messages to integrating:
(click here to add new message):

from cloudy-night :
Sorry your friend didn't show up when you need him. Seems like that the people we depend on will let us down on random occasions. I just hope you can patch things up.
from jimbostaxi :
Holy fucking shit suicide ! I'm glad your ok just try and mellow out suicides not the answer
from raven72d :
At least it's not South Dakota.
from annanotbob2 :
Cheers, matey!
from raven72d :
Hi! How's the summer going?
from cloudy-night :
Hi. I don't think it's linked anymore. I used to get emails to notify me that I received notes, but it hasn't worked in years. You can email me at fallforgotten@yahoo.com I hope that you have fun at the gym!
from cloudy-night :
There is always friction between family. Hopefully things will work out though.
from dangerspouse :
I think he's afraid you'll leave him. Getting pissy about a single dirty pot is just a symptom. Don't let it get in your head.
from evanelle :
hey, i can relate as well and look pforward to reading more of your entries.
from cloudy-night :
Sleeping problems? Welcome to the club sister. I hope that you will be able to get back on your regular sleeping cycle soon. I read about your weight loss, congrats! That is awesome! I'm a bit envious, I haven't tried to lose any yet but I'm about to. I find it funny that you didn't find any of the pics you've taken. I thought that most sd cards just automatically uploaded pics these days.
from dangerspouse :
Thanks for the note - glad you liked it! And woo hoo for your own weight loss. 40 pounds! Terrific!! :)
from cloudy-night :
I'm glad that you got your money back! I hear you that there are people out there who rig atm machines and can pick up the signals from certain debit card readers from the satellites in gas stations. What a world we live in.
from cloudy-night :
Whoa! That really does suck, how did they get your information? Maybe you need to check your computer to see if their are any viruses or something. I hope that the bank gave you a full refund.
from dangerspouse :
LOL!! Wow, that was great. I loved the eagle biting Trump THEN SHOOTING FIRE! I'm stealing this one fer sure :)
from dangerspouse :
That may be the most intelligent thing I've ever heard that was said with a Southern accent. Lol. Wish I could get away with a routine like that on my stations :)
from dangerspouse :
"Damn" is right. Seven years! What a pity. So much pain, and for so long. I do hope the new meds help, finally.
from raven72d :
Xmas went well--- quiet but nice. Glad to have you back.
from raven72d :
Happy holidays 2016....
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note!:0) her arm is healing from the breaks. Little by little we are getting g back to normal
from jimbostaxi :
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? Tyler Durden: felt like a good place to drop a Fight Club quote. I think she'll be home in the next day or two thanks for the note :0)
from dangerspouse :
That is a conundrum. I feel for ya kiddo, and hope you come out of this ok. Please hang in there.
from dangerspouse :
I dunno kid. Is it worth losing your sanity all because you don't want to lose a truck? I'd be all over that public housing offer if it was me. At least that's the impression I get after reading so many of your soul rending entries regarding how your dad treats you. Whatever you decide though, I wish you all the best. I hope you're not back in his crosshairs once it's just the two of you again.
from dangerspouse :
Thanks for the notes. I agree fully: the EC must go. The reason for its existence is long past, and now can only do damage.
from raven72d :
The Electoral College needs to be done away with. We also need proportional representation. And I wouldn't be averse to seeing the Senate done away with.
from musikoid :
Thanks (on the reinforcement.) I felt a little guilty after I submitted it, thinking maybe I went too far. I was definitely into letting them know that they hard hurt me, and I didn't feel it right to let that slide. Hopefully it won't trigger any weirdness. I also found out that I only owe the clinic $78 at this point, so I can take care of that toward the end of this month and the next.
from musikoid :
Well yeah - unless you have particular ties to Montana, I personally wouldn't want to put myself in the position of having to deal with this guy, if it were me. I kinda feel weird saying that, not really knowing the entire situation (and being a father myself) but it just seems like his grasp on positive family love is very tenuous, if he even has a concept of this at all. You don't need to put up with total abuse, you're better than that, and life's too short for that shit.
from musikoid :
Then - returning to TX, where I assume you have some "people" - may be the better alternative. I just wonder if there's some third place you can go, not to have to be with this monster.
from musikoid :
And thank you for the condolences.
from musikoid :
I got your email & read your entry. I'll probably answer your email soon. But mainly, it seems a change is in order (from my viewpoint anyway) - I just don't know the situation in TX well enough to know what you'll be returning to if you go back there.
from musikoid :
That's a pretty long. It seems that (if you were serious when you wrote this) if he were a registered sex offender, you could find this out. That's public information; you would just have to look him up.
from musikoid :
You should be able to get in with the old password now. I forgot I had changed it when I was underground. There has been a death in the family.
from dangerspouse :
TWO YEAR online romance? Damn. That's a lot of vibrator dating. I'd be irritated too.
from integrating :
Excellent question! Hadn't seen him since 2005. The year I first lost my mind, at his hands, first time I was arrested in the yard and taken to a psychiatric hospital in another city. First of many.
from musikoid :
How long had it been since you'd seen your dad before you moved up to live with him?
from musikoid :
My dad favored my brother who has some similar qualities in terms of knowing how to intimidate me. He isn't abusive though, more like manipulative. Yeah your dad's a cranky old guy, that's for sure.
from jimbostaxi :
I'm trying :0)
from musikoid :
How old is your dad? He sure seems like a crotchety old codger. I have security freezes on all my credit accounts, I was subjected to identity theft in 2003. I'd remove the freezes but I lost the pin numbers for all three credit bureaus, and last I checked I was in the position of trying to prove that *I* was not the identity thief. They can have my credit for all I care, but now that I have a bank account again finally, I might have to start worrying a bit.
from jimbostaxi :
Yeah crossing my fingers :0)
from integrating :
How aggravating!!! An entire entry gone!
from musikoid :
Is anybody besides me having trouble with DiaryLand navigation? My most recent entry at this time is http://musikoid.diaryland.com/uare.html but I'm pretty sure you can't access it except by pasting that url into your browser. It doesn't show up in the archives are on index.html. I'm experiencing a few other sources of frustration here as well, so I thought I'd "ask around." Apologize for leaving the same note for everybody - but in this case, it seems the thing to do. Since I have two diaries, the complications are compounded, and so I'm not sure how much of the current navigation issues are mine & mine alone. Let me know, please, if you can. Thanks.
from dangerspouse :
My god. You fell, and your dad was worried about CHEESE? You don't need meds. It's your environment that's crazy, not your mind.
from musikoid :
Try clicking on the "archives." All the entries should show up, and you can click on "Tasteful" and any entries before and after.
from musikoid :
Where has your dad been? Seriously, I ask that question. Where has he been in life? How could he live so long and not know what FYI stands for?
from jimbostaxi :
Don't let their angel looks fool you ! Satans spawn they are lol :0) on a serious note thank you! You as well :0)
from cherrygash :
Just read your ptsd post,,,wow. Its been awhile, just wanted to say hi.
from musikoid :
I tried to email you but it bounced. It's happened to others who have a Yahoo address. They think I'm a spammer.
from dangerspouse :
You're darn right I'd feed you if you made the effort to come to my house! You can even eat with the good spork. And even if I'm not religous, I'd take you to a Catholic church so you wouldn't have to go alone (they serve wine, right?). Thanks for the notes :)
from musikoid :
I'm with you on the Xanax. "Too good." I quit benzos cold turkey on May 10, 2004. I was on 6mg klonopin a day for eight years, it was crazy. The benzo withdrawals are the worst - that I know of, anyway. I don't know anything about alcohol or heroin withdrawals.
from musikoid :
I only took it for a couple weeks, when I got it at an Immediate Care thingamabob. It reminded me of marijuana. My doctor didn't want to give it to me though at the time - probably because I liked it.
