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messages to ncss:
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from swimmmer72 :
it's hard to not get swept up in work challenges and demands. they are pretty pervasive. BUT, you are right. look at the blur of the last 5 years and ask yourself how much of your time ended up being your own? that balance is important. good luck! :)
from narcissa :
well i will still be reading your updates! and even though we're in such different places, i always relate... same age, i guess. have fun.
from swimmmer72 :
what city are you in? i can appreciate the remoteness of being on the road. 4 weeks? wow, that's a long time. i hope you have lots to explore! :)
from libbyo :
I am back at D-Land and just thought I would stop in and update, enjoying your entries!
from swimmmer72 :
i know what you mean. i'm working on almost 4 and a half years, and while it seems like nothing has changed, i'll go back and read some old entries and realize how much has. enjoy your travels!! it sounds like a good time!! :)
from swimmmer72 :
it sounds like you have some confidence issues. i don't know where they are coming from; i've been reading your diary for a couple years and you ALWAYS come across as organized and thoughtful in a way i wouldn't think you'd have to worry about it. BUT, that's easy for me to say, huh... all i can say is don't be afraid to discuss the things you know and/or care about, and little by little, you'll realize you have a lot to offer. hang in there! :)
from bonkrood :
Thinking of you.
from swimmmer72 :
it must be the nose in the middle of your forehead that scares them away. WHAT? you don't have a nose in the middle of your forehead? well, then, unless THEY have a nose in the middle of their forehead and they are desperately seeking someone else that also does, i'm guessing that you'll just have to go with your good looks, intelligence, and overall sensitivity, and maybe just a small dose of patience, as there is bound to be someone smart enough to recognize that out there somewhere. hang in there, someone worth having will come along when you least expect it. :)
from bonkrood :
Hi there, I didn't know you were posting again and I just read through your recent entries and I wanted to say welcome back and I'm sorry you're going through some tough times. Take care.
from f-i-n :
beautiful words
from sknnybmbntch :
Hello! Glad ya responded, hehe! But anyway, I'm writing at LJ now. I know, I know. I can't stay at one place. But the address is http://livejournal.com/users/aim1981 and if you just happen to have one, add me because it's "Friends Only".
from swimmmer72 :
don't regret the posting. you said it, it's out there. now, rather than second guessing yourself, make sure your head is in the right place so when the guy that really deserves a great person like yourself comes into your life, you'll be ready. :)
from sknnybmbntch :
I'm glad all worked out with your dad. That must've been extremely scary.
from swimmmer72 :
i'm glad things worked out for your family and your dad! pretty scary, stuff! sounds like your dad is made of the right stuff! :)
from swimmmer72 :
you absolutely have to take care of your own needs! and if your fellow team members aren't pulling their weight, you'll just have to make them understand where the boundaries are. good luck!
from swimmmer72 :
RE: "this is great and sucks at the same time." i know the feeling,... i EXACTLY know the feeling! good luck! :)
from awnery :
2/12/06 - good to see you girl!
from swimmmer72 :
welcome back!!! yep, some of us are still around, and it's good to hear from you! sounds like things are going well! :)
from swimmmer72 :
thanks for the comment!! there's a recent pic of me (6/04) on entry #1422, posted on 11/19. now you can put a face on the mess i call my diary. ;)
from swimmmer72 :
enjoy it while you can! i used to look a good 10 years younger than i actually was, but it's starting to catch up with me. :)
from swimmmer72 :
you are right! dating's NOT like riding a bike. it's more like walking. one step at a time is the only way to figure it out. good luck, i know the feeling! :)
from swimmmer72 :
happy birthday!! i hope it's a good one!! :)
from preciousgift :
Happy Birthday!
from elliorange :
♥ Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoy your special day!
from bluecharis :
Hi there and Happy Birthday to you! I hope, your special day is going to be filled with joy and heaps of gifts!! All the best to you, greetings from Germany, love, Charis :-))
from mentalblank :
This is very true, things can ALWAYS be worse! At least we HAVE coffee! At least we HAVE water!! At least our income doesn't depend on our ability to brew coffee and not burn the joint down! Hee hee!
