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messages to keryanna:
(click here to add new message):

from himeros :
Nicely put as always. Thanks for being there; I don't feel quite so lonely anymore>
from himeros :
Isn't it about time for you to be adding a new journal entry?
from himeros :
Thanks for the second note. I will admit that I have had a pretty hard life. Not that I let that be an excuse for failure (my failures are like my accomplishments - spectacular) but it does play a part in my depression. Also, I'm pretty certain I inheritated my mental state from my mother who was depressed most of the time and was diagnosed with paranoia. I could go into a long list of all the depraved and horrible things I've seen in my life but I will spare you the gory details. Suffice it to say that I've seen some bad things. The human species is not as advanced as we like to think, I believe. We are capable of greatness, true, but also great savagery. I've wrote about this in my diary but I will reiterate here: I believe that this existence is Hell. Sorry for the downer note. I really do appreciate your comments.
from himeros :
"Kiwis have a life lesson built right into them: Enjoy the sweetness of life - but don't overindulge too much... otherwise, you'll suffer the consquences." Truer words were never spoken. Immediately upon reading your note to me, I quickly clicked over to your site to thank you for the very grounded and practical advice you gave me. I begin to write and it occured to me that the thoughts of a caring (albeit anonymous) individual doesn't come around very often. Especially thoughts as eloquent as yours. So, I hopped into my hotel room jaccuzzi to relax and think about what I could say. The only thing that did was relax me and help me think of words like beautiful, eloequent and cozy. I dried off and, 10000 Maniacs playing on my headphones (your writing goes well with that band), read some of your earlier entries. You MUST write more often. Thank you for caring enough to write me.
from msgaladriel :
Thanks for your note, I was able to access your diary today. Probably was just me being technically dumb as usual. Great entry - I think you're doing a wonderful thing. Btw - brown is a wonderful colour!
from im2evil4u :
That is wonderful and thank you for sharing. I have found the website and plan to do the same thing. Exceptional.
from msgaladriel :
Hi, I tried to access your diary and it's locked. Hope you're doing well and I'll keep checking back.
from canadiangrrl :
Sometimes the things you say and the way you write makes me want to cry for the beauty of it.
from sir-robert :
Hello, you were undoubtably sent this email because the admin of this site, myself, has discovered your email address online, and was led to believe you had a sudden or eternal interest in poetry or writing or more specifically the likes of ee cummings, and I can't forget to mention Pablo Picasso. Www.mindflowers.co.uk is an online community/forum/mad house that is devoted to the arts. You can post your own personally written poetry/prose/anything here, and we also have section for artwork and photography, and muc more. I do hope you accept this invitation, and join your fellow artists at MindFlowers dot coe dot yookay!! Hope to see ya there! -robeRt
from hothead :
hey doll...thanks for the note. just for the sake of argument, i did ask TheGirl not to read the diary, and was told that if it was there, she'd read it (due to that just being her nature). while this is not ideal, i don't have many other options other than locking it, which i refuse to do...i do have the locked diary but it's just for old friends, really, not everyone. it's a compromise, it's not fantastic, but there's things we do for the sake of love, right?? anyway, thank you for the note...it was very sweet of you. come back anytime!
from intheory27 :
Thank you so much for your note. I'm trying to somehow allay my fears, but words like yours are doing a much better job at it. Thank you, and I do hope I find my experience more like yours (merely perceived insanity) than I'd expected. :)
from urban-faerie :
Cheers love. xx
from faithspoison :
hahaha yes, never be defeated by weird links!!!
from zinan :
Im starting over. But this time I am not going to give out the link. Unfortunately that was how I was found by one who had no business finding me. She found me in the lists of those who were my previos favourites. Thank you ever so much, you have no idea how your writing affects my life, my attitude and my daily outlook on life in general.
from urrha :
hi! thanks for leaving me a note it was very considerate and kind of you :) and really made me feel a lot better. thanks again :)
from zinan :
I guess it's because one of the people was so kind to me and seemed like a friend. It hurt a bit more than I expected. I read what you wrote yesterday and I see where you are going with that, I just feel like this is no longer the battle worth fighting. I can write in a journal in a physical book. What I write can't be read by those who think they have the right to, and there is no criticism, no censorship. Of all the people on Dland, you I am most proud of. You have always inspired the better person within. I have read every entry and kept you as a favourite since my days as Supermanfan.
from xpunchdrunk :
really u do? i thought i was the only one. is it like a sinking feeling kinda of?? wow
from psychefuck :
Actually, I was thinking my dragon and I could live in the wild. But you certainly got a point. By the way, I enjoyed reading your entries, specially the one about Rwanda. Not many people have the mind to write about such thing, in such way.
from canadiangrrl :
amen to that!!!!
from faithspoison :
Hi! Randomly stumbled across your diary and... you're right, it's absolutely horrible.
from rockboy :
totally agree with your sentiments. it's nice to know there still are some smart people around :O) take care
from whisper-ana :
thank you so much :) *hugggg*
from rockboy :
i did research on such people as the tutsi tribe, since i'm into anthropology. the sad thing is that currently, our country is Completely 100% capitialist based. and now if back in 1994 Rwanda has valuable resources (ahem like the middle east?) you can imagine that the US would of been there, try to to stop "ethnic cleansing" which is the new pc term for Genocide. what was funny about the superbowl was that some of the commmericals may have been just as riske` as the boob saw around the world. but the reason it hasn't been under fire was because they were spending 2.5 million for 30 seconds of airtime. so if we can find a way to make morality financially sucessful, our government won't lift a finger for other people. (i'm sorry this is so long, but i completely agree with you and understand where you are coming from)
from arwenalways :
I agree. I totally, 100% agree with that entry.
