever. i don't want your messages, not one in response of this or anything else. do not leave me any more messages of any kind for any reason.
from wisdamn :
You totally inspired me to keep up with this diary more. Thanks. Read all you like, and enjoy. :)
from my-serenade :
ya know, you made the decision. you made all of this happen. you chose to do the things you did and say the things you did. so if you aren't satisfied with it, it's not my problem. i have no issue with what you decided anymore, and i don't want you in my life. if you want to read my diary and think it's all directed toward you- fine, whatever. my diary is not some encrypted way of sending you messages. if i have something to say, like now, i'll do it in the manner i am. i have written ONE thing that was pointed at you and that was to not assume anything about what i write. you aren't here, you are not a part of anything that happens here, no matter what you think. and i'm okay with that, i'm okay with all of it. because you made a decision and i moved on. if you aren't happy about something you better come up with a better way of expressing it than little sarcastic notes or diary entries or whatever. or just don't say anything at all.
from sparkspark :
Happy birthday, and wishes for a brilliant year ahead. XO Violet
from smashley719 :
lol, i tried, my imaging software here at work is expired and it wont let me resize it ;) working on it though lol
from idontpretend :
Ever seen The Matrix? Remember how the Matrix was originally designed to be a perfect utopia? But the humans couldn't accept it, and started dying? So the machines redesigned it to be imperfect, flawed? And the humans were happy? Well.....she's probably just bored. :)
from my-serenade :
thats why i specifically said don't assume. because you're wrong, it wasn't aimed at you or even people you know. it wasnt even written to anyone who is online or would have access to what i write. your comment, about drama, and what others had said in recent days (from all accounts was not about me) inspired what i wrote. i cant even recall the last thing i wrote about or toward you. im glad you're glad things are going well for me or whatever.
from smashley719 :
i'm glad to see that everything is starting to sort itself out for you; it's strange how things work themselves out. wishing you the best of luck preparing for the baby and i hope that it only brings you more joy and happiness over the years. :) thanks for always being there, even if i was absent for a long time. drop me an email sometime silken_butterfly at hotmail ---the wdum queen
from duckreviews :
Hey there, dear. It's been a long time, I know, and that I must have the balls of steel (that don't interest you in the least) to come waltzing back into your life after so much absense and not one word. Take me back. Or something. In any case, I was wondering whether or not you still wanted your Duck Reviews review, seeing as you no longer link to any of that nonsense, and the link is my way of knowing you still want it and all. Just tell me which way you're leaning and I would apppreciate it. Oh, AND HOW ARE YOU?!
from smashley719 :
im glad to hear from u too! glad to see that at least someone i know is still on old dland. hope that everything is going better for you than it was in the past , lots of smiles for chrissy bear! (can't believe that I still remember that! )--ash
from my-serenade :
you can walk away from arguments, you can walk away from situations. you can't walk away from a person once entwined to your very soul. a best friend. dissection, ripping, tearing, severing. that's what this is. why use pretty words when you sure as hell didnt a few nights ago. but hey, it's just more bullshit. that song, a song i loved and meant so much to me, is about returning, not walking away. too little, too late is right. i just had no idea how right.
from my-serenade :
oh, that entry that is up is about stevie, but i try not to think about all that as much as i think about making sure she gets what she deserves. i really want to update you on everything. i hear new shit all the time. call me or give me your number.
from my-serenade :
im doing perfect, except the fact that my damn diary won't let me add new entries. i'm getting a tat on tuesday, today's my one year living here anniversary, i've lost over 5 inches in my waist and 10 pounds, it's summer ad pride is all over the place. in short, i'm doing fab. except my damn diary lol i even wrote dland today. hopefully that helps. until then though, i put a new entry on myspace. okay i think this note is long enough now. don't you know how to dial the damn phone??? lol call me hooker!
from idontpretend :
Awesomeness on the publication. I'm jealous. :)
from tokcocktok :
Surrender me!
from somuchsugar :
what a loving & beautiful message for your mom! It must mean so much to her to have you.
from orgami :
found that lost thread i am in here somewhere tonight the moon illuminates the empty branches paints the rooftops mercury the silver curl of chimneys breath rises to join the blaze of stars I am going now to join the simple statures of dreaming states to find my selves in that sweet cloaked history ...O...
from jammybastard :
Welcome back! Just shoot me an email (the diaryland one is fine) and I'll get you the access details.
from somuchsugar :
I just wanted to tell you that the kindess of your wonderful comment on my blog has brought tears to my eyes! You have brightened my day more than I can tell you. I look forward to more of your poetry.
from idontpretend :
Wow, you used to live here? We're having a great time so far. It's not the busy season, so it's not too busy or anything, which is nice. But everything's closing so early. :(
from somuchsugar :
wow I love your poem today! i wish I could write like that; you are indeed a talented writer.
from minstrelite :
Thanks for the wonderful compliment. Your own poetry is certainly evocative, in its own rite.
from idontpretend :
lol, I watched the auditions for the comedic entertainment value. I'm not sure how much I'm going to follow the actual competition. Heh. Reality shows are still shows, just with a 'reality' basis. So I don't take them at face value. I watch a very small handful of Reality Shows, which are actually pretty entertaining, as long as you watch them with the understanding that they're based on real life, and not actual reality. Hehe.
from meganwaits :
sounds like you got something special in mind for valentines day.
from idontpretend :
lol, I'm glad my wanting comment amused you. Hehe. I just really want to connect with someone, so I don't feel so alone, you know? And you can't connect with someone much deeper than if you have sex with them. :x Beyond being in love anyways.
from no7blvd :
so sweet... :)
from idontpretend :
lol, you can talk to me too if you want. shrapnel2099 on Yahoo. :)
from idontpretend :
Thank you. :) I wish it were true, that she would someday realize what she threw away, and that she threw away something incredible. But it's hard for me to believe she'll ever understand. Sigh. I do feel like I've come a long ways now. Like I am accomplishing something, in putting my life back together, and actually feel like I can live again, for the first time in months.
from miedema2002 :
Thank you for your kind notes. I appreciate your support. I think you may have misunderstood what I think is weird though. I have come to peace with my bi-sexuality in terms of accepting it. I was just wondering if those behaviours or preferences had any indication of my bi-sexuality and if those were weird traits to have. Thanks again. Emily
from neverbeme :
You sound like a very lucky person.
from idontpretend :
Awesome entry
from idontpretend :
Because the one you love, loves you back.
from idontpretend :
I'm jealous
from idontpretend :
Thank you for thinking such things
from idontpretend :
I'm at work, and I want to cry, and it's really hard not to. I'm sorry. :(
from idontpretend :
:'(
from idontpretend :
holy fuck that last entry nails what I'm feeling
from lonelyhaven :
hello love, how is life treating you?
from some-trouble :
Happy New Year to you and yours, and may 2007 bring you all you hope for!
from imatwin :
By the sounds of it, I'm glad my mum hasn't dragged me to the doctors to get meds because I've been going through depression in and out for the last four years or so. I think taking all those bloody pills every day would drive me insane. I'm drowsy as it is!
from idontpretend :
I'm proud of you, for making that entry way back when. People are way too dependent on drugs to "cure" them and make them happy. People are allowed to feel down. Drugs are not a cure-all. Drugs may have their place, but they are not the miracle answer to all our problems. The real solution is to face what's wrong in our lives, and find a way to overcome. I hate drugs. I've been on Prosac, and in my opinion, it didn't do shit for me. One of my friends claims that it made a difference in me, and I'm sure it did, but I never really felt it myself. I didn't like the way I felt on it. Eventually, I learned how to deal with my shit on my own. I still have problems with it from time to time, but I'm alot happier not being on any drug, than being on one, and experiencing artificial happiness.
from sassyass2132 :
Thank you.. As I rewrote those last few entry's I cryed. The tears still running down my face. I was so scared and weak back then and I didnt think I could live with out Debbie. I know the next entry will freak out some people who love me but it was my last and final entry in my real diary that Debbie had given me. I have come a long way and I couldn't have done it with out the help of some very special people and I love them with all my heart and soul, because of them I am alive and I am happy and STRONG.
from themaster :
it has been a long long time, since I have heard, or have read you. A long time. I admit, I thought that I would leave this diary thing behind, but I always come back. I am excited for you, truely velvet heart...I truely hope that in your journey that you can find that happiness and wholeness that you deserve, know that nothing can keep it from you if you only reach...and know that possitive energy creates all...i may be the biggest hipocrit, i can never seem to listen to my own advise. I have had sometime to grow up here, this will be the end of my fifth year here at diaryland and when I started, I was in middleschool. And I am such a dork, but I wanted you to know, if it means nothing at all or if it means something. I am here. Take care, take care of yourself and your heart ans your soul. Take care.
from idontpretend :
We said goodbye for the night/morning. She even asked if she could call me later. I have no idea what she wants. Or if she's thinking about anything in particular. I bought her some incense a month or so ago, and she finally got it. It was her favorite incense ever, and she didn't think she'd ever find it anywhere again. She seemed to be very surprised that I had found some for her. And I want to say happy. But....I don't know.
from jiltedsoul :
jiltedsoul@gmail.com...explanation required!
from imatwin :
Thanks, I'd have to say thanks to my mum and dad for that.
from idontpretend :
Thank you, I agree with everything you said. :) I just wish she could see and understand it too. Ya know?
from idontpretend :
I hope things get straightened out soon. I know how it is, being in an emotional battle.
from idontpretend :
Anytime. :)
from finallywoken :
First off I don't come here to criticize you or your life to or with my girlfriend,I don't tell her anything you write about unless it concerns us.Second I never said I told you so,that was all my girlfriend.I come here maybe with the hopes of finding out how Heather is,but it seems like you are to wrapped up in your little heartbreak to say some things about your children.As far as you fixing things I don't care how you think you are going to fix things,you won't fix them with me and I doubt very much you will be able to fix them with my girlfriend,especially after calling her a bitch.Any way I guess your life and how you feel takes precedent over your children,which in my opinion is how it has always been.There now you know how I feel about everything.
from idontpretend :
Mario Andretti sounds like a wise man. :o
from breathe-salt :
"And, to answer the question I was once asked, "Was she worth it?" Hell yes, she was. And, I don't regret a minute of it." Reading that made me smile. You're awesome.
from idontpretend :
Thank you, I just..can't believe her. :/
from asrael :
how are things?
from dragprincess :
All I can say is what I've learned from being EXACTLY where you are. 1) you are being dragged. Let go. 2) stop reading her diary. Just stop. What are you gaining from that? How is that serving you? It's just renting space in your head, driving you crazy. 3) Keep the focus on yourself. Let Tammy do what she needs to do. You cannot control her behavior. 4) I have been where you are. If you need to spill -- privately -- email me at dragprincess@diaryland.com
from dragprincess :
You are in mourning - and that's okay. You are absolutely allowed to feel the way you feel. One suggestion - don't put "absolutes" on future relationships. You feel TODAY that you'll never be in a relationship again -- but that's today. Tomorrow, you may feel differently. Think about what you could have done differently with Tammy and how that can change in the future. And letting go is so beautiful. "Let go or be dragged" is my motto. When you're ready to let go, there will be tremendous freedom in no longer being dragged.
from dragprincess :
Lots of hurt there, which is totally understandable. But it's okay. Look at your part in all of this -- learn from it -- and grow.
from bluemeany :
Hey, don't you fret! I've been terribly neglectful of my favorite diaries, too -- no hard feelings. And thank you so much for the love, I can never get enough!
from ashnwesten :
No, I'm certain that I don't know you.
from kayrayne :
So, if Jack is really just me, does that then already make me a lesbian?? If I could go without the cock, I would go lesbian. But I just crave it too much. Wait a sed.. *waits* Yup, Jack is calling me. Time for some tender lovin! hehe...
from kayrayne :
Oh, I do get real sex, just not enough I guess. Plus, no man has ever been able to make me cum, nor truely satisfy the beast within me like Jack does. Jack also doesn't try to fuck me up the ass when I don't want him to, or get me to suck his cock before he'll even touch my pussy. He goes right for the treasure, and doesn't stop till I tell him to. Even then, he's reluctant to leave. His only purpose is to please me. What could be better?? He doesn't judge me. I'm yet to find a man who can compare. But I'm trying...
from kayrayne :
oh boy do I ever have the best orgasm's with Jack. You better believe it! Thanks for your note. I know I'm a dirty little girl, and I love it. I try to share the love around.. hehe.. It'll be good reading you...
from jiltedsoul :
I must also disagree that our past predicts our future. Our future is, as corny as it sounds, what we make of it. Those that live in the past will bring the past to their future. Those that learn from their past will have a better future. You've already begun that journey, and I'm honored to have had some small part in it.
from jiltedsoul :
I of course haven't been the best of a friend to you, as I have disappeared into my own ruins. But I am saddened by what you told me. I find it all hard to believe, that after everything, it's left like that. Remember you are better than all that...remember that.
from andwebreathe :
I am going through a lot of emotional ups and downs, and other people are making it hard for me to get my head into a good place and keep it there. read my latest entry for some insight into that.
from augustdreams :
Grrr. I hate when someone gets pissy about what you write. I hope they'll get over it soon. Just don't feel like you have to censor yourself. If they don't like it... nobody's forcing them to read.
from sweetkel :
Hey Chrissy, this is Karen. I just added you on msn, please accept me thanks!
from jammybastard :
Happy birthday, by the way! Be sure to work on your strap-on technique -- I assure you they can be bring a lot of joy to a relationship (or a one-night trick, for that matter).
from wordsofmine :
Thanks for stopping by to read and leaving a note. I appreciate the feedback. Have a grand day.
from glassboxgurl :
I am deeply touched by your kind compliments and support. Although I don't know you either, your comments are appreciated beyond words.
from hothead :
since you're not at all the first person to say that recently, i changed the link to go to my notes section. until i figure out how to do a comment box again (i downgraded to regular gold, and can't get haloscan to work), notes it is! see? constructive critisism is ALWAYS welcomed. sorry you lost your funny.
from jammybastard :
See, that's just it -- I really don't have to lie. I say I'm going out drinking with so and so and that's what I do. I might not mention the sex, but then I don't mention the late-night slice of pizza, either. And no one asks me point blank, in any case.
from glassboxgurl :
thanks so much for the comment. knowing somebody is reading those words makes me feel like moving forward is actually possible.
from jammybastard :
You flatter me, darling. Odds are it will probably be your demise. But it's nice to know you're thinking of me.
from jammybastard :
In Scotland a jammy bastard is essentially a man of almost laughably good fortune, lucky well beyond what his dastardly behavior warrants. I'm essentially an asshole for whom things just keep going incredibly well. In a just world I would have received my comeuppance long ago. But I just keep getting away with murder, and the longer it continues the bolder I get. In short, I'm reprehensible. But fun to be around!
