messages to mhscutie05:
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from dangerspouse :
Yo yo yo, BIOTCH! Happy "Stuff Her Full of Chocolate and Dick" day yerself! You better believe NewWifey(tm)'s gonna get a workout today. I vow to leave no hole unturned! Hope you and Him have as much fun as us :)
from dangerspouse :
65? Fuck you! NO LUBE. Heh, thanks for the note and the late-as-fuck birthday wishes. I guess it's the best I can hope for from a lazy beyotch like you. Well done. And no, no freakin' hat yet. I found out what the problem is, though: there's not enough fabric in the store to cover my enormous fat head. Oh well... :)
from dangerspouse :
Hell yeah, I knew I could count on my homie to have my back. FUCK THAT BITCH indeed! She shoulda acted like you - a fuckin' BOSS - and just got all in my face with that shit instead of telling HR she was butthurt. Anonymously! FUCK HER AND THE HORSE SHE RODE IN ON! (BTW, I did say something similar to that to HR. The response: "It doesn't matter. You said something that made for a hostile work environment for someone, even if they weren't the intended recipient. You can't say something that someone even accidentally might overhear would get upset at." FUCK THEM TOO! Lol...yep, that espresso does wonders for one's ability to type indignant replies, doesn't it? (Seriously, thanks for the note, BABE. Hope you're feeling better by now.) :)
from dangerspouse :
Wowee, I loves me a good catfight! Lol. I had no idea Tyra was so skanky. Thanks for the edjamakation. I'll never yank it to one of her Sports Illustrated covers again. And NewWifey(tm) is rockin' it as usual, thanks! She says hi :)
from dangerspouse :
Wait - what do you have against Tyra, Ms. Mucus?
from dangerspouse :
*sob* Oh Spongebob....oh Patrick...oh Sandy....oh Mr. Krabs. I'm so sorry for your loss. (Fuck Squidword and Sheldon Plankton, though. Jerks.)
from dangerspouse :
Dani! I missed you! So I came back :) So...has the oppressive heat finally simmered down by you now that it's damn near December? How's things in general?
from cloudy-night :
I'm sorry that you're feeling that way, my friend. I am in that zone too, maybe it is time for a change. Have you thought that maybe a new job would change things, if only temporarily? I hope things will get better for you and thanks for the advice! I will just drive every day in order to improve. To quote Stewie Griffin, "Until then, keep this in mind. Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. See you tomorrow."
from dangerspouse :
Here ya go, just for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY
from dangerspouse :
Oh man, I almost had a 3-some myself last night! All I needed was two more people! Damn. So close. So close....
from dangerspouse :
Yeah, y'know, I was gonna leave this extended not thanking you for the condolence about my dead friend and shit like that, but...fuck it. Now you want me to shave my arm hair??! FUCK YOU! There's NO WAY I'm gonna make these many guns of mine look like my wife's pussy. So don't even go there. (On the other hand, get enough tequila in me, and....)
from dangerspouse :
Hey you! It's Groundhog Day - you over your hideous ailment yet? I need to know if you worked up the courage to take a dump in front of your hubby!
from dangerspouse :
Pool of snot...chafed inner thighs...foot porn...fecal voyeurism.... Nope. Doesn't sound weird to non-perverts at all. Not that I know any non-perverts....
from dangerspouse :
Hey cutie - it's January 9, 2018 and you haven't updated. Get the fuck back here and at least tell us what you got for Christmas (besides laid)!
from mhscutie05 :
Oh boy. You should keep that pussy clean at all times!!! Lol but if he follows you to the John, that's a good sign that he likes you. Or hes just a pervert. Lol
from dangerspouse :
You're welcome. And yes, he does. Which comes in handy when I'm out of toilet paper. :)
from dangerspouse :
I knew you'd like NewWifey(tm)'s ass. Lezzy.
from cloudy-night :
Hey, how have you been? I will update soon, just waiting for something to write about.
from dangerspouse :
Yeah, you're right. Fuck Alton Brown RIGHT IN HIS STINKY-ASS PUSSY! And after that, fuck your fucking stupid-ass Microbreak Microsupervisor in HIS Micropussy too! Fucking idiot. Who the fuck pisses and moans that a worker who is GETTING SHIT DONE is abusing microbreak...you know what? Never mind. Just fuck him and the horse he rode in on, both. Fucker. (Oh - and fuck your husband's toe fetish. There's NOTHING like pussy. Weirdo.)
