| from
raven72d : |
|
Are you still out there?
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
wow, i'm so thrilled!...my myspace is as follows:www.myspace.com/georgiasbrat
please add me as a friend, my page is private...i can't wait to see yours!...xoxo...
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
I'm so proud of you!...I know it's hard to fight those inner feelings of wanting to cut, and I admire you for being able to rise above it...You are a very strong person, and don't ever underestimate yourself, or sell yourself short...Look how far you've come in such a short time...glad you are still here, updating so I know how you are...xoxo...
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
I promise that I won't leave you...I've gone thru and deleted alot of diaries that really bored me, or who the authors really pissed me off...Instance, ones who talk about how much they love their kids, then go out all weekend and get drunk, then trash talk the baby's father(hypocrisy, anyone?)...I always perk up when you have updated and you are always the first one I read...I've read you for years, and that will never change...I'm not leaving, just taking a breather for a bit...If you ever get a myspace, let me know, ok?...xoxo...
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| from
pink-circle : |
|
Hey, wow. Getting through the first year is still worth a lot of things, even if it feels like a waste of time. Fix your sights on the finish line.
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| from
i-never-said : |
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Thinking of you, and hoping all is well...let us know you are still around, will ya?!...
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| from
raven72d : |
|
Have you been okay?
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
I've missed your updates, and always think of you...Thanks for letting me know you are still around!...
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| from
writergrrl88 : |
|
I was wondering -- and hoping that you were among the alive and mostly-okay. Diaryland seems to have died -- LiveJournal really isn't bad ... I hope if you get one, you'll add me (I'm Writergrrl88 there, too).
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
I'm sorry you aren't happy at RVC...I wish I could wave a magic wand and make things bettr for you...Just know that I am thinking of you, and always pulling for you-you have my admiration and respect...
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| from
i-never-said : |
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Do you have a myspace?...I do, and if you want, I'll send you the link...Chin up, things will get better..xoxo
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| from
harri3tspy : |
|
Hi, honestliar. I'm the moderator of the academia ring. I'm doing some cleanup to the list and I can't seem to find a link to the ring on your page. I'll check back again in a few days. If I can't find the link, I'm going to remove you from the list. If it's there and I'm missing it, could you let me know? Thanks!
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| from
emaciana : |
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thanks for your note. it makes a lot of sense i think.
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| from
for-you-only : |
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antidepressants are a waste, and they are not good for you at all, they only make things worse. google search Dr. Mark Hymen sometime.
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| from
reviews-only : |
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I actually don't mind pap smears.
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| from
msjessica : |
|
of course, u/s: slow password: dancing xx
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| from
emaciana : |
|
thank you for reminding me of the good things, the positive side. that yes, we have a healthy baby and that's all that matters. one day i will have my little girl but for now i've got to enjoy my little boy. you are a sweetheart, thanks again.
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
your writing never fails to take my breath away...i wish i was half as talented as putting my thoughts into words as you are...
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
i'll tell you...it was HSB, who has never lied to me...or never lied and been caught...i'll write more about it later today, still really mad about it all...so, who are you writing about?...because i can feel all of your emotions in your entries...
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| from
raven72d : |
|
The ice is only thin if you say that it is. You have so many avenues, so much of a future...
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| from
i-never-said : |
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Thank you for the encouraging note...You have always been someone I admire and I've enjoyed reading both of your diaries, and watching you grow...It means alot to me, what you wrote...You will always have my undying love, respect, and support...Thank you so much...xoxo
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
Hi Mandy...Would love to see your senior pictures, I don't hink I've ever seen a pic of you...Email address is georgias_brat@yahoo.com...Thanks, Ali
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| from
momma-at-17 : |
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I'd like to see them I've been reading for a while now. If you don't mind my email is duckyngeorge629@msn.com Thanks!
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| from
lust- : |
|
Happy belated birthday! I want a tattoo to cover up all of the scars on my left arm, but it'd have to be one huge tattoo..♥
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| from
i-never-said : |
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I have only one, it's the Japanese symbol for faith and it's on my lower back...I want another one, but can't decide what I want...I think you are a remarkable person, and I do believe that everything happens for a reason...Doesn't make it suck any less, but still the same...Love ya...
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| from
i-never-said : |
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Happy Birthday!...And congrats on the tattoo...They are addicting, trust me...Much love to you!...xoxo...
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| from
i-never-said : |
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OK, I saw a website for you to look into regarding a loan to get into Hollins...www.ChaseEd14.com...They give loans to students and you don't have to start re-payment until after you graduate...Check into it and see if you can get a loan for Hollins...xoxo...
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| from
i-never-said : |
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ok, tomorrow you need to call them back and tell them that you are going...and try to figure out how to do it...don't give up on this, i know deep down you want to go...give it time, and check into EVERYTHING, before admitting defeat...you owe it to yourself...
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| from
for-you-only : |
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That's fucked up your parents, very fucked up. You should be able to take out your own loan, can't you? That blows so much.
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| from
for-you-only : |
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tagged! http://for-you-only.diaryland.com/july7d.html
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| from
pfirsich : |
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Is this yours? This name isn´t working. Try "winner". Like someone who wins at games, or gambling. Who wins at pocker or something. Try that! Pleeeeeze!
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| from
for-you-only : |
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I tagg you! You must follow the game - to read the rules of the game, read my latest entry. :) YOU'RE TAGGED! ~Phoenix Rules URL: http://for-you-only.diaryland.com/july7c.html
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| from
writergrrl88 : |
|
Once you are 18, they cannot legally control you -- and taking out loans for University is a right of passage ... it sucks but is often necessary. Your parents didn't start a college fund? Well, that sucks but they can keep their mouths shut while you find a way to pay for the education you've earned. I'm sure it doesn't count for much, but I'm behind you 110%.
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| from
writergrrl88 : |
|
It's probably the anti-depressants that are making you worse. You should go off them immediately. Pot will improve your mood, so if you have access you should smoke some. If not, try drinking.
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| from
emaciana : |
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thanks for the compliments on my hair. i love long hair and wish i could have kept it long, but the ends were too damaged. i think that's a great idea, donating hair. i should've thought of that!
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| from
i-never-said : |
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That is by far, the BEST entry you've ever written...Be proud of who you are and what you have become and overcome...I'm so happy for you, and I could feel the happiness and the sense of triumph you felt in your heart as you
wrote this entry...I admire and respect you tremendously...
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| from
amazinfuckup : |
|
That's probably the first entry I've ever found with someone who's gotten over cutting. Even though I'm a stranger, I'm proud of you. I graduate in a week and a half. Weird feeling, huh?
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| from
i-never-said : |
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OMG, I'm SOOOO happy for you...Congrats to you both...xoxoxo
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
wow, i can't believe you are about to graduate...i think i've read your diary for about 3 years now...i'm so glad that i found you..and congrats on not cutting yourself, thats a big step for you...and you damn well better keep this diary so we can all know whats going on with you when you get to Hollins!...much love to you, Mandy...xoxo
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| from
msjessica : |
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congratulations! good luck in your finals x
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| from
i-never-said : |
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i love the name ava...if i had a girl, i was going to name her ava elizabeth...good luck on being an unwed mother, hehe...
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| from
emaciana : |
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hahaha the piercing thing... i forgot to change that line. it's changed now. ya know how when you go through those surveys sometimes you skip a line by accident... yeah. i did that. thanks for pointing it out!!! xoxo
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| from
rapethismind : |
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Hey...how's life? I haven't been on here in forever and haven't been checking up on anyone. Hope things are going well.
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| from
raven72d : |
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Giles had the kind of style I do envy.
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
I understand now! See, when you said in your entry "I hate to sound 17" I thought you ment something like "I hate to sound so young" but really you meant, "I hate to sound like other people my age, but.." I get it. I was just being slow. I did think you were the same age as me. I'm 17 and graduating this year too you know. :) ~Phoenix
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
How old are you? 20?
|
| from
recieveher : |
|
unlocked
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| from
i-never-said : |
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I'm so sorry that he did that to you...If I was closer, I'd put my foot up his ass sideways for you...You'll make it to Hollins, it's your destiny, I am sure of it...xoxo
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
Oh Mandy, I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin...I'm hoping that one day they find a cure, or a drug that will help fight Marfans...Either way, my thoughts and prayers are with you...Big hug from me to you...xoxo
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
Thanks for the note, Mandy...Happy Easter to you, and Matt, too...Much love...xoxo...Oh, I added you to my AIm list-I'm brokentearsangel...
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| from
raven72d : |
|
i'd seen articles about the Marfan's drug. I hope that is able to help you...
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| from
i-never-said : |
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Thanks for the note...It made my day...Hope things are going well for you...Take care!...
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| from
i-never-said : |
|
holy shit-$12,000?...that would almost pay off my car!...congrats, Mandy-you deserve all the best...and remember, people who judge you are jerks-family or not...that saying "people who live in glass houses shouldn't cast stones" comes to mind...they just don't want to see their own flaws, so it's easier to focus on someone else and pick them apart...and, been there on the hip/back thing-i had a nice bruise there!...
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
No hispanic lesbians, hmm? I'd reconsider that.
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| from
emaciana : |
|
i agree that girl interrupted is better a book than a movie. i also like your new design.
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| from
for-you-only : |
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I'm not surprised! Heh! I probably said "fuck" in my most recent entry.
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| from
for-you-only : |
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I think we are, because I haven't gotten anything since the one you wrote me in like... october? which was forever ago, so I'm going to ask my mom if she has anything she forgot to mention. I still loves you!!! ~Pink
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| from
life4rent : |
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I know that feeling oh so well. I come on here daily intending to updatee and I seem to have nothing to say. Strange feeling, very strange. <3333333
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| from
emaciana : |
|
i miss your updates...
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
Owch. I would take it that way too. Screw her. Some people just don't understand that real friends don't hang out with poeple that hurt their friends.
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| from
recieveher : |
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e-mail address?
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| from
emaciana : |
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diaryland rocks! i don't have a myspace account and don't plan on it either. take care!
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
I like Eminem's latest too. Oh, the notes from "button-maker" are me you know.
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| from
writergrrl88 : |
|
Aww... I hope you're feeling better soon. (Just be careful to only take your regular dose, Seraquel can be addictive.)
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| from
button-maker : |
|
Okay, I know this is my third note now...but... Is Matt still depressed? I know how you feel, normalling being the one being comforted, and then suddenly it's reveresed on you. I don't know what to do when Travanti is upset sometimes. When it comes down to it, I think a person has to come to their own inner peace... no matter what you do, I think it's them who makes the choice to come out of it. Am I making sense? I'm sleep deprived, and really hungry, so I'm not sure if I make sense today...
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| from
button-maker : |
|
Oh! Hollins. I knew that - but where is it? Which City and State?
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| from
button-maker : |
|
Heh, you just wrote about how it's stupid to meet someone you met online. It's funny, I did actually meet someone in person that I met online when I was 13. It was an interesting experence. My mom has met people in person that she origionally met online - and she enjoyed it as well. I think you just met a dud. lol. I still think you should come to Buffalo some time. Where are you going to college anyway? I'm going to Harrington in Chicago. :) ~Pink
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
ugh, I just NOW read the letter you sent in OCTOBER! My mom had lost it. I throughly yelled at her about it, lol. Anyway, maybe if I could call you, (or you could call me 716-883-1075) and your parents could be convinced that I'm trust worthy. You could spend the weekend here if you came and you'd be fed and have a bed to sleep in and all of that. If you're interested. The party is the 17th. (of december) I'm also having a New Years party (I THINK, it isn't official until I arrange a running bathroom in my room) on New Years of course... But it would be really awesome to meet you.
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| from
schutta : |
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some people are just douches. don't worry doll, the internet was made for lying, so was real life. I just hope your first year of university/university career? is more productive than mine.
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| from
cactus-blood : |
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don't be sorry for being a *liar*... it's her own problem for being a pussy about it eh?
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| from
emaciana : |
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félicitations!!! yay for you! hug this feeling for as long as it lasts, girl, you deserve it.
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| from
i-never-said : |
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Congratulations, Mandy!...It's the start of the rest of your new life...Good for you...Ali
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| from
koi-ishly : |
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congrats, like your diary, and I'm adding you =) hope that makes you feel dland is getting a little cooler.
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| from
writergrrl88 : |
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| from
life4rent : |
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I know what you mean, everyone I know has myspace, no-one's even heard of diaryland other than me! But then you don't get that many brits on here anyway. Much love.<3333
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| from
schutta : |
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sorry hun, diaryland's glory days have already come and gone.
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| from
imitatrix : |
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I hope your therapist is no psycho. Then again, you could get interesting drugs out of it- it could be lucrative! Good luck.
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| from
emaciana : |
|
have fun with that feelings journal... tee hee
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| from
schutta : |
|
I don't think people who commit suicide ever actually know how many people it will effect. I don't think they would do it if they did.
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| from
emaciana : |
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suicide is horrible, i'm sorry to hear that he did that to himself. i wish you all the best in this hard and confusing time.
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
too bad your parents are nothing like mine. Travanti doesn't actually "live" here legally, but he pays rent and sleeps and eats here. So even though we both work we spend each night together.
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| from
chained-soul : |
|
you're not a dork, Mandy...you're just in love...i'm sure Matt misses you just as much as you miss him...
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| from
emaciana : |
|
ooh! gold digger... that song keeps getting stuck in my head! dammit now it's stuck in there again!
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| from
chained-soul : |
|
Love that song...I've been listening to it for about 2 months now...The CD is good, and I can't believe I am saying that I like Kelly Clarkson...
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| from
chained-soul : |
|
Holy crap...Is your Mom OK?...I'm so glad they caught the bastard, maybe it will help her feel just a little safer...On a happier note, congrats on your 2 year anniversary...Chin up, your Mom will be fine...Enjoy your anniversary!!!...
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
I see you're back to you're old layout. I like it okay I guess. I already wrote this in a letter I wrote you that I'm going to mail soon, but I wanted to note it to you too: Two weeks before christmas, likly on a Saturday we're having a Christmas party here. Present exchanges, food, board games, etc. If there is any way you could come, it would be sooo awesome. ~Pink
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| from
emaciana : |
|
congratS! subway rocks. i also love the new layout
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| from
chained-soul : |
|
congrats, Mandy!!!...Enjoy the cash flow!!!...Love the new layout...
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| from
schutta : |
|
yum!!
ps. your notes link back to the notes page of the place you got the layout from <3
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| from
chained-soul : |
|
Thank you for the lovely note...And for the record, if I knew who this Kevin guy was-I'd beat him within an inch of his life...Remember this: what goes around, comes around...His time will come...I'd still like to kick his ass, though...
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
Heya.. I have a thought. You said you don't talk about your past - and maybe that's your problem. You can trust Matt, right? If you open up to him, tell him your most painful memories, you might find that hole begin to fill. I used to have that "empty" feeling - but I find that I feel "full" when my mind is exactly the opposite of full. The more baggage you hold onto, and can't share, the worse you'll feel.
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| from
button-maker : |
|
Who is Kevin (this is Pink), and what did he do? Feel free to mail me your answer. I got your letter. The third one, yeah! I feel special. The paper in different shapes was cool by the way. So I take it all your recent problems were not with Matt? Who is troubling you? I should go put them in the hospital for you! hugs and kisses, ~Pink
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| from
emaciana : |
|
i'm glad you unlocked. be proud of what you write, take care.
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| from
littlepoo : |
|
please let me in :(
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| from
kitten-12 : |
|
thanx!
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| from
redxarmy : |
|
to be honest dollface, that note is so old I can't remember what it was about. I think tho, it was about her (Noren) being upset that someone would steal her idea for a username or something and me saying that she shouldn't be so mad about it. Thanks for the password <3
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| from
redxarmy : |
|
please? I still lurk around... an awful lot
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| from
emaciana : |
|
you really don't sound like you're in a good place at all. i'm really worried, please try to talk to someone before you do something to hurt yourself...