from jammybastard :
Of COURSE you should have more dirty lesbian sex! How can you even doubt?
from augustdreams :
You're an amazing artist! Thanks for sharing those drawings. Loved the pics too. Just wanted to drop by and tell you that, and that I'm still reading. I just don't remember to stop by here and tell you as often as I should. *hug*
from preshusthorn :
how about YOU find me a new guestbook? so there!
from preshusthorn :
the guestbook won't let me turn off the censor thing. i have it on the lowest setting, but i guess the F is just too bad for it's own good.
from ashnwesten :
Oh, no I don't believe I know you. I haven't read enough to be sure, but I'm pretty sure. Where are you from?
from ashnwesten :
Yes, I'm Ashley...
from enigmawolf :
sometimes, one needs to cry to find anything and everything associated with it, for crying displays emotion.. hope you get back to yourself soon, we'll all be waiting for you. :)
from hothead :
oooh lord...butch girls in black bras and wife beaters. it is this that makes my world go round. mmmmmhmmm!
from hothead :
i don't know what to say, except thank you. i needed that...and now i'm finally ready to try sleep, i think. hang in there, darlin. :)
from hothead :
yay! thanks.
from tokcocktok :
I should have told you this, but I manage content as part of my redesigns. And that includes getting rid of unnecessary clutter and rearranging certain things. I'm sorry. I would also appreciate it if you stopped noting me because I'm on vacation until the end of August. See you then.
from gazrip :
No probs. Don't worry about me. I don't think there's enough humanity left in me most of the time to get offended.
from gazrip :
Thanks for clearing that up then. And yes, I need to cheer up a bit. I'll lighten up when stupidity isn't the main global political driver. I may have to wait a while. Have a nice day.
from hothead :
you locked. hmmm.
from hate-me- :
<3 you. I'm sorry, I really should be around more but it's just getting to be really difficult to find time with all of the kids right now. hope you're doing well.
from cheekyash :
just doing some random diary skimming. really liked your words ♥
from preshusthorn :
you running off to WI
from hothead :
of course i do. see below, silly. :)
from hothead :
DAMMIT. it's done now, though. i like RENT, too...does that help make up for the flakiness? :)
from hothead :
this is WEIRD. i found you the other night randomly and loved your diary. i kept meaning to add you and just haven't...and now here you are! here's to the cosmos, i guess. welcome to senza. we're glad to have you.
from jammybastard :
Key West?
from tokcocktok :
I'm sorry, it was just so messy!
from bipolarchick :
I love YOUR emotions, YOUR FUCKING AWESOME! I love your poem about ORAL - I think only chicks like us can appreciate some gooooooooood oral! lol - love ya! :P
from augustdreams :
Your entry on love was so beautiful. I adored every word, and you described it so perfectly. You're an amazingly talented writer, and I'm honored to be able to share in your life through your words.
from tokcocktok :
Nice design!
from bipolarchick :
Dude - that was fucking hot! Is okay to be wet in the office??? lol :P
from some1smommy :
Anyone ever told you that you're a nut? j/k ttys
from bipolarchick :
God - so inspriting and thought provoking - as per ususal. To many I'm still young, but I feel like I have the mind of an old fart. BTW. I've already got the sunscreen thing covered - never leave home without it. *wink* :P
from ruchiii :
Thanx buddy for leaving such an encouragement note for me.For me it is like a self revelation which has come through u. I don't have enough words to thank u for it but this msg will stick in my memory forever...
from gumphood :
I haven't heard from AJ in over 6 months.
from sparkspark :
xoxox and thank you for your very sweet note! I'm going to crawl through your archives now, although in retrospect, that sounds creepy, possibly even stalkery. Sorry. But now that I've typed it, I can't erase it. That would be cheating. XO Violet
from preshusthorn :
i finally found the words i've wanted to say about how you've been feeling. you have spoken of a closeness between you, sheri, and i. but i was never a part of that. prior to and during your time that you lived with sheri and stevie, you developed a much deeper friendship with sheri than i realized. (i mean that, i never really knew how close you and her were while i was off being an idiot with stevie.) a friendship i was not an acting member of, but based upon. then, because of stevie our friendship and your and sheri's friendship was scarred. because of that you tried to make do the best you could without sheri and i. in that time we all changed. not for better or worse per se. i have not attempted to strengthen our relationship right now because i do not have it in me to continue yet another long distant relationship. i need a break from phones and emails and messaging desperately. my loyalties are rightfully to one person. you are not forgotten, or worthless. as horrible as i feel for saying this, i have put you on hold. for myself and for our friendship. it would only be tense and strained if i did otherwise. in less than three weeks i will be there and things will change once again. and stop worrying about your damn weight and appearance. i've loved you for years without skin and bone, i'll love you always.
from asrael :
Maybe it's better if she's lounging at home and not makin babies for you to take care of. Ew babies :(
from cakalaki :
whispered memories play over and over again inside my head. things i'd rather not remember. i'm sorry i didn't answer the phone the other day when you called, i was half asleep and had a horrible headache. tony left once again, and isn't coming back for a few months, but when he does come back, he's taking me back to houston with him. he wants me there with him, and all i have to do is finish school and i can go. i'm so bored right now. it's unreal how bored i am. lol. ♥
from ruchiii :
I admire you journal a lot for the intensity and wonderful expression of you feelings and emotions. I wish I could use words as beutifully as u and convey my feelings to the man I Love more than anything in the world...
from watdfuck :
LOL. Forgive me. I've been occupied with CHORES. Haiz...
from kommkayriel :
Do not discount the power of the word, my friend. There are mysteries and power in words of which most know nothing. But think on this, and be not dismayed. In three simple words, a heart torn, bruised, broken, can be healed, revived, made whole and alive again....from three simple words. Oh, yes, there is power in the written word, my friend. Do not ever doubt that, no matter what. I am about to email you, and thank you for adding me to your Messenger list. I am honored. XOX
from kommkayriel :
My friend, I am sorry you feel so lost, so hollow. I would wrap you in the warmest and friendliest of embraces if I could, if I knew it could take your sorrow from you for even a moment. But all I have are these words upon this screen, and I try as I must. If you ever need someone to talk to, vent at, whatever it may be, please write to me, or find me on MSN Messenger. I am always around: ravens_soul@hotmail.com
from hate-me- :
Hello my darling. It's been a goddamned while. I'm sorry I haven't been on, but I need to try more. I miss you. <3
from for-you-only :
I love reviewing things, because I know I can always tell people not only something that could be improved, but how. And any reasonable person would understand (like you do) that I'm trying to help. I'd glad that I was understood. Feel free to submit more poems in the future.
from kommkayriel :
I weep for you, my friend...for you and your children. This world has become too harsh a place for such precious beings.I try, my friend. I try to heal and to help... Would that I could do more than place these seemingly empty letters upon a screen. But I must make do with what I have, as must we all. Upon this screen, within these words, my power is terribly limited. Still though, I try as I can. Know that I am wishing you and yours all the very best that life can possibly offer from this day until the end of all days. I wish that life were kinder to such gentle and vulnerable beings, and know that I wish I could do more for you and yours. If there is anything I can do, anything you need, ask. Ask, and I shall do my best, my friend. The hand of the Lady be upon you. xox
from lousrose :
wow, it HAS been a long time. when was the last time we talked? i'm so depressed that i don't have any emails from you anymore- i'm pretty sure we never talked since i made my last email address (pippa@mail2italian.com) and my computer crashed and i lost the other emails i had saved from you. but no matter, i'm still glad that you're easy to find and get in touch with- it's so often not the case with my other friends on diaryland. i'm doing a LOT better. i'm in college now! and i'm 18, and i still have some problems lmao but i'm definitely more stable. i'm thinking of becoming an anthropologist. :) nothing life-altering has occurred in the last year or so, except the steady progress i've been making more or less. i miss you a lot and hope everything is fine on your end. i can't help but feel bad that i no longer use lousrose- the thing is, i write in two other places now. i'll happily give you the links if you are interested. sorry it took me this long to get back to you, but i rarely sign on this username any longer. i miss you a lot and am always here if you want to talk :D *big hugs* update me when you have the chance, hon! :D
from lostincoma :
It's sensory perception and it's belief. Because if you think about it, reality wouldn't exist without vehicles, bodies that perceive and believe it. We talked about this a lot in my philosophy classes. The professor would hold up a marker and ask us what would happen if he let go of it. Naturally, we think it would fall to the ground, because of gravity and because gravity is our reality. But imagine if he were to let go and it floated in the air. Our whole belief system and way of seeing things would be demolished. I also think of The Truman Show, which I suppose deals with a different sort of reality - of genuineness. But it still deals with believing...we go through every day believing that our job and our relationships and the everyday events that happen are genuine and natural, and that movie dealt with what it was like to suddenly find out life around you was all an act.
from lonelyhaven :
Hm. I'm going to be honest when I say that I'm amazed you still use this diary. I haven't been on my site in quite some time, but it's nice knowing that somethings haven't changed.
from kommkayriel :
Also this.. @}--->--- was supposed to be a rose for you. The message screen seems to have cut it in half. So, I thought I would give it again. @}--->---- It is not much, but at least it is in one piece now. ;)
from kommkayriel :
Happy Valentine's Day to you, my twin of Shadow. I hope love touches you on this day devoted to one who helped others find love. Remember that there is one who thinks highly of you, who remembers you, and wishes you well. One who loves you, as a friend and kindred spirit, despite the unknown of each other's lives. My thoughts and best wishes are with you this day, my dear friend. xox @}--->----
from preshusthorn :
I think I've decided it isn't you I no longer know, it isn't me who's lost love for you, but rather that I know not who you love...and maybe in a way that means I don't know you at all. Five years. A little less than a third of my life. By far my longest relationship. And even without length their is meaning. I have come to another conclusion. We've stayed far to long in one place- we've been friends and lovers for so long and we have not moved. We've become stagnant and agitated by our surroundings and lost sight of our goal to move forward and ride life together. True, I did need space, but I see now that didn't mean -distance- from you. Just a change of scenery. I should have held your hand. I should have took you along. But I didn't know where -I- was going. And I didn't want to lead you head-first in to danger and pain. What I should have seen is that it didn't matter where we went but that we needed to go. We became so close it was as if the polarity of our magnetic personalities pushed us apart and spiraling into seperate directions. I've grown in this moment, this instance, and I've remembered. Will you move with me? Will you move with me here, and now, and always? You never let go of always...
from kommkayriel :
Ah, my dear sweet friend. I know you did not post it. I was attempting humor, and it appears I'm not very good at that anymore. *lol* My last little note to you was just a little joke...(I have a weird sense of humor.) You have no need to apologise to me. I thought it was quite funny, and I responded to it in kind. If anything, I should apologise to you for making you feel bad about it. So, I am sorry. Please, forgive me and my weirdness.....
from kommkayriel :
Leather pants, hmm?? I own a pair of leather pants that I wear quite often. I've been told I look quite good in them, what with the long, black hair, the black or dark blue silk shirts, the long, black overcoat... I'm a bit of a Brandon Lee/The Crow fan, not to mention Angel and Spike. (See a pattern forming here yet?) No, I am not gay. I'm just a fan of the dark, broody male, probably because I myself am tall, dark, broody, mysterious, and not a little dangerous looking. >:) Leather is not just for gay men, my dear friend. Just a little sales pitch advice. xox ;)
from fearanon :
I hope you don't mind that I added you, I mean with me being locked and all. You come highly recommended.
from candoor :
your profile sounds so much like a part of me I don't visit much lately...
from jiltedsoul :
I'm catching up, slowly yet surely. And the talk we had today opened my eyes as well. I'm a master at reading between the lines. And change is a wonderful thing. Yet deep down, we both know the truth. I know what you're really feeling...I'm here.
from jiltedsoul :
I believe whatever emails that you sent me have been taken hostage by the internet thieves. My yahoo email was shut down due to inactivity..but it's back now. Find me jilted_soul2000 on yahoo...I'm on now ;)
from jiltedsoul :
Boo
from hate-me- :
back to ontario, he's wanted to since we moved to sask, took two years -he finally got the transfer he asked for at work. all of this shit has been in the going since shortly after the internet got cut off.
from kommkayriel :
If it helps, my dear, sweet friend... I am proud of you. I see you as you were, and I see you as you are now, and I see you as you might be. What is there not to be proud of? What is there not to love? I know it is difficult for you, to be overlooked as you seem to be. But there are those out there who notice you, and adore you for the fine and beautiful being that you are. Never forget that you are noticed, that you are loved, if only by a friend. If it helps, even a little, I notice...
from kommkayriel :
It is the meaning of our lives to hope. But I know not how to measure such things. I know only that battle is better than surrender. It is not for me to judge your paths in this matter - yet I am gladdened that you have chosen a path without surrender. Whomever you wrote this latest entry for must be someone very special, and I am sure they are honored to know you care for them so much. I know I would be. A beautiful entry, my dear friend. I thank you...
from kommkayriel :
Hmmm, I hate to interupt such tender moments. They are, after all, the moments that make life extra special. However, since I have already interupted, I will continue. I have left a new entry in my diary for you, hds. Just a small token of my appreciation for you. Give it a read, when you have time. I hope you like it. Take care of yourself, my friend.....
from hate-me- :
*running my fingers through your hair, trailing them around the sides of your neck and over your shoulders.. pushing you up, kissing down your stomach..*
from hate-me- :
*plays with the clasp of your bra, unclasping it off and slowly sliding it off of you..kissing your collar bone, butterfly kisses, going lower..*
from hate-me- :
*biting down on your neck, sucking in..letting my fingers roam around the front of your shirt, before slowing sliding it off you. releasing my mouth from your neck for a split second to take your shirt off, then returning, kissing you hard..
from hate-me- :
mmm you know how t oget me going. *running my fingertips over your back, and one hand moving over to the front to feel you..*
from hate-me- :
lies. you're not sorry. and neither am I. *holding you tighter agianst me, playing my hands on your back, going down to the hem and touching my fingertips to your lower back*
from hate-me- :
well the only thing I can think of right now that I haven't tried would be gerbil stuffing..but that's definatly a no-no...*in retrospect, lighting the match was my biggest mistake. but i was only trying to retrieve the gerbil...*
from hate-me- :
hmm, well we have to establish our limits then. tellme you're's, i'll tell you mine
from hate-me- :
aww, yay. now, what shall i do with your newfound interest? hmm.. give me some ideas love.
from hate-me- :
on top, on all foors, underneath, overneath,side to side...everywhere baby:p what about you?
