messages to lilmisskewl:
(click here to add new message):

from grandbeach :
Haha, there is a girl with the same name as me in Winnipeg and I think she's only a year older than me. Or maybe she's the same age. But the U of M girl in Vancouver is me. I've just added you.
from grandbeach :
Hey ya! I'd love to see photos of your little one and the wedding!!! I know your first name but not your last though. Maybe you have my real name though? Add me :)
from grandbeach :
That's so weird! I've never had that problem. Wish you still wrote. :(
from tater-fay :
Hey! So nice to hear from you! I was wondering recently what happened to you. I knew you had a baby but wasn't sure when or any of the other details:)
from maibee :
You have quite the bump now, hey? :D Missed you on here, so I added you as a friend on Facebook too (I'm "That Bloody Woman")... Glad to hear all is well.
from tater-fay :
It makes sense that you aren't so currently interested in writing in Diaryland. The baby is a big distraction (a great distraction!) I would imagine! Some things just can't be put into words anyway..know what I mean?
from grandbeach :
The thing is, he knows it's a great opportunity, that's why he would never even think of asking me to stay. He wants me to go. I just wish he'd be truthful with himself about his feelings. Like I said before, I think he believes it on the surface but I think it's BS. ugh.
from maibee :
Awwwww!
from maibee :
I'm so glad to see you're back - and what FANTAAAASTIC NEWS!!! Congratulations to you! :D I'm so happy for you and Hank, you have got to keep us updated as things progress (and WHEN that proposal comes!), because this is really exciting.. ;)
from maibee :
I'm so sorry. I hope you can get out to your fam as soon as possible. *Hugs*
from sunstarr :
Actually, the *only* thing that Ben can't eat is fish. So, I only eat that when we go to a restaurant. Actually, BEN was the one who decided that he didn't want to eat meat any more and I decided to join him. I make all kinds of tasty dishes...not to toot my own horn, but even the most critical carnivore loves my meatless chili!! :-) i love to cook so it's easy for me to be creative! hope that answers your question!
from maibee :
Thanks :)
from tater-fay :
Yea..we are getting married August 4 at a vineyard and also having the reception there. I will try to find a picture of similar dress to my dress and give you the link..since this dress is from the Czech republic I doubt I can find a duplicate on line:)
from maibee :
Thanks. I appreciate it right now. :)
from maibee :
Thinking of you and your family. Take care and keep your head up. x
from tater-fay :
thanks..the engagement feels right with me also. I'm looking at the other note I wrote to you...ha ha. Eh, people change their minds:) My friend, Tracy, likes to bake brownies, etc. and some recipes call for baking soda, which they don't have here?! That is why I brought it to her. I tried to explain to the Dutch customer service girl that the baking soda is sodium bicarbonate (duh...am I wrong about that?) and it is a powder that you use to bake things..it helps the dough rise. Still don't know if she understood what it is:)
from maibee :
LOL. Yeh, but Lupul's still my fave, so there is hope for me yet.. Heh heh!
from tater-fay :
I love him, but DO I want to spend the rest of my life with him? I don't know. I've been married and divorced twice already and don't know if I really want to be married. It is something I will think about, though. I always told my mom I was never getting married again and she understood..she married and divorced twice and swore she would never marry again, and she never did. I don't think my sister ever really believed in getting legally married...but, you never know what the future holds for you!
from fuckupayme :
nah i never really felt "lectured" like THAT now lol i just know you guys are tired of telling me the same shit overrr and overrrr again and seeing no results because i always go back to acting CRAZY!
from maibee :
Fur? Ha, fuzz is more like it.. Could hardly call it fur in his case - LMAO. Oh yeh, and you're right.. Who the fuck IS that?! Haha!
from maibee :
Yeh, they suck.. But it's just one of those things, the doctor says. They are caused by friction from wearing tight trousers and/or having sex. I've managed to irradicate the previous from my lifestyle, but the latter is just something I got to test with trial and error. Not too often, not in certain "ways" etc. I'm seeing a specialist this week though - hopefully they'll have more advice than that I've had so far. I'm HOPING this won't last forever! :)
from tater-fay :
hey sweets! Someone that I wasn't even aware of (if you look at my notes, you'll see) named curiousme (she is also a Diarylander) found my diary and I guess it intrigued her enough to start at the beginning and continue reading...but maybe it was a bit of you too...my "sitemeter" on my diary lets me keep track (it's so cool) of what google searches lead people to my diary, where in the Us (and other countries) people are coming from to view my pages,etc...it's pretty interesting. Happy 2007!!