from dangerspouse :
Alton Brown can suck my cannoli. Fuckin' guy looked like an absolute dweeb riding around with his homies on motorcycles looking for places to eat in that one series he did. He wore a ton of useless safety gear, rode a shitty bike, had too many assholes on the trip with him....AND DESPITE ALL THAT HE CRASHED AT 5 MPH WHEN HE HIT A PISSY LITTLE PATCH OF GRAVEL! Jerk. Idiot. I can forgive a lot of things, but not bad motorcyling. So yeah. Fuck Alton Brown. Fuck him right in his stupid tailpipe.
from dangerspouse :
Wow, you were so adament about Trump being his usual Trump asshole self to people he should respect more than the slithering worms he calls "parents", and about the PYT with the jiggly bits, that you had to repeat your entire entry three times? Impressive! And you better not drop your pants and bend over in front of ME, missy, or you'll have a sexual harassment suit of your own to deal with. After dinner, anyway :)
from dangerspouse :
You weren't seeing things. I deleted that note. It was really odd - I read an entry of hers and AGREED WITH HER, but she got apparently pissed off or she was off her meds or on the rag or something, and left that asinine reply. I just shrugged and scrubbed it. Glad you got to see it before I did, though. It was pretty impressive, wasn't it? What dessert do I make that NewWifey(tm) creams her jeans over? Hmmmmm. ALL OF THEM, BITCH! What else?? Lol...my homemade ice cream is always a hit with her, as is my rice pudding. But probably her favorite favorite is my blueberry scones, which she eats as both a breakfast item with tea AND dessert after dinner. She asks for them more than anything else I make, probably :)
from dangerspouse :
HAHA! Well, it's good to know I can count on your unwavering support. Thanks for the thumbs up, and for permission to exploit my wife's breasts! :)
from dangerspouse :
Oh trust me, NewWifey(tm) is all too used to me embarrassing her. Good thing I have this professional tongue, or she would have split back to her trailer park in the midwest years ago. Lol...great note kid, thanks :) Honestly, I was just posing a hypothetical there. I don't think I'm really gonna start a YouTube foodporn channel. Aside from the fact that I'm so ugly even my hands are hideous, I just don't have time. My RL job keeps me away from home at least 10 hours a day (up at 3am, 1 hour commute each way, usually grocery shopping on the way home too, etc., I beat by the time I get back to Dangerhouse). But we'll see. Maybe if I can convince NewWifey(tm) to co-host topless so I can REALLY call it "The Breast Channel on YouTube", then I'll do it.
from cloudy-night :
Hi! I am still around. I read entries on my phone, sorry for not replying or updating. How are you?
from dangerspouse :
I thought I smelled something....
from dangerspouse :
HAHAAA! Thanks for the fine, and fawning, mention. I deserve nothing less. Hey, you over that cold yet? Don't wanna leave hubby's dick with a slick coating of phlegm after every blowjob, y'now. Take my word for that. And since you asked: no, my panties are still dry. But that may be because I only go commando. Hope you get a handle on that stress incontinence soon. That sounds stressful.
from candoor :
If I started answering the question you asked I might never stop writing. Why am I lonely.. let me count the ways. Time restraints force me to answer thusly: Someday my princess will come and until she does, I am lonely. Expounding a bit further, I am a hopelessly hopeful romantic, a complete and whole being within myself, yet living this life to share it as completely as possible with someone who wants to and can share it completely as possible with me. Until I find her (I am 99% sure she is a her), I am lonely. On the surface, I have a busy active social life. Inside, where it matters most, I am alone. Of course we all are inside, but I dream of sharing some magical mystery connection in there and dream of finding someone who dreams the same dream. My wavelength is rather uncommon as that person has yet to be found. Than you for asking. Even those closest to me in life seldom ask. Did I answer your question? :)
from candoor :
How can you not love Dangerspouse... I came here all serious intending to show sincere concern for your health and I read his note and a chunk of my lung fell out laughing. The danger part is real.... meanwhile, what I opened this note box to say is that I hope you feel better soon and your breathing returns to normal. I may not be here often, but I care even when I am elsewhere. Positive energy sent.