from hate-me- :
lol, I was reading line for line and read "mini ones" and I was like wtf, no way sister. Even if you or me don't have one, we can order a nice big one. mmm. meat.. I need t oget laid. *cries*
from hate-me- :
Only if they're flavoured. Or glow-in-the-dark. Even better, glow in th edark flavoured condoms..mmm..best of both worlds...
from hate-me- :
isn't that the state that you're not allowed to enter with a chicken on your head? or maybe that was wyoming..hmm. If it is your state, then I might have a slight problem at customs....
from hate-me- :
we also shared a hypothetical trip to paris...and next week he wants to visit malibu. :p
from hate-me- :
*hugz* Feel better? No? *giantbearhugmilliontimesoveruntilyoucantbreatheanymore* .. you better feel better now:p
from asrael :
I dated a chick. It ended horribly enough to make me swear off women forever.
from hate-me- :
every time I'm on, you're not :( this makes me a sad sexual harrasment panda. <3
from kommkayriel :
I thank you, my sorrowful friend, for taking the time to read some of my entries. I hope you like what you read, and continue to do so. I am pleased to have met another shadow such as myself. Be at peace, my friend. There are mysteries in the world of which we know nothing...
from some-trouble :
Hi Chrissi, I'm not sure when you'll get to read this, but I just wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. I hope you have a wonderful time over the holidays! Take Care, Jo X
from hate-me- :
merry christmas. one thousand hugs and a million good thoughts coming your way. <3
from kommkayriel :
I have just begun reading your diary, found through another, and I must say it is beautiful, despite the sorrow involved. I shall continue to read, if you do not mind. I also wish you a Merry Christmas, and a New Year filled with joy, peace, health, and love, for you and all your loved ones.
from hate-me- :
I know, I wish so much we could. &just the way he's been getting worse and worse I just don't want to take the chance of him finding out, even if the odds are he won't. I hate being in constant fear, and just... You're worth so more than what I can give you, so much fucking more. I'm sorry.
from hate-me- :
No,no don't let me ever make you sad. ever. my shit is my shit, not yours. I've been looking for you online the past couple of days but I haven't seen you. <3you.
from hate-me- :
Did I ever tell you that you're my favourite Chrissi? I don't think so, so I'm going to tell you now. You're my favourite Chrissi. Hope you're on tonight.<3
from hate-me- :
No most definatly not you. I'd like to kill just the one who is writing this note. I'd never want to hurt you, intentionally or unintentionally. You mean too much to me. <3
from hate-me- :
goodmorning my sunshine, it's been so fucking long. email me ok love? I've missed you so much. love, jeri - zero_space_@hotmail.com
from r-e-v-i-e-w :
your review is up. excellent job.
from raziela :
Hi dear, long time no see... how are things? I can't help but being worried about you (I'm sorry if this offends you, but I do care about you although we haven't really talked that much). I know that we haven't really talked that much (my MSN is being a pain in the neck, it's not working anymore), but I can relate to myself in most of your entries, somehow... I hope that things will get better for you, and that the pain will disappear somehow. It's not easy, I know. If only one could take all the pain away, eh? I wish it could be done. But I myself don't dare to believe in miracles anymore. Well, I don't know what I'm babbling about right now, my mind's not itself today. I hope to get to talk to you again someday, and somehow (unless MSN is going to act up on me for all eternity). Take care, dear, and always remember who you are, and that you're special. There's no one else like you, and never will be. You are unique.
from quick-view :
Hi, I saw that you were on a waiting list at one of the review sites for diaryland, and I thought I'd tell you about my review site, Quick-view! It's a little different than most review sites, but you will definitely get a review within a couple of days. Hope to see you soon!
from watdfuck :
HI! I wonder how you are doing? I miss your notes and entries ;) Take care.
from cakalaki :
Things are fucked right now, it sucks.
from cakalaki :
hey baby. I just wanted you to know that I'm okay and that everything is fine. I put in my diary the damage done by the hurricane. I hope I get to talk to you soon because I've missed you so damn much. I love you.
from tarynheart :
well, my other diary is solace-blue, and i run a writing community that she used to be a part of. she designed the layout on solace-blue for me, and we used to talk a lot, but it suddenly stopped one day, without any word from her.
from tarynheart :
hi there... uhm, i noticed a post you left in letti's diary, and i was wondering if you could tell me what happened to her? i miss her, and her entries, and i'm worried that something bad may have happened to her.
from for-you-only :
No need to appologize. I understand what you're saying/said.
from for-you-only :
I know a poem doesn't need to rhyme. Some poems really don't need it. I just personally think that most poems can be enhanced by adding in a rhyme scheme.
from poet-review :
Your review is done.
from loversvanity :
it can, but when it becomes habitual, its a problem.
from less-than3 :
*hug*
from raziela :
Hey! *hugs* How nice to receive a note from you, I feel special! =) Oh, I'm fine, just having a lot of love issues goin' on that make me go "ARGH" every now and then. How are you doing? I miss the (deep) conversations we had on MSN - and now that the university has started and my classmates are jerks, I hardly get any free time on my hands during the days to be online. I'm often online in the evenings, but I don't know what time it is by you. Heck, I can try being online in the weekends and we can talk! ^_^ I hope to hear from you again soon! <3
from somber-death :
Love the new layout. <3
from zappagrrl :
Your review is posted at Honestlyou Reviews. BTW...you diary was reviewed with the previous layout, but I like your new one better, although you did pretty good without it. I think I gave you my highest score ever. Anyway, check it out.
from alonenafraid :
Hey babe. I don't know whats up with my comp, but I can't see your diary. I really miss reading you. Love ya!
from sweetkel :
Happy Birthday Chrissy! Love you, Karen
from second-love :
I think May 26 and May 27 of 2004 covers some of my history... i know i have one better entry somewhere... but that will give ya some :))
from bluemeany :
Some of your best work, you genius. Of course I didn't get to read till I was at work, though ... not fair at all!
from bluemeany :
Oh, so excited for the story! Things are going pretty well around here; I'm just counting down the months, weeks, days till I can go home. Only four more months, yay!
from finallywoken :
I am so proud to have you as my friend.I love you sweetness :).
from graffitihart :
I love your layout, and your writing.
from bluemeany :
If anyone can bring a smile to my face, you can, m'dear!
from cutie1083 :
I've been trying to reach you on yahoo too...where are yooouuuu???? Woohoo I'm a drunken fool
from bluemeany :
Steal free cheese, har! I just wish I didn't have to depend on the Army's technology to be able to contact the outside world. At least I'm saving my deployment money so I can get a computer when I get home.
from bluemeany :
Silly! I have to guard my computer from the eyes of my bosses and other individuals ... not everyone can be lucky enough to have a computer in their own home.
from bluemeany :
Hmm, true or untrue? How 'bout whichever will make me have to guard my computer screen with more paranoia. Mm HM!
from bluemeany :
Oh YES you do need to send me some lovely words! Send, send, send!
from loversvanity :
i like you.
from cutie1083 :
my new yahoo sn is : chitown_phoenix. I really want to talk to you; I need help, Chrissy.
from hate-me- :
goodbye and take care Chrissi, my friend.
from finallywoken :
Where are you going? Why are you going? Where will Heather be? Wtf happened?
from kaybiff :
Ah! Don't worry, deary. I am in a land of awesome...and weirdoes. Because,boy howdy, Californians are weird. I just saw a man swagger down the street with a snake around his shoulders. I bet he thought he looked bad ass or something. "OOh, look, a snake. Step back: you can't handle this. OMGZ." ANYWAY, just because I can, I am going to gush over my legs for a moment because they are just TOO smooth. HOT PANTS
from girlsuicide :
i miss you so very much. sometimes it astounds me how i used to depend on speaking to you every day to keep me sane. now weeks, months pass with barely any conversation. you were the person that marked the beginning of my becoming a woman. i will never forget you.
from alonenafraid :
Nope, I don't have a pass. It'd be great if you left me one. I'll catch up on your diary when I get back from California.
from sweetkel :
May I have the key of yours too?
from sweetkel :
Yeah,I would love to know.Please send me a note then!I love you always Chrissy!<3
from jiltedsoul :
Ahem, I am missing a key!
from orgami :
hello Herda how are you I am tired and wore out from looking and dealing with people People are strange and not only in the rain anyway Just thought I would leave you a note saying thanks im at the library today and its pretty busy im still looking at apartments with Lori and we will find one yet the lake is so cool and green and full of waves raining too and I love the rain especially at night so soothing and comforting I hope it keeps raining so I can listen to the rain when I fall asleep well must go now and finish my about town chores Orgami...
from asreviews :
Your review is up. Thank you for requesting!
from lifeineminor :
remember me? Don't know if you're still interested, but thought I'd let you know that I'm done with the New York, New York layout, and the html is now up for grabs.
from orgami :
extremely happy today Lori appreciates me more then ever and I spoil her rub her feet cook her breakfest listen to her life events when she shares them with me in stories and adventures play boggle with her and watch soap operas we come here and write our cyber freinds take in and place out words ideas poems etc Sounds like you are on good ground No one owns anyone I own myself and Lori owns herself and we are a unit together wanting to be there its a two way exchange good trading between us not I rule or SHE rules but We Rule what we want Not to say we are not different we are like oil and water but that is where the interesting side of this comes in keeps it fresh and alert we rent videos from here and watch them together on the couch its a life anyway I am super happy about all of this and glad to hear you are making it well too on your own ..
from fakebob :
I don't even remember where I said that, but you probably deserved it. Everyone needs to hear that they're a whiney bitch at least once in their lives.
from finallywoken :
You brought tears to my eyes with that entry.I am glad you are her friend.Love you sweetness.
from preshusthorn :
sheri gave me the pass, i hope you don't mind. i don't know when you'll get this, but i just finished reading your "vindication" and i've never been so proud of you. i apologize, deeply, for jumping so quick to the conclusion that you don't see yourself as more than property anymore. i'm so proud of you chrissy, you've restored so much of my faith by that entry. but please, i'm begging you don't just say it this time. live it, please. live your life for yourself- with all my love, your best friend
from girlsuicide :
how are you?
from truth-review :
Hiya. If you are ready to start reviewiing now, plase start on Mandy's list with will now be yours. Once you have finished a review please e-mail it to me and I will post it on bebegracie@diaryland.com. What name do you want to go by?
from alonenafraid :
Miss you hon
from cakalaki :
if you're never going to talk to me again, please tell me so I can take you off of everything.
from pulse-tone :
can I have the user/ pass? lbd AT wearerecords DOT com. Thanks!
from cakalaki :
yeah... when you read my diary.. there are two entries or maybe four that you should read... I don't know... I can't remember how many times I've updated that you haven't read. But when you do... I'm sorry I never told you... You'll understand what I mean when you read the second to the last entry. Inside My Head is the name of the entry. I'm so sorry I never told you. Please don't hate me... I need you in my life too much to lose you now...
from blckballlist :
You aren't the only one on the list, there is one other person (site) listed. The lists probably won't get anymore additions because I've lost interest in it. You should get over it.
from dulligirl :
re:Black Rose..I finished it a couple days ago and really liked. I love her trilogys and her hardcover books just not her Harlequin style stories. She always puts a lot of humor in her characters and has interesting settings. I especially am liking the In the Garden trilogy since I lived in Memphis as a kid.
from finallywoken :
Awww sweetness have no worries she does think of you.She still loves you hun.She wants you to be with us when all of this is over,we will be our own little family.Please don't worry she has not forgotten you,I won't let her.We do talk of you when we do get to speak.She would never forget you you are her best friend ya know.You won't be left behind I promise.I love you sweetness.
from cakalaki :
*sigh* Chrissy...
from jiltedsoul :
Get on yahoo.
from lifeintherye :
I think maybe short story, but really any.
from alonenafraid :
Beautiful entry!
from cakalaki :
I need to phone someone. You or Sammi, one of the two. Or just talking on msn would be fine, I just need to talk. I'm having nightmares again about Ty and it's killing me. I almost called him today, because I wanted a real answer from him but once again I chickened out. I can't make myself do it and I know that if I have the answers I desperately search for, then I can finally put him in the past, finally close that door to my past. I need the answers, but I can't make myself get them. I'm so lost right now and alone. With John not being here it's hard. I just need someone to hold me and there's no one there... like always... I'm going to try to go to sleep now. I love you.
from cakalaki :
I'm falling apart... please catch me like you always do..
from finallywoken :
Why do you have me blocked on msn? I have been waiting for you to call so I can tell you what Letti has said.I have talked with her several times now over the weekend,on the phone.Why won't you talk to me?
from preshusthorn :
i love you, please don't be so sad. you aren't a terrible person...you're my best friend. i love you, baby
from cactustree :
if you want the password to the new diary, email me at cactustree@diaryland.com and tell me why you think i'm fabulous.
from watdfuck :
hello. that's one nice entry. it makes a lot of sense and i really enjoyed reading it. it speaks for a lot of people down here who get criticised when others can't accept their point of views. why can't they accept that different people have different point of views? i wonder why some are paranoid? anyways, hope you're fine and take care.
from moonsphinx :
I'm fine, thanks. =)
from nicim :
ok - i'm confooosed you wrote"If the jumptstrtmyheart LJ was yours, I am sorry I added it to my LJ. Im sorry and I deleted it as requested." not me????
from lifeintherye :
I know this is a long shot but a long time ago I gave you the password to my diary Kennethcole. so you could change the template for me. Now I cant remember it, and the email address that diaryland sends it to when i forget my password no longer exist. SO any way do you still have it?
from nicim :
i like the new entry - a struggle i've been having. writing for the masses, writing for me, where is that fine line. you go girl!
from jiltedsoul :
Ha, did I not write the same exact entry not so long ago? I think it's difficult for certain people to get it through their head that the world doesn't revolve around them. Besides, I know you were talking about me ;-)~
from jiltedsoul :
It's all about self-discovery. Finding yourself, and embracing that with no irrational expectations. It's a journey only you can take..see you at the finish line.
from nicim :
Hi hon. I think the blockquote thing is because when the young lady who did my template set it - the "background" color is set as the "blockquote" color. i.e. when I use /blockquote in the message, it turns the background color. If you look in the template using the View Source, I think there is a line in the top part. I kind of found it by accident, but I really like it.
from sweetkel :
I love to read it,send the key here, a_place_of_hiding_k@hotmail.com
from girlsuicide :
you're a beautiful woman & thankyou so much. ♥
from nicim :
duh - Oops. I read the sentence wrong...a space in an odd place changed the meaning. rereading it - i figerred it out. silly me. (ps - part 4 is up!) *kiss*
from nicim :
thanks for reading Ben and Anna's story. But what makes you think she's a lesbian? She's experimented for fun, and occasional casual sex, but definitely loves the guys! Hope you enjoy part 4 coming soon.
from bebegracie :
Basically yes. She has closed her personla diary, and hasn't reviewed in ages. And I have emailed her with no reply. God knows what is going on with her.