from rockboy :
i think the grea thing about getting older is that you can be go back to being 15 anyway - and i'm sure not bad as a salsa dancer than you think. :O) and when it comes to plays, i'm all about the great ending, especially if it means there was a steady begining. take care.
from nooneshoney :
I laughed so loudly over the Twenty Minutes entry that I woke my younger sister up in the next room. Thanks.
from msgaladriel :
Thanks for your note, I really liked the comments about Einstein. I hope you've been practicising your English sayings you really should try saying 'bloody' once or twice!
from himeros :
You're a good writer.
from himeros :
Thanks for the note and the compliment. The reason my diary is honest is because I really don't expect that others will be interested in reading. To tell you the truth I am not COMPLETELY forthcoming about all the events in my life. If I was, you'd REALLY hate me. ;)
from msgaladriel :
Thanks for your note - you cracked me up!
from msgaladriel :
Hi, I liked your entry about Canada and how you feel all British when you say 'nonetheless'. If you want sound really really English then you need say either bloody or bollocks (sorry it's a swear word) a lot. I'm sure Spike says 'bloody' in Buffy but then again, his accent's not the best one around. Giles' accent is way better because he is actually English. Hmm, I seem to have digressed a bit here but I'm sure you get the gist.
from luckbalady :
Thank you so much for your kind words. The happiness you seem to perpetuate now is one of the reasons I love reading your diary. It is good to hear from people who have been through it, and made it out not only alive and whole, but also happy. I keep hoping that if I hear it enough, I will eventually believe it. Thank you :)
from kleio :
Wow, Keryanna, I hope you never stop writing. You're last entry brought tears to my eyes. I had the exact same kind of friend in high school and I often think of my carefree, magical days as a young girl with dreams. You're right by saying once you get older those "talks" stop. My old best friend is now a nun in rhode island and we don't really talk anymore. Reminds me of the Frost poem "Birches" - "So was I once myself a swinger of birches. And so I dream of going back to be." All the best Keryanna....
from bjbear :
Thank you for that sweet note. I do think I'm rather 'special' of course that can be taken several different ways. LOL. I loved Jan 7th's entry. It cracked me up. I'm very happy with my Caffeine and Chocolate addiction but if I'm ever looking for something new I'll give the Scones a try. bj
from arwenalways :
Merry Christmas, Keryanna...wait, did I ever leave you a note? *puzzled* Maybe not...well I love your diary SO MUCH and have been reading it for a LONG time. Anyway, God bless!
from intheory27 :
Thanks for the note. :) It can't be all bad, you seem to be happy and have a grasp on correct grammar, so it's not a bad comparison, I don't think. And if absolutely nothing else, I do think that "slightly sweet, not overly dry, sip-on-all-night" wine and men both are the best. :) Happy Holidays!
from watty :
Happy holidays! Have a good trip. Best wishes always. =)
from msgaladriel :
Hi, thanks for your note! I'm glad you learnt some English phrases as well :) I laughed so hard when watching Buffy (series 7) when a 'British' slayer (worst accent ever, btw) said 'peckish' and they had to explain what it meant. Hmm, I've gone on a little bit too long here, anyway thanks for the note!
from im2evil4u :
The Great Snow Shovel Mystery. So strange :D
from bjbear :
Hi, First I want to offer my sympathies for your loss of your friend and of your parents. I've just gotten back to diaryland and I was catching up on my favorite diaries. I'm glad that you've been writing again. I hope you continue. Again, I really am sorry that such a sad thing happened. bj
from sls :
thankyou so much for the moral support. i have been having nyquil fantasies a lot lately but am managing to control hitting the 'bottle' very often. i considered it yesterday, indeed. last year i was in canada for thanksgiving and it was so nice, just another non-holiday day of the week. i was not alone in my thanksgiving rebuking. :)
from zinan :
I will do that. I am actually not far from Kingston myself. Everyone from the area knows about that, we all hoped while he was missing he would be found ok. It's a terrible thing for his family to go through.
from zinan :
Wow, I didn't think you would have heard about the officer cadet from RMC let alone have known him. My sister and my girlfriends cousins are all officer cadets at RMC and they didn't know him. I hope you are ok.
from girle :
I agree...thanks for the note. That's so true, love is a verb! I read some of your journal...a great read. I'm so honored that you stopped by. Feel free to visit again soon. Cheers.
from zinan :
Thanks, it's nice to have someone to tell you that it's ok to screw up, plus it came from someone real to me.
from flamingbird :
I too, married a man who will never write an eloquent letter, never blow my mind with metaphors or symbolism, but he buys me tampons when I need them, holds my hair back when I vomit and holds me when I need a safe place. You touched me today and I thankyou for reminding me of all the wonderful reasons and all the small ways that make up the biggest love of my life.
from imaginated :
I would like to buy the world a coke... maybe not the world, but just people I enjoy.. and maybe not coke but some coke flavored gum... but not the kind of coke that's white. unless it's vanilla coke. that stuff isn't too terrible. *happy random thoughts from dee*
from pixaholic :
Club crackers and Smoked Gouda Cheese. try it and thank me later.
from nofantasy :
I miss your writing; hope you're doing well.
from pixaholic :
just so you know, i think you rock. as in, rhymes with sock.
from mermaid24 :
Better late & bedraggled than never at all right? I'm back, updating my diary, and keeping up with my favorites. Sending happy vibes your way :)
from pixaholic :
plunge plunge. if it helps, my sink is stopped up too? lots of love, hon
from pixaholic :
scuse me. I'm missing a VERY important part of my daily reading here. WHERE DID YOU GO? hope you're doing alright. and that you didnt fall through a crack somewhere. I'll send out the search teams anyway, just in case. much love.
from cateldragon :
john cusack rules!!!
from nofantasy :
"I've always wanted to be NORMAL but lately I've had a strong suspicion that this is it." -J. Skinner I keep this greeting card (from Kate Harper Designs in Berkeley) on my desk. I rarely feel "normal" but that doesn't mean I feel "abnormal" either. I always enjoy your diary. Thanks.
