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Where is clarity25? Recent vacation blog - http://twoshotsoftequila.blogspot.com/ "Eric's" Photobucket account - http://s795.photobucket.com/home/sketchbookshark/index

from captainron :

Thinking of you today

from captainron :

Let us know you're OK, OK? I figure you and yours were smart enough to get to high ground so I'm only worried a little. Still... Email OK?

from captainron :

Sigh...

from captainron :

Funny, just wrote an entry on that... I miss it and I miss you.

from captainron :

Still here...

from captainron :

Hope you are Ok, still here, still keeping you in mind... Merry Christmas, me

from sank0fa :

hello love. hope everything is ok with you. do let us know how you are? been missing ya around these parts.

from captainron :

Had to move... [email protected] Hope you're doing well....

from sank0fa :

that story hurt my heart. so sweet. sounds like a scene out of a movie. i'm glad you have memories like that. you deserve them.

from captainron :

Just here to say Hi :::waves:::

from incog-notion :

just so you know, i want her dead.

from captainron :

Just a note to let you know I popped in.

from captainron :

Thanks for popping in... You know you are always welcome. You wold have been welcome for that beer too. I would have even paid. :-)

from manda-d :

You're not so bad yourself :-)

from sank0fa :

AMEN. a thousand times amen.

from incog-notion :

let's take a time out. spa weekend. everyone and everything on hold. too bad it's not at all feasible.

from sank0fa :

i know what you mean about the tears. i've found, for me, when it's not out of sadness or happiness, it tends to be out of frustration. you've gotta purge somehow....and sometimes you don't even realize that you were holding so much in until it comes out in the form of tears. it's weird. i know.

from sank0fa :

i'm really happy for you. i think that will be good for you, too. and can i say i was surprised (pleasantly) by your cursing?? haha...it's like being in elementary school and hearing your teacher say "shit" -- it's awkward and kind of funny. hahaha. the usually nice girl finally getting mad. it's cute. okay i'll stop cause does that even make sense? anyway. happy valentine's day, my love.

from captainron :

Thanks :-)

from manda-d :

Woot! I'm cheering over here! F**k that indeed!

from captainron :

Coincidence? Maybe, but better safe than sorry...

from sank0fa :

i think i missed the coincidence....?? or i have a bad memory. my opinion is that she's a whore and if i ever see her, i will kill her.

from incog-notion :

hmm. she's a skank. so everything she does reeks of skank.

from captainron :

Stop now while you can OK? Please? You've had enough troubles in the last year that you really don't need to add something you know is bad for you. I'd sort of like to see you hang around for a long time you know?

from sank0fa :

kristen armstrong wrote a really good piece in the most recent O magazine (guilty pleasure i indulge in once in a while...don't tell! haha). actually just read it last night before bed. (the whole mag is a good read this month..i recommend it). anyway....whenever i read stuff like that, i think of you and linda. and kind of say a mini-prayer in my head for each of you.

from sank0fa :

i just re-read my notes and realized that YOU, too, said "choose to be happy" -- which makes me sound somewhat foolish in repeating your own words to you!! (and weird that both you and linda said the same thing without knowing the other person did so) so, basically....ignore my last note except for the part that says "i love you." :-)

from sank0fa :

just felt like saying i love you and thank you for your last comment. i hope your year is off to a good start. linda once said the one lesson she learned last year is "choose to be happy," so that's something i'm trying to learn/implement. it really is good advice, but ya know...i'm very much an emotional masochist. at any rate, i hope you're choosing to be happy, too.

from captainron :

You write and I'll read it. That's how it works you know...

from incog-notion :

i'd read it.

from captainron :

I hoe not. I just figured I started Jan 2, but apparently because I'm salary, they just included the 1st. I'll take it, the old piggy bank is pretty low right now and vacation is approaching rapidly....

from captainron :

Sometimes the awful ones just seem happyier because they are better at putting on fronts. That and the fact that they care less about the consequences of the things they cause... Reall happiness is having people who love you. You've got that. Hang in there. me

from incog-notion :

yes.

from sank0fa :

let me know when God writes back. i'd like to know the answer to that, as well.