from musikoid :
Wonder if it's lithium. Oh - and by the way - I think you found the right line. :)
from musikoid :
About jazz, some of it can be harsh and grating, but other jazz is soothing. I mostly listen to classical, and sometimes Classic Rock. Lately I've been getting into more bluegrass just because it's my neck of the woods. I only write Musical Theatre these days because I am trying to revive the genre. (Actually, I got tired of everybody saying my music reminded them of "show tunes" so I just started calling it Musical Theatre (like on SoundCloud) so's I could claim I was doing so on purpose.) About PTSD, I also have that diagnosis as a result of a prolonged assault of a certain kind. I get triggered whenever the "safety net" of life appears to have been removed, and when there's a factor of not-knowing involved (as in how long it's going to last). When triggered, the anxiety increases with time, unless I take specific measures to deal with it. I also had an accident twelve years ago, and so I've got you beat by two years on the non-driving. Yours was more horrible than mine. Nobody was in the car I hit, it was parked, the air bags saved my life, my car was crunched. I sold it the next day for fifty bucks and a ten-speed bike. I'm probably going to get a car though again at some point within the next year or so. It would be nice to have around these parts. Congrats on yours. I've not been diagnosed BPD truthfully, I just know a bit about it. I think that this guy Jim across from me might be BPD - but all these diagnoses are approximate. I think I'm mildly bipolar and pretty much ADHD. But you know - all those boxes - they can be useful but they don't define us. I could say I'm an INFJ or an Enneagram 4 with a 3 wing, but I think of all the adjectives, Introvert says the most. I don't get depressed very easily. That could be a Male thing, I don't know. If I see it coming, I stave it off with some kind of toy, tool, or project. Well - just spinning off of what you wrote. Thank you for the PTSD entry and the information in your note. Your parents are bugging me a bit - but don't worry about repeating yourself, with me.
from dangerspouse :
I'm glad you found that Catholic channel on TV. I hope it reduces some of your longing.
from musikoid :
God, I so totally think you're a beautiful person, it's a wonder we've both been on D-Land this long and had not yet met. I only hesitate to say that because I have a slight streak of BPD myself and I don't want to later find out that this is only one of those instances. But I don't *think* it is, so I kinda took the plunge. Anywaze, I didn't read "Sometimes ya just gotta let it roll" carefully enough last night to comment, but I just read "PTSD" and then went back to read "..let it roll" & now I understand you and your life a bit better. I want to take this opportunity to warn you that I'm a very poor reader. They say it has to do with ADHD, but all throughout my life I got very low scores in reading comprehension and couldn't pass classs that required a lot of reading. My mind spaces out over the page and it takes me forever to get through articles, chapters, short stories, and what-have-you. It's really kind of intellectually painful to have to read anything that's substantial at all, but I've taken to just reading smaller articles on the Internet and absorbing information semi-consciously through my intuitive mind until something halfway meaningful surfaces. It's hard to explain. They call it "ADHD" sometimes, and when I was doing the N.A. program (which I hate) my sponsor at the time also confessed that he had this condition, and described the exact same thing, how it was difficult for him to get through seminary school and get whatever certification it is that pastors get before they can have their own church and all that. OK. So I might not be able to read many entries very quickly, but I already know that you're an unbelievably outstanding human being, and I'd like to take a break/breath right now and comment on these two entries after a slightly longer period of contemplation. But first - who is A.J.? Your son? I've not yet gotten the connection. Also - is your mother an alcoholic? The types of ghastly things she says remind me of some of the things that come out of the mouths of alcoholics, not necessarily when they've been drinking. They're the kinds of things I hear a lot from people who have hung out in a lot of bars. (That's based on my limited empirical knowledge of human behavior.) And thank you for showing up at this time in my world.
from musikoid :
Hey there! Thank you for your kind notes. It seems like you're a person who can identify with poverty. Not that there's anything wrong with being rich - I have my own issues (obviously) wow - you read all the way back to "Gift from God" - I have to admit I've only glossed over your most recent entry. I'll have to sit down and catch up with you. You must be a good reader.
from musikoid :
If you mean "line" as in putting a comment about your buddy next to his username, I burned out on those a while back. I kept thinking my "lines" were corny, and neurotically changing them until I finally removed them all in disgust. Easier on me that way, one less thing to worry about. If by "line" you mean something else, I can't help you there, unfortunately. :P
from musikoid :
Oh - I saw your note to cloudy-night, and just wanted to say congrats on conquering Math. Math can be fun, you know. :)
from cloudy-night :
That was is awesome that you got a car! It still seems as if your dad is giving you grief. I hope things continue to get better for you.
from musikoid :
Sent. :)
from jimbostaxi :
Sent you and email and congrats on the wheels, I know you wrote you were going fix it up and sell it but least you got something to escape dads iron fist and wrath
from musikoid :
Sorry I intruded, we have mutual readers and I wandered over there. Your Dad sounds totally abusive and it made me mad. I hope you can get out of there soon, you shouldn't have to put up with that crap.
from jimbostaxi :
Locked up for the moment I'll send you a pass-ID if you want
from jimbostaxi :
Your dad was the lesser of 2 evils just like Hilary over trump the lesser of two evils, hey becareful of those fainting spells you could fall and get really hurt! Get that checked !
from cloudy-night :
It nothing wrong with having faith in people. You had faith that your father changed and he didn't. You don't have to blame yourself for that. I hope that you find your own place and discover happiness.
from jimbostaxi :
She loved them! I said beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Have you looked into some kind of public assistance?
from jimbostaxi :
Your dad and PAA at my job are irate dictators there's no pleasing them I have PAA temporarily gagged by his daddy but that's just till summer season ends in a week or two. When his daddy isn't around its open season on Jimbo there's no pleasing the fucking guy usually I just sit quietly and try not to explode but those days are over. Maybe try and see if you can get some common ground with him on something over here PAA seems to favor people who get him Cocaine or otherwise kiss his ass me I have no intention of getting him coke and I avoid him whenever possible hopefully I will get my hours cut enabling me to avoid him more. Good luck
from jimbostaxi :
Ty very much Hun xoxo keep your chin up it will get better !
from dangerspouse :
Yeah, take those words to heart. Particularly in this Internet Age you can get savaged almost instantly over the most trivial things. If you let all of them get to you it can paralyze you with self doubt. Bard yourself with self confidence beforehand, and resolve not to let the empty words of strangers affect you. Unless they're from me ;)
from jimbostaxi :
Guess drinking is out fell apart after a text from my oldest daughter ,, I became emotional and they let me leave a few minutes early..
from jimbostaxi :
Started to drink alittle at the job to Take the edge off
from jimbostaxi :
Dad sounds like he has some issues good luck
from cloudy-night :
I'm sorry that things aren't working in MT. I truly didn't think it would be such a bad thing. I hope your father chills out or that you find a place of your own.
from raven72d :
I hope the living situation does get better.
from raven72d :
any plans for the autumn?
from jaysthoughts :
I'm mostly just amazed that anyone is still active.
from dangerspouse :
Oh man, you poor kid. I hope the new doctor can provide you some relief.
from dangerspouse :
I do hope that was not the last time you'll have ever seen your mom. That's a very sad thought. But congrats on the successful move, and WOO HOO for no more rice and beans!! (We're ALL thankful for that one ;) )
from jimbostaxi :
Kimmmm kimmmee kimmmmer kimsterr glad your back and happy days are ahead of ya! Now all you need is a church dress lol have a great day :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Come on now move back there right now! She needs that rent money for some fast food!!!! :0) glad your happy
from cloudy-night :
Oh so you decided to move there? That's great, if that's what you want!
from dangerspouse :
Good luck with the move, kiddo. I hope it works out well for you. But yeah, doesn't moving suck? I've lost whole family members in some of my college moves. Very tragic, finding only fragments of bones years later in a box in the attic where you forgot you'd left them. Glad you got to spend time chatting with AJ! Now go back to sleep :)
from raven72d :
Snowberry is still a good word...
from cloudy-night :
Sorry to hear that you don't want to move to Montana with your father, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I'm sure he'll get over it. And to be quite honest, I don't ever remember reading an entry in which you complained about your living conditions when it was just you alone. I hope everything work out, you so cool and deserve good things!
from jimbostaxi :
I'm trying to work on the kindess thing I don't say I hate him to myself or anyone I'm letting the hate go not letting it own me thanks for the note :0)
from jimbostaxi :
U 2 good luck with that plane ride and your visit, life's too short for either of us to waste on hateful people. I wish you luck on your escape I'm digging a tunnel with a plastic fork but I will not stop until I'm free,,,the task is not insurmountable focus think of the future and you will prevail :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Yeah, I'm sad but I'll be ok It's just a temporary setback thanks for the note :0)
from cloudy-night :
I hope everything works out well in Montana for you. Describe in great detail how beautiful it is when you go, okay? :P
from dangerspouse :
What, you didn't want mayonnaise?
from jimbostaxi :
Jeez, I go away for a few days and you go and have a bday how rude!!! J/k happy bday!!!!:0)
from dangerspouse :
Oh, that Lisa!