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| from
dietchick : |
|
i figured it out...thank you! Hope all is well mandy...
Taralynn
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| from
emaciana : |
|
i'd like to keep reading please...
starrysugar@hotmail.com
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| from
savedbyjesus : |
|
hey you've locked up, please may i have a pwd... email it to rachie_b_123@hotmail.com pretty please :) xx
|
| from
dietchick : |
|
Mandy--I dont know how to get in....grrr
Taralynn
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| from
chained-soul : |
|
Mandy...May I please have your password?...I'd love to continue reading...georgias_brat@yahoo.com...Thanks, Ali
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| from
dietchick : |
|
locked aye? Can you send me the password? taralynnbaker@hotmail.com
thanks
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| from
writergrrl88 : |
|
locked? password please, if you don't mind, so that i may continue reading. writergrrl88@yahoo.com. are you okay?
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
Good guess? I thought that it was obvious, actually. lol. So...uh... I never knew that about you. wow. ~Pink
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
That poem would lead me to believe you've just been raped. ~Pink
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| from
emaciana : |
|
did you write that? or where did it come from? it's beautiful and painful all at once.
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| from
dietchick : |
|
omg! Are you alright?
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| from
chained-soul : |
|
OMG, the "wait to die" entry really hit home with me...Something that I'll always remember, yet always try to forget...Did this happen to you, too?...If so, so sorry...It really does scar you for life, no matter how much therapy you receive...Much love, Me
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| from
msjessica : |
|
haha i used to love that girl movie. dominique swain is gorgeous. i'm sure he'll love the persent. xo
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
;) ??? do you answer notes anymore??? (sobs!)
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| from
emaciana : |
|
i just stumbled upon your diary and i'm adding you to my list. take care. xoxo
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| from
chained-soul : |
|
loved the entry about missing penises!!!...also, I love the Lifehouse song, I have it on my computer...glad you're home...
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
No more letters? Awww. Can I mail you at your home address? I just baught some new stationary... and stickers. just for you. lol. Did you get the other letter I sent you?
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
I have sent one. I'll just have to send another.
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
I'm so going to write you. I'm so in love with you even though I don't know you. You have the only diary I even read anymore. tee-hee. :) Lots of kisses! ~Pink
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
Where are you *leaving* to? And why? And are you going to write while you're there? Oh, and about pap-smears, they really are not so bad, in fact it takes around a minute once you've gotten to the room. They press on your stomach and put a small metal rod inside you for a moment, which you can barely feel anyway.
|
| from
foreground : |
|
One more thing...THREE DAYS.
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| from
foreground : |
|
AND AND AND you can borrow my copy of HP if you don't mind waiting until at most the EIGHTEENTH to get it instead of the seventeenth, because I don't know how late on the sixteenth it'll show up because this is Lynchburg and the Post Office is evil here. TRUST ME, MY DAD, HE KNOWS.
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| from
foreground : |
|
You really won't need much cash at all--I think I made do with fifty dollars. AND GIVE THE MONEY BACK TO YO' MAMA, BIATCH. Lisa's given me a bunch of babysitting money--I don't need it now. I never *wanted* it, I just thought I needed it.
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| from
foreground : |
|
He's not going to buy that.
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| from
foreground : |
|
Check yo' mail, biatch. (It's sad, I know, that I get so much enjoyment from announcing, deadpan, things like the above.) Six days!
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
Sounds like your days are going as usual. People ignoring you. Wanting to run away. etc. Don't worry, some day we'll both move out of our parents' houses' and we'll both be okay out there in the world. okay? I just wanted to let you know that I've finally updated my diary. :)
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| from
foreground : |
|
SEVEN DAYS SEVEN DAYS SEVEN DAYS. I've started prepping my family. "The first thing you need to know about Amanda is that she is very tall. The second thing is you're not supposed to call her Amanda." I am also wearing a skirt to the airport. *MWAH*
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| from
foreground : |
|
MARGARET SANGER IS YOUR FRIEND. She is also responsible for getting birth control legalized in the US back in the early 1900s. If you are going to Hollins (or any other women's school) you are going to have to know the Who's Who: Feminists and Other Bitches.
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| from
foreground : |
|
I am making you a MARGARET SANGER IS MY FRIEND! tee shirt.
|
| from
estratto : |
|
Just wanted to say a quick note on the BC you got. The first month I was so sick I thought I was gonna die, but it comes and goes. I also couldn't sleep well either. But all that left. And be careful about taking other medicines with it, such as penicillian, which can alter the effectiveness. There is always a warning on the bottle so just look out. Take care of yourself doll xoxo
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| from
foreground : |
|
My feeling cannot be summed up in a note. They, can, however, be viewed here: http://foreground.diaryland.com/050623_86.html
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| from
foreground : |
|
After federal loans (which are in my name) and the scholarship from Hollins, it's costing about 8K a year for me to go, plus books and shit. Not 30K, *8*. You tell him that from me. The worst thing you could do would be to live at fucking home during college, and you can tell him that from me, too, but maybe you should take out the profanity.
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| from
foreground : |
|
I would like to know the same thing, actually. My cell number is 434.851.0391 and you can call me whenever, even at work (I can carry my cell phone on vibrate, and if I can't answer it right then I will call you back as soon as I've a mo'), even at three am (I'm usually awake) if that's when you can talk. But just fucking let me talk to you.
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| from
raven72d : |
|
No, I don't... Why are you being reclusive even to Noren?
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| from
foreground : |
|
This made me laugh. A lot. You could always call me. I get out of work no later than ten, unless someone drops the honey mustard dressing and we have to re-mop everything. (Oh, yeah, I got a new job. Hence the mopping and the honey mustard sauce.) But I feel special all the same.
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| from
estratto : |
|
I don't want to read you because I know exactly how you feel sometimes. But I have to read you because you know how to put feelings into words so well. Don't stop, whatever you do.
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| from
estratto : |
|
I wish I knew the right words to say to make everything better for you. I want to say so much, but I think it would just fall on deaf ears. I guess all I can say is that I care about you, and I'm here.
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
I wish I could hold you and cry with you. How is Matt?
|
| from
msjessica : |
|
it's fucked when somehting like that happens, death, of some one you're not close to yourself but people around you are affected by. just the guilt, from flirting with it so much and from making such a mockery of your own life. it's fucked. anyway yeah, hi there lucia. congratulations on your great marks! i was so proud of you when i read that. and i wasn't sure if i should say it or not, some strange moral thing but..you've lost a lot of weight darling, in those pictures you most recently sent. you looked beautiful but you did before as well, to me anyway. mwah, your diary continues to be rather intriguing. xox
|
| from
rapethismind : |
|
I love your layout!!! And that song rocks!!! Your notes and profile links are messed up, though. You forgot the "?" before "user=honestliar" on both of them. <3
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
There is something wrong with the link to your notes... I love the layout! I read your last six entries (I had catching up to do)... I wear jeans like everyday, lol.
|
| from
foreground : |
|
If you hadn't said "and bounce around in a circle at the airport," that would have been an exceedingly dirty note. Oh, and we're going to a rock show. You should like that. It's not really my scene, but yeah, it will look like I have a life that way. I'm gonna call you tonight... Love you. Noren.
|
| from
littlepoo : |
|
have you been updating? I keep seeing your name in red but when I click on it it goes back to the entry you wrote on the 15th
|
| from
foreground : |
|
I'm getting a tattoo.
|
| from
recieveher : |
|
password - distance
use your name
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
I liked "100 Strokes", but I never read sex books by male writers, any more than I'd own a porn dvd with male actors in it or go to see band with a male vocalist.
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
I LOVE YOUR NEW LAYOUT, btw, the now&then buttons lead to the design site. *kisses ya*
|
| from
thebuggles : |
|
awesome reaserch paper sweets :) you're the best.
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
You're so interesting..I think I'm addicted.
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
Hey girl. Please don't lock your diary - I'm so lazy, I hate passwords and crap. Reading your diary reminds me of a more tormented, but innocent me. ~Pink
|
| from
foreground : |
|
We need to talk about the idea of you staying a few extra days.
|
| from
pokerface : |
|
heya you, good to finally hear from you after all this time. you stay in contact, ya hear? i don't care what the time difference is, you need me, you contact me, okay? cushty.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
Tell me more about your mail.
|
| from
foreground : |
|
Will you do me a favor, at least, and start keeping a daily list of what you do, what you feel, what you talk about in therapy, and what your moods are like? Effexor made me suicidal, Mandy. So I'm terrified for you, if your thinking about hanging yourself. Call whenever you need to--if I don't answer I will call back. I love you, too.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
"Crazy closet" is a good turn of phrase.
|
| from
foreground : |
|
Remember how I told you to look out for a drastic change in behavoir on Effexor? You are *writing* differently, you sound much much much more destructive... do you feel like it's doing more harm than good?
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
What did you do?
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
Never under any circumstances let anyone hold you "accountable"-- that's a euphemism for "open to punishment".
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
Don't lock things, girl... And what are your therapists doing for you? What exactly does Marfan's *do*? And what do you dream about before the Effexor kicks in?
|
| from
dietchick : |
|
Hi dear~* Although my diary is gone now, i have been reading you for a little over a year or so, maybe longer. If you do happen to lock your diary, look into another site like opendiary.com or bloopdiary.com They are great sites! You can make a new start, a new beginning. Good luck and have fun!
Taralynn
|
| from
foreground : |
|
...if you don't all ready. I really don't think you need any encouragement in that vein (dear god, the puns...). I'm worried about you. I don't like the sound of this. Please, please, I don't care if it's four am, call me if you need to. I am always here, and if I'm not I'm at work.
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
I know how you feel, about editing yourself in your own diary. it doesn't feel right. oh, and about pictures of your bleeding wrist... I would love a whole bunch of pictures of the sort for artistic purposes if you ever decide to do that... hope you don't think I'm a sicko. ~Pink
|
| from
but-im-not : |
|
thank you dear. yes its my former high school english teacher! i know. its beyong hot. and i will be thinking you that day (if it happens....) youre awesome. and thank you for your note. <3.
|
| from
foreground : |
|
Why?
|
| from
chained-soul : |
|
Thank you, Amanda for making me smile...Your words of wisdom are so true...I'm glad you're still here, and thanks for always seeming to know when to make me feel better about myself...I love you so...
|
| from
freakish13 : |
|
What would you think of me now? So lucky so strong, so proud?
|
| from
foreground : |
|
I meant like, chemical smell? Of course, if you were listening to me it might smell like LATEX, so, maybe
|
| from
msjessica : |
|
but why darling? i gave you the password, in the email...didn't you get it? un/original (shh, don't tell anyone)...infidelity is a killer. mwah! xo
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
74 days until your birthday??
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
"Big O" is fun... And I do like aneems...
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
'80s synthpop, ethereal, darkwave, techno/electronica, industrial-dance, art rock, jazz, classical guitar, ambient... Female vocals with only a few exceptions. No male vocals, no...ummm..."urban"/ethnic, no testosterone, no guitar posing, always high fashion, icy and distant, no "soul".
|
| from
foreground : |
|
So basically... he hates everything. Give the Effexor at least a week... but what you described: feeling drowsy, then having someone say you're manic is actually what some drugs did to me, so keep an eye on it. I'm glad you told her about the cutting.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
Ummm... Bloodhound Gang? Isn't that...male vocals...and some kind of hip-hop/rap music? I utterly reject male vocals, and I loathe, abominate, and despise hip-hop, rap, blues, r&b, metal, guitar rock, indie rock, boybands, country, thrash, power pop, classic rock, and grunge.
|
| from
foreground : |
|
I just looked through your notes and it seems I was doing most of my couting down last time as notes to you. So I'm going to continue and start a tradition of overwhelming you with notes. And maybe talking about Johnny Depp a lot, because I did that too last time. My for-you-only theory has altered somewhat--when I next speak with you, I'll explain, but it's actually MORE ironic than it was already. You're going to like it. Anyway, I'm slacking off school work because have I mentioned how much I DON'T CARE. I love you, baby... seventy-four, seventy-four, seventy four.--Noren
|
| from
foreground : |
|
As obnoxiously as possible, seventy-FOUR days. for-you-only is going to get a note from me detailing my "plans"...because making annoying, stupid people (or better yet, annoying *no comma* stupid people) jealous is fun. Do not mention the list.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
count down the days 'til you can hang out with Noren.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
tell me about your plans for Adventures in your future...
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
I don't delete anything because I dislike you-- no. Not at all. I just delete notes where I may need to preserve some...ummmm...discretion.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
why would i dislike you?
|
| from
foreground : |
|
I'm not comforted by that.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
"the man"? i'd never call myself a "man"-- that's far too (1) Grown-Up and (2) creepy sounding. and i hate the idea of anyone ever telling anyone else about me.
|
| from
chained-soul : |
|
i've missed you SO much, i can't even put it into words...i haven't been able to read your diary yet, i'm at my sister's now...thank you so much for the beautiful note...i've thought about you alot since i've beeen absent from diaryland, and hope you are doing well in therapy...much love to you...
|
| from
foreground : |
|
I ate a marshmallow today and it made me think of you. Also--he really shouldn't. I've been telling people that for years.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
i trust noren's judgment.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
The trench along the inside of hipbones is vur' visual, vur' kissable.
|
| from
guitarphreak : |
|
hey...i sent a username and password to yer email!
take care
xoxox
|
| from
foreground : |
|
Oh my god. Your stalker is now so horrifying the whole thing is vaguely amusing.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
hipbones, not hips... but legs are good. always.
|
| from
foreground : |
|
READ MY EMAIL. (And don't let him get you to forgo your panties. Unless Matt likes that kind of thing.)
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
Well, you are crazy! But in a good way. I swear, you need to move to Buffalo and make love to me. :)
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
Legs, plaid uniform mini-kilt, an absence of underwear: what could be more video-worthy?
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
Sounds like a great video for you to be in.
|
| from
foreground : |
|
Also... she's still stalking you? Pfft.
|
| from
foreground : |
|
What, specifically, do you object to about the letter? You're being vague about it. Also, find out if I can pick you up earlier/you stay a few days extra with me. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory comes out, like, the 15th and I want to see it with you.
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
Well, I tend to read your entries every three weeks, and catch up. You're so crazy, dementend, dependant, denial... just like me! I love it. I would cut myself, but I'm a puss. I would throw my food up, I'd love too, but I give head too much to be able to throw up, I've trained myself not to. I would do everything you do - I love secrets, but I'm a blabber mouth! It's like, you're everything I want to be, you do everything I think of doing, but don't. You write like I would write even. I swear Amanda, I'm falling in love with you through your writing. I know it can never happen, because you're straight and all... And you live far away, and besides, I have a boyfriend. But even though I've never met you, when I read your writing I feel like I'm your sister. I could love you so easily. I could be with you. I really could. I swear I laugh as you mention Matt in the same ways I mention Travanti. Strange, I don't know the date I lost my virginity... It was never meaningful to me. pah, mandy, you've sprung me. ~Raederle (Pink)
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
ummmm... being mounted on casters?