from dangerspouse :
If chunks of lung are spewing out of you, you're using your birthday vibrator all wrong. Other hole, girl. (Awwwwwww, thanks for the heartfelt note, kid. Meant a lot to me. If this cheers you up at all: NewWifey(tm) absolutely TORE INTO me last night after she read that entry. She's threatening loss of consort if I don't return here. So...who knows. I may be back sooner than I thought. I hate celibacy.) :)
from dangerspouse :
So your paranoia is the sock manufacturer's gain, huh? Oh well, as long as you get a kick out of it. (Get it? Kick? Feet? Sigh...I suck.) Oh yeah, about the tie picture. When I first posted the entry, neither my WordPress nor this D-Land had the tie picture. AFTER I posted, I realized I should have included it. It's super easy to edit a WordPress entry and add a picture. It's not super easy here at good ol' DL. So I said, "Fuck it". Suffer, Diaryland audience, you will NEVER EVER EVER see my Pepe le Pew tie!!! Unless you go to my WordPress. And yes, my wife says something similar when she sees me in that getup. "What the hell did I ever do to deserved this?". That's pretty close to "I'm a lucky woman!", right?
from dangerspouse :
Haha! Yeah, those socks are da bomb. Glad you're diggin' 'em :)
from cloudy-night :
I was thinking that the divorce thing was a prank. I just didn't want to chime in on something I didn't know about. It just seems like anytime something is going well and someone mentions a breakup, I think of all those fake breakup videos of youtube. I think it is cruel/risky to do such things because you never know what you may unleash. Glad things are cool!
from whystinger :
I was secretly hoping his buddy had grabbed his phone and did that, which was still very uncool. I am still shocked by the "prank."
from dangerspouse :
Yeeeeeesh. Y'know, I usually don't leave notes when subjects turn serious, like your recent entries have been. I'm just no good at "serious". But damn. Whystinger is right. That was just fucked up. No REAL man does that to the woman he loves. You're hubby's damn lucky he didn't arrive home to find you just pulling away with a fully loaded U-Haul and a note on the door wishing him AIDS. Oh, and the foot fetish thing? Maybe he just likes looking into your sole. ;)
from whystinger :
Wow, what he and his buddies did was NOT funny at all.
from cloudy-night :
Hi, thanks for the advice. I think I will do that tomorrow if I can wake up when there is daylight. :P I just read your latest entry and I am truly sorry to hear about your husband. I hope it all works out.
from dangerspouse :
Well, all us Italians have hairy chests and wear polo shirts (or silk button-downs with one too many buttons undone) with gold chains and some of that hair always poking out. God, that brings back memories of my mom....
from dangerspouse :
Ah. So he was a fellow Italian. Got it.
from dangerspouse :
"Hamburger meat hair"? Hamburger meat hair?? You and I have very different culinary traditions, madame.
from dangerspouse :
Ain't hotel boinking great? Sorry you had to quite your premises when the AC bit the big one, but as long as you were exiled I'm glad to see you made the most of it. With a guy who probably has hairy legs, the bastard :(
from dangerspouse :
Shaving?? Pfff. Epi-Lady.
from dangerspouse :
Gender.
from dangerspouse :
If that's true, it's the worst smelling magical gold dust I've ever encountered.
from dangerspouse :
Hey, you don't have to tell ME about drool, snot, and poo. I'm married too, y'know.
from dangerspouse :
What the hell is it that all you women seemed to be obsess with my lack of lower leg hair? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good fetish as much as the next loser. But Jesus...leg hair? FWIW, though, since you asked: I'm actually a girl. There, now you know. But at least I make killer bread pudding! :)
from dangerspouse :
Yo, Dani, I haven't been around in a while, so I apologize (again) for not responding to/leaving notes in a timely manner. I wish I could say it was because I was a horribly disfiguring accident or something, but it reality I'm just a shitty person who got into a lazy stretch for a really, really long time. Anyway, I've had a blast reading your entries even if I haven't actually commented (and really, you don't want to read a comment like "for godsake woman, learn to make REAL cake!"...although I guess you're forgiven because of the killer blow job description). But seriously, thanks for the shout-outs, and for the RIP for Casey and Gloria especially. It touched me to see you mention them. Rock on, babe :)
from candoor :
I am not stalking Dangerspouse, realy I'm not. I just happened to make one of my only very occasional visits to D-Land and reading him is SOP when I am here. That lead me to read you and leave you this note. Thank you for holding my attention for more than seven minutes. I admit, I skimmed a dozen or so entries because it is the weekend and I don't turn on my brain too often on the weekend, but I made some sort of mark somewhere in my head to return to read more when I am awake and next visit D-Land which may be next year or next week (I tend to babble elsewhere, but still stumble back to this place where my online ramblings began more than fifteen years ago). Even now and then the idea of taking the words seriously and editing something for actual publishing whizzes through my head, but it's usually gone and flushed before it starts to stink too bad. Writing is therapy and play for me, and addiction I nurture like an suckling infant (or some such metaphor). Thanks for reminding me Stephen King is still my favorite author. I laughed much reading you, even with eyes half open and a brain in carefree irreverent babble mode. May much fun and happiness and reward come to you and your brood. Keep writing, the world needs more unabashed mind dumps like ours.