from katlitter :
I just found the note you left in my diary. I don't know how old it is. That Dr.Suess quote would have made the perfect yearbook quote, if only I had gotten it sooner. The quote I used was Amelia Bedelia. Amelia Bedelia? Who ever heard of her being in yearbooks? Ah, well. Keep up the jives.
from buffyslays :
Thanks for your kind words Keryanna. You are right about telling his wife and I probably would if I didn't truly believe she didn't already know. She actually told me once that even though she bitches about, and at, her husband a lot he would have to do something really terrible for her to leave him. She used sleeping with her sister as an example! That's pretty extreme. I've just decided to stay way away. Maybe I'm wrong about not telling her but I know her and I believe she would either blow it off or blame me. I'm just trying to get out of here with as little drama as possible. Your whole entry on the end of Buffy...so right on! What you said about Spikes love for Buffy...it made me think so much about my own life and I wanted to thank you, again, for putting things into perspective for me.
from iceanjwel :
yeah, I locked it a little while ago. I thought I gave you the username and pw? user: sushifreak pw: wasabi Welcome to the uber cool members only club.
from spritopias :
Personally, my favorite cat lesson is to pee in boxes then bury it.
from iceanjwel :
I love your job too. :)
from specialpete :
the difference is, i'm not providing the goal. I'm only organizing the search team. Morality, irrationality, is the battlefield upon which uncounted millions have been slaughtered, not reason. When human fools claim understanding of what cannot be understood- this is the cause of suppression and war. Reason teaches us to abandon the supposition that we posses any knowledge about the irrational. I ask all of us to follow this teaching. And i say that as reason is our guide in this matter of wisdom, so is it the means to unite us all. Already, in this abandonment of knowledge we have found common ground- vast ignorance- naivety, not the dangerous ignorance that breads hate.
from specialpete :
it is all rather subjective...
from kb8 :
Quite related to your 24 May entry "Wish." I've lived alone for 25 years. Sometimes when I think I'll give someone a ring, I'll decide to read a book instead because I know the book won't disappoint me. And I like going to places by myself because I can stay or leave when I like. Unlike yourself, I have no desire to be normal because everyone seems to be sad in some sort of way. And this is my real abnormality, I'm happy. Love your journal.
from jelliejar :
you wrote me a note a really long time ago about relationships and how i might be chasing after things i know will fall apart because i'm too afraid of the other kind of rejection. i just wanted to say, yes, that probably is it - it's a theory i've toyed with a couple of times over the past few years. i like reading your journal, it makes me think. take care.
from iceanjwel :
Thank you.
from iceanjwel :
minus the hyphen
from iceanjwel :
user:sushi-freak pw:wasabi
from kidagain :
I really liked your last entry about finally seeing your parents as humans. It reminded me of when I was little, and I used to think God created people and just plopped them down onto the earth as is, no chance for them to change. He made old people, like my grandparents; middle-aged people, like my parents; and kids, like me. This is an image I think I carried until I started grade school. While it's not exactly the same thing, it was just the idea that my parents could never have been like me, could never have seen things the way I did... Anyhow, I just thought it was really beautifully written, very poignant, very nostalgiac, and very true.
from hedge- :
yeah, but see, i would ignore the spare set and grab the ones that her grandmother gave her. that's how angry i am.
from developments :
its been a while, however i was reminded of you and your wit when i noticed notes from you in a friends diary. hope everything is going well for you.
from k-lyn :
aaw hun im doin alright..i've decided to get help for cutting!!!
from k-lyn :
hey just reading your diary. r u doin ok? i miss you :-)
from canadiangrrl :
You did the best you could. The boy may think at the moment that no one cares but someday he'll remember the sincerity in your promise even when his mother made it impossible to keep and he'll know that someone cares. He'll turn out all right, kids are very resilient. Just keep it in your heart that you did everything you could for him when his mother didn't. It's not his fault, nor yours that it's turned out this way. You did all you could, now maybe his mother will learn and if he goes into foster care he will find someone that tries to make his life better as much as you did. Take care sweetie.
from onlydistance :
~What you say is quite true. I have been learning that over the past year. The hearts are close, and seem to grow closer day by day. I wouldn't change it for the world. -Thanks for your words, they were an encouragement on a quiet evening. I read some of your journal and wish you the best of luck with everything you undertake. Keep writing. ::.matt.::
from skipperdyke :
:::sending you a big mental hug::: Hang in there and try to remember that this is NOT your fault. If this mother didn't have a history of poor choices and irresponsibilty (and hadn't lied to you so that you felt positive about making her son that promise), you would have been able almost surely to secure some kind of assistance for them. Consequences really suck sometimes...
from stillalone :
hey. algebra DOES suck. *sigh* i guess i could look on the bright side- i won't have to take any math my senior year. that's good, right? heh. thanks a lot for the note! <3 kristy
from supermanfan :
Your entry today went a long way to fix the pain of todays events. Thank you so much.
from nooneshoney :
Your most recent message made my day! I have missed you, as well. I hope life continues to be a nonsensical cliche for you. Hugs!
from supermanfan :
We still miss you and worry. I can't add an entry either. Ughhh I just let my gold mebership run out cause I don't have any more money. Damnit. I can't afford a gold again especially not with the exchange rate. Well it was good to hear from you.
from hot-crumpets :
Damn diaryland - I missed you! :)
from k-lyn :
hey wanted to say have a good day
from abstersive :
thank you for the note, a while back. i've been gone. but, thank you.
from jendra :
You left a note on my diary and I came over here to read yours. I now have you on my favorites list. You have a really great diary
from girl-aflame :
Aw, I don't think you're a wimp. I think you're very strong. If you want whiney, just read an entry or two of my little blog *laughs*
from no-answers :
*laughs wildly* I know what you mean about jingles that shouldn't be catchy! I used to go around humming the tune from an advert for razors!