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
dorsal fins allow you to swim upstream in a straight line...and to radiate away body heat under the hot Triassic sun.
|
| from
foreground : |
|
Now... if only you'd use them...
|
| from
foreground : |
|
Read my email. I'll call you tonight and explain it, and you'll understand it, if you don't already. And it's not to spite you, darling. I just... like referring *to* you as Amanda.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
Yes, yes. All well and good. But do you have a dorsal fin?
|
| from
foreground : |
|
Deal with it, bitch. (Also, go look at the note left after yours.)
|
| from
freakish13 : |
|
yes, you really are beautiful. you may not know it or even think it but fuck...your words have left me to think you are beautiful.
|
| from
rapethismind : |
|
Okay, your shrink is beyond ignorant. She's just fucking STUPID. No shrink in their right mind would turn down reading a patient's poetry. If I ever offered that to my old shrink (the only good one I ever had) he'd read it in a second. Doesn't she know that's a way of talking to her? Or talking in general and opening up and she's allowed in through that way. Dumb bitch. lol
|
| from
button-maker : |
|
I feel as though I'm reading my own diary when I'm reading yours. I swear I feel just like you do. We should meet someday. (~ for-you-only)
|
| from
orgami : |
|
honest liar that is a good one
a mirror is silvered
negative positive
atom proton
inclusion expulsion
just bored out of my head
looking through everything
before my hour is up
at the public library
so many young people
and the neat usernames are not
open
this voyeurs world is so
different
just words on a screen
still
its fascinating
like turning over flat rocks
in the summer to see what
lurks beneath
all that skitters and skatters
S.
|
| from
sweetkate28 : |
|
i was just wondering if you have a live journal. i mainly read there now, i like like seeing what you have to say.
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
Wow, now going back and basically reading everything I've missed. Damn. Let me repeat myself- you're just like me. You cheat on your boyfriend with someone I assume is your ex, like me. You wonder if you love your current boyfriend, but expect to be with him forever, like me. You want to be hurt, basically raped, like me. wow. You know, we should meet someday... Your not bi-sexual are you? ...? Wow, looking at the dates... you've not been writing much too recently. What's up? ~Pink
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
You... are so amazing to me. I don't know why I stopped reading - lack of time? Suddenly I found time. Your writing draws me in. You're soo much like me - it's just that you take all that I feel on the inside and have the cuts to use it on the outside. I'm saddened though - I feel like my days of depression and pain are ending - and like yours just continue on forever. Or maybe that's just how it is right now - we're all on this roller coaster full of ups and downs - right now you happen to hit a down, and I'm on an up. lots of compassion for a fellow diarylander from Pink
|
| from
but-im-not : |
|
i love you. i just wanted you to know.
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
Thank you for your discretion. My cell phone was replaced by the wonders of insurance... I'm going to ring you up soon.
|
| from
savedbyjesus : |
|
hey, im really sorri ur parents were told, my parents were told i self harmed a while ago, it sucks! and now a teacher at my skool wants to tell my parents im still cutting, but i figure that even if she does my parents they can f**k off cos i dont have to tel them nething and no one can make me talk! xx
|
| from
redxarmy : |
|
you send me pictures and yet refuse to reply to my notes or comments. strange. we used to be such lovers.
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
I hated theropy, they made me go to a couselor, and upped it to a psyco-anallyst when I was in 5th grade. Yeah, it's actually not that bad, but it sux to be required to sit there and talk to a stranger and shit. theropy of any sort pisses me off. it's all a scam. weight theropy, cutting theropy, all of it. it's all bull. anyway. you still read me??? I feel sooo special! You like never leave me notes...anymore. :) Hope all goes well. ~Pink
|
| from
redxarmy : |
|
Have fun in therapy. After I got bored of therapy I just bullshitted my way to freedom. Good Luck.
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
Furthermore, STOP FUCKING CUTTING.
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
I find it amusing that you list "warm showers" on your list of things you like, when it is GODDAMNED FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to get anything remotely like a warm shower in your house.
|
| from
but-im-not : |
|
i know exactly how you feel. and i wont say that itll go away and everything will eventually be okay...because thats not my experience. i just wanted you to know that you arent the only one out there that feels this way. much much love darling. <3 caity.
|
| from
xnotenoughx : |
|
Hun, it's okay to break down. . .but don't limit yourself to some label. You're so much more than that!
|
| from
sweetkate28 : |
|
newsflash. being 18 doesnt equal freedom. im 18 and everything is the same.
|
| from
redxarmy : |
|
a perfect circle deserves to die for their terrible cover of imagine. seriously.
|
| from
xnotenoughx : |
|
You're sweet.
|
| from
littlepoo : |
|
omg amanda I feel the same way. I know I never leave notes or anything but I read you all the time and I've asked you for pics, I don't know if you remember. There's this guy I've been with and I feel like he deserves so much better, I treat him like crap all the time and yeah. I totally feel you with everything, the eating disorder and the cutting and everything, please take care though
|
| from
xnotenoughx : |
|
Why don't you just break up with Matt and go for it with Aaron???
|
| from
xnotenoughx : |
|
I'd be honored for you to check out my diary. *smile* The name is "welcome" and the password is "home". I dunno about interesting. . .dramaful and tiring (from all the drama) is more like it. teehee! xoxox
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
JESUS EFFING CHRIST I LOVE YOU TOO. And I forgot to put JESUS EFFING CHRIST on the list. Fuck.
|
| from
jbthechosn1 : |
|
sweet gifts
|
| from
msjessica : |
|
i know what you mean, very much so, about not having the inspiration to write anymore, without being so sad. it's strange isn't it..and yes, becoming just another teenage girl, with friends and distractions and all the rest. merry christmas miss amanda, and enjoy your new years eve. hmmm a new year starting, i wonder what it will bring. as strange as it is in some ways, i hope it's all happiness and smiles for you, well at least that the smiles outweigh the tears and fresh scars. you're lovely, and what you said about the cat..i feel quite honoured, benny's a lovely name hahaha. well mwah, merry christmas beautiful. xox
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
I will show up with a copy of Harry Potter, provided I can get my hands on two. That's a promise.
|
| from
milyssa : |
|
Hey darling...I am so sorry about Kitten. :( It breaks my heart and I am sure yours is broken, too. My thoughts are with you. ~ M.
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
I highly suggest joining me in counting your extremities every morning, just to make sure you're up to date on what is and isn't there. "Legs(2): check. Toes(10): check. Arms(2): check. Fingers(10): check. Head(1): Ummm...."
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
I was reading your old entries and am interested in what context you spoke to laywers about legal emancipation.
|
| from
lunascorpio : |
|
Isn't that just the strangest feeling?
|
| from
redxarmy : |
|
Punk Chick?
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
Hey, I care.
|
| from
writergrrl88 : |
|
i will just say this -- be careful, you're worth more than you give yourself credit for. ~lita~
|
| from
milyssa : |
|
Amanda...your homecoming pictures are beautiful :) Thanks for sharing!!!
|
| from
dietchick : |
|
O sweetheart--you are a very lovable person. If our so called friends are being mean and nasty to you then that means they arent really your friends....It will be ok...and i love the pics...you are gorgeous.....
Taralynn
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
I did not say he was the fucking antichrist. I said he was the Fucking Antichrist. There is a difference.
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
such a lovely layout image...
|
| from
dietchick : |
|
i would love to see them my email is taralynnbaker@hotmail.com
Taralynn~*
|
| from
raven72d : |
|
the perfectstorm entries are beautiful...
|
| from
leadme : |
|
To be honest, I don't know you and I havn't read much of your diary [yet]. I just wanted to tell you that I am proud of you though that you havn't been cutting yourself lately. You said that in one of your latest entries. Congrats. I'll keep reading! Love, Jen
|
| from
milyssa : |
|
Oh, I most definitely want to see your beautiful self :) newsgyrl@hotmail.com
oh and hey...i'm really happy for you that you have made it so long without bleeding...i know it's rough, but the longer you can hold out between times is worth it...i'm down to very very rarely and i am really proud of myself...even though sometimes i miss it. so, good work! and congratulations on you and matt making it so far :)
|
| from
onecutabove : |
|
I'd like to see your homecoming pics. Your dress sounded awesome, I'm sure you looked great!
|
| from
kah2004 : |
|
hey hun i'd love to see the pics! M1tch0@hotmail.com *hugz* -KAH-
|
| from
littlepoo : |
|
jannypoocakes@yahoo.com :)
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
:P
|
| from
norenhuxley : |
|
You sound like you could use a virtual hug...
so... *hugs virtually*.
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
You know, I used to read a lot of diaries, including yours, and I just realized that I don't anymore. I think it's because you're not upset anymore, and I found you interesting because you seemed always as upset as me... Weird, huh?
|
| from
onecutabove : |
|
Thanks so much for your kind note. It really meant a lot to me to know that I have your support. This whole discovering myself and being open about it thing I've been doing has been really hard for me and it's great to have some feedback from people. So just know that I really appreciated your comment. By the way, I'm really happy for you and Matt. One year is so awesome! I never quite made it that far. I got 2 months shy of it but that was about it. Anyway, thanks again.
|
| from
kah2004 : |
|
hun-- you got a wonderful bf who loves you!! be happy and fight off that "spidey sense" of yours and remember what it feels like when he loves you!! hold that feeling forever!! *hugz* -KAH-
|
| from
jbthechosn1 : |
|
just out of curiosity, how old are you?
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
Hey, there are these users, that came out of no where, rachel-what, compclass and some other people that just happen to be bothering me and Jeremy (sir-jeremy) with their ignorance. I think they found us through another site and made some bogus diaries just to bother us. I'm trying to get random people to bug 'em back. Sometime when your bored, remember this note, okay? Delete this after reading it.
|
| from
for-you-only : |
|
Always a pleasure to read your diary and to see your new layouts. :) -Pink
|
| from
but-im-not : |
|
haha. damn right he is. looks like i got more out of high school than a migraine and five wasted years! (and it rocks my socks as well. hardcore.) <3.
|
| from
secretshame : |
|
well next time write the words "THIS IS A FAKE SUICIDE NOTE FUCKERS!" at the top. in caps. and bold, maybe underline too.
|
| from
redxarmy : |
|
just for future reference... don't kill yourself anyway.
|
| from
dietchick : |
|
hugs
|
| from
but-im-not : |
|
i love you. and i would miss you so much if you ever left. please realize that you make peoples lives better, never worse...and if someone can't realize how beautiful you are, then they are the ones that miss out, and they are the ones that have to deal with the pain of never knowing such a gorgeous person.
|
| from
coppersky : |
|
you better write another entry
|
| from
redxarmy : |
|
don't do it honey. don't ever do it, it's not ever worth it. you can get past this, you're stronger than you think. Love you.
|
| from
suffocatexme : |
|
<3 my heart is with you <3
|
| from
poetsthought : |
|
KESSIE MAY!!! OMG!!! Jack Johnson!! Lucky dawg- my cuz is going to see him here in WA on the 23rd. I, myself, own a copy of "Brushfire Fairytales"... go crazy sweetie!! *hugz* -KAH-
|
| from
life4rent : |
|
I don't know what to say right now, I'm just sitting here hoping to God that you're ok, I'm just hoping and praying you'll be able to read this and tell us all you're ok. I really don't know what to say. <333333333
|
| from
reallyhuman : |
|
seriously
|
| from
reallyhuman : |
|
don't do anything silly. wouldn't like to run out of stuff to read. wouldn't like to miss someone i don't even know.
|
| from
morbidhippie : |
|
darling i didn't even read the whole thing. it made me sad, then angry...you would give him that "satisfaction"? how weak. you know the best thing to do would be to really stick it to him and not let him effect you (or, see him effecting you) as much, and live a beautiful wonderful life (like i know you're capable of)..i don't think you'll do it, you said at the end this is such bullshit. but love, ahh...just don't. and you said something about it being because you've caused Hm so much pain? no, bullshit honey..you probably know that, deep down....i'll stop because if i don't i'll ramble on and on and get all angry and want to shake you..you know i even grabbed my phone when i started reading then realised how pointless that was..the whole no number/different country thing...heh, darling...love. be safe. get through this. xox
|
| from
secretshame : |
|
hi amanda. haven't left a note for you in ages. don't know whether to take your last entry seriously or not, so i will. the reason i am always drawn to your diary is because of your relationship with your father. you see, it is exactly the same as mine. there are no differences, at all from what i sense. every word you say is something i've said (or needed to say) before. in fact, i've wrote that suicide note before. with the same sentiment. turning it around, to make him look good. because i don't want to hurt him, as much as he's hurt me. what i'm getting at here, is, THINGS HAVER CHANGED FOR ME. I"M OLDER AND THINGS ARE BETTER. I NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE. BUT THEY ARE, AND THEY WILL BE FOR YOU, IF YOU GIVE IT A CHANCE. that i know. once you get out of school, things are really, really different. even if you don't feel like an adult, you start acting mroe like one and the more you feel grown up, the more they treat you like one. it's strange, i can't explain it, but you stop CARING so much. i sort of becamse smarter than my dad in this last year, and i think that just gives me a heads up in the 'arguments'. please, don't try and kill yourself. at least try doing the running away thing first, or tell a school councellor. it's drastic, but it's not life ending. anything is better than the latter. i just wanted to tell you that if you wait a while, things change. the waiting's hard, but worth it. hope you're okay! <3
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bleak-horror : |
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nice username <3
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mhtdtb87 : |
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hey. you dont know me but i ran across your diary... through your bf's, actually, who happens to be in the "born in 87" ring that i found under my friends rings... which... all of the above info is irrelevant and i dunno why i typed it but anyways..., your diary is interesting... it reminds me of a cpl of my friends.... so thats cool. later.
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morbidhippie : |
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oh well, i guess it could've been both, i didn't think of that. but it was meant as the other amanda..i like this template though, by the way, you've had it before haven't you? i think i prefer it to the one you had briefly just before, it was nice but a little tricky to focus on and read. and i Will call you Lucia from now on, i thought of that myself. and yeah, password etc is changed, but it's just reversed, nothing big..i just want to lock someone out who's a non diaryland person (that would be my little benny/concretye junglist). mwah..you're in grade eleven..your school year starts now? bizarre..i am listening to avril lavigne. it's silly because i have to hear this album every afternoon at work, and you would think that that would be enough..but, well it kind of makes me crave more..to avoid this being a ridiculously large note, i'll leave now. bye! xox
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bloodrunsred : |
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Tell me I didn't read anything into that entry. Please. Or tell me what's going on, because right now you've scared the shit out of me just because I don't know anything for sure.
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redxarmy : |
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I thought being in love was supposed to be a happy thing?
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| from
redxarmy : |
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welcome home darlink
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| from
morbidhippie : |
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p.s. new template! and sleep ins baby, they're fantastic. oh you, you're great. one day, maybe years away it will just happen that we're in the same country. we'll sit down. and talk, for hours. years from now. goodnight. xo
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morbidhippie : |
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mmm you show me so much love, i think you're wonderful (not for that reason). mwah, it's late, i'm not especially talkative right now but just..saying thank you for such a lovely note and hello, the girl from tomorrow is thinking of you, miss amanda jo. mwahmwah, sleep beautifully/have a fantastic day. xoxox
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redxarmy : |
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no fucking way! my anniversary with bobby is october first as well! <3
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nonpliable : |
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hey. my new name is but-im-not. thanks for following, it means alot to me. <3.
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decevante : |
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intermittent?
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| from
redxarmy : |
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if anything ever happens to you I'll be absolutely heartbroken. and not just </3 heartbroken either. for real.
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milyssa : |
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Amanda...I just want to say that I'm really sorry. Your entry (July 27th) has made me so sad (although the writing is wonderful...you have quite a talent). You don't deserve any of that, and I hope that you will be able to get away someday, and I hope that you will be able to be happy. You deserve happiness and all the joy that comes with it. You're beautiful.
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fleshandbone : |
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<i>"I've always been such a weird girl. Even when I was little. Always playing games of suicide and abuse with my dolls. Asking about death all the time."</i>
me too.
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guitarphreak : |
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yay THE USED!
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| from
redxarmy : |
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the thing about boyfriends leaving for a month (I find at least) is that it's such a long time that you can adjust to their being gone and then it's not so bad. Like if he were gone for only a week or two you'd live in a state of constant anticipation.. or at least thats how it was for me. <3 good luck!
