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messages to moonshadow34:
(click here to add new message):

from raven72d :
I do wish you'd come back and post here.
from raven72d :
Don't abandon this diary... And don't forget that you have Stories to tell.
from raven72d :
What happened in the Dutch train station?
from raven72d :
When will you return to the British Isles? What are your school plans? What...*stuff*...are you taking?
from raven72d :
The hurricane is coming... I like looking at stormfronts from a balcony-- at a distance. Losing power and a/c for several days in late August is *not* a fun thought.
from raven72d :
And you should let me know if you received a SwissCard...
from raven72d :
You should phone me before you leave for Wales...
from raven72d :
I hope that one day you'll make a list of favourite poets for me...
from raven72d :
Whatever happened to TheWege (Laura)?
from raven72d :
I have convinced myself to be afraid of the last two comments you left at LJ...But I still miss your voice.
from raven72d :
And tell me all about Strip Go...
from raven72d :
And tell me all about Strip Go...
from raven72d :
Send a new photo or two...
from raven72d :
I'm just glad you're back.
from raven72d :
Ummmm...was this "Ben" perhaps devoured by the vile, unhuman Andaman Islanders?
from raven72d :
Please keep reading... And do post here once in a while...
from raven72d :
I worry that you're comatose or dead somewhere in Ireland...
from dark-diction :
?!!?Is Ireland a gateway to an alternate universe where you have no friends or people that care?!!!?
from cat-adokenai :
Sweety, I want you to know that I do care about you!
from raven72d :
You are in my thoughts. And I'd talk to you anytime. You're lovely and valuable and I'd miss you. Be strong, girl-- be brave and come back from Ireland to people who do care about you.
from rainforme :
strength to you in this time... and lots of those cute little plastic toy people you stick your finger in, you know the ones.
from commissar :
Don't die. Just don't, please. Stay alive, and start being happy again. Come back to St. John's maybe. Ireland doesn't seem to be doing you much good. I ordered Watchmen from Amazon.com, should get here around friday. Laura and I miss you.
from raven72d :
I'd always bring you Fisher-Price toys... And don't you dare fucking die. I'd miss you, girl. I would.
from raven72d :
Why do you feel so isolated, so trapped by memory?
from raven72d :
You just have to talk... Start talking and let your innate intelligence take over.
from raven72d :
Everyone has a song for lost loves and lost years...
from raven72d :
You are valuable, and not a freak. Maegan, I can run through any number of scenarios for your secrets-- they none of them make you any less attractive or bright or valuable.
from raven72d :
Your life remains far too hidden... I cannot imagine why you see yourself as broken or ugly... I cannot intuit why you're so bleak about everything...
from raven72d :
Trinity in Dublin? Ahhh--ha! Dr. Maturin went there...
from raven72d :
Back in Colorado? Please do call...
from rainforme :
wait... what? are you back home? i won't ask what happened since you'd have written it if you felt like sharing... but just wanted to say i hope you are okay. ok. be well.
from raven72d :
Make February a month in which you write me...
from raven72d :
Yay, small pupster!
from raven72d :
I did send a card to your Colorado address... And I hope that your day of socially-manipulated self-reflection does offer you a hope of a better Year Five... And I hope that you'll make me part of your new year...
from raven72d :
But what *was* last Christmas like...and what "bad decisions" and "bad relationships" were there in 2004?
from raven72d :
yay, small new puppy friend! and...merry xmas.
from raven72d :
I'm now also fort_kanji at LJ...
from rainforme :
hey there, just wanted to wish a fellow abroad person a happy holiday... hope you are having an okay time being away from the fam. take care.
from raven72d :
I don't get why David Sedaris is regarded as so brilliant. He does nothing whatsoever for me.
from raven72d :
Everyone likes Calvin & Hobbes.
from rainforme :
yay pictures!!
from raven72d :
Travel for the rest of the year. Find a university you like.
from rainforme :
you don't need someone to tell you what to do... and if you're like me at all, you wish they would, then do just the opposite when they do. heh. but i know how you feel. good luck to you.