from ktdream :
I don't recognize your username, but looking at your diary, it reminds me of Chrissi. And you are aren't you? (Saw your AIM sn)Well, how are you? It's been awhile, hasn't it. I do miss you...
from jiltedsoul :
Surviving, as always, as you are as well.
from bebegracie :
Hey, Im kinda looking after truth-review so to speak at the moment. I'd love for you to do maybe 3 reviews with a credit link of course. I can't really put you up permenantly because I am not the owner, although she seems to have deserted truth-review. but i'm sure if things work out I can make it a permenant thing. Give me a not back and ill give you a name to review. The scoring is up on the site too. Thanks x
from sweetkel :
I miss you so much Chrissy.I wish we can talk soon! Always love, Karen
from kaybiff :
My darling Ploppy has over five days of music on it now. And I'm all like, hey, yeah, that rocks. And then I am reminded that I need to put the song Hey Yeah on Ploppy because I need to shake it. But now I must to be going to the place that isn't the post office. Good day, deary!
from kaybiff :
PA is crazy, and I'm going, like, right dab in the middle. Middle like whoa. BAM. But I have never encounted a lesbian during all of my visits to the state. Sure, I have met a lot of psycho bitches, but they were all my father's friends, which funnily enough would be reason to go gay. BUT I DISGRESS. Did I ever mention to you that I am a lazy bastard? I have lazy coming out of my ears. I'm too lazy to make sense. HOW GOES THINGS?
from lifeineminor :
thankyou very much! When I'm done with it I'm going to put the html up for grabs, so keep checking, and you're quite welcome to use it! Must go check out your diary now. ^^
from lifeintherye :
Why are things always so bad for you? What is at the bottom of all this. Whats the answer. I want to fix this for you. You break my heart.
from lifeintherye :
Yeah it was short but sweet, so whats here diary name its been so long I've forgotten it.
from lifeintherye :
Chrissi you are a godess! Thanks for the welcome home notes, and thanks for being so great.
from jiltedsoul :
I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about.
from fuckin-whore :
Chrissi?
from orgami :
flux some sort of magic word that accompanies when shit happens ibrary is open again Oh Oh I saw my fourteen year old my ex and I sat and had a wonderful talk together at my freinds out on the patio and then she left and Chloe and I had a fire and a good talk I looked at her drawings and listened to her play her guitar it was awesome wonderful wonderful wonderful suprised to find that we all changed and are at least communicating again I am going to my daughters grad and any time I am down at my freinds again Chloe can get a ride up to visit with me It is sooooo cool
from girlsuicide :
dude ive read that book. hahaha.
from goldieknox03 :
happy mommys day!
from watdfuck :
heelo. wish you luck in securing a job. i hope you'll make it =) i bet you will.
from imagine-if :
Youre right, but it's so fun to string some1 along. Still, I'll cut it off with him. But really he's the one that keeps coming back. Not me. I just leave the door open. LOL
from oceans-depth :
Happy Mothers Day ~♥~ Deja
from orgami :
not raining here where is the rain that wind that accompanys it the tin roof patter the hiss of it all on the pavement below the second floor window the street light sodium lamp i need rain to cry to release this flood of heaviness in my chest i am alone sitting here Lori a many mile away my freind and wife asleep and i awake search tender memories and want to cry to rock in the rocking chair up there and just let this all go But i hold it in Mans not supposed to cry to love flowers at the waterfront walk to hold his daughter when she was a baby and love her dearly spiritually recharged in the rain i love water the lake the river the creek that runs through the city amber depths hip deep so swift in places the arched little footbridges safe haven for the drunks and missplaced the lost and hurting Big sigh im okay i just feel blue so much ive been through in the last year Lori especially watching her knowing that it is also me with the same struggle sometimes i wake up and i am unsure if this is all a dream or is my dream a reality fading in and out like a favourite radio show at night there now Ive talked too much
from bamstroker :
your post about accepting your son's sexuality was so touching. there are many, many close minded people in this world and i hear about parents all the time who shun their children for being gay or who are in denial of it altogether. and now we have politicians and lawmakers out there trying to prevent gay people from marrying or from even adopting (which was just passed in texas, gays can't adopt there) and it's all so very hurtful and wrong. you are a deeply loving and understanding human being and i hope you are proud of that. :)
from fish-reviews :
thank you for the help! i am just going toleave the layout as-is though, it works well enough. however, thanks for trying to fix it!
from allicanbe :
Hey. I had just stumbled upon you're diary and I'm really glad I did. Reading your more recent post, honestly brought tears to my eyes. It made me wish that my parents had been that way with me so that I could be open with them. I am 17 and I'm gay and my parents don't know. I'm sure they have an idea but I havnt told them. We dont share any bonds like I'm sure you and your children do. You really are doing an awsome job at raising your kids with the right morals. So I just wanted to thank you for that. ttyl - brad -
from some-voices :
Thank you for the comment.
from kaybiff :
Needing clean underwear can be a powerful thing. It can overcome even the most lazy desire. It's a force to be reckoned with, boy howdy. But you raise a good point: I should be doing my homework. So I shall. And when I pass, I can thank YOU for my not failing. Haha. Good day!
from kaybiff :
Dude, I can answer that question just by writing this note. Haha. Notes are the study of people! ...Yeah, I am a bum all right.
from kaybiff :
But I can't stop because I know what you want! All the time! EVER! (I suppose if wetting the pants wasn't a euphemism, then I shouldn't offer you some tea?)
from kaybiff :
HAHA! The is the most awesome title EVER! HAHA! And I used to go around saying to people (you know, when I used to be around them), "I know what you want. ALL THE TIME. EVER." It would creep them out giving me that certain feeling of accomplishment. Now it's more like, "Stand still so I can pick you up!" The worse the line, the better the giggles.
from kaybiff :
Oh! If you ever want to laugh at pick-up lines, go here: http://linesthataregood.com/ -- The site has, like, every pick-up line imaginable. I even used it in reference for a philosophy project I had to do (I made Confucius a pimp. Yes, it was awesome.)
from kaybiff :
Anytime that I say something preverted it's either painfully planned or awkwardly mumbled. An example of this would be when I said that "I like it when a person is forth coming." Talk about the double-entendre.
from kaybiff :
Haha. Touché. You indeed make a good point. Let the secret affair begin!
from kaybiff :
Before it seems like I am a total ingrate, I would like to thank you for all of your commenting. However, seeing as I am to review you I feel as though I shouldn't reply exactly. You know, something about review-conspiracy. Or something. So know that I appreciate each one very much and thank you. (And by the way, your title is misleading because you aren't boring.)
from suta :
Great, I like selfmade layouts, although I am pretty bad with html I've a selfmade too. I really liked your entry. It's true. Most of the people act like someone else in the net. Me not either. I just write down my (mostly negative) emotions anyway, so there isn't much to discover about my daily life ^_^ I hope you are doing well. Love, Luc.
from finallywoken :
No I don't have you blocked,I have just been busy all day packing and haven't been online long enough to talk.I am not angry with you if that is what you are thinking.
from asrael :
thank you :)
from i-h8-boys :
The email you left for me forever and a half ago doesn't work, and I'm not sure if the other co-owner contacted you. You're more than welcome to keep writing. Do you still have the password?
from finallywoken :
I spoke to her this morning.Thought I would let you know.Maybe in some aspects you are right about some of the things you wrote,but not everything.
from finallywoken :
I wrote what I wrote because I really don't trust her mom,do you? It's not like I think those thoughts all the time.I don't mean to make it sound like she is an obsession.I do think about other things,she is not always in the forefront of my mind.I really do love her,no matter what you think.What you wrote really hurt me,but I will get over it.
from suta :
Yaaay! I like the new layout. It's nifty. *fan of dark layouts* Selfmade? How are you doing?
from cyanideeyes :
My template changed? I'm confused!!! LOL - do you speak of the tunes?
from airheadviews :
Hey, thanks for the button. It looks great. :)
from airheadviews :
Hey, thanks for the button. It looks great. :)
from elasticskies :
damn, that means there is no possible way to make that whole thing centered. thank you so much for trying though!
from elasticskies :
thank you!
from elasticskies :
(this is fish reviews) thank you so much for all your help, i really appreciate it. but see, what i want, is the picture centered over both the entry box and the links box. so that the entry and links are a sort of unit, insteasd of the fish being over the entry with the links to the side. i dont know if thats even possible, but im trying. thank you for being such a help though, its really nice of you!
from asrael :
♥ How are ya Pimpin Fresh?
from fish-reviews :
yes yes, but, how do i make it so that the entry and links are centered? i want them centered as one unit, not a centered entry and links to the side, and i cannot figure it out!
from mslioness819 :
Thank you for the note. I really appreciate it. I haven't written in awhile. My mind and soul, as well as spirit, has been in a lot of pain.
from kind-reviews :
I just wanted to let you know that I have gotten your request and try as I may, my pending page doesn't want to update. I had re-posted it a week or so ago since the whole server problem here on dland, but it doesn't want to add you for some reason. In the meantime, I'll keep trying, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm not ignoring you.
from samgrey :
I have been..missing in action? I'll survive.
from mslioness819 :
Oh no! I don't mind at all. I hope you enjoy them all.
from fish-reviews :
im really sorry to have to do this, but i can't review you unless you change your layout. i have safari and a really crappy version of IE, and on both of them your entries are impossible to read, and if i cannot read your diary, i cannot review it. if you change the template, let me know, and if not, im really sorry!
from goldieknox03 :
hey thanks. I have a private blog too. Can i read yours?
from elasticskies :
yes, i do have a review site. fish-reviews.dland.com.
from finallywoken :
I just read your entry.I will leave her alone.I knew you were in love with her.
from girlsuicide :
thanks sweet <3
from xinpheldspbx :
I occasionally feign awareness of my surroundings (virtual or otherwise), yes. Not to mention, I gots the mad beats, yo. What more could one ask for?
from weeviews :
sorry about that. right after i set this up, family problems came up. can't put the time into it that i thought i could. sorry again!
from xinpheldspbx :
Thank you very much. Stop by as often as you like-- maybe I'll have even posted something. And don't worry, I won't delete your comment. Promise.
from silentpoetry :
hey, just wanted to say, don't write to impress other people...don't try to make it interesting for them to keep reading. I like you the way you are...and this is your diary, not theirs, so write what you want, it's your venting place, your life, and your feelings. Don't hide them for nobody!
from grrl-blog :
no, don't change it to a boring diaryland one. i just mean there are parts where the diary entry overlaps with the background in a way that makes it hard to read some of the words. and, like i said it's *your* diary, if you like it how it is then definitly keep it that way! who gives a shit what i think, i probably shouldn't have said anything anyway. apologies... :)
from girlsuicide :
i love you babe. <3 my birthday tomorrow! ♥ ♥ ♥
from grrl-blog :
thanks for stopping by...you seem interesting but i have to be honest and say that your diary format makes some parts hard to read! that's a shame, but if that's the way you like it then feel free to ignore my commentary :)
from smashley719 :
Lol. Go to my poetry gbook http://smashley7192.signmyguestbook.com. :) called me such a sad little name. :(
from reviewu :
Mission complete, enjoy!
from less-than3 :
ugh. i'm sorry you're going through this. :(
from suta :
Wish you and your daughter all the best.
from reviewu :
You've officially been added, prepare for thy doom!
from hissandtell :
Thanks so much for your note, darling. I'm reading a few of your entries now - your site is divine and your writing is achingly beautiful. I do hope your move isn't too stressful, and that you find wonderful things wherever you go. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
No. Your punishment is: "No cookie". So there.
from smashley719 :
OMG! I can't believe you called me that, chrissy bear!
from jenne1017 :
Peachy huh? Interesting choice of words as I read your comment and put a spponful of PEACH ygurt in my mouth!
from jenne1017 :
Why, thank you darlin!
from redsirenbody :
Hugs darling. Yes I remember. Things have been so hectic in my life lately. School and work and life and life and life...i don't have aol anymore...yahoo. can i have your email? i will send you the screen name. Hugs.L
from hate-me- :
*hugs* it'll be ok. am hoping to be online tonight so we can talk then. <3yourocksocks.
from soulstyce :
Oh honey, I'm here if you ever need to talk. I know I don't really know you that well, so if you don't feel comfortable I totally understand, but it sounds like maybe you really could use a shoulder to lean on? Write me anytime: SoulstyceStrfyre@aol.com I don't check it as often as I should, but I promise I'll be on the lookout for you :)
from suta :
Oh and I see you know samgrey... I think I am gonna add you, kay? You seem cool. (not cause you know her, but cos I like your di and your writing) Have some fun. Love, Luc. (prenounce it as Luke)
from purpleworm :
"Designs of Lust" very nicely written
from suta :
Oi oi ^_^ I wasn't thinking you were trying to put a label on me, dearest. I was just explaining my fucked up mind. *grin* Most people otherwise find it very hard to read my entries...so that's why I most of the time I explain them. I feel flattered you like it. Heh, and I also like getting notes like that. Ack, well I have to go... (drama) Have some fun, Suta Mutou
from suta :
By the way, I took a look at your diary. I really liked it. You are boring? I don't think so. Apologies for the long note ^_^V Life is life. Like I said...the louder we scream the more invisible we seem.
from suta :
You are a 35 year old mum and you like Manson? I wish my mother would like Manson, but my relationship isn't that good with my family. I am happy you like my writing. I am dutch, so it is hard sometimes to write down my emotions. I don't know. Am I selfish? I can't share my feelings. It's not that I don't want to, but my friends, family, everyone...seems so happy. I want them to be happy...I don't want to destroy their smiles, cause of my problems. And they wouldn't understand and they don't know what happened in the past. I share them on an other way... in my entries, drawings and my music. (you can see my drawings at my site) Life? I am more dead than alive lately and I think everyone wants more than he has or wishes that he wouldn't have certain things. Lovely writer? Many people read my entries and said it made them thinking or made them sad. Diary --> is to write your feelings, thoughts, emotions --> and that's what I do. That's all. I just can't tell what exactly happened. Thank you for your note. Love, Luc.
from augustdreams :
I'm right here in the USA, babe. Florida. :) And bisexual gal that I am, I share your praise for all womankind! There's just something about us - all those lovely soft curves and wonderful responses. Multiple orgasms *almost* makes up for having to deal with stuff like Endometriosis. Hope you don't mind me getting all graphic in your notes! (eek!) *hugs*
from augustdreams :
Ahh-hahaha! The difference between male and female orgasms was PERFECT. *snerk* Ahh, many thanks be to the universe for making me a woman. ;)
from purpleworm :
hmm bribing with cookies for extra smooches, heck ya hell of a deal if you ask me ;) heck you don't even need to bribe me with the cookies.
