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Wow. I remember you! Welcome back, glad to hear things are going well for you. Congrats on becoming a psych nurse! Must be quite demanding, but hopefully rewarding. And well done on the weight loss, too. No small feat.

from anti-gens :

no way! sex talks are the funnest ever! seriously! you don't think girls learn this stuff from parents or tv do you? you learn from having wicked friends with funny stories! also, mum told me you two went for a girls day, which is awesome and i'm sure you had a super good time. Hopefully next weekend you can come out to oakatokes with us to look at the house i want to rent for the wedding. xo. L.

from anti-gens :

jesus! when did you get so old?!?!?! i'm kind of excited to have wicked older sister sex conversations with you.

from anti-gens :

well my dear, i am planning on getting them out - iot's just a matter of strategizing my timing so that i'm not missing any classes. i think if i schedule the procedure for a friday i'll at least have the weekend to recover mostly before i have to go back to school. also, there is in fact only one gravity pope in calgary, three across canada. However, i'm no longer working at all. This month has been huge for the building as well as school since i'm really going for a bunch of scholarships so i'm just studying and babysitting the building for a while. but i do miss you too, so you'll have to call me and make a coffee date. xoxoxoxoxXOOXXXOOOX! (<---that's how much i love you.)

from anti-gens :

the bitch about that modest mouse show was that, the september date was awful. Isaac Brock was so coked out, their set sucked, the played almost nothing from building something of out of nothing, and they took at least fifteen minutes to come back out for an encore that sucked. And then shortly thereafter, Isaac Brock started pulling himself back together, working on Good News For People Who Love Bad News (an album that's all about sobering up and starting over) and they played another show in calgary that I didn't go to because, well, the first show sucked. The second show was better. I lost out. Call me.

from anti-gens :

think in dualities of biology and boys. i love you. call you when i get back.

from anti-gens :

you're turning into such a good writer. I'm sorry you weren't around on saturday, i wish you could have been there but i hope you had fun! call me soon. xo.

from anti-gens :

i miss you too. i just got home from saskatchewan and i'm so tired of travelling. all i want is my couch and csi. we'll set something up for this weekend, you mom and i? call me. xo. L.

from anti-gens :

but you sister loooovess yoooouuuu......

from anti-gens :

YEAH! ALRIGHT! You're discovering the beautiful balance of homework and long walks downtown! YES! that was exactly my strategy to graduate. Kensington is beautiful in the sun. Also, from experience, it is always the sunniest part of downtown. try eighter one of the roasteries next time you need to find a quiet place to study - roaswterie too = no smoking, roasterie by the jugojuice = smoking. LOVE YOU!

from anti-gens :

trick to sleeping with new peircing: roll onto your stomach, but balance your body depending on which side you usually want to sleep on by pulling one or the other leg up. turn your head to the same side as your higher leg and rest the upper portion of your head (above your ear) on your fore-arm. if you elevate your head enough with your arm your ear has no contact with the pillow. it's a trick i've mastered over the years. xo, kiddo. P.S. there is such a thing. you just have to define it for YOURSELF (because it's your life,, and you are fully capable of living it yourself) and accept that it may not always be perfect, but it will always be there. it's like an overarching existence. if your world is a world of layers, i think happiness is the outermost layer, while dissapointment, discontentment, sadness and tragedy are all underlying layers. but you'll find your own metaphore for it. your own answers. that's just mine. love you.

from anti-gens :

mike and i just read and re-read that journal entry several times. and then i looked at mike and said, "it's not obvious that she's MY little sister. i had NO INFLUENCE on her upbringing whatsoever!" because you're such a mini-me. and it's so funny! also, CALL ME! also, also, read this: "http://trezzy.diaryland.com/index.html", i think you'll like it.

from anti-gens :

hey hey hey! you have to remember that no matter how hard you TRIED, it's still not your teachers FAULT that you didn't do well. i've spent WEEKS preparing essays that i've failed. sometimes it pays to let somebody teach you how to do better. you'll get it, kiddo.

from anti-gens :

i know, babe. we'll see each other at the very least. but cross your fingers.