from sank0fa :

happy new year, my love. this will be a good year for us both because we deserve it. ....ps....it's the artist formerly known as kimberline. reborn for the new year. :-) cheers.

from incog-notion :

thank you for that. i've been talking about the ex that trampled on my heart over a year ago and my friends... can't understand why i'm not over it already. why i don't shut up about him already. thank you for that. merry christmas. love you.

from captainron :

I wish you sounded happier... Sigh...

from incog-notion :

hi hi. i couldn't think of a name for kimberline. anyway. chris has been good about things but you're right, that's the very very lease he owes you so don't worry so much about him... i worry about you.

from kimberline :

love you. still keeping up with you, but often just little stops in the middle of working and pretending to work. you might lose your NYC escape soon, which sucks, but what's good is that i'll be in houston for 2 months which means closer proximity if you ever send out the bat-call. i'll update soon -- quit my job and moving back to texas, among other thoughts swirling around that i must write about. been trying to think of a new name to start over...fresh new d-land. that would be nice. any ideas? anyways....keep that head up.

from captainron :

I'm pretty sure that my presence in Lauratown would not be appreciated by at least one member of the family...

from captainron :

Drop it off at the house and I'll take care of it.

from captainron :

Of course they love you, who wouldn't?

from captainron :

Breathing is good... Banana bread is better :-)

from kimberline :

for some reason, i haven't been able to leave you a message on your g-book. so, sorry for being MIA. i would try to message and then give up when it wouldn't work. ANYWAYS... forgiveness is hard. you're a better person than i. i still struggle with that. a lot, actually. i'm just surprised with who i choose to forgive and who i just cannot. it's weird how i choose. or how anybody does, really. at any rate...love you. i'm glad you're still chugging along.

from captainron :

Good Morning Laura :-)

from captainron :

Sorry I have no clue... All you can do is just keep moving... BTW I've never been called Maurice or spoke of the pompitous of love...

from captainron :

Can't be the looks, I have no idea what you look like.

from captainron :

Don't ever appologize for being you. Why do you think we love you?

from captainron :

Fake it? You shouldn't have to... Thanks for the note. I know you'll be around judt like you know I'll be around. It's what friends do...

from captainron :

if you drop a plate on the floor and it breaks, you can do the best job in the world of gluing it back together, but every time you see it, you'll always remember it was broken and you'll always be able to see the cracks.

from captainron :

We can't have Laura having a life of her own now can we? She just might decide that she doesn't actaully need me right?

from captainron :

Sorry about your friend Laura. Way too often life just isn't fair.

from reynedecoupe :

Sympathies to you:( Cancer is such a cruel beast.

from captainron :

{{{hugs}}}}

from incog-notion :

tag. but you don't have to play. it's just something silly.

from captainron :

While I'm sure we'd get along great, I don't think Chris would be happy with my opinions on him so I think it's best of I do my sailing up here, but thanks for the thoughts...

from kimberline :

laura, my love, if you get any more trouble from that bitch i'll have you know that i am trained in the ways of whore-ass-kicking. just give me the word...i go home to houston every once in a while! i'm proud of you for taking control of the situation by calling her and by calling chris out, but of course i also worry about you. he can't keep doing this and you can't keep finding out about birthday cards, etc. i truly do hope that was the last of it. love you!

from kimberline :

user: state i used to live in pw: abbreviation for city i currently live in

from kimberline :

just wanted to let you know i'm thinking of you. hope you're hangin' in there. take care of yourself, k?

from incog-notion :

that is hard to get over... the after-saddness of his. whatever you decide to do (live with/try to get over it or not live with or try to get over it) you will be okay and i am always here, thinking of and praying for.

from incog-notion :

i HATE THAT FUCKING SKANK. seriously, what the fuck is wrong with her? she prides herself in being a homewrecker?

from captainron :

Laura, are you OK?

from captainron :

I'm not going to comment other than to say I was here....

from incog-notion :

to answer your question... yes. though it will be the last thing you want to do. i got through it because of your kind words .. i wish i could mirror back your wisdom.

from incog-notion :

i hate her. i hate that he doesnt see that emotional intimacy might as well be cheating. ugg. it never gets easy i see. i'm sorry :( i'm keeping you in my htoughts.