from swimmmer72 :
"I'm confused because I'm not feeling stress or anxiety....just thoughts" that confuses me - aren't stress and anxiety bad things? and what's wrong with thoughts? i wish i had a lack of stress, although maybe lack of would worry me, too. enjoy it while you can; i don't think stress is ever that far away. :)
from swimmmer72 :
great entry!! it shows a lot of growth on your part. letting go is hard to do, but you are doing it in the right way and for the right reasons. :)
from swimmmer72 :
and winter only lasts, what, 8 months up in the great white north? sorry, it isn't much better here across the pond. :)
from swimmmer72 :
good for you!! :)
from swimmmer72 :
there are very few things in life that are an absolute necessity, but have a safe, secure, calming place to come home to at night is one of them. i know that i owe much of my current happiness to living in a place that i really enjoy, and have pretty much complete peace of mind at. good luck finding a new place. you are making the right decision. :)
from swimmmer72 :
very true. i guess that means not just writing about it, too. :)
from swimmmer72 :
that's a good point, about sparks. i think i naturally do it in the year or three afterward, like most people, but eventually, the image fades and someone new comes into my life. too many sparks is almost the same as not enough, the end result being sparkless. it's been 5 years since nic now, and i'm feeling pretty free and ready for the next spark, when and if it comes. the thing with chemistry, you can't invent it or deny it's existence.
from swimmmer72 :
GOOD for you! it's a question of valuing your own time, and if you don't do it, no one else will. you are right to feel good about it. :)
from swimmmer72 :
as one who has enjoyed your updates in the past, i'm glad to see you continuing, even if it is on a more limited basis. i agree with you, i think it will always be nice to have someplace like d-land to write in when the mood strikes! :)
from elateddream :
I'm back, now.
from swimmmer72 :
re: washing dishes/your new life. i used to feel the same thrill when i got my very own lawnmower and started mowing my very own lawn. unfortunately, the stinking grass kept growing, week in, week out. bah humbug. glad to hear you are happy!! :)
from eternalhaze :
I did, I did. I saw you too! Very weird, you lead me up to the stage :)
from swimmmer72 :
sounds like you are keeping yourself pretty well grounded and happy. i think if your job ever shows some real stability, you'll find that making long range plans is easier, but you are dealing with it extremely well, as is. i hope you don't stop d-land, but i understand the feeling. i haven't thought about stopping, but i do go through long stretched with no motivation to write. good for you, nicole, i'm glad to hear things are going well. :)
from swimmmer72 :
yes, i've been there. uncertainty with work is a real stresser. i hope things stabilize for you so you can worry about the other things in your life, LIKE THE REST OF US!! :)
from swimmmer72 :
as far as fate goes, trust your instincts. maybe you missed an opportunity, maybe it was a good thing you did. i think you only have to worry if you are bailing time after time, and it seems like you have taken your fair share of chances. relax, don't second guess yourself, and be sure that there will be more chances!! :)
from swimmmer72 :
i'm very sorry for your loss. :(
from swimmmer72 :
tease. :)
from a-splinter :
Because I can't sign your guestbook "this fast!" I'm leaving this note, here: Well... if you should need help, feel free to e-mail me. The off still stands. Take care.
from swimmmer72 :
sounds like you need to choose some priorities. no matter what anyone else says, they are still YOUR priorities and you need to be the one that picks them. i know it's not easy - i wrestle with it, too, and so does everyone else. you are right, though, it is tough to decide what has to go so that you can move on with the future. but you have to do it or you stagnate. feel free to ask me anything, i'll help if i can.
from swimmmer72 :
Happy Birthday!!! i hope 25 is good to you, too!! :)
from jen69 :
happy birthday. hope you have a great day
from mindspin :
nic, i'm going to reply more later, but the recent note you left me hit it right on the money. no lie, that was the best note EVER. i even copied & pasted that, and saved it on my desktop. it really opened me up and left me very optimistic about my spring semester...thankYOU.
from swimmmer72 :
duh, i just figured out you had a BUNCH of pics, and figured i better write back and mention something besides the kitchen. ALL your pics and rooms look nice. still waiting for those HOT closet pics!! :)
from swimmmer72 :
nice pic of your kitchen! BUT, show us the picture that REALLY tells us something about your yourself! yes, your closets!!! no, actually, your BEDROOM! hey, nic, show us anything you want, you take great pictures! :)
from swimmmer72 :
you seem to have good instincts, and i'm glad you have trusted your gut. once you do, don't second guess yourself. lots of times, the end result is not immediately apparent, so be patient. i hope things work out for you as you move onto the next stage. :)
from swimmmer72 :
it is fair and allowed and unfortunate, BUT, sometimes the timing is just not right and you were smart enough to realize that and strong enough to tell him. not everybody would have, but it isn't fair to sort things out while somebody else is waiting to see what's going on. you have a lot going on and it makes perfect sense to sit down and sort it all out before you get involved with anyone. any relationship you do have, has a much better chance once you have gotten yourself sorted out. you did the right thing. :)
from swimmmer72 :
hey, you can write whatever you want in my notes, that's what they are there for. besides, you always write nice things. i'm just happy to provoke some thought, which you also do for me. :)
from swimmmer72 :
yep, some alone time to sort things out is always a smart idea. i usually go for a walk or a run, but guelph is even colder and more wicked than erie (but not by much, i'm only about 60 miles due south) this time of year. so, stay inside, snuggle, stay warm and think it all out. it'll work. :)
from swimmmer72 :
NICE PICS!!! looks very pretty. is this in guelph?
