messages to magnifika:
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from raven72d :
"Sunsetting" is a lovely entry.
from jaysthoughts :
Just checking to see how many diarylanders still actually check their notes and stay active.
from non-descript :
I"ve been looking for you, too. Wonder if our quests will ever converge. I'd like them to.
from fuschia :
I don't know when it ever stops. Maybe we just learn to live with it, to tuck it away. I am not ready for a sexual relationship, either. I have been waking up with someone most days and keeping company yet I know they want more, and I can't provide it. I'll know when I'm ready, as will you. I wish you the best.
from fuschia :
are you doing okay?
from fuschia :
it is really really good to read your writing again.
from fuschia :
oops i forgot today was the 7th, not the 5th.
from fuschia :
WOW. your latest entry (9/5) was amazing.
from fuschia :
"how many chances does someone give someone else to break their heart?" it's hard to let people go, isnt it?
from fuschia :
now, isn't it weird how that happens?
from fuschia :
i feel exactly like your first few sentences in your latest entry. i can't understand who i am right now anymore, either. i think back to how i used to feel, and think, and write. and yes i was younger (circa 2004, maybe) but when i try to make the connection to then and now i get lost. "and i wish i could blame him for this, but i can't. each thing, our own (un)doing." i am going through some strange viewing of everything collapsing, some fire that burns throughout everything once familiar. feeling like you are watching a tv in an empty house, alone, and what is on the tv is your life and lack of. i wish i could be there to hold your hand and let you talk to me.
from kraven :
*that* from the gal who still thinks I'm von VA. Besides, of course I think. The whole world is nothing but inside my head. When I "sleep" here, I'm really awake. Why do you think I try to sleep so damn much? I'd rather not be here.
from kraven :
The funny thing is.. you actually think that you're thinking. I'd have thought you'd have caught onto that by now! ;)
from fuschia :
your most recent entry is hauntingly familiar to me. i am sorry. i wish you less hurt and more love. let's leave notes more often.
from fuschia :
nope... i'm against myspace :(
from kraven :
now, to be honest, i may not be _the_ best.. but i'd be pretty damn good. well, unless you've got a lot of glass sliding doors or glass french doors.. and you keep the glass really clean. i'm kinda apted just to walk right into the glass to be honest.... other than that, i'm really very good -- provided the doors are clearly labeled as to if they open "in" or "out". yep, other than those two things, i really think i'd be jim dandy good at being a bulter.
from kraven :
wtf are you doing hanging out with such famous folk!? just how connected are you? as for me, no.. no taxes yet. i doubt you need a person tax person, well.. unless you're being connected means you're stuffed with cash -- and in, that case, can i be your butler? i've always wanted to be a butler. i'm wicked, wicked good at opening doors. really. i am.
from kraven :
what be.. being your email?
from kraven :
yes, yes, yes, I read all about the new england trip.. but you didn't cover the most bit of details -- how were the beans!?
from fuschia :
hey, i dont' know if you still check livejournal, but please do. you're still on my friends list so you have access to everything i write, but i post a lot of pictures that i think you'd like. <3
from fuschia :
i love the way you write
from fuschia :
the pixies concert was the best concert of my life...
from fuschia :
hey :) it's so good to hear from you. i enjoyed your note. i agree about the cool weather. i like it. i like putting on scarves and being able to wear jeans without overheating while walking around. to warm up i play frisbee in the park and lay in the sun. my cat picks up his leash and meows at me sometimes like a dog, standing next to the door. it's raining right now otherwise i'd be out. spending time outside makes the time indoors that much more stifling. i want to go outside as much as i can now while the bees are still under control, the sun is kinder, and the trees are still blossoming in the cool breeze. i'm lucky to live where i live because we have so much land. a nice big front yard, a backyard with about an acre of forest with a huge ravine. sometimes deer are camping out at the bottom. i like this place a lot, despite its 'out in the boonies' label and the fact that it's a good 10 minutes away from the nearest restaurant. my father is talking lately about moving us all into a condo. a condo! after being here all of my life. the mere thought of that just sends shivers up my spine. i guess if it ever happened i'd force myself to have a buddhist mentality about it all and say that less is more; that i don't need a huge house and all of this land. i would just be in denial.
from heartshaped :
hey you.
from fuschia :
mmm. well this was all vegan. so it wasn't really.. cheesecake. but it sure tried to be. haha. i've always wanted cheesecake factory and they're going to open one soon here. the problem is that i just turned vegan again, bad timing! and the horrible part is that my family is good friends with the people who started it all. so we'd get in free and get a bunch of cheesecake and everything. woe is me! do you still have an lj? you should update that!
from fuschia :
i'm glad you're ok
from fuschia :
what job!? update your lj! i miss you -very- much. and i wear scarves all the time. my boyfriend has taken to poking fun at me for wearing a short skirt but a long scarf with it. keep in touch!!
from kraven :
i lost your email. yes, i'm bad. but.. but, i did something good! go to: www.writing.com/authors/kraven - i put up stories! actaully written, posted and looking for reviews! anywho, hope all is good.. and perhaps we'll meet up online again. K
from sunnflower :
It sounds like fun meeting Richard Simmons. I've always thought he seemed like a nice/sincere individual and certainly unique.