from sweet-cynic :

true :) i do see you as a great mom and i subconsciously seek approval from great moms. so im glad you like michael. also, I HOPE YOU GET LAID. omg. someone should?

from sweet-cynic :

heh. come to jesus talk.

from katress :

Hey, thanks for the birthday wishes! :)

from coffeegrind :

I'd love to take a look at your diary! You can e-mail me the password (if you're willing) to: [email protected]

from sweet-cynic :

there's something pleasantly quirky about candle shopping.

from reynedecoupe :

Hi there! I'd love to read, so if this is in the cards, my email is [email protected]. Cheers!

from nascarwidow :

You have to believe in yourself! Do not fall into the "down on me" rut. Take my word for it, you are better than that and need to find every little thing that can remind you of that! {{{{{l}}}}}

from captainron :

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

from sweet-cynic :

Sparky.. sad... i wonder where he is now.

from sweet-cynic :

R sounds like a witch. next time (hopefully there won't be a next time), if you're willing to drive 9 hours, come to my place!

from captainron :

Be safe, OK? Your stuff is replaceable. You are not.

from sweet-cynic :

a cocktail party!

from captainron :

I think I'd like to see what that face looks like sometime. You should post a picture...

from sweet-cynic :

awww

from captainron :

Thanks and I do know what you mean. I consider you a friend too. :-)

from sweet-cynic :

her face name is peggy. haha :)

from sweet-cynic :

I finally caught up! :) okay.. let's see if I can remember all my thoughts - Elle driving like grandma! That's GREAT. cautious driving newbies are what the city needs. - I saw that footage about the husband holding on to his wife and his wife telling him to take care of the kids before she let go. Was enough to reduce me to tears. sigh. UT is offering free admission to college students from new orleans. - that nephew's girlfriend chick writing emails to chris, GRRR?! Girls are manipulative dammit. I hate it. Reading about that made my blood boil. - i hope you feel better and less down. sounds like you are a tad better. - your journal isn't boring at all. the style is very sweet and has tongue in cheekiness i like. makes me think of those popular chick lits where the protagonist is a house wife and has all these thoughts and no one is none the wiser. - Finally. I really appreciate having you in my life (despite us not actually really knowing each other). I do. I really appreciate it.

from nascarwidow :

Hi there. I saw that you added me to your buddy list and wondered if I could get you password. [email protected] Thanks Shelli

from sweet-cynic :

well soon, your kids will be in school during the day. more time to tend to yourself? a little? am i being naive? too hopeful? well if i am, i'm hoping for you still. you're in my prayers :-/

from sweet-cynic :

at least he's not being an ass anymore right? or is he... i'm scared of marriage. i want to thank you for being there for me. seriously. everynow and again i need a reminder of why all of this is a GOOD thing.. and i read your notes.. and it helps me from regressing TOO much when i do. maybe one day i can buy you a cup of coffee? you're close enough actually.

from sweet-cynic :

i always always pretend that the limit is 5 over what it actually is. stupid texan cop doesn't know squat.

from sweet-cynic :

elle's lucky. i wasn't allowed to date.

from sweet-cynic :

my car is COVERED in pollen and bird poop. its gotten so bad that i have to just resign myself to the idea that i wil always have to touch the cakey dry poop when i want to get in my car. i wash it.. and 2 days later its covered. we have lots of trees in our complex. thank you for the concern. i worry about them too. i call them everyday.. or i used to. since ive been down, its hard to talk ot them cz i feel like a disappointment.. but once every 2-3 days now. i love crawfish :) i suck head too. haha. :) i dont know if i told you but everytime i talk to you i feel like im talkign to a surrogate mom. lol not that you'd want another child, but just saying..

from captainron :

Mudbugs are just too much work. If you want real shellfish, than you need New England lobsters (although king crab is still my favorite...)

from sweet-cynic :

congrats on having such a lovely pool! sounds lovely. bet you cant wait for the weather to be consistently.. hot..? or can you? haha. thank you for the sweet note. you've been nothing but kind to me since FOREVER. thank you, laura.

from captainron :