from raven72d :
I like the story about the gum...
from dangerspouse :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Many more, kiddo :)
from jimbostaxi :
Dont be depressed maybe he will see your in dire straights and help you out , just keep on saving Kim! She would be a cruel bitch if she put you out with nowhere to go.
from jimbostaxi :
Dont be depressed maybe he will see your in dire straights and help you out , just keep on saving Kim! She would be a cruel bitch if she put you out with nowhere to go.
from cloudy-night :
I'm glad AJ came home! I'm glad you're going to Montana, hope you have a great life there. I heard it's very beautiful.
from dangerspouse :
Good luck on the move to Montana!!! I hope that really turns things around for you. Lol...what a day out with AJ. Nice of him to get you that geode. It sounds very pretty :)
from jimbostaxi :
Yippee no more ringworm !! That was sweet of AJ to bring you a present :0) moving to Montana is a good idea put all that hate behind you
from dangerspouse :
Ringworm sucks. Hope it's gone by now. Wow, 11 years since you saw your dad?? Glad you finally got a visit - he sounds like quite a guy!
from jimbostaxi :
How much did AJ spend on truck driving school? Glad he's doing good :0)
from jimbostaxi :
She's from the movie Deadpool her name is Morena Baccarin
from jimbostaxi :
Just dropped in to say hi :0)
from cloudy-night :
Wow, your family have a lot of cats and dogs! It's kind of awesome that she takes in strays, but if she doesn't seem fair to everyone that she does so. Glad you got to see your father also, that's awesome! Hope AJ will be okay out there.
from cloudy-night :
I'm glad you're doing well and that you have found a place that makes you happy. I'm sorry to hear that your aunt and cousin are giving you such a hard time. I'm pretty sure that you'll find a nice car and an awesome place to live. You're a good person and despite what others may say, God blesses good people. Just continue to be patient, it will all come!
from cloudy-night :
Thanks, but I'm always around. I just don't post much anymore. I have no idea if I'm depressed or not, I may be. I should probably go and see someone to check. How have you been?
from jimbostaxi :
Thanks :0)
from jimbostaxi :
I was just wondering where you been :0) we have to look good for the public that's why we're changing our life! We owe it to them! you'll be fine I'm sure were both determined individuals ! Keep us updated on your progress
from jimbostaxi :
Yep I know the feeling , you will be free of her tyranny one day just keep saving and planning :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Saint James is me of course :0)
from jimbostaxi :
One hundred lashes for you!!! I know it seems like and extreme punishment but it will help you remember the correct Is Saint James! :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Your right :0) I hope they do get back together
from raven72d :
I've been in John Cusack's position. Fairly often.
from raven72d :
I did like "Adult World"--- clever small film.
from jimbostaxi :
Yawn,,, it's Sunday night or I should say Monday A.M very boring here so I come check out Dland peeps and play video games till it gets busy. I clicked on Bethshort life is and enigma correct? Yeah very interesting read. Sometimes I just randomly pick them from board of who's online,, sometimes I click and I click and I click till I get dizzy,,,,, oops passed out oh yeah I get click happy the later it gets :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Confess you want sam and company dead and will piss on there graves. You got to give the guy something I interesting to hear !:0) Peace
from dangerspouse :
Yeah, why IS it your chore, huh? C'mon sister, stand up to those piggish men and force them to pitch in! (Er...don't tell my wife I said that, ok?) :)
from jimbostaxi :
it was and emotional meeting everyone was dragged out of bed so mike could make the announcement. it makes me feel old lol. In nine months we will have a baby in the compound,,,,then ill cry that i cant sleeep ugh
from dangerspouse :
Sam took a shower?! Oh my god, are you sure? You better check Snope.com, it could be a hoax. Wow! :)
from dangerspouse :
Yes. You did the right thing. You did.
from jimbostaxi :
My condolences on the passing of King :9( Bella swallowed something and it messed up her intestines she had to be rushed into surgery but she's home now.
from dangerspouse :
I'm very sorry to hear that. Dogs are loved as much as people in many families, mine included. Losing them is hard, sometimes for a long time. My condolences. RIP, King.
from raven72d :
I'm not a sportsball fan, so I have no idea when the Super Bowl may be.
from raven72d :
Like Cowboy Mardi Gras, but with everyone dressed as Argentine gauchos and throwing bolos. There may be tango dancing, too.
from jimbostaxi :
Listen to me !!!! Hell has flames and a sulphur smell which would probably smell better than where you are :0)
from raven72d :
Gaucho Mardi Gras just might be more fun than Cowboy Mardi Gras.
from dangerspouse :
Setting aside a regular amount of money for yourself with an eye towards escaping into a better life may be one of the best decisions you could make. I hope you stick with it.
from cloudy-night :
Sam can eat, eh? So Kris drives like a wild man, seems like a lot of people do. You both be safe!
from raven72d :
Stay out of that vehicle--- it sounds scary: a disaster waiting to happen!
from raven72d :
Very yummy brunch dish!
from jimbostaxi :
Ooooooo you will be so sorry !!!! I'm holding you to that bald head thing :0)
from jimbostaxi :
I'm thinking more like lava lamps and lots of mirrors j/k :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Man cave ,,,, drug den,,,, decisions decisions :0)
from dangerspouse :
My wife calls mine "cake balls" too. Weird.
from jimbostaxi :
Oh man which crayon,,,,,,,, the red one its cherry !
from cloudy-night :
I'm glad that you're able to laugh about it. I get so easily embarrassed that I may have never done so. Oh, the suit is for my brother's wedding in April.
from raven72d :
You need to visit--- spring or autumn, away from the heat and humidity.
from dangerspouse :
At least you had tequila. Ole, and Happy 2016! :)
from cloudy-night :
Glad you weren't seriously injured. Can't believe he would just through some fireworks into the bonfire. I bet you will all laugh about it next year.
from jimbostaxi :
Jeez . Buy some safety goggles for next year that was s close one!
from jimbostaxi :
Hey happy new year! !!! I'm trying ;0)
from raven72d :
All the best for the Year Sixteen!
from raven72d :
It's like being memorable...but more as a concept...
from jimbostaxi :
Someone told me her boyfriend was the one who got her hooked on the shit... Very sad,,
from jimbostaxi :
Did you say red head? Well that explains everything ..., :9)
from jimbostaxi :
Should he have been stabbed and blood leaked out on seats and the company had to clean the car, the company would be annoyed he didn't go outside in the street to bleed. The nerve of that guy! How dare he leave his blood here!!!!!
from raven72d :
Gyros. Indeed. With lots of tahine sauce.
from jimbostaxi :
Make that silver dollars I want to cover them good no one gets a free show! :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Kitchen and bathroom finally are unpacked !!! I found my pants too!!! Now the shirts I'm still looking for :0( I might have to go topless tommorow it will not be a pretty sight. Maybe I'll put a couple of quarters over my nipples :0)
from cloudy-night :
I hope Kris went to the dinner at the church. Being alone during the holidays is sad...
from jimbostaxi :
Thanks for the notes :9)
from raven72d :
Merci! Thanks for the birthday wishes!
from jimbostaxi :
Buy a shirt that says "grow the fuck up " :0)
from raven72d :
The Anarchist Raccoons are fierce little guys!
from cloudy-night :
I'm glad the dog is and it was very kind of you to come to his/her aid. Those bikers seem like real asses. So you're converting to Catholicism, awesome! I am a church jumper, so I don't really have a particular church. I love the architecture of Catholic churches, especially neo gothic churches ( bet I'd have a lovely time in most of German and part of Italy, France and England). I'm really glad that you found something that makes you happy and that all that your credit is back intact. Oh yeah and thanks for the note, I'm truly going to consider what you said.
from dangerspouse :
Bless you for helping that poor dog. I say that as a biker, too. That was unconscionable. I hope all three of the little guys are ok.
from dangerspouse :
LOL!! Is this your first experience of boys' appetites?
from cherrygash :
Hi :). Hope ur doin ok! Found a song, duno if ull like it. Wolf larsen-if i be wrong. Its different but i like the lyrics.
from jimbostaxi :
I'm Evil to the core :0)
from jimbostaxi :
What a bitch! So she lets those 2 fuckers get away with murder and unloads all her frustration on you that's a load of shit. Start moving all her shit around so she can't find it least you'll be getting silent revenge when you see her walking around the house yelling where's my damn keys! I thought they were right here.
