DiaryLand members area

My guestbook is broken. So thanks for replying to entries here... love you guys always. I still read your diaries even when I'm not updating. hopefully i'll be back in action starting with my most recent entry. <33

from onecutabove :

what a beautiful entry. I'm glad things are going so well right now

from raven72d :

How has summer gone?

from raven72d :

raven72d/capybara is the entry code... I have missed your entries.

from mylostdream :

For those asking for my username and pw: username: steel pw: wall the password is mostly for RL people. i haven't updated for a long time because reality is too much for me to reflect on. love you guys. <3

from regenschirm :

Hi :) I have no clue if you know who i am. i dont think so. ive been reading you on and off for probably years now ... anyway, to cut a long story short: i'd LOVE the password. either leave me a note or email me [email protected] thx

from onecutabove :

how are you doing? I know you broke up with keith and that must have hurt you more than you can put into words, but you haven't updated recently and that concerns me for obvious reasons. You were doing better when you were with him, even though it was a destructive, unhealthy relationship. Apparently you were still using, but you had something else to focus your attention on besides your self-destruction. You were thinking about stuff in therapy and you had someone else in your life. Have you given any though about going to meetings at all recently? I think you would benefit.

from step-inside :

Oh I forgot, I meant to say if you ever get bored and feel like talkin hit me up on AIM MindOveI2MatteI2

from step-inside :

I can't believe I'm leaving you advice on this subject, but here goes... Fuck spending time with people (mainly guys) that you don't even like, just for drugs. Save up your money and buy a large quanity yourself. You'd get a better deal that way. Take care of yourself ok?

from onempty :

hi, i had been reading your diary for a while. your email didnt work so im leaving a note. i was wondering if i could have the password to your diary?my email is : [email protected]

from onecutabove :

sorry I messed that up- typing too fast. I was going to say you remind me a lot of myself when I was on drugs. I did crack pretty seriously for about a year and it took of my life like meth is for you. It was all I wanted and I thought it made my shitty life a little more bearable. I couldn't realize that in reality it was just making things 50 million times worse, making me put myself into really shady situations, lose all respect for myself and my body, and lose all control I ever had. I fucked up really badly and I hate to see you go down the same path. I've been reading your diary for a really long time and it pains me to see you come to this. They say that crystal meth is the hardest drug for people to quit next to herion and that only something like 20% of users will stop after starting. That statistic, to me is very disheartening. I'm not trying to scare you, and I know its not what you want to hear while you're using, but take it from someone who's been there and didn't want to hear anyone else's opinion when I was in your position -- you need to at least try to stop now while you're not very deep into it. Because if you keep on doing it, it's going to pull you under and what you could have done with your life is going to be no more. I almost lost everything but I had the opportunity to go to college and leave behind all the bad shit in my past (including hard drugs) and I took it. yeah, I still have user dreams and I think about it sometimes, but I believe I've changed enough to not need to do it and I think I might not even want it anymore deep down. But I guess who knows until that pipe is shoved in my face if I could turn it away or not? Please take some of this to heart and leave me a note back, or at least let it sink in a little. As for this Joe thing, I know its going to be hard, but he's got a girl, honey, you gotta leave him alone. It's gonna cause you too much pain in the end if you try to pursue things anymore with him. Also, think about if you were in her position, how you would feel. No one wants to be that girl, to know your man isn't happy with just you.

from onecutabove :

I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. You remind me so much of myself when

from purgingme :

you can get and stay off those drugs i know you can. i just hope you dont go right back to b/ping. mel, your such a strong person. you have been fighting for so long. im alway proud of you when you take steps in the right directions. like your meetings, such a good idea. i have faith in you. xo sharla

from mylostangel :

picking was one of my favorite parts....just sitting there for hours. be careful though, i still have what i call "meth freckles" on my knees and stomach

from purgingme :

i hope your dad gets off your back. i understand having no money and such habbits. though i hope you stop using. that shit is so bad for you. but you know that. take care of yourself. xo sharla

from mylostangel :

i dont know if you remember me or not, its been a long time. but i've played the meth game...if you ever want to talk about it you can e-mail me at [email protected]

from purgingme :

im sorry things are so shitty. im sure julio wouldnt just stop seeing you. let me know how things go and take care of yourself. i feel so bad for you. you deserve to feel better. xo sharla

from purgingme :

proud, happy and hopefull thoughts from me tonight mel. i knew you had this in you. best of luck and love. xo sharla

from raven72d :

