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messages to lily750:
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from swimmmer72 :
I don't have email or addy for you, but I will have this year's CD for you sometime soon. Let me know what works best for you, ok? My email is SELsteveO@verizon.net
from swimmmer72 :
Not that you asked for my two cents, but you know I'm going to give them anyway.... You said it yourself: why would you? Give him another chance, that is. You have had the freedom to do the things you want to do. Friends, college fun, making out in a bar; with the exception of the making out part, those are all things you should STILL be able to do while seeing someone, but it sounds like you couldn't with him. Your friends are important and is he worth sacrificing them for what he brings, both the good and the bad. You know what your values are, and you're starting to have some real good ideas about what you're looking for in a relationship. Examine this if you have to make SURE he isn't the one, but I think you already know. Good luck on finals! :)
from swimmmer72 :
For what it's worth, I've also tried to steer clear of those obsessive relationships that seem to completely consume me and am really just looking for that really "nice" woman. The one that still singes my heart with at least a noticeable amount of passion. Yes, I want it all and won't settle, but nice is near the top of the list. BTW, making the bed the morning after just means he likes a neat bedroom, right? What's wrong with that? :)
from swimmmer72 :
Good for you!! In this case, ownership is a virtue, and you own your life. :)
from swimmmer72 :
re: dishonesty. So many ways I could respond to that, and I'm sure you've heard it all already from your friends, so I'll just say this: You're a great person with so, so much to offer, and you absolutely deserve better. So hold out for that soulful man of your dreams - you know you hate wasting time and emotion. The boys are not worth it. :)
from swimmmer72 :
for what it's worth, i think you are going about it the right way - organizing, analyzing, thinking things through. comparisons are ok, especially if they help you determine what it is that is non-negotiable in what you are looking for out of love and life. if you ever need any "halo-boy-perspective", just let me know. i hope things work out for you.
from swimmmer72 :
Happy Birthday!!! :)
from swimmmer72 :
besides, homework sucks... :p
from swimmmer72 :
GREAT sentiments!!! don't settle, you deserve nothing less than someone who truly appreciates you for who you are!! good song, too! :)
from swimmmer72 :
deleted another one just before i got to it! arrggghhhhh! you drive me nuts sometimes. :)
from swimmmer72 :
two cents you didn't ask for: i think that it's only natural that sometimes one will love more than the other and other times, that will be reversed. what that all boils down to is exactly what you said - not thinking so damn much and going with the flow. there's a balance and a lot of give and take, and sometimes you have to stop analyzing and just do it. BTW, i wouldn't call your entries pessimistic. this is where you go when you need to vent or sometimes digest whatever you've been chewing on and there's nothing wrong with that. you're right. there's no place like home. :)
from swimmmer72 :
people say things they shouldn't, or don't mean to all the time. if she's the one still carrying a grudge, you have to wonder whether it was really an accident that she said what she did. either way, you have it all over her and i'm glad you're able to recognize things for what they are. maybe not so oblivious after all... :)
from swimmmer72 :
for what it's worth, you're confusing the shit out of me, too, but you are right. relationships based on guilt and obligation are already over. the key is figuring out how to make it otherwise in the long run. making a person happy because you want to can just as easily turn into a guilt trip as time goes by. it seems like you're happy now. i'm glad to read that you've found a way to balance it all. :)
from swimmmer72 :
ass X3? please, liz, let's see if we can do better than that! think about what it is that you really want, and if having it all is it, then realize you're going to spend a lot of time looking/waiting. you know as well as i do that you need to have SOME challenge, and i'd submit that is a healthy attitude. with relationships, life is a compromise. it's just a question of compromising the right things. big help, huh. ok, one more thing. it isn't black and white, and there is more grey out there than you think. some day, you'll find the right shade. :)
from swimmmer72 :
i hope you are feeling better. this might cheer you up, despite the 4.4 miles p/day and all the other stuff, you are probably losing more weight than i am... :)
from swimmmer72 :
package is ready, need an addy. use my email = SELsteveO@csdotcom. :)
from swimmmer72 :
well, good. given the choice, i'd rather have people be able to relate. still, as you know all too well, being able to thumb your nose at the rat race and contemplate a happy existence is easier said than done, especially for us "type A's". hope you are enjoying your break! :)
from swimmmer72 :
my happiness entry wasn't directed at you, and i hope you didn't think that. it was actually a result of my preceding entry of all the shit i've piled upon myself to get to where i "want" to be and how much it will stress me out and limit the things i can do in life. not that i ever complain about having enough time, right? one solution would be to throw my computer out the window. anyway, in my last job, i had finally got to the point where the money was good, but the stress level was through the roof. i don't want to go back to that, but that's me. you live under a completely different set of dynamics which i have a pretty good understanding of, but your life is your own and i'm not being critical of anything that you do. this is just another one of my proverbial crossroads. :)
from swimmmer72 :
to bring up something you got on my case about: "still got things to work out". yeah, see how that is? i hope things work out for you, and you know i have complete faith in you! :)
from swimmmer72 :
guestbook still not working. yes, i'm still reading, or rather, WOULD be if you were still writing something. i miss your entries no matter what they were about, and i especially miss your humor. sooooo..... you told bailey to get off her ass and update, so what about you? there has to be SOMETHING happening in either your life or the 'burgh worth writing about, right? i hope you are well! :)
from swimmmer72 :
ahhhhh..., ummm, urp, oooooo.... well, um, how much WEIGHT are we talking about, exactly..?????.... :P, :D, :), ha ha ha, yes, you can SLAP me the next time you see me....
from swimmmer72 :
I'm writing this again, I couldn't get it to work in guestbook. So, if this is the second note today, you know why. You ask good questions. Let me ask one, if I may? How much of this is due to the demands of your schedule, which we both know you will always take seriously no matter how much you try to downplay it? If the answer is that you still feel you are somewhere with someone that you know is going nowhere, then you know you might need to make a change. People stay in relationships because they fear the uncertainty of what happens next if they break up, especially if there is a lot of time invested. Relationships shouldn't be a lot of work all the time, and they definitely shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself. If that's the case, you can do better, even if it is without a boyfriend. Good luck.
from swimmmer72 :
i wasn't going to mess up your brand-new, completely cleaned up note page, nope, not me, i wasn't going to do it, BUT.... well,... you know how i am.... ;)

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