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Yeah the smashing pumpkins... I love disarm...and that one with "the world is a vampire" *can't think of the name right now* best...but I have lots and lots songs of them. A comic and song of NIN inspired me with my newest entry *grin* So I put the musicvideo on my site. Seeya!

from suta :

Wow, so deep. Hope your doing well, kid.

from suta :

You know, I never care what people at school think of me. One day I just got sick of the people who do what everyone does. I bought myself a black long trenchcoat and decided to be different. And the funny thing is...they respect me the way I really am.

from suta :

Well, it didn't really ruin my day. It just makes me angry. It's not just a unimportant person, someone from school or people like that. It was someone from my family and that's the whole point. They don't bully me at school. Hah, I bet they are too afraid! Don't mind not leaving me not as many notes. I know I am irritating with things like that. It surprises me you still read my shit. To me it seems always the same, okay, it's always the same feeling, but still... Ah it's just too much to explain in a note. The only thing I can tell you is that there is much more going on here than you think. Know what? I'll add your to my msn, kay? Love, Luc.

from suta :

God doesn't hate bi and homo seksuals. That's nonsense. It's the church who is saying this, not God. Everyone has the right to love, doesn't matter male or female. And hey, a catholic is saying this.

from suta :

*pats on the head*

from suta :

My friends are always close, but...they don't know what's going on. They have no idea what I feel or think. They don't know what happened in the past. No one knows. I can't tell them. They seem so happy and I want the people around me to be happy. Yeah, your right. I should cheer up. I hate myself like this. Still, I am what I am. Can't help it. ^_^ I hope the guitar will cheer me up a bit. The Killers are great. I love them. There are one of my few happy-bands. Loneliness is one of the things that belongs to life. I should get used to it. Love, Luc.

from suta :

Yeah, I thought like that too! I was like *toink?* O_O I also like drums, but I am already playing guitar...and I have dramaclub, a job etc... I would love to learn playing drums and piano...I just haven't time... (I barely have for my guitar) So, how are you doing?

from suta :

Then we'll see where the road takes us... I like that phrase... Reminds me of my last entry...I was kinda thinking like that too. *grin* Now it's "under the gun". Anyway I wanted to look at some sites for an electric guitar now. *smirks* I wanna have one. Have some fun. Love, Luc.

from suta :

WAH! I was listening the same song when I wanted to read your entry. The killers! YAY!

from suta :

Whoooeeiieee *hugs* I am happy for you and the girl. *smirk smirk* Have some fun!!! ^_^V

from suta :

Nice one, little but nice. *smirks* I don't think you wanna live on my world.

from suta :

Whoeieee back from Germany!!! (Well, what can I say about that: AWFUL!) ((only the comics and the food were fucking awesome *grin*)) Oh and about that entry. I don't know how I managed to write cos I was not really... I don't know how to say... I just was fucking down. Oh yes, I know you also feel like that sometimes. I read your entries, ya know ^_^ And I notice when you felt bad or good... My ones always sound bad, although there are really happy ones... *sniffle* Oh still no news about the girl? Well, I wish you all luck of the world ^_^ But hey it's late over here and I've to sleep. Nighty Night!!!

from suta :

Oh and clear description? I just write down what I think, like I always do. I am just a weird kid.

from suta :

Sad? Yeah, I think so... Thank you for the note. ^_^ Cheered me up a bit. How are you doing? Your life's going well? Well, it's late over here. I guess I should go sleeping. Seeya! Mutou.

from suta :

Itlay? I never heard of that... ^_^;;; The only thing I can think of is Italy... -_-V

from suta :

Wish ya luck ^^

from suta :

Anorexia...don't... It's such a waste of your life.

from suta :

-_-;;; (Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve) I guess I am really weird, ha?

from desdemonia :

Hey, just wanted to give you the perspective of a 21 y/o who went through all of the things you are currently going through. (I know this sounds fucking awful and believe me I don't think that I *know* exactly what you are feeling, just that I went through a period of my life of intense depression like it seems you are now). Keep going even if things seem like they are ending around you. You just have to prove to yourself that even if life is painful you still have the guts to go through it. I know that's really hard and if you ever need someone to talk to in more details please e-mail ! And the other thing... use this period for your creativity. I did some of my best writing, drawing, and art in general during "The Depression" as I call it. So explore that side of it and embrace it. Take care of yourself and don't give up :)

from suta :

Hey Josi, there isn't always a reason why you feel like you do. I feel a lot down and depressed without knowing the exact reason, or it's just a reason too hard to describe, too hard to understand. But hey, life goes on and so should you. Sayonara, Suta Mutou.

from suta :

OH!!! You listed my brother! Yay!

from suta :