If there ever is the need to "hunt me down" let me know... I'll leave breadcrumbs

from sweet-cynic :

that's sad. i think we all need to believe that good relationships we see portrayed on tv were just as good off screen. i love them all in almost equally but i think i had the most respect for samantha as a person. seemed like she was didn't play any games in her 'relationships" and she was so no nonsense i couldn't help but respect her as person. she also never judged when the other girls screwed up. wow, i didn't know there were supposed to be a movie either. i would have loved to see it. it's sad and lonely without satc :) if she was your third? who was your first, second and least favorite?

from sweet-cynic :

aww damn. they all hate kim?

from captainron :

I think knee pictures would be appropriate... :-)

from sweet-cynic :

thank you for the note. i will be more careful. i've been getting lectures all day today from mary ellen. off and on, telephone, email, im, her boyfriend. i am allergic to alcohol like many asians. i dunno though, i've been drinking a while and never experienced anything like that or seen anything like it. will be more careful from now on.

from captainron :

We always have a spot, here in the northeast... Amy can make you cookies. I could take you sailing.. These dreams....

from floodtide :

I think I remember that Hunter's birthday will be Tuesday? Happy birthday to him, along with sincere wishes for a happy new year to you. I'm out of town and therefore online only sporadically when at all, but I'm thinking of you. Much love, ft

from sweet-cynic :

i'm sorry for your lost.. i hope you're able to find comfort in your memories and in your family.

from captainron :

No, you.... Merry Christmas Laura

from captainron :

I couldn't hate you even if you were under a palm tree and I was butt deep in snow. Some people are meant to be cherished. I have a feeling you're one of those.

from captainron :

you aren't where the floods are, are you? I know Texas is a big place, but still when I saw the news, there was a pang of worry....

from sweet-cynic :

rather, i hope he'll enjoy it as much as i did

from sweet-cynic :

i was on the robotics team in highschool. fun stuff. i hope he enjoyed it as much as i did.

from sweet-cynic :

how old is elle?

from kimberline :

ahh! locked. password, por favor. ([email protected])

from waterford :

9/27/04 Laura!!! Hey how are you? I just actually got your g/b notes from last month! I guess it might have been you that was showing up. Whatever. If you are still sharing your psswrd I would still like to read you. I hope you are doing well. Take care. (guinness(at)hotmail.com

from manda-d :

Hi! I still stop by... can I please have your password? Thanks :-) [email protected]

from captainron :

Give up? I think not....

from sweet-cynic :

oh no! yer locked! may i have the password please?

from sweet-cynic :

i hope i find my own chris eventually.

from sweet-cynic :

that was a beautiful entry. about beauty and being in love. glad you're feeling better.

from gypsy-poet :

Miss lady, you need to follow that good advice and not over-do things. I am willing to give you lessons on how to be a "Shamurai Warrior" if you would like... ((hugs))

from captainron :

Laura, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You'll be fine, I just know it. I wish I could have gotten to Houston. Maybe next time I come down. Take care {{{hugs}}} Ron

from sweet-cynic :

if you could, you should scan in some scrap book pages and let your readers be privy to your creative frilly side :) good luck with everything, again.

from sweet-cynic :

good luck good luck good luck good luck!

from second-love :

Of course... thanks for asking! Just put in poplord and the password 1234. That should do the trick :). My archives are a bit out of order cuz i had another diary that i was afraid was too obvious, so i cut and pasted stuff over... so its a bit hard to follow, but the dates are correct nonetheless!

from sweet-cynic :

thank you thank you for all the virtual support you've given me. thank you. where are you from, if i remember correctly, it's texas right? i don't know if i "remember" that or if i'm inclined to believe that because here in austin, it's raining like crazy too. (i'm paranoid about taking baths because i'm afraid bacteria in the water will go up my cooter... tmi? hehe i'm sorry)

from starlight42 :

I found you through another diary I read...I had a chance to read several of your entries and really enjoyed them. I loved the one with your memories of a summer & the car. Anyway, I hope you do get a chance to talk with your husband & discuss the issue at hand.

from captainron :

I hope you feel better soon Laura, both physically and emotionally.

from gypsy-poet :

Just wanted you to know that I loved visiting Hawaii vicariously through you... and that I am back ;)

from jadedlife :

My user name on LJ is justifiedmercy. But I think you have to set up an account to read? Both Mollie and I subside there now.