from dangerspouse :
It's good to see you've posted again, but not so good seeing the contents. I'm sorry you're in such discontent right now. Do you have any hope or plans at all to move back out on your own in the near future?
from raven72d :
Good luck on getting the credit card thing cleared up!
from dangerspouse :
Jesus, you're a two legged pit bull, you are. Remind me next time I go on a credit card stealing spree to avoid your purse. Go get 'em!
from jimbostaxi :
Too bad you can't drop by that house in Houston to see them face to face!
from cherrygash :
Like that smashing pumpkins song :)
from cherrygash :
Hi, how are you doing? Sorry ive been gone for awhile. Hope ur doing ok
from jimbostaxi :
Any time away from the hell hole is vacation :0) I would freak out if someone who was changing a dressing on my back made a comment like that! I would be like get me some fucking mirrors! I want to see what's going on! :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Identity theft that sucks so sorry to read your going through that, honestly if your poor like I am then most likely your identity was stolen from somebody you know. The neighbors kids, your family members, somebody who knows your routine. Least that's what I've seen in my area good luck!
from jimbostaxi :
It makes me so pissed off they don't say anything to him, but if they see you waiting a sheet of paper on the video surveillance the next day there like " hey that sheet of paper is 4 cents each!! WTF!
from raven72d :
A fountain soda! I'd love one! Haven't had one in years! There must be some retro-hipster place here in town that'll do one... Also--- loved the original Mad Max films, but I still have to see the new one!
from dangerspouse :
I miss fountain sodas! I don't know where one would get one around here any more, though. Guess I'll just stick a straw in the fountain at the mall and pretend it doesn't taste like pennies, but Coke. Good luck with the STUPID FUCKING FTC. Jesus.
from dangerspouse :
Oh man, ID theft is the fucking worst. Hang in there, kid. At least you have someone to sing to you :)
from raven72d :
Happy Saturday in return!
from cloudy-night :
Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Identity thieves are the worst. They steal your identity and fuck up everything! I hope they find them and prosecute them to full extent of the law! It will be okay, don't worry.
from jimbostaxi :
Yes it's very exciting !! Now I just have to see her !! :0)
from cloudy-night :
Poor AJ, hope he finds someone much more deserving of him.
from raven72d :
You're right--- updating iTunes is a risky affair.
from raven72d :
I do try to entice people I've known here to come back to the site. It has come to mean a lot to me over the years.
from raven72d :
I just hope the site stays up and in basic functioning order. After all these years, I'm still a user.
from integrating :
enurta...I can't leave you a msg so I hope you read this. I'm sorry I wrote that entry. I'm sure you meant well and I thank you for reading and taking the time to leave a msg.
from enurta :
will stop reading now so I won't make you more angry/upset. wish you all the best.
from enurta :
hey, I'm sorry. didn't mean it like that at all. I just meant that psychological stress has extreme effects on the human body. (speaking from experience). it was just a suggestion trying green tea with honey and soymilk, because it's natural. b12 deficiency causes numbness and tingling sensations, that's why I wrote soymilk. honey is a natural remedy that calms and heals the body. and herbal teas...well. they are awesome. just trying to help. I'm sorry you felt so offended. I am not telling you that the pain is not real, I am telling you that the stress in your life is creating the pain - not you. the pain is real. just trying to help. never mind. and btw, been reading your diary for many years. of course I do not know you. but I am reading about what's going on and I can relate. that's why I wrote. take care. xoxo
from jimbostaxi :
Thanks for the note, :0) it's funny how that works The people who are suppose to care the most care the least.
from cloudy-night :
Thanks! I had fun. You shouldn't be afraid to express yourself, this is your diary after all.
from jimbostaxi :
That is the hazard of and unlocked diary your are open to all sorts of suggestions and comments. You can always lock up and just give passwords to who you want this way you can write what you feel about whatever you want. I haven't updated much myself some of that is for the same reason as your feeling now and the other reason is I'm just so lazy! :0) take care feel better!
from enurta :
the pain is psychological...you suffer from PTSD right? you need to speak to someone, write, about everything. just purge it all out you know? then you'll feel better. I found you through a note I read on another user's notespage....just try to remain calm and the pain and numbness and shit will go away. the pills won't help. they'll make everything worse and turn you into an addict as well. have you tried drinking green tea with soymilk and honey? it helps. never drink coffee.
from raven72d :
briefcases, purses, backpacks, carry-on bag for an escape to a distant city... any of those things would be good.
from raven72d :
I once had a truck in front of me on a high, narrow bridge suddenly begin shedding machine parts onto the roadway. Skidded to a stop almost touching the railing. Not the best morning of my life.
from raven72d :
The @Nihilist_Arbys Twitter feed is a favourite of mine.
from peggypenny :
Happy belated Birthday. What kind of music do you enjoy? Why not just dump some shampoo on Sam's dirty dry head?
from peggypenny :
"Have To." "My whole life has been about 'have to."
from candoor :
i randomly happened by close enough to your birthday to say happy birthday, hope you are still celebrating... it's ok, i don't know you either :)
from raven72d :
Thanks!
from jimbostaxi :
Happy bday!
from peggypenny :
Johnny Depp in new movie "Mortdecai" "Do I need help? I have a fucking man servant."
from jimbostaxi :
:0) hey Ty for the note I see you have your hands full where your living now!
from raven72d :
People who text from room to room in a house baffle me. I've seen people text down a bar to one another. That's just...bizarre.
from raven72d :
Deep space cow tipping is always a worthwhile hobby.
from raven72d :
Glad to hear things are going well. What's the hill country like? I've only been there very briefly...
from raven72d :
What's your April like?
from cherrygash :
Damn sorry to hear about the hair. a few years back I went to some random lady, gave her a picture and all, to get a pixie cut....I swore my boyfriend would dump me. It was close to a mullet. I then went to someone else who had to shape it...and it was to a guys length. Every two weeks I went back to have the hair shaped. It was a little longer on top so I'd put it in a baby pony,,,my friend called me samurai. nice. you have a very positive outlook! Hope that hair is growing back fast! Lol
from jimbostaxi :
Time to invest in some hats :0/ don't let her cut your hair anymore.
from raven72d :
Well, you're part of the group of people I enjoy getting comments from here.
from cloudy-night :
Happy to hear that you and your family are adjusting well.
from thruthecrowd :
Thank you. I haven't left you many messages since you followed my diary, but I've appreciated each of your notes <3
from cherrygash :
When u said, I love saying white trash, I split. Glad things r cooler rite now. Hope u can get a hold of a car! Congrats on that!!
from cherrygash :
Thx 4 the message! I'm still here. Barely. How'd the move go? Hope u r doing better. Let me know how Dr goes. Can you recommend any good songs? I'm bored with my own music
from jimbostaxi :
Im very happy all is going good now you get that license back and you will be set! :0)
from cloudy-night :
Hey, so you're moving? You seem excited, I'm happy for you!
from raven72d :
I might go as purely an observer--- as a single male of a certain age, there's no way I'd be welcome even as a paying participant. I'll stay masked and silent and clothed. There's no way under God's green sky I'd ever try to speak to anyone there. I value what's left of my self-esteem.
from raven72d :
I rather liked "Lucy". I wish it had developed hurt character more, but I did enjoy it.
from raven72d :
I do hope the housing situation improves for you...
from jimbostaxi :
thanks im hoping I don't have to I hate going to them. Im waiting another day or two to see how I feel.:0(
from cherrygash :
Hey thx 4 askin. Not doing good Right now. my depression is a bitch. Dealing w/med changes and a newtherapist. I feel like falling apart basically. But I simply can't do that. Very irresponsible. trying to hang on and not cut.
from peggypenny :
Quoting movies is wonderful fun. Next time you are meeting someone for the first time: "I run a couple of newspapers, what do you do?" (Citizen Kane)
from peggypenny :
OMG, another person that quotes movie lines. "It's not about you, Wyatt." "It rubs the lotion on it's skin."
from raven72d :
Well, I do read along...
from thruthecrowd :
Just wanted to say good luck with your review, and let you know i've heard from higher ups that if you aren't working substantially they have a heck of a time proving you can and can't cut you off. <3 Reiterate to the that nothing has changed since your last review, etc. the burden is on them to prove otherwise.
from jimbostaxi :
Heloooooooo can you here me now? How about now?,,,,, now? :0) thanks for the shout out!