from watdfuck :
hahaha...goodness...u gave me a shock. hahaha...see? me a blurqueen.
from soulstyce :
<3
from watdfuck :
haha...i'm so sorry if i made u angry with that comment. i was being too harsh right? hahaha... it's just that, i had a lot of anger in me when i typed that out because i'd read some stuff of people criticising my religion and those criticisms r untrue. and i'd also done some research on net that really made me pissed even more. so, i typed that out to release my anger. that's all. nothing to do with anybody here. once again, i apologise.
from watdfuck :
hello. haha..sorry for not lingering around for a long time. wow, i'm surprised i'm actually being missed. hahaha....yea, independence is a powerful song. when i sing it, i can actually feel this emotion...like 'don't give a damn about the rest of the world' kinda emotion. haha so you really spoke to a ghost when you were little? how did that happen? it's good to hear you're feeling good. finally, after all the pain. hope you secured the job. hope you'll do well in your future ♥
from hate-me- :
to keep someone who shouldn't be reading out.
from sassoet :
Tee hee...actually, I often leave myself notes...I'm the forgetful type so i've got to. I'm sad that you're sad it was a toaster....I rather like my toaster. I've got enough sex toys anyway....
from hate-me- :
I don't know if I'm going to be on anymore. Doubt I can really face anyone right now, but it doesn't really matter. Sometime this week it'll all be over. I hope you're ok. You will be, it'll just take time. Yeah I've said it before and all, but it's true. You'll get through all this shit, even if it takes years. You'll come out stronger for all of it and it'll be ok. Somewhere, someday you'll find your happiness and peace and everything in your life (at the moment, and in the past) will just be a forgotten nightmare that'll fade with time. Just don't you give up on everything, one day all the shit you've gone through will be worth it and you'll see the reason in it all. You'll come out even more beautiful than you already are. I know it doesn't seem like it at all, and you probably don't believe me, but you are beautiful. And you will be ok, and maybe even that weird thing called "happy", someday. You'll live, you'll survive, just soldier through it. Like you always have.
from hate-me- :
Ok. I just hope you haven't deleted your msn/aim/yahoo.. It's been like a week since I've been on/talked to you, I miss you. <3
from hate-me- :
aww, where'd Chrissi's diary go? *cries*
from orionreviews :
Your review has been posted
from bamstroker :
i don't remember when i added you, to be honest lmao. do you have the passwords?
from orgami :
icons banners pop up it reminds me of salesmen on the plains selling elixiers to the pioneers heading west the soldiers shooting the medicine men and women and scalping them the horses fresh and frothing as they thunder across the plain the hot winds scorching their exited countenances the running and the chased the waiting and the wind spring is in fashion today here dogshit and puddles and forgotten things all landwaste site trash in colours and pulpy mess people out walking dust from the cars and exhaust the lake dark coloured from the sky for once that is the line from spring to now when the lake becomes darker then the sky when the ice starts to hold the light and gets thick with sunlit energy where the islands are floating where the sparkling water awaits its moment to emerge from the skin of another year slipping into something more comfortable more supple O.
from finallywoken :
Morning bleh.It's 7:15 and I feel like I was run over by a mack truck.Anyway I was awake at 2am I just wasn't online,thought I better be ready for the surgeon (hah! yeah right).I didn't sleep until about 3:30 or 4.I knew you would be here,I should have gotten back up,but I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,don't know why though.I promise I will put a curse on Ben so he gets some kind of disease,hmmm maybe I'll give him herpes lol.That would suck for him lmao.Something so he couldn't have sex anymore lmfao.Thanks hun for having me in your thoughts,makes me feel loved.Oh I promise I will not punch the doc today too lol.See ya later,I hope.Love ya bunches S.
from justmouse :
no, sweety, it wasn't you. i'm just going thru some 'issues' right now. there are things i don't wish to be reminded of, and i don't know how to go about it. it's nothing you've done. *hugs* take care.
from finallywoken :
I am scared to death.Thank you for having me in you're thoughts.I will definitely make sure you are the first to know what is going on.I love you sweetness.
from samgrey :
I feel like death.
from finallywoken :
I am sorry if what I said upset or hurt you in any way,but if we can't be open and honest with each other how can we be each others pilar though these rough times we are facing?What I said was not meant to hurt you,I truely am sorry,please forgive me.I love you sweetness.
from justmouse :
oh sweety. i know he hurt you, and continues to hurt you...but don't waste your time and energy on hating him! hate takes up so much of you! don't waste it on him. be disappointed, be disgusted...but don't bother hating him. he's not worth it. take that emotional energy, and turn it to love for you and your child. you're in my thoughts. life can be really hard sometimes, i know. but i really and truly believe that in the end we all get what we deserve. you ex is in for a world of hurt! ~love~
from fameless :
JASON! is that who's back?
from justmouse :
it's wonderful to have someone nibble on your lower lip. makes me weak. i imagine your reaction would be similar. as for the rest...*HUGS*
from orgami :
sunshine slivers in the shivers valley of deep darkness yea that I go into the trail for the tiger on my tail unempty unwanted unwashed and restless furnace stirs to life and after awhile the house expands and creaks like old bones in my dreams I can fly swoop under hydro wires and look down chimneys and through garden trellis arbours the stars above glitter for me and my hair is streaking out behind me as I race an airliner towards dawn and I awake to reality and what I have of it today I am going to counselling for my behavioural problems I nip and scratch and sometimes bite (metaphor to the junkyard dog I think I am) my child hasnt written me in awhile and my phone card ran out but we left on good terms with one another and I cannot write an entry today so I sit and ponder on this new development and wish my ribbon was not completed and full of empty space where script pressed letter to paper even upside down and rewound it does not work hardly I should have stayed with the old manual typewriter should have could have would have hah the day is warm spring is here I am enjoying my day so far my Lori over there at another station pale as pale can be The irish or german I guess listened to some music on here for the part of time now its time to part away from thee and write more before the sand in the hourglass is up S..........
from orgami :
3/23/00 3:00p.m. diaryland is having diffictulties but I can get on to this note thing How have you been keeping? Its been all around here and there for me Lori and I are at junctions namely I go get help for some problems I have which I am doing see what happens but at least I have people to write too and so does she its just the small things that get us as usual the burned out bulb in the cockpit the loose wheels the braking device that does not function etc etc anyway gotta go home and make a coffe and watch the boob tube listening to Stings song its been years see yah later
from asrael :
I miss you too babe. Been busy as fuck lately though, you know how it is.
from asrael :
Song: Motley Crue - If I Die Tomorrow.
from finallywoken :
I read your entry hun and I did as I promised and didn't cry.It was hard though not to let them come.We are both under alot of stress right now,with the problems you have the problems I have,not to mention the added stress of not having any contact with our gorgeous girl,but I honestly believe that as long as we have each other to lean on we will make it through the tough times we are now facing.We make it through this we can make it though whatever else life throws our way.Yes we will have our moments(like now)when we will both be thinking that we will not make it through,but we will because we are survivors and survivors never quit and give up.Sometimes we just have to take a moment and sit back and laugh at all the insanity that is going on around us.Lika making fun of my lump and naming it lol(freaking funny shit that was)and yes sometimes we have to give ourselves release and just shed tears until we can't anymore.The important thing is to remember that no matter how hard things are sometimes we have each other for support and I wish you open up to me more,even just to vent and get it out.Love you sweetness.I will always be here for you.
from samgrey :
Nothing wrong with being bipolar =) I'm glad we had that talk to, I learned a lot! Of course I'm awake way too early so I will force myself to go back to bed now.
from snowpea54 :
Hey mom its me I love you
from girlsuicide :
i love you too girlface.
from finallywoken :
Dammit! I can't leave an entry telling my girl goodnight.Well you are going to kill me cause I still can't sleep bleh.Anyway thanks hun for being here.I better be able to leave something for her in the morning grrrr.Well i hope you are well and we will talk soon.Love you sweetness.
from cause-i-can :
Okay, I've changed the link. Thanks for letting me know.
from finallywoken :
I know it has been a bit since I last left you a note,but i usually tell you what my thoughts are either through e-mail or being online with you,but I thought tonight I would leave you a note to tell you that you are a wonderful,loving person and if people don't see that in you then they are blind.You know you really are my pillar of strength and without you I would fall apart.The note you left for our girl is absolutely beautiful.I love you sweetness and no matter what happens in our lives you will always be my friend.
from orgami :
arm out in sleep but what is it she is seeking not me and what is it i am seeking or do i even reach for anything anymore drifting to long perhaps lazed into submission for this time raging heart inside passion comtemplation action Some of the want to abuse you some of them want to be abused everybodies looking for something Marylin Manson watch him and used to listen to his video before they blocked launch all jittery because of the slow speed and even then these computers are fast spring is here and it looks like i may be alone again yet i have to find her that woman with the minds eye intellect who speaks my language and to blind myself to the outer appearances that vanity that only takes me to a small room i read down your notes and cannot believe i write strangers what I do but then what is there to know about a person by merely walking past them casting an eye and making judgements contact to say hello introductions exchange of voices tired of all the conflict at home confusion and I have to go back there all my stuff is packed and we are not talking so stupid to waste this time this moment on such trivial hurts and ego dance eventually i will find my own place i see let her be who she is with all those male freinds she says she can control already i feel bad for writing and including someone elses crap i used to say i was not in the shit business long ago when i was hanging out on the wrong side of the tracks and only wanted to hear plans of what empowerement could be acheieved now i myself should echo to that long ago voice buried somewhere inside me three minutes left I must go all i want to do is sleep for awhile take my medication and sleep go into the dream realms maybe there find and answer I dont know I just dont know
from purpleworm :
psst not boring, not dull fun & entertaining, well except for the entries where I go all protective on people that hurt people I like grrr *gets all fierce looking* growl
from malibureview :
Your review is finished and posted! Have a lovely day.
from justmouse :
oh sweety! i just read your entry, and it made me so angry! i just want to scoop you and and protect you from everyone who would hurt you, and from your own memories, too! people who prey on innocents fill me with rage and disgust. i will start reading back your older entries. i hope you life isn't all pain and hurt. take care! *hug*
from to-my-heart :
lol why thank you. I'm still waiting for their hateful reply. lol
from to-my-heart :
hehe i just looked at the note they left u and the person left it is called blondie... hmmmm *ponders this*
from to-my-heart :
lol I left them a little note care to know what I said? hehe "Personally I find your review site a disgrace to the reviewing world. herdarlinsin's diary is a great diary. Her content has never bored me at all. I read over her notes and they were well said and not rude at all until you took them wrongly. I do however think AirHead is the perfect name for your site. I am appalled that you would discourage your client’s opinions. How can you tell people how to make their sites better and critique them if you can't take it yourself? You are a complete disgrace to the reviewing community and if you wish to award me your little "Dumbass" reward then by all means do so frankly I would be proud of it. A good reviewer needs to have an open mind and needs to be able to take it as well as dish it out. " haha now they shall probably put me on their little list too... lmao btw good impression of them. Thats probably how they actually talk hehe. Like I said AirHead is the perfect name for them lol
from to-my-heart :
Well here is my review of your diary. On a scale from 1-10 the layout is a 10 the writing is a 10 the whole diary is a 10+ ... I hate reviewers like that. Its why I stoped getting my site reviewed. When I ran my review site I never got a bad comment not even when I gave a bad review lol. I was picky about who I let review for me too. Oh well don't let em get to you. They are stupid small minded little people. Besides kinda cool they made a list just for you. hehe
from to-my-heart :
why would they put you on a black ball list?
from purpleworm :
LOL I had followed the link & been reading your entries but didn't click that was you doing the writing. Very observent of me wasn't it. hehe I had to add that diary to my favorites list too. thanks for the heads up
from purpleworm :
hehe Look at it this way there are real people that like you and are willing to accept what you choose to share without judging you.
from finallywoken :
Well hun i had to stop here before I went to bed.I want to thank you for tonight.You took my mind off of things for awhile,which i definitely needed.Now I onlt have one thought in my head(lol),thanks alot lol.No seriously,I love you sweetness and thanks for taking care of me.Nite
from cakalaki :
yes I love you being a slut. you're my slut. and I'm the whore. yes yes yes. hehe.
from airheadviews :
Respond to that if you wish, but we will no longer respond to you. We believe it is very childish on your part and as far as we are concerned, the case is closed. --Blondie
from airheadviews :
First of all, Airhead Reviews is my review site. So if I want to say something to you about the way you're conducting yourself in regards to your review, I will. Second of all, a review is a review whether you like it or not. It didn't turn out like you wanted it to, someone wasn't singing your praises and telling you how great you are? Get over it. If you can't stand the heat, don't request any reviews. As a reviewer, you should know that. It isn't up to us to stroke your ego. You asked for a review and you got one. Further more, if her opinion means nothing to you, why did you even request a review from us? Why are you even bitching about it after the fact? Move on with your life. -- Blondie
from airheadviews :
You asked to be reviewed. You left yourself open to what someone had to say about you. If you didn't like it, that's your own fault. In the future, let's not be childish and leave nasty notes on your reviewers diary. Grow up before you request your next review from another site. -- Blondie
from raziela :
I'm sorry for not answering your notes earlier. I just read your newest entry and... well, I don't exactly know what to say in English (since it's not my first-spoken language). I know what you're going through because I'm going through that myself (yes, right at this moment). I just wish that you would feel better soon - I know how painful it is not knowing what the person in question thinks and feels, if he or she is alright. Although I don't know you that well and you don't know me that well, I'll always be there for you and listen, because I care. And as I stated earlier, I know exactly what it's like missing someone you haven't met face to face like crazy. I do that every night. Lots of comforting hugs to you. Take care, darlin'. You know where I am. //Raz
from purpleworm :
*hugs* I hope by sharing your pain with us we can help make it lighter for you *hugs*
from purpleworm :
I like you :) I realize that's not likely a life altering event for you but still. hehe So I added you to my buddy list. I'm enjoying catching up through your past entries.
from hate-me- :
Chrissikins... Why does that always remind me of a gianatic teddybear that I have? I don't know. And YES I want some more dirty talking from my mistress, so i can get myself all hot and bothered and then go get fucked. But meh, you're not talking much right now and all this vodka is getting me sleepy. *drools* if you've never wanted to fuck a romulan, you are missing out on some very wild fantasies. Or even a cardassian, they're very dominate as well. Or a klingon, wild and passionate. Did you know that when klingons are getting ready to mate, the male reads poetry and ducks at the flying objects his mate is throwing at him. Mmmmm... or sex with a betazoid, they can read your mind and can do exactly what you want since they know it. wild alien sex, at it's best. http://sexytrek.com lol
from finallywoken :
Well wtf?!? What the hell happened? Why can't you get back in?Your pc is as fucked up as mine lol.Hope to see you soon.