from raven72d :
Glad to hear that you're feeling better...
from raven72d :
Hate... A hate chill and deep enough to be in the Ninth Circle... But--who? And why? What part of your life is so worth excising?
from raven72d :
I'd draw you a sheep... And go with you to Siena...
from rainforme :
i'm coming with you. tuscany sounds wonderful. or wait... maybe you should come to portugal with me. will this travel lust ever be satiated? sigh.
from raven72d :
My problem is "woman" v. "girl" is that "woman" is so...Grown-Up. I'd never even consider using "man" to describe myself-- too Grown Up. "Girl" is sexy/young/desirable. "Woman" is too...earnest and serious.
from raven72d :
I forgot my reading glasses at school tonight: another two hundred bucks shot. And you describe yourself as a "woman"... That's scary. "Girl" is sexy and desirable... "Woman" is something one's mother's friends are.
from rainforme :
that 10-19 entry - the part of about testing your dreams. perfectly put. careers suck, by the way... don't gear your degree towards something you'll end up hating. do what you love.
from god-of-whine :
wow i just looked at your favorite movies and just thought id share that Dead Poets Society was the insiration to me going back to grad school for my teaching certification. on a similar note, Office Space was the inspiration for me quitting my last cubicle job, and on a less similar note, Debbie Does Northern Virginia was the inspiration for me moving back east to this area. Though unfortunately i have yet to find teh ever talented and entertianing Debbie...sigh
from razberryjam :
a word of advice: i too had that pesky childhood dream of getting a degree in creative writing, and you know what? that's exactly what i did. i know have my ba in my truest passion and now... i work for too little pay in a bookstore in texas while preparing for grad school. if you can find a good program you'll still recieve a general liberal arts education and with that you can do anything. namely, go to grad school and get more education. anyway, this is going all over the place, but i just wanted to say if you want to study creative writing, do it. don't let anything hold you back. you will not be limiting yourself in any way. good luck with the rest of your trip. chrissy
from raven72d :
At 0500...on walks...you should phone me... or write long letters. You know how much your voice means.
from popeholden2 :
i found your diary because you listen to damien rice and the second entry i read, about fading out of existance, prompted me to post a note because i have always felt EXACTLY LIKE THAT. depressing, ain't it?
from raven72d :
Not Livy. Herodotus. Alone in a foreign land, it's Herodotus who can help. I saw university always as a bastion against the horror of the quotidian... And the last place where I could sleep late.
from rainforme :
you put into words some of my exact feelings... excellent entry.
from raven72d :
Being alone among Foreigners is always lonely...
from philosophos :
Hey Maegan, you should e-mail me about where you are. I am planning a trip to meet you soon. - Eric
from commissar :
but it's such a yummy devil...
from raven72d :
Remember: the Dutch are awfully close to the Flemish-- an ethnic group named after mucous.
from raven72d :
Yay, Connemara ponies! And...were they *invisible* sheep that you might have frightened?
from raven72d :
The Arans... dear God, were you attacked by the batrachian Manx?
from raven72d :
so, then-- the Arans! Needless to say, you must buy a sweater.
from raven72d :
congrats on the job and the flat. i do hope things go well....
from razberryjam :
i studied at the university of limerick during the week, but traveled nearly every weekend. galway was very cool, i remember an excellent pub called the blue note that had the best pints of guinness. if you get a chance check out kilkenny, it's very beautiful. we went to belfast which, though the fighting has mostly died out, still has a solemn air to it, and the murals are amazing... i mostly started my journal to document my trip so if you have time, you can check out my entries from feb-may, 2003. at any rate, i think you are so brave and totally cool for traveling by yourself to a foreign country. good luck and good cheer. i know you'll be fine.
from rainforme :
what a perfect quote. your entries are preparing me for my trip... knowing to expect the darker side. thank you for that. also, i concur with razberry below... dingle is sublime.
from raven72d :
So-- where have you found to live? What is Galway like? Do the Manx prowl the sea floor in Galway Bay? Write soon... regard me as a kind of mooring....