A password, please...

from raven72d :

How have you been? I've missed you.

from regenschirm :

Hi... ive been reading for ages ;-) could you please give me your password again? [email protected] thx!

from purgingme :

what to say.... just that im proud of you for staying in treatment. and that i hope you kick this ed in the ass so you can become the person you want to be. xo sharla

from purgingme :

im proud of you. xo sharla

from purgingme :

i hope your ok, im worrie for you. i dont leave notes for you cause i dont know what else i can say that means anything, but im here and thinking of you. xo sharla

from ilubjermy956 :

melissa, i'm sorry for being so invisible all the time. you're not a disappointment or a fuckup for wanting to leave. it's okay that you're not ready to give up your behaviors; i know how that is. just remember that i care, okay? & i'm here if you ever want to talk, just drop me a note or an email: [email protected]. please don't hesitate if you ever need someone to talk to.

from purgingme :

a good day (to me) is better than three shitty ones. i can see that your depression is lifting a little, just from reading your diary. i hope its the truth. sending my love and good thoughts. xo sharla

from purgingme :

hey girl. i just wanted to send my love and support. i hate groups too, but if you try and open up they can help. i hope you find some peace. you deserve some rest from all of this. take care. send an adress if you want. xo sharla

from purgingme :

im so proud of you, im sure it must suck but your there. your walking a path towards recovery. and i know that girl who has a fighting spirit and is stronge willed. she just went away for a while, but i see her comming back. much love. xo sharla

from purgingme :

give me an adress so i can send letters. xo sharla

from its-all-n-u :

can i have ur password and user name?

from purgingme :

i hope you go, i hope you get better. i will be keeping you in my thoughts. if you go, let me know, if you want so i can send letters and what not. take care please, xo sharla

from purgingme :

i hope your ok. i know things are shit right now and i truely hope things will get better. have a little faith in yourself. xo sharla

from purgingme :

its good to cry mel. let some of that shit you have built up out. i hope your feeling ok, i know the weekends are hard. catch me online for a chat. xo sharla

from purgingme :

i wish i could give you a hug. your doing the right thing even though its hard. i just want to see you get better. im thinking of you. mybe we can play some spades one of these days. i want my partner back! xo sharla

from purgingme :

i am so F**ing proud of you my friend!!! i know it must be so scarry to finnaly be getting treatment for just your ed but i know you are so stronge and will do well. look how far you have come through all the shit in your life. things will be better, i hope i pray for you. xo sharla

from celticshadow :

certainly. this | life

from raven72d :

if you must purge...protect your teeth.

from purgingme :

mybe a day program would be good. have you and julio talked about that. i want you to get better so much. you are to beautiful to live your life like this. thinking of you. xo sharla

from purgingme :

i wish you could just drive to arizona and stay at my house. rest, do what you want. i do have an extra bedroom after all. really if you want to get away you can. im always here for you dearest. i hope to see you online soon so we can talk. or mybe even talk on the phone. i do have free long distince.so if you want im here. im thinking about you and sending you all my love. xo sharla

from purgingme :

i hope things work for you at your sisters. mybe she will give you the support you need. thinking of you. xo sharla

from purgingme :

hi mel, its been a while huh. im sorry that things are so shitty for you. if i could i would take all your pain away and carry it for you. hopefully i will see you on aim so we can talk soon. i love you very much. xo sharla

from celticshadow :

I wish I lived nearer to you, so I could just drive over and give you a huge hug and tell you it's going to be ok. I had no idea what it was like in your house. -_- I'll be here for you, ok? PM me any time.