from finallywoken :
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.God woman go masterbate already lol.You know you really shouldn't torture yourself like that.I will understand if you need to go and take care of *ahem..things.God,don't want you to end up with blue balls or whatever they call it for women.Hahahahaha,what a fucking riot you are.
from girlsuicide :
im so sorry you're not on my list, i just never find myself editing my profile but obviously it does mean something to you so i will add you right away. because you do mean something to me, and if that is what it takes for you to know that then i'll do it. thankyou for always being so kind to me. ♥
from girlsuicide :
from fan4 :
Is there supposed to be an image on your most recent diary entry? I'm not seeing anything.
from samgrey :
I will reply to your email when I get a few moments peace to myself, which may not be until monday from the way things are going. I promise to answer all of your questions.
from to-my-heart :
the video didn't show up for me.
from silentpoetry :
Don't worry about that review. She was probably on her period or something. She said she was frustrated, and it probably had nothing to do with you. If you were boring, then I wouldn't read your diary. And I like your layout, it's pretty. I like playing with the scrolls! hehe. Who cares about what other people think? As long as your diary serves a purpose for you then it's all good.
from finallywoken :
The only thing I have to say is you are a fucking riot and I wish you were here with me,so we can laugh and cry together and support each other.Also to be strong for her together.I love you sweetness.
from samgrey :
I don't find you annoying at all, but we both know you're heart is elsewhere.
from fan4 :
Are you angry with me?
from fan4 :
I don't curse. I don't like cursing. I attend Church and bible studies so I can hang around fellow Christians. I'm hoping I'll gain a stronger faith as a result of all that. Do you really think I'm cool?
from cakalaki :
you're such a slut. lmao. but I still love you. :)
from to-my-heart :
lol what funny away messages. I only have on kinda funny one.
from airheadviews :
Thanks for requesting a review with us. Your review is now up and can be viewed at: http://airheadviews.diaryland.com/herdarlinsi.html
from finallywoken :
All I can say is I love you sweetness and thank you.
from raziela :
Oh.My.God. That was the most hilarious thing I've read in a long time! I would never dare to go and say something like that. Me thinks that I need to work on it, though. It would be fun to just walk into a place and say something such as that. And hey, I do agree, that name _does_ indicate a sexual theme. Really, I couldn't have said it better than you! By the way, I have now added you to my favourites list because, to be honest, I enjoyed reading some of your entries (and I bet that I'll enjoy reading more of them). I like the way you decorate your words with your thoughts and emotions.
from finallywoken :
What would I do with out you?I would sink into a world full of misery and pain that I would never be free of,but because of you being here for me that won't happen.I know you would not allow it.You are my friend,my family and my favorite perv(lol),sorry had to put that in.See you are a stronger person than you realize,you are being strong for me when i need it and I am supposed to be the strong one of our little family(lol).I love you hun.*Hugs and kisses* on the cheek though lol.
from orgami :
thanks for the note I used to think I was too far out to understand because i was looking for the wrong kind of feedback from people who were too busy or isolating to take me seriously i thought i was a joke a clown of sorts and then i went to therapy because i fought against things in a passive aggressive way I read lots poems lots peoples other voices who lull intigued me and it was like magic like a drug to hear them so I wanted to emulate that and am just in the last four years crafting this way of speaking not in this note though I will make it its good to get feedback though the more i hear that i am allright and can be a soothing influence instead of the fightin influence then i am winning the battle inside with more self esteem and self worth Plus I am sober almost a month or two now that is a plus hanging out with my freinds help the Diaryland Chat room is cool I am learning how to write to other people faster etc today was not too bad at all but thank you for your note there are so few bold and brave enough to write a response I think I am a strong person sometimes in overpowering people but I dont know i dont want to be i just want to relate i think i am making more sense then even two years ago Lori has been a great help and my best freinds new wife and other best freinds with thereapists nurses doctors psychiatrist AA, NA help all I am no longer alone and that takes a big load off my shoulders nad heart anyway I am blabbing thank You again Herdarlinsin Orgami....
from hate-me- :
If there was a hot romulan between my legs, do you think I'd still be on the computer?!? And eww. I hated Ezri. But if it was Bashir and Jadzia.. oh my god, it would be so hot. And hot wax cools rather fast, it wouldn't even make it down my tits (stupid D cups) And you'll just have to find out what I get from it. :3
from fan4 :
I'm attempting to load Yahoo! messenger now.
from hate-me- :
Nope, all she's doing is rubbing her thighs together. Saving the best for later.
from hate-me- :
lol. This is too mcuh fun. I can't even think straight right now, I just want to run upstairs and go and fuck the hsit out of myself in some public place.
from hate-me- :
lol. There's also that furnature store called Badcock...
from raziela :
*Lol!* Hello, and thanks for the note! Yeah, that's German, it's a song lyric. ^_^
from fan4 :
Thanks for wishing me a happy b-day Chrissy.
from fan4 :
Thanks for adding my diary to your favorites list. :)
from finallywoken :
Hey I just read the entry you put in her diary,it was wonderful.Hopefully everyone will support her.I know I am not giving up.Once again thank you hun for being here for me and her.
from fan4 :
You're welcome. :)
from pretty-pussy :
im glad my entry could be of service to you. ;) i really am flattered.
from to-my-heart :
aww sweety I got behind on my diary reading and didn't know your daughter is missing. *hugs* I'll pray you find her.
from to-my-heart :
I believe they are.
from to-my-heart :
http://www.geocities.com/lolitas_heart/cookie.jpg You get THREE!!
from to-my-heart :
I don't know...I've never been spanked. And I don't think I'm stupid lol I was kidding. ;) But thats sweet of you to care and to threaten me with a "smack on the ass". hehe.
from to-my-heart :
no its not stupid. You have a good point. I forgot to mention that and it was stupidity on my part. I did put it up and if you still want I'll post your comment and make a note that you read it without knowing that tid bit about the mother because I was the stupid one who forgot to mention it. :)
from to-my-heart :
I forgot to mention the mother was dead and the grandparents are the fathers parents. The mothers parents are dead too I think. I couldn't find anything on them. Thanks for your comment. :)
from the-regret :
<3savage garden
from finallywoken :
I absolutely love the poem.I thank you my friend for being here for me,you are my strength right now and I couldn't ask for someone better to be my friend.I love you hun and will always be here for you too.
from to-my-heart :
lol I have a thing about touching feet lol *hands you socks and electric foot massager* :p
from to-my-heart :
Hi thanks for the note. I hope you have a good day. lol I just updated again and saw your note took me a minute to figure out u meant the last entry lol. I didn't link the video but she did when she did the layout for it. lol funny stuff always makes the diary better.
from finallywoken :
All i have to say is what a bad,bad girl you are.I am soooo proud of you.Love you hun and thanks for being here for me,I am gonna need you alot in the coming months.
from to-my-heart :
I guess I should of put a warning huh? sorry I'll do better next time. :p but hey at least it made an impression hehe
from less-than3 :
i love swings. i need to find a park and go.
from sashasecrets :
Sorry I haven't been around, darlin!*hugs* XX
from cakalaki :
no thanks needed darling. :)
from to-my-heart :
Aww thank you for that note. Made my day :) I'll give your diary a read too when I have more time. I'm a bit rushed at the moment lol.
from drmz-of-him :
I haven't given up...don't you dare even think about it! Just remember...je t'aime, luv!
from silentpoetry :
Thank you! :)
from sashasecrets :
I sure am ;)
from sashasecrets :
I would hold you if you needed it. Please hang in there. You can message me on Yahoo anytime at BlondellaX if you need someone to listen. xxx
from sashasecrets :
Yes, I have SM on my buddy list :) I just read this and I love it. I also love your boob. Beyond sexy. XOXOXXXXXXX Please K.I.T. I would actually love that. XXX
from hate-me- :
My romulan lovers asked me to ask you to go rate their lover's new template, and they are also asking you to read the entry - down to the end. Well I must be on my merry way, so see you later. Or as the Klingon's say, Qapla'. <3
from hate-me- :
Someone does have nice boobies. And I take it you're a bit of an exhibtionist since I can see your nipple trying to break free from it's cotton prison. Lol. <3
from hate-me- :
You aren't parttime, and that isn't the lesson. Just soldier through it, it'll be ok eventually. *hugs* loveyou.
from girlsuicide :
YOU'RE A FOX, GET OVER IT.
from girlsuicide :
tiger.
from girlsuicide :
leopard.
from girlsuicide :
lioness.
from girlsuicide :
minx.
from samgrey :
Haha thanks for the note, you're not too shabby yourself ;)
from smashley719 :
miss ya too :) could really use your advice... this queen is losing her grip
from gettingnaked :
Thank you so much for the sweet note. I read your most recent entry and I just had to say that I can relate to some of what you wrote about. Some people just stay with you that way... it's a blessing and a curse all bundled up in one... sometimes one more than the other, but they're both always there.
from girlsuicide :
that means alot to me ♥ ♥ ♥
from asrael :
LMAO!!!!! I'm laughing so hard I can see the wrinkles at the corners of my fat little eyes. That's INSANE I love your Dr. =) You made my night Pimpa, I had wicked cramps but then I finally died laughing at your note.
from drmz-of-him :
So, are you trying to tell me that you write this diary FOR someone other than yourself? If that's the case, then just forget everything I'm trying to tell you. If this isn't for yourself, then never mind. If you keep this diary for YOU, then who gives a shit what others think? This is for YOU! Not for anyone else. If they think that way of you, they need to take a long walk of a short cliff.
from drmz-of-him :
Honey, you didn't set me off...but seriously, you're always afraid of hurting everyone else...what about when YOU get hurt? It matters. You might think that "oh I got hurt, it doesn't matter to anyone" but it DOES. People who care don't want to see you hurt. Its ok to say things that aren't necessarily nice...they're YOUR feelings, YOUR thoughts...nobody has to agree with them, but if you can't write to a diary, what can you do with all the stuff you need to get out?
from drmz-of-him :
What's the point in having a diary if you can't even say what you want or need to say? A diary is a private place for you to say whatever...if you don't want people to think that, then tell them to fuck off. You can't write in your DIARY for other people...its YOURS, not theirs!
from drmz-of-him :
Why ARE you censoring yourself? Who are you trying to protect? You or someone else?
from girlsuicide :
no darling it wasn't directed at you. it was a generalisation to all the girls who write to people they are too oblivious to see the person doesnt care about them <3
from omnipre5ence :
Thank you kindly. :) How was yours?
from imagine-if :
thanx 4 the notes - :) Ur sweet - but u knew that B4. ;)
from girlsuicide :
thankyou ♥ ♥ ♥
from girlsuicide :
that was unexpected and sweet. happy valentines day, havent spoke to you in a while, and when we do our conversations are distant. lots of love ♥
from smashley719 :
Happy V-Day! ;) Hope you go out and get you some lovin!--WDUM
from asrael :
♥ Happy Valentines Day Baby ♥
from kaotykdreamr :
Happy Valentine's Day to you too babe! Lov ya!
from somber-death :
Happy Valentines day to you too. =)
from hate-me- :
Happy v-day to you too. <3
from hate-me- :
lol!. I took care of my problem last night. Lotsa times. Too many to count. *purrs*
from alonenafraid :
Very! lol.
from samgrey :
Your note sparked my latest entry..damn you! Just teasing, I heard you like that =)~
from poopiebitch :
thanks for your note, I'm really glad you get some enjoyment from my little blog-thingy!
from coldandgray :
Thanks for the comment. Don't stop updating!
from samgrey :
You don't have to 'fix' anything. Just go into it with the mindset of writing for yourself, not for people that read you. They are just an added bonus, but ultimately writing is for yourself, your expression, your venting, etc. Write as if no one is reading.
from samgrey :
Uhm, very beautiful? =)
from samgrey :
Thanks for the quick notes back! I'm browsing diaries now, trying to find new people to read and befriend I guess. I'm glad to hear you may not be leaving, I'd hate to find you and have you leave. Your words are beautiful!
from samgrey :
I hope you do continue to update. I finally found someone I can relate to, someone I enjoy reading, please don't abandon me now!
from hate-me- :
:( *cries* Damnit was is everyone leaving their diaries this week!?! I'll miss your pretty words.
from drmz-of-him :
I totally want a picture! What's it of? Didn't hurt as bad as you thought, huh? Not to mention, that's the easiest and least painful spot on the female body (other than the butt) because its all fleshy and schtuff. You've seen mine on my left breasticle! I'm excited for you. PS you ARE attractive, Chrissiloo!!! =)
from preshusthorn :
i have no right answers anymore. go or stay. im too tired and too sick to have things matter to me. the snows melting outside and winters settling in on my heart. every day all i live for is disappearing. i haven't the strength to fight right now, literally. the secrets i've kept are strangling me and i expect nothing as much as i accept it. so you decide wherever you are or go or leave. but dont bother to remember. i dont ever want to be remembered.
from hate-me- :
I bet it didn't hurt half as bad as you thought it would <3
from hate-me- :
SCORE!!!!!!!!!! I definatly want a picture of it!. Of your tattoo, not your boob. Lol, I get my next tattoo + piercings on Munday :3
from drmz-of-him :
Yep, they're red and comfy and pretty darn sexxxy! *wink* Miss you, lady! *sigh*
from hate-me- :
Nope, I am most definatly not mistaken. Stamped it, no erasies ;)
from hate-me- :
*sniff* I miss you too. How come you haven't been on msn? *cries* no one's been on at all this past week and a half, do you have any idea how bored I am?!? Even Star Trek and The Sims 2 gets old after awhile...
from smashley719 :
...aww...you think i'm beautiful. Thanks you very muches.;)
from preshusthorn :
i wont let you stay
from molzo :
How about we just make you s19 and let it be? I'll add that soonly, and you have the password, right? And, you can write again and sign too.
from raven72d :
The layout image, rather.
from kaotykdreamr :
Just b/c we're moving to different states does not mean that we won't still be in touch! We'll both have internet! I think I need to write a diary entry about Alaska! Everyone is all like 'Are you still gonna have internet?' 'There's people in Alaska?' 'You don't live in igloos!?' yeah! Ok! I will still have internet in fact one of the girls I'll be living with is on the internet all the time! I talk to her constantly! So don't worry about losing touch with us or anything! k? Love ya babe! Faithly
from raven72d :
i do love your icon
from hate-me- :
You'll get your candy, once you finish recording my song :P <3
from cindreviews :
Cinderella Reviews is a brand new review site. So if you would like a review please come and check us out at http://cindreviews.diaryland.com/ . We hope to be hearing from you soon. Thank You!
from asrael :
I only got 88.4%. Murder time.
from drmz-of-him :
You'd best be 'memberin' that, be-otch! *giggle* Mwah!
