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messages to lulublu:
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from bubaloo :
Ahhhhh, he loves you! That is so sweet. I hope that everything works out for you, I'm praying for ya!
from vade--mecum :
You're the best, Lu!
from bubaloo :
Thanks! Yeah, I needed it. I was just getting ready to come over and ask for it. I figured I would catch up on everyone a little at a time. What I thought was REALLY great was your FAQ on my space. Ya had me rolling.
from lissacakes :
Yes! It is! It's been awhile that you two kids have been cavorting (Is that a word?).
from sepulkhur :
She wrote a new post. I don't frickin' believe it. Way to go!
from sepulkhur :
Hi there. No crazy means no locky, if that's what you want.
from lissacakes :
Hello, Beautiful. Don't beat yourself up about you know who. You're only human. Like Hil said, when the time is right, it'll end.
from vade--mecum :
Hello, darling!
from hider :
idiot my ass,if you're an idoit than anyone who takes time to feel anything is. i think the problem is you're (we're because im speaking from exsperience) a little to inteligent for our own good, we no theres more to everything and one than what is at face value sometimes there more but you can't tell when some things are just that faceds and shells
from vade--mecum :
I wish I had some advice for you on this one, but I don't. I went through almost the same exact situation with H. In a way you almost need this to counteract a lot of other stuff, but don't let it get so far that you start to let it really get you down. When the time is right, you will break away. many many hugs to you!!
from vade--mecum :
I had to lock my diary for a reason that I will explain in my diary . . . your password is just like the one you gave me -- nickname and then real name.
from vade--mecum :
you, my dear, are anything but a harlot. Why would you think that? You have to get over all of that!! You are wonderful and kind and respectable. You have nothing to be ashamed of!
from lissacakes :
But I don't know if it should be called Phantom Pain because I didn't do it, I didn't cut it off? What do you think?
from lissacakes :
But what I've learned, the only thing I've learned is that they are all shit people. Thanks for the compliment, it's what I did in the car today.
from lissacakes :
You made me a gasp, in a good way... "There is a beautiful man in my again"
from lissacakes :
Oh, but think about the end of the six weeks. I'm so excited!
from vade--mecum :
Oh my!! I'm sorry that you're not feeling well. You know what you need to watch? The Sex and the City where Samantha gets fat injections in her face and she has to wear the gurdle (aka "girdle with a hole") and she has sex with a Calvin Klein model with it on. Ahhh, good times. Anyways, I hope that you feel better soon and I'm sure that everything is going to work out with grad school and everything else.
from lissacakes :
Yes, because as tony noted, nobody is perfect. But, why? Why do you love them? Perhaps you can put it into a few pretty words for me, because I must be missing something. Too many people like them for those people to be hearing what I'm hearing.
from vade--mecum :
I have felt that way so many times, but I have come to the conclusion that they settled. Or that there really are fabulous guys out there and you have to wade through all the crappy ones to find them. I can't believe he said he had to check his schedule. Moron.
from lissacakes :
Sucky McSuckerton has tried to explain why she hates Jeff Buckley on her diary.
from vade--mecum :
You are such perfection.
from lissacakes :
"Hipster" really gets me. Oh.... [Pause.] Anyways... "workin' it"? If that isn't the most appropriate rhthym to match content, well then I don't know what is.
from lissacakes :
Oh, Lu. Been better; been worse. I'm just sort of dull, you know.
from vade--mecum :
"The past falls on Alabama" I love that!
from lissacakes :
I choose you! There's plenty of lissa to go around...
from vade--mecum :
is my username vade--mecum or pixie0323? Because I still can't get in!! (this could be because I'm a retard)
from vade--mecum :
Lu!! I didn't get your email til last night!! I was in and out of San Diego all week!! Oh, and I didn't get the password. Could you pretty pretty please send it again?!
from lissacakes :
I didn't get it? I'm joymayland@hotmail.com.
from lissacakes :
Keep in touch, please? Luv ya.
from lissacakes :
Not to worry. Our paths will cross one day. It's destiny!
from sepulkhur :
Wow... I really felt this one. Made me think of the Jeff Buckley "Hallelujah" song we listened to on the ride back from ComiCon (of course, I originally heard it on "Shrek" since I'm a Philistine).
from sepulkhur :
But... I don't like your CDs all that much. I need a better motivation... You know, I had to check what time you posted this to figure out what you were talking about... hope things improved from there.
from lissacakes :
"You can have my CD's." Man, I love ya. You were not impolite or whatever on the phone. I felt so awkward. It's Melissa... uh, Melissa from Diaryland... harhar, I'm a big dork, har. Drowning sorrows in Nyquil is better than many alternatives I've employed (I'm sure you have not, you little angel), such as tequila, prescription pain relievers, mass quantities of vodka, etc. Ugh, don't even drink vodka anymore!
from lissacakes :
I meant HE WILL DO SHITTY THINGS. I don't do shitty things; I'm perfect.
from lissacakes :
I will do shitty things and they will hurt, so I'm not going to tell you to be positive and whatever. BUT, right now, he's doing sweet things and you can still enjoy them and MAYBE JUST MAYBE his sweet things will outnumber his shitty things and that's all there is hope for out there in the world anyway!
from lissacakes :
Aye, you caught me. Yes, I do.
from lissacakes :
Given that he is not incredibly hot, maybe he can liiiiiiiike me not so fast. I don't deal well with expectations being placed upon my person for a certain type of behavior or a certain level of reciprocation. Ugh, I'm a f'd up girl.
from lissacakes :
Crazy good? Oh..... Hate you. (Just kidding, maybe.)
from lissacakes :
Wait. Why don't we want to like him? I'm confused.
from lissacakes :
Um, yeah. I left you a note on my notes page. Oopsie.
from lissacakes :
Rooting for me as in for the job? I think that's what you mean. Thanks! I'm rooting for me too!