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lieber : |
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you could always masturbate dahling ;) <3
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reallyhuman : |
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fair enough. personally i couldn't stand it, i'd be constantly paranoid about breaking or something. I'm quite a physically strong person, so being really thin would make me feel powerles and i don't know, it would really scare me.
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life4rent : |
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That sounds so cool, I'd love to travel round europe one day. I do live in europe but that doesn't matter! Is he going soon? <333
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lieber : |
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be vary wary my dear, of naming your car after a tragic character. I named my one car after one of my favorite characters in a book who gets killed and, well, I totalled that car when I skidded on a patch of ice and hit a tree. <3 I will be 18 in a few months and I also wish to elope. I will probably end up settling for moving away and in with some boy lover <3333
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nonpliable : |
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sorry this is so late. but happy birthday dear. i like the plan of you eloping when you turn 18. only two more years until you can do whatever you like. then it'll be all good. <3.
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life4rent : |
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I hope you don't mind me asking but where is Matt going in Europe? <333
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reallyhuman : |
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oh happy birthday too!!
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| from
reallyhuman : |
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it's really quite funny that you like collar bones so much because i just cannot stand them. My friends torment me by pointing at mine and poking them. Meh. It's weird, they just look so uncomfortable and out of place.
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rapethismind : |
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You should do it! (Elope.) And happy birthday! I believe I sent you an email on that subject. :) Sixteen years old...*reminisces like an old parent*...ahh, those were the best/worst days of my life. =Ţ
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suffocatexme : |
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happy birthday doll! <3
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| from
lieber : |
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happy sweet sixteen babe! <333333+10
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kah2004 : |
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happy *16th* birthday sweetie!! hope its fun & sunny! -KAH-
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| from
life4rent : |
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Happy Birthday hun. Have a good day. <333
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writergrrl88 : |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! <3 ~lita~
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lieber : |
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you know me babe, I always come crawling back for more.
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morbidhippie : |
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well..ahem. you'll know how this is relevent.
i love my country
by which i mean
i am indebted joyfully
to all the people throughout its history
who have fought the government to make right
where so many cunning sons and daughters
our foremothers and forefathers
came singing through slaughter
came through hell and high water
so that we could stand here
and behold breathlessly the sight
how a raging river of tears
cut a grand canyon of light
yes, i've bin so many places
flown through vast empty spaces
with stewardesses whose hands
look much older than their faces
i've tossed so many napkins
into that big hole in the sky
bin at the bottom of the atlantic
seething in a two-ply
looking up through all that water
and the fishes swimming by
and i don't always feel lucky
but i'm smart enough to try
cuz humility has buoyancy
and above us only sky
so i lean in
breathe deeper that brutal burning smell
that surrounds the smoldering wreckage
that i've come to love so well
yes, color me stunned and dazzled
by all the red white and blue flashing lights
in the american intersection
where black crashed head on with white
comes a melody
comes a rhythm
a particular resonance
that is us and only us
comes a screaming ambulance
a hand that you can trust
laid steady on your chest
working for the better good
(which is good at its best)
and too, bearing witness
like a woman bears a child:
with all her might
born of the greatest pain
into a grand canyon of light
i mean, no song has gone unsung here
and this joint is strung crazy tight
and people bin raising up their voices
since it just ain't bin right
with all the righteous rage
and all the bitter spite
that will accompany us out
of this long night
that will grab us by the hand
when we are ready to take flight
seatback and traytable
in the upright and locked position
shocked to tears by each new vision
of all that my ancestors have done
like, say, the women who gave their lives
so that i could have one
people, we are standing at ground zero
of the feminist revolution
yeah, it was an inside job
stoic and sly
one we're supposed to forget
and downplay and deny
but i think the time is nothing
if not nigh
to let the truth out
coolest f-word ever deserves a fucking shout!
i mean
why can't all decent men and women
call themselves feminists?
out of respect
for those who fought for this
i mean, look around
we have this
yes
i love my country
by which i mean
i am indebted joyfully
to all the people throughout its history
who have fought the government to make right
where so many cunning sons and daughters
our foremothers and forefathers
came singing through slaughter
came through hell and high water
so that we could stand here
and behold breathlessly the sight
how a raging river of tears
is cutting a grand canyon of light
(-ani difranco ; grand canyon)
you really should listen you know. on a similair topic, see self evident..http://www.danah.org/ani/SoMuchShouting/SelfEvident.html
but..yes, all that aside. darling, your mumma..well, i see alot of the words i was thinking have already been said on this page, but honestly my dear time warp friend, sincerest hopes that she is ok and (for once) that you're just being..you know, paranoid. shit..you've gotta listen to some ani my dear. if you email me your postal address, when i get enough spare money, i will send you some. mwah. you're lovely aren't you..well yes, you are. i like it. goodnight..or rather, goodmorning? xoxox
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writergrrl88 : |
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i'm sorry that you're in a position to have to wonder if she's sick or not. i sincerely hope she's not - that your doctor is an idiot or just having a bad day. maybe your mother just has migraines or something and just needs a bottle of pills and some sleep. let's hope so. but even in a worse case scenario, life goes on - trust me, it does (even when you don't want it to). my mom died of lung cancer in november. i was there when she was diagnosed. i'll graduate university in december this year, and she won't be there. i live with my father who wants to be referred to by his first name and considers himself my housemate, not a parent. but life goes on. best wishes - and hopefully your mother has a headache problem and a stupid doctor that can be cured with a bottle of pills and a referral to a different doctor. ~lita~
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bloodrunsred : |
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For what it's worth, I've said a prayer to "Whoever might be listening" for your mom. I'm thinking about her, and sending the best of thoughts. I love you.--Noren
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| from
guitarphreak : |
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-hugs-
i hope your mom is doing well..
take care...
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
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"And my mommy bought me tampons."<--Best (read:funniest) sentence to ever grace the web pages of your diary. And OH-MY-FUCKING-GOD, I love how you are stealing away with all my mathods of taking the name of God in profane vanity. But Jesus-effing-Christ, you need to get at least one or two of your own. I think creative sinning carries less of a weight than uncreative sinning... :P
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| from
raven72d : |
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Whatever was the "cop story" about? And the photo of you at for-you-only is lovely.
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
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I need to talk to you. About what to do when someone banters around the L-word and about something else, referenced in my diary.
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
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Hello, it took you and Meris that long to get around to me?! You complete and utter bitch (who I adore still, but whatever...), how dare you! I'm wearing the mascara and lip gloss you gave me right now (and I wore it on my date, too, in which the latter came off. There has been definite improvement since we discussed that... *giggle*). Love you to death, even if you two practically ignored me--Noren. PS: We need to talk about Hollins for a long time, as I have changes of heart every forty-five minutes.
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the-mermaid : |
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Hallo. Apparently, I am no good at this note-leaving business. But, yes. We are clones, or so you and Noren say. And the sharing of self-destructive habits is very strange. So there, don't feel hurt, I'm just not down with the diaryland ettiquite.
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morbidhippie : |
|
hmm yes my love, very much intentional i fear. i'm sure it's only temporary though..i'm sorry. i'm going to keep writing though..i'll let you know when things become visbile again. did you not discover faketragic? xox
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morbidhippie : |
|
ah! yes, the masturbation conversations..fabulous aren't they! dangerous though, one of those conversations is how i've gotten into this muddle of expecting a tap on my window at 3am on wednesday..ha, yeah, fabulous..feels like a booty call. and yet, semi romantic. mwah, all my love to you too darling xox oh, and you know you have to find a way of posting pictures of the dress, or rather you in the dress would perhaps be nicer. xo
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
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It's masturbation... no "e". And I am in the same boat--no tampons. Which massively sucks. it turns out I have phone/comp priveledges after all. And Karen and Veronica say "thanks" for the droopy boob comment.
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| from
suffocatexme : |
|
you imagined yourself dead in your casket in the ground...did you ever imagine yourself 10 years from now away from your dad living your own life. married with children (if thats what you want). did you ever think about if youre dead you cant see the happiness thats around your family, friends, and the world. you wouldnt even be able to help them void out the sorrow and replace it with happiness because you are around anymore. you wont be able to be held by your prince charming ever again because you thought nothing good would come out of living just because your father pushed further and further down. i think about these things day in and day out and honestly these are the reasons i live out the day. i dont want to miss out on the good and im willing to sacrifice pain to see happiness one day. im not quite sure how old you are but just think in a few years you will be an adult and able to go out into the world and be your own person without anyone holding you back or telling you what you can and cant do...well maybe just the law would do that but fuck that...honey, be who you are no matter how much it hurts because in the end your reward will be eternal happiness. <3
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| from
suffocatexme : |
|
thank you for your comment. you are much more beautiful than i can ever be. just curious, what made you come to that conclusion..?
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
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ANd please delete my last not immediately upon reading it. There is a logical explanation for all of this... and it makes me look like a backstabber, but... it's complicated logic.
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| from
morbidhippie : |
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oh..thankyou. xox
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
|
Hi. I've been hanging out with Shla since Saturday night and so have not been home. I don't have your # as my mom's cell phone is in Philidelphia with her... so if you call and I'm home we can chat... I want to hear about Matt. I"M GOING TO SEE FIVE FOR FIGHTING ON FRIDAY *spaz*. The boy who got us our table at lunch today totally checked out Karen and Veronica... but I missed it and therefore did not get to say something snide and pissy back at him... Shla told me afterward what had happened. It was funny. Love you... Noren
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bloodrunsred : |
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Oh yeah, more importantly, eat something.
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
|
Hon, I failed my physics exam (that's one-fourth of my grade) and got a D in history for this marking period. And my freshman year I made straight C's for the whole year... one marking period of B, C, and D's in your sophomore year isn't gonna kill your GPA, and you got better than that... and plus, they never see the individual marking periods, just the semester grades. (And all they really care about is junior and senior year... they told me so.) Tell your dad I said that. And the Hollins flyer on the wall is effing dumb. Love you to bits... Noren
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| from
xvampdoll : |
|
buying an avril cd would make me want to cut myself <3
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
|
Jesus-Fucking H-Christ, there is nothing amusing about thinking you might have been pregnant a month ago. Can't you just jack off or something?! If I lived in Illinois I'd beat the shit out of you right now, because I actually hit today: Ididn't take my muscle relaxants last night. BEHAVE. Love--Me.
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| from
rapethismind : |
|
I know EXACTLY how you feel about not being able to be as hardcore as you were before. I used to be SO GOOD at it...I didn't even realize it...and now I do and it's so hard and it kills me.
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
|
Go to a doctor. Your ear is probably infected, and a round of antibiotics will get you in the clear. "Unbelievable pain" in a piercing...is never anything but a bad sign.
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| from
rapethismind : |
|
You know, chances are you will die from something common, like you said. I don't know much about marfans, but with the fact that you're in an age where they can treat it so well and all that, you're probably so much better off than most of your relatives were.
Do you know how old you were in those dreams? Just wondering :)
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| from
nonpliable : |
|
you definitely need to if its something that excites you. it was completely amazing. i think maybe the best thing ive done yet.
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
Marfans sounds like... I don't know, but it makes me think about things... It's such a big thing in your life. There is nothing in mine I can even come up with to compare it with.
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
OH MY GOD!!! I just stumbled along your boyfriend's diary without knowing it was your boyfriend!!! I'm like, "okay, this is interesting," and then it has a link that says, "my girl" and I clicked it and it led to your diary, and I'm omg! ;)
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| from
beatrixkiddo : |
|
Hey huh, I really hope that your aunt is going to be alright. I can't even imagine what it's like to be in a situation like that since no one in my family has ever been really sick. I really hope that she pulls through. You seem to be going through alot right now, and you don't need or probably want anymore pain in your life...no one does. I don't really know what Marfans is or DNR...maybe I should look it up....Well anyways, my prayers are with you. Good luck with everything :)
Much Love
~*Des
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
Wow, just read your past few entries. You make me greatful for my father, who is bugging me right now.
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| from
sharpsecret : |
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calm down angel u dont need to do this <3
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| from
beatrixkiddo : |
|
Oh man...I'm so sorry for what you're going through...You're probably a really beatiful young lady. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Your dad is very harsh...well, he seems like a jack-ass. I really know what that's like. I grew up in a household where I got hit with anything from belts to tree branches...My dad was crazy. I know I can't say that "everything's going to be ok" but I just wish you the best. I hope you try to not cut yourself. I won't tell you not to because with what you're going through, you have a good excuse. I wish you the very best in everything that you do, and on a lighter note,have fun in choir!!
much love -Des
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| from
rapethismind : |
|
oh please IM me on AIM or email me or something! I wish you wouldn't cut! Do what you feel you need to do, but if you want to try talking first, I'm here, okay? My AIM SN is AnorexicApple and my email is btwindowpane@yahoo.com. *hugs*
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| from
reallyhuman : |
|
I'm sure that your boyfriend doesn't think that you're ugly.... You're right, your dad has no right to be saying things like that. He's a bastard and if my dad said anything like that to me, I'd be on a bit of a cutting spree myself. But you don't have anything different, so if I were you I'd just ignore it and look past it. What he says doesn't matter because it isn't true. Anybody who says you're ugly doesn't know anything, because your writing is beautiful. I don't know what you look like, but I'm sure that even if you looked like a walking corpse you'd be beautiful. At least to Matt and the people who love you. Annie.
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| from
portraits : |
|
'So whatever spree I was on, with not cutting, keeping my blood on the inside. Thats officially over.' yup. it seems i'm bleeding at the drop of a hat these days. hmm it says this is from portraits..which is a little weird..i'm feeling much more morbidhippie than portraits right now..eek, doesn't matter right, it's still..the same person. it's late, and i'm going to leave you a long note because i never have before and because..i need to be getting something out but i'm not even ging to sit down and think about what i would write in a diary of any description about right now. what a night. what a day and night actually..i had an almost perfect day, just absolutely beautiful. my 2 favourite beautiful people and i spent the whole day together, op shopping..we bought a box of plates just so we could smash them. i got silverchairs neon ballroom album for a dollar..one dollar. amazing isn't it. i see you're quoting silverchair in your little diary title thing..i used to love hat song when i was..whoa, maybe 14..was thinking about it maybe 2 days ago, i haven't heard it for years. miss amanda...tonight my perfect day got ruined. it shouldn't have..i shouldn't have let something like that ruin it for me..so i come into my home and then my wrists are all bloody and cut up. on such a beautiful happy day. one little thing and it all goes to shit. so pathetic..pathetic plus even. and then..he apologises in an msn conversation, for not being fair, for being rude to me the last couple of WEEKS and..i'm glad he did because i'm mor than deserving of that apology i think but..it doesn't mean anything really. my friend miss bek told me her mum used to always so that you should only apologise if you'll never do the thing again. but he'll do it again. i know he will. i should just stop putting up with it really. but no...i won't. you watch..he'll dump me..even though i should've probably dumped him awhile ago. eek, how depressing. this album is great. you're in america..here i am in australia. i live in a place called hervey bay, in the state of queensland. he's too beautiful for me. he knows i don't deserve all that he is and thats why he thinks it's ok to be an asshole..to do the only come when he's looking for sex thing and masquerade it behind occasional pretty words that i hold onto as though they are what keeps me alive, not breathing. it's disgusting. miss amanda. a long note. you're beautiful. i hope you're..what would you be doing now? it's 11pm here, i've no idea what time it would be where you are...you could be..at school? i don't know....but i hope you're enjoying whatever you're doing, i hope it's just beautiful. sorry about this pointless me whinging note.xoxox
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| from
sweetkate28 : |
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my dad likes to pull on my stomach. and he calls it chub. its mostly skin, but to him its imperfection. i know how you feel
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| from
deadend-doll : |
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Because you are beautiful, morethenyouknow.
