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messages to itylus:
(click here to add new message):

from babycupcake :
for your comment about "therapist" being made of two other words... Yes i noticed that too. Scary eh?
from babycupcake :
Hey! Yes well, what can I say? I confuse everyone! Let me see if I can set you straight. No, Russ is not my boyfriend. He was once. As for missing someone, I'm not sure what you meant by that, something from a previous entry perhaps? Clue a girlie in sometime!! Erm...well, I think thats it. I need to go to bed now. Need my beauty rest! ;) *hugs* ciao hun
from starlight99 :
you need beating into submission boy, you're getting too cocky for your own good. I modified my last entry specially for you so take that!
from starlight99 :
only sometimes? piff. Well, I can think of several names but I don't think you'd go for any of them - like, 'preposterous old man, 'nincompoop' or my personal favourite 'starlight's slave' What do you think? ;)
from starlight99 :
ok if you say so OLD man :P You know, if you're still thinking of moving out of home and away from your parents, maybe its appropriate that you won't be Itylus anymore. If you follow my logic. Even though I like Itylus. He's so...Itylish :)
from starlight99 :
owa my ears! Don't yell, you overeactive egoistical preposterous young man! *ahem*
from starlight99 :
how typical that Aussies write ANZAC Day as Anzac Day. You don't see us writing it aNZac Day do you?
from be-zen :
Password required? Oh okay.
from be-zen :
Clean bill of teeth health. Pft I am jealous.
from missmari :
...and then there's that one simple fact...if you know everything you know, and not say anything while letting someone tell you everything they know, then you know twice as much....did that make sense?
from athenex :
hmm, i read your diary. I liked it. yep... thats all i had to say really. ENJOY!
from starlight99 :
Have a little more faith in yourself Ity, you don't know where it would end up unless you give it a chance. Put your own feelings first for once, you deserve it :) Also, he didn't find out anything as such, he just asked a question about something I'd just written, and the coincidence was a little too freaky for me.
from doremi :
yes. barbie party as in we are supposed to dress up as barbies. also should be pink. theres also pink homemade marshmallows, pink fairybread, pink icing on cookies... pink icing on cake.. and blah~ this is crazy. thats why i dont really want to stay. i don't like barbies and i hate pink. :S cya dude. haven't talked to u in ages. :(
from liadlaith :
Why do you think that what happened last time will happen with every girl?
from tarabeib :
oh well... if you put it that way... ;) i'm not sure if i agree, but who cares?
from babycupcake :
Hey! Of course I'm trying to get me some kinda bad comments! I live for them! Well no, not really, but hey, why not? Aww I know. Why does everything have to be in Canada? I guess you do have a bit further to travel then me, but I never think bout such things when I am asking some questions. I don't go to the chat, but I think it'd be cool to meet some people. Well night hun!
from tarabeib :
ok, so i translated the my page with the url you gave me. funny... i guess i should write in english. but why do you read it anyway? isn't it boring? hugs
from liadlaith :
Heh . . . my parents are hippies, what can I say?
from babycupcake :
Hey hun! Now where is the fun in leaving all those comments out? You know that those simple comments from someone as fabulous as you would just make my day...my year even! Reading about this wonderful dland picnic yet? Sounds like a blast, if I actually went and could meet the writer's of my dear diaries! Would you grace us with your presence?
from acousticgirl :
I have chosen the dress honey... Did you remember my plane tickets? Remember to get first class ones! acousticgirlx
from babycupcake :
Hey baby! No, the pain is not all because of my pinky. Actually my pinky hardly hurts at all. Lol. I wouldn't mind being fired from JCPenney's. Besides, I didn't say anything in the entry I haven't said to my boss, so I'm safe. They love me! ahaha. I was wondering when I'd get a response from you. Just leave me hanging like that. Sheesh. Makes a girl feel unloved, unwanted, and all that other un-shit. Ah well, ciao cutie!
from acousticgirl :
hey there *future Husband* Another reason why we should get married is because we both like the film SevenSamurai.. But one thing..When are you going to get down on one knee and propose to me??I'm waiting..;)
from idontexist :
yeah you should move out and move in with my family, but hey I suppose, Newcastle's probably a tad more inconvenient than Katoomba, but hey it would be so much fun, we could stay up late and watch movies (did you like "she's all that") ,and we could read my collection of Sweet Valley High books, and i just got the latest britney spears cd, we could like listen to it all the time, and do the dance moves, and we could have make-overs, oh my god it would be soooo much fun
from sexisfun :
yippy! it's about time you added me as a favorite! now if only i'd get off my lazy ass and start reading your diary....
from imonlyagirl :
maybe if your on you could go on aim or diaryland chat, I'm there now. I'd just love to talk to you. If not it's ok =)
from imonlyagirl :
thank you sweetie....for everything, you may not think so, but even a little note makes a differnce.
from starlight99 :
*miow* I agree humans are animals. I'm just teasing you because its fun :)
from tarabeib :
i'm home (in norway). really sad. bought new shoes, and now i'm going to look at my new kittie. don't know why i tell you this. and yes, you should use notepad. yup. :) hope you're ok. or somehitng. really really tired. no sleep for the last 30 hours. weeeeell, bajbaj. Hugs to you, my sweet.
from starlight99 :
*narrows eyes*
from starlight99 :
Are you saying I'm an animal?
from damodred :
this is why you use notepad to write your entries. of course, i should take my own advice.
from babycupcake :
Hey dear. Well now I do see myself. I feel so special, and privleged and all that other fabulous shit that I should be feeling at this moment in my diary career! ;) I'm surprised you even read my poor little life stories. I know I must bore you right to sleep! Of course, if you read me before bed I guess that could be a good thing because then I could be the cause of a wonderful night sleep, had by you of course. Anyways, I'm gonna hush now!! Ciao sweets.
from be-zen :
Ha no inner know it all! Don't stress it one bit, I envy how amazingly you love and know music.
from be-zen :
I know Leonard, well, I have his very first album and his latest. He is a fucking fabulous lyricist, among there with Dylan, who is my all time favourite. Hes truly a great. I was listening to Jeff Buckley at the time, and thought about writing Leonard, but Jeff Buckley, well I guess hes closer to my heart. I probably should change it, its not his song but it was the one which was inspiring me at the time!
from be-zen :
Thanks sweets! I am sure I will be fine! I don't have the money to see a psychologist, so I am going to go see one of the university concellor thingys. I am sure its just a matter of time before I get over this stuff, there is only so much weight I can lose!
from babycupcake :
Hey handsum!! lol Thx for signing my guestbook and for the hugs. I'm feeling alot better now, as is my finger! *phew* Anyways, keep on updating cuz if you don't, what will I read? My world will crumble, the buildings will fall, time will stop...omg...wait. What am I babbling about? I'm not even one of your "faves". Sheesh. I feel so deprived, so unloved, unwanted...oh my. Anyways! talk to you soon! *hugs till u burst*
from teenage-girl :
You signed my guestbook. Thanx for that. I'm sure you understand that little feeling you get when you realise someone has bothered to leave a message or some feedback for you. It's very nice. I started reading your diary from the first entry. Then I got hooked. It's funny how that happens. I haven't gotten through it yet, but I will. You probably don't even realise it, but you're one of those people that just has a way with wording things. A way of sounding interesting, even when you've got nothing interesting to say. And I'm one of those people that's impressed by that. Congratulations. You've gotten yourself a fan.
from tarabeib :
you think so? well... ok. i understand what you are writing about. and i guess one day, you'll figure it out :) later today i'm going to a huge familydinner with my sister, you feel like saving me, don't you? thats good ;) well, happy easter hon. Huuuugs!