from dublingirl :
Yep, this area is full of mountains and the inevitable high altitude. The mountains are pretty of course, but not much else around here. Now if you actually enjoy constant nose-bleeds, heaps of snow and ice, and baked goods that just don't turn out right, then this is the place for you. Dave M. is playing in Denver in July btw....but where isn't he playing this summer!? :D Cheers, Ande
from daymare :
thanks for the note it made my day. you probably make more people happier than you realize.
from no-answers :
Hmm, what happens about me then? I don't like anything sweet so I don't eat ice cream! If you'd like to have a look at my new diary I've got it running properly at long last - it's at hot-crumpets.diaryland.com
from kleio :
I look forward to reading your entries daily, needless to say I was saddened by todays. Keryanna, you have more friends out here than you know of, including me. You will be in many prayers tonite. I was told today, "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it." I hope you find some comfort in that.
from canadiangrrl :
You're in my thoughts sweetie. Keep your chin up.
from supermanfan :
My thoughts are with you.
from watty :
I'm thinking of you and will pray for you. I can only hope that your strength will guide you through the rough waters.
from pixaholic :
Prayers to infinity. You are not alone. Please know that and believe it.
from girl-aflame :
You're in my prayers, dear keryanna.
from buffyslays :
Congrats on the job! It sounds perfect for you.
from girl-aflame :
Wow, congratulations on your new job!! You're going to do just great there!
from nebulaja :
You beautifully described the life of a day. Wow so I'm not the only one trying to unlock the secrets of the universe! niice
from summergrace :
thanks for the note! good to know i am not the only supernerd out there... :)
from abhorgod :
i like when i use parenthesis and repeat what i said right before them. it makes me feel like a skilled and crafty writer. im so hung over, i have the weirdest dreams when i drink and smoke - like last night - i had a dream i was William Burroughs editor and he wrote a 745 page screen play in which the point of view from a schitzophrenic changed 3 times over the course of the movie. i read all 745 pages and then we fucked. im hetero-fucking-sexual, but whatever - these things happen.
from abhorgod :
You know whats funny, i tried to imagine you naked with that sign on you and i thought about the movie, die hard 3 or whatever. Bruce Willis naked in harlem with a sign saying (instead of, i hate niggers) a sign saying "Im superficial and fake, etc" I think that would have made the movie much cooler and more politically correct than the racist one. How old are you? And dont you use AIM or AOL, IM me instead of this note business. screen name is AiDpatient - no aids, its a long story.
from abhorgod :
Maybe I'm weird, but for some reason, your apologetic nature makes me want to sleep with you. Are you good looking? Im superficial and fake - hook it up.
from laudien :
I appreciate the note you left me. It was really well-written...lifted my spirits up. :) Funny to look at relationships as buffalo wings and potato skins, hehe, but I see exactly what you mean. Take care! xoxo
from fulfilled :
Yeah, the boned strapless bra was pretty painful. My ribs are just finally starting to forgive me... but I'm quite enjoying your writing. I'll have to keep checking it out over the next little while. :o)
from abhorgod :
I think that was the worst note ive ever gotten, for a number of reasons. mainly the misenterpretation of my writing. But i dont feel like writing you a non-sucky note back because im selfish and agnsty, you pigeon holed me correctly and im just bitter about it.
from buffyslays :
The thing is, I seem to have "accidentally" gotten an extra one and somehow it says "For Keryanna" on it. I really DO NOT KNOW how that happened. If you just don't feel comfortable "it" says "it" understands and will wait until you do. Hey, it's out of my hands, I only say what "it" tells me to.
from unwittingly :
It's my worst nightmare.
from buffyslays :
Don't envy me my tiny Buffy lunchbox. Because of your last entry, because I don't know what to say to calm your worries and because I want to contribute to one of your smiles, I want to send you a gift. From one Diarylander to another, from one good soul to another, from someone who has learned much and taken lessons from your writing, I'd like to send thanks and warm thoughts enclosed in a Buffy/Spike "Something Blue" mini lunchbox filled with black on the outside, red on the inside, stake shaped gum. It's ready and waiting for its new home. :)
from supermanfan :
Here is how to link my friend. type the following in your entry without the outside quotes "<a href="http://thesitelink.com">Type somthing to indicate to click here</a> And that is how you link. Ever need some help with code just ask. I'm always here to help.
from guavagrrrl :
that's perfectly alright, just go ahead. launch into a spiel. talk to me about your feelings on peanut butter. i'll listen.
from pixaholic :
so i'm definitely thinking we have the same approach to these sorts of things. thank you for the note about emma, by the way. i agree she's got a bit of a touch of genius in her :)
from mais-oui :
p.s. you have excellent taste in literature. and the sqaure root to your writing is honesty. i like that. welcome to my links.
from mais-oui :
Hah! Dave McCaffrey...? i.m very appreciative for daves place in my past. there are no worries. i don.t believe in them. but you.re a sweet girl, a real sweet girl.
from girl-aflame :
Don't you feel badly for an instant; there is poetry in more than just traditional line break verse. There is beauty in what you write. You can believe me because I am a poet, and, while not a very good one, we are all equipped with a beauty radar - the bells and whistles in my head go off nearly every time I stop by here.
from jpoet112 :
late autumn always sets it off. i coast through springs and summers. early fall headlong into the leaves, rocking heaving like death and you feel it coming on like some storm yet at sea. novembers, decembers it gets low. but then it all dies down, and theres no more urge to fight the fall kill. slumber. sleeping seasons. fallow. until mid-february. when the wanting resurfaces. this violent wanting for spring. and its hard to understand how hope can tear and bleed like it does. i think after this phase, i'm heading south. a softer second chapter perhaps. who am i kidding. this is just the prologue.