from fuckupayme :
thanks for the notes. i always appreciate them. right now im pretty much lost for words about everything. i cant even think straight man :[ im hoping hes gonna snap outta this..
from fuckupayme :
happy [early] christmas! man, i HATE pedros family. theyre so f'ing pathetic! time for me to go christmas shopping though, have a good time on your holiday :]
from tater-fay :
thanks! Same to you:) Have a great holiday!
from maibee :
Thanks, Merry Christmas to u too! I'm feeling better now, hopefully it'll stay that way. In RE: to your photo question, a lot of the pix aren't bein hosted now so don't show up. I posted a lot in dust-it-off.diaryland.com though (my blog home to my fam in the UK last year). :D
from fuckupayme :
it worked as good punishment.. only it sucked sooo bad that i felt like i was punishing myself too! LOL
from maibee :
LOL, come harrass my boyfriend, that'd be hella funny (just don't mention me talking about Lupul) - Mwah ha!
from maibee :
Arg, I'ma get in TROUBLE!!! Can't mention the Oilers around here.. *Shifty eyes* LOL
from sinslaidbare :
Thanks so much for filling out our survey! Hope it was as much fun to fill out as it was to create, and for the record, I love the term "playing with BOB". Have a good one! ~Zoe
from maibee :
Sure, there's a few ways. My method is pretty old skool now, I suggest a newer way. Go to filelodge.com, set up an account and upload any mp3 songs you want on your diary. After that head over to http://www.myflashfetish.com/myspace-mp3-players/ and follow instructions. These are pretty good, u can have more than one song on a playlist too. :)
from fuckupayme :
try refreshing maybe :[ i dunno whats wrong!
from fuckupayme :
my diary is working again :]
from fuckupayme :
nah i respect your opinion ALWAYS. its just that ive seen people getting robbed a million times [by people i know and dont know] so ive just become kind of used to it. i know it sounds really fucked up and coldhearted of me to say that, but im being honest when i say it doesnt hit me the same way as it did before i was exposed to it. the people i know dont do this any more and i NEVER did it. as far as rape goes, of course i dont think any part of that should be taken lightly at all. my aunt was raped. i know its serious ass shit. but someone getting punched in the face and their sneakers taken is just shit i see a lot. hopefully you dont see me as being some heartless idiot now though
from fuckupayme :
it was the craziest dream ever. i had another crazy one last night too. lol. i dunno why i keep having these crazyyy dreams.
from tater-fay :
thanks:)
from fuckupayme :
happy birthday!!!!
from fuckupayme :
degrassi is the BEST!!! and i love joey!! even as a adult hes so cuteeee [even my mom thinks so]. ive only seen one or two of the old ones. joeys still on the show, so is kate and spike and snake. theyre all parents now. anyways threes company is another one of my favorites!!! i love that show to death its so CORNY lol but yeah i love it and i also love taxi and happy days and i love lucy and most of those old shows :]
from fuckupayme :
yesss!! i'm so happy :] i too hope it lasts
from lilmisskewl :
Goldglow... "stop it" - I will - no problem - I don't really want to spend time fighting with you. Like I said before, I liked you, I had nothing against you, until I read that - and then it hurt me that you said that. Now I have to rebuttle: You said: " I was never the one that hurt him, he hurt me, killed me emotionally for a long time. "... Honey - He was sooo hurt... he loved you so much & it took him ages to get over you. I love that guy to peices and it ate me up to see it... but yes, I know there are 2 sides to every story - but #1- you don't seem to see his side and #2- what you said to him & and on your diary about his Grandpa & his feelings was VERY harsh. That's all. Take care.