from fuschia :
i need you
from fuschia :
oh, i only smoked for 3 months and i stopped 4 days ago cold turkey. never was addicted. thank god. i'll write more to you later
from sunnflower :
You haven't updated in awhile. Hope all is well.
from fuschia :
no, in fact you're the only person who gives me worthy advice. no one else understands and now i feel really shitty for everything i've done. i dont know if i like the person i am now. but stupid anonymous comments dont make anything better and i feel like i just need to start over. don't worry i'm still writing in this, i just.. can't be as detailed as i have been, i guess.
from pearlspill :
Hey you know... "Oh I do believe, if you don't like things you leave. Go someplace you've never been before..." And who knows... symbols... reminders... that Ani lyric "we never say what we could so we can say later oh you misunderstood." A whole ambiguous trip. So maybe you remind yourself what you meant, knowing everythings been said except what you meant to say. And maybe you never need to make sure you meant anything more than that, it was just how you were, how you are now where are we all going ??
from pearlspill :
that quote you quoted me as was stevenson, it's used in "waking life" the movie and the password should be the same! so yeah.. not me..
from pearlspill :
oops if you can delete that now that you know. cheerio! i have certain DEEPLY ROOTED paranoias.
from kraven :
why are we talking in notes? i don't know! k von everywhere indeed! soon i'll have resided in 5 states - that's 1/10th of the union! how far from the beach? well, i'm guessing with traffic maybe an hour, probably less. i'm not sure exactly.
from soulsurvivor :
i see youre a fan of indianlover and msj. we have to get her to start posting again!
from fuschia :
no. its all good. i love you caring about me. and you seriously are the only one keeping tabs on this sitation. i dont know, i thought more people would be writing to me about it. i guess not. anyway. thank you.
from fuschia :
thanks :) im sorry about your grandma. *** and i can never let him go.
from fuschia :
actually. whats your email address? i got one
from fuschia :
i dont have a code yet! its been a week.. sigh. dunno when i can get one. but when i do, i'll give it to you.
from fuschia :
yeah its been.. forever since ive seen all about my mother. ive only seen it that one time, and i forget when that was. all i know is that immediately after seeing it i deemed it my favourite movie - but i cant remember WHY i did that. all i remember it being was simply remarkable. i'll have to watch it again to regain the feeling.
from kraven :
What, I'm not good enough for email?? Oh, go read "The Story of B". It's better. I'm trying to sort out what, if anything, I'm going to do and going to IUP kinda came up. To be honest, I've no idea at all what I want to do or am going to do...
from fuschia :
yes! send me the link to the recipe. i made really good banana bread from this recipe: http://veganchallenge.org/recipes/breadsandmuffins/59/ i dont know if you like bananas but yeah, that is a cute site.
from kraven :
"Ishmael" is the best? Did you read it because of me? "The story of B" is better. Think of "Ishmael" as the primer and "The story of B" as the indepth review of our culture. I'm soon to read the next in the series, "My Ishmael", which I understand is pretty spiffy as well. All books of course by Daniel Quinn.
from fuschia :
thank you ever so. you are so nice to me.
from heartshaped :
i'm sorry i can't help you i cannot keep you safe i'm sorry i can't help myself. so don't look at me that way. we can't fight gravity on a planet that insists. that love is like falling...
from fuschia :
during the summer i was going to read white oleander but i ran out of time. so i have no comparison to go by for if the movie was like the book. i know that sarah (yoho.diaryland.com - locked) said that the movie sucked compared to the book and that she wouldn't have known what was going on if she hadn't read it before. i knew what was going on, and i knew nothing really about it before i watched it.. so.. yeah. it was great acting, but i can't really help you much. you should read some reviews on it perhaps at movies.yahoo.com
from rubery :
Thanks for the note... I think. I don't know what you mean when you call me fruity... If you didn't say that you were a "compatriot" I'd think that you were American and that it had an entirely different meaning over there... As it is you're calling me gay... Not that there's anything wrong with that... And Aimee Mann's never recorded a song called "Stay". You thinknig of "Save Me" possibly? or someone else entirely? aAnd if it weren't enough that I spend the whole note sounding like a whiny nit picking pedant I now realise that this is a not so everything will be left alligned and nasty looking. Ah well. Please visit me again soon...
from valida :
thanks. :) glad you liked the mail. and glad you're back. <3
from fuschia :
i am in ann arbor, michigan. my friend and her mom and brother always go to cedar point, but their old car won't be able to sustain the two hour ride this year, so my mom will take us. that is, if my dad permits me to skip a day of school. we could go on the weekend, but we would only have like one hour of short lines in the morning. and we definetely are not going in june, because that's when everyone else is there. i'm really anxious right now because i really want to go, i've never been before, and i can't stop thinking about what would happen if we couldn't go for some reason. i hate thinking so much.