from jadedlife :

My user name on LJ is justifiedmercy. But I think you have to set up an account to read? Both Mollie and I subside there now.

from jadedlife :

Im here still well not so much at the diaryland site Im more at the livejournal site now. Have fun in HI! :D

from roxyelliot :

Bizarre.

from captainron :

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

from floodtide :

Hey, sweetie - Thanks for your great note. MSB is far left, the bearded dude on my right. Our buddies Suzanne & Mark are next with their boys Carl & Alex (and their dog Bosie), and Ruth and Jim follow going left to right. In the far right of the picture you can see a blue sign hanging on the front porch railing with white letters; they say "Villa Cecile." It's a pretty special place. Love, ft

from captainron :

Laura, Thanks for the thoughts. I'm alive and hopefully well. I'll post when I know more. I'm glad things are well with you. Ron

from floodtide :

Your trip has been a vicarious visit for me, too - thanks for sharing. Alice, Balto, Bow Bridge - all favorites. Carnegie Deli, all of it. Hope you're traveling safely and happy to be home: you're in my thoughts. Much love, flood

from roxyelliot :

Didn't you see the striking workers at the Oyster Bar?

from roxyelliot :

Sounds like you guys had a good time. :)

from rosarybeads :

Hope was the last thing. I always thought it should have been Love, because Love encompasses more. And Love drives a person to do more. Thank you for the notes. I think I beat you to the lunacy. But the 90 degree weather and constant sunshine is helping. And you were listening to my favorite band... I've had that one line in my head all month. (That, and isn't it ironic? "Disconnect and self-destruct one moment at a time") Oh, and Elle. I always thought that if my mom had been... well... more like you (or someone like you, you get the jist)... we wouldn't have gone through the power struggle that is the teen years. As I got older, I realized that it happens in different degrees to everyone. One day very soon, she'll be thanking you for being who you are, because it makes up so much of who she will become.

from sweet-cynic :

:( i dont know what to do with myself anymore. he tried to commit suicide duriing a fight and thinks somehow that brought us closer.. and he changed his email pw cuz i can't log in anymore.. and they were gonna meet up today for lunch but i dont know anymore cuz i cant log in ... and... school... school... i dont know what to say about it because im not doing anything about it. i don't know what to do with myself. how can one person play such a huge role in your life- ive neglected everything this semester for him- how is that possible? .... i'm so lost and i need things to be normal again. i need a solid month of consistency...

from rosarybeads :

(tried putting this in your gb) You should try rolling your own sushi. Since your dietary habits dictate that you are now, an honorary asian. Mabuhay! :)

from cdghost :

enjoyed reading your words

from rosarybeads :

Greg has the same schedule. I'm suprised we can even HAVE a Valentine's Day, because he's working from 6-4... and it's looking like he may have to stay until 5 because one of his guys is MIA. It'll be okay, though. He made reservations for dinner at 8pm, and a "suprise" before then. Sneaky. Did Chris already purchase his VDay gift? Greg found out last night - because he was about to buy his online. I was like, "NOOOOOOO!" and then he got all excited. Punk.

from rosarybeads :

...you know you can't leave me hangin' like that. I'm on pins and needles here! xoxo

from floodtide :

No, not 'psycho' at all - merely human. Love, flood

from captainron :

They used the stars hon, they used the stars...

from floodtide :

Thank you for thinking of me, but I am nowhere near THAT stage. Once I have steady employment, in fact, I'll be fine: my student loan debt is half many people's. Just been stressed and behind lately because of unemployment, but am catching back up. Here, though, is some 'nice,' and some 'attention': You are lovely and wonderful and I"m grateful for you. Will be thinking of you as the city spruces up. Hell, with the Panthers playing I may even WATCH. Love, flood

from rosarybeads :

Oh come on. I have faith that you're a crafty-creative like me, and can make your errands into your exercise. For energy, I pop a ginseng dropper under my tounge. Sometimes I add ginko-biloba, ginseng and flax seed oil into my smoothies. I'm good at the supplements thing, but I used to be terrible with it. I think that whole year I spent at 220 lbs. is my fear-motivator. Send some of that Texas sky this-a-way. The sky here is inherently ugly during the winter. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