from goldglow :
Bringing this up with me is taking it outside of your friends, so it's not minding your business. Things that made it into this diary entry were at times of angery or some other emotion, which tends to twist issues, emotion skews points of view. Given that you don't know me or who or what I am you should probably stop. I understand that you lashed out at me because you want to protect WG, that's fine. I was never the one that hurt him, he hurt me, killed me emotionally for a long time. That was private stuff between us. So my anger at him expecting me to find emotion for him is a normal reaction. Did I alter my view after, yes... ...in fact I even apologised. (Ever hear of trying to make amends for mistakes? We are all human and make them, can you recognize when you have made one and need to own up to it??) You trying to bring my son into this mess is where you are treading on dangerous ground. And that is a personal attack on me. Need help? No... sorry. My entry one, from what January... well, a lot of time and healing has happened since then. I may have said hurtful things, but I was deeply, deeply hurt in a way that I don't feel I need to explain to you. The end of my relationship with WG was very hard and very painful for all involved, I know you were there for him through it all, so you have to have at least a very small idea of how painful. Things were said and done between the two of us that made things impossible to repair. Things here hidden away, lied about, feelings hurt, etc.... ...yes that will leave some residual feelings or anger behind. That's part of the healing process. If you honestly think that I am the horrible person you are accusing me of being, ask someone who at least tried to get to know me. They will tell you that what you think you know is far from the entire picture and that you are just causing problems where there doesn't need to be any. Take care lilmisskewl. I don't want to have a fight with you. I am sorry you are angry at my angry reaction, but you aren't the person that I needed to apologise to. I have made my amends to the people that need it. If you can't accept that, then that's your issue alone.
from goldglow :
I'm not that insensitive and frankly the whole thing is between WeatherGeek and myself. Don't even worry about my son, he will be a much better person that you will ever be. Maybe you should learn to mind your own business??? Call W.G. He knows about your message to me.
from fuckupayme :
yesss!! im so excited!!! :]
from fuckupayme :
im gonna take those pictures RIGHTTT now
from fuckupayme :
pedro told me he cant waittt to see my nose :]
from fuckupayme :
theres two stations. the first one is the lifetime station which to me is basic cable. they play the movies from time to time. then the other one is a wholeeeee channel dedicated to nothing but the movies, and thats called the lifetime movie station i think. i get that with my dig. cable package.
from fuckupayme :
they stopped looking into it now :[ my aunt [a rn] thinks it was just a regular flu bug that for some crazy reason his body just couldnt overcome.. we'll never know :[ i looked up my other brother on myspace and im pretty sure he has one, but theres no picture and the myspace page is advertising a dating website? im tempted to write to him but i dont know what he will say back..
from fuckupayme :
my private diary is pretty much nonexistant i deleted a bunch of shit on it and never write in it anymore but i DO have a myspace! its private but you can add me of course. its http://www.myspace.com/fukkkkit [lol] and i am INLOVEEEE with my nose piercing. i love it soooo much. i hope i never have to take it out!! at first my job wouldnt allow me to get it, then my boss said go ahead but cover it, now hes saying its fine and i dont even have to cover it!! im sooo happy. im gonna try to take pictures soon!
from fuckupayme :
i dont anything you write me as harsh or worthless at all. i appreciate it more than anything. im happy you have been where i am right now because it feels like im reallyy lost at times and nobody knows what to say. as for pedro, its really hard for me to say how our relationship is going to turn out in the end. some days i feel like hes never going to change, other days i am confident he will because hes already changed so much. i wish i had answers about where him and i are going to end up, but im still really confused, and half the reason i am so so so confused is because i am TOO inlove with him to think clearly and logically about the situation. everyone tells me to leave him, and i know this would probably be the best thing to do, but its so so so hard to actually go through with it because in my heart i dont want to leave him, part of me thinks he will change, i can only see me with him. ugh, its all so confusing. i take everything you say into consideration, and trust me having someone write to me like you did was really good for me because im seeing it from YOUR point of view and you've BEEN there. so thank you veryyyy much, i really appreciate it and im going to keep everything you've said in mind when the time comes to decide what i need to do.