from lissacakes :
You are from the South? Where? Do tell. Want the whole story.
from lissacakes :
Yes, I'm not happy about the scandal. That is why he had to return to his own room. Everyone was supposed to be in our room drinking and it ended up being him, me, and my passed out friend. I got the whole philosophical justification for why he continually cheats on his wife. Then I was pounced upon, but that was short-lived. If I wasn't so drunk, it would have been shorter lived. OH, well. I sent him home regardless.
from lissacakes :
Yes, I'm not happy about the scandal. That is why he had to return to his own room. Everyone was supposed to be in our room drinking and it ended up being him, me, and my passed out friend. I got the whole philosophical justification for why he continually cheats on his wife. Then I was pounced upon, but that was short-lived. If I wasn't so drunk, it would have been shorter lived. OH, well. I sent him home regardless.
from lissacakes :
You know, people have this idea that the whole place is completely submerged. And I try to have conversations and say that the French Quarter is probably going to be okay, but they argue with me. The little I know of the geography of the area, I thought that the quarter was not that close to the lake and that the damage might be less severe than other spots. Thanks for the article. Cafe du Monde is OK!
from vade--mecum :
I can't spell. Celsius. Oh wait, that doesn't look right either. Geez. I got a D in Chemistry, what do you want from me?!
from vade--mecum :
Yeah, exactly what is the temperature of snot, Lu? Is that in degrees Fahrenheit, Celcius or Kelvin? We would have a RIOT if we all got together!!
from lissacakes :
Um, how hot is snot? I venture that snot would bubble on our sidewalks right about now, but no competition! :)
from lissacakes :
I LOVE when you call me pet names!!!! I love to see your little name light up, too. :-)
from vade--mecum :
I am an idiot. I just left you a note on my own notes page!
from sepulkhur :
I'm rooting for ya. Your new writing will be wonderful; now to just get you singing...
from vade--mecum :
No, I am but I was trying to delete some of my older notes from the other diary and spaced and deleted all the notes from the new one! I'm quite ditzy in the morning!
from pixie0323 :
Hello, my dear!
from lissacakes :
Yes, how about all men in general.
from sepulkhur :
I can identify with everything but (of course) the job thing (and I've been there, too!). You should have heard them going at it last night... can't get it out of my head, and it certainly didn't help things... oh no siree bob... (why is everyone having fun except us?)
from lissacakes :
No worries. Gifts are extras, not expected. Your email made me smile. I've received more birthday well-wishes this year than ever before!
from lissacakes :
I heart you, too. 2007 will be revealed on a day in the near future... today, I am much too tired!
from sepulkhur :
Hon, I'm so very proud of you and all the progress you've made! I just want you to know that I *RECOGNIZE* how much healthier you've become these days... and I suppose I'm the only non-professional person qualified to give you that opinion, huh...
from bubaloo :
I love that you said you were going to pray about it. You are so awesome!
from pixie0323 :
Of COURSE we miss you, Love!!! Yes, go get internet. Become very good friends with the computer geeks at the local Best Buy. Sneak into the computer lab and use someone else's password. Just come back!!
from pixie0323 :
Congrats, my wonderful little college grad friend!!! (Oh yeah, and what Liss said!)
from lissacakes :
I sent your package last night. They claim you should get it by Monday. :)
from lissacakes :
He is suddenly thinking that now he will never get to sleep with the wonder that is you. Ugh, they always want what they think they can no longer have. And when they can have it, it's not good enough for them. Fuck them all!
from bubaloo :
KIKI, KIKI! What's your s/n so I can add you to my yahoo friends? I screwed it up when I tried do add you. Pinnochio is alive and well, my little cricket conscience.
from bubaloo :
Hi! I miss ya too, my little jiminy!
from pixie0323 :
I'm glad that you found a place to live. Even if it isn't exactly what you want, you'll be able to save up some money and get things settled. And perhaps the two boys will be a nice addition, eh? A little hallway flirting perhaps? It never hurts to have a little eye candy darting about!
from sepulkhur :
Babe, I'm shocked... SHOCKED and aghast that you would DARE post a positive entry... what were you thinking?!? Next it'll be husband, kids, white picket fence, dog... you better snap out of it girl, or I just won't know who you are anymore... ~lol
from lissacakes :
I will get you something for your room. Yes... that's it, indeed. What colors do you like/ despise? Do you have too much stuff already? Maybe you need organizational kind of stuff? A poverty stricken girl is to take the $10 an hour job because the $12 an hour job in addition to making her unhappy probably won't be long-lasting because it sounds like it bites. And... keep interviewing. If someone likes you, they'll be flexible on interview times. And quit even if you've only been at your job a week, if you find something better. It's too hard out there to think of anyone but yourself.
from pixie0323 :
Thanks Lu. oh, and I'm with Liss. We need new apartment DETAILS!! And job . . . what are you interviewing for?
from lissacakes :
Okay, tell me all about where you're moving. Locale, studio, renting a room, color-scheme (outrageous beige, perhaps!)...
from lissacakes :
Oh, Lu. I just wanted to give some new material to my "fans." I'm having a blast over there. And that is NOT sarcasm. At first it was pissing me off, but if sirensleeps is the caliber of verbal attack... let me cozy up with a laptop and some hot cocoa. I'd like some of your sexy mamacita curves, lady. I was only averagely blessed in the boob department.
from sepulkhur :
so... the "fat girl" doesn't want to see the veg boy... hmmm... lol
from lissacakes :
Now, Lu, you know you are not the "typical" Born Again.
from pixie0323 :
Oh, the crazy things I've done to look good in front of an ex. You are S0 right. There is nothing more important than that. Reversing global warming, curing cancer, etc., these can all be fixed after the ex sees you looking like a hotass. I know exactly what you mean!!