from purgingme :

i am so proud of you for standing up to your dad! mybe a session with the three of you and julio would be a good idea. someone needs to put them in place. a family should be supportive and yours is not. im so sorry for that. your in my heart. xo sharla

from purgingme :

i care about you and if i were there i would give you a huge hug and tons of love. this you need and deserve, your just around a bunch of punks. take care. you are so so much more. xo sharla

from fluency :

argh! i unlocked it, but i guess it didnt register yet. upside, down.

from purgingme :

not to push not at all, but have you thought about ip again. i dont know if its right for you at the time but your weight gives me a fright, plus your not eating. sorry to state the obvious but i care about you and i worry for you. please take care. im sure things will work out with you and your friend. you deserve a friend. xo sharla

from purgingme :

i miss talking with you. i hope to see you online soon. i am so sorry that your family is being so terrible. i have been there in a way and it brought me down so low i wanted to see the whole house go up in flames with all of us in it. your independence is important, not what your mother says to you. i am so proud of you for not purging. you are so stronge, i know you cant fight this. i hope you can open up to your new friend it sounds as if she will be there for you. its important to have good friends and it seems like you have found one. take care of youself. thinking of you. xo sharla

from mylostangel :

had to reboot the computer, lost everyone's password, cani have it again (for like the forth time because i keep losing it)

from purplexhair :

can i read?

from purgingme :

i think you are beautiful inside and out.

from purgingme :

what can i say that makes any difference. you are trying and that is huge, even if its not going to well. you need more support in this, i wish i could lend you the courage to tell your dad. still you didnt cut yourself, and that is a wonderfull acomplishment. :) thinking of you dearest. xo

from purgingme :

im so proud of you. but you never answered my question. did you get my package?

from purgingme :

i do think your sister is being a bit selfish but its not in your hands. dont put this burden on you. i just wanted to know, did you get my package? if not i need to track it so let me know. xo sharla

from purgingme :

you dear are headed for better things. take this time to rest and feel better. missing you. xo sharla

from soxconfused :

Sorry to ask this again since I just started reading, but when my computer crashed I lost all my un/pw for the diaries. Do you mind sending it to me again? My temp email is [email protected]. Thanks!

from purgingme :

i do believe that you can do this. treatment will be hard. probably harder than you even think but worth it all the more. you are a great person, likable and loveble all the more. it is this sickness that has hidden it (you) from you. i think you are amazingly stronge and wonderfull. hope to talk to you soon. i miss our little talks. and we need to go kick some ppl's ass at spades. xo sharla ps: silly i have your pass word and user name for quite some times now. :)

from dooney :

love you mehl. remember, i gave you my cell number if you need anything.

from purgingme :

hi dearest. in response to your entry the meds could be making you loose weight. side effects you know. but the hair loss, you know what its from. im glad your taking your ip into your own hands, julio is lazy you know. when are you leaving to see your grandma? let me know. i miss you. xo sharla

from purgingme :

mel, where the hell are you. i am very worried i have not seen you online anywhere for days now. i hope you are ok. just please drop me a line to let me know you are ok, or if your not tell me too. i have been thinking about you all the time, and i dont know what to do. i have tried to email you but your email doesnt work anymore. so i wont get into much here but i do hope that your getting through this. please do not hurt yourself. i love you so much. xo sharla

from purgingme :

i need your password again. sorry, im to lazy to email people. i have got aim now so mybe we can talk some time. i hope your ok. xo sharla

from onlylittle :

user: pink pass: vanilla delete this note, i have stalkers! .ol. ps: can i have yours?? [email protected]

from happydiary :

Hey there, I was hoping you'd give me your pw again. I need to catch up! TY! -Dani [email protected]

from mylostangel :

can i have your password again?

from fluency :

hey man. no problem. password is upside, down. xoxo.

from raven72d :

I hope you'll let me have a password...

from comfortm :

i had to lock my diary. heres the username:thiscantbe password:life please keep reading!

from just-fine :

Did you change the username/password? Could i please have it if you don't mind? :) Love always, xxx

from just-fine :