from valida :
glad you're back... it's actually somewhat chilly. average temp 1s 65, i think. then again, i'm always cold, so, blah. be well. <3
from fuschia :
oh my.. the note is rather long. oh i cant help but mention this one too: "owie-fix spell- try this little spell for those bothersome cuts or scrapes, or even acne! hold your hand over the afflicted area and say: owie fix, owie fix, youre the fairy that i pick, bring the healing, come right quick"
from fuschia :
oh my gosh!! i saw that at this great store downtown ann arbor, "crazy wisdom" but didn't give it a second glance. i actually own the "teen witch" book, but i luckily bought it at a bargain bookstore. silver ravenwolf (the author) is (or already has become) becoming a disgrace to the pagan community. selling fake quartz crystals and a cardboard/plastic altar, with cheap candles and a fake pentacle and a yes/no coin is crazy. (and i know this now from the amazon.com reviews, they're pretty.. intense) her first book, "to ride a silver broomstick" is actually quite nice, and was the book that established her repuatation as "mama silver", to many people. i own that too, and was impressed by it's simplistic way of explaining things, although it is by no means the best pagan book i own. anyway, "teen witch" is one of the many books that lately are filled with "don't call me" spells (i have the book open right now) and "does he like me?" sort of things. unfortunately, a lot of people don't take paganism very seriously anymore . . and i can only have pity for the people who actually follow through with these spells, like this one: "snow person healing spell" wtf? its something to do with making snow balls. um. alright - maybe some people would take this seriously and make it work for them, but none of these "spells" seem deep enough for me, but perhaps it's just because i'm more used to scott cunningham's books. oh man. i'm really sorry i ranted to you, but i was so mad. geez. sellout.. (i probably repeated myself multiple times in the note and probably messed up a lot, but i am not proof reading it because i would be too embarrassed. oh well i am embarrassed i actually own the teen witch book anyway. ha)
from heartshaped :
hello, dear. that must have been you that sent me a message on aim, am i right? my sister was on the computer at that time and decided to just shut it down. hmm, thanks sis. anyway. we will talk soon. promise. xo.
from heartshaped :
hello. mine was pretty quiet. but still just wonderful. mmhmm. and how was yours, my love?
from iremainyours :
i noticed the large number of kids there too. in fact, these two twelve-year-olds next to me had both bought dashboard shirts when they walked in and immediately put them on. i felt kinda bad. and then there were the girls screaming "you're so hottttt!" it would be nice to see him with an audience of thirty normal people, but that's just not realistic anymore. so sad. oh, and i buy old records from goodwill too. i don't know where else to get good albums for 99 cents.
from iremainyours :
i saw the same tour you did, friday night. the anniversary+ben kweller were WONDERFUL, although i also really liked dashboard. seafood on the other hand....
from heartshaped :
you couldn't have said a nicer thing. i'll be here often. cheers, baby. <3
from valida :
thank you. that meant a lot to me. also, i think i should have the zine out by friday at the latest. it's extremely short, because i had no experience in making zines. but, there's always next issue, eh? be well; keep writing. <3
from heartshaped :
hey you. <3
from fuschia :
i wish you would update more often. your diary is one of my true favourites.
from ash3584 :
girls suck sometimes... but so do guys... it's a lose lose situation but hey, we make the best of it
from iremainyours :
hi i likeyou and your words.
from valida :
they're a brand i've never heard of -- CB Drums. I've actually got them on lend from the school band because we have two sets. also, i should have probably waited until it was warmer to shave my head. heh. <3
from valida :
yes. they're healing quite nicely; i just have to be slightly ginger on the typing. they should be fine by tomorrow. <3
from valida :
i do believe i feel the same way about you. <3
from valida :
she isn't epileptic, it was just that one seizure. i don't know what caused it. :/
from valida :
thank you greatly for your notes and hugs. /hug
<3 <3
from valida :
pick up sticks are a bunch of long, thin sticks. you dump them on the table then try to pick each of them up without moving another one. a pointless toy, really. :/
from fuschia :
thank you. i can't believe more people havent listed you as a favourite, but i'm sure they'll find you soon. you write very well.
from trannieguy :
I have not yet stopped. There has been and continues to be a very significant health issue with an immediate family member. Most of my time has been taken up dealing with this most significant crisis (recurrent metastatic breast disease Stage IV; i.e., in all probability terminal...). So, when I feel like picking up the thread (and I thought of it the other day for the first time in a long time...), I shall. In the meantime, the new Spiritualized album Let It Come Down is worth listening to often.
from fuschia :
i am all of your notes! :)
from fuschia :
i'm sorry you lost your job. my best friends' mother lost her job a few weeks ago. i felt so bad for them. and i still do. they have so many things to pay off and to get and to do and she's trying to find another job and they don't have the classical 'good life', whatever that may be. i just feel so hopeless sometimes, because bad things happen to people that do good things. oh man.
from fuschia :
pretending to be.
from fuschia :
i really do want to see open your eyes. i think it would be better. some critics got mad at the fact they made a remake of what was a good movie, and turned it into something full of celebrity madness. i like penelope when she talks in spanish.
from fuschia :
magnifika! write a new entry!

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