Hey josi, are you okay? *pats* You sound pretty depressed. Okay I feel not happy lately too, but I think I am always like that.<--changing moods. I hope you will feel better soon. Wish you all the best, kid and rock on. Suta Mutou.

from anibananie :

You like Team America! Huzzah. I *loved* that film, although I have to say the inner child in me went hysterical during the vomiting scene.

from suta :

Oh, I like your music-taste! *just saw your winamp playlist* Although I prefer the harder stuff. *yeah, I am an agressive girl* Rammstein ist fantastisch. They make me proud to be half German. *grin* Seeya later, Josi, I am going on a trip to germany now. ^^V

from suta :

Also a Happy Valentine's Day to you, Josi. ^__^

from suta :

I like your writing (and the quizzies) also. I never could write like that. It would be boring. I am dark lately, cos this is a dark period for me. I can't explain, cos I don't understand it myself fully, so yeah *shrugs* Bye!

from suta :

Hee hee hee, I am sorry I am leaving you always notes... It's just I like to get notes, so that's why I think others do too, that's why I leave them notes. *smirk smirk* Yeah, maybe it's sad, but I abandoned crying now for over a year. Me poetic? When I am overly melancholic I always write stuff like that. I can't write different, or else it would be boring. Thank you for the note Josje. It cheered me up. ^_^ You also keep on rocking. (YAY!) Love & Peace!!!! (ah vash is great)

from suta :

Well, I did that quizzie too, but...I had wings of steel, so no success -_-;;; Your right with that part about gay marriages... I, myself, can't understand why everyone in America is so upset with them marry. I've friends who are gay and bi and I am happy I am living in Europe, although I would love to make a trip to America. And then the love-part... I know people who love and I know their love is real, but for me love doesn't exist. It just depends on what person you are, I guess... Sure, I love my friends and (parts of) my family, but loving someone and beloved through that person. I've never known that. ^^ Well, I am pretty hyper today, so I won't bother you anymore. Sayonara! Suta Mutou

from ghostofgor :

I didnt join the military to improve the economy eric. Thats the first thing. Second yes, under the table the US did support saddam, as he was at war with the Atoolah of Iran at the time. Who was also vaging a private war against the US and supporting terrorists in his own country. A good reason they hate us in Iraq, we left after the first war and they were slaughtered because they supported us. My pride eric stems from the fact I didnt run when I thought My country needed me, REGARDLESS of the circumstances. You are supposed to take the good with the bad and be proud. Not run to *ahem* Canada to get away from responsibility. At 17, I wouldnt expect you to be able to relate to being in the military, but that is no way an insult. But your idea srepresent a majority of what people have to say. "Its all about oil". And if you think its abouyt the economy......why are we, THE US spending billions there monthly? Thats a major reason our citizens are wanting us out. I rarely write something unless I feel strongly about it. I felt you needed to hear more than what you have been shown. The media outlets only show you what they want you to see, to stir up constantly. But what I can tell you firsthand is when I was in a thrid world country, and I shared MY OWN food with a starving citizen, they were indeed grateful. The media doesnt speak for the majority who are grateful we are there. Please eric.......make sure you learn more about all sides before you decide. I dont just say it to sound important(not that you did). But I despize ungrateful people. My words were directed towards them. I hope this made some sense. GhostOfGor

from desdemonia :

Now I listen to any type of music, just because I'm weird like that. I don't like much of HipHop's lyrics though, because of the reasons you've written down, they are often just talking about bling and ho's. But one of my favorite artists is DMX, who talks himself of bitches and guns and everything. But after living on the streets I can actually relate to what he says, I also like that fact that in many of his songs he talks about God and religion. Now I'm not a religious person by any means... but he actually tries to improve his world... EX: "Prayer", "Angel", and "I miss you" (My favorite, he writes about his grandma). Also Jagged Edge "No Respect"... look at those lyrics and know that not all hip hop and rap artists are assholes :)

from suta :

Ow...that's a lot about you... Hey I am also a catholic....-_-;;; (the worst one ever, but still) *smirks* *yawn* I guess I need to sleep. Goodnight...

from suta :

wow, that's exactly what all europeans think! ^^ At least there are enough priests here who do gay and lesbian marriages. Are we that more easier than americans? Weird, weird, really weird. Fuck Bush! Yay! (although the fact I didn't like Kerry either... *shudders*) Seeya later, josi. ^_^V doei doei.

from suta :

I took a look at your homepage and it seems pretty interesting. You should take esmart instead of tripod. So you like trigun and zelda? *saw your drawings* I like them too. ^^ Love & Peace!!! ^_^V

from delirium21 :

my bad. you don't live on PEI do you? sorry. LOL well how are things in MEDICINE HAT? ;) what a funny name.

from delirium21 :

and how are things on beautiful PEI? :)

from suta :