from mechanica :
I completely understand. Thanks for the notes Ity. You are truely lovely. xxx
from be-zen :
I checked out that erotic sight, and my oh my, tis good! Thank you ever so much, for I shall so be returning extremely frequently.
from tarabeib :
hugs :)
from starlight99 :
hehe one small step for man, one giant leap for Ity...you are ever so slightly closer to braving the vertical bungy in Welly...you'll have to come back here to see if you can do it now ;)
from tarabeib :
tarabeib is back. hug.
from be-zen :
Thanks for your note, and I completely understand the encouragement thing, so being a good friend and a good writer is dandy enough. Pathetic excuse for a human being? Damn. Lets not start on the self disrespecting horror that is that.
from mirre :
hi hon :) I've got a new diary... so, if you still feel like reading... It won't be updated everyday, 'cause the not-having-internet-problem. but i'll try.. hope you're ok. tarabeib...
from starlight99 :
You are officially the most aggravating person in the world. :D
from be-zen :
I forgot helpful and kind!
from be-zen :
'The price of a memory is the pain it brings.' - Counting Crows. I really doubt J has forgotten you quite so swiftly as you imagine, and that she is as happy as you think. The facade of the ex girlfriend, I have worn it myself. You do have to live with being you forever, and that isn't going anywhere, and even though this probably won't mean much to you, that is not a bad thing. Few are as perceptive and honest and deep, yet you never ever give yourself a chance. Do you really expect someone else to, and to remove loneliness and have another shot at love and emotions at that jazz, if you don't accept at least a minute part of the goodness that you are? I must say, we are definitely partners in our guilt, I constantly wonder what I will do to hurt my love in the future. I fucking hate that I am even thinking about. And I will read that book, I have picked it up with interest on many occasions actually!
from airtheorchid :
hi - I am happy my diary is of your liking, and yes various stories about the first time tend to conjur up all kinds of memories. Good, Bad, Happy, and Sad. I am happy you stopped by my diary, please come visit again:) hugs, ato
from starlight99 :
ok honey, calm down! deep breaths, 1 and 2 and 3...calmer now? Good. Don't you know theres a HUGE difference between sillyness and insanity? You don't? Ok, that officially does make you insane then. Silly! You're silly, not crazy. oh wait... thats right I called you crazy too. ahem. *tries to sneak away*
from greentealeaf :
hmm .. i like someone who's in hawaii. and i'm in sydney. i guess im not the odd one out then .. oh hey itylus: where did you get "Afterlife"? i'd like to rent it for myself but i don't know where to get it.
from imonlyagirl :
You always seem to put a smile on my face with the simplest of words =) I'm sorry to hear that you two broke up. But I truly understand how hard long distance relationships are. I hope we talk soon. I always love talking to you! Love Kayla
from be-zen :
My boyfriend is in Ireland. The sea is only as big as you make it.
from greentealeaf :
actually, i meant to ask: did you watch 'AFterlife' in Japanese or English?
from greentealeaf :
hmm .. so are you a Japanese?
from mechanica :
Aww.. a little poemy thing. Bless your little cotton socks.
from liadlaith :
Did you tell him?
from be-zen :
I am so glad you know how I feel, while wishing that you did not feel the same horrible way. I spend my entire life focusing on creating something for other's to dislike about me and me to dislike about myself, that I forget in finding these points I am slowly eliminating all that has ever been good about me. Its a vicious cycle, filled with 'No Kate, think fucking positively!' and then further guilt at the fact that I am completely unnecessarily beating myself to the ground. And then it begins again. I understand the sex thing now for you, there is absolutely no way I seem to be able to cease this cycle anymore.
from be-zen :
I don't know why you would ever ever feel guilty about loving sex full time. In this life, we should take any form of happiness we can get and if that isn't approved upon by some, who gives a fuck? I have never felt guilty about loving sex and never will. There is nothing more passion restoring than sex, nothing more liberating and nothing that allows you to release life's woes as much as sex. I think it is horribly sad that you feel you are going to waste, but that, like your attitude to loving sex without feeling guilt, is completely in your hands. If you don't like what you are, work to become what you desire, as harsh as it sounds.
from starlight99 :
Will I regret taking you to see Vanilla Sky forever more?
from liadlaith :
Why is it going to waste?
from jen7 :
mmm, gin & anger, i think. :)
from be-zen :
Oh I am jumping on the fuck off Frankenstein bandwagon. I have already laboured through that beast of a novel, so much summary downloading shall ensue. Your letter to your mother broke my heart. Its a shame she doesn't see how special you are or acknowledge the feelings of her children.
from starlight99 :
yes you should create more needs because thats how you live a fulfilling life. The more needs you create for yourself and then push yourself to satisfy, the more you'll enjoy life. This is not at all similar to smoking, because that provides only temporary relief and pisses people off for having to be so dependent on something.
from starlight99 :
oh hon...I don't know what I can say to make you feel better, except I'm always here to talk to if you need to, and please don't not talk about it with me because you don't want to depress me. I'd be sadder if you kept it to yourself when you really needed to be letting it all out. :( I don't think therapists think like that either, and I doubt you would be considered a hard case. They see thousands of people suffering from depression all the time and they do make a difference. It might not be the right thing for you, but maybe you should give it a go anyway just to see if it helps? Don't forget you're not alone, I understand how you feel and I'm always here for you. :) *mwah mwah mwah*
from damodred :
i doubt therapists feel that way, a difficult case should be a pleasant challenge. also, depression is over 80% cureable. you aren't the only one who feels this way. in fact, you have tons and tons of company. including me. :) you can get through it and remember, if you can get help you can get better. even though the depression won't let you believe that.
from liadlaith :
Hey. There's not a lot I can really say about your last entry, only I'm sorry you feel like that, and I hope you get better soon.
from chaos68 :
hi ity, wow... i didn't realize i had html turned off at the guestbook. it's on now! i'll be reading you! -c68
from chaos68 :
Funny, how we look at our parents at times. Ugh. I have had similar feelings about mine like the ones that you cited in your entry. Hate,pity,anger..... usually juxtaposed with love. But still...

"Pushing thru the market square, so many mothers sighing

News had just come over, we had five years left to cry in..." David Bowie - Five Years

from missmari :
oh feh...screw word. use notepad for writing your entries. simplistic? yes. but i've never had any problems with copying over and i use the evil win98. ::sigh:: i am, afterall, just a silly microsoft minion.
from be-zen :
And in addition, Angel has a face like a bulldog.
from be-zen :
I refuse to believe that any show about a vampire slayer can ever be any good. I shall never ever watch it. Because it is about a girl who slays vampires. To reinterate, a girl who slays vampires.
from be-zen :
I like your latest entry, I really do. I think that is my philosophy in life, we start nothing, we end nothing, so nothing really means anything. Why not fucking enjoy it and take from it what you can and get over guilt and learn to live? I am slowly taking my own advice too.
from doremi :
thanks for still reading. umm.. i haven't talked to you in more than a month, i miss doing that. :P maybe i should give you my mobile/home number and make you talk to me. yes.. i'm that bored. heh. i'm cruel. i know.