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| from
xvampdoll : |
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my mum calls me fat all the time. (and then denys it of course) I think it's a new parenting fad.
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| from
fleshandbone : |
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You know, I thought I was the only one who ever had a parent do something to intentionally make me angry. My father used to do it to me all the time as a teenager; that's very interesting that it happened to someone else.
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| from
rapethismind : |
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125. Still thinner than me. :D
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| from
suffocatexme : |
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i really love that buddy jewell song like whoa...just thought i would let you know..<3
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| from
onlyuandme : |
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Hi :) I have been reading you for awhile, so I thought it was time to add you to my list :) Thanks for the note :)
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| from
for-you-only : |
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I think you might think too much. I have that problem, with the thinking too much. Maybe that's why I feel I can relate to you.
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| from
for-you-only : |
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Spooning is difficult. To make it work best you should pull your upperbody a little bit away from him and have him pull you down from your shoulders.
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| from
reallyhuman : |
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Well, despite my constant search for a deeper meaning to life, I am a very logical person. This makes it a lot more easy for me to believe in something that is at least partially backed by scientific evidence than something that relies merely in faith. Maybe that's a fault in me, but I can't really help what I belive. As for my writing, I have to say that I'm quite flattered that you think that. I always assumed that you only really read me for a laugh or something. I don't know. Well anyway, I love your writing too. Be flattered, you're one of the very few diaryland diaries that I can bear.
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| from
for-you-only : |
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My bf is the same way w/ the self-injury stuff - I got into the habit of digging my nails into my skin so deep that they left big scars. This bothered the crap out of Jeremy and I just could not see why. So he asked me, "would you want to see me hurting myself?" and I thought about it, and I would be upset if I saw that. So I stopped. I'm not saying you should, but it's a sign that Matt cares
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| from
poetsthought : |
|
yeah about the period-- i had mine for almost 2 years before i told my mom-- mine was so freaking irregular that i only had it like once ever 2 or 3 months... and you should try playtex b/c plastic is MUCH better than cardboard!! happy... hunting... -a poet's inner thoughts
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| from
for-you-only : |
|
Hey, if I have not already, or if I have, let me do it again: I congradulate you on finally fucking. But, yeah, other than that I (your stalker) was wondering if you would do a review for my diary in exchange, I'll do one for you, and then we each add an entry with the each other's review and a link to their diary. It's a way to help keep reader's circulating, and it's interesting and fun. ;) Write me back when you get a chance.
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| from
nonpliable : |
|
your newest entry describes how i felt for a long time. why the hell should i fight with him about this when he wanted me to tell him in the first place? self destruction and self harm, no matter what form, is a way of life, and we have a right to do what we want without getting grief. i just warn you, i lost my relationship because i wouldnt change. not saying that you will... but just be careful...eh? <3 caity.
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
|
If you can feel a tampon, it's not up far enough... which means a) it's a fucking pain, and b) it doesn't always work as well. Only the first third of your vagina has nerves, so if you can get it in properly you can't feel it. Get the mini ones to start with, and just change them every two hours until your better at it.
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| from
for-you-only : |
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Yo, I just read your last few entries, *pound*, I am so proud of you - you know I only came durring sex ONCE, and that was about a month ago. Your lucky. Oh, and LP rocks fricking ass.
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| from
life4rent : |
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I don't know why but I was going through my list of people who have me on their favs list and reading the comments they've written on me and when I got to your's I was utterly shocked and dare I say it quite delighted/excited to find the words "I love you." underneath my name. I can't understand why you would love me darling but hey who am I to judge? Anyway I don't think I've ever left you a note before which I'm quite ashamed of because you are such a great read. Anyway thanks again gorgeous. <333
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chained-soul : |
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I LOVE that song!!!...On a whim about 4 months ago, I bought the Smallville soundtrack, and it's on there...I could listen to it all day and still feel a rush...
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bloodrunsred : |
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Did you really ask me why I'm upset, Mandy, or did I make that up? Don't ask me insensitive crap like that, and don't tell me it was cruel without saying it was fucking honest. Sometimes I think you refuse to contemplate suffering that doesn't relate to you personally on a deep level, and I am immensely offended by your note--maybe I'm overreacting, but that's just too fucking bad for you. Maybe that's why I'm such an anomaly to you, because you don't understand it. But I think you act selfish in your perception of the world, and I really don't want to have to hear about in over something that I understand because I don't have the bias you do. And yeah, I'm talking about your religion, because I think it's made you fucking closed-minded. I am fucking pissed at you, because I don't need or want to hear your refusal to open your eyes about something that has completely ripped me apart, that has kept me in an emotional wasteland. Yeah it's fiction-- it's a lie, but lies are beautiful, and they're more real and honest sometimes than the truth. That's not my idea, that's Tim O'Brien's, a novelist you ought to get better acquainted with. And I'm most definitely going to reconsider the wisdom in saying this stuff in this fashion to you, but I won't be sorry, because it damn well needed to be said. I love you, you know that, but hell--I can't just leave you with your fucking blinkers of righteous naivety blocking out so much. And your new layout sucks worse than the last one--Noren
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green-haze : |
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Heyo! If you want me to sort out some linkies i can do that much, but images intimidate me :D feel free to send the html to jasonwadeswife@hotmail.com, and wahey! Lifehouse lyrics :D laters dude :)
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wire-ending : |
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the thing about that pissed me off was how they had some guy giving announcements before the show and during commerical breaks saying there are alternatives and cutting is not the answer blah blah. it was stupid as hell
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xvampdoll : |
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tis not true! my boy and I have wholesome movie nights all the time :P
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itskillingme : |
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I saw your comment for me in your profile and I just wanted to say thank you. It made me smile :) take care, love. xoxo.
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fsdesigns : |
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YOUR IMAGE WILL BE WORKING ON APRIL 4th [TOMORROW]. DON'T CHANGE YOUR LAYOUT!!!
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bloodrunsred : |
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It being okay doesn't mean go do it again, at any rate. So says the unkissed virgin with an extremely dirty mind. My mom says it's cool about you coming in August. Behave yourself. Love you--Noren
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bjornthedark : |
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i meant jealous AND angry by the way, sorry
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bjornthedark : |
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hey i've been reading your diary for a bit now. you really need to stop taking the losing your virginity thing so hard. i almost feel angry that you can care so much about it and i can't
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life4rent : |
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life4rent - comments: I love you. *blushes* thank you my darling. <333
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xvampdoll : |
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was it good? was it worth it?
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chilefuckup : |
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Hey,I'm Ethan. I have reading you for awhile. You're are really interesting and a good writer. I am glad that you have a good boyfrend. I know what it is like to be in love. I love my girlfriend Jessica. Oh, she is onecutabove. She is great. So I can relate. I just wanted to say that and I wish you good luck with matt.I want to keep reading if you don't mind. You should email me sometime. It would be nice to talk to someone like me for once. All I have here is losers. My email is ebichadale@universitylake.org. Please email me. Good luck.
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for-you-only : |
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Hey, I finally got up to your latest entry. I noticed that in one of them, you said, "Pink seems to be obessesed with me," or something like that - I laughed, and so did my boyfriend. Question - how do you enjoy giving head??? Do you just like the taste? Oh, another question - How do you find coke more acceptable than sex? ...? *write me back!*
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milyssa : |
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the picture you emailed of you and the boy is BEAUTIFUL :) You two look so sweet together. I'm glad he makes you happy (but i love the diary entries, happy OR sad, so keep writing!).
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deathletter : |
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would like you a password princess? Lol, the name is trouble and the password is breathing.
xoxo
-Deathletter
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mwah- : |
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must be a special boy
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suffocatexme : |
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the picture i have of you in my head is beautiful. <3
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invisibledon : |
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Sorry to hear that you didn't make it on the lent thing with the cutting. Don't be hard on yourself for that - there are worse things
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sweetkate28 : |
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dont ever feel guilty or ashamed of the love you guys share. ive been reading you for a while, and frankly, you deserve it.
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invisibledon : |
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you can make it through the cutting thing for lent
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coppersky : |
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i'm adding you to my faves because... well, i don't know, i just am.
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suffocatexme : |
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thank you doll...<3
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for-you-only : |
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I'm laughing right now. I just got to this entry about your friend losing her virginity at 15... Wow. Where do you live??? In suburb Canada?? The average girl in Buffalo loses it between 14 and 16, and man... Make me feel bad, I was 12... Hope that doesn't make you look down on me.
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for-you-only : |
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I liked your pictures by the way. I hope to see you on IM soon. I just got to the entry called "5 questions," I'd like to be interveiwed. ;) It seems like a fun process.
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for-you-only : |
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I feel so much more informed. My e-mail adress is pitifulbarbie@aol.com. :)
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reallyhuman : |
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oh and i just wanted to say as well, i didn't mean to sound patronising at all when i said that, i was mocking myself, not you. i just meant that i felt like doing a bit of "good" whatever that means.
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reallyhuman : |
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aw give me a break! i just let go of the whole soul saving thing! anyhow, i say live and let live, i don't believe in god as such (although i don't think it's impossible) and i'm entitled to live that way, and to believe whatever it is that i truely believe. if that gets me cast into hell, then that's something that i'll endure for my freedom. because that's something i value, and something that god (according to the christians anyway, i don't know which religion you are, but i'm assuming a christian) gave to us anyway.
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for-you-only : |
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Wow, so you can't leave links in notes. I tried to yesterday, or something, but yeah, the address is there. Oh, you have this entry called "Ana;" I just read it, and I am SO lost. Who or what is Ana? Does that stand for something?
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for-you-only : |
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<a href="http://for-you-only.diaryland.com/Honestliar.html">Link</a> to a page for you.
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for-you-only : |
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Wow, you don't get very many notes. Neither do I. Anyway, I've gotten a lot further in your diary. I know I got a long way to go before I get to anything recent, but I wanted to comment on something my boyfriend once said. We were at my 15th birthday party, and he was holding me on arm and this girl who about 60 pounds over weight (maybe not as much as 60lbs, but a bit) and he was talking about how in the arm with her how he had so much more to hold on to, and that he liked that. As long as someone is not huge, then they are not ugly. ;) I'd like to see a picture of you sometime.
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for-you-only : |
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I've gotten to the entry called "carving" now. I'm just going to read them all bit by bit. I find myself agreeing with how you talk about cutting, except like I said, my pain tolerence is low, my subconcious stops me, but if I do it quick, before I can think, I love it. Anyway, stop with a fat! How much do you weigh anyway?
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mwah- : |
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in reply to your note: I'm sure I fool around just as much as you do if not more. my boy and I used to fool around a lot but now we spend quite a bit of time just being together and cuddling and it's still very nice. as long as you're not fooling around with more than one guy at the same time I can't say I dissaprove (that would be hypocritical) but as far as actual sex goes.. I personally wouldn't go there. tooo risky on so many levels.
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mwah- : |
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no blowjobs for me but I still had a fun valentines with bobsey. I've tried to go down on him but.....ew.
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bloodrunsred : |
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Noren no longer likes Rooney, because of a long drawn out thing I'm too distraught over to talk about. Taylor Locke can fucking bite me, the stuck-up fuckwitting bastard of a sell-out.
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for-you-only : |
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Hey, I'm starting your diary from the beginning, and I've read the first five I think. I never had the guts to cut myself, I'm very sensitive to pain, however, I have this habit of biting or scratching myself until I break the skin, once I see blood, I stop and I just cry... It's strange. Anyway, stop saying your fat, there IS such thing as being too skinny, and I'm betting from the way you talk you are too skinny. However, working out and gaining muscles is better for you, and makes you look a healthy size, even if you virtually no fat on your body. ;)
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mwah- : |
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I didn't know good girls snorted coke and did pills was all....
ps I turned them back on (the notes) just for you.
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mwah- : |
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you used to be such a good girl.
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sweetgirl03 : |
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im glad that u feel u can write about such things as u do..but im sad for u as well...
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sharpsecret : |
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thats great :) someone that can look after u,u deserve to feel this happy and warm inside u really do :) xx
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lilgirl-lost : |
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eh.. i'm a random reader. your last entry about your boyfriend.. so passionate, so honest, so... ugh, makes me nostalgic for days gone by lol.
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reallynormal : |
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hey, just leaving a note to say that i actually meant to write an entry a while back about the exact same thing when a girl i hate's father died and how strange death is and stuff, but i couldn't really find the words, so yeah, just wanted to say i kind of feel the same way about death and thanks for articulating my thoughts. i hope i don't forget anyone who dies and i hope that when i do, i'm not forgotten.
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writergrrl88 : |
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i know what you mean, about people not staying sad. my mom died of cancer. they didn't tell me there was a funeral. i didn't take time off work or school. but i wore black for a week, as a statement. that's not the point. i think about my mother all the time, no matter what i'm doing. i think about two people who i was friends with who have died. i think about them every day, and i wonder why other people don't. you should miss people when they're gone, and say all you can to them while they're alive.
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bloodrunsred : |
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I meant to say: I think Alice Walker was one of the first-- if not the first-- black women to win the Pulitzer Prize.
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bloodrunsred : |
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The Color Purple is a classic because (You ought to have known I would instantly inform you of this after you asked why it was a classic, so just deal with it) it was the first novel to be written the way deep south African Americans really talk. Try reading it out loud (and adopt a southern accent if you can bare it for a few minutes) and you'll see how accurate it is. But then you don't live in the South, so it might just sound weird. But trust me. If you lived in Lynchburg for your whole life you'd probably sound similar. Additionally, it won the Pulitzer Prize, and I think Alice Walker was one of the first-- if not the first-- to win the Pulitzer Prize. And that kinda sets you up for classis status, especially because it wasn't given to her just because she was a black woman. The girl can write. And also because it was honest, and it rang true to the human condition, and the end is fulfilling. And if you really need one more paragraph in your paper, talk about the fact it became a Spielburg movie with Oprah Winfrey in it. Filler for that paragraph--A book about black Christian women was directed by a white Jewish man. That would be an even better introduction than filler though. Because it's always good to open a paper with irony. It does get better, and I'm pretty sure no one gets through college anymore without having to read it, so you're kinda stuck anyway, kiddo. Love you.--Noren
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bloodrunsred : |
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Hey, I'm sorry about ditching out...but AOL has been really sucky lately. I lost one diary entry the other day three times before I just decided to give it up. Give the Color Purple a few more pages before you ditch out. It really is a beautiful book, and there's this great quote that goes something like this: "I think God gets pissed off when you don't notice a field with the color purple in it." That's not nearly as well said as Alice Walker writes it, but you get the idea. Also, my college professor said that Alice Walker said the color purple had nothing to do with the fact that it's the "gay color". Anyway, it's probably too late to call tonight or I would. And about the other day--I'm sorry I upset you, and maybe I pushed too hard. It's just that it hurts me to see someone as wonderful and beautiful as you hurting herself. I love you, baby. Noren.
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bloodrunsred : |
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Get off the phone with your boyfriend.
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secretshame : |
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hey mandy,
if anyone ever became an expert at lying and escaping the wrath of an over controlling father it was me. just a tip, take it or leave it..if matt has a sister or even a girly voice, just get her/him to call up and say some random girl's name to talk to you.??
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morbidhippie : |
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darling darling darling, i swore i'd told you before, a couple of times what it was..after scanning your gbook and notes page..maybe i haven't. anyways, it's un/lock...mundane and incredibly obvious but still enough to deter unwanted prying eyes...and plus, everything thats coming out of me is pure CRAP at the moment, so generally i thought it would be better to save people the trouble. generally if i lock up, it's going to be the same password..if i change it, i'll let you know..and if i don't let you know, it means i'm not letting anyone know. by the way, i think it's so beautiful that you and your friend noren got to meet and spend some time together, and even more beautiful that the 2 of you then decided/realised that..you're personalities didn't match up all that well in 'real life'....i don't know why but...i just find it all really really pretty! ohh wow..ok, i should stop writing in your notes now..xox
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chained-soul : |
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Yes, I'm happy about it, but also scared to death at the same time...Glad you're happy with Matt...Here's to a wonderful New Year for you!!!...Ali
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mslola : |
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what Noren was in a word, beautiful
thank you
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bloodrunsred : |
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I forgot to do this... ONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAYONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAYONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAYONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAYONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAYONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAYONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAYONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAYONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAYONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAYONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAY ONE DAY LEFT!!!!