from razberryjam :
i spent a semester in ireland a year ago, i loved it, and i miss it insanely. i'll be reading your diary from now on in hopes that i might relive some of my adventures through you. (also, i highly recommend going to dingle, county kerry, and riding a bike around the peninsula. that was my best weekend.) be well.
from raven72d :
Galway is a lovely, wild coast. But beware the "House on the Borerland" creatures. Send an address when you get a flat.
from rainforme :
well wishes on your journey.
from raven72d :
I'm baffled by iPods. But then...technology baffles me. And the British Defence Minsitry has banned iPods from MoD sites: it seems iPods can download information over, areound, and through security codes. MI-5 considers the iPod to be a security risk.
from rainforme :
thank you for the note... i too went to the UK when i was 20. lived in london for 6 months and travelled to ireland a few times. you are in for an absolute wonderful experience (but you know that)... one that will probably make you a traveler for life. enjoy, i look forward to reading about it.
from raven72d :
I hope you're remaining panty-free in Eire... And I hope you'll write/call before you leave.
from raven72d :
Do well over in Eire, When do you leave?? Write me, lovely one-- from there and from here before you leave... Call soon. Read Austen's "Persuasion", too.
from raven72d :
You are going off to find a life-- or construct a life --in Ireland. You have a full decade to find out what you want to be and what you want to do with your life. You're a good writer, an intelligent girl, and a courageous one. Don't ever forget those things.
from raven72d :
Totally lovely e e cummings touch.
from rainforme :
well hello! thanks very much for adding me and for the delicate and lovely description. your color entry is stunning. take care.
from raven72d :
Lady Catherine DeBurgh says: 2 + 2 really is 2 x 4 if you look at it as a hot dog might.
from raven72d :
Codeine has a whole run of unpleasant side effects... Not a good painkiller. What in fact were you operated on for? (Splints?)
from raven72d :
Do you ever make prank phone calls while pretending to be Ludwig Wittgenstein?
from raven72d :
Remember that Socrates never grasped the deep truth of the saying that Questions are a Burden to Others, Answers are a Prison for Oneself. And a mastery of the negative elenchos got Socrates...where?
from raven72d :
How did you get the housesitting gig?
from thewege :
Hey, you! I miss you! I just posted an entry with my results from that "soul quality" quiz. When do you leave for the UK? I want to be a CIA operative or an opera singer. Any thoughts? Keep in touch. Love, the wege
from raven72d :
I can at least place orders by phone and web. I save the fetal position for interpersonal failures.
from raven72d :
Congrats on the paper.
from philosophos :
I do not prefer to write here any response concerning the present debate, although I will undertake in my journal a defense not only for the beauty of man, but for beauty in general.
from raven72d :
Be very, very clear. I have no use whatoever for egalitarianism. I despise egalitarianism as much as I despise, oh, libertarians. This is about a war-- my campaign to have attractive girls find *me* valuable and fuckable. It is purely, absolutely selfish. I don't want beauty eliminated as a criterion because it's unfair; I want it eliminated so that I can win over and against Other Males. I hate Other Males for being able to get laid when I can't any longer. I hate being found valueless in the most basic of all competitions-- for attractive girls. I hold five post-secondary degrees, two of them from an Ivy. I have no life and I cannot get laid. I have no value in the eyes of any girl who has ever seen me in the flesh. What I want is...well, Other Males taken off to death camps. I want the thing I've never had-- the power to be desired, the power to choose among competitors for my favors. I want sex again-- sex with girls who have some value. So long as girls want men who meet physical criteria, I'll never have sex again. I don't care about appeciation of abstract beauty-- that's to worry about *after* I get laid, after I get a guest pas to the Forbidden City, and Other Males are dealt with as my enemies. If I seem angry-- well, yes.