from dangerspouse :
Yo yo yo! Shouts right back atcha, kiddo! :)
from amidstgrace :
No it wasn't just you, I like a good movie that leaves you in tears, that makes you feel something, you know ..
from amidstgrace :
Yes, it was The Fault in our Stars :)
from amidstgrace :
I liked that movie as well :)
from dangerspouse :
LOL! Viva la difference! Ok, I'm off watch the entire Rocky series back to back. Always gets me all choked up, y'know? "AAAAAADRIANNNNNNN!!!" *sniff*
from dangerspouse :
What the hell is it with chicks and tear jerkers?
from jimbostaxi :
Hope you get your ham for the holiday! Kris and his road will pull up to the wrong guy and things are going get ugly. Hope you have a great holiday and no one else sits in your spot :0)
from cherrygash :
Hey im alive and kicking. Thanks for asking! Actually got in this new pill called fetzima. Its been doing great things for me. Having some therapist problems but trying to get over it and move on! Doesnt sound like ur doing the best, im sorry. Im always here to lend an ear.
from raven72d :
I always love finding new entries from you.
from raven72d :
How is the approach to Xmas going for you?
from dangerspouse :
Thank you very much for the note of condolence. That was very thoughtful of you, and much appreciated.
from cloudy-night :
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Sorry for the late reply, I have been sitting on my lazy butt playing video games for the past few weeks. It will be very hard to find grants, that is a job in itself. But twenty percent is a huge piece of the pie and for each grant, whoa baby! I would suggest you find out about the grants by going through local organizations that have a similar cause. Try to go through a smaller organization because those big ones will probably give you a run around. I mean if you get a grant, that's taking money away from them. I hope that the pain you were feeling has subsided. Later!
from dangerspouse :
Hey, I just saw you added me as a Fave. Thanks very much, that's so flattering! I'll return the favor cause, y'know, I'm a whore that way.
from jimbostaxi :
Hey! Have a happy thanksgiving :0)
from dangerspouse :
Oh my god, you poor thing. I hope things work out for you with the car, the pain pills, the baby-mama drama, etc. I know you don't have food and the house, and not as many people either, but I wish you a happy Thanksgiving anyway. Hang in there!
from jimbostaxi :
Hey my friend! :0) just you and Kris for Thanksgiving ? Uh oh turkey and gravy all over the walls I can see it now as he goes into a rage cause his stuffings too lumpy! Just make sure you keep the big knife on your side of the table ok?
from cloudy-night :
Wow, the car is messed up again? Sheesh, maybe it's time for a new one. Your son really does need help, PTSD is very serious, very serious indeed. Hope he finds peace, it seems war even victimizes those who are lucky to arrive home safely. I'm glad you're getting out and exercising, that's awesome! Sorry to hear about you and Tom, maybe Ryan will declare his undying love for you one these days. :P Later.
from cloudy-night :
Glad to hear that the car is fixed. Angry to hear how your son yells at you. I know he's going through a lot, but I would imagine that he realizes how much you love him and all that you're doing for him. Your youngest son seems very giving.
from cherrygash :
Gosh I'm so sorry about those pills. I've taken some thru the years so I can relate....damn heartburn. And like you said, on a empty stomach can get u real sick fast. When you talked about the sleeplessness and thoughts of regret, etc. I am experiencing rite now as well. It blows. Sorry ur parents don't provide the support you need. All I can say is, we don't pick our family. Trying to survive on this, hard as fuck. "I feel like I've said this before. Just forgive me, I'm slightly damaged." Nice
from cloudy-night :
So you can't sleep either, eh? You shouldn't worry so much, it isn't healthy. So you decided to stay with your son, I think you made the right decision. The war messed up a lot of soldiers and they have no idea how to deal with the stress or anxiety. Count your blessings that he's still a functional member of society. Your friend Phil was probably looking forward to having you as a roommate and was probably a bit disappointed. Things will get better between you two. Sorry to hear that things with your parents aren't so hot, but that's okay. Parents are human beings and have flaws. I think it's something we all learn as we get older and they divulge more about themselves or when we become more aware of the world around us. Derek does seem cool, he's a loyal friend. Oh and you shouldn't apologize about mentioning your potential beau, go for it! Life's short and he seems to be getting things in order. Well, I wrote enough. Later.
from cherrygash :
Ps- have a rx for klonopin...not so much the hydro. opps
from cherrygash :
Stress sucks. My t says it's all about coping skills. Blah! Heres using better coping skills for stress...or just saying, Fuck off. Which is easier!
from cherrygash :
Hi~ How are you feeling?
from cherrygash :
I wish I had your will power! Not eating after six? Damn, i thought 8 was pretty good. Sorry about your brother. Was his name spelled that way too?
from cloudy-night :
"I'd rather be hungry than fat." Maybe I should try that. Hell, I eat until I fall asleep. So you're dealing with the diabetes pretty well, eh? I am sorry to hear that your son hasn't gotten his car fixed yet, does he plan on doing so anytime soon? You haven't heard from your friend/love interest? Hope things are going well.
from cloudy-night :
Thanks for the note, I appreciate it. Your note cheered me up, happy to hear from you even if you type "..." :) You love interest seems cool. I've learned that a man can't be defined by his pass acts, but I think it's good to play it cool. Don't rush things, getting to know one another is the best thing you can do for yourself. If you reconnected after twenty years, what will another year of talking and learning about one another make?
from jimbostaxi :
Did kris ever fix the car?
from jimbostaxi :
No job, no car, no money put some space between you and him Cause it sounds like another headache :0)
from jaysthoughts :
Just checking to see how many diarylanders still actually check their notes and stay active.
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note! :0)
from cherrygash :
Oh you were telling me about the 200 dollar deposit u made and then later realized they had put it down as 20 instead of 200. I'm sorry to hear about your son. That must be a difficult situation. I'm sorry. *Hugs*
from jimbostaxi :
Hi, thanks for the note! :0) sorry to read that your still in that bad situation and now his car his broke on top of everything else that sucks. By me things are finally calming down. Hopefully I will be moving soon after living out of boxes since December so I'm thinking happy positive thoughts right now. My fingers are crossed!! :o) maybe your dad's place might be less stressful than where you are now. Good luck hun
from cloudy-night :
So his car broke down, eh? He hasn't tried to get it fixed yet? Why isn't he talking to you? Do your stomach feel better now? I hope things are well and that your son will be okay.
from cherrygash :
Hey sorry to hear about all ur problems with that guy. He a roomie or boyfriend? I can't believe ur deposit was jacked like that! An honest mistake? Hmm..
from cherrygash :
I am so sad about robin Williams also. Such a gifted person, so lost...very unsettling that it had to come to that.
from cherrygash :
I'm sorry you're going thru such a crap time. I've been going thru the "parnents" issue with my therapist. it's fucking hard to want to change people, when you can't. We dont pick our families, we have to endure their bullshit at times, but strong boundaries are key. They may want to help us but end up hurting us. I don't know how many times they've broken my heart but didn't seem to know it. Like My mom won't admit to anything. "I didn't say that", " I don't remember that". So I end up giving in and not trying to prove I'm right cuz I'll just go crazy if I do. Being the most honest is best, even if it's hard to hear. That's just my little anecdote. I hope you feel better and see that you're not broken, and ur in it to win it. By gad that's how I survive.
from cloudy-night :
Have you tried putting fruit in your oatmeal? Maybe that will help mask the taste or lack thereof. I'm sorry to hear that you and your son are still having problems, did he go see a psychiatrist or counselor? I hear a lot of military vets are in the same state of mind he's in. Maybe talking it out will help him. I hope that the eating schedule and lower dosage of medication works out. Be safe, okay? Oh yeah, and who doesn't call their parents when frustrated or bother, it's only natural that you do so.
from cloudy-night :
When my mama found out she had diabetes, she was checking her blood sugar all the time. It's only natural, to fear such things. But don't go crazy over it because checking once or twice a day should be enough. I just don't want you to worry yourself to ruin, it will be okay. :)
from cherrygash :
Beautiful lie- 30 seconds to mars
from jimbostaxi :
Im sorry to hear about the diabetes and gout :0( jeez its always something! Take care and thanks for the notes ! :0)
from cherrygash :
James Taylor-fire and rain
from cherrygash :
Fuck. I'm sorry. I said a lil prayer for u.
from cloudy-night :
Gout too, you've got a double whammy! But that's fine, just drink a lot of cherry juice or a cup of warm water with two tablespoons of baking soda and it will help.