from lissacakes :
If you end up in Phoenix, I'm good for rides and the occasional hot meal (that usually comes from cans and boxes, but oh well). :) I postponed student loan payments for a year after graduation, so at least there's not that to worry about right away. My hair - I like it. It's the wash out stuff - will last 28 or so shampoos - but I'm thinking of doing it for real. It looks natural on me. I am VERRRY fair skinned (ummmm... pale I guess you could say). The ex has been calling shrinks to get over his bullshit to be with me. So, we shall see. I will believe it when I see it.
from pixie0323 :
Lu, it's not your job to do everything. I know that you are used to playing mom, but how about playing sister for a while? Your sister must be 18 or close to it if she's graduating from high school, and if you could get yourself out of high school and into college and through college all on your own, so can she. And even better, she will have you as support as a sister, not as a mother. You can't continue to do everything, can you? I know what it feels like to be that exhausted. It's the most horrible feeling in the world. You've been carrying around everyone else's BS for so long that you don't know how to stop. Well, just drop everything. It really is ok to step back now. You did a wonderful thing by helping them through high school and by putting yourself through school. You can look back at that and smile. But now is the time for YOU. So find a job that pays the bills and rent a tiny place if you have to and sleep when you're not working and go out and have fun on weekends. That is what you're supposed to do right now, so don't feel bad about it.
from pixie0323 :
That took a lot of courage, Lu. Cheers for you.
from pixie0323 :
Ditto on everything that Liss said. The only thing you can and should do is to take care of yourself and do what you believe to be right, what you can live with and what you want to do. There is no way to ever know how someone else is going to react. You have made solid decisions and you should be proud of yourself for standing up for what you believe it. It seems that Pete is just taking everything without thinking about it on his own, and that's not good for anyone, but it's especially not good for you, a woman who is strong in her convictions and knows what is best for her.
from lissacakes :
He's warping Christian love. You don't have to answer to him. He is no "better" than you. He has no right to judge you or anyone else. If he can't love you, it's his loss. He is totally f'd up about sex. I remember you saying his family was a little wacko too, and just hid it behind a bible, so I guess here that is coming out. I really care about you, Courtney. I'm so sorry. I'm glad it's out there though, because you always knew but he finally fessed up. Even if you guys would have waited, he probably would have been weird about intimacy and felt it was wrong somehow to enjoy being with you, because he has issues with sex. You can't help or blame yourself for HIS problems.
from pixie0323 :
So glad to be a source of amusement for you, Lu! :)
from sepulkhur :
So, did the Beth thing blow up or refuse to materialize? Read your entries too, cutie-pie... <the Rev Zeb here>
from hider :
? what has lead you to drinking?
from lissacakes :
Oh, I feel so bad. I don't even remember my brother's birthdays. I'm a horribly selfish person. Pixie's is easy because it is in her name.
from lissacakes :
OH MY! I missed your birthday? :( I thought it wasn't till after mine for some reason. Well, remind me of the date and email me your address asap!
from pixie0323 :
Oh. My. God. I just laughed so hard when I read your entry! Sometimes that just sums it all up, doesn't it?! I'm a big fan of the "You go to hell, sir!" I liked yours too though!
from bubaloo :
I lub you baby! I'm just shot out. Happy b-day, belated I guess. (stumbles over a plant.) ouch.
from pixie0323 :
I'm a couple hours early, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
from pixie0323 :
Thanks Lu! You're the next birthday baby!
from lissacakes :
I was born on a sunny, beautiful June day in 1981. The 20th to be exact. I will soon be 24. I actually am about where I would be lifewise at this stage - except where I used to want to be and where I now want to be are totally different. Oh, and I'm not even thinking about sex until peaches come back in season. Waaaaaaaaa.
from othelladub :
wha' hoppened?
from pixie0323 :
Lu, have I ever told you that you're my hero? That you're everything I wish I could be? How's that for corny!!?! If I had a nickel . . . oh man. There is a creepy bug exterminator guy for our apartment complex and one day he went over to my sister's apartment because she called saying that there were ants, and when he asked why she had ants, she sarcastically said "oh, I guess I'm just sweet" and the guy winked at her and said "I bet you are!" in a creepy voice. So, there must be some code amongst maintainance men and exterminators, etc. Kind of like the Hippocratic Oath, except creepy. "I hereby swear to uphold the truths of the maintainance profession, walk in repeatedly on nude females, make small talk with them, and out of no real necessity, hit something with a hammer so I can come back and try again the next day."
from lissacakes :
Wait, I'm a little slow. Why am I so hilarious? My asparagus outburst? Oh, and also the iron. I freak out about the iron. Sometimes I am hilarious, and sometimes I am a horrible witch. Feel lucky you don't know me in real life. Oh, and soy corn dogs - ick. The good thing about real corn dogs is that the sweetness of the batter is softened by the saltiness of the "dog." The soy dog doesn't have any taste, so the whole thing is just too sweet. And, they are pretty dry, too.
from pixie0323 :
I say damn the man who said that puns were the lowest form of humor!! I love a good and corny pun!
from pixie0323 :
I'm sorry about your test and not getting the job. Things will get better though. Phoenix here we come!! :)
from bubaloo :
Awww, I'm sorry about the job. Don't worry, God has a plan. I have to tell myself this everyday, so I figure I should tell you also.
from zebbie :
Hey there. A certain person has not emailed a certain other person on a certain space acct...
from lissacakes :
September 25, 2005 over here. I had every detail sorted out in my head - except I hated the guy.
from lissacakes :
Looks just how you thought? Hmmm, tall and goofy? Yep, that's him. My favorite picture of him on the website is the one with Gregory Peck's hand prints. Second favorite, blowing a kiss.
from lissacakes :
I always thought of myself as more of the Fall wedding type. Well, if you move to Phoenix, we can have the ceremony in Sedona??? El Toro and I, in the alternate universe where we would ever get married (and I refer to it that way in conversation), are getting married in Patagonia, so that's taken.