from imonlyagirl :
Thanks hun *hugs*
from starlight99 :
hello sweetness, just want to say I MISS YOU and look forward to talking to you again. Unfortunately as of today I am back at uni and won't have as much time to spend idly chatting on aim. Unless I do the thing where I write my essays with aim turned on and convince myself that this is actually studying. Yeah, I think I'll do that ;) *mwah mwah mwah*
from be-zen :
Kiama! Thats where I am from!!! It looks nice and innocent, but damn, it is all forms of boring and evil underneath. I guess the body thing is horribly exaggerated in my own mind, infact I am often told I have a nice body or a nice this and that, and I am by absolutely no means overweight. I just can't seem to jump off the bandwagon of obsessing-guilt blah blah blah, and I am fucking tired of it. I am thinking your friend is very lucky with her attitude, but are you sure thats just not the front she gives, and really how she feels to being overweight?
from liadlaith :
Sorry, I misread your intent : ) And, the reason I asked about where you write your Dland entries is cause a lot of people who talk about losing their entries write them straight into the window. I write mine in Word to avoid that and take advantage of the auto formatting.
from liadlaith :
Where do you write your Diaryland entries?
from liadlaith :
Hey, I'll gladly be proven wrong.
from starlight99 :
hey if you're still online now so am I!
from starlight99 :
yes, yes it is. You're so perceptive :) Just a little revenge seeing as you used PERMANENT marker pen which has yet to fade...oh well, its an excellent reminder of you.
from starlight99 :
notes
from imonlyagirl :
Hey, the song quote is 'back back back' by ani difranco. I don't know I thought it kind of fit you, but I wasn't sure if I'd offend you. Also I understand about the note. I wanted to delete it myself! I didn't know it was going to act all stupid =). I know I really need to go to a doctor my mother is supposed to make an appointment at some sort of clinic that specializes in reumatology (don't know how that's spelled) and stuff with cancer ... but she hasn't for a lot of reason. 1 because we lost our health insurance, and they keep denying us. but I hope that all gets figured out soon enough. Because if something is seriously wrong, there's no way we could afford all of it, I mean it's a struggle with paying for the counseling and medication. The head aches.. I have no clue what causes them. All I know is I've never had them this bad in my whole life, and when I get them the back of my head gets all warm ad soft and red.. It's a scary thing. I hav to go for an MRI to chck for tumors. I feel like my bodies rejecting me.. But I made it through the night, barely I'm still in a lot of pain and this is getting rather long =), oooh and I almost forgot I'm very happy for you, it's nice to hear your doing well. Kayla
from idontexist :
damn the tasman sea, it could be worse though, she could live in Vladivostock (sp) or not exist, like my love life....Stay Sane and Stunning Kimberly
from be-zen :
And intercontinental romance is so very difficult, I am totally with you on that. It drives me absolutely insane.
from be-zen :
Realising that I had to learn to allow myself be hurt and to risk hurting others is something I have been working on for a long time. Yeah, being all scared like, which is essentially what it is, fucking sucks. 'Vanilla Sky' is a thinking movie, and a good one at that, and people, saturated with 'Pearl Habour' and wasted money like that, aren't partial to thinking anymore.
from starlight99 :
in order to delete this nasty, hateful note, simply click on 'edit your notes settings' and then 'delete individual notes' ooooh now I have to write something mean....*thinks* but I have only wonderful stuff to say to you. So ah, I'll talk to you later today about all this, but just remember hon the sweet aint as sweet without the sour :) *hugs*
from liadlaith :
I know why Vanilla Sky was panned - cause it starred Tom Cruise and we still hate him after he dumped Nic.
from invisiblepal :
:) It's so very nice to see you seeming so happy. (:
from bri2079 :
I'm so very happy for you...I've done what you did, and I understand how awkward it can be...but sometimes really great things come out of it...here's to yours turning out better than mine. *hugs*
from imonlyagirl :
oooh i'm so very happy for you =) i hope you have fun the rest of the time!
from liadlaith :
I know, it's one of the things that really annoys me about His Highness. He has these really strict standards for female beauty, which stipulate they should be hairless everywhere but their head, which should never be less than chin-length. Personally, I like the elfin haircuts, but I don't have a face for one.
from praiseandrew :
raise the praise to andrew!
from starlight99 :
well thats another way to look at it...as illustrious as Elijah Woods is. He is a bit of a cutie actually, he also said he didn't wear his hobbit feet during sex because it was kinky. Ummmmm....anyway...you can still update everyday, you just have to discover the wonderful world of internet cafes ;) Which, btw is how my AIM got hacked - I accidently turned the automatic password on in one. Oops.
from imonlyagirl :
Purple hair, you rock, and I hope you have a nice time plus I'll miss you terribly!
from be-zen :
Thank you for linking me. Can't say that doesn't feel good.
from whenufuckher :
i read your girl-boy entry. nice.
from be-zen :
I hope I have done half as much as you when I reach your age.
from hijinks :
Do I smell an online romance Ity?
from imonlyagirl :
*hugs* try not to be so hard on yourself hun, your really a great guy.
from chaos68 :
oh man, ity! you have me eyeing my keyboard with paranoia! i so live in squalor, i might have whole bloody kingdoms of dustmites! lol
from liadlaith :
I would've written this in your guestbook, but it's being screwy: being compassionate is hard, because it means you feel compelled to help everyone all the time, and then you feel guilty when you can't. Or you end up devoting your life to helping one person when other people would have given up.
from starlight99 :
wow I'm psychic
from starlight99 :
dustmites back again are they?
from be-zen :
I want to say the right things, but I don't know them. I guess, cliches ahoy, what person doesn't have days when they feel like wine turning into vinegar? When they don't beat themselves up over something they did and didn't do? When they don't want to see their parent's faces again because arguing over trivialities seems to be the flavour of the month? Without the shitty days, could we ever appreciate the good ones? I guess, also, today and tomorrow and the next day are entirely new days, and carrying on yesterday can only cause pain. I know you have probably heard this all before...
from imonlyagirl :
ohhh dying hair is great fun, lol maybe just for dorks like me though. Where are you going? Hope you won't be gone to long ;) I hope I talk to you soon, I miss ya!
from imonlyagirl :
No, I don't think there is anything like that, especially because the school is less then 5 minutes away.. Hopefully I'll figure something out. Thanks for caring hun
from imonlyagirl :
I don't think we have anything like that. But I could be wrong. What is it exactly?
from damodred :
i don't think that having both people in the relationship be "the one" makes love awful. i think it makes you have to be more aware of someone else's feeling and learn to compromise and communicate alot better. if you don't do that then it will be awful and won't last. which is why i'm not in a relationship right now, not prepared to do those things for someone else.
from imonlyagirl :
ah! the confusion dance is horrible! ... hence one more reason why i like to stay in the house
from hijinks :
There doesn't seem to be any point loving someone who's facing away from you, the confusion dance is what it's all about.
from be-zen :
I really think that is a very beautiful and very profound entry, and I cannot even explain why I like it so.
from doremi :
The girls in my layout are actually one person. More information can be found here. What I didn't say is that "Sakura" is from the anime Card Captor Sakura or Card Captors. By the way, I'm glad you like the layout and thx for signing my gbook!
from be-zen :
Too hard on yourself again. I think you achieve a greater level of honesty than you think, and you are not half the coward you treat yourself as.
from be-zen :
I agree with you, looking back last night I wanted to give up this whole diary thing, because the truth is, it stopped being about the actual me long ago.
from be-zen :
I don't understand his complete adversity to acid, because I have heard most people who take it say that they would choose it over any other drug. I think I might just take it on the sly and not tell him. Sneaky sneaky me. Perhaps you could tell me what it is like?
from starlight99 :
I updated! woohoo. And why can I never catch you on AIM anymore???
from liadlaith :
Um, elsewhere? I think I've heard of Bob the Angry Flower though . . .