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bloodrunsred : |
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"Usually I'm just handed the shit and I snort and I'm done." That sentence makes it sound like you get high by doing cocaine, honey. Stop talking like you do cocaine. I know you don't. One fucking day. *commences singing "I Wanna Be Sedated":
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated
Just get me to the airport put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can't control my fingers I can't control my brain
Oh no no no no no
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go....
Just put me in a wheelchair and put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can't control my fingers I can't control my brain
Oh no no no no no
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-o I wanna be sedated
Just put me in a wheelchair get me to the show
Hurry hurry hurry before I gotta go
I can't control my fingers I can't control my toes
Oh no no no no no
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go...
Just put me in a wheelchair...
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sedated"
*ceases singing* Lisa's two-year old "gave" me a disposable camera, so if anyone starts taking random freaky pictures of you with a disposable camera and a big dark wool coat somewhere on their person, it's probably me. But you never know. Aiports hold weird people. I bought you a card... I wasn't going to but then the last one I looked at could have been made for us, even though a stranger would find it inappropriate to the max. You have to open it in the airport, or it won't make sense. Fairly soon after we meet, if not immedately. But I kinda figure making you open a card before you hugf me is a good way to have our "physical" (and you know what kind of physical I mean) relationship start with you not listening to me at all. Now I'm going to go. Cheers. I love you. More.--Noren
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bloodrunsred : |
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NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO ME AGAIN.
I was in the shower. And I walked up stairs in a towel and my mom hangs up her phone and says very seriously, "I just spoke to Mandy's mother." I nearly suffered a stroke. NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. That's not funny. I'm just glad she was drunk, or it probably would have gone over badly and we'd be banned from seeing each other bc my mother had NO preparation on what to say and what not to say. And she didn't know your mom was drunk. (Actually I probably should be grateful to you because I am now immensely relieved about the whole phone conversation thingie but I'm still trying to recover from panic. YOU KNOW HOW I PANIC.) And please, please, fix my eyebrows.
I love you to death, and there's only four days left--Noren
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bloodrunsred : |
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Do you think NOREN THE VENGEFUL POET should have a sidekick, or can she escape that because she is a poet, and you know, can use the loner stereotype as an excuse?
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bloodrunsred : |
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Do not bash meter and stressed syllables in front of me. Do not bash them in your diary. I will see it, and I will get angry and violence, turning into "NOREN THE VENGEFUL POET", who mauls people with rhyming dictionaries and copies of Chaucer and Shakespeare. Look out.
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secretshame : |
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so do what i learnt to do...start cooking food for the bastard and whilst doing so, you know...ACCIDENTLY drop some feral things in there that really shouldn't be in there. for example, did you know how satisfying it is to watch him eat the food and not thank me once and then he gets to the part that i've spat in a few times or smothered in pepper and tabasco sauce , or rolled around on the floor once or twice? well , it's VERY satisfying. so i'm an immature bitch. sue me. just looking after my own for once.
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poetsthought : |
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*cheers* yay for you? did ya kiss afterwards? *laughs* i know how it feels to lay everything on the line... me and my best friend shared all our deep dark secrets last spring break... its good to know that someone can know your dark stuff and still love you... -a poet...
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bloodrunsred : |
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AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! There is this thing called Friendster.com, which is this thing where you get to list all your friends and if they admit to being your 'friend' they show up and all this. Everyone has it. Like, EVERYONE. Like All the Rooney boys, except we think Robert's was started by one of the others... anyway... this is not about Rooney. People request people as friends who don't know them, etc... so you can imagine how many people I know have gotten the Rooney boys to lie about being friends with them. Anyway... PETE YORN LIED ABOUT ME. PETE YORN. Yeah. *giggles on this end* I'll tell you the whole story in 20 days... IN PERSON. On another note, I must agree with person below me. Very dangerous thing to give it an English teacher... but if your school has a literary magazine anything like the one here in the Burg, you ought to submit it. More importantly... much more... 20 DAYS 20 DAYS ONLY 20 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!
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secretshame : |
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i'd seriously think twice about handing that poem in for english unless you want your teacher worrying about you. do you?
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bloodrunsred : |
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Less than 25 days...
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bloodrunsred : |
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You don't have to evalute every piece of minutae (I think that's spelled wrong) in your bedroom. It won't change the fact that I love you to an obscene degree... and if it did, that wouldn't be love, it would be obsession. Noah Wyle was on paternity leave... hence the absense of Doc Carter on ER. As for what movies we have to see... I thought Girl Interrupted was on the list... but maybe that was just a given. Sometimes that movie bugs me though. And Beetlejuice... is asking a lot. I always kind of thought that was the obligatory disaster every director creates, unless you're Chris Columbus... because then all your films are disasters. Beetlejuice is just whack. And I don't take any kleptomanical rich girls seriously, especially Winona Ryder. Congrats on the turkey. I love you to pieces. Stop stressing about the damn bedroom. Hang in there. It's less than 28 days now. Do not suggest we watch any movies called 28 days. Please hang in there. I love you. Cheers, doll--Noren
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deathletter : |
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the name is: trouble
the pword isl: breathing
xoxox
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bloodrunsred : |
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Hang in there. 381-Noren
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mwah- : |
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blowjobs sound scary to me
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bloodrunsred : |
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Do I sense I'm supposed to see some underlying statement towards me personally in your paper? That perhaps I should take it like I might take Emerson? Is that part of your meaning of sending to to me? If that is the case, I've got news for you, babe: Not happening. That said, it's a damn good paper.
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bloodrunsred : |
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I bought REM. It's good. Really good. I may have issues parting with it. It's pretty. Such a pretty album.
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bloodrunsred : |
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DID YOU SEE IT? I cried. But I must say I saw it coming. I have a research paper to write this weekend (It's due Monday) so I might have my away on a lot. I'm going to call you tonight, so if you won't be home please leave me a note saying so. Movies plans for tonight cancelled by my mother; I'm going to try and get her to take me to Blockbuster-- because she admits she 'needs' to see Edward Scissorhands in full, off the telly. Also, I am thinking about getting "The Handmaid's Tale" because I want to see how much the book was butchered. Must go now. I love you to death. I have to watch True Hollywood Story on E! on Sunday... you can imagine why on your own. *MWAH* Cheers--Noren.
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bloodrunsred : |
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People who read these notes: Johnny Depp is not the only thing I talk about. I just always end up talking about him in here because it's traditional. I am depraved of tradition, because my mother is British. We don't celebrate Thanksgiving really because she doesn't give a damn, and we really don't celebrate on July 4th (she hangs a Union Jack outside our house then) and well... we're just not Holiday people. So I'm deprived of tradition, and the ones I make up are whack. Feel sorry for me, and then buy me a drink.
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bloodrunsred : |
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Thankfully, Carter can't die because he's not around. *harrumph* I smell like apples, because I dropped a cup of apple juice this morning on my pants.
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bloodrunsred : |
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WHY DO YOU GO TO BED SO FRIPPING EARLY? (I talked to your mommy. Tell her I just suck at phone conversations, please.) Well, I would like to congradulate you on finding the first reasonable use for Vanilla Pepsi, because one certainly can't drink it. Green marks on french fries are just green bits of potato... it's harmless. It just means the potato was still growing when they picked it. Brown bits come from when they cook it too long (esp. if they bake them) and black bits are burned spots. Am going to see Pirates of the Carribean with my mother yet again. Jack Sparrow's tattoo in the film (Jack in cursive with a flying bird in front of a sunset) is really Johnny Depp's tattoo. That's a swallow, not a sparrow, and convieniently for everyone, his son is named Jack...
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bloodrunsred : |
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Noren Huxley would like to point out that the message two down from this one has nothing to do with the magazine article mentioned in the one right below this.
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bloodrunsred : |
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Mand', before you see the latest copy of People magazine, here is my response to what those bastards did... "If he does something stupid to this news--like gets a nose job to ruin what they're praising-- I'm taking all that hate previously directed at Disney and turning it on your ruddy magazine, you fuckwits." That said, I'm buying two copies.
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bloodrunsred : |
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Hey, everyone? Yeah, if you'd just look down one note... that is the first note I've left Mandy in a forever that did not talk about Depp by name. Only a teeny tiny reference. I'm kinda said about it actually.... so to make up for it... JOHNNY DEPP JOHNNY DEPP JOHNNY DEPP!!! *bows*--Noren
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bloodrunsred : |
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Am currently babysitting... for people with their TV hooked up to their computer and the internet. These are the people who will be sponsering the impending "Noren's Christmas Special". SOmething like 37 days left. I have decided also that I am going to write movies and maybe be a director. I'm going to write short stories too. Novels... well... they just drain me too much. We need to talk about this. It's an issue. (And spare me the "Oh, you just want to work with brilliant people" line--because if I worked with brilliant people, I would have to get rid of my otherr-brilliant people belts. (I am thinking about commisioning your friend to make me a Rooney belt, and I'd find her the pictures she needed.) Am very sorry about Sarah. Maybe if you tell your parents they will reduce this month long... thing of theirs. Must go put baby to bed now. Cheers for now, my dark wondrous friend with the handcuff charms... I love you to the point of hysteria... Noren.
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bloodrunsred : |
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Went and saw Pirates of the Carribean (again) last night. This movie is too good... I know all the words. I can even point out when Depp switches from slurry English to this weird Scottish thing that sound far too much like Billy Boyd (Pippin the Hobbit) in LOTR... "Very Interesting"...That movie so confirms the theory that fruityness is ridiculously sexy so long as the guy being straight is made a possiblity... see Rocky Horror for more evidence. Dude... definitely up the ante of suicidal comments made in class. Be morbid. I'm morbid mainly when I'm not cutting or being plail old depressed. And now that you've decided to stay with Matt--good choice--will you please see that Kevin stays single? ;) This note got long again. I must remember to not talk about anything to do with Johnny Depp in notes, because then I suddenly wind up talking about my attraction to possibly gay men. Cheers for now... just 39 days left!--Noren
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morbidhippie : |
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darling, i can't help but wonder why you've deicded to go back to 'restricting' again. do you think maybe, we need to have something other than every day life going on in order to keep living, we seem to prefer that these things are bad for us. we waste time but really, what more is there to do with it? xoxox you are lovely though..
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bloodrunsred : |
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Yeah... umm... I was to busy thinking about Johnny Depp. That, and how this summer I just might get to make the first tick mark on my "Things to Do Before 27th Birthday" list: "Dance beneath Southern Cross!" But mainly I was preoccupied with Johnny Depp. I want my belt. Like, yeah. We get to sculpt heads next semester. I think we might get to do a portrait this semester. Teehee. I love you--Noren
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bloodrunsred : |
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if you're online right now, get on AIM. NOW. Love you--Noren.
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deathletter : |
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name- words
p-word - kill
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thiswonthurt : |
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You write beautifuly. Thanks fr adding me as a fvourite. I love your layout. Claire x
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sharpsecret : |
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<3silverchair<3 dont put so much pressure on yourself,your a beautiful girl x
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bloodrunsred : |
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If you don't think you're in trouble for this one, kid, you've got something else coming. Be glad I just saw Pirates of the Carribean. You're in luck. I'm dealing with issues of my own. (If you look in my diary fairly soon, you'll see why. Depp has convoluted my mind... and not in a good way.)
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mwah- : |
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yea well... I gained 30 pounds this summer isn't that just disgusting? (is shamefully disgusting)
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bloodrunsred : |
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Dude... 48 days. That's so freaking little. Hang in there, and tell your fucking teacher to shove it. Make her cry. I had a dream about being on a plane to see you and Johnny Depp was sitting behind me and I was really scared because I thought he was the Devil. (Blame it on Lisa's renting of The Ninth Gate, freakiest ending ever in which Depp kinda is the Devil at the end. Side Note: Depp should not go around faking orgasms on camera; Roman Polanski should not have let him.) I'm bored and I want to talk to you but our phone is busted and the cell phone is not in the house and blah-blah-blah... get your ass online, please. *MWAH*I love you.--Noren
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kah2004 : |
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hey there girlie... don't do anything, purdy please? i've been reading for awhile... and you inspire me-- you've taught me to keep on going... b/c no matter what life throw's at us kids... we will always ALWAYS --ALWAYS-- prevail!! stay strong girl! hit me up on AOL- KAH21186 please don't do anything... before talking to SOMEONE!! *hugs* -KAH
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sweetkate28 : |
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please sweetheart. please. i need you. we all do. i have been reading for a long long time. aka razor-thin, keep-quiet. i have been reading and you are truly amazing. please stay strong and i am always here. us kids, we can relate to eachother. x3cheers4katex is my sn. give a call
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bloodrunsred : |
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I suggest you go rent the DVD of Gattaca... and watch the deleted scenes. The one called "Coda" may be of particular interest to you... How much do you know about Lincoln? ;) All my love, darling, cheers.
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poetsthought : |
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i've felt the same disappointment as you are feeling... life's a bitch, ain't it? this is KAH... new diary... putting up poetry, FYI... keep on writing! ---a poet.. aka KAH
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bloodrunsred : |
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Yeah, all she has to do is take a pill. RU-40 or something like that. It starts with an "R". It basically will abort a baby... but she might have to test positive in a PG test to get it. It's better than having a D+C though. Tell her that whatever she does, she is not automatically deemed a bad person... and if you believe in the widsom of a soul, any "baby" she aborts would understand why she acted as she did, and would forgive her... but only if you think that'll help. And if she wants to talk to someone outside of all this mess... give her my SN. I love you baby... and I'm owed about fifty bucks by Lisa... which basically negates my debt in full. :) Whoo! Cheers--Noren
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suffocatexme : |
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i know exactly what you are going through with your friend and the boy. ive gone through that same situation uncountable times. im so sorry you have to feel that dissapointment. much love.
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bloodrunsred : |
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Whoo...Kevin...I think we should blindfold him or buy my a whore shirt... because yeah. Karen and Veronica will have to distract him from the fact that I'm hideous.
Oh man, babe, I totally need to talk to you... am definetly calling tonight.
This is so not my life... but yet I manage to run with it.
Raven never did anything like this for me.
I love you to death... talk to you later--Noren.
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bloodrunsred : |
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I wonder if Sprech knows about Heisenburg's Uncertainty Principle... heh.
I'm gonna call you tonight, kid... and the theme song for our Christmas Day this year is "I Wanna be Sedated" by the Ramones. "Twenty twenty twenty four hours to go[...]Just get me to the airport put me on a plane/Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane".
Love you to death, my Mandy.
Cheers for now.--Noren
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mwah- : |
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you make me even more afraid to go to the doctors! (hugs)
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wire-ending : |
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aaaah you scare me. note the aaah. but im glad youre okay. <3
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bloodrunsred : |
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Ok, I know there was nothing really funny about a cat scan and another MRI and all that... but I'm laughing so hard because it was all so pointless, and stupid, and your principal is really the biggest idiot in the world. Oh my god, why am I laughing at this? I'm sorry baby... my mom is due home in five minutes and I am going to call you right away... I love you--Noren.
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bloodrunsred : |
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$95 down, $117 to go... whoo.
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bloodrunsred : |
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Yo. I got an estimate on the paintings... they could probably go for 125-150 total.