from lissacakes :
Do you know where in Phoenix? Is it for grad school? And about your comments on the picture diary... will you marry me?
from bubaloo :
Ok, here ya go! Happy Valentine's day! 1. Who am I to you? A wooden boy 2. Who are you to me? A nagging cricket! (lol) 3. Have we Hugged? Not physically, but many times emotionally. 4. Kissed? You wish! ha! 5. GASP....had Sex? LOL... Me? Sex? I'm not that kind of boy! 6. Feel free to fantasize: (hahah) I won't even go there. You might delete me. 7. What do you miss about me? Speaking in my shitty spanish to you. 9. What do I miss about you? Someone to keep you entertained when you are working late at night. 10. Will we always be Friends? Lovers? Enemies? We will always be friends. Because A. I would ruin you for all other men if we were lovers, and B. I wouldn't wish myself on my worst enemy! lol
from othelladub :
jude law, eh?
from zebbie :
Well Kat, it doesn't sound like you've been having one of your trademark good times recently... I'm sorry to hear that. I won't preach on this point, but I will point out that you are definitely reaching that breaking point... I think I *do* agree... your poor therapist!
from pixie0323 :
I agree that pot is not good. I smoked pot when I was with H, and some before that. It only makes people stupid and lazy in reality. Well, you'd giggle a little bit, or a lot, too, but that's really it. So just follow your own advice on that one. Oh, and I think it's so funny that you added Closer as one of your favorite movies because I was going to add that one too! There we go, thinking with the same brain again! Wasn't that the best movie? I mean, aside from Jude Law being the sexiest man ever (I mean . . . him with the glasses, hello!!!!). I've seen it twice now and I just love that even after the second one I was just blown away and I immediately wanted to watch it again.
from bubaloo :
Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do? Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do? Subtle innuendos follow... The way you are feeling right now is why I do what I do. I'm weak and want immediate gratification. I wouldn't smoke pot either though. Pot is for stupid people.
from pixie0323 :
Yay!! Good job!
from pixie0323 :
Lu, you're so funny! I hope your interview goes well and that you get that RA position! (oh, and that you get your coffee and cigarette . . . the breakfast of champions. Although you know you have to mix it up occasionally and go with the Diet Coke/ciggy combination even though it's usually reserved for brunch!)
from bubaloo :
I love Van Morrison. I'm bummed that you aren't feeling well.
from zebbie :
well kitten, i finally read your entries... feel like staring into the abyss for a while and waiting for God to show up...?
from lissacakes :
Jude Law is the perfect, skinny little man. Just the way I like them: lanky, shaggy, artsy, unkempt. I remember waiting impatiently since high school for his cute little ass to get divorced. YES! He's just got a girlfriend, and we'll get that skinny little (cough-cough) actress out of the picture even if we have to call in some favors.
from pixie0323 :
Oh, and ditto on Lissa's Jude Law comment! The only way to describe him is yummy. Well, sex on a stick would work too. He's delicious.
from pixie0323 :
Sorry you're feelin' so crappy, Lu. When I have those feelings like I'll never find someone that will want to marry me, I console myself with the fact that if so many ugly people are getting married, we sure as hell can too! (Really -- there are some ugly bastards out there picking out wedding dresses!) It will happen for you when the time is right and everything will calm down and you will have everything you've ever desired!
from bubaloo :
unfortunately, sometimes the right decisions are the most painful. I'm not talking about me. I always take the easy way out. You are awesome.
from lissacakes :
A million babies?! How many do you really want? Oh, I just read over your profile. I'd love me a night, no a week, no a decade alone with Jude Law. YUM.
from pixie0323 :
Hey! I don't know what's happening with the password thing, so I put in a new one for you and it should get emailed to the marnilou@hotmail address. If you don't get it let me know.
from bubaloo :
I think that sometimes you have to stand in one place, look real hard, and realize that you are already there. The carrots are there just to keep you moving. Oh, here's my book recommendation fro you. Illusions by Richard Bach. Don't listen to me. I'm an old poop head.
from lissacakes :
That's not a half bad idea. I don't mind travelling to Vermont (but let's wait till Spring), and I think I could switch to girls pretty easily.
from lissacakes :
Nice to see you... yeah, it is very strange to stop and think that you're officially a "grown up" however young you may still feel. I feel like I'm at summer camp, because they all couldn't possibly have left me to my own devices, could they?
from bubaloo :
Don't we all.....
from pixie0323 :
Yay! You're back!
from bubaloo :
OOOOOOOH, you're back! yay! Maybe I will be forced to answer your questions now...lol
from othelladub :
Currently > Movies: Igby Goes Down, Love Actually, The Barbarian Invasions Books: Blankets (graphic novel, by Craig Thompson), On Writing (Stephen King) Music: the new U2 cd, esp. the single, "Sometimes you can't make it on your own"
from girlslife :
In response to your questions- Movie: The Magdalene Sisters Book: Locas In Love by Jaime Hernandez Album: Antics by Interpol My questions for you- Where do you go to school? What is your astrological sign? What are your views on mainating a public "diary"?
from pixie0323 :
Book: Hallucinating Foucault by Patricia Duncker. Movie: Thirteen. Album: Discography by the Pet Shop Boys. Questions: Who has been the single most important influence in your life? Was there one specific goal you had when you were little and did you accomplish it or leave it behind? Do you think that there is one perfect person for eveyrone? My answers to yours will be in my diary!
from lissacakes :
I posted my response to your note.
from pixie0323 :
Thanks lulu! Hope your semester's winding up nicely. Oh, and have fun slinging coffee. At least even if the pay isn't great, you get a free coffee fix, right?!