from cloudy-night :
What type of diabetes do you have, hope it isn't too serious! Please take care of yourself, I would be sad if I never heard from you.
from jimbostaxi :
:0) im so burned!!! Its so much funnnnn i want to share !!! Please,,,,,, :0) help me!!
from cherrygash :
Eve 6 - inside out
from cherrygash :
I love best deceptions! Listen to Wherever you will go by Charlene soraia also The calling sings it as well.
from cloudy-night :
Hope you had a great holiday and Dashboard Confession are awesome! Although, I haven't listened to any of their recent songs.
from jimbostaxi :
Hes a fool just talking smack!
from jimbostaxi :
Ty! :0) its pretty nice she did a good job, I'll try and post a better pic so you can make out the details.
from cloudy-night :
Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time and that your son is as well. Why doesn't he go visit a therapist? I know how things are going with the V.A, but I'm sure that he can go somewhere outside of the V.A. I hope he will be okay and don't cause you any harm, mentally or physically. Take care!
from cherrygash :
Remember this one? Black hole sun- Soundgarden
from cherrygash :
Hang in there...Ive been around explosive ppl, like walking on egg shells. Dont let him get you down. And don't take his bullshit!
from cloudy-night :
So, how is your back feeling now? I hope it feels better!
from cherrygash :
I just listened to heros. I like it, the concept of it is cool. Have you heard Wasteland by Needtobreathe? one of my current favorites.
from cherrygash :
Sorry it's been so long! Happy be-lated! I'm gonna look those songs up. Right now I'm sick as a dog. I hope they gave more med 4 ur back...that really bites.
from jimbostaxi :
Happy bday! Glad your moms feeling better :0)
from cloudy-night :
Sorry to hear things aren't going well. I hope that your mother will be alright. God willing, she will live a long time. I hope that by time you read this, all those negative thoughts are gone. But I'm sorry that you're suffering, I really am.
from cherrygash :
Para Para Paradise :)
from cherrygash :
You take care. Oh and Yellow.... Freaking awesome.
from jimbostaxi :
How u feeling? Better i hope :0) hey that roommate thing sounds good!
from cherrygash :
I'll email u! Thanks 4 the lovely comments
from cherrygash :
Im sure I dont know as music as you but we should talk. Id like to know more.
from raven72d :
definitely try it!
from jimbostaxi :
Glad to read Kris calmed down :0)
from raven72d :
Boiled crawfish-- yes! Just make sure to get it with something like Zatarain's crawfish boil in the water while it's being done. It should come with boiled potatoes and maybe corn on the cob.
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note! Yeah, i really hope it looks that good when its on me, this will be my first one so it should be interesting especially with all that black shading. Dland- is my short hand for Diaryland :0) what do u guys do in Dandyland?
from cloudy-night :
Hmmm, never seen Trueblood, must be a great show. Glad to hear you and Kris are getting long. Also glad to hear that A.J is happy and has time to go out and enjoy youth. As far as the money thing goes, don't fret. When you're that young, you're never sensible when it comes to money. He will become wiser in time. I hope that you enjoy the party, even if you won't be able to stay long. Hope you had a goodnight.
from cherrygash :
Sorry to hear uve been sick. :(
from cloudy-night :
So you got food poisoning? I hope you feel better. So, you decided to leave? Glad you were able to make a decision.
from jimbostaxi :
Hope your feeling better food poisioning sucks! Your in tense situation now just make sure you dont jump in a worse situation far away
from cloudy-night :
Quite the predicament to be placed in. I hope that things work out. Sorry to hear that you're so worried.
from jimbostaxi :
:0) np anytime!
from jimbostaxi :
Sometimes is hard to say no to the people we care about,but that move sounds like you will be in a bad spot in the long run so dont do it!
from jimbostaxi :
Thats a good idea! :0) that would make them runaway and hide. They will miss me when i move i guarantee you the next people wont be as mellow as me.
from cloudy-night :
Glad you got spend time with everyone!!!
from jimbostaxi :
:0) ty! Insanity has its perks!
from raven72d :
I'd like a beach cottage a lot.
from cherrygash :
Hey just wanted to say hey and sorry that uve been sad. Wish u brighter days
from jimbostaxi :
No problem anytime! :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Yeah, lifes not fair and all the crying I did when my mom passed just gave a wet pillow. So since Im not eloquent in the word department heres the deal CHEER UP BUDDY! Otherwise your going see a ny cab pull up there and YOUR GOING PAY FOR THE GAS!! Got it? Good! :0)
from cloudy-night :
You're right, life isn't fair. But at least you have your memories of him and even those can cause pain along with joy. Just try to embrace the joy more than the pain, he wouldn't want you crying, he would want you to be happy. So you should really try to live as best you can for the sake of his memory and for every one who loves you.
from cloudy-night :
I have also looked back fondly on the past and wondered what happen. All we can do is live for tomorrow and think fondly of yesterday.
from integrating :
AJ is great. So talented he's been posting videos of himself playing guitar and singing.
from jimbostaxi :
Sorry to read about your step mom :0(
from jimbostaxi :
Wazzuppp bud, ty for the note! It was pretty cool to get away from work and hang out with the kid. Im going have to plan another adventure to somewhere new now. Hows things with A.J ?
from cloudy-night :
Sorry to hear about your fall. It sounds really painful, maybe you should go to a doctor if your back is aching so much.
from cloudy-night :
Always read the small print. I learned that there is no such thing as a free lunch, someone has to pay the bill. That just seems wrong to present it as a gift...
from raven72d :
It is wonderfully fun! A favourite film of mine, too.
from cloudy-night :
I will hang in there, thanks. I am sorry that your son's car is down. There are so many good things about living in rural areas, but the bad thing is that nothing is in walking distance. Hope you find a way to get around. I think your son may need some help and I hate to say this, but you should take his treats so lightly. He has been through a lot overseas and he definitely needs help of some sort. Please forgive me if I sound sound rude or judgmental, I'm just concerned for you both. If I have spoken out of line, let me know and I'll never say such things again. As for the insomnia thing, sometimes I don't go to bed until 4am or even 5am, so I won't be able to give any useful advice.
from jimbostaxi :
Yep, its very sad he was young and had his whole life ahead of him. I was told this wasnt his first time trying to kill himself he was hospitalized a few times for psychotic behavior.
from cherrygash :
"Hell ya i bought myself some chocolate" love it. i do the same thing! this year though i made a cheesecake.
from jimbostaxi :
Do i say xanax ??? I meant a pocket full of spandex!! Hahaha ;0)
from cloudy-night :
Happy V-day to you also. I bought myself some chocolate as well, but then again... I buy it everyday. :P
from cherrygash :
~hugs back, ty
from cloudy-night :
Sorry that you are in such pain. Don't be hard on yourself, you seem like a great mom. You did the best you could and I know they love you to death.
from raven72d :
thank you!
from jimbostaxi :
Thanks !! ;o)
from jimbostaxi :
Uggh i get my days confused its going be tonight!, hows that clutch Holding up?
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note:0) theres s big back yard so hopefully "bella" will have plenty of space to run around before coming inside. The fireplace will be new for me so i can only hope i dont burn the place down ! :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Thanks for the note ;0) its tough being sick and in the hospital by yourself. Nobody should have to go through something like that by themselves. Im just glad I was there for "F" in her time of need.
from cloudy-night :
I bet it was a beautiful scene. Waking up and looking out your window and seeing those pretty deers out and about. What kind of birds do you see in your backyard? I hope that you get the medicine you need, all the red tape you have to go through just to get it is crazy. Later.
from cherrygash :
hi havent been on in so long, saying hi.
from jimbostaxi :
Bud lime sucks! So hows things going?
from cloudy-night :
nice haiku :D
from jimbostaxi :
:o) no prob !
from jimbostaxi :
Were still in the old place with a mountain of boxes, cant really pressure the people involved to hurry up. Lifes just on hold so were just doing our daily routine.lets see what you got on your haiku :0)
from raven72d :
Great music trivia!
from jimbostaxi :
:0) ty for the note! I hate posting sad stuff but it was starting to get to me so i let it all out here. I read your entry your holiday was good :0)
from cloudy-night :
Oh no, you didn't offend me. You mentioned that you always felt that no one believed things you said when you were younger and how you couldn't shake that thought even now ( or did I read that wrong?). So I just wanted you to know that I believe everything you write here. That's all, hope that makes sense. Also, you seemed to have a great x-mas. I truly hope that the New Year is great to you. Sorry if my comment was a bit vague, guess I should have elaborated more. :P
from cloudy-night :
I believe everything you say, so what does that tell you?