from raven72d :
Selfish? Well, good God, *yes*. What I'm concerned with here is having lovely girls desire me. I would like to be found valuable and desirable-- fuckable. So long as women look at men and judge them on physical prowess, physiques, build, looks... I will never get laid again. What happens to Other Males is of no concern to me-- so long as they're not there for girls to use them as a standard against which to judge me. If Other males were transported to death camps in the Antarctic, I'd wave cheerfully as the prison ships sailed away. I cannot be found valuable and fuckable by attractive, clever, leggy, panty-free girls so long as males are judged on any physical quality. If physical beauty is demanded of males, I'll quite simply never have sex again. Judged against that standard, I have no value and no hope. This is about a war where no quarter is given. If girls don't have handsome/buff males to look at-- all the better for me. Maybe-- just maybe --I could be found useful by attractive girls if males were judged by voice and store of ideas and knowledge. You obviously didn't read my entry about Zelda and the men who paid her lunch check.
from raven72d :
Now-- go check your e-mail. You have e-cards there. But... it *is* unseemly that males should be physically attractive. The idea that some males are physically desirable simply closes off whatever hope the majority of males (and that would be *me* I'm concerned with) have of becoming objects o'desire. The existence of, e.g., Jude Law means that the rest of us will not be desired. Male beauty means that yet again even still one more unfavorable comparison can be made regarding me.
from raven72d :
Armour rarely shines. Few knights were handsome...or had all their teeth. You need an urban vicomte...or a Regency ne'er-do-well...or someone older and well-read and cynical. And remember-- girls should have physical beauty. It's unseemly and useless for a male to have any physical allure.
from raven72d :
Yes, yes-- but which Fallen Archangel would you most like to have ravish you?
from commissar :
"Studnicky asked both Laura and I who we preferred -- Angel, or Colin Firth....." Hey, that was me! I <I>demand</I> to be properly credited with these things! Well, maybe not, I suppose it was a stupid question...
from raven72d :
Handcuff his hands inside the window and then break each finger...
from raven72d :
Oh, dear...Angel. Too self-pitying, too chisel-jawed. Spike is more charming. And Giles, when he's ruthless.
from raven72d :
I must tell you my vampire stories.
from raven72d :
The girl at zionabsolute is fascinating and scary... What do you know about her?
from raven72d :
A rat cage....? You have your vur' own pet rat? My own goal is one day to have a small corgi...or a beagle (named Frederick). My friend the Small Pika at Temple has a small, long-haired dachshund named Alfie who is a minor Old Testament prophet. (See his book, there between Habakkuk and Malachi) Yahweh has told Alfie to urge us all to Smite the Amalekites. Little Prophetic Dachshunds are most cool.
from raven72d :
Saturnine. I am...saturnine.
from raven72d :
Schroeder. I liked Schroeder-- though Linus Van Pelt has always been my role model.
from thewege :
Hi, Maegan! Just in the neighborhood, and I read your latest diary entry. Ha ha ha! When you come back I shall always make you skip classes! And take Quizilla quizzes! Actually, the reason I decided to write you a note is to tell you that you may be a high-maitenance girlfriend to most guys (most guys being inferior, keep in mind), but to a soul mate or kindred spirit you'll be the best thing that exists, and easy as breathing to be with. So don't worry. You just have high standards. Me too. It is a nuisance in the casual dating world, but in the long run we'll be better off. Have more successful marriages and all that.
from raven72d :
About Volapuk, Estonia, and small pettable animals I'm usually right. And you need a copy of "A Grammar of the Gothic Language", the classic 1890 book from which Tolkien began to contsruct languages...
from raven72d :
The meerkats originally settled to teach Volapuk. They formed their own literary society. Estonia has a rocky coast, and it's full of fog-bound forests and low hills. Kinda Valinoresque, I think...
from raven72d :
Estonia is however Valinor... Tolkien looked at Estonian and Finnish for his first created languages... And of course many meerkats in Estonia speak fluent Volapuk.
from raven72d :
You must rent "Metropolitan"...and "Jabberwocky". And you must read Jerome K. Jerome's "Three Men in a Boat" (look for the film, too). Andparallel lines actually meet in Pierre, SD. Or in Estonia.
from raven72d :
You don't know how much I want Wolfram & Hart stationery...
from wateryone :
0ne of my favourite books of all time has a stoned girl sitting in her dorm room in her midwest arts college in the '70's asking the sensible girl at the door 'are you a Butterfly dreaming he's a Chinese Philosopher?' but I only just got it now, note-surfing. Even though I've seen R and G are Dead twice. Thanks.