from anti-gens :

i am trying SO HARD to make sure we're all together this year, babe. i don't know if i can be there christmas morning for presents, but i can almost guarantee we'll get to sit down and have dinner together. also, happy fifteenth! i know it's a few days late. sorry hunny. but i sure love you! xo. -L.

from anti-gens :

thanks, kiddo.

from anti-gens :

just a heads up, if you need me to phycially threaten anybody so that they leave you alone (you know, just, ANYBODY) i will. because i love you. and ain't nobody fuckin' wit' my baby sistah.

from anti-gens :

totally normal. i am friends with one person i went to junior high with. we rarely spoke in high school and started to get close again in university. i am friends with one person i met in highschool. her name is jessica, and she is my best friend. one other person i knew before high school was really really mean to me through elementry and junior high. he went to a different high school until grade twelve. we got close last summer and he moved to edmonton for university. we still keep in touch. That's about it kiddo. Don't fret, there's nothing wrong with you - it's just another part of growing up. And i'm proud of you.

from anti-gens :

for me it lasted through most of high school. I think it's because I'm such a feircely independant person - it was hard for my ego to subdue its self and realize that Yes, I am in fact subject to other peoples management and Yes, I do have to follow the rules. Little things, like having my cell phone ring in the hallway and teachers think it was okay to talk over the person on the other end of the line, demanding things like that I give them my phone or follow them to the office - I did not deal well with this. This is why I tried to convince to you attend Bishop Carroll. You, I believe, much like me need your independence. You need to assert control and responsibility over you life. I don't think I would have made it through high school without the option of leaving by myself and studying in coffee shops. Anyways, towards the end of highschool, mostly in summer school of grade eleven when i took my first thirty level course and throughout grade twelve, I realized that I thrived off of being mature and taking care of myself and I stopped caring so much about everything else. I was making goals and acheiving them and that was all that mattered to me. thats also when i started getting serious about working in the music industry - finding a realistic goal to pursue gave me the drive to be responsible. In my newly acheived adulthood I think I realized that my priorities had been skewed by my hormones and that that was just a part of growing up. When you stop feeling like you need to prove how grown up you are and just start taking responsibility for yourself a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders. sure, life is still difficult and no matter how exciting it is at first, paying bills is still hard - but it's not nearly as difficult as struggling through adolescence and i wouldn't be where you are again for all the money in the world. I promise you'll make it through just fine. Believe me when I say that it's out of your control and that as women, we all have to go through it. But you just have to try to stay calm and keep your head on your shoulders - remind yourself that whatever horrible circumstances may be facing you, that they're only another learning experience and that you will grow through them and be one step closer to the end of this road. I love you. I hope that helped.

from anti-gens :

totally beaten and bruised and destroyed and SO SO HAPPY. that's just the way it works. you'll do fine.

from anti-gens :

To kill a mocking bird is one of my all time favourite books.

from anti-gens :

we were discussing Plato's, The Trial and Death of Socrates and the segments in teh Euthyphro where Plato presses Euthypro on questions like is turth above God, because turth is ultimate and unquestionable and therefor unchanging because it is beyond th reach and power of EVERYTHING, or is God above turth, and do we love truth because AGod loves truth and if God is above truth, God therefor can define truth, and shoudl he chose to do so, God can alter truth, and we must accept that. Anyways, I dislike my professors tendency to present complex ideas like the aforestated in black and white textiles. I myself am rarely a black and white thinker, and I tend to see things in terms of context or perhaps abstracts (which as I'm sure you guessed from my jorunal entry he HATES) so I said that I didn't subscribe to either belief - that I thought that God WAS truth, and that because the two were synonymous, in that neither was larger than the other, and that turth was intrinsic to every human being, that that was why we had relationship with God - because we mutually understand truth. Beyond that there are a million more ideas that can take it one step further - but theres where he lost it on me. He spent the rest of the class berating my ideas and telling me and my whole class exactly why I was wrong, uneductaed, silly... it was pretty rough. But don't worry little one - i'll pull through. you know me, i rarely let anybody walk on me without finding SOME way to teach them a lesson. xo.