from skipperdyke :
Your entry today encouraged me...sometimes the journey to chapter one seems so so long...but something about the way you put it...made me a bit more hopeful.
from summerfried :
Thanks for the note. Feels good to know that I am not the only one who hungers for something different. -G
from copygirl :
so. very. true.
from dolceliza :
Thanks for your note, Keryanna. Just wondering, how did you hear about me?
from smushy :
Thanks for your note.. and wow.. what a great writter you are..your entry today just grabbed me...
from violetwoman :
Great entry on your adult fears, and the loss of childhood fearlessness.
from fuckmyname :
haha. thongs. motherinlaw. flannel. too much fun. or too much creepiness. either one. :)
from supermanfan :
I love when my gf wears her flannels. She looks very nice in them. I also hate thongs. Hope you had a great weekend
from nofantasy :
Maybe your cat is in heat?
from id-wraith :
Thoughts...they work so strangely, but sometimes they even help a little.
from sunnflower :
Good self-talk. You reminded me of a few things to keep in mind when times get tough. Thanks!
from carianne :
You noted me, so I'm noting you! You have a lovely diary, and I really like the way you write. Very entertaining! (Oh...and the baby in a matchbox really wasn't as horrible as it sounds!)
from enduser :
It does look a lot cooler I agree. But when you learn the skill it is only a hope, skip and a jump away from pointing and grunting when you want to communicate.
from sls :
yes. canada is more exotic than we americans generally assume. i was living on the west coast on vancouver island, and had some mild culture shock. things like no mail delivery on saturdays, spelling color with an "ou", the mellower dispositions of many folks, the fact that cheese is extremely expensive and only available in huge huge portions... on a positive note the provincial parks are so wonderfully mantained and the people are very enviro-conscious. also, they seem less superficial (but this is of course a huge ignorant generalization...). right now i'm back in the states for a while, but i miss canada. it's a very special place--not just the "less important sibling of the USA." i'd love to hear more about your situation. email me! sirilakshmi@hotmail.com
from supermanfan :
Yeah I have had cats all my life, they never make any sense. My last cat would only drink water that was trickling from the bath tub taps, and would only eat the food if he saw you put the food in the bowl. Basically the best way to make them stop meowing, pet them. and let them go when they say so
from buffyslays :
Thank you for sharing the story of you and Joanna. That you were both able to give each other so much, at an age where most are to busy thinking about themselves and what they are going to do, is a truly wonderful thing. So, chalk up one more person that you have made a positive impact on because I am truly grateful knowing you are out there. And thank you Joanna, for helping Keryanna be who she is and for being yourself.
from buffyslays :
The entry you were talking about was either the I’m-a-big-ol’-ring-ho entry or the music survey where I used the Queen lyrics. No matter, I’m just happy that I made you laugh. :) I TOTALLY don’t want Spike to leave town! Unlike the Angel/Cordelia thing, Buffy and Spike have some serious chemistry and I would very, very much like to see them get together seriously......finally! Leaving has always been my answer (something I’m trying to change) so I could totally identify with Spike wanting to leave. I guess it was good that Buffy said she wasn’t ready for him to leave, I just hate to see him have false hope and that was how I read that comment. I think she loves Spike but seriously, she just a big emotional mess. Who wouldn’t be after the last few years of events? A new sister, mother dying, her dying, Giles leaving, etc., etc. Like you said though, she needs to give it up or let the man go....so he can come live in my basement chained to a cot. Yeah baby!! ;)
from prophecyboy :
i knew it had something to do with psych 101, i did take it like 3 times! haha. (never finishing it each time of course, otherwise i'd probably wouldn't have taken it more than once if i had followed through!)
from prophecyboy :
i think it might be the word "salivating." corona's make me salivate, and then the word "salivate" (or form of) might have triggered you to salivate, thus connecting you to the word "corona" creating the imagery of salavation equaling corona. i have just salivated eight, no, nine times just now! hehe. j.k
from girl-aflame :
thanks for your note; you were the only one that left one! sorry it took a bit for me to get over here. tried last night but the server was wonky. thanks was all i came to say but i'll say also that i really love reading your diary. it is so unique, for lack of a loftier adjective.
from iceanjwel :
Dooooode! You used wonky! I use wonky, only I don't use it right...I just use it because it's fun to say. Yep. Fish(es? It's one of those words when you aren't sure of when to pluralize...like sheep) are cool.
from buffyslays :
Thanks for the note you left me on compassion...last week. I'm so slow...ugh. I've realized that no matter how much I get hurt and no matter how much I allow someone to walk all over me and take advantage, my compassion never wanes. It's always there. It's not something I can just be rid of, as much as I would like to sometimes. Most of my trash talk about the person that hurt me is just a front for the pain. It’s my defense mechanism and it’s usually pretty shaky and thin but it’s all I have. In the same vein, ever since you posted about your tests, you have been in my thoughts. So, please post on how you are doing. Positive energy has been sent your way. :) On a totally different note, who do you think is going to die on Angel? I think it’s going to be either Gunn or Fred. And Willow made me bawl last week...I’m such a wuss. Oh, and one last thing (I promise), which of my entries was so funny? If I’m being funny I need to know about it so I can show other people...heh ;)
from shoejunkie :
So, you think Deleware is more armpitty than Utah, do you? Hmm...maybe we should compare notes.
from nooneshoney :
Thank you for the analysis. It wasn't actually the case, but I'll keep it in mind from now on.