from raven72d :
"Velleity". Compare the optative to the word "velleity".
from raven72d :
Remember-- Archimedes was ultimately taught a lesson about being rude to others...and/or about not paying attention.
from raven72d :
South Dakota has Victorian doll museums. There are four-- four! --in Pierre, the state capital. Now *that* is creepy. Capybaras are named Ferdinand. They are excellent small messengers and intrepid couriers. They will swim up and then trot right over carrying colourful little waterproof message cases. Small Messenger Capybaras enjoy vanilla milkshakes as treats. One can often see them in spiffy little white silk scarves and leather aviator helmets, boarding classic flying boats on courier rounds. (Yay, Ferdinand!)
from raven72d :
I like capybaras and wombats more than gerbils, though.
from raven72d :
A book-- Wm. Borden, "Superstoe", from c. 1968. Vur' funny-- the philosophy and Classics faculty at South Dakota State take over the US government.
from raven72d :
And Chinese butterflies would be-- by definition --even more inscrutable.
from raven72d :
Ah, Stoppard... I love his "Arcadia" and "Jumpers" and his novel "Lord Malquist and Mr. Moon"... The butterfly-- was it an *inscrutable* butterfly?
from raven72d :
Exactly! That line was of course a reference to "J. Alfred Prufrock"-- a favorite poem of mine. And I'm a big fan of Tom Stoppard as well.
from raven72d :
You should find a copy of "Donkey Raped Co-Eds", a c. 1975/80 porn novel about the misadventures that befall two twin cheerleader co-eds on spring break in Mejico... [There's also "Co-Ed's Wild Ass" (1981), about a Vassar co-ed after hours at Colonial Williamsburg] Best line-- when the angry Mejican bandido orders his henchman to get the sluggish donkey erect before it does the co-eds, the henchman reflects, "I can always wash my hands, but a bullet to my head I cannot feex."
from raven72d :
I think El Burro is on Mejican currency and stamps...
from raven72d :
I think the Esquimaux in Mejico mostly devour lone travelers or unsuspecting turistas who think they're going into a basement to see the Donkey Show (starring El Burro, the famous star of so many Mejican videos...)
from raven72d :
I think they beach their kayaks in Oaxaca... Esquimaux are the basis of the hideous Mayan gods... My friend Taylor in Austin thinks Invisible Mexicans ("Mejicans") are hunting him...sent perhaps by Esquimaux wizards...
from raven72d :
Beware the Esqiumaux lurking in Mejico...
from raven72d :
Gir doing Lear upon the heath would be excellent... As is Gir doing Antony's pseech (or speech) at Caesar's funeral... I type with one-point-five fingers, but I'm as fast as one can get with that...
from raven72d :
The idea of Gir doing Shakespeare interspersed with bits o' "The Doom Song" is wonderful. Gir is my vur' favorite Mongoose Dog.
from raven72d :
The numina are our friends. And they've been most kind to the Floppy Panda.
from oed :
Okay, I'm trying not to comment on everything wonderful I read about Johnnie life in Santa Fe, and how nothing's really changed in 20 years, blah-blah-blah. BUT this dad-and-oil-checking thing is so familiar, and so serious and funny at the same time! I killed my 1965 VW bug around 1980 cuz I didn't know what that little light was ... somehow, I got the thing rebuilt and pushed it, as much as drove it, over the next 5 years between SC, NM, and MD. All the while, in matters of cars and breakdowns, my father would say "dammit!! how can you BE so smart, and yet so dumb! hahahhaha!" One Christmas during those years, he gave me a set of jumper cables. I still have the same set, and have used them for myself and others many times. Dear moonshadow34, we are talkin' big time arete, here. Happy open road.
from thewege :
Wow, so that raven72 guy is now stalking you, apparently. Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Good choice for a new template ;), and I like the title too.
from raven72d :
Yes-- do Emil me. I'm quite good both at Emil and at real letters.