from doremi :
Hey~~ The images have been fixed. Well so it seems to someone who helped me check. So, hopefully you can see them too. :)
from liadlaith :
Y'know, you could just copy'n'paste the guestbook msg into your diary . . .
from be-zen :
I see your point, and I think you have given me a lot to think about. I think though, you get to the stage where fleeting passions, however frequent, are not enough. Though I doubt I shall reach it to soon, eventually, a time will come when fleeting passioned people wish that they had learnt to settle with stability, for they end up with nothing but the memory of that brief explosion of happiness, the aftermath of the orgasm, and nothing more.
from be-zen :
I think we share the same problem of all-consuming passion and its development into indifference. Sigh I say.
from jen7 :
You do wonder if we'd be any more functional if we didn't see crying as some sort of indicator of weakness. And i wonder when it really kicks in. I don't have any of that male don't-cry-thing going on, but while i could cry myself to sleep every night at 15, a tear or two now pisses me off to no end. ;) Touche on the Joni Mitchell comment. :) And sorry for being so slow on the poem-thing - i've been lax lately. i still write them, but kinda rarely, and they're so much worse than they were even when i was 15. Maybe there's some connection there - between the teariness/lack thereof and writing. Hmmpf.
from starlight99 :
Ps: I love your brain ;)
from starlight99 :
Actually, I take that back. Its pretty pointless to keep telling you to stop beating yourself up when this is your diary, the exact place where you can explore the issues that you do.
from doremi :
*sob* I know you are online, but I can't find you on AIM or on the diaryland chatrooms so I can't talk to you. Oh well.. All I really wanted to say was thanks for responding to both of my questions.. :) THANK YOU sooo very much!!
from starlight99 :
certain people eh? hmmm. You know, someone brainy once said to me 'Anytime you hear that voice in your head telling you you're not good enough, ask what its ever achieved.' However, you are right when you say you need to set your own standards rather than basing your worth on the standards of others. And because your standards are so much higher than most people's, you're in for a hard time. Perfectionism is the highest order of self-abuse. I just wish you could realise your own worth rather than beating yourself up all the time.
from witchmedic :
Was fun chatting with you - until the chat threw me out. See, you jinxed it by mentioning the fact Diaryland has been acting weird! :) See you around.
from missmari :
i like "what's up tiger lily" myself. it's the only dumb humor i can stand.
from hijinks :
Oooh linkage, I love it.
from missmacabre :
If there's one thing someone can say to win me over indefinitely, it's that he or she loved a Woody Allen film. My favorite line in H&HS is "There's a tumor in my head the size of a basketball!"
from be-zen :
Glebe markets is perhaps my favourite place in the entire world. All that life and colour!
from hijinks :
Get your ass back to chat I miss you.
from orangetulip :
your diary is thought-provoking but it is comforting also. i like it.
from punkasapixie :
hi. i got your name from the girlboy diary (i'm that way, too) and i just read your 'beauty' entry. that was a great example - way to go! come visit/chat if you'd like -*k
from missmacabre :
Wow. I'm blown away by your entry about beauty. I'm a big fan of analogies, metaphors, any kind of descriptive explanation and I really liked what you had to say about learning to read and recognising things/people. Also, I appreciate the fact that you don't mind my pontification. In conclusion, if it wasn't so damn cold out, I would ride a bike.
from rabbet :
i dig it
from liadlaith :
Sorry - my lack of interaction with the male of the species has lead me to base my opinion of them on mainstream media, so it's a pretty low opinion : ) I know should have more faith, but . . . no guy's ever really proved to me that I should.
from be-zen :
You ex and her new(ish) non-drinking boyfriend for her birthday? Jesus Christ, good luck with that one.
from babycupcake :
hey! no i won't be crying all year! hope you had fun at the birthday dinner. doesn't sound like you were looking forward to it. lata hun! *hugs*
from liadlaith :
I just feel sorry for people that are intolerant, or full of hatred, and hope to help them. But then, I'm perfect : )
from liadlaith :
Oh, yes, very reasonable, except don't I get to suffer a slow and painful death because of my criticisms? And, also, I see what you mean about anger and violence - you can't suppress it, but you also can't allow it to rule you. It's a fine line to walk
from imonlyagirl :
You made a very good point, and I actually never think of myself as a perfectionist. But when you used the locker key as an example. I realize I do have that overwhelming fear of making mistakes so much so that a lot of the time I'll avoid doing things all together. And it's kind of weird how you used Keys as an example Because I do that, And it got pretty bad. I have 6 keys. So I put different size marks on each key, so I wouldn't put myself through all that stress. Ok I'm done rambling. =)
from maeve-arie :
Good Morning Dah'Ling...a few notes from the Dalai Lama on the subject of anger... "It would be much more constructive if people tired to understand thier supposed enemies. Learning to forgive is much more useful than merely picking up a stone and throwing it at the object of one's anger. For it is under the greatest adversity that there exists the greatest potential for doing good, both for oneself and others." "A nagging sense of discontent, a feeling of being dissatisfied, or of something not being right, is the fuel that gives rise to anger and hatred. This discontent arises in us when we feel that either we ourselves, or someone we love, or our close friends are being treated unfairly or threatened and that people are being unjust. Also, when others somehow obstruct us in achieving something, we feel that we are being troddne upon, and then we feel angry. So the approach here is to get at the root, appreciating the casual nexus, the chain, which will utimately explode in and emotional state like angr or hatred." Food for thought...not saying that I don't see a lot of validity in your journal. I do take into account that the Dalai Lama is divine...unlike most of us. :) MaeveyBaby
from liadlaith :
Hello, me again! Just reading your entry - okay, I get what you mean about needing to express that emotion, to have an outlet for it, but why should it be anger you express? Why shouldn't we attempt to channel our emotions into more productive, positive emotions, like creativity (um, yeah, that's an emotion, it's an urge), love, philanthropy, being just a general crusader against whatever evil's the flavour of the week?
from liadlaith :
Do you mean the book, or the movie?
from starlight99 :
oy!!! I just read what wrote in your profile...evil and monstrous??? Me??? noooo...i'm a sweetie...really...humph blech and poos to you mister!!! and if you're not careful, i'll send you more scary stuff!!!
from liadlaith :
No, I doubt anything has happened. Probably just a result of my jealousy and imagination. And, no, we haven't been doing that thing. Part of that was the reason why I was feeling so jealous, I think - I felt that Claudia's presence robbed me of a chance for it.
from liadlaith :
Oh I *totally* agree. Really, who is the hero of this story? I tell you what, it's not Aragorn and it's so definitely not Frodo! Pfft! All should bow down to the glory of the Elf!
from hijinks :
Happy New Year boyo.
from chaos68 :
yes, of course the green skirt, i remember. happy new year!
from imonlyagirl :
hi hun, I'm so sorry about earlier, I wanted to stay and talk so bad but had to go do all sorts of testing. I hope your on again soon so we can talk Love ya much
from maeve-arie :
Hey I was chatting at you...and the chat kind of crashed I think...sorry if I don't get back in but thanks for your help! :) ~Maeve
from starlight99 :
hey, is your email working yet? cause I have some, um...stuff...scary stuff...to send you.
from imonlyagirl :
hi sweetie, I wanted to say hi and see how you are I haven't talked to you in a while, I miss you. Oh and I wanted to know what e-mail address to send you mail to cause I have two that are yours and I'm not sure which one to send it to. Well after you get your e-mail problem fixed.Hope to here from you soon Kayla
from be-zen :
Infinite Jest is a good(/long) one, and I am sorry you felt like that on New Years. I always think of that Screaming Jets line 'Its seems the ones who love you always hurt you most' when I feel mistreated. Nice to have you back, I missed your entries.