I think I'm keeping them both though, because my mother is going to object to letting them out of her sight if she sees them. And she will.
I want you to find me a picture of a gorgeous landscape... it doesn't matter what it is, just find one that you really really like.
And download "At Seventeen" by Janis Ian. Because like, yeah. Crux of my life is in that song.
It's amazing what a 40 year old can do for someone.
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bloodrunsred : |
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One more thing: if you can't figure out who I talked about in the note below I'm not coming. Believe me, if you can't... then you have had a brain transplant with a giraffe. I love you.
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bloodrunsred : |
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I am the only one who leaves you notes anymore. That whole norenorenorenorenoren thing after the mattmattmattmattmatt freaked me the hell out. You gibbering over your bf is one thing. You gibbering on about your friend in the same fucking breath is just warped. But that's why I love you. *MWAH* I swear ovulation makes me ridiculously horny.... but babysitting tonight wore me out so much. I did get to watch Nick of Time, which is a movie I saw the begining of like five years ago and always wanted to finish but didn't know who was in it, except for that scary Christopher Walken dude. Anyway... it turns out that the hero in it is... *giggles* you-know-very-well-who. He looks better wuth hair that more resembles Rooney hair back in the day then what he had in this... which was like... some messed up punker/business cut. He still looked hot. He's so magnificent, I didn't even know it was him and yet on and off for five years I have been wondering what the heck happened in this movie I only saw like 30 minutes of. *sigh* I'm done now. Hang in there babe, and you so totally realise that now we have to rent and watch Nick of Time and discuss how fucking creepy Christopher Walken can be. I love you to death, so much that I'm going to get on FOUR AIRPLANES for you. *MWAH*--Noren
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bloodrunsred : |
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Am I the only one who leaves you notes anymore? I want to be filled in on every inch of your "You need to learn how to feel a girl up properly" talk from Matt. Because that's just fucking hysterical. I used to think you were this nice little innocent Christian girl, and now I think you're almost as dirty-minded as me. Almost. I'M GOING TO SEE YOU, I AM I AM I AM!!!! Whoo, now this is why I say I should not be allowed to get excited. I think you scared my mom. It was funny. You talked a lot on the phone. She was probably thinking... "They're so alike. How will anyone else get a word in when they get going?" MUAHAHAHA.... I'm going to meet your parents, and your cat, and your house, and your bed, and your computer, and your silverware, and your kitchen sink... AND WE'RE GOING TO LISTEN TO NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU TOGETHER! WHOOOOOOOOOO!
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bloodrunsred : |
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I have the bestest news in the world.
I have two babysitting jobs... long term affairs... TWO... which means, oh platonic lover... I CAN COME AT CHRISTMAS. *commences dancing* My mom will want to talk to yours ASAP so we can buy the tickets. WHOO!!!!!!!!
I'm so super duper excited! In a rather amusing twist of irony, the job that pays the most--and is making it capable for me to go-- is for a nice adorable couple with two girls--who happen to be Wiccan.
A Wiccan is paying for me to go see you, love.
So it goes, so it goes.
I'm ridiculously happy. We're going to get to do the shrieking crying thing in the airport!!!
I love you to death, and quite soon I'll be able to yell that at you in person. A thousand kisses, my Mandy--Noren
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comfortm : |
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hey thanks for sending the pictures.you look really pretty...that dress looked great on you!you look so sweet and innocent.I hope u post more pics of u in the future.
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secretshame : |
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i'd love to see your pictures too, if you don't mind! constant_over_stimulation_numbs_me@Hotmail.com is my address. sorry it's so long! xoxo
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milyssa : |
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i want you to know that i love your diary! i am always so happy to see an update!
also, not that it matters so much, but i want to share my view on the cutting/sinning thing. I don't feel like cutting is a sin, or that anyone who cuts is a bad person (although who wants to admit to others that they are bad?). I do feel, however, that God loves us so much, and values us so much, that He hates to see us hurting so much that we lean on cutting and eating disorders to get through. I believe that it makes Him hurt to see us so unhappy that we feel the need to harm our bodies, but I also believe that overall, He finds us incredibly important and doesn't think we are being disobedient or bad, but realizes we are hurting and are trying to survive the best way we know.
Also..I know you don't know me! But I would love to see your homecoming picture, because you sound so beautiful! My email is newsgyrl@hotmail.com
Thanks...I hope you are doing great :)
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sharpsecret : |
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oooo id love to see u hayley_foster@hotmail.com if u like i know ur beautful anyway x
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morbidhippie : |
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ohh darling, i would love to see a picture of you! please send me one (elusive_eloquence@hotmail.com) xox
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comfortm : |
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hey u dont know me but i read all ur entries.Your diary really touches me and i feel like i can relate.funny thing is i have an ed plus issues with my father as well.
anyways i was wondering if i could see your homecoming pics? u sound really pretty and it would be nice to put a face to the diary,u know..if u dont want to show me i completely understand since i am a stranger...just leave me a note saying u wont..i understand..my email is comfort_marie17@yahoo.com please think about it!
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cake-n-pie : |
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jannypoocaca@hotmail.com....I'd love to see your pics!
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chained-soul : |
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I'd love to see pics of your Homecoming, sounds like you had a great time...Take care, and much love to you...
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onecutabove : |
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I would love to see your pics. E-mail me at thin_and_bones@hotmail.com
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hazel-wiccan : |
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hey, could i have the pics address? mailto hazelwikkan@aol.com, thank oo :)
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bloodrunsred : |
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U: reader P: damn
I'll IM you from my new SN... I'm not taking chances here, Mandy, I'm sure you wull understand why.
I love you.
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wire-ending : |
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you have to decide, hun. love you lots
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suffocatexme : |
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just to let you know/ you are wonderful.
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mwah- : |
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I wish we had a homecoming dance... poo
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bloodrunsred : |
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One last thing... you may be the only person I know who can understand how a person can go from leaving Happy notes about singing to the sun and admitting they sliced up that I know... pfft. At least we're coping.
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bloodrunsred : |
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That entry was about cutting. Yeah, I know. But sometimes I'm really pushed, and I can't take it, and I have to do it, and... yeah.
I love how you just decide to go an make me a good christian girl. I mean, couldn't you have found another way of pretending that we'd met? And yeah, they'd better learn Noren, because Nora is almost as bad as the dreaded Noreen. Almost. I got an offer to be a mother's helper tonight, and I would love to do that. I also got a letter from Northwestern in Illinois... with my two AP scores I'd be given 2 English credits and 2 history ones... I'm looking into it as an alternative if the worst occurs and I don't get into Hollins and botch killing myself. It's in some place that starts with an E, you might know. I love you baby, and I want to be with you in a hotel room squealing and the like... but you have to bring a CD player so we can listen to Nothing Compares To You and so forth. ;). *MWAH*--Noren
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bloodrunsred : |
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I burned you a CD-- a data CD. You'll be pleased with it in an unfamilliar way, because it's got loads of happy people music on it that will cheer you up. I suspect part of your problems stem from the fact you listen to Bright Eyes and Jack Off Jill and all this emo. It is impossible to listen to the Polyphonic Spree and feel glum. No one else can get away with what the Polyphonic Spree gets away with, which is probably why the P. Sprees are ridiculously happy. People should sing songs to the sun more. Hooray for hand-holding; I don't like rings so I don't get why being allowed to wear some guys ring is anything better than torture. Don't worry about me visiting for my spring break, if worst comes to worse I will just visit right after my school gets out... Unless we can scrape the money together for an Xmas trip. I'm listening to Sloan right now singing about how they will always be living in Canada. It's hard for me to worry or think rationally. And I just found out Johnny Depp wants to play Willy Wonka. *sigh* I love Willy Wonka, I love Johnny Depp. We're gonna have a Johnny Depp fest when I come. He's in depressing movies, so you'll be happy, and I'll be happy because it's Johnny Depp. I have to go dance around some more. I didn't even get out of my pajamas all day. It's been forever since I went bra-less for a whole day. Karen and Veronica are singing to the sun too. I love you to death, baby. *MWAH*--Noren
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mwah- : |
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just so you know. I love you girlie
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secretshame : |
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you're not actually going to listen to him are you? screw him. it's not his choice, what he doesn't know won't hurt him! fuck that - date as many guys as you want. i hate your dad. and mine. they can go fuck eachother up the ass with a serated knife...*smile*
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mwah- : |
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a rose!! awwwwwe!
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bloodrunsred : |
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I love you I love you I love you and whoever told you that about your father (Mr. G???) is a bastardly fuckwit!!!!
(I tried to put this in your guestbook, but it hates me or something, because it won't accept it.) You're so coming next summer, even if I have to kidnap you and hold you for a ransom of 15,789,472 blue M&Ms.
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bloodrunsred : |
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It's not like I didn't warn you in advance. And for the record... I have gorgeous handwriting when I want to have it. It's just that well... the last time I wanted to have gorgeous handwriting was when I wrote a note to Rooney. Only Rooney gets my good handwriting. I hope you like the card. *MWAH*--Noren
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toshchaya : |
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*hugs* I am worried about you...
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bloodrunsred : |
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You know, you sound like Bridget Jones, who wants to be 126 and is 133. Go buy that book and read it, it'll cheer you up. (PS--It's in the mail, but Labour Day may slow it down some, so look out for it. The stamp is upside-down.)
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xvampdoll : |
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this is why I married you xo
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phaiding : |
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hope it all works out
xoxoxo
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chained-soul : |
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My husband has a heart condition called mitralvalveprolapse syndrome...His aorta and heart become more enlarged with the more physically active that he is...He also isn't supposed to have caffeine, either...he was diagnosed with this when he was 16, so it's good for you that whatever this may be, that's they've found it early...He takes pills, and still runs, works out, etc...His only complication is that after alot of strenous activity, his heart races for about 10-15 min, and he has to lay down...But, he's learned to say when, and this hasn't happened in years...Hang in there, everything will be OK, I can just feel it...Much love to you!!!!...Ali
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xvampdoll : |
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oh darling darling, I'd write you a note but I don't know what to say other than.. I love you
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bloodrunsred : |
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Leave your number in a note (preferably) or an e-mail and I'll call ASAP from Raven's. Hang in there. And if you see Peroxidemuffin online that's me at her's.
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wire-ending : |
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good luck dear.
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reallynormal : |
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Oh I didn't delete your note as anything personal against you, it's just that I don't want certain friends reading them and then going backwards and forwards to read the whole conversation. Anyway,I didn't mean to be rude either it's just that someitmes I feel like talking to people is like talking to brick walls. And you are worthy of my concern because everybody is worthy of being cared for, period. I guess that there's not going to be a win on the whole God thing because sometimes (too often) I go into rants about how believing in God is absurd, so...
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reallynormal : |
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Yeah? So what? You interest me, and I like you. I'm sorry, would you rather that I didn't read your diary? You're right, I have no idea what your life is like, I haven't lived it. I can only make judgements based on what my life is like. You are also right in saying that cutting yourself is better than killing yourself, but I just think you're causing yourself unnecessary damage. I am in fact agnostic, but you're right, if I was to choose a theory it would be evolution. The fact that I don't believe in God is not absurd, it's a personal decision based on the evidence that I've seen so far. People you can talk to: Doctor, that should be confidential. Various people off the internet, I realise that's not exactly personal but it's certainly easier than talking to people you know, various depression helplines, I don't know your friends and family so I won't make suggestions there. But it's evident that you don't really care what I think (And fair enough, because in your position I wouldn't either) So I'll just have to make do with the satisfaction in knowing I tried.
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reallynormal : |
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Well I can't say that I can understand you because I've never been there. I've been sad, and I've hurt myself, and I've gotten kicks out of hurting myself. But the idea of doing it habitually is quite beyond me. And really it's not my place to say that you shouldn't cut yourself, so I'll just say that it bothers me that you do. The choice isn't as simple as cut yourself or die and it's certainly not the case that you can't talk to anybody about it. I just think there are more healthy vents for your pain. Personally I don't believe in God, but if religion works for you I suggest that.. I like your diary by the way.
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xvampdoll : |
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(shudder) my doctor gropes me too. not to mention stares at my legs.. ewww
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toshchaya : |
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Here's a *hug* XOXOX Tali
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toshchaya : |
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Here's a *hug* XOXOX Tali
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reallynormal : |
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No, I don't know you. But I read pretty much all of your diary last night, although I confess to skipping a few entries, and I don't want anybody to be hurting themselves. Perhaps it's just easier for me to say what I think to you than to say it to my friend, but then again, there are hundreds of self harmers on this website, and I think you deserve to be happy. And I can't see how cutting yourself helps that. I don't know what you want, but I assume you don't want to be sad.
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reallynormal : |
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I know you're not in any shortage of people leaving you notes, and I know this probably isn't the first time you've heard this, but, STOP CUTTING YOURSELF. I don't think you're doing it for attention, because you'd have to be pretty damn attention hungry if it's to the extent you say it is. But all the same you need to stop. Maybe I'm just taking this out on you because I have a friend who cuts herself and I'm worried, but please stop. And it almost sounded as if you want people to notice, your doctor for one. Tell them. You can tell your doctor things confidentially you know. Well anyway, that was my little rant, but give yourself a break. You won't be proud of those scars one day.
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morbidhippie : |
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i say show him. let him read it and then talk to him about it. (i'll unlock soon i think..i've lost it a bit and i can't stand to read it so i don't want to punish anyone else with it right now. i'll get over it) xo
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wire-ending : |
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well youre disgusted, yes, becaue thats what eating disorders do. they fuck you up more than i think we know right now. even though youre eating normally now you still have the disordered eating but maybe not the eating disorder. i know that makes no sense whatsoever. sorry. but youve just got to keep trying, doll, because youre going to be great someday and youll look back on this and laugh. love you lots. <333
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wire-ending : |
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talk to him.
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xvampdoll : |
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I usd to fucking love the goo goo dolls.
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xvampdoll : |
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haha you wear chuck converses. :P don't worry I still love you. muah! <3
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xvampdoll : |
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I've never had that many boys want me. xo
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chained-soul : |
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I can recall hating my life, my parents and myself back in my early teens...I witnessed my father verbally, emotionally, and physically abuse my mother over the course of my childhood...The feelings of hate, despair, and total helplessness seem to take over...I am so terribly sorry that you have to endure this...You are a beautiful person, and have seen, and experienced more than your share of pain in your life...I wish I could take you pain away from you...Remember, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger...You will come thru this a better, stronger person...Much love to you...
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lithium07 : |
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You are so beautiful. And your words are lovely. Would you mind if I added you? I would love it if you added me. Stay strong and beautiful, because you are. <333 Sarah
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bloodrunsred : |
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The bible's out, I couldn't find it. In order to appease you anyway, I was going to write something spiritual in a raised text and then put bible pages over it so you could kinda see it and kinda couldn't. It wasn't going to be Satanic or anything. There would be no trace of Abraxas even. Anyway, I have something else planned for yours. Who's your favorite poet?
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ontipey-toes : |
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hey sorry that last note was a lil messed up
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ontipey-toes : |
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Hey! I'm a member of the "love you to the bones" diary ring and came across your diary. I wanted to invite you to join me and some friends for a week of fasting. It will be August 4-11th, 2003. A week truly loving yourself with discipline and self-control instead of directionless whims and mindless indulgence. A week to test your limits and live up to the challenge. A week to make a difference in others' lives as well as your own. A week to purge yourself of unwanted habits and form new, healthier ones. A week to take time to reconnect with what it means to be a member of this larger species, humankind. A week to remember that millions at home and abroad do not have the luxury of stuffing themselves, feasting on rich delicacies, or even supersizing the grease and salt at the local burger joint. A week to remember that millions of children go to bed hungry every night, that millions of teens and young adults starve daily, through no choice of their own.