from scarylady :
Hey there! Thanx a bunch. I had my very first "snow test" today for my car. Did a good job. How are you doing? what do you think of Buffy? Wasn't giles funny? And Angel?! Somebody from Angel is going to die next week. Scary. I can't wait til next week. Do you mind it when I address you in my diary? It's my way of keeping in touch with friends without having to leave notes. (I like them thought...:>) You have a good day and email me, note me, or Im me anytime. Alice
from k-lyn :
boo! hey i wanted to say hi and have a WONDERFUL day
from fae-queen :
Oh, but a bowl of marshmallows submerged in milk does sound at least entertaining, if not healthy. I mean, you could play some sort of bizarre weeble ritual, trying to get them to sink and finally giving in to their sugary goodness. :)
from thefluffykat :
LOL... Love the sarcasm in the snowstorm entry. =) Thanks for the two notes you left me! I'm glad that someone reads my diary.
from nbdysfool :
hey girl! thanx for leaving me a note, it made me feel not so lonely for a whole 5 seconds...lol, it's the thought that counts right? I really like your diary and I see you're a Buffy lover like me!! Go you!!
from developments :
i just gave my cat peanut butter. i was feeling down and it made me laugh. which is always nice when you're feeling down. thanks for the tip.
from girl-aflame :
Ah I came to your notes to ask if I were the only one whose toes curl, but from your reader responses, apparently its freaky when they DON'T Curl. hee hee.
from pixaholic :
hey, MY TOES CURL, DAMMIT.
from supermanfan :
My toes curl, like a monkey's. I can pick stuff uo with my toes and grip stuff. Hah. And my toes are hairy too. Uh oh getting away from how this started, better stop now.
from girl-aflame :
Thanks very much for the note. You're lucky to have gotten such experiences - too bad not everyone can, or is willing to, discover the same.
from mattferrara :
thanks for signing my guestbook. I popped over to your diary. good stuff. Ever read Campbell's "Hero With 1000 Faces?" Excellent stuff. I just read an introduction he wrote to my collection of Grimm's Fairy Tales...
from buffyslays :
And to think, next week will be even better with an all new Buffy and all new Angel! Your 1/29 entry was thought provoking. I’m overly sensitive to others. For that reason I don’t watch the news because it can literally bring me to tears and keep me awake at night. I carry the stories of others around with me far too long. When Susan Smith drowned her children I still remember how angry I was at her and how sorrowful I was for those children and their father for months. I always believed being extremely compassionate was a good thing and now, I’m not so sure. I spent 10 years trying to “save” someone from his addictions only to be left in the end for someone that would endorse and join in with the destructive behavior. That experience has sapped my compassion in many ways. That was my “at home” war and I lost it so I feel even more like a tiny speck when it comes to the big world and it’s horrors and my ability to do anything about them. I honestly have no idea where I am going with this so.....until next time. ;)
from girlypop :
You are a fellow feta-hater?! I know other people too, maybe we should start a ring ;)
from buffyslays :
Did you see that? First no Angelus and then...boom...we got Angelus!! And here I go with the ever dorky....WHOO-HOO! Can't wait til next week, then again I said that about this week and got psyched out. Joss is laughing his ass off right now...heh. I wanted to ask if I can add you to my favorite reads. So can I, please? Take care and tune in next week. ;)
from pixaholic :
yet another bumper sticker quote- what you said at the end of that last entry- "We need to feel the pain in order to be motivated to stop it. Otherwise, we can simply walk away." How true that is. i'm the same way. thank you.
from developments :
thank you for your note. it made me smile. and i really enjoy your diary. contact me more. i think we would get along well.
from nooneshoney :
Thank you.
from angryquail :
What insightful writing! Good writing is like a breath of fresh air. You're going on my favorites list.
from whisper-ana :
oh shoots, i thought it supported html i am such a dork! sorry about that!
from whisper-ana :
<p>n <br> OthI <br> n </p> <p> g can </p><p> s <br> urPas <br> s </p><p> the m </p><p> y <br> SteR <br> y </p><p> of </p> <p> s <br> tilLnes <br> s <br> e.e. cummings thanks for signing my guestbook! since you like cummings here's my thank you to you. oops , i mean above is my thank you to you :P
from stigmatizedx :
aw thanks. but, i dont like putting up unfinished things. its gotta be just right before i put it up. i'm a perfectionist. heh. bad habit. i know. oh well. thanks.
from abstersive :
i don't really know how you found my journal, but thanks for the kind words. there used to be more, but there's not, now. my e-mail is in my profile, feel free to drop me a line.
from fae-queen :
Stumbled across your diary and found it very amusing. You've got the same sort of sense of humor as all my friends. Vey spiffy. Thanks for the good read!
from laylagoddess :
Everyone should love blue playdoh. :) However, I am thinking that it is a bit ooky that I have also arranged my glasses by hieght, and killed my cactus as well as every other plant I have ever owned. I can relate to the ballroom dancing, if not the marathon, or living in Bali. Have a good one ~
from supermanfan :
You could always opt to let him tell her under the threat that you will expose him and then follow through if he doesn't. Your last part is pretty funny. Thanks
from loveaffair :
Thanks. Seriously thanks for your comments - and you are so right on that it brought tears to my eyes. I think in my heart I know I have to leave but it is just such a big thing that I don't even know where to start....but I know that it's what is fair to everyone especially him. He doesn't deserve to be in a relationship where he isn't liked anymore. And he needs to be given the chance while still having many years left to find someone who will appreciate him....Thanks again.
from pixaholic :
I respect you for your decision. Honestly. And the refrigerator thing is just fucking hilarious
from brennass :
haha i agree baklava is way better...mmmm i wish i had pastry on my head right now. balaclava is those black ski masks you wear when your going to rob a bank.
from picassomoon :
love your diary, i feel the same way about humanity. If it were you on the bad end of a cheating situation you would want to know right??? I mean this ass is exposing someone to germs with possibly something that cannot be washed off attached. I think that its your responsibility to make it known. Thats just my opinion, but I think its right for once.