from missmari :
your e-mail addy no longer works...and i have a very serious message to send you about your computer. let me know where to send it.
from illusioni :
Hey...have a wonderful New Year's!
from starlight99 :
Yay, you're back :) if only for one entry :( Merry Christmas to you too and a happy new year!
from doremi :
Don't worry. Its alright. Thanks for talking to me!! *mwah* :Þ
from doremi :
I really really miss you.. Umm.. I'm being a bit silly hehe.. Thanks for the note.
from invisiblepal :
Happy Holidays!!
from be-zen :
Sure you think it would be better to keep my dollar, you are running scared. Oh course, you won't find out what I got in my HSC! I shall miss your diary and having something to think about! I hope you are not away for too long and that you enjoy your break, and come back refreshed and on top of the world!
from elipsis :
Hey you! Don't stay away too long!!! :o) Have a scrumdiddlyumptios holiday!
from be-zen :
Lazy/stupid/worthless are some pretty harsh descriptives right there, and the fact that you have come this far, to PhD level, indicates that you are quite the opposite. You will start it when you are ready, but don't beat yourself up needlessly. As for my HSC results, I am glad that they are not refered to much after the first week in university, its just getting into that first week in my course that stresses me. Nevertheless, I am attempting to foster an attitude of indifference by walking around saying 'No I don't care' and toking all day. Its not really working, but I have three days to practice before the shit actually hits the fan. And you being willing to put money on it is a very soothing thought, but only if it is a large amount, and you are not putting some $1 bet on my back so when I get a horrid 60%, you won't lose too much! Thanks once more.
from chaos68 :
Why are we always so outraged to find our families are full on dysfunctional? I speak with first hand knowledge. It strikes me it may be some sort of odd left handed blessing really. Right, I mean... if one's family is so bloody F'ed up it tends to give a credible crutch to one's own shortcomings and misdeeds not that I like it ..but well...I keep trying to find a silver lining. Never bloody works. Oh well. I guess the time to be really worried is if the family suddenly seems to be coming 'round... that frightening thought might just mean one has thrown in the towel and in so doing has joined the other side for lack of beating it, eh'? Nice color play Ity. -thrivingonchaos
from hijinks :
Oooh I haven't stalked him for so long, I was going to go to the cinema but I'm far too lazy, I might just make it up to Blockbuster though. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
from starlight99 :
hey sorry for not answering you in chat before, I didn't even see that window until after you left. I think dland mustn't like me at the moment :) I also wanted to say, I do remember what we talked about the other day and I hope I didn't put you off signing other ppl's g-bks with caring and helpful notes. Ok, I know I haven't, I realise when I say that I selfishly mean *my* g-bk. I was only trying to say you should care as much about yourself as you do about others. And I really appreciate everything you've said to me in my g-bk. That doesn't help you any though - so next time I come here I'll try to write something that does. :)
from liadlaith :
Thanks for your note, and, as belated as it may be, congrats on getting Legolas in the Lord of the Rings test. I agree, elves are definitely not unemotional - in Feist, he's constantly talking about how the mannerisms and facial expressions of elves were very hard for humans and non-elves to pick up on, but that doesn't mean they don't have them. Sigh. I want an elf for Christmas. A live one.
from elipsis :
:o) Another coincidence?! Hmmm.... Anyway, you're lucky you live so far away... you wouldn't get a moment's peace! (I would say something else here, except that I don't know what it would be, and it would probably come out en francais parce que je vais a prendre un examen ce soir... en dix minutes.... alors... je ne peux pas ecrire en anglais... je suis desole.. peut-etre a plus tard.. :o) A bientot, mon ami! (Oh yes... and good luck on your first night in the shed!!)
from missmacabre :
I like the green background. I didn't catch any other colors you might've done, but I do like this one. If you want to upload any images, you can use my space. You can also get a free account with freeyellow.com (and various other free hosts, except angelfire) to upload your images and link back to them on the diary. But I imagine you probably know that. Still. I like the green. :)
from be-zen :
Oh yes yes, vast quantities of alcohol shall be consumed this weekend in preparation for the looming HSC results next week, which shall no doubt suck immense amounts. Thanks for the congratulations, it feels great to have tried and succeeded, but you would know that feeling very well! I would stick with the green, change is almost as good as a holiday! Thanks once more and smile!
from jen7 :
Owwwwwwwwwwwwww. After reading that entry in chartreuse, all the white text on my screen looks purple. I think i'm blind, damnit!@$% ;)
from bri2079 :
I am trying to get caught up here and I just ran across your fantasy entry. You, m'dear, need to relax. You are way too ... well, something. Remember that diary I showed you? Uninhibited? Maybe you should go back and read through some of those again. Sex is sex...it can be whatever you want it to be...and it's still just sex. Even if you were having a fantasy about fucking a squid fish in the snow with ballet shoes on...it's still a fantasy and whatever turns you on I say. There have been worse...relax darlin' and just enjoy the ride.
from hijinks :
Anytime Itybabes, you made me smile first thing in the morning which, trust me, is very rare.
from hijinks :
Maybe you don't need to say the right thing to your sister, maybe there isn't a right thing but you're trying and letting her know you love her and maybe that's enough.
from starlight99 :
anyway, look on the bright side - at least you don't fantasize about sheep (at least I presume you don't)! Ok, since you told an anti-Aussi one, I can tell an anti kiwi one: Why do New Zealanders screw their sheep on the edge of a precipice? So it'll back up harder. *wonders if maybe that was a little too vulgar.* Disclaimer: This note was intended for light relief only :)
from elipsis :
Yeah.. sheesh... don't be so hard on yourself! (I mean, you can if you want to... what I meant was...) ;o) BTW, Someone invented a new one-person vehicle that stops when you "think about stopping", and goes when you "think about going"... (by sensing minute shifts in musculature) but STILL!.. imagine the possibilities! "Think about flying"..."Think about 1964" :) Maybe not. But when science becomes indistinguishable from magic... hell! I'm excited! :) (Hey, if I can find it, I'll send you the article!) Have a wonderful day!
from wendchymes :
yeah, what he/she said, your fantasies are exaxtly that, fantasies! And you are too hard on yourself, I do not know where you get off thinking you need to be perfect!All you need to really do in this world, is before you go to sleep, every night, know that you tried your best to be true to yourself and not hurt anyone else along the way. It is not always possible, but it is the trying ( and the learning from the mistakes) that counts! ok? ok! xoxox fifi
from liadlaith :
Oh come on, your fantasy's not that bad. It's pretty standard - everyone has those urges. At least you recognise that they're not exactly ideal urges - but really you're too hard on yourself, I think.
from starlight99 :
hey, thats not a bad sexual fantasy you kow, ask any guy and they'd have the same one. Girls too for that matter. Everyone would like to be thought of as important and since its not very practical that everyone in the whole world is ging to be important to you, then its quite normal to want to be important to people who are unimportant to you... if that makes sense? besides, as much as Freud might disagree with me, not all fantasies have to be a reflection of who you are as a person. its perfectly ok for them to just be a fantasy and nothing more.