Have you tried taking melatonin or doing a stretchy type workout before bedtime? xoxo

from raygirl999 :

i'm from texas and i just wanted to say hi...

from captainron :

There are times when I's so just like to give you a hug and tell you everything will be all right.

from captainron :

I'd always choose clarity over existance, but it definately is the more painful path to travel at times.

from rosarybeads :

I wish I could master the skill of not freaking out.... xoxo

from captainron :

Sometimes you just have to decide, is it all worth it? If it is, you do all you can, and if it isn't, then you suck it up and move on with yoru life. Staying in limbo just wastes years, you regret losing later on. This I know from experience. If things stay the same, there is no reason for him to change. Why would you when you get what you want? Good luck in what ever you decide Laura...

from rosarybeads :

12/03: Ah. Parallel. Apparently Gregory and Chris are as well. I wonder if we all met, would some fourth dimension erupt between us? Hm.

from rosarybeads :

Forget understanding the book; I find that most people are illiterate. Not exclusive to that particular entry, either....

from rosarybeads :

I drove through TX during tornado "season". I actually like tornados. I promised Greg that I'd take him through tornado alley if he didn't stop pestering me. :) xoxo

from rosarybeads :

Oh, yay. :) That entry made me happy. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

11/13: I think it's 75% about the romance, and 25% about doing the work. I used to have those percentages all wrong, but I think the 75/25 split is working nicely.

from rosarybeads :

11/12: It is never too early, or too late, to begin making resolutions. We bought a hefty blender last night after realizing that we didn't replace mine (it broke during the move). There's just something about making smoothies and mudslides together.... you know? And speaking of clean houses, Mrs. Parallel, I had Matka bring her fancy new steam cleaner (it's a huge Hoover contraption, but hardly makes any noise)so that we could "sanitize" our carpets. I cannot tell you how much I love freshly scrubbed carpeting. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

I thinking locking, for you, is a good thing. You tend to dance crazier when no one is watching, kwim? :) Maybe with a place where your thoughts can go every which way, your mind will feel more at ease. I know that has helped me tremendously. Everyone needs a small pocket of the world to deposit their crazy. :) xoxo

from rosarybeads :

Yes. And please know that this time is no exception. Although not the same driving forces, I feel the same. Disenchanted would be a good word to use right about now. Sometimes I feel like all the good doesn't weigh out the bad. Not between us, *surrounding* us. I feel like if I left, it would all go away. But that makes him break down, shake and cry and I can't be having that. I like snuggled up sleeping much better. I think the fact that we build so much "busy" around ourselves adds to it on a different level. Sometimes I think we spend too much time together, others I think we spend too much time apart. Hm. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

Grr to the damn GB. Anyway. Laura. HUGS. I've been there. Twice, even. So take the advice of a seasoned ex-wife that you NEED to lay down ground rules. Relationships, like anything bound for success, need structure and balance. Like a painting that moves you to tears, or a wine that has sat for ages because an old Sonoma county family who has been making wine for centuries says it needs to be so. I never had a connection with anyone until I met Greg, and he was the same way. A marriage filled with void and random acts of futility is no marriage at all. And. Though it is hard to swallow today, remember the old addage that for every finger you point in blame - three of your own point back at you. Find out what is going on with Laura FIRST. Then address Chris, then LauraandChris. Dreaming a new dream IS intense and fierce, and sometimes it may not even seem like it is worth it. It is terrifying and relentless and you will feel like your body is ripping its own heart out. But. When you dream a new dream WITH the one you call husband, you feel none of that. All the pain just washes away and it's a whole new youandhim. I promise. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

I have it, but there's nothing on it as of yet. There is, however, a great deal in notepad. I think I enjoy writing there *more*. The online journaling thing takes your personal life to that of a paparazi-addicted hasbeen. I don't aspire to be one of those. I couldn't get a listen-in on The Little Prince. I SO wanted to. I've been meaning to ask you - do you know anyone who is involved with the pianists that come every summer? Greg and I are actually heading out for that; last summer wasn't an opportune time to be feeding into my piano competition obsessions. :) xoxo

from floodtide :

Thank you for the notes - and congrats to your daughter in her fabulous performance. I will listen! Love, flood

from rosarybeads :