Just because you very rarely reply to my notes/guestbook messages. But don't worry about it - i know how hard it can be sometimes. Also, i just noticed you added me to your profile - please don't feel you have to read my diary just because i left you that note! I didn't mean to make you feel guilty or anything, i'm sorry. Mehl, I hope your okay. Well, as okay as you could be. I worry about you so much. I'm going to sound like a complete hypocrite here but please please, let yourself be helped. You are worth so much MORE than this eating disorder. <3 xo

from mylostdream :

bookmark.

from purgingme :

i dont have your passwords on hand right now so i dont know how you are. but i do hope you are well, or at least holding on. love you much, sharla

from feelsnothing :

hey! I used to have you on my favorites list but I lost all my passwords including yours....so can I PLEASE have it...I love your diary! [email protected] I'll try and email you again.

from just-fine :

do you hate me? I care alot about you. I just get the feeling that you don't like me. xo

from krichelle :

hey sweets.. i did.. something? who knows what? to my computer and lost all my saved passwords.. if you could give me an email, that'd be great. [email protected]

from teekessel :

hello babe :) i read u all the time, but have a new pc now and lost ur pw. so could u please please pllleease send it to me at [email protected] :)

from autumn-death :

Damn girl! Sorry, I've been meaning to email you and give it to you. u: stella p: star How have things been for you lately? I hope superb! xoxo - mere*

from xredbracelet :

Depression and sex drive go hand in hand. I think if you're losing it it just has to do with stopping the meds and being depressed..nothing else. When I got really bad my drive went way out the window. It'll ome back though. Just be ready to fuck when it does

from zerodoll :

i tried to email you but it wouldnt work so could you send me your pass word? you can send it to [email protected] thanks love, sharla oh and i hope you are doing well. much love.

from happydiary :

This is really quite embarrassing, but I've deleted my page with all my passwords on it and now I'm sort of confused. (I feel so stupid). Anyway, would you mind sending me yours again? Sorry! I understand complete;y if you don't want to. Thanks! -Dani

from happydiary :

Hey sweetie! Thank you so much for your sweet message. I would absolutely love to check out your diary. If you wouldn't mind giving me your password that would be great. You could email me: [email protected] or leave it in my g-book. Hugs! -Dani

from peacocktears :

ghdgh

from pinksublime :

hey! i was wondering if i could have your password... my email is: [email protected] thanks... xoxo

from rainbowsix :

Hey Mel...I'm so sorry you're in so much pain :(...I did a little research and I think you should check out this link cuz it sounds like what you have - http://www.edgarcayce.org/health/database/chdata/data/prscia3.html About halfway down the page it seems to get more relevant...take care...and see a doctor if you can about that...

from emmazchaos :

sorry i'm not one of your favourite diaries anymore. =(

from feelsnothing :

Hey! I lost all my passwords...can I please have your username/password again? [email protected]

from happydiary :

Hey! Just wondering if you wouldn't mind sending me your password? Thanks! [email protected]

from mylostdream :

just a bookmark so i know who i've sent my un and pw to already and who may request in the future...

from dishdeter :

I'm sorry, I never did get a username and password from you, but you may have sent it to my work address. Please send it to me at [email protected], if you don't mind. I'm worried about you, and miss reading you. Take care of yourself.

from onecutabove :

I was wondering if I could get your password from you?

from delicategirl :

Hi hun, I was wondering if I could have ur pword. I'm sorry you felt the need to lock ur diary. I miss reading you so much. take care love Emma xxooo

from green-haze :

Hey! could i have your password/username please? if you'd rather email it's [email protected] :) Linda

from abbeylou :

hey! I've been reading a very long time now and was wondering if you'd give me your password. You can e-mail it to me at [email protected]

from onecutabove :

I've been reading your diary for a long, long time, and I was wondering if you'd give me the password. I'm really worried about you, please take care of yourself. You deserve more than this eating disorder hell. I also tried to e-mail it to you, and it said your address doesn't exist?