from elipsis :
Oh, no! Gus, please don't think that... I don't know WHAT I was thinking last night... but it certainly didn't include the idea of you as an overbearing monster. :o) You're one of my very favorite people in the whole world. I think I was just feeling a little strange... because *I* didn't feel bad at all about what I was writing... and your note gave me the idea (not on purpose) that maybe I *should* be feeling bad, and that maybe people who read it might feel bad, when it's not at all what I intended, and not at all what I hoped to accomplish. I think it was the phrase "going too far..." So... I had to rethink why I was doing it... was it for me or was I performing....? ...and I don't *know*. I slept 13 hours last night and DID have bizarre dreams, so maybe it was just the soup. But anyway, please don't stop reading it and please feel free to comment on whatever you'd like, whenever you'd like. Because, after all, you're right, anyway... it wouldn't work for very long. What would I do if I finally ran out of deep, dark secrets? Because I don't have *that* many to begin with.... Start looking for more? :o) I'm sorry for seeming to misunderstand you... I don't think I did. I think I was just.. huh. Digesting.
from elipsis :
Okay... hi! I didn't realize before that this diary thing was so involved, with message boards and everything.. :) Yeah. So.. um... I felt kind of "okay" about my diary -- my plan or whatever -- until I read your note. Then it just kind of hit me..all at once.. And, well, I still feel pretty undone. Not so much about what I wrote.. it's not like I don't THINK about these things... I just don't put them into words... But I've never brought anyone else into it before and your note kind of reminded me that, yeah, I'm bringing other people into it. And that's not fair. SO.. I'm sorry that you had to read that, and I'm sorry that you had to read (maybe) what I wrote today because I didn't catch your note in time. :) Umm... that's all. I don't know if I just made sense, but... hmm. Thank you, and have a lovely night!
from starlight99 :
so, a kiwi flys to Sydney International Airport and as he goes through customs the Immigration Officer asks him if he has a criminal record. "No" replies the kiwi "I didn't know you still needed one..." ;)
from wendchymes :
ITY ITY ITY! Thank YOU so Much for the Cure! You have given me the best gift! It's official, now I adore you, prepare to be ADORED :) mew, wendyKitty xoxoxoxox
from illusioni :
Hey I just happened to find your diary through raq's favorites, and I'm really glad that I did! I've spent some time looking through your entries, and I've really enjoyed them.
from be-zen :
Thank you for seeing something unique in me, and making me feel mildly better. Even if you are right, I don't think I will ever see it, but then I guess no one does! I keep meaning to thank you for signing my guestbook etc after I write entries, but my level of laziness is absolutely unparellel. It means a lot that you read them, and that you take the time to write, so thank you. What you say really does make me think, though I am not the most vocal person in thanking you! Fuck, that just went around in circles, but you get my point!
from jen7 :
I think i'm sure... :) I guess what i was trying to say was that i think you have to make a choice in order to be "virtuous" -- if you're hard-wired to do something that's considered "good" by nature, you're not necessarily really "good" or "virtuous," because you had no other choice. It doesn't make you any better than anyone else, you know? "Repressed" probably wasn't the best word to use...but i'm having a dumb please-oh-please-let-me-be-back-on-vacation day. :)
from hijinks :
Thou art a snooze jockey, as am I.
from starlight99 :
no I haven't lived with my mother for two years now, BUT unfortunately i'm about to move back just for a few months because I need to save some money. About the pro-ana thing, you're right about it being a cry for help, but the thing is, most of these girls think they're anorexic when they're actually not. I'm not saying they don't have problems, or need help, they do. But if they knew what it was really like they wouldn't glorify it so much. btw, I added you to my favs list cause your diary is truly great! :)
from disneyblues :
well, about the whole diarything.. cista is dead. too many people were reading it that shouldn't. um, livejournal is considered my letter to the world, hence I can't be hysterical in there.. so.. hehe.. it depends on what sides of my personality you feel like watching :p
from starlight99 :
hi Itylus, me again. That is so true what you wrote about anorexia and about how its not as important to guys as to my mother. We don't get on very well so when she places these demands on me, the exact same ones as society does, I take it to the extreme. The thinking behind it is "well, if I get really unhealthily thin that'll show them.' Thats part of it anyway.
from disneyblues :
I loved what you wrote on girl, interrupted / anorexia. putting appearance over health is perhaps the most honest shape of self-loathe... I know. and I love your diary. really. -disneyblues (cista in disguise =)
from missmacabre :
I'd like to know how I can change things so that my diary will display properly in your browser. I'd wondered if anyone had problems viewing it. I've never heard of that browser. Let me know if you know how I can fix it! By the way, I was going through your diary, as well, and I think it's absolutely wonderful! Who cares what it looks like? It's chock full of substance, which is much more fun than flashy graphics.
from missmari :
yes, and did you notice that "Shakespeare" is more popular than "William Shakespeare"?
from be-zen :
I think it is amazing that your last entry was about the weight issues, the very thing I came online to write about!! I have delt with weight and the social pressures of feeling happy, and you are so right, controlling food intake and weight makes you feel as if you are controling some part of a turbulent uncontrolable life.
from imonlyagirl :
You could not be more right
from invisiblepal :
Hi! I've been leaving insane amounts of notes today, and just as I finished posting on my page I saw you had updated so I figured I'd leave you a note as well. I hope you don't mind. :) I still read everytime you update, congrats on the wonderful grade with your paper. I hope you have a fabulous day. (:
from missmari :
hey...where are you going? moving? what did i miss? who the? wha? when? why? (oh i'm pitiful) ~miss mari
from starlight99 :
hi Itylus, thanx for signing my guestbook... i was gonna write this anyway to prove to you I did read your diary, as promised :) And I'm glad I did, because what I've read so far is awesome. Which is only the first few entries at the very beginning, but I'm planning on reading all of them cause you've got me hooked now. Only problem is you have over 200 entries so it might take me awhile :) Catcha later!
from liadlaith :
Ah, avoid work at all costs! Go you!
from chaos68 :
hey! good on ya' man! rock on! congrats and then some!
from liadlaith :
Congrats, congrats, congrats - even though I'm not quite sure what you've won (round the world trip for two? washer and drier set? a scholarship?), congrats anyway!
from be-zen :
Fuck, congratulations!!!!!! I cannot even begin to imagine how fabulous you must feel! All that work must seem superbly worth it right now, and the wheel certainly has come full circle. I still have an email to write you, and I am thinking your lazy penpal diaryring should certainly have a new membership before to long. Congratulations once more!
from bobbipuzel :
Your diary is really great. I have really enjoyed reading my way through it. Hope you have a great day!!! Take care!!!! I will be sure to stop back here again soon! :o)
from liadlaith :
Thanks, I'll remember that : )
from jen7 :
I'm sure you've heard this before, but...if not for pain, love would be kind of dull and saccharine, no? It's that blighted edge that makes it interesting. In your lifetime, you are going to hurt people. They are going to hurt you. But when it comes down to it, what do you remember years later? The hurt, or the fun you had together? Or both, with kind of a smiling sentimentality? I think that you should experience life and not be so afraid of hurting others. It may or may not happen, but it doesn't really matter -- it's unfair to yourself and to others to deprive people of your presence because you're afraid of hurting them at some indeterminate point in the future. Okey, preaching complete. :)
from hijinks :
Damn the spark, they say I only have another 11 to go. Hell, and I have a 23% chance of dying during sex. I'm depressed now.
from chaos68 :
'ello Ity.

you wrote:

this feeling that other people had adventures, other people had emotions, which I had not experienced and never would. I was missing out on something. I was missing out on feeling something. I couldn't bear it, it was painful to me, but a very sweet and sad sort of pain. Other people's histories are so full of significance, significant life-changing events that I would never know or understand.