I love The Little Prince. :) But you knew that already. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

10/29:I know people who have done that - plan for a future that they have no intention of being present for. I have yet to figure out why people do that. xoxo

from floodtide :

Hey, sweetie - You inspired me, and I have not only honored your request but I listed the whole kit-n-caboodle: click on the first of what will be two entries today, and you'll find my recipes and techniques for turkey, stuffing(s), and gravy, along with a photo of last year's (if I do say so myself) magazine-cover-worthy turkey. Love, flood. PS: I was JUST thinking about "Immortal Beloved" the other day while listening to the Ninth.

from rosarybeads :

10/24: Were we writing our entries at the same time? ((hugs)) I hear you. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

10/22: I'm glad you had a good day. xoxo

from thintowin :

Hi! The puppy is great, she hated travelling and that she was often confined to bathrooms while we moved junk in, but now she rules the roost. Everyday is an adventure for her, she has never had this much room to roam free before. :)

from rosarybeads :

I did that too, a little while back. And after my resting period I reassessed things and decided to stay. I'm glad that you're finding rest... even if you are slowly becoming a bad speller. I'm kidding! xoxo

from thintowin :

Hi hun! I missed you. Thanks for the notes. :)

from rosarybeads :

10/17: Keep looking up.... :) xoxo

from rosarybeads :

I felt like that last year. And you're right you know. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

10/13: If you let yourself melt into the walls, you're only hurting yourself. Things were like that with Greg and me when we came home from the hospital with Alexander. There was this hellish 2 week period of adjustment, but after one long night of me snapping back and saying "HELLO! I need some help here! I need to you PAY ATTENTION!" things went back to good. And we're a helluva lot stronger for that night. Greg hadn't even realized what he wasn't doing - he thought that because I was doing everything like I had been doing before Alexander was born (and wasn't speaking up about needing his assistance), that I had it all under control as usual. It took a LOT for me to speak up, but I'm glad I did. ((hugs)) And yes... there are plenty other ways of escaping without actually leaving. You're talking to the pro, here. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

10/11: No one ever became trully successful by trying to please the masses before themselves. I'm a runner. Both typical and notsomuch. After so many years of running, you get tired of it and you need a place to rest. I find that when people around me start bringing the negative, the best thing I can do is say, "SHUT UP! ENOUGH!" and go on about my business. (you can reword that to be more polite, of course) Everyone needs release. I have music and exercise. Maybe the purchase of an upright (if you don't have one already, shame! LOL) and a feedbag is in order? :) xoxo

from rosarybeads :

10/09: I've found that things left unsaid are the most damaging... but that's just my experience. However. I don't think that friendships like that ever fade. They change, and morph into different depths of profound, but they never, ever fade. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

10/08: I'm glad you can breathe again! And I'm glad that I had a little help in your nice relaxing breath. :) xoxo

from rosarybeads :

10/07: I hope you feel better soon. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

09/26:I have two "Maggie"'s in my life. Christina and Heather (my ex inlaws).And they like to know how the kids have turned out. Even the new one. There's nothing that says you cannot set things straight. And, you might even make a new friend out of an old one. I did, and it continually suprises me. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

09/14: You are not dull. Everyone has grey days (or grey years, like yours truly...). When I was 17, I moved out of the house to live with one of my best girlfriends. Her mom had this framed artwork that had "The Characteristics of a Bad Mother" written on it - have you seen that? All the "bad mom" qualities are things like making sure you did your homework, that your room was clean (so you could find your itshay), that you had a healthy meal, giving you medicine that tasted like yack so you wouldn't be sick anymore... things like that. My ex used to do that - make me out to be the "bad mom" (well, he used other words), but I stuck to my guns and my children are healthy, praised academically and socially, and they're beautiful. I love that I had a small (if not slightly bigger) part in that. And you should too. You have intelligent, talented children and have yourself to thank for it. ((hugs)) xoxo

from rosarybeads :

09/12: I'd do just about anything for the ballet.... more on that later, because I have *really* got to change the subject matter up in here. It's making *me* mad. LOL xoxo

from rosarybeads :

09/09: It isn't a setback unless you enable it to be; think of it that way. I'm really really glad he's home, too. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