from jimbostaxi :
Did you ask for his autograph after you fixed his drink?
from jimbostaxi :
Nice pics of A.J & Kris :0) im off monday so hopefully I can find a gift for my daughter Kelley ;0) ty for the notes!
from jimbostaxi :
I know this may make me sound like a grinch, but there will be no christmas this year with the move going on. Are you ready for christmas?
from jimbostaxi :
Yeah it sucks !!! If it was up to me we would wait until summer time! This is the worst time to move with the cold weather and the holidays coming! When we get to the new place it takes me forever to actually unpack probably because deep down im afraid we will move again! :0( how are you doing?
from jimbostaxi :
I do the samr thing wirh the notes ;0)
from cloudy-night :
It's hard to completely break ourselves of a habit, even if it's bad for us. Keep going strong and you'll be fine.
from integrating :
After talking with him this morning he seems to think everything is fine. I hope so. He really loves this girl and I'd hate to see her parents forbid them to see each other.
from jimbostaxi :
Dropped by to say hi! ;0) hope everything works out with A.J arrest and his girlfriend.
from jimbostaxi :
Good question, i bought two bottles of wine with a nice card because i felt i had to do something. I was told next time accept the help forget the gift :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Hi ;0) Yep dqs a mess i just try and ignore him! Sorry to read your Thanksgiving sucked :0(
from jimbostaxi :
Hi, im usually here in the early morning hours cause i work nights sorry i missed ya;0) and yeah Dq is always making up stuff ! Ive thought about suicide when i was very depressed and i told him im ok now but he didnt want to hear anything i had to say on the subject
from cloudy-night :
Sorry to hear that your Thanksgiving sucked. Maybe your mom is hard on you to make you strong, but who knows. I'm just sorry she treats you harshly.
from raven72d :
Thank you! Very much appreciated!
from cloudy-night :
Have a terrific Thanksgiving! Oh and let me tell you, come to MO if you want some cold weather.
from jimbostaxi :
Happy thanksgiving!
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note! :0) im sorry that your going through those problems with your son and his meds. Is it possible for someone else to pick up his meds?
from integrating :
He was given meds when he came back. He took them and he said they helped, but then he wouldn't go back for refills. He doesn't like waiting and I think there's a lot of waiting at the VA.
from cloudy-night :
I'm sorry you're going through so much with your eldest son. The war was hard on him and I can understand that, but he really needs to get help. It won't be easy, I know. But I'm sure he will able to deal with everything at some point. Although the process will probably be long and hard. I hope that things will be fine and that you take some precautions because he may inadvertently cause you harm ( *knock on wood* ).
from raven72d :
I read about the Runaways when they were first happening and loved them (major crushes on Joan and Cherie) and then saw Joan when she went solo. Sigh... I loved her then and now.
from raven72d :
She does indeed! And I'm someone who saw her when she was quite young!
from cloudy-night :
I'm glad the trip to the dentist went well. I know that I can't go an hour without soda, so good luck! Also, it's too bad you wasn't able to go to Dallas and see Pearl Jam perform, I hear they are awesome in the flesh!
from cloudy-night :
Hope your dentist visit goes well and Pearl Jam is awesome!
from jimbostaxi :
:0) my latest crush is Sofia Vergara so I know exactly how you feel! :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Goodl luck at the dentist and with eddie :0)
from raven72d :
Good luck at the dentist.
from cloudy-night :
:D
from integrating :
Well that's good you aren't depressed all the time. :)
from cloudy-night :
Thanks for the concern, I really appreciate it. I don't get that depressed often, just felt like the world was shutting down on me. I am the kind of person who worries minute and forget about my worries the next.
from jimbostaxi :
Dropped by to say hi! :0) have a great day
from cloudy-night :
I have spent many of nights listening to music on my Zune (R.I.P Zune) and the time has flied by without me being aware either. I do have a strange habit of rewinding to a particular part of a song over and over again. Was listening to "Sometimes I Want To Die" by Joydrop and I listening to a certain part for over an hour. I mean, like I rewind to just that particular part. What was a saying? Anyway, thanks for the cup of love, it really warmed me up! :D
from cloudy-night :
I hope that your ear heals eventually. We all run out of things to say eventually, but it's good to hear that you are well.
from cloudy-night :
I'm happy that things are going well! Soon winter will arrive and the ants will go away!
from raven72d :
I try to be helpful.
from cloudy-night :
Sometimes when you stop writing, that's when you have a ton of things to right about. Life is funny like that. I do a lot of writing, I just walk around with a journal now. People look at you funny when you pull out a cherry-blossom journal and begin writing. Well, the last one was pink, but I didn't mind. Um...anyway, even if nothing much is going on - I'm always glad to read what you have to say.
from cloudy-night :
No, I would never forget you guys. I just read entries and don't respond - not cool, I know.
from cloudy-night :
Hey, I'm around. I just read entries from time to time - I don't really write as much as I did before. I guess when I read my friend's entries, I should respond, eh? I will say that sometimes it's better when nothing in particular is going on in a person lives, it gives them a moment to rest and reflect. I miss you too! :D
from jimbostaxi :
Im here , just trying to get my head together before i start posting again:0) hows things with you?
from jimbostaxi :
Im here , just trying to get my head together before i start posting again:0) hows things with you?
from fuckxthis :
thanks.
from raven72d :
I've not seen that deck... But I love doing Tarot. And the Oblique Strategies cards, too.
from raven72d :
It is a delight!
from raven72d :
Yay, Donnie Darko! Also Harvey.
from jimbostaxi :
Ty :0)
from raven72d :
I love Wild Turkey...
from cloudy-night :
LOL, at least your father is trying to learn something new. Just because you're older doesn't mean you can't learn anything new. Be patient with him. :)
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note, My daughter was so broken up she cried for hours:0(
from jimbostaxi :
This is my first time having a problem like this, I just went through my contacts deleted some old ones but it looks ok ;0) ty for the advice
from jimbostaxi :
That owl was the best scarey looking one I could find :0) Awesome news about your case!! ;0)
from raven72d :
Mr. Pibb! I hadn't seen that in years! Or candy cigarettes...let alone tops or yo-yos...
from integrating :
Yeah, that one is from the same designer that made the Aquarian deck.
from raven72d :
I've always loved the Palladini deck.
from raven72d :
I'll definitely take a look! Thanks!
from cherrygash :
Hey sorry to hear about your foot. Sucks. I'm looking into getting an attorney. Thanks for your help. I hope you start to feel better.
from jimbostaxi :
Lol, none taken. Ty for the note :o) Im sorry your having a hard time with the service in your area. When you call for pickup explain to dispatch your situation and request a helpful driver, when im in the office I try and accommodate all the special needs requests. I myself help with bags but feel uncomfortable entering peoples houses unless there are special circumstances :0)
from cherrygash :
and thanks.
from cherrygash :
Hey do you think I Need an attorney or can I get by without one?
from judging :
Thank you for your kind words.
from cherrygash :
Don't worry, the super bowl sucked anyway!!! i didnt get to go out either. it didnt matter though. sorry to hear about the nightmares. fuck them.
from cherrygash :
Sorry to hear about your foot. I don't know much about it but it sounds bothersome! I hope you get it fixed up.
from cherrygash :
Why Thank You!
from cherrygash :
Be careful of that Flexeril. It can be powerful stuff! Def no operating heavy machinery. :) I used to take them for a good buzz, down them with a beer. Ah, those were the days..lol
from jimbostaxi :
How did you make out with your case?
from cloudy-night :
Don't feel bad, he's just at an age in his life where he desires true freedom. I am sure he didn't mean what he said in the text.
from cloudy-night :
Don't worry, things will turn out fine. It will be okay.