from anti-gens :

that's REALLY funny. i once knew a girl who's science teacher watched as another student poured corrosive chemicals on her head, and she had to have skin graphs done to repair some of the damage. contrarily to your situation however, i was absolutely humiliated while in a very composed and matter of fact manner (i.e. my professor burned no holes in his shirt), my professor totally tore me to shreds based on his ten second analysis of what i was and what i believed in. anyways, other than that how are you holding up?

from anti-gens :

i wish i could tell you that university is SOOOO much better than highschool. the truth is, like most things, it's what you make of it. it's big. it's overwhelming. often times it's confusing. like everything new, it's just another thing to get used to and figure out. but life after highschool is more than posy secondary - which ever avenue you chose to go. it's making a life for yourself. it's figuring out who you are. getting your own place, paying bills, buying furniture, groceries, nick nacks and neccesities. it's making plans and going about your day without the hassles of everyone elses obligations. you'll get there. being a teenager is awful in it's own right but we all go through it begrudgingly only to realize that we are so greatful to have learned as much as we did.

from anti-gens :

everybody says that high school is the best years of your life - and that's the everybody that's like everybody else. and if you're anything apart from that - which i believe you are - highschool is that part of yoru life where everything is too far from something or too close to something and it's the awkward in between. But three years goes by in a blink (i know that's hard to believe, right now) and eventually it's over, and you get to start LIVING. hold on kiddo, i know where you're at and i know it's uncomfortable - but you can make it through and learn a lot in the meanwhile, and for what it's worth, you can hold onto the fact that it get's better on the other side. xo. -L

from anti-gens :

EMAIL! i e-mailed you at jessdugan55. XOXOXO!

from anti-gens :

also, one last thing. i AM NOT trying to tell you what to do or how to live your life. you arer quite capable of that. i am ONLY trying to be your sister and friend, and help you to make a well advised decision, with a well rounded perception and understanding. xo.

from anti-gens :

it was my LAST intention to upset you. i only want the best for you, so please try to remember that. Mom's really angry with me because apparently i sent you into "an absolute fit". i'm sure that's a hyperbole, but still i'm very sorry. i love you kiddo, and i always will. so lean on me for support because i am your rock, and i will never abandon you. on that same token, i'm here to try and guide you too. and in that interest, i have a lot of knowledge that i'd like to impart on you regarding your current struggle with religion. try and remember that i was once where you are, and i may be a realiable source of information. can we have coffee? just a leisurly conversation? i'd really like that. i really like you. xo. L.

from anti-gens :

We need to talk. Badly, and at length. I'll pick you up, wherever you are, and we'll go for coffee. or, i work from nine am to five pm everyday at chinook centre. can you meet me here? i'll take you back to my place and we can talk there? I REALLY need to talk to you. actually... i'm calling you right now. i love you. LOVE. you. -L.

from anti-gens :

don't do it to yourself, kiddo. in a year you'll look back and wish you hadn't wasted the time. energy on those people is absolutely wasted. you have so much joy inside you. smile always, and let that joy shine through as a testimony to the world: joy IS worth it. laughter IS what makes the world turn in the right directions. next time she tries to push your buttons or suck some of your energy, just smile. tell her you've got somewhere to be. tell her you'll see her later. ask me some time about Dee. she was my katie. and i learned that it isn't worth the tough front or the angry face and the crude things we said to each other. (not to mention all the heartache i went through for the things she said behind my back and to my friends.) eventually, i learned that if people saw me for who i really was, it didn't matter what the hell anybody was saying about me or who anybody was talking to. people like that, social leaches and drama queens, are a dime a dozen. real friends, like you and ashley, are the ones that count. anyways, enough older sisterly advice. i love you. -L.

from anti-gens :

no.. but... okay...

from anti-gens :

does that mean the flames are out of the runnings? i don't get it.

from anti-gens :

it's probably a little of both, sweetheart.

from anti-gens :

well, the message comes across differently to me. also, i loathe hocky.