One of the coolest persons? o_O* your kidding... -_-; I am a fucked-up-in-the-mind-little-monster-kid. ah well, thanks anyway *smirks*

from makesaythink :

Hey- I found your diary via Frou Frou, and it's excellent. I agree about locked diaries- they're uber frustrating.

from suta :

Hi. I really enjoyed reading this entry, cause I know I exactly think the same about it ^^ And about no using names? I don't care. You describe at least a bit what you think or did, mine is just...yeah what? It's not that I want to know everything about you...that would be creepy too. *cough cough* blah... *sick* Have a nice day! ^^V Love & Peace!

from star-fox :

Hey, I saw your banner. I like your template!

from suta :

Yay! ...backstreet boys????? *shudders* They are creepy. punk-pop-rock whatever...it's fake and I don't like it. I bet avril has a secret ambition for that britney-girl...and good charlotte? My friend gave me a cd for my birthday last year....I was pretty shocked, but didn't say anything...How could she do that to me?????? I put it somewhere with all unwanted pop&rapper cds....IEK! But I wanna sleep now...just came back from Germany... Seeya!

from desdemonia :

Thank you so much !! It's why I love my background, I change moods very often and it's just very easy to change the pictures at the top of my page that way... I might be able to work on a layout for you if you'd like, but I'm really not sure how long it will take since I work and all that... you'd have to give me a topic though. :)

from suta :

Killing Good Charlotte? A good idea, a really good idea... please do avril lavigne too. All fakefreakstuff. *grin*

from candoor :

merry happy new year :)

from suta :

*smirks* Thank you, dear.

from suta :

I wish ya a Happy New Year!!!!!!! ^_____^

from suta :

WAI! Your a calm guy. I am calm too, most of the time extremely calm...ah I guess that's called cold. *smirk* Whoeie!!! Coffee's ready! *caffeinejunk made coffee* Hope you had some wonderful christmas days. ^_^ Seeya, kid.

from suta :

Merry Christmas! ^_^V

from theascension :

Hope the holidays treat you well.

from suta :

Ha! Weird entry by the way! ^__^ I like it.

from suta :

Did you mean my new entry? That Just-an-ugly-beast-one? Well, how can I explain you... I don't feel like it all the time. But most of my entries were written when I was really depressive, angry, sad whatever Negative! I write better when I am not happy. Of course I don't feel like that all the time, but that entry describes exactly how I felt at that time. ^__^ Yeah, maybe it's kinda sad I feel often negative, but that's just how I am. I write in my diary what I can't tell about to anyone, get it? Wow, what a note!!! Well, kid, I've to go. Sayonara!!! ^___^V

from suta :

By the way I am fishy and dragon. *smirk*

from suta :

I only love rock...actually...oh no! Also Japanese pop and instrumental (no trance) (Yes, I know but I like different sorts of rock either. Japanese rock is also great, Spanish and German too) ^_^ Ever heard of the J-rockband Malice Mizer? They're awesome! Actually I love all rock... I can't explain why. *sniffle* I just can't stand pop, no standard-human-being-music for me... But that's just me, I am a weird kid. I would rather kiss Marilyn Manson than Enrique Iglesias... *shrugs* Well, I need to sleep too. *YAWN* G'night! ^____^ *waves*

from suta :

Ow...little question *forgot to ask* Why gemini? I mean... twin? By the way comics are absolutely awesome, I just have tooooo many, not only manga, but alsooo lots of comics... Dutch comics, but still.... GREAT! Ever read that manga Godchild? I love it... www.sakura-crisis.net ,you can download it there... oh shut up *talks to herself* Seeya! ^^

from suta :

Heyz! Thank you for listing me *hugs*!!! I love your music-taste too... There are just tooo many rockbands...to mention them all... they are all... GREAT! *patpat* I listed you too, kid, so don't worry. I've an affection for everything that's wrong or psycho or too bloody for the normal standard-human being. I guess I am a bit odd, oh no... I forgot, I am mentally ill. *smirk* Have a nice day!!! ^___^

from suta :

Anime is uber-nifty and Miyazaki is also great. (Ever heard of Angel Sanctuary, Mpd psycho or something like Cowboy Bebop?)Linkinpark is also awesome... I like all their albums, Hybride Theory, Reanimation or Meteora, although it's soft-rock. But that's not the point. You said in your profile, you draw??? Why not making pics of it and put them at a page in your diary, with a comment-opportunity!!! I did the same and it's great. *smirk* Wowwwwww, a whole note and I even don't know you. *grin* Seeya kid!! Sayonara and ganbatte!!!

from pornoviolent :

like the world needs more people obsessed with anime

from desdemonia :

It's rare to find young people with so much depth anymore, your writing is admirable. I love the fact that you've read Terry Goodkind as well as the fact that you like anime as much as I do. I'll be back ! :)

from narami :