I so get that. what a spine snaking feeling. sigh. ciao

from doremi :
Hey. I didn't see you on AIM when you left me your last note. Hmm. Anyways, thank you for your offer, however, I was just saying something silly there. Because I don't really really want help. If I did, I'd probably be seeing a psychologist now.. Heh. Thank you heaps though. Leaving me that message meant alot to me already. :)
from jen7 :
Silly rabbit, *you* hadn't updated when i wrote that! :P I hope your friend will be okay, i'll keep her in my thoughts.
from imonlyagirl :
hey =)
from liadlaith :
Oh don't worry, I'm a firm believer in helping people help themselves. I don't have any delusions that I can fix all his problems for him, but I hope I can be there for him and bolster his confidence enough that he will believe he can be helped, he can make things better. But that seems to be tantamount to moving a mountain, because he has such low self-esteem. He believes the only way things could ever get better would be if there was a major change in him. I don't want to change him, he has to do that himself. I like him just the way he is, except for the fact that he hates it. So I'm just going to do what I've always done, or at least tried to do, and listen to him and do what I can to help.
from be-zen :
Congratulations on finishing, that must have felt great. However, I dare say I can relate a little to your feelings about the emptiness of completion! And I am not even completely complete yet. A lot of women that are size 16 + are extremely beautiful, but I think they have feel beautiful inside to externally radiate beauty. I guess I feel like I could never feel beautiful unless I was a size 10. I accept how sad that is, but I have delt with weight issues my whole life. I just thought they would end eventually, which has proved untrue! Anyway, thank you for you guestbook entry, and your ongoing support! Congratulations once more!
from cista :
oh.. great. You really ARE intelligent. *hugs Opera*
from jen7 :
Yay! Congrats! Go out and have fun and cause a ruckus, but try to avoid the alcohol poisoning, that's no good. :)
from chaos68 :
Cool! Congrats!
from idontexist :
Congratulations on finishing....I hope you have a great celebration ,(and hopefully in moderation)...you deserve it...stay sane and stunning, Kimberly (that chick from idontexist.diaryland.com)
from imonlyagirl :
Doctors orders because I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and they want me to like in a way 'face my fears' and be out in the 'real' world..it's ridiculous to me..but oh well. Now my Mother is monitors how long I stay on-line...I feel like a baby...
from liadlaith :
I'm not too worried - most of my friends have commonsense enough to not say anything, and, ATM, only one of them is reading it. Getting a locked diary is just annoying and defeats the whole purpose of having an online diary. But, you're right, perhaps I should put a warning up or something.
from jen7 :
I like including the song titles, so that we readers can find them easier. :) Although, i guess with Google around...;)
from liadlaith :
I've told Tiffni and the Saint - I know Tiffni reads it, but the Saint hasn't mentioned it.
from liadlaith :
Yeah, probably I'd be jealous, but I'd rather he be happy.
from chaos68 :
smiling when I read you writing about the end in sight.... your relief is almost palpable! : )
from babycupcake :
hey hon...yea it was my b-day on Oct. 6th actually. I be 20!! lol. I ain't sure how old...or young you are so...I'll just stay excited. Anyways, thanks for dropping me a lil note. Yours is the first, and only so far! *cries* no one loves me! Anyways, loving ur site...keep it all ups! *hugs* ciao
from kimmikers :
I still want to know more about you ;-) one, about J (quite mysterious) two, I'm in Germany ;-)
from kimmikers :
Hi-you're interesting (dig the philosophy stuff) and I want to know more about you ;-)
from be-zen :
Thank you for reading my diary and my constant whinging! I have also been reading yours - I think you have an extremely interesting way of wording things, and I was particularly fond of the spiderman thing.. I dropped economics for Year 12 in a burst (which has lasted a while) of laziness. It was a little stupid, because when I did it, I was thinking strongly about taking it at university as a major. Transfering into my course from another subject is going to piss me off, when I can stay in Wollongong and slide into the course. (However - Wollongong has heroin problems to the power of a million.) But I really want to go Sydney, so if I do not make it into commerce, I will be starting in arts and majoring in Psych, which is my real interest anyhow. Thank you for your help, and what is your thesis on? I read 'The Fountainhead', but I couldn't get really excited, so I think I might take your 'Atlas Shrugged' advice. I suggest you (and everyone) read 'No Logo'!
from cista :
um, the e-mail address you gave me... my client claims it's invalid. That could of course just be a slight case of PMS, my software is always severely female, but.. um... yeah.
from liadlaith :
Not unless I get that much longed for email saying "you have a new note at Diaryland!/someone has signed your guestbook!"
from chaos68 :
soooo beneath me that is!
from chaos68 :
I'm with you Ity, work sucks! It is soooooo ;)
from rushlight :
I have Windows ME, so everything on it is rather new to me from 95. Um. Yeah.
from liadlaith :
Thank you! Your comments will be pilfered my me and passed off as my own ideas : )
from missmari :
...we should have each other for dinner, we should have each other for tea...
from imonlyagirl :
No, I haven't been to the doctors yet... Because my Mom thinks its all in my head.. And as for my father.. I haven't seen him in almost a year.. He's called twice... I really hate him.. so yea.. That's not an option.. *hugs* thank you for always caring.
from missmari :
and quietly he laughs (heh heh) shaking his head..creeps closer now, closer to the foot of the bed.....i literally shrieked with glee like an adolescent when i read your cure quote. damn i love you!
from cista :
don't struggle like that or I will only love you more... oh, that song. I'd like the ability to hug a song. literarily.
from imonlyagirl :
=( I really wish i cold give you a hug. but htis will have to do *hugs*..Your not a loser =)
from imonlyagirl :
Unfortunately I can't talk to Nick (new nick hehe) because..well just the fact he doesn't understand..he's younger then me.. and well..not very mature.. so.. that kind of sucks.. to be perfectly honest.. I don't even know why I'm going out with him....
from liadlaith :
Oops! Thanks for that! The old design was nice, but it was a pain to get it to look right. Plus, these are more my colours.
from puddlemonkey :
Toy guns should be outlawed. What do they teach kids?
from doremi :
Hmm.. sorry Itylus, I didn't realise you were still reading my diary. Or I probably would have had put a translation up already. I'm going to do it now over in my diary. Thank you for still reading. *Hugs* ~Cass
from liadlaith :
Danke! That's a very cool poem . . . I don't have much more to say, but I do find it interesting that it's a love poem . . .
from magicpiano :
I saw the first hour of After Life, and it was wonderful. I loved the old woman in her second childhood :) me and my friend sat last night and tried to think of defining moments of happiness. Anyway I missed the second half because I was so tired and fell asleep. Woke up at 4:30am with the tv still on and playing athletics :) I'm gonna type some stuff from my favourite book, not just for your benefit, but for mine. This has interested me. HUMAN HAPPINESS IS SENSUOUS (Lin Yutang) All human happiness is biological happiness. That is strictly scientific. At the risk of being misunderstood, I must make it clearer: all human happiness is sensuous happiness. The spiritualists will misunderstand me, I am sure; the spiritualists and materialists must for ever misunderstand each other, because they don't talk the same language, or mean by the same word different things. Are we, too, in this problem of securing happiness to be deluded by the spiritualists, and admit that true happiness is only happiness of the spirit? Let us admit it at once and immediately proceed to qualify it by saying that the spirit is a condition of the perfect functioning of the endocrine glands. Happiness for me is largely a matter of digestion. [...] If one's bowels move, one is happy, and if they don't move, one is unhappy. That is all there is to it.