09/08: You have me all excited about seeing the Nutcracker now. I've only missed one year since I was 5. (well, to be fair, I was always IN one from the time I was 5 until I was 11) We have to go to Boston or NYC, though because the production at the PPAC is decidedly blah. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

08/24: Reading my mind again. ((hugs)) xoxo

from rosarybeads :

08/23: We're joined at the psyche. :) *sigh* No baby yet - this little boy is taking his time. And teasing us. My contractions go from being 11 minutes apart, to 5 minutes apart, and then they STOP! Greg is getting so antsy to meet his son, he's been pep talking my abdomen. LOL I'm still feeling ugly though. And this water retention I've gotten over the past week (10 pounds in water weight! OMG!) is not helping at all. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

08/22: I've been really ugly lately. Or rather, thinking ugly thoughts. I used to be the one who apologized all the time (in past relationships) ... now I just don't bother. I still haven't figured out if that's a good or a bad thing. xoxo

from rosarybeads :

08/20:Ah yes. The gypsy soul. I don't think that part of a person ever dies. It hasn't in me, no matter how hard I try to tame it with things like domestic duties and responsibility. I think the damaged always survive because they're seasoned travelers. They know the bumps in the road better than anyone else and can always see them coming. xoxo

from captainron :

Hmm, ships at sea huh? That's something we can make happen ;-)

from rosarybeads :

07/29: We're looking forward to school starting over here. The girls are anxious to go back, meet new people, and paint. In that order even. LOL I find that if I have a little wine with my 1/4 pill of cyclobenzaprine before bed I'm zonked right out. These next three and a half weeks can't go by fast enough. But I'm glad you got some sleep. Sleep is a good thing. So is Chris coming home. xoxo

from gypsy-poet :

There is a fine line between brave and fool-hardy. I think I straddle it more often than not... but thanks for your thoughts, they mean alot to me. I should probably say that more...

from gypsy-poet :

There is a fine line between brave and fool-hardy. I think I straddle it more often than not... but thanks for your thoughts, they mean alot to me. I should probably say that more...

from rosarybeads :

03/20: I'm not locked down, like you would think. I just locked for the sake of locking, if that makes any sense. I'm not trying to draw attention to my diary right now (or ever, for that matter) and I'm not going to feed into drama. So it's locked. I'll unlock when I start writing again, I promise. :) xoxo

from rosarybeads :

03/11: Which quote are you talking about? The one on the main page is one I discovered while writing an essay in high school about eight years ago, the one on my GB page is out of a Fleetwood Mac song (Gypsy). I think the first one is actually in The Little Prince, come to think of it.... Congrats to Elle! How exciting! xoxo

from floodtide :

Absolutely beautiful - thank you so much for sharing that. Love, Flood.

from floodtide :

You are so great! Thanks yet again. Your most recent note touched me warmly AND made me laugh out loud at the same time - a rare but wonderful combination. I ain't givin' up yet. I have started reading you, too, and I have to ask, since I didn't see the show: Is Carrie Fisher bipolar? I like her writing, and I admire her acting.

from floodtide :

Thank you for the (again)kind and (again) generous note. Several people have sent such support - I feel blessed several times over. More soon. Flood.

from floodtide :

You are sweet and generous and I thank you: thanks for your lovely, affirming note. Don't worry, though; I'm not beating myself up about the thing with B - I'm really not. It was just a good opportunity to remind myself to let up on myself in general: Good for me to recognize that I'm stressed, even if happy, and that WHEN stressed I don't always put my best self forward. When stressed old habits of fishing for love and affirmation want to surface. I have to recognize that, then let it go...

from thisuser :

Yep it's fixed and other then you I am the first person to write in it! I want to thank you for your kind words in your profile about me and my writing. Jeez. You think I'm a writer. :) Well, I'm also a reader reading your writing. (Say that five times fast.) So, thanks. And keep reading and writing and I'll keep writing and reading all right? Right on! yeah... argh, your firt guest book message is an annoying one from me!!! Sorry about that.

from lauracv :

ahh i think it is fixed now

from lauracv :

why is this thing so silly sometimes it is on sometimes it is not

from lauracv :

Just trying to make sure this is turned on.

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