from molzo :
Hey, it's the owner of i-h8-boys here. You can totally come back! Mmm...I'm getting a new e-mail account and stuff, so I can be on top of shit this time around. Just tell me what your number was, so I can put it back, and I'll e-mail you soonly with the password.
from smashley719 :
*HUGHUGHUGHUGHUG* ;) I'm not on MSN or any chat things anymore. Computer at home went bogus on me. So, I just do my diary from school. Good ol' e-mail. A bit lax on the technology, but hey...it works. ;)
from drmz-of-him :
It's by tATu, luv. Totally love that song! *Mwah!*
from hate-me- :
Aww, that's too funny. But miss jeri has a thing and doesn't like having her image posted anywhere... Take it down, pretty please?
from smashley719 :
***HUGHUGHUGHUGHUG*** :) How was that? Damn glad to see ya girl!
from raven72d :
Almost all kisses come too late.
from somber-death :
Aww. Haha. Yeah. When I'm happy, I'm crazy. Lyk woah. Sugar highs are great. As are caffiene highs... But think I've become immune to caffiene... Is that possible? o.O xSomber
from girlsuicide :
thankyou doll. im fine, you know. thoughtful. yourself?
from tokcocktok :
Chrissi cat <3
from asrael :
I can't even close my eyes until 5 AM too. I don't have to leave for school until 9 most days though.
from asrael :
If I sleep less than 2 hours at a time, and no more than 4 hours per day I don't get nightmares. I've run clean out of patience for everything though, it's kind of scaring me.
from asrael :
I don't like sleeping anymore.
from hate-me- :
*hugs*
from drmz-of-him :
Depends on what kinda tummy flutters? The kind where you want to *blech* or the kind that you get when you go on a really fun roller coaster that you were scared of getting on but would get on again and again now? And crushes can last as long as you want them to, but...someday maybe the crush will be more and then its not a crush...so...just keep crushing and hoping, and let me know how it goes! *wink* *mwah!*
from omnipre5ence :
I'm glad I can do that. :)
from drmz-of-him :
*wink* *mwah* *lickkkkkkkkkk*
from somber-death :
Haha. Thanks. I browsed through the most recent entry. But. From what I saw. You amuse me. =D
from hate-me- :
And you're the absolute coolest pimp an html whore could have :3
from asrael :
The song is by Coal Chamber
from asrael :
You win.
from asrael :
I like to give the illusion that I have perky 14-year-old breasts. I swear to Allah they've fallen half a foot on my chest.
from asrael :
I wasn't wearing a bra. And my breasts have fallen to my stomach with old age.
from raven72d :
Do write... I'd like to hear from you.
from raven72d :
Actually *climbing* Everest would be terrifying, painful, and exhausting. *Having climbed* Everest gets you social points and is a great story. Same with marriage. *Having been* married shows girls/other people that you're not gay or oedipally-challenged. *Being* married strikes me as expensive and inconvenient.
from raven72d :
I'd like to *have been* married rather than *be* married...
from girlsuicide :
firstly thankyou. secondly, im sorry things arent like they used to be but they say everything changes for a reason & im always here if you need to talk, dont be afraid of that.
from raven72d :
Married? No-- not ever. But...glad to hear from you...
from hate-me- :
Because. That's why :3
from some-trouble :
*Hugs you back* XXX
from asrael :
Thank you Pimpin Reddy Yo.
from hate-me- :
I know, I know. "One or alot of them"? I'll pick the latter definatly. Mmm. Romulans.. And fuck, if only they weren't actually humans with wigs, makeup, and fake ears on. And if they had the personality of all the dominating romulans. Never fuck a Ferengi though. Eww. That is crossing the line and then some. But they would make a cute pet, with their giantic ears and short little bodies. Perfect lover for Bunny? I never thought of that before.. Too bad she's spayed. Ha.
from hate-me- :
I remember this one species (can't remember the name) that looked like giagantic metalic fish wearing silver trashcans. Lwaxana (yes I did name one of my cats after her) said to Picard, "I still say they look better in sauce." Thankfully they were in stasis though.
from hate-me- :
Would you like it better if I liked Klingons? Or maybe the Founders (shapeshifters, changelings.) How about those blue blooded/skinned andorians with the antenna's? Lots of possiblities out there..
from hate-me- :
Your Miss Meanie Head was busy putting her kids to bed. And meh, I buzzed you on yahoo but you logged off like three minutes later without answering. I wasn't aware you liked Marilyn Manson, hottest guy right next to all my romulan lovers out there.
from asrael :
Tropicalmist doesn't ring a bell. So I guess it has been a year. ♥ w00t.
from asrael :
You sure it's only been a year? Mwa ha haaaaaa. Happy New Year Pimpin Reddy Yo.
from dope-slave :
pokemon rulez!!
from hate-me- :
*rubs chin and puts on her glasses* You see the stamped it no erasies goes back lots of years. It clearly defines whether something "sticks". Witches or not. *gets down on her knees* Please take me back mistress, I promise to behave. Pretty please with a cherry on top?
from hate-me- :
NO NOT THE STARTREK TAPES, ANYTHING BUT THE STAR TREK TAPES, HAVE MERCY!!!! But you didn't STAMP the 7 years bad sex curse! Haha, Jeri wins again. *offers you sex candy and body chocolate* Please don't fire me mistress!!
from hate-me- :
Hmm, I thought I would try. Bottom of the food chain it is, but at least I'm furhairless from the neck down... Gritting my teeth as you pull on my hair, trying not to make any sounds as your hand makes harsh contact with my ass. Knowing any sounds would just result in further punishment from my pimp. But my self control flutters, and I lightly cry out as you spank me again, this time harder than before. Cursing you in my head, then with a fright I hear the familar clink of handcuffs. You cuff my hands behind my back and blindfold me.
from hate-me- :
Turns around and takes the flog from your talented fingers as I tell you to lay over the bed with your knees on the floor. Taking the flog, running it over your body before lightly hitting you with it, progressivoly getting harder and harder until your body is begining to glow red and you're starting to pant hard. You beg for me to continue, but I have other plans for my pet...
from hate-me- :
Wow, I was joking about the BDSM. But sadly, you are dead on about "people like us." *grins* The handcuffs and nipple clamps are in the drawer under my bed. Haha, five more weeks till I get my nips pierced. And no, my perfect lover isn't aboard Voyager. I have a couple of perfect lovers. One's a klingon (Martok), one's a cardassian (Gul Dukat), and one's a human doctor (Julian Bashir).. Ah fuck now you're getting me thinking of the naughty.
from hate-me- :
triplets? I pray for you, twins are hard enoguh girl. But hmm, they do have surgeries now adays maybe you could become a hermaphadite and get the best of both worlds? Too bad it doesn't work that way though :( I saw the documentary on the Life channel. They had to shatter the last of my dreams. :P I wonder though, if someone didbecome a hermaphadite and able to fuck themselves, how would they dress? Would they wear a skirt and a dinner jacket? Or a blouse and tight leather pants? Or a BDSM skin tight black shiny leather bondage outfit? Alot to think about. Like the sentient cow.
from hate-me- :
Bah, that note was meannnnnnnnnnnn Admiral Chrissi. If you're gonna start something, finish it. lol. I am joking of course. Unfourtunatly Jeri only goes for the people with an extra finger attached to themselves. Well it better be bigger than a finger... But not so big it's the size of someone's forearm.. Ah so many varities and so little time to sample them all. Sometimes being an html whore is fun stuff, sometimes it requires alot of work. But in the end, lying on the bed, I am able to get a good nights sleep knowing my work here is done. lol.
from hate-me- :
Maybe you're right. But three vibrators at once is just a little too much. Jeri ain't very big missy. 5'4 and 118lbs. And it's fun talking to you like this, it's really weird having this kind of conversation with michael anyway. Last night he told me tradional masturbation technquies he didn't like. I asked him waht tradional meant, he said 3 fingers/fist. I was in shock until I remembered he's a guy. .. Donkey kong's too hairy to fuck my dear. I don't go for the beastality thing lol. Romulan? Did you say romulan? Or did you mean the fuckhead with the giantic equitment? Romulan. Mmm. If only they were real.
from hate-me- :
Alright, I said I loved your hair. Now tell me my secret, Admiral
from hate-me- :
Alright, I love your hair. No kicking Jerkass's ass tonight baby. Not until I get my unpoppedcherry strawberry margarita anyway :3
from some-trouble :
Happy New Year! I hope 2005 is a fabulous year for you. XXX
from hate-me- :
I buzzed you about an hour ago, someone responded with "i don't know you, she's not here." Meh. I'll go onto my romaulan-blown yahoo messanger
from hate-me- :
Happy bew years to you as well. :p and you're not really late - it's 12:14am here right now.
from hate-me- :
Thankyou my dahling. And I'd never spit on you. But meh, sex with straberries is hilarious! Espially when the manwhore nearly chokes on one of them. aim isn't working on my computer any more, it's fucked up just like everything else. Yahoo can blow me and my romulan lovers, but I can redownload it. What time are you usually online around nowadays? I'm usually not on after 10pm, or before 6pm or during 7pm.. lol. And you know my shedual. Ta.
from krazieespy :
im sorry I dont know what you are talkin about spamming my guestbook. I dont even know who you are....
from hate-me- :
And of course I miss you as well. Get your butt on msn!
from hate-me- :
Which friend would this be, Mikeyboy? I'm depressed, today is the last day I'm allowing myself to drink coke/coffee. I don't know how I'm gonna survive the withdrawels. Bah. And how are we, miss pimpin Chrissi?
from hate-me- :
The sex was good, but the food sucked. I wanted chicken strips. lol. I am 1 1/2 hungry now, lunch is almost done though :D
from krazieespy :
Stop spamming my guestbook, kthanks.
from hate-me- :
I know, but how can you RESIST the greenblooded Romulans?!? Gah, if they were real, and the federation and them weren't enemies, I'd totally steal a shuttle and go over to Romulus and get jiggy with acouple of them. I'd be court marhshalled, when I came back. Well, if I came back. You know, Klingons are kinda cute :3 wouldn't mind taking a detour and going over to Kronos and finding a couple of Klingons......
from hate-me- :
Pointy ears? which species, romulans or vulcans? They're distant cousins. I wouldn't want to fuck a vulcan, they repress their feels so i'd be like fucking Data. But a romulan.. hmm, rough, aggresive and they know what they're doing. Now you're talking girl. :D Is it weird that fucking a romulan now sounds like a good idea to me?
from hate-me- :
LOL .. no freaking jeri out pretty please, I told you before Starfleet (Star Trek, it's their military and they run all the starships eg; the enterprise and shit) has already recruited me. Did you hear? Masturbation just got promoted to Vice-Adrmiral, Starfleet's highest rank yet! lol.
from hate-me- :
Yep, plenty of horses around here in mailing season. Well not around here, more like in the vallies and farm lands and shit. I wouldn't mind a horsie though :3 although I think bunny and the fucker might. MEH
from hate-me- :
*looks around* I don't see any bad people here, just a single html whore in this room and a bunny rabbit who barks.
from hate-me- :
My cable fully died, even the digital cable for the tv is starting to go as well. Stupid obsolete degrading wires. It took forever to beg the fucker to sign up for dial-up for the time being. And you wouldn't believe it, but ALL dial-up companies in the phone book don't work between xmas and new years. So I'm stuck on AOL until the bastards at rogers come and fix my cable. lol that last setence sounded dirty. And what kind of punishment are we talking? lol
from hate-me- :
Late merry christmas to you, my pimp. :D
from chickpea981 :
thank you very much
from cakalaki :
BOOOOOOOO! :D:D:D
from girlsuicide :
happy christmas.
from some-trouble :
Hiya, I just wanted to wish you and your family a Merry Xmas. I hope you have a lovely day! From Jo XXX
from omnipre5ence :
Thanks for the compliment, and Merry Christmas to you too. :)
from cakalaki :
Yeah sorry about that lol. I put the other email up but deleted it a few minutes after I had put it up. Sorry! lol I wuv you hun ♥
from girlsuicide :
dont listen to him, he doesnt know shit.
from raven72d :
You quoted Epictetus... I love that. And the layout is amazingly alluring.
from omnipre5ence :
Well, to be honest, I try not to kill anything at all if I can avoid it. I'd rather set a bug free than slaughter it :/ So you could say it still exists. :)
from omnipre5ence :
No problem. :) Thanks for the add regardless.
from omnipre5ence :
:O I'm actually a guy.
from omnipre5ence :
Sure =) I wouldn't mind you adding me at all.
from snowpea54 :
hey mommy. Ianted to let you know that I love you and I want you to read my diary entry titled blaah
from omnipre5ence :
Inspiring quotes. :)
from jack-n-jill :
hope youre okay, i can't use messenger A blocked me out
from my-serenade :
That place was for her and I. You stole from me the moment you went there. You stole the trust I have in her and tried to make it your own. How could you do that to me? It wasn't your's. It isn't your's and you took it away. That was for her and I. And you...I can't believe you did that. Those were my words to her and her alone. Things I wanted, needed only her to know and you took them. You stole them from me. Tell me when and what gave you the right to have access to all of me- I was never your's. I never will be and you have no right to go there. That was mine god damn it, you touched parts of me I never allowed you too and the existence of them were not a sign of approval for you to go ahead and rape those words, that trust. You stole it from me. You broke boundaries that were sacred to me. How dare you.
from cakalaki :
about what love...
from asrael :
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥*heartgasms*♥♥♥♥♥♥
from asrael :
¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾I CAN'T DO IT¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾ Hearts hate me.
from enigmawolf :
By the way, I forgot to let you know that I've changed screen names.. i guess somehow I thought you wouldnt' care. Just in case you do, somehow, here it is. AIM- Poisonpromise18 MSN-poisonedgypsy@hotmail.com
from enigmawolf :
Thanks for the note. I really hope you're doing alright. I still read when I can, and I do hope your life gets itself in order really soon. You deserve it, of all people you have good coming your way after all the shit you've been through. Bless' Jo
from asrael :
Not working. But I can still leave three quarters of a cent! ¢¾
from cakalaki :
I don't care anymore.
from cakalaki :
Why do I even bother...
from hate-me- :
Can Jeri have the u/p, pretty please?
from jack-n-jill :
just stopped by a's to check my email. hi:)
from snowpea54 :
hi mommy I love you sooooooooooo much. and you are my favorite person in the whole world
from jack-n-jill :
who are you talking about?
from jack-n-jill :
I like that last entry.
from enigmawolf :
You may not remember me, but I still read your diary. From your latest entry, it seems no one will be able to change your mind. I'm sorry I wasn't there more often, and I do hope your life gets better. I hope things will become bearable for you, and please update every once in a while to let us all know you are still alive and well.