from feelsnothing :

hey! Can I have the username and password please? I think you emailed it to me but it doesnt seem to be working. [email protected]

from rainbowsix :

hi :) if you're giving it out, i'd love to have your un/pw :) hope you're ok...(email me at [email protected])

from hungry-hippo :

could i have your password? :) hope you're ok...

from lilgirl-lost :

hey i noticed you locked your diary since your last time.. can you send me the name/pw?

from hopesfire :

do you feel like you're letting everyone down? sometimes i find that i imagine pressure that isn't really there... my self-image is poor, and so i don't feel like i deserve the things that i have. so when someone reaches out for me, i end up hurting them because i feel like i'm failing them. in your case, even if you're really under that pressure, i don't think that it's worth it. your health is on the line. your life may be on the line. maybe you should work on your independence a little. don't worry about others. you haven't done anything wrong. just calm down and focus.

from dooney :

hey, it's dani... you knew that already. *love* i'd like to keep up with you if it's okay. i don't make it to the message board hardly at all anymore. i'd like to be let in when you lock your diary, if that's okay with you *much love*

from autumn-death :

Hey I hate to burst your bubble, but bulimia does fuck up your teeth. I threw up 2 or 3 times a day for 6-8 months and I have 17 cavaties and a rotting tooth.

from autumn-death :

i hope things get better for you. i hope you can go to someone and cry your heart out in their arms.

from emmazchaos :

Perhaps the reason why Julio isn't filling up his appointments like he used to (if I interperated your entry right) is because other people've realized what a complete bitchtard that man is and refuse to go to him anymore. God, I'm so sorry you can't get another therapist. I'm proud of you though for yelling at him. That asshole deserves it. You stood up for yourself and that in itself, is a small step closer to recovery by showing you truly want to get better and are tired of his bullshit.

from hopesfire :

He loves you. Matthew 7:7 - "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." You're in my prayers. Seek Him.

from mylostdream :

i need to check this thing more often...

from delicategirl :

I think I sent you the password and I'm so so so sorry if I didn't. I've been so dissorientated lately. the user name for you is mylostdream and the password is hope. The reason I've locked the diary is because I've been so paranoid lately that someone has found it. I hate having it locked so this will probebly only be temp. xxooo Emma.

from comfortm :

hi i noticed i'm on your friends list...i had to lock my diary for personal reasons for a week or so so i am giving you the password etc... username: thiscantbe pass:life keep reading thanks.

from hopesfire :

Ecclesiastes 1:2 - "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher "Utterly Meaningless! Everything is Meaningless." ... Yeah, Solomon was a pretty worldy dude. God gave him wisdom and he chased the world with it. He became a prosperous guy... But he was never happy. I looked up "meaningless" in my Bible's concordance to find that verse, because i didn't know exactly where in Ecclesiasties it was. I looked up "hope" afterwards. It's mentioned in the Bible a good deal more than "meaningless". There are so many hope verses there. Many which are in Psalms... but anyway, this one stood out ... Psalm 33: 21 "In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD , even as we put our hope in you." ... Hang in there

from kacklefight :

holy moley! 586 entries...i bow to you

from burningdoubt :

I can sympathise with getting a job recently. Every day is a fight for me. I want to break down. I want to quit. I want to give up... But i need to be strong. Hang in there. Things will get easier. I hope you don't mind my dropping around every once and awhile. Take care.

from hungry-hippo :

Guestbooks are down for some reason. But I wanted to say... oof. That sucks about Starbucks. Hugs to you. I'm catching up on your journal, so i'll be here for you again. :)

from officegal :

oh darling.im sorry. i wish i could hug you. i read you. i hope you dont mind. please accept this e hug(((((((((((mylostdream))))))))your beautiful

from pleasediana :

i've moved xredbracelet

from pleasediana :

hi. i just wanted to let you know that i'm bipolar and i have ocd (among other things) and i was taking topamax there for awhile. it's a mood stabalizer...most bps take it i guess. i'm sorry no one informed you that you could be bipolar..etc. that's what happens when you aren't 18. they think it's ok to keep that from you. the perks with being 18..they can't tell ur parents anything and they are more open about thigns. just remember to ask questions. that always helps. it's almost like they are forced to tell you because what are they going to do? lie? yeh probably..