from raven72d :
You must send me e-mail ("Emil") sometime... I keep an account at yahoo dot com under my diary name...
from raven72d :
I assign "Last of the Wine" and Yourcenar's "Memoirs of Hadrian" to classes... The best Roman novel is George Shipway's "Imperial Governor", about Boudicca's revolt in Britain. Shipway was a British officer in India-- when he talks about governing primitive tribes and suppressing revolt in the hills, it's something he did himself once upon a time.
from raven72d :
I dislike hippies ("heepies"), too. And I'm no egalitarian. I am indeed personally responsible for *part* of the caste system in India-- I won a contest to be able to determine certain odd castes in the badlands of Bihar. And I know that the evil Gonds are more vile even than the turbaned and misshapen Hindoo minions of the Andaman Islanders. And I know that the Floppy Panda-- Tare Panda --is one of the Shinto kami, along with Pikachu and Pochacco and Hello Kitty. I also believe in the Roman numina, but I do not believe in South Dakota.
from raven72d :
I wasn't fond of "Gates of Fire" or the book about Alkibiades... My ability to read novels about Greece was set by Mary Renault. Once you've read "Last of the Wine" or "The Praise Singer" or "The King Must Die", you're spoiled for lesser writers. Steve Pressman made his Spartans ("Spats") too modern. Hmmm... "Farewell, Great King" (about Themistokles) by Jill Davies Paton (?) is pretty good, too... One day I shall write a properly pro-Theban, anti-Athenian Greek novel. Read Mary Renault. She's brilliant. And Peter Green's "Armada From Athens" and "The Greco-Persian Wars (a/k/a "The Year of Salamis") are the best non-fiction works on the Sicilian Expedition and Salamis/Plataea you'll ever find. Green despises Perikles, as do I.
from raven72d :
"The Insidious Dr. Fu Manchu" is the first one...a period piece classic.
from raven72d :
The Chinese mastermind bent on taking over the world... 1920s-50s novels from Sax Rohmer...plus a ton of films.
from raven72d :
The man who gave us...Dr. Fu Manchu!
from raven72d :
You can't ever forget Lovecraft and Sax Rohmer. They've shaped my worldview.
from raven72d :
The Manxmen are pretty much the same hideous batrachian creatures described in H.P. Lovecraft's "The Shadow Over Innsmouth". As they age, they grow gills and their bodies become scaly and webbed and they shamble back into the seas off their lakeless, treeless isle, there to work evil plans in their undersea cities. They are planning to devour humanity-- just like the loathsome Andaman Islanders and the Evil Esquimaux. Just look at the symbol of the Isle of Man-- that's what they ultimately morph into. Heywood's family orchestrated a publicity campaign to malign Bligh because he knew what the Manx really were. Fletcher Christian, after all, swam away from Pitcairn Island to the undersea lair of his kind. Beware the Manx!
from raven72d :
Oh, but--no! Not the Manx cats-- the poor tailless cats are harmless and pettable! It's the Manxmen who are hideous creatures! The Manxmen bred with undersea creatures to become monstrous batrachian hybrids who will join the Andaman Islanders and the Evil Esquimaux in attacking humanity...
from raven72d :
It's Richard Gere who says bad things about gerbils.
from raven72d :
You have to be careful about being too close to the Manx-- they will devour humanity if not stopped.
from raven72d :
You don't want to go to Ireland. It's too close to the vile and loathsome and batrachian Manx on their treeless isle. But being a small pikachu (or pichu) is always good. And gerbils, like hamsters and capybaras, are quite nice.
from thewege :
Hey there. Didn't see you at Fasching. You ok? Your last entry was a bit terse.
from lucifette :
sorry I always do that
from lucifette :
hey there, we don't really like the same things but I figured there was not reason to deny you the happiness of recieving a new note. my quote for today: You might not be here tomorrow so love what you can today.
from lucifette :
hey there, we don't really like the same things but I figured there was not reason to deny you the happiness of recieving a new note. my quote for today: You might not be here tomorrow so love what you can today.
from invisibledon :
thanks for doing my iwasbored survey - i enjoyed the answers

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