from girlsuicide :
ive known you for a year now & we're losing touch. some might say we're touchless. i thought we'd last longer than this. i hope things are okay over there.
from jack-n-jill :
I got your email. I'm at A's. I'll email back soon.
from jack-n-jill :
I'm sorry im like this
from jack-n-jill :
Losing that number is probably fate, miss chrissy. I came back here to see if I'd made a mistake by leaving but i think i'm alright. I'm off to lala land now; i'll miss you. good luck with whatsername.
from hate-me- :
Simple. Have your body force you to stay alive for twenty-seven years.
from darkly-blue :
♥ thank you so much
from jack-n-jill :
i'm barely leaving now. i'll miss you a lot.
from hate-me- :
It worked. Thanks. I miss you, hang in there doll.
from fadedesire :
You're locked. Can I come in? (jeri)
from jack-n-jill :
I got your email, I'm going to email you whan I get a chance, okay?
from jack-n-jill :
ok
from cutie1083 :
Please leave me alone.
from jack-n-jill :
i stopped by to use the computer and wanted to say hi. i haven't talked to you in a while. i don't know what that means. i guess aj's not the only one that's disposable, huh?
from preshusthorn :
youre the only one forgetting who you are -- youre the only one killing the me inside of you && no i wont apologize you put yourself in your second place youre the one whos fighting to be replaced //you've always wanted me to be just like everyone else// and leave you broken on a shelf
from jack-n-jill :
I'm leaving now. ttys
from jack-n-jill :
miss chrissy, I am picking up my stuff from A's house right now. I don't know if I'll have a computer for a while, so I'll talk to you when I can. I got fired a little while ago. I'm okay don't worry about me, okay?
from hugbug6s :
listening to music//the beat is loud//falling behind the rhythm//falling through a cloud//lift me up again//so i can see the view//rip out this heart of mine//so love will feel new//forget the yellow lines//of warning in my construction//they're cutting deeper than they should//listen to the music//it is my only heart beat//my only rhythm//no more running feet//no stars out tonight//to make this bloody ember//feel like burning bright---
from fadedesire :
I'm glad you're safe. Goodluck out there.
from girlsuicide :
you know where i am bébé. <3
from asrael :
There is rarely any more drama on any other website as there is in diaryland. You have thick skin babe you can get through the bullshit. Either way, you rock.
from jack-n-jill :
hi chrissy. email me, okay? I dunno if youre online or not. i want to talk to you, the jeep is fucked and I gotta go before things get worse
from jack-n-jill :
um, Chrissy, the one always looking at your stuff is me. I use the same computer remember? Just thought you should know that b/c I read that entry and wanted you to knw the truth. It's me.
from girlsuicide :
i know things are hectic. life is always hectic. just some lives are more hectic than others. its exactly midnight here. im cold, im hungover. things never feel right at night. my hands hurt from the bleach i just soaked a shirt in. <3
from girlsuicide :
aw, no worries lover. sorry if you thought i was angry with you. id just been trying to get through to you most of the day, and to be honest im worried. we NEVER talk anymore, its just... i dont know. i wonder if you want me in your life anymore. i thought about emailing you, but then i realised i ahdnt left you a note in a while, so thats what i did. <3
from girlsuicide :
HERE I GO, SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT, & TRY TO GET TO YOU. where are you? i keep messaging you, with no reply. im worried, man. <3
from jack-n-jill :
sorry about the other day, internet problems
from jack-n-jill :
How was your birthday?
from barely-jeri :
happy birthday (((((hugz)))))
from jack-n-jill :
I'm okay. As for her, I don't know, I'm out of the loop. Do you know anything?
from poetic-kiss :
i know the exact same feeling. ♥
from preshusthorn :
i love you mi corazon...where are you love..i hope you get on soon. love you always -your baby-
from asrael :
I came here all the way from my grilled cheese sandwich in the kitchen to write a note to you. I'm bored.
from lilindamil :
doll you are too sweet.
from sweetkel :
Don`t be sorry,honey!But you can`t log on properly if somebody is using it at the same time,thats why you got that error.Don`t be sorry,honey.I love you. Karen
from sweetkel :
username: romanticide-2 password:amyrocks Yeah,its correct,I just logged on tho.
from chickpea981 :
To follow up: Anyone with that taste in music shouldn't be making mixed CDs let alone spreading them around to infect other people with their attitude. Whoever sent that is a jackass. Don't let a fucking song or a fucking moron who sent it dictate your life or your attitude. I know you're stronger than that and I know you are much more of a person than that. *hug*
from chickpea981 :
Horrible music from horrible artists. You shouldn't listen to that CD because its shit! Not because any of it means its you. Fuck that noise.
from preshusthorn :
holy crap you get a lot of notes woman! i love you mi corazon, and i miss you. just a little reminder :) -baby-
from barely-jeri :
the user/pass is still the same .. user: klingon pass: coffee
from poetic-kiss :
<3
from sweetkel :
Hey,thanks Chrissy.I don`t know what to say,you are so kind to me.*hug* Mmm,we currently got a share account in deviantart.com,you can post your poems or other stuff there,we really welcome you.But for personal reason is I would like to invite you to be our member.*hug*I promise you that we will guarantee your copyright. Check out here, http://romanticide-2.deviantart.com,you will get more info from the newest journal entry.Thanks for taking your time. By the way,if you are agree to join and submit deviation,the username is romanticide-2,password is amyrocks. I wish you will!=) Always love, Karen
from asrael :
DEATH TO DIAL-UP!!! What the hell shirt, the one with naked me on it? Or some shirt that actually exists?
from asrael :
I'm a shirt whore. I have no idea what shirt you're talking about.
from asrael :
You're the first one to say anything about the changing title. Yes, it changes frequently. It's as much fun as re-arranging the sock drawer! Why the hell is my printer printing in white???
from jack-n-jill :
?
from asrael :
I'm so bored.
from gumphood :
I certainly am not completly dogging him. I liked his stuff too but he's clearly on one side of ridiculous. Like there will never be another Meatloaf.
from gumphood :
I really am glad you were amuzed by that. I ragged on meatload... He's had a hard life...you know...for like a meatloaf.
from preshusthorn :
that was an amazing entry love. things will turn out better than you can imagine *holds my hand out to you*
from lilindamil :
locked out.. again ?
from asrael :
Crap I just remembered I forgot to PUNK my sister before she went home. Before I fill my last bare bedroom wall with posters of rockstars, tell me how many giraffe orgasms it takes to get to the center of six blue asian jars of pig ears.
from barely-jeri :
(((hugz)) I still hope you'll be coming online.
from asrael :
My mistake was watching 4 consecutive hours of PUNK'D. The theme song has my head stuck to the fucking fridge.
from jack-n-jill :
They're not my tears
from saphire-rain :
neh, I'm still using my regular diary - I just put everyone on my buddylist onto this one. jeri
from chickpea981 :
locked everyone out? You okay?
from andwebreathe :
and I wish you weren't locked up with me waiting outside the door for the key.. admittance please love? ♥
from oceans-depth :
whats wrong sweetie? I agree with you it does. xoox Deja
from ionme :
lol - yw
from sweetkel :
Hey, Chrissy!Umm,may I read your diary if you don`t mind. Karen
from oceans-depth :
May I have a password please Love. xoxo Deja
from chickpea981 :
thank you very much. I needed to hear that.
from snowpea54 :
Hi mommie!!! I love you alots!! you can read my dairy too.
from preshusthorn :
you're sleeping right now (i hope) and dreaming of me (of course) ;) and i'm bored and have nothing to do. i miss you a lot and wish you were here as much as you want to be. i left heather her first note :) i love you so much chrissiface, to the moon and the stars and back again *kisses* ♥ your girl
from mestupchick :
youve got mail xxx
from asrael :
"I'm a red neck womyn I ain't no high class brawd." As much as I hate to admit it, I like that song. Especially the part that goes "Victoria's Secret, well their stuff's real nice. Oh but I could buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price" Hell yeah.
from chickpea981 :
I'd like to email you something, but I lack the email address. Care to share?
from lilindamil :
you... are.... amazing.
from poetic-kiss :
that was lovely ♥
from redsirenbody :
wait. you leave me a note like that and dont give me the password? that is just wrong love. What did you like about what you read? L
from breathe-salt :
chrissy? as in, velvet-heart chrissy? *gasp* oh my gosh, how ARE you? i've missed you so much! could i pretty please have the password? i'd be forever grateful...<3salt
from asrael :
In a word: Pimpa. You're the only one who says nice things. But just now, I saw your name on the notes page.
from sweetkel :
Chrissi, you are so sweet.I just don`t know how to say. Thank you so much!I am gonna cry.Thanks for caring me,really!:hugs:I love you! Love, Karen
from barely-jeri :
Aww, you're locked. Can I come in?
from oceans-depth :
Have a good weekend sweetie. Besos xoox Deja
from kennethcole :
*gives hug*
from enigmawolf :
Silly girl :P
from poetic-kiss :
♥=thats all i can say
from poetic-kiss :
doll, as long as you say it, that;s all that matters. i;m sorry i didnt talk to you more yesterday online, i feel really guilty about it now. i heart you. rainy ♥
from preshusthorn :
chrissy my love, you mean so very much to me. i'm at denises and its about 4 am here and i jsut wanted to let you know that i love you and care for you so much and i hope youre feeling better tomorrow when i talk to. i hope youre doing better, and you mean so much to me. i pray youre resting well, though i probably shouldnt trust to hope. *kisses and hugs* i love you, your baby
from poetic-kiss :
from poetic-kiss :
my dad & i have a completley love/hate relationship. i'll always love him. he will always love me. but he often acts like a child or a teenager and he needs to know where to put his priorities and let me be the kid for once. he can be the best person in my life...then he can be the nightmare that makes me cry myself to sleep. he never hurts my physically, just emotionally. things like ignoring me and doing things with my brothers and not me. i feel bad being so upset by it, and i look like im raking for attention, but sometimes i just want him to spend time with me, y'know? i think he'll regrets it sometimes, and then he spends time with me. but often only when ive reminded him, and he should just DO IT. he treats my mom really well, but i think she feels slightly ignored sometimes too. there are days when they'll talk loads, and me and him will talk loads, and others when he just doesn't. i guess every family has its downs, and that's mine. i love you. rainy x
from oceans-depth :
I have switched you over to this one Love. Sorry for the delay but D-land servers really bite it lately. But you will always be on my faves list Love. xoxox Deja
from bebegracie :
You are now a distinguished member of my favouries! x
from poetic-kiss :
thankyou is all i can think to say. you know i think everything you said times a million. + i thought you were leaving today which is why i left you the pathetic speech on msn. lol. i love you chrissi. <333
from poetic-kiss :
Love is this marathon//im running for you baby//and you don't know me yet but faith is all i have//See and im gonna win this race//Love is this marathon im running for you baby//and you don't know it yet but faith is all i have//See and im gonna win this race.//Yesterday I had a glimpse of you//you looked me in my face//And just they other day you rushed right by me//I felt you in so much pain//so tell me do you think of me//or can you see if im am far//I swear I said I'll wait for you//But fate might change the stars// &don;t ask: i just heard the lyrics and thought of you... [love] rainy <333
from preshusthorn :
you said last night, "your one true friend." but my love, you'd fogotten yourself. though it's usually just your way to put yourself last, i'm not letting you get away with it. you're one of my only two true friends, and i love you so very much. (ps listen to chickpea she knows what she's saying!! spoke yo' mind! ;-P)
from chickpea981 :
Thank you darlin. What good is a diary for if you can't rant and rave a bit? Sometimes it gets my ass in trouble, but you gotta stop worrying about what people think and protect yourself by speaking whats on your mind.
from poetic-kiss :
i dont hate you. i love you. for you to tell me to tell me im ignorant hurts me more than the things you did. i never said i hated you. i would never say that. but dont tlel me im ignorant, and full of myself when you cant even say those things to me.
from kennethcole :
i feel so redundant telling you over and over how beautifull every entry is but i suppose it must be done so here gose that was beautiful
from poetic-kiss :
okay, so you don;t care? great. for your information i delete notes that "erk" me because i can;t deal with seeing you hurt me more than you already have. besides, i would much rather exerpt my feelings for the world to see than hide away and say things behind other's backs like you did to me. don;t you dare make this out to be my fault because inside you, you know that it isn;t. i wrote you an e-mail because i thought it should be personal, but obviously you don;t think highly enough of me to make it personal to me. of course, i can;t allow my feelings to be put on MY diary, but because you are the divine, almighty goddess you are, you can put your emotions and blame onto OTHER PEOPLE'S diaries, then have a go at them for deleting things that shouldn't even be put on their diaries in the first place! do you think i should keep every stanza, every word, every letter, every mark of punctuation from you just for being you? no matter what the extent of the content? there was a time when i would hang on to your every word, and every phrase. i adored you. it seems to me that things you already have you let slip out of your reach, and those you can;t have you chase. you know where to find me.
from soulstrong :
oh i see. my how things change behind shadows. forget that last note. im leaving diaryland. im locking my diary. and no one is getting inside. dont come looking, you'll find things you'll wish you'd never unearthed. betrayal spoke too quietly recently, but my heart heard its final words. cant hide your secrets forever. i always find out.
from poetic-kiss :
i hope i can be inside those walls rather that the outside. i love you. ♥
from poetic-kiss :
im here to listen to you heart ♥
from kennethcole :
Hahaha i apsolutly knew you would be the first to notice. Your suck a doll chrissi
from soul-letters :
bullshit chrissy. you don't suck at all in the slightest at anything. you rock at everything. i know that because i feel it, and i realise I don't tell you that enough. you do NOT suck. i don't love people who suck. and i love you. rainy <333
from kennethcole :
Dont worry babe im fine just being good old melodramatic me
from poetic-kiss :
♥ rainy <333
from sweetkel :
Hey, thanks for helping me and you are really sweet. Wishing everything will be ok with you. <3 Karen
from soul-letters :
it pisses me off that you keep changing yr password. i won't read anymor eif it means that much to you.
from misspersonal :
I'm here. Talk.
from poetic-kiss :
well here;s a note for you. your not talking on msn, and im bored, so i thought id call to say i love you! daym i hate that song! well, here goes: "I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU"____________ ♥ "____________ ♥ "____________ ♥ "____________ ♥ "____________ ♥ "____________ ♥ "____________ ♥ "____________ ♥ "____________ ♥ "____________ ♥ "____________ ♥ *mwah* rainy <333
from barely-jeri :
You haven't answered my IM's for days. Are you mad at me?
from barely-jeri :
(((hugz))) you're not an idiot. And I'll poke you till you believe it. *poke* [yes yes it's getting old, but you can't blame me for trying]. you rock and of course I love ya. xx

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