from anti-gens :

i still think ignoring the artists spiritual beliefs when trying to represent them is a poor choice. but, yes i'm very happy for them. i'm taking mum dress shoping . mike and i are actually house sitting for them this evening. exoh, L.

from anti-gens :

i'm fine with the fact that your lyrics are from evanescence. you were right and i was wrong. it just seems strange that you're portraying the lyrics in such a blemished light. i only mean that, your template seems to rather oppose their beliefs. after all, they ARE christian. and all of that is totally beside my own beliefs and/or opinion and only in the best interest of my keener sister who loves always to present herself in a light which compliments her brilliant intellect. exoh. love you too. L.

from anti-gens :

i'm assuming that sarah changed your template for you, since i can't imagine you chosing to write 'denied christ' at the bottom of your diary. wheteher you really want those words painted across your diary or not, you should tell sarah that a bunch of your links don't work and if she doesn't know how to fix them, I will. love you. - L.

from anti-gens :

my darling sister leaves the most formal note. i'll fix it when i get the chance. email me your password and things. don't be surprised if it takes a few days. i'm really busy with school, etc. exoh, L.

from anti-gens :

i was out and about this weekend and found your christmas gift. it.s just the perfect thing for you. it.s just the most beautiful perfect thing that only you will understand and only you could appreciate to the full extent. get excited. xoxoxoxox.

from baby-purr :

IM NOT SUCKIN' ON THE DASHBOARD!!!!

from baby-purr :

HUNCHBACK..yoo ummmmmmm leave me notes back blahhhhh* jesss yhooo suckkkkk likeeee monkeyy POO yessss yhoo DO ^_*

from baby-purr :

fcuk a dcuk..lol

from baby-purr :

P.S. i did leave b4 ahah then i came bak todae its sundae ahha..

from baby-purr :

yea so i am no longer tempted to call ne one hunchback but WHERE ARE YHOO!?!? ur back todae right..wait ur at ur dads wowzers im smarrt..NOT bahahaha butt omgss i have fcukkin bangs mann..ooh and yes i finally get im off laughing on a fast camel..lol and "i looked like the hunchback of notradame in capri pants HAHAHAH LMFAO!! lalalaaaaazzzzz tlk to yhoo laterrrrrr hunch posseeeeee..

from baby-purr :

AM I?? ahah yes iam byeee.xo.ash.

from baby-purr :

i have no life im leaving now..orrrrrr..

from baby-purr :

LMFAO neeeheeeeeeeneeeeeeeehhhhheeee [horse niose if yhoo coudnt teell] ride the frog miss hahaha ooo and the *shave the buttocks hand move* hahahhaah WOW too funny LMAO HAHAHA!!

from baby-purr :

OR.. what if i went chasing people yelling IM NOT SUCKING ON THE DASHBOARD HUNCHBACK at people in the mall tomorrow..hmmmmmmm..

from baby-purr :

HAHAAHHAHAHAHHHH!! FUNNY HUNCHBACK I AM!! ciao*

from baby-purr :

ciao hunchback oh and yes britney spears and christina aguilera peformed together then maddonna came out to perform with them and open kissed both.. :0!! lesbians..but i still like them..they arent butch..haha lipstick lesbians or just bi..oh i dont know what im talking about anymore..oh well byee hunchback..hmm is it possible i just keep leaving you notes so i can type and say hunchback outloud and pretend im telling myself what im typing so i dont come off as crazy..maybeeeeeee just maybeee but what are yhoo going to do about ur sittuation?? cioa hunchbackkkkk..

from baby-purr :

nahhh they might think im a crazy loon talking to myself about wild hunchbacks..hmmm i wonder..??

from baby-purr :

..maybe i will just say hunchback out of the blue to no one..

from baby-purr :

hmmmmm well i have no one to call hunchback..i was tempted to call my mom a hunchback but ive been rather mean to her tonight i dont think i will..lol but talk to you soon hope you have fun camping!! =) xo.ash.

from baby-purr :

beastttt lovvveeeeerrrr..

from baby-purr :

Uhh jess im confused was this like b4 yhoo came to my house?..haha ne ways lil timmy @&%$ man loves yhoo!!ahahaha j/k kaee byee.

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