Are you up to the challenge? Stop by if you are or if you have any questions! =) ttyl
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chained-soul : |
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Thank you for the note in my book...I could only hope that one day I will be able to express my thoughts and feelings as honestly as you do...You are truly a talented and beautiful person...Accept yourself for who you are, not for who you aren't...Recovery isn't all it's cracked up to be, but for right now, it's working for me...Don't sell yourself short, for so many of us see what you don't see in yourself...Much love...Ali
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xvampdoll : |
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happiest of happy belateded birfdays mein wifey poo!
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| from
secretshame : |
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manda, you win the prize for having the worst birthday ever :( sorry it was so crap. i dont want to preach, but if i can give you any advice seeing as i know exactly what your home life is like, don't ever let your parents (esp your dad) make you feel like you're a bad daughter. you honestly aren't...your dad has a crap life so he is taking it out on you. sure, we are all brats sometimes, but no parent has any right to act like that, it's pure selfishness. i know you know inside it's not your fault. it all started working out for me when i stopped caring what they thought of me as a daughter and a person. i was forced to grow up, i feel that im very mature for my age now. now he finds it difficult to look at me and scream at me as a defenseless child, because he can see i am not anymore. xoxoxo make your next birthday a better one <3
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poisonedfae : |
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I'm sorry your birthday wasn't what you dreamed it would be dollface. I hope the night gets better for you &&Happy Birthday.
xoxo <33Shaka
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| from
cake-n-pie : |
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Happy Birthday Amanda! I wish you the best
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| from
suffocatexme : |
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happy birthday doll/<3
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| from
onecutabove : |
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Happy birthday sweetie. I hope things get better for you. Hopefully this year will be a better one for you. :hugs:
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raygirl999 : |
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Happy almost birthday! I hope you enjoy it immensely. Take Care!
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| from
whiterose88 : |
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Holy shit!! UR diary is fuckin AWSOME!!
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| from
poisonedfae : |
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you are [.Amazing.]
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| from
silent-scars : |
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Girl... Girl you are so beautiful. You make me feel like magic. I love your pretty words, the way you write. You feel like happiness. Thank you thank you thank you for the kind words you left me about that girl from my book. You made my heart have a sudden flutter; ah, happiness. You are so beautiful, don't for get it. I ♥heart you like WOAH girl, xoexoh.
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suffocatexme : |
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seduction is a geat feeling/<3/.
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| from
xvampdoll : |
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maybe they're just trying to reassure themselves that the cuts arent' that bad. could be they're just shaking in their boots
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xvampdoll : |
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pics honey pics!
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| from
toshchaya : |
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I'm so sorry about what happened with your dad, I can sympathize with the feeling of being emotionally raped. That is just terrible! I hope everything gets better for you. Remember that there are people--strangers, but friends--behind you from all over the country! Hugs, Tali.
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xvampdoll : |
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dear wifey. this is my opinion and I hope it doesn't offend you. if it does. I'm sorry. I just hate to see you hurting. I think your dad is a negative influence on you and is very unhealthy for you to be around. it seems to me (from what I can tell from) he feels the need to always be the center of attention and puff himself up by putting others down and blaming them for all of his problems. that isn't the way it works hun. you're a beautiful girl with a lot of talent and potential who just doesn't realise it. oh how I wish I could rescue you girl. but I just don't know how. stay strong for me girl. I don't want to lose you. xoxo <3<3
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secretshame : |
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amanda, oh my god. are you sure you're not me? that last entry you wrote, about your dad....could have come straight from my head. the exact same scenario happened to me a million times when i was a bit younger. fuck...i hate parents who fight in front of their kids and even worse - blame the kid for it. they need marriage councelling and you need councelling or otherwise you will grow up feeling guilty you whole life and i can already see you're going down that path. next time something like that happens, say you can't handle it and stay with a friend's family for a while, it will do you good. don't sit back and let it unfold while you're screaming inside as i once did. from gemma xoxo
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| from
onecutabove : |
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I've locked my diary, and I know you read it, so the username is ilove and the password is tf
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| from
teafuck : |
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you shouldn't say things like that dear
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| from
teafuck : |
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it may not be as good as a boys. but I love you
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| from
morbidhippie : |
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no passwords yet. sorry, maybe later.
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| from
suffocatexme : |
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your writing is like a slap of reality and it.s a fxcking great slap/<3.
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| from
staa : |
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why did you give me a note saying "honest liar" ???
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| from
onecutabove : |
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I wanted to ask you... how do you get your last 5 entries to show up without the %%older_entries%% in front of it? Mine keeps having the older entries thing in front of it, and it's bugging the hell out of me.
Just wondering if you knew how to fix it.
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| from
teafuck : |
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thank you thank you thank you precious honeygrrl. it means more than you know xoxox
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| from
cuttersclub : |
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I noticed you have not posted in CuttersClub in some time. You will be removed from the members list unless you post within the next week. If you wish to be removed anyways, contact us.
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| from
afallnangel : |
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http://tearsofrayne.diaryland.com ... my second diary... check out some of the older entries... the "archives" page doesn't work (scars)... but there's a button at the bottom of the page to get to back to older entries... it's a deeper side to me than what i show in this diary (afallnangel)... it's where most of my thoughts and emotions get laid out truthfully... *hugz*... bye sweetie... ***gina***
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| from
bloodrunsred : |
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Reading your diary when eating cheesecake makes me feel guilty. For a little while. And then I remember I don't care enough about being 160+ pounds to diet. Anyway, when I do diet, the only thing that gets smaller is Karen. Veronica doesn't, and then I'm lopsided and it's all very difficult to handle.
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| from
toshchaya : |
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I know just how you feel! I miss that too, the wonderful feeling of being thin, of BEING thin, feeling empty yet complete without food! Most of my beginning entries are so similar to that, and we even used the same template! If you need extra support let me know, because I am in the exact same situation as you! I read your journal every time you post and let me tell you I can relate to every thing that you have written. The best of luck on your goal deeper into ana! oxox Tali
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| from
teafuck : |
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like when I weighed myself and I was 10 lbs heavier than usual.. man that sucked. turns out my scale is off.. thank god
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| from
teafuck : |
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as long as I don't HAVE to be locked up. but I'd visit you every day and bring you flowers
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| from
teafuck : |
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was I on the list? xoxox
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| from
xscar-mex : |
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i wish i was beautiful like your words are <3
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| from
invisibledon : |
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just randomly ended up here - thought I would leave a note
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| from
teafuck : |
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I wanna hear about this nice new boy!
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| from
stuckinme : |
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hi, locking my diary from my boyfriend, the user is: alone the password is: inside
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| from
sweetkate28 : |
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(a.k.a. razor-thin) its not your fault that people are ignorant. its not your fault that people have to put others down to make them feel superior. you are awesome. and thats all there is to it.
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| from
teafuck : |
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people suck.
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| from
teafuck : |
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yay (orgasm)! you're back!.. I need to get off my fatttttening ass and do something. perferable tonite. I know you don't agree bobby but me thinks I'm fat! bah! missed you so so much girl. love xoxox <3
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| from
suffocatexme : |
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just to let you know i put you on my favorites list..xoxo
<3
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| from
moo-review : |
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We're trying to promote our review site. If you would like a review please request. Thanks
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| from
teafuck : |
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I wish I had a hott black bra (that I could fill out nicely) damn that'd be hottttt
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| from
chained-soul : |
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don't be ashamed for loving and depending on mr. greene...you have to have someone in your life that you can love, and feel loved by...and good for you for NOT cutting last night...it's a step in the right direction...i'm pulling for you, you can do it again tonite-NOT CUT...then start again tomorrow with the satsifaction of knowing you didn't give in to your urges 2 nites in a row...it's an acomplishment-be proud of yourself and give yourself credit...
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| from
wire-ending : |
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maybe he would be disappointed but atleast you would be honest. i know how hard it is to keep things like that inside you, you need to tell someone. it will be ok, you just need a little courage. i will help you if you want. im online a lot if you ever want to talk, my aim is black above me. all the luck in the world times 2 <333kate
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| from
x-hidden-x : |
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are you okay hun?...I read what you left in CC.
<3Lauren
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| from
x-hidden-x : |
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are you okay hun?...I read what you left in CC.
<3Lauren
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| from
wire-ending : |
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i love you. maybe if you told mr greene it would be ok. i think its worth a try..<333kate
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| from
caged-freed : |
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saw you were a member of the edsufferer diaryring and thought this new forum at caged-freed might interest you. check it out, if you can, and take care.
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| from
teafuck : |
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yes my mum used to do that all the time when I was on my ana kick
I hope someday you can see how gifted you are and learn to love yourself
xoxoxo Lysha
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| from
teafuck : |
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my poor grrl... you remind me why I hate this society
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| from
teafuck : |
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my poor poor baby grrl xoxoxo
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| from
razor-thin : |
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after i read the poem on the beginning of your profile i read your diary. almost every entry. your words captivated me and i fully understand how you feel somedays. i dont have as a developed ED as you, i still know how you feel. i too cut, and i could just really relate to you and how your father treats you. mine is an ass too. i dont really know why i am telling you all this, but sometimes it helps to feel semi-normal knowing there is someone else out there like you. i hope its ok that i put you as one of my favorites.
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| from
razor-thin : |
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the poem on the beginning of your profile is how i feel everyday of mt life. this probably means nothing to you, but i just wanted to tell you.
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| from
teafuck : |
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just be careful grrrl.. muah xoxo Lysha
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| from
morbidhippie : |
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u/s: self
p: love
:)
xo
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| from
afallnangel : |
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hmmm, i don't kno you... but i see i'm down as a favorite. just sayin' hey... and checkin' out my stalkerz... lol. ;)... hope to talk to you sometime. :)... my aim name is unfaithfulimage... *smilez*... bye...
lovealways,
***gina***
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| from
teafuck : |
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I miss you so much grrrlie
xoxo <3
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| from
chained-soul : |
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Love the new layout!!!!...Your entry is so sad, because it sounds like you are crying out for someone to notice and help you...If only I were closer to you...Much love, and a BIG hug to you...
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| from
wire-ending : |
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thats beautiful <333
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| from
chained-soul : |
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So glad you are back!!!...Subtle link in your entry made me laugh...Take care...
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| from
teafuck : |
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I'll always be your punk grrl if you'll always be my gothy grrl for me to want to hug
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| from
chained-soul : |
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You haven't updated in a while, and I am just checking to make sure that you are Ok...Well, none of us are "OK", but that you are still hanging in there...You writing is beautiful, I wish I could write as eloquently as you do...Just wanted you to know that someone was thinking of you, and hopes you know that you are thought about, and loved...
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| from
gah-death : |
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wow! you're beautiful (or at least your words are)
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| from
poshgrrl : |
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hi I like your diary please jion my pro ana forum
http://poshgrrl.proboards13.com
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| from
teafuck : |
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the perfect daughter? it scared me....xoxo<3
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| from
raven72d : |
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Such a lovely writer...
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| from
teafuck : |
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reaaad my diarry there's a present for you
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| from
teafuck : |
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don't worry my beautiful darling grrl//your beautiful kind words brought tears to my eyes//I'll always be your cellmate so don't ever leave//I love you//xoxo Lysha//
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| from
chained-soul : |
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i am so flattered that you included me in your list of favorite diaries...your words touch my heart and pierce my soul, for i have felt every word you have written...don't stop writing, for not only you benefit from it, but so do i, and i am sure that many others do as well....love ya
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| from
teafuck : |
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you keep talking about suicide and I don't know if I can love you anymore.. I don't want to love you if you're only going to break my heart <3xoxox
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| from
lunetia : |
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Hey, sweetie. You talk about Mr. Greene and Emily suspecting, and you write, "I wish she would stop asking." But is that really what you wish?
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| from
hazel-wiccan : |
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I had to do a health project a few years ago. I just lied my way through the whole thing too, shoved a load of healthy stuff on the paper. This might seem weird my asking, but is Mr Greene your english teacher? I'm just curious, you mentioned him a while ago too. Well, good luck with the project. I like your new layout btw :)
Nikki
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| from
just-fine : |
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I <3 your new layout xox
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| from
nofacejane : |
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hey hun... thanks for the message. my first instinct was to be flattered, but then i started thinking. a lot. and i just think... its not really something you should admire me for. its not something that i should be proud of. the thing is, im glad you found something that inspires you, i just feel bad because its me. i dont want to take this opportunity to hurt you... and i feel like im preaching something that i really should listen to myself. but the truth is... i hate every second of this thing. i hate it, but i cant let it go. ive held on so long that im terrified of letting go, and not having that one stable thing to hold on to. i dont want to hurt you... that is the LAST thing i want. you are too precious and too awesome and too beautiful to be taken under by this. im sorry, im being really hypocritical here... but im terrified that something is going to happen to you. if you can get out of this, do it. please. im sorry, i feel awful for this. but hun, please. be safe. okay? thanks for the comment though... your words always brighten my day. :) im sorry this is so long... im sorry you have to go through this.
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| from
hazel-wiccan : |
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Aww, sorry you have to go through this :( I gets better when you can leave home, just do your own thing with no one interfering, and just get away from your parents altogether. Just hold on :)
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| from
teafuck : |
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bah?
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| from
teafuck : |
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thank you grrl....that song made me laugh .sohard.
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| from
teafuck : |
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mmm sounds like fun.. love you <3
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| from
teafuck : |
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..sobs/I'm in shock
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| from
teafuck : |
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oh honey...take care of yourself while I'm gone
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| from
sharpsecret : |
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takecare,ur getting worse,ur sinking deeper dont drown in this u mean too much to me
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| from
teafuck : |
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I did too.. love you
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| from
teafuck : |
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stupid stupid jerk boi...
it's murderin time..
(goes off in a rage)
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| from
neko-carre : |
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Welcome to the Cancerians diaryring.
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| from
nofacejane : |
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thanks... I'll keep that in mind... im just crazily afraid of being caught! ahhhhh im a weirdo... thanks for the support!
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| from
teafuck : |
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nope nope no images for me.. I can host em for you if you want
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| from
teafuck : |
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david can rot in a gutter and have his decomposing corpse chewed to the bone by revenous and rabid sewer rats
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| from
teafuck : |
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oh honey.. (hugs kiss) I still love you.. don't hurt yourself..please?
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| from
teafuck : |
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well I don't want you to die or cut so there! (hugs)
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| from
teafuck : |
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did something happen today?
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| from
bean-bean : |
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i think that the reason god tells you not to cut yourself is not because he is angered by this 'sin' but because he loves you. he doesn't want you to hurt. mabey to stop the cutting you have to face the things that lead you to cutting first? mabey you should find someone who knows what they are talking about...sorry i really can't give you advice or help on how to stop the pain you feel. but i do know that god loves you and that is all there is...just love. just his love. no anger. forget the religon and have faith in him and his love. sorry, mabey i shouldn't have left a note. sorry.
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| from
teafuck : |
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religion.. so complex
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| from
teafuck : |
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when I first stopped I felt numb
it was wonderful and frightening at the same time
too numb to hurt and yet to far to be happy
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| from
teafuck : |
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I'm sorry hun
I love you
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| from
teafuck : |
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oh honey honey
I wish I could help, I really do.. but I'm as confused as you are about this whole thing
come live with me in the land of the pixies where little bois are good and don't make trouble in grrls hearts and then we won't have to worry about it anymore (hugs)
I hope everything works out
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| from
lunetia : |
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Sweetie, TT sounds like a jerk. Forget about him. And no, people do NOT not like you because you are fat and ugly (which I doubt anyway)! And if they do, then they're idiots that deserve to implode. :)
Something else: I don't know anything about homecoming, but it sort of sounds like people in your class are scrambling for a date... Maybe in the end that doesn't matter so much anyway, if you're looking for a real, live, warm person who honestly cares about you?
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