from fuckupayme :
i just read the note you left me! i guess i should have done that first. well, i live in a very very veryyy nonwhite town. in my school, i was a minority because im not hispanic or black. dont get me wrong, i LOVE it to death because for some reason i get along much better this way, but it also has made me weak in the sense that whenever ive had issues with another person they would ALWAYS and i mean ALWAYSSSS throw my.. "whiteness"...in my face. "oh thats just a little white girl" or "ill beat that whitegirls ass" and it seems just natural for me to start to believe that also. im gonna stop saying that now though because im starting to realize people are people and it really doesnt matter.
from fuckupayme :
i just read what you wrote about me and i just want to thank you! that was seriously the highlight of my day :] im gonna add you too, and im gonna read your diary everyday since you say i remind me of the old you. thank you for all your kind words i reallyyyy do appreciate that and never worry about writing to me, good or bad, i respect everyones opinions equally! have a good weekend :]
from grandbeach :
omg. I'm such a nob. I totally just left you a note...on my notes page...so yah, go read it:)
from grandbeach :
Basically, a jill job filled mostly by women that is "less than challenging" (from The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum"). This job is a job that a woman takes when she is starting out in the world in order to pay bills, but not much else. She is hoping for a much better job. A job such as "secretary" is often a jill job since you don't intend on being one forever. In fact, you probably don't even want to be one, you just are cuz it pays the bills. A Jill Job. Lol. You seriously need to read this book though, too funny.
from grandbeach :
Thank you.
from furiouspuppy :
xoxoxo! Thanks for your support. Nothing like having a cheering squad to help me! *hugs*
from grandbeach :
You know, it's funny. I actually do feel better about everything having sent that email. I am however dreading any possible responses from him but it's been a day so I don't think there will be any.
from grandbeach :
Oh yah, I know it'll be more, hopefully I can figure out how much more costly it is to live there, things like insurance, rent, groceries, etc. If I don't move until I'm done my undergrad then hopefully I'll be able to pursue a professional job with a higher pay so I won't necessarily notice the difference, lol. Crossing fingers, that's for sure.
from grandbeach :
Thank you for your kind words. I really needed that. Thank you, again.
from grandbeach :
I totally didn't get that apology. She said she didn't have to apologize since she didn't actually say you didn't give me a message. To which I replied, wow, don't be a baby, just say you're sorry. Yah, she wouldn't. She also didn't take kindly to what I said. OH WELL!!!
from ashley1415 :
hey im new so im cheaking the sigt out and leaving notes to random ppl
from grandbeach :
Yup, you sure don't know the situation. Trust me, if you knew it, you'd understand completely. I'll email it to you.
from grandbeach :
Merry Christmas!! I hope it's everything you wanted and more!
from grandbeach :
Oh, the comments weren't from anyone at d-land. They were made by friends and whatnot. But I don't really want to get into it right now. Hopefully the anger goes away, lol.
from grandbeach :
Don't forget that he's lucky to have you!!
from weathergeek :
okay well grandbeach can't hog your notes. ;) i really enjoyed dinner with you last night. definitely has to become a regular thing. and screw all those who make you feel like a horrible person for wearing your heart on your sleeve. that's you. that's what you do. man, the prairie dog is one sick bastard. not surprising. ;)
from grandbeach :
I know exactly how you're feeling about just always being on the go, always having something to do. It makes me bitchy, but only to my family, lol. The funny thing is, I was thinking the exact same stuff as you this mornning (except our 'things' are different). Hopefully we will both pull through and find a way to make time for ourselves without impeding on things we 'have' to do. Also, I think it's weird that I'm the only one that leaves you a note....:)
from grandbeach :
Mostly, you're cool just cuz. Not really a reason, I know. But, really, I know exactly what you're going through and I think it's awesome that you've made a decision regarding your relationship and all that jazz.
from grandbeach :
You're so cool. :)
from grandbeach :
Your letter is good. I think I would leave out talk of money and such at this point though. You don't want your letter to tell him EVERY little detail, otherwise is may seem like it's not open for discussion. But you definetly should find out where he stands and what he sees for your guys' future. Good Luck!!
from grandbeach :
Man, those people suck. Suck big time. You can tell them I said that too (not that they know me, nor would they care, but seriously, they need to get lives!!!!!).
from grandbeach :
You are allowed to do something nice for yourself every once in awhile. Don't let them make you feel bad about it. They are the ones being selfish, and if they can't see that, that's their problem, not yours. Feel better.

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