from perfuct-10 :
Wow... thanks. I really can't think of anything to say in reply to that! How is it that some people just know exactly what to say? It'll always amaze me. Have a lovely afternoon *
from sinnamon :
I am with you on the maiming cell phone users. I've got the hammer if you've got the time ;)
from scarylady :
Thanx for the note. Angel made mme happy. It has been a long time when an episode had everyone around here talking for two days. Soory to hear about your crisis of Faith. Just hang in there this crisis will pass as with all others in life. I believe in God and that he is there for yus and though I have faltered in my trust/faith in him at times, I find it again. You will too. I will say a prayer for you. God Bless, Alice
from buffyslays :
Thanks for the note! Always happy to meet other BtVS lovers cause we are damn fine people. And then there's John Cusack..oh yeah!! I want him to stand outside my window with a boom box blaring "In Your Eyes." Couldn't beat that with a wooden stake! ;)
from nofantasy :
Oh, honey, I love you! I remember an afternoon when I was at a department store and our cashier seemed to be in a pretty rotten mood. I thought she had the most *gorgeous* skin and let her know. My sister thought I was a little nuts but I thought it was important that she know. My other sister was recently chastised at her job for complimenting other female co-wokers. What is this world coming to when it's unacceptable to point out something *positive* about another person? On a somewhat unrelated note, I'm a libertarian and have a hard time convincing people that I am because they stand for personal responsibilty, non-aggression and (believe it or not) community-based decision making--things I think most people have overlooked in our modern society.
from quezacotl :
Hello! Sorry to hear about your crisis of faith. My only advice for that is to be as egotistical as possible. Make yourself the center of the universe. All the little problems and quirks of humanity then revolve around you, and you can deal with them as you please. Of course, to continue the astrology metaphor, the problem with this is while some people turn into noourishing life-giving stars as the center of the universe, most turn into emotional black holes, and some go super-nova. I suppose the real purpose though is this, don't let others actions get you down. I guess. I forgot where I was going with this.
from soi-disant :
thank you, i think? haha...i like yours...very articulate and well-written. very clear. xo ~ rebecca.
from supermanfan :
Weel you pointed out that for the darkness you need light theory, and balance etc. I think the problem is the good deeds go unnoticed. People notice things that go wrong and when things go right it's just the normal way of things. BTW not all men cheat and I despise the whole idea, I am an extremely faithful male. I know you were generalizing so it's cool. But the next person that say's that to you, tell them they are wrong. Women are just as capable of cheating. Have a great day!
from skipperdyke :
If Jake was cheating on you, would you want to know? I think I would want to know...especially in these times of diseases and such, you know. Good luck with this...I've made both decisions before..neither of them easy.
from kleio :
You're a wonderful and poignant writer. You made me think and you made me laugh. Thank you.
from supermanfan :
not just gravy on our fries, we also put cheese curd and gravy together on our fries! It's yummy
from supermanfan :
Hey! Cheezewiz on celery is awesome. It's traditional at our family parties it goes on the pickle plate. The girl will resent being told, it's human nature, and it happens 99% of the time. The only way to do anything is through him. Talk to him if you can.
from jackviolent :
i was actually referring to me being the boy who's diary she was reading. so no i didn't lose my virginity over winter break.
from perfuct-10 :
Bah, narcissistic smarcissistic. I think it's always nice to find someone that you can relate to, or someone that can make you feel not-so-alone (and possibly not-so-crazy ;o) ). I've only had time to read the last few of your entries tonight, but I know that I'll definately be back for more when I have a bit more time. You've got a great diary, and a fabulous talent and flair for writing to match! :o) Have a lovely evening, morning, day, whatever it may be.
from sixfortunes :
ha ha, very funny...http://creative.gettyimages.com/source/search/resultsmain.asp?txtSearch=b%26w+girl&source=quickSearch&brand=tsi&UQR=ftdxwv why'd you post it for money on the 'net?
from asrael :
Wow I really like your diary! I superglued my fingers together trying to fix glasses once as well, However, (that's not a good however) I broke one of my fingers so it would go numb and I cut the two fingers with a knife so they'd seperate. So rather than ask for help, I ended up with a bloody broken finger. And you think you're an idiot? =)
from supermanfan :
I'm sorry to hear about you problem. I hope you get the help you need with that. The American system needs compassion and a little good ole Canadian influence. Good luck.
from scarylady :
Hi, Thank you for the note. I always love to hear from fellow Buffy fans. Me, I can't wait until Fatih shows up later in the season. I would like to add you to my favorites, if it is okay with you. Most of my favs are Buffy lovers. So come join the family...:>) I love your idea about the hopeful monsters. I write short stories (mostly horror)Sounds like a good story. Do you watch Angel too? See you later, Alice
from iceanjwel :
I love #4 in your entry. That line about not being loved- that was powerful.
from supermanfan :
Your last entry is amazing. I will read more of your diary when I have time but I am adding you as a favourite. Your uncle sounds like the kind of man every man should make it his goal to be like. If you take anything from his death, take the good things, and make them your own. I'd say you have already. You have a beautiful soul. And trust your bf's family. Many other people have the capacity to love the way your uncle did, you just have to let them get close, even when it's hard, and when you feel like it's breaking your heart. Sometimes thats how I feel when my gf's parents show me how much they love me, it's so much like the feeling of a broken heart but I don't know why. Thanks for such a beautiful entry. C.J.
from amberfalls :
Hope By Emily Dickenson Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soule, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That could abash the little bird That kept so many warm. I've heard it in the chillest land, And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a crumb of me.
from thebrenda :
i'm in canada. most people make fun of curling. .. and i've never encountered ar eal moose, aside from at the zoo. REALLY far up north is where you should be worried. .. we do have a massif amount of snow right now though.