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note and for adding me :0)
from judging :
Stay strong.
from cloudy-night :
I truly hope your case gets thrown out.
from raven72d :
That's such a classic, lovely song!
from cloudy-night :
You didn't get any warning, you didn't receive any notice and now they are trying to charge you seventy dollars a month - they're crazy! Glad to hear that you're fighting it.
from raven72d :
What's the warrant *for*? Does it say? Is it just a bench warrant for a missed court appearance?
from jimbostaxi :
When I had legal questions I posted stuff on those free lawyer forums and recieved some good advice, goof luck!
from cloudy-night :
Merry X-Mas - hope it went well. So the doc didn't give you any medicine to help with the pain? That bites! I hope it isn't too painful.
from raven72d :
Thank you--- that is appreciated. Support always is. (And how will Christmas be for you this year?)
from cloudy-night :
Sorry to hear that, I hope that it heals and you don't have to go under the knife.
from raven72d :
As an appetite suppressant, yes--- though it does make me edgy. I take only one capsule a day, as opposed to the recommended 3. That seems to work without making me sleepness or anxious.
from cloudy-night :
Such a beautiful picture. Regardless of what you say, your current entries are very interesting and has a lot of content. Sorry I've been missing in action - I broke my glasses months ago and reading text books and journal entries were a bit too much for the old pair to handle.
from raven72d :
"The Letter"--- quite lovely.
from raven72d :
Thank you! Very much appreciated! And how is life?
from raven72d :
glad to hear the move is going well.
from cloudy-night :
I'm glad that you are doing well. Take care!
from cloudy-night :
I totally agree, life is short and you should do what makes you happy! I'm glad for you!!! :D
from raven72d :
congratulations!
from dangerspouse :
I hear ya.
from dangerspouse :
Were those questions rhetorical?
from raven72d :
thanks--- appreciated!
from cloudy-night :
Sorry to hear that your chest pains are induced by anxiety. Things will get better and in the mean time, you could meditate - it truly helps. I hope the good doctor give you the medicine that you truly need.
from raven72d :
I hope the back feels better and that they get your meds straight.
from raven72d :
good luck on the injections!
from cloudy-night :
So has graduating and is stepping into adulthood, very cool! Oh and I don't know when your b-day was (didn't have any internet where I was), but happy belated birthday!!! I hope you had a great time! Guess I'll find something about it when I go through all your entries!
from raven72d :
By the way: Happy Birthday!
from raven72d :
Jeff Bridges? Which film? Is it a Lebowski quote?
from cloudy-night :
We all worry and that's fine. Just don't let all that worrying drive you to the brink of madness. And you shouldn't be too hard on yourself about the novel. Thing is, many of our favorite authors had a hard time writing novels and it took them years to produce worthy works of fiction. All the mass produced tween and common day romance novels are usually written in a matter of months because there is a team of writers working on them. If you're striving towards something as great as a book, it takes time. You don't have to work on it every day. Inspiration may hit you in a week, a month, or a year. But it will get done, I believe you will write something awesome! As far as online work goes.. one of my best friend's mom is a transcript writer and it just consist of her copying transcripts for a hospital and she makes a lot of money. She works from home and she loves it, she's been doing it ever since I've know her ( I was 11 then). Maybe you can see if you can do that? I think you have to be able to type so many wpm though. Worth looking into.
from raven72d :
i'd still like to read it one day.
from raven72d :
keep writing. and...major good luck.
from cloudy-night :
Chapter 2 is done already? You're on a roll! My favorite song by the Beastie Boys is Sabotage, but fight for your right to party is the second.
from cloudy-night :
Nice to hear that the book is progressing. Glad to hear that your son had fun @ prom as well!
from cloudy-night :
You can have all those things. It's never too late to make a change. It's never too late to do what and/or get what you want. You can do it!
from enurta :
from what I've heard, they are not sending soldiers to Iraq anymore. how ever, they are still sending them to Afghanistan :(
from enurta :
I hate war. because I've been there. I've seen war. it's ugly and terrible. i hope your son AJ will have a change of heart.
from cloudy-night :
She'll call you, just give her a chance. Also, I whenever you finish that novel, let me know. I would love to read it.
from cloudy-night :
Living in darkness helps you appreciate the light. :P
from i-lost-sarah :
about the smoking-- they have these newfangled e-cigarettes over here, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electronic_cigarette -- i'll try them if you will :)
from raven72d :
Whatever DL did over the weekend has screwed up their site. I have to do a couple of extra steps to get to my site.
from integrating :
Yeah, picked up where I left off several years ago. Trying to get the creative juices running again. Trying to be the person I used to be before a bad 5 yr relationship. Fuck that! :P
from fuckxthis :
i do! old school diaryland'er, i see.
from raven72d :
I try to be of service.
from raven72d :
Why...thanks muchly! I love being able to construct stories and other wrlds.
from i-lost-sarah :
:) thank you
from cloudy-night :
That seems a bit rough. You have problems and you need medication, but he's referring to it as a crutch - harsh. It's an old axiom that the people whom you expect to love and support you most hurt you in more ways than any stranger could. I truly hope it gets better.
from the-grey-one :
thanks for the notes :)
from cloudy-night :
You're spending the weekend with your son, I'm happy to hear it. *thumbs up* :D
from enurta :
'She knows my dad and how manipulative and judgmental he can be. He has no compassion for anyone that has any kind of problem.' wow. the story of my life......just wanted to say you are not alone. my dad is like that too. <3
from stellarrobot :
Cutting people out when they are shit to you: it's some good advice. But it can also be pretty empowering to tell them when they are being a fuckwit. That takes practice.
from raven72d :
don't let him make you feel useless. just hang up.
from elusive-you :
thank you, very much! :)
from cloudy-night :
Such a pretty picture.
from cloudy-night :
Thanks! I have just started reading your journal and I really enjoy what I've read so far. You know, teenagers tend to want their space and that often means that they push away from their parents, but don't worry - it will pass.
from raven72d :
"Stairway Dreams" is lovely.
from acuteapathy :
I don't think I suffer from severe anxiety....although I was expecting someone to show up in town and was severely anxious upon their arrival. Besides that, I think I'm pretty cool or denial could be the first step to recovery. Lol. I dunno.
from raven72d :
I love it! Thanks!
from raven72d :
27 January 12 entry--- great image and fascinating text.
from raven72d :
I hope to read along with your entries. Please feel free to read mine and comment anytime.
from raven72d :
14. Jan. 12 entry---- lovely image.
from fuckxthis :
thx
from dierdre83 :
havent talked to you in a while...i feel like i hardly see you...i know i dont! I want to come see you my love!
from dierdre83 :
i feel "self imposed" lately
from purplebanana :
wow-wow-wow. The barbie in that picture scares the holy hell out of me. I think she's like a Michael Jackson poster I used to have where his eyes followed me around the room.
from dierdre83 :
i think we should have a night of evil...maybe dance around naked?...
from slimshady316 :
"Wow, I should disappear more often, haha." please dont. we'll all miss you.
from dierdre83 :
I think you are amazing!! You may feel down...but, really...you shouldn’t. Why? Because I love you...love you so much. Yeah...true life is a bitch...and well we are all capable of being pretty bitch ourselves...at least I am most of the time. I take what I want...you take nothing...you are so freaking amazing and beautiful. Maybe life sucks, Maybe life without dick sucks, but I love how you don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. I wish that I were more like you...you are a true role model...so I just wanted to let you know...I THINK YOU ARE TRULY AMAZING!!
from slimshady316 :
havent heard from you in 24 days now. hope you're doin ok. i miss readin your entries.
from dierdre83 :
DUDE!!! you will so see that lazy bum! lol. We will come visit you! I talked to him last night as a matter of fact so he will be here in like 3 days!
from dierdre83 :
i have not read that book in ages. dont feel too bad about moving...i will always be here, and i will come visit. ROAD TRIP!!
from slimshady316 :
Both our lives and getting from bad to worse. Sometimes I wonder if there will be an end to all these stupid bullshit and even if there is, would it be the type of ending that I want? Although I highly doubt I'd be as lucky as Cinderella, I'll remain hopeful. Sorry to vent all this on you...
from slimshady316 :
haha yeah the girl was probably jealous. she is probably envious of my ability to be bitchy yet still be loved.
from dierdre83 :
hey, i loved your entry. i was going to write about jessica too, but i had so much to say about her that i just didnt have enought time to write. its because of her that i have decided that people should move on. i miss her and will always love her. never lose touch with me or i will stalk you and well umm you know do lots of kinky things to you. lol. love dierdre
from apieceoftiff :
I'm sorry but they person I did the act to reads my diary! So If I told everything he would know! But it was soo cool! lata
from lambrini :
hi, ace diary indeed. gembob x
from whiteytaurus :
yes! empire records is a great movie! yes my inbreds too, are assholes,someone save us. yer diary rocked my socks....

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