I'm a banner clicker too, and how good my luck was that today I cliked on yours and you had a link to swordsonline.com!! I think I found the Red Wood Jo I want *drools* Thanks for that (how did I miss that website??!!). Also, interesting diary will be cheking it out. Have a great week!

from hilseymour :

hello. I clicked your banner too. I just came to tell you that it's not just a teenage thing that "wanting someone" cos it seems like it goes on and on and then when you get someone you want to be single again. I like you. I may be back. Because you like RHCP, Spirited Away and you're bi. All of which we have in common.

from hilseymour :

from for-you-only :

I cliked your banner. I like your layout. :)

from naivereact :

Bush's people hacked the election. In the end, Kerry won.

from skye-blue :

Hey. I read a few of your entries and I just thought you should know I really love what you have to say. I think it's awesome that you're so politically involved, because really, it's tragic how many teenagers aren't interested or even capable of thinking of the world outside their immediate lives. I'll be honest and say that I don't often write about my political standpoint in my diary, but rest assured I have one and I feel very strongly about it. Anyway, just wanted to commend you. Rock on my friend.

from naivereact :

Please forgive America, I voted for Kerry. Bush does not represent me, he does not represent the U.S., he is a stand alone character of nihilist self-absorbed absolution. I agree with you completely, America stands with our Canadian brethren. Please hold hope for us, for I will always hold hope for the fine citizens of Canada. Thank you.

from theascension :

Your a pretty good fucking writer, kid. Opinionated people are the most interesting.

from lulu-burden :

Hi... I just wanted to say Hi! and that I like your diary. Drop by my page and say hello sometime ; ) Later! Lulu

from moony68 :

thanks. i know a person whose best friend is a lesbian, yet he's homophobic. what's up with that? he's sort of... an idiot. but yeah, now we're stuck with The Joker for another four years. how does canada choose its prime minister?

from euphoriac :

P.S. all my previous points still stand.

from euphoriac :

Hey man, I just meant the "DON'T RELEASE MUSIC" thing as joke cos I really dislike most of the music you like. I'd actually be interested in hearing some of your stuff, if you'd be so willing. Not many people round these parts (I live in Calgary) delve into electronica, so I'd like to hear what you've come up with.

from cmboggs :

clicked on your banner (good reason for going gold) and I can really appreciate the rants on parental units. I live alone now but still manage to get lectured on my word choice. Seriously, I still fear using the word ain't in my parents presence.

from moony68 :

the book is brilliant. life-changing. trust me on this. :)

from candoor :

Anarchy is dangerous, but not as dangerous as conformity... balance is safe, unless we fall.

from euphoriac :

P.S. dood, i live in your province

from euphoriac :

Hey, uh, I don't know you, but I just saw your banner and clicked on it out of morbid curiousity, and I must say, your most recent post as to be the silliest thing I have ever read. And not like "fun" silly either. Every part of it loses. I think the part that I hate the most is your long rant about authority. The reason that human's have formed social and political hierarchies is because there must be some kind of order and structure to life for it to function properly. You think it was FUN to live in the Wild West? THINK AGAIN. Anarchy DOES NOT WORK. Sure, all of us punks would throw a mighty fist into the air if all government and social systems came crashing down, but we would be please for about TEN SECONDS before complete and total chaos set in, and the First world would quickly revert to a third. Anyways, just please try not to say ridiculous things in the future, and don't think that including a random quote from Voltaire that you learned in Grade 11 Social makes all your points valid. Plus, please do not release a CD. PLEASE. JUST DON'T. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.

from moony68 :

um... to the last poster, josepi is canadian. and to josepi: thanks for replying. i wasn't being a smart-ass, but i was joking. :) i recommend a book to you called ISHMAEL. it's awesome and right up your alley.

from iamhubpluh :

If you are voting AGAINST Bush, check out http://BADNARIK.com he is for 100% EQUALITY right for the Gay/Lesbian community as well as for stoping the war in Iraq, and NOT sending more troops as Kerry is for (based on his debate answers). Vote your heart, not the less of two evils!

from moony68 :

so, um. should you be allowed to rape children, if that helps you explore the bounderies of humanity? ;) just a thought. and i actually am interested in hearing your response to it, so please reply. also, "medicine hat" is a very unusual name. it sounds like a band from the 80s. :)

from banefulvenus :

absolutely LOVE your site! Found it from clicking on your banner....

from nyamo :

hey there! i'm new and i was just looking at your profile, i noticed that you and i have a couple things in common (not any that i mentioned on my own profile). send me an email if you wanna chat.

from nyamo :

hey there! i'm new and i was just looking at your profile, i noticed that you and i have a couple things in common (not any that i mentioned on my own profile). send me an email if you wanna chat.

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