from zebbie :
BLAH right back atcha... <hug>
from zebbie :
Kitten, you've given me some food for thought. Not sure I agree with you yet, but it does seem to make your much more dramatic life more livable (it seems) than my far less dramatic one. The goal here is to have more in common with you than just misery... but how, that's a different question and a far longer journey...
from bubaloo :
Hey sweetie! Sorry to hear about your friend's mom. That must be an insane thing to go through. I lost my mom but not like that. You are truly a good friend being there.
from lissacakes :
Wow, that really puts all of my "problems" into perspective. I'm sorry for your friend, but I am relieved that it wasn't even closer to home for you.
from pixie0323 :
Hope your interview went well!
from zebbie :
hello heathen... see you soon (w/a surprise!)
from bubaloo :
Happy Thanksgiving, honey bunny! I like my Mick Jagger description, that's good. LOL I'm grateful that you care enough about me to tell me things that I don't want to always hear. Not that I'm going to listen, but thank you for caring. You are awesome!
from pixie0323 :
Happy Fuckin' Thanksgiving to you too Lulu! Did I mention that I absolutely fuckin' love you?! Have a good weekend sweetie! Hope you get some time away from classes!
from zebbie :
yes, "more than lonely" sucks, particularly when others who want to see you are "more than asleep" - but I'll be seeing you real soon...
from bubaloo :
I hate feeling like that. I've been looking for you online but I haven't seen you. :(
from pixie0323 :
I hope you feel better lulu! Damned speech instructors! Who do they think they are?!
from zebbie :
oh kitten... i wish there was more i could do... i wish i could let you sleep forever, until you could woke up and found this all to be a bad dream... but for now, all i can do is let you continue to sleep on my pillow here on this oh-so-uncomfortable bed, where you doze lightly even as i write this...
from bubaloo :
Oh, I've seen your pictures. You don't have to work that hard. You are beautiful!
from zebbie :
read your list of things you've done, marked with a *** - it was, uhm, interesting... especially: 10. Done a striptease(***) 31. Asked out a stranger (***) 36. Enacted a favorite fantasy (***) 37. Taken a midnight skinny dip(***) 43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days(***) 47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment(***) 53. Had amazing friends(***) 64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love(***) 67. Bench pressed your own weight (***) 73. Posed nude in front of strangers(***)not on purpose, but oh well 82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your diary has discovered your diary (***) 97. Gone without food for 5 days (***) 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on(***) 106. Masturbated in a public place (***)okay, so it wasn't EXACTLY in public, but I think this question is funny. 113. Had a one-night stand(***) 119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off(***) 171. Had your picture in the newspaper(***) 173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about(***) 180. Read The Iliad(***) 200. Been arrested (***) Young lady, we're going to have to have a frank discussion in the near future... <grin>
from pixie0323 :
Oh lulu . . . I'm sorry. But lissa's right. You got something good out of it. And you'll remember him fondly forever. I know it's never fun, but at least you know that you did the best thing.
from lissacakes :
I'm so sorry... I'm glad he touched you. I'm glad it was overall a positive thing.
from pixie0323 :
Oh yeah . . . update more, you biotch! :)
from pixie0323 :
Thank you lulu! That's always nice to hear!
from bubaloo :
Hey sweetie, I'm not avoiding you. It's that other bitch! lol Seriously, what happens is when I turn my computer on it loads automatically and I just click it off. The only people I ever talk to on there are you and #1. Since I never see either of ya anymore I don't even look. I will look next time. Miss you, hope that you are doing well.
from lissacakes :
Miss ya, miss ya.
from zebbie :
Glad to see you the other day. We still need to have an uninterrupted face-to-face. It's very important. Unfortunately, life does not give us much time, does it? If our youth only lasted some 20yrs longer, it'd be easier (till we dreamed up more crap to cram in there).
from bubaloo :
Thanks for the sweet comment the other night. What's PTSD? It doesn't sound so good...
from zebbie :
Kitty, you're right; he IS crazy to be involved with you. He makes my desire for no conlfict seem plebeian in comparison... and at least I can *take* a little bit of heat...
from pixie0323 :
Did you see Jon Cryer on Leno the other night?
from hider :
oh my dear what are we going to do with you.
from bubaloo :
Lulublu's in love! And updating! wow! What a volatile mix you are. He must have his hands full. Go easy on him, I'm sure that he is just a mere mortal man.
from zebbie :
Hi Kitty. Whenever you see this, know that I look forward to your new posts and have enjoyed the time we've spent together this year. Also know, no matter what I say, it gives me great joy to see you happy in Neverland once more...
from pixie0323 :
Hey there, my dear! Thanks for the note. Where have you been? You're reading but not updating? What is that!?! Just kidding. I just saw that you had The Go Go's on your faves list, and whenever I think of them I think of that song "Head Over Heels" which is one of my all time favorite songs. Imagine me spinning around at about 8 years old like a crazy woman (or at 22, dancing like a crazy woman)! Sorry, I was a strange little child. Anyways, enough of that nonsense. Hope you had a good weekend!
from bubaloo :
Hey you! Thanks for the offer of beating her up. Bah, not even worth it. Hope you are doing well...
from lissacakes :
Thanx. What can I say? I'm an angry girl.
from pixie0323 :
Yay! I'm so glad you're back! And damn those latte-pushing bastards! :)
from pixie0323 :
Hey girl! I sent you a new password, so let's see if that one works! I sent it to your hotmail account. Leave me a note or email me and let me know that you got it and it works, ok?
from lissacakes :
Kind of blah. Hanging in there, I suppose. I'm going to go root out your new myspace pictures!
from bubaloo :
Hey! So that was a pic of your boyfriend on myspace? Very nice! Loved your pics and good to know that you are surving up in hell A. You got to see X? I'm so jealous.....
from lissacakes :
You sound either really sad or really busy. I hope it's busy!