from jen7 :
Thanks, Ity!! I'll have to check that movie out, it looks interesting. :)
from liadlaith :
I think I turned up my nose at UNSW because they're not as humanities-orientated as I perceive USyd to be. Subjects I want to do: English, Studies of Religion, Philosophy, possibly Art History and Theory, History, Medieval Studies, Celtic Studies (maybe), Psychology (maybe). I rejected UTS because it's the most soul-crushing building I've ever seen. Why do I want to go to USyd? It's on the bus route and I like the architecture. I am a shallow, shallow person.
from imonlyagirl :
Oh no..I think I made your notes really wide =x
from wingd-pony :
Why not guestbook? Don't you love guestbook no more? *poutage*
from tarabeib :
I miss reading your diary. I miss being normal, and being home. I miss you... Hope you're ok :) *Hugs* Taran
from cista :
just because you're mentioning bruce springsteen... I'm a fan myself, and today I was forced through an english lesson listening to this horrible version of 'the river'. it was *not* springsteen singing, it was some whiny woman shrieking the lyrics out as though it should have been something more in the lines of... well, whatever music I don't even know the name of because I don't listen to it and don't like it' *frustrated* thanks for your comments to my diary by the way, you're sunshine and strawberries or whatever makes your day. (and I chose spanish. it's fun :)
from jen7 :
i dunno...i just did, this morning...you know how you wake up sometimes in another place and wonder where you are and who you are and how you got there? that was me, this morning, except in my own bedroom.
from musicwriter :
hey. i miss you. thanks for the encouraging words. I needed to hear them. I hope that everything for you starts getting a hell of a lot better. You deserve so much better.
from jen7 :
Hahaha. At least *your* entries were jokes...i think i've got a few that are all, "happyhappy!" then "i hate everyone" within MINUTES of each other, maybe. You probably won't get sick now, the body knows when you're in overdrive...however...be prepared for a one- to two-week sickness that starts right after you turn your thesis in. It's the body's way of saying, "Phew! Can i get sick now? Are we done yet? Thanks, man." ;)
from hijinks :
Mwah sweetie, just wanted to say thankyou for my birthday message. Its a dark phase, it will pass, I prescribe getting drunk. Oops spilled egg yolk, wanna see my pjs?
from babycupcake :
hey...well on my way to bed and thought i'd drop by to see what was going on in ur corner of the world...finally discovered that ur the best eh? well keep on telling em! lol anyways...i'm out now...drop by and look at my dump of a diary sometimes....i need the guestbook support! haha ciao
from imonlyagirl :
That's weird I think i'm handling this awful.. Thank you.
from chaos68 :
We're not worthy!!!
Go Ity!
: )
from jen7 :
Wow, sounds like the people in the chatroom were gigantic dufii. Doesn't sound like you should be humiliated, but that they should feel stupid for inept Internet investigative skills. :)
from doremi :
don't worry about what you said. i was thinking of making the colors a bit showable anyways. i like the text size, i just need a better shade of blue. thats what i think anyways. :) also, thanks for coming in again.
from katpowah :
sorry it's taken me so long to respond -- you wrote on the day when everything changed, and i think we've all been in a kind of stupor ever since. anyway. i'm in love with *the shipping news.* and i have to say that much of it is annie proulx's style, yes. i don't think she's trying to prove anything, as much as she's just settling into her own voice, and with it illustrating and accenting her novel. it's quoyle's stop-start indecision, the landscape's --newfoundland's-- tones and character. it's a beautiful book, and i don't think it's gimmicky at all. for that we have, say, william burroughs (for one). but feel free to contradict me -- arguing's half the fun. :]
from doremi :
Thanks for leaving me a note. I will take that in account. But since I spent the whole afternoon trying to do something for it that still hasn't worked, I had to give up. I will do more work next weekend when term break starts. Also, thanks for reading even though you couldn't, I didn't expect anyone to come in at all.
from siopup :
i think when they ask me what i have to declare, i may say loudly, "i declare that i am not wearing any underwear!"
from liadlaith :
Mwahahaha - you shall never know! Unless I decide to write about it . . . damn. No, i've never read that poem (I don't think I've even heard of the poet, although the name is familiar). The King of Pain is actually a Buffy ref.
from imonlyagirl :
I know I know. It's just hard I guess. Thanks hun =)
from musicwriter :
Hey cutie. I love reading whats going on and your thoughts about it. Keep it up or I'll come over and kick your ass.
from feraloregano :
well said. american or not. we should all pay attention.
from babycupcake :
Hey..thanks for signing my guestbook! Your signature counts! woohoo! Anyways, I'm half asleep but looking through your diary, so I won't say anything right yet...if I do it'll come out something like "diary good...make laugh me..." and that would not be good!
from imonlyagirl :
wooo hoo I finally found the pics! =)
from imonlyagirl :
hey hun.. I just want to say thanks. I know it's not as great as real hugs. But It does help and is comforting knowing there are people who are there for me *hugs* thank you =) I hope to talk with you soon. Love always, Kayla
from imonlyagirl :
hehe
from liadlaith :
Hey, thanks for leaving me a note! Happy birthday for the 7th - Virgos rule!
from imonlyagirl :
ahh your so sweet =) (don't ever swallow a bead)
from chaos68 :
9/8/01- Or maybe it's just the headache. I don't have much patience or tolerance. Maybe I should drink some wine to fix it.

Sister, I need wine For color in my skin And darkness for my eyes But I can see the light burn through Still it is the night brings me to you Guided By Voices- Sister I need Wine

from chaos68 :
9/7/01 Ity!!! On behalf of Doofus and myself...Happy Birthday to you!!!! Salute! p.s. I totally get what you were trying to impart in your last entry
from rushlight :
Go Itylus, it's your birthday!
from tarabeib :
Happy birthday, I know it's late. *Hugs*
from invisiblepal :
:) Happy Birthday!!
from imonlyagirl :
Hey I just want to say happy birthday =) I might be a little late. And I wanted to say thanks. It does help knowing there is someone out there who cares. Thanks a bunch hope to talk to you soon Kayla
from chaos68 :
sept/5/01 hello ity! whatever anyone listens to is cool. if it speaks to you..and reaches you .....it is cool by definition. having said that ..rock on! 'As she comes on like a friend But a couple of songs From your old scrapbook Could send her home again' song for bob dylan- david bowie
from jen7 :
Excellent points on the robots thing, wayyyy better than i could have articulated it, and i agree 100%. :) I think you're being too hard on yourself re: the thesis. :P
from invisiblepal :
Hi! Thank you for the Happy Birthday. It was very sweet of you.
from tarabeib :
Thanks... (You know I'll disapear in a week? I'll miss you)
from chaos68 :
Hello Ity !! Well after this I may have to turn my own notes on. Anyway........ I really like your poem. And Feraloregano's first line is cool too.Doofus would be proud! ciao
from anotherghost :
I like the bit about music today. I hate the little contests people have over music. I hate the fact that, for some people, music is the criteria by which to judge other people. Thanks for signing my guestbook. I don't presume to know what American women are thinking, and I'm usually sitting across the room. Or American men, for that matter.
from jen7 :
I like real-life guestbook entries better than notes, i think! :P I think lots of people have rescue fantasies, but i guess it's just being able to work at not trying to keep falling into that pattern in *real life* that's the hard part. Thanks for signing my guestbook the other day! I was definitely being uberparanoid. :)
from feraloregano :
hey im the first one in here! yay! this 'notes' business was called an 'analyser' in the beginning. what is happening here?? anyway, i thought i might leave u a nice beginning to something: "The parachuting blindness of a sun-soaked morning..."

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