from dangerspouse :
HEY!!! Oh man, I'm so sorry I'm just getting around to leaving you a note now, after you left me such a nice one at my place AND mentioned me in your diary. I suck!! I also should learn to check in here more often, huh? Anyway, just wanted to let you know I appreciated it, and I'm really loving reading your diary. You're a hoot, kid!! Keep it up - BJ's, awful feet, and all :)
from dangerspouse :
You know what's funny? I told my wife, "We better walk along the beach in sturdy footwear. If we take a picture of our nekkid peds, mhscutie05 is gonna hurl." But no. My wife has no pity on you and your (gosh, completely sensible) phobia. "Off with the shoes!" she cried, and then snapped that pic. So I'm sorry. But blame her. The beyotch. (BTW, are you ever gonna post another entry?)
from dangerspouse :
Lol. I blame this whole cultural aversion to body shaming. I say, SHAME ME! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND MY HEALTH, TELL ME TO MY FACE THAT I'M FAT! But no. They're all a buncha pussies. :)
from dangerspouse :
WHOA! Lemme guess: that woman is....single?
from dangerspouse :
Oh my god. You're leaving notes referencing entries I'd long forgotten. Attacked by vultures! Thanks's right! And the KILLER PENGUINS! Stupid fucking nuns. Jeez, did you HAVE to bring them back to the forefront of my memory? I have enough trouble sleeping as it is. But I'm glad you're enjoying my stories :)
from dangerspouse :
Sucked the snot right out of your kid, huh? Well, I'm just happy for you that he wasn't constipated.
from dangerspouse :
THE PENGUIN DAYS! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Not that! Lol. Thanks for the rockin' kick-ass note, babe (NOT "baby girl"...even I wouldn't risk that kind of danger!). Seriously, that whole thing cracked me up. Thanks for all of it. And I'm glad to see you're resolved to writing free style, just letting it all pour out! Your latest entry certainly shows a real rollicking style that was a blast to read. You go, girl! Er, mature woman :)
from dangerspouse :
Thanks for the note! Yeah, isn't odd how it takes time to be creative, sometimes? I know exactly what you mean. Which is why I'm boring most of the time in RL :) OMG...you're reading my old entries FROM THE BEGINNING?? What are you, a masochist? Woof. You're in for a long, boring ride, kid. I started this diary because I was working overnights and had hours - hours - of free time to kill. So I would write for hours at a time sometimes. No editing, no worries about content or anything else. Just 'type type type' to fill time. I go back sometimes and am horrified at the crap I threw up here. But...that's no different than many people, I guess. But be warned - you're gonna wade through a TON of garbage if you're resolved to slogging through my archives! Lol...still, you rock :)
from dangerspouse :
Lol. No one is thrilled about their early entries. Just keep writing and you'll naturally get better, I'm sure. Hang in there, and don't let go of that dream! Thanks for saying such a nice thing about my diary, btw :)
from dangerspouse :
Hey hey - thanks for writing me back! (And both here AND at my place, lol. Takes a while to get back in the swing of things, eh? Lol...) Good luck becoming an author. I'm sure you can improve your grammar skills - it seems like a lot of people have that same concern, but most overcome it. All the best with that! I look forward to reading more of your entries now, if you really do decide to continue posting here :)
from mhscutie05 :
Hello fellow member of the community. Yes it has been almost 10 years. I can't believe it myself. I just happen to browse some things back in the day and ended up here. lol No, I did not follow the manga dream. But I do hope to be an author. I have horrible grammar skills which will come as a challenge, but I can dream. lol Thanks for the welcome back. I look forward to being more active here. :)
from dangerspouse :
Wow. Almost 10 years! Whatcha been up to? Did you end up making a career of manga? Anyway, welcome back and I hope the past decade was good to you. :)

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