from quezacotl :
You know, after reading your note, I did some research, and have discovered that there is a long and honorable history behind drunkenly staggering around hallways half naked. The greeks started it way back when, although back then, they didn't have hallways, but rather columnated walkways. The Romans picked up this tradition, often having someone stagger drunkenly half naked out into the middle of the Colisseum, where he or she was then fed to lions, tigers or whatever large animals they had at the time, while not having a clue what was going on much to the amusement of the crowds. It carried over into later European culture, minus the large hungry felines, but unfortunately the Puritans kept it from crossing over the Atlantic for centuries. Luckily though throughout the twentieth century, drunken stumbling made a HUGE comeback, and I have joined the ranks of many great people, such as Kennedy, Sinatra, and Kelsey Grammer. Unfortunately, within my small circle of friends, I was the one who set the precedent, and therefore I doubt I will be able to live it down. Luckily though, I know eventually, someday somehow, they will do something just as stupid, if not worse. Thanks for dropping a line.
from asking2much :
lol, but it was actually a line from the movie that i saw the other night. heehee
from canadiangrrl :
hi, thanks for your note, i really appreciate what you said and i know you are right, we did talk about it and other things which almost turned out really bad but not because of the topic, as for your 'big mouth' i quite enjoy reading what you have to say, both in your diary and your notes(longer the better), and just thought i would let you know, because of what you kept saying about it i have beside me "Ishmael" though I haven't started it yet, take care, and thanks for reading me - Kim
from k-lyn :
htankyou for yournote...it made my day.
from pixaholic :
applause, applause, and fucking MORE applause on the "twenty" entry. seriously.
from you-are-here :
Thanks for the note, I really appreciate it. I like your diary...I don't know how someone could think of you as stupid, you seem a hell of a lot more intelligent than most people I know.
from subtractfive :
i think my titles are much more interesting than the entry itself anyhow. it's so much easier to explain yourself in such few great and simple words than writing a paragraph about it. vague, and fun.
from pezdispenser :
hey, i got here through pixaholic. by the way, you rock! first off, pumpkin pie IS addicting. secondly, was it the Graceland album? because, i must tell you, i knowwwwww. have a wonderful day!
from lizardspace :
I was just taking a stroll down the long and winding road explaining your occasional bouts of inarticulateness, and it could have been written by me. Both style and content. Not that I'm explaining myself well... Anyway, you're makin' the faves list.
from pixaholic :
lol... you crack me up
from pixaholic :
YAy YOU'RE BACK! if the layout thing is really raping you the way you say it is, let me know- i mean, i figured out how to change MINE and all. :)
from no-answers :
I'm so upset you deleted all your entries :( please keep in touch? -x-
from pixaholic :
WHERE DID YOU GO? I MISS YOUR WISDOM!
from endemic :
I apologize for offending you in whatever way that I have. No insult or anything of the sort was meant.
from marn :
Your entry about your cat cracked me up. My sister had a cat just like yours. When she got a kitten in the hope that it would inspire Toby to exercise, the situation only got worse because Toby decided to eat all the kitten's food as well as his own. My sister would yell at him when she'd hear the tell-tale rustle of his nose in the kitten's crumbles, so Toby actually learned to slip them in his mouth and suck them so he'd be silent! The first time she saw him do that, my sister almost peed herself from laughing.
from pixaholic :
another "ultimately profound quote" for bumper stickers: Discourage inbreeding- Ban country music. (i dont like that stuff...)
from pixaholic :
WHERE DID YOU DISAPPEAR TO?
from pixaholic :
You're insane. Insanely hysterical. or insanely thoughtful. whichever fits the mood of the day.
from miastarr :
Don't worry, I have my imbecilic (is that a word?) moments myself... Far too often for my liking! I ought to check my notes more often, but I *DO* love trance, I could seriously cry when I hear a track like BT's Mercury and Solace, trance is extremly emotional music for me :/
from quietthought :
Thanks for the insightful note. It's a pity you couldn't see the entry in question, this whole thing started over her disliking The Shining. no accounting for taste eh? Thanks for your comment though. So you know, Andrew still hasn't replied to my emails... free speech eh? Faaaaaantastic :)
from splorch :
Ah, but you see, I'm a former West Chester Golden Ram; I need to relive the memory of my glory days. Or something.
from splorch :
You are absolutely warped. I enjoy that in a person. I think you just made the favorites list. Thank you infinity plus one. Ha.
from splorch :
Thanks for your note! Made my day; I love knowing people are enjoying the oddness. And the splorchiness.
from firefly2201 :
Thank you for your note and keep writing. :)
from honeywine :
That's so sad about Victor... I guess it's kind of bizarre that's it's almost a built-in mechanism for humans to wonder why they are humans... but interesting to study nonehteless.
from miastarr :
Hi! Thanks for complimenting my tastes in music - they are eclectic to say the least! Aside from enjoying the Gypsy Kings' music, I also adore Almodovar's movies. You know, you have great taste in film ;)
from honeywine :
RYN: Actually, Princess Bride *is* one of my favourite movies too, but I couldn't fit it into the list :P I looked at your diary, I relaly like it. The affection you have for your husband really comes through in your writing - it's very honest, simple writing, and I like that. It's an enviable way to write. :)
from theomega :
thank you very much for the post in my diary. yes, the little prince is the book by which i live my life. its tenets on human relationships, love, and its eternally relevant critique of the absurdity of the adult world from the clarity of a child's perspective keep me going!
from sonjafrau :
i saw that you had written in one of my best friend's diary (evanescing.) anyway, i clicked the link to your diary and read some of it. stunning. that is all i can say. you write like someone would talk...but it makes sense. i was just wondering who you were and where you were from. if you are from southwest ohio or the columbus area or something, i would like to try to chat. or you could just write me back...start small, ya know. anyway, you can visit my diary at sonjafrau or you can write me at waltonaf@muohio.edu. anyway...have a great day and keep writing.

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