from screemingink :

bright eyes is amazing. dashboard confessional is also beautiful. and girl interupted is also a good movie. very nice diary. xoxo, Miss Takes

from krugerpak007 :

I hope you feel better. I wish there was something that I could do. In the meantime I will be here to listen/read. Take care, Kathy

from mistychristy :

i love your diary

from epiphany1492 :

I locked my diary. If you ever really read it, IM for a password. I really feel for you when you write. I really do hope you can cope and get through your troubles. IM- epiphany14926

from krugerpak007 :

Just came across your diary and am addicted already. please take care of yourself!:-) Kathy

from toshchaya :

Your diary is amazing; I love how you write! You should write a book someday! Good luck with your life, hun!

from mylostangel :

(hugs)

from flioaemo32 :

will you runaway with me?

from a-fairy-tale :

I know I'm just another diaryland stranger but..I love your diary. And I cry with every entry. This may not mean anything but.. I love you! As do tons of others. Thick or thin, you are beautiful, and don't let anyone tell you different. I'm just so scared for you right now. --To the world you may be one person.. But to one person you may be the world-- Please help yourself and let others help you. <3 Jaclyn If you ever need talk..

from fluency :

had to lock my diary. username: upside password: down. please delete this once you get it. thanks! xox

from luckyrachel :

Welcome to the no more cuts diary ring. I wish you happiness, and success with not cutting. Have you ever been to www.anorexicweb.com? Check it out if you haven't.

from mylostdream :

my god I'm an idiot. I didn't even know i had this. I just read all the notes to me now. Thank you all for your encouraging words. This is a neat little communication thing. what an ass i feel like for not saying anything to all of you. I'm so sorry. as for the questions what kind of steps do you take to recover from bulimia?

from pepsi-fruit :

Hullo! Just stumbled on your diary. I have to see the school psychologist occassionally too. I think most of them are idiots. :P

from sb1rustybg :

hey.... i'm a 18 year old bulimic in recovery for the past five months...and i just wanted to let you know that i read your diary and that i think it's awesome. I mean, all your pain is really inspiring...that you've lived through all that. I used to think that my life wasn't worth living and that i was the most worthless thing on the face of this god-forsaken earth. Now i know different. I have such a freedom...i'm learning a new way to live. What i once thought impossible (happiness) i now find is definately possible. I am happier than i ever remember being...i am FREE,...free to love myself. There IS something better than what you're living now... But you have to want it with everything you're made of. Recovery definately isn't easy. It has been hell for me...but i know that my life will keep getting better and better the longer i stay out of my disease. Write me a note...i'd love to hear from you. ask questions if you have any... I'll keep reading your diary.

from saftey-pin :

doctors scare me

from simplyme637 :

Dang, that sucks wiht the signs, I would burn them so fast, my moms a bitch too, you're not alone out there, believe me. My mom hasn't goen to signs, she would miss seeing me cry when she yells. Keep up, think positive, eventually you'll be 18 and out of there, personally, I'm counting the days...

from pixxieblue :

i really enjoy your diary. i can appreciate the suffering you endure. i wish i could say something positive, but i'm sort of in the same situation as you and positive thoughts come hard. please take care, though. it's nice to read a diary that i can relate to. it gives me something to look forward to. "if you were to become a bird and fly away, then i would become a tree that you could come home to." -Runaway Bunny (that phrase gives me hope for some reason.)

from simplyme637 :

I just wanted to tell ya I really like how you set up your diary, it looks really cool.

from ruka-chan :

I feel really really stupid for asking this but...what's Emo???? I hear it all the time, and all I know is the sesame street character *Hides* Dun hurt me!

back to mylostdream's profile
recommend this diary to a pal?

Other diaries starting with the letter:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

Back to Diaryland