from bubaloo :
mmmmm! you sound tasty!
from lissacakes :
I had to look up doppledanger.
from bubaloo :
So glad you are back. Lissa has been cracking me up lately, tell her to get a mop! And your comment about me on your profile? Nothing could be more perfect, thanks!
from pixie0323 :
LULU!!! Hey girl! Of course we missed you! My diary's all locked up, but I sent you an email. If you didn't get it, leave me a note and I'll send it to ya!
from lissacakes :
OMG. I peed my pants. Then, it seeped through to the couch. Some trickled on to the floor. Please please email me to get your username and password to my diary if you didn't get the automated email. You're back. Yay.
from bubaloo :
Yay!!!! I'm so glad you're back!
from bubaloo :
How do you know that I WANT to read your other journal? (going to wake lissa up to get the address!) It's so good to hear that you are doing well, I'm ok over here myself. It's just so good to hear from ya! bye!
from lissacakes :
I'm exhausted. Really. I am so overly verbal. Even if someone won't tell me what's going on, I need to hear excuses. I just need some noise. ... I am jealous of your tan. I am quite pale. On my new patio, at my new apartment, I will do a bit of sunbathing.
from bubaloo :
Miss ya!
from ashesraven :
i read that as i'll poop when ever i can, i didn't understand how leaving school could affect your digestion. have a great summer hun
from bubaloo :
I miss you....sigh, hope everything is going well.
from bubaloo :
That was totally sweet, you deserved it. I'm glad that the people in your life appreciate you for the wonderful person that you are. Good luck!
from hider :
kisses luv
from bubaloo :
Indian Giver! That really sucks, You have been having a rough week. Hang in there sweetie, It will get better. Hugs~~bub
from zebbie :
Holy fuckin' shit, you mean he actually DID IT? WTF?!? Oh hon, I'm so sorry... so what are you going to do? Any prospects? Man, that just SUCKS...!
from pixie0323 :
thanks for the note. it's nice to know that i have people on my side! yeah, i've decided that people can be really shitty. i'm sorry you're going through hard times. before we know it though, we'll have awesome people in our lives and we'll both graduate and everything will be awesome! :) (the damned optimist in me refuses to die!)
from lissacakes :
yes.agreed.
from zebbie :
I like the new look on your entries and hey, since when do you wax rhapsodic on true love and the meaning of life? You're startin' to worry me here when *your* entry resembles a fuckin' Hallmark card... but hey, if you mean it, then I wish you the best in it...
from lissacakes :
I hope your absence isn't because your computer has been stripped away from you already! Miss ya!
from lissacakes :
I was totally in "this is bullshit" mode, too, but somehow controlled most of my snide remarks over the weekend. I finally found out WHY and finally was kissed on Sunday night!
from ashesraven :
LOVE, love for the sake of the beuaty of love; live and know your life is an act of love. you must do this because you are loved.
from zebbie :
oh hon, i am so GLAD TO HEAR THAT!!! I am sure you will get this piddling detail called MONEY under control soon... <ick> 3 major projects due Monday... aaagggghhhh! (somebody bring me a knife to slit my wrists now, it'll hurt less than this!) ...again, congrats on housing, i hold it as a sign of strength to "do what it takes" to get what you need...
from bubaloo :
Glad to hear you have housing. Housing is good. I had this big giant cardboard box from my friend's 65 inch t.v. set that I was personally going to use as my new manufactured home, but I would have been more than willing to share it with you. Well, you have half the battle taken care of, and it sure didn't seem that way yesterday, so...who knows, when I get my rosary tattoo tomorrow I will say one for ya! bye!
from lissacakes :
I will light candles and rub worry dolls for you! I'm sorry! Too much stress!
from zebbie :
HOLY SHIT! Are you fucking serious! OMG!!!! (that's it; let's all just have a mass suicide service for the last chapel of the year...)
from lissacakes :
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. You are much too smart to not finish. How about Unsubsidized Sallie Mae loans? Just for one year so that you can finish. That's what I had to do for three years and though I am now swimming in debt, I don't think there was another way.
from bubaloo :
That does suck! Hang in there, sweetie, you are going to be just fine....
from girlslife :
oh my god, I am so fucking sorry because that really blows. speaking as someone who filed late and was lucky to get any free monies at all, and had to borrow most. beg, borrow, steal, at his moment I weep for you.
from bubaloo :
ummm, if I were you I would avoid veggie boy for oh, I don't know, say the next month and a half, and just keep that mo' fo'! Screw him, I guess I'm not so jiminy...lol, I am the devil on your shoulder...rofl
from lissacakes :
I'd just like to say ditto on your last two notes. Taking back a present! How does he do that like it's nothing... not even explain himself?
from zebbie :
the whole comp thing is fucked up girl (not to say the veg boy and KA things aren't); hope the test goes okay (at least better than the aforementioned)
from bubaloo :
What a shithead veggie boy is, worse than el gatto or H. First thing he says is he wants the computer back he GAVE you for x-mas? And then tries to block your play all night? ugh...sounds like me!! rofl
from lissacakes :
aw, that's the next best thing to bein' there. yay, pix left you a note, now we can be a big happy foursome. ok, that was lame. i know, but it's early and i'm sexually frustrated, so that's my excuse. veg boy is insane... you prob looked so hot that he couldn't think... perhaps he deserves a little slack on that account.
from pixie0323 :
i was leaving lissa a note and i saw that you were at the same place at the same time with JON CRYER! ohhhh . . . i'm so jealous! i used to have the HUGEST crush on him and of course everyone thought i was completely nuts. and talking to damien . . . oh . . . i wouldn't even be able to keep my balance if he said one word to me!
from lissacakes :
sooooooooooooo unbelievably, incredibly jealous. you've got to belt out "you've got a body like a battle axe," then cry hysterically and faint in my honor. :) have fun!!!!!!!!!!!
from bubaloo :
ok, song specifically for you, going to work now.... damn goddesses always got you workin'...lol
from zebbie :
hey kitty girl i read your entries and i hope things are well with you ...m'kay?
from bubaloo :
So you're right, smartypants Jiminy Cricket! Now what would I have to do to get paid? Please, go into specific detail, we are all waiting... ;/
from lissacakes :
First, mad cow disease...ofcourse!...you are brilliant. Second, I am shocked and pleasantly bemused that you go to a "conservative Christian university." Third, I <3 fake mohawks, don't even like the real ones...yumma...yumma...yum. And finally, like the cocaine line part. That's all my comments for now. Be back for more, later.
from lissacakes :
I agree. Don't know what I'm gonna do about it, but I agree.
from othelladub :
my cousin! my cousin!! cool that you like it, though ;)
from bubaloo :
Just came to worship the goddess...lol, you are, you rock! lates!
from lissacakes :
Like the part where you say "a favorite on the radio" then "(sweet car-o-line)" I like how you hyphenate it so we get the rhythm right. Thanks for my note, fellow goddess.
from bubaloo :
He is 1 month old, and handsome and intelligent as well.
from bubaloo :
Ooooh, I liked that, Courtney! That was good, happy Easter to you too, my little Jiminy!!!!
from lissacakes :
What's that thar note from Bub about? You and bub talkin' smack about me? Anyway... yes, I'm sure we'd like to see you post your poem, but if you don't wanna share, it's up to you. Just don't not post it cuz you think it's bad. I doubt that's the case! I do love Waiting for Godot, and The Stranger, and all that other "existence is meaningless" stuff twenty-somethings are supposed to like. :)
from bubaloo :
Post it!
from zebbie :
I like your Summer idea, I truly do. I hope you can stick to such a brave and dedicated plan, but here's hoping... I suppose I should post, go see some sunlight, and work till the lab closes at midnight. God, how do married, working people become grad students? My wife would leave me on this point alone (let alone the others) and my job would fire me... ...but anyway, I hope your Summer plans work. If there was ever a girl who deserve a quiet, relaxing Summer, it's you girl... much amor, hermano numero dos...
from bubaloo :
6. Going to see bub and give him the therapy he so richly deserves. Oh, and lissa, she's busy harrasing me all the time! But it's not so bad....lol
from lissacakes :
What's up over there? You've been quiet. We miss you :)
from zebbie :
Hey girl. Feeling a little bit more normal for a change. In light of a recent entry, let's do something about your lack of a life, no? Like, perhaps, game night with some FRIENDS this Friday? Melissa's gonna cook for us, and Mike (Swedish), a friend of Amy's (she can't come) and yes, Peter Pan and Alejandro. You are invited, my dearest sister, to play Uno and Scrabble and so forth and just have a good time for free... I know you have graveyard, so som'n will have to be worked out of course... lemme know, 'k? (the stress is just about ready to kill all of us these days, no?) <grin>
from bubaloo :
Would you do that? Dress up in a little... ahhh, never mind! lol You better be careful, you are putting your head right into the mouth of a lion! lol
from lissacakes :
That (who shot J.R.) will not be revealed until the special, two-part finale.
from lissacakes :
There's nothing wrong with you. I myself like smart asses, jack asses, almost any kind of ass out there. I'm so glad you are writing again. Write. Write. Write. Read a ton. Emulate people, but try to write better than them. I can't process poems on the computer screen. I'm going to print it out to mull over later.
from bubaloo :
First off, saying "aye papi!" to me is just not fair at all, and second, "Marco!!!!"
from rock-a-betty :
Thanx for the good wishes. : )
from lissacakes :
My social life seems to come in stops and starts. I bet yours will pick up, particularly over the summer. Are you going to school over the summer, too?
from bubaloo :
pinnochio? how's that joke go? Something about a girl sitting on pinnochio's face and her screaming, "lie to me! lie to me!" that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, girl!!!!!
from zebbie :
txh for making sure i'm not dead... yet. pretty frickin' close, i gotta say...
from zebbie :
(1) what the HELL was that last entry about? (2) I'm an "artist"? (all-these-ppl-are-artists) ...how do you figure?
from lissacakes :
Oh, look, I helped make a match (Mr. Bub). :) Ok Go - check. Lauryn Hill - check. Cream - check. Jeff Buckley - already on wish list. Cowboy Junkies - oh, yeah shoulda been on wish list. The rest, I will give a go. Thanks.
from bubaloo :
yeah, I seem to have that effect on people. Just don't leave me in a casino with no way to get home! Please!
from bubaloo :
hi, I see ya writing to lissa all the time, so I decided to check out your diary, you are very funny, or maybe you have a good outlook on the craziness that goes around you. If ya don't mind I'll add ya to my faves! Even if ya do, I'm going to do it anyway! lol bye!
from lissacakes :
On the emotional thing... I totally agree. If you are not emotional, what are you doing? Are you living? But other people have this way of making you feel like you shouldn't be, and sometimes you forget that no, they are wrong.
from meganwaits :
I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets these hot and cold guys. At least you know all the sides of Veg boy.
from zebbie :
Well girl, what can i say that's not been said? What could I say that would make a difference. Not a whole lot. If it's any comfort to you, my life is becoming a living hell as well, so at least you have company down here...
from meganwaits :
So your birthday wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Hope you have a brand new year of adventure and wealth.
from lissacakes :
Okay, they did take you out already, so they are off the hook on that. The family and Veg, however, are not. And, anyway, they should have paid for your ice cream so you could go. It IS your birthday. Other days, perhaps not, as everyone is broke, but your birthday? I woulda bought you a big banana split... perhaps shared mine. I so want a banana split now.
from lissacakes :
Yes, I know you are right. I just feel something from him. I don't know what exactly it is. I think after we go on our first weekend trip in a couple of weeks, I'll have a better idea if it's totally just friends or not. Then, I will have to start slowly unwinding myself.
from ashesraven :
another year strong, happy birthday love. enjoy it!
from lissacakes :
happy birfday!
from chinariquena :
bahaha.. why does it make you smile when i use ubbery as an adjective? xD
from lissacakes :
like the new profile. i love cream. white room is awesome.
from lissacakes :
Ditto! Is it your birthday yet, or are they anxious well-wishers?
from dylanwashere :
Happy Birthday! See, you're wiser. Maybe. Well, good luck on all that drama stuff.
from zebbie :
Hey girl. Happy b-day and all, ya know? Good luck...
from lissacakes :
El Toro is also a vegetarian. I'm not abandoning the vegetable truck yet, but I understand its frustrations!
from lissacakes :
You should read this one entry called "Swirly Sensitive Tattoo Boy" by Kittyspy! It's on my list of favorite entries. Snarky is one of the most wonderful words.
from lissacakes :
target is a dangerous place. i got the cutest bathing suit there, and since i don't have a pool, i am wearing it around the house. and because of target, i have like three times the amount of underwear that a person could possibly need.
from lissacakes :
Cool. Where are you thinking of checking out in Phoenix? I love it here. Funny because for the first two years, I couldn't wait to get the hell out. May will be uber-hot, so bring lots of little tank tops!
from lissacakes :
That is my favorite section of the Love Mart, but something is wrong with my cart. I try to put them in and they fall out the bottom and I accidentally run them over.
from ashesraven :
i just bought the cutest pair of shoes they a really uncomfortable but i like them anyway i'm wearing them at work as i am typing this for a matter of fact and i have no intent on tacking them back or changing them for flats what this is going to do some slight damage to my feet i know but the great feeling i get when i have on these cute little shoes is worth it in the long run....you just have to figure out if the pleasure is worth the pain..it's like that with all purchases, get it hun?
from lissacakes :
I just read a bunch more of your diary, and its so weird because you say so many things how I say them. That's always weird, when you're like... this seems vaguely familiar. Oh, yes I said that yesterday!
from lissacakes :
Is your "J" this vege boy I'm reading about? I am confused. Well, it seems that perhaps you have at least had some questionable activities with him. I just have questionable ideas so far! And questionable dialogue.
from iranaden :
new york and the deep deep comfortable burrows of depression. but i think im better now. and im around, kinda, from now on.
from ashesraven :
i got half way to canada and realised i'm to fucking bitchy to give in to running away took a peterpan bus back into the city and have settled under the weight of my existance once again
from ashesraven :
i hope you're better than you were yesterday today, i don't think that i'm going to be around for a while. here's hoping next time i see you life is well for us both.
from ashesraven :
i hope you're better than you were yesterday today, i don't think that i'm going to be around for a while. here's hoping next time i see you life is well for us both.
from ienjoycorks :
and you are officially one of Life's Winners
from ienjoycorks :
"... to liiive." - The Carpenters
from zebbie :
hey girl, i'd say "hang in there" (oh, and drink water and take vitamins), but perhaps at this stage, letting go might be best, while you still have a semi-safe environment and support system with which to do so... (oh, the terror!)
from zebbie :
Honey, your alter-ego doesn't allow for notes... I was gonna leave a doozy, and then <pop!> there was no option for it... great entry, though... perhaps the most coherent history of yourself I've read to date...
from ashesraven :
damnit i'm really not this dence you don't have to answer that
from ashesraven :
whos diary is that?
from zebbie :
[from Polly Burokas at www.thehoya.com/viewpoint/020703/view2.cfm] "When Valentine’s Day rolls around each year, you somehow feel as though the entire universe has paired up, and you are the only one left behind, watching from the sidelines. You brush it off, pretend it doesn’t bother you. But when you come across a couple laughing together as they walk arm in arm, you fight the urge to push them down the stairs. The whole world is playing some sick, sadistic joke on you. You wish, hope, and search for someone, somewhere, and somehow. The days pass by and the Feb. 14ths come and go. But, the irony is that, all the while, somehow there is someone somewhere wishing, hoping, and searching for you."
from zebbie :
ON V-DAY: I disbelieve, on some level, in the existence of things like love and happiness and joy ...not really, but I'm just really frustrated at their deeply transitory nature. I mean, love visits; depression fuckin' moves in and pays rent, motherfucker. Or, to put it more poetically, the bones in the graveyard I can touch; how do I touch love?
from zebbie :
hey kitty, it's snuffy ... so, I'm "a quality human being," huh? Yes, I know it's dangerous for my ego to know that, but my self-worth needs every little bit it can get... a bit like keeping your cat from eating your meal, but making sure he gets fed, too... But, anyway, major suckage on veggie boy of course, and now carlito, too. And now v-day approaches. How did we end up not having a romantic affiliation? I ask myself that sometimes ...not in a "I regret" fashion, but just in a "I am a male, right?" fashion. I sometimes do wonder howcome you're not more masculine and I'm not more feminine than we already are. Weird, no? Talked with my person this week, and man, I really do sound like a basket case. Trying to explain the nature of the problem here, the map of the territory to cover, so to speak, and it just keeps sounding worse and worse as the explanations come out of my mouth. Writing a bit of poetry, aren't we? Sheez woman, we'll make a Fiona Apple / Alanis Morrissette / whatserface with the "hope is a feathered bird inside" woman outta you yet! I like the poetry, mind you, but why you gotta make me work so hard at it? I'll make you a deal: I'll write some densely-packed, deeply-enigmatic and uber-meaningful poem that's like, five words long, if you'll write me a 5-page poem on like, one thing. Deal? Snuffy/Zebbie
from zebbie :
i found you ...hope you're still sane, doll.
from othelladub :
what's up, fool?

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