from swimmmer72 :
love is also about the truth, and he obviously couldn't handle his. if he truly was ready to change his ways, it would have started with being able to handle your constructive criticisms. you mention perceptions. ok, start with your own. you have good instincts, so, go ahead and trust them. if you take some lumps, then, yes, it is a life lesson, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. you have to be able to trust your heart, and it seems like that's where you are right now. i think you will do fine. :)
from swimmmer72 :
yes, those were his true colors and you do take a big risk if you were to ignore that. i'm happy to see you are wiser than that, i'd hate to see any harm come to you. there are better ways to go. :) thanx for the return notes, they are appreciated.
from swimmmer72 :
you are completely right. (entry about ev/aj) no one who says those types of things, or acts the way he did is deserving of you, or anyone, for that matter. he also sounds a bit dangerous, and it is only a matter of time before the violence is directed at you. maybe he will grow up in time, but i wouldn't let him back until he does, and THAT won't happen overnight. i think you are better off without him.
from swimmmer72 :
trust your gut, take things at face value. you only hurt yourself by overthinking happiness.
from swimmmer72 :
i'm glad to hear things are working out well for you!! your life seems to have taken a very positive turn! :)
from swimmmer72 :
hey, gush away!! why not? i'd rather read about a success than the opposite.
from swimmmer72 :
i know what you mean. there are definitely times, places, and situations where it's just plain nice to have someone to cozy up with.
from swimmmer72 :
yes, dating sucks. it is demoralizing, frustrating, discouraging, etc. etc. BUT, don't give up, bcuz somewhere out there, there are several someones who can make it worthwhile. you don't know who or where they are, or when they will appear, but be patient, get to know your own desires, and make yourself the best person you can be. then, when you least expect it, it'll happen. or so we can hope...:)
from elanorblooms :
wow! thanks for the compliment! :) I'm enjoying yours as well
from swimmmer72 :
letting go takes time, but you have to be sure it doesn't consume you in the process. try setting a deadline of some sort, for the day you HAVE to put it in the past. maybe that will help.
from swimmmer72 :
you go girl!! i used to love moving, all the excitement of a new place and the energy that goes into any change! be patient, things are going to work out GREAT!! :)
from swimmmer72 :
see? didn't that feel better to write about what you need to think about? i hope so, and i'm glad you didn't delete it. to be wary of the future is normal - it is all just sooo "unknown", right? thanks for your very nice note. i'm glad what i wrote helped. we are, after all, all in this together writing for a lot of the same reasons, and it is only right to be positive and helpful. things will work out for you, you'll see. :)
from swimmmer72 :
"wary of your thoughts"? isn't that what d-land is for, to kind of let go of stuff and say what you think? are there a lot of people you know that know you have your diary? i know you probably have your own set of circumstances; i am wary of what i say at work, on d-land i am trying to say whatever is on my mind.
from swimmmer72 :
letting go is tough. i've had to do it a few times, and i just had to tell myself that all those old "keepsakes" were holding me in the past. BUT, i haven't gotten rid of them all...not yet
from calogero11 :
thanx for the welcome. your diary is inspirng. Have a good one. ^_^
from calogero11 :
thanx for the welcome. your diary is inspirng. Have a good one. ^_^
from swimmmer72 :
when i'm stressed, or need to think, a run is definitely the way to do it. when i'm REALLY stressed, DQ heath bar blizzard is DEFINITELY a quick fix!! but i need a run to deserve it.
from swimmmer72 :
what did they do with them? (dog owners) they should have been arrested for cruelty to animals
from swimmmer72 :
keep looking for that GREAT apartment and travel light until you find it. you need a place you can relax and be happily stress-free. can't put a price on happiness.
from lonliprnces :
I forwarded his email to every woman I knew who would understand. I think he's probably getting alot of hate mail right now. Yeah, my self esteem was shot down pretty hard, but after hearing all the support from everybody, it made me feel alot better...thank you:)
from swimmmer72 :
ya, baggage is bad. but an unavoidable by-product of life, you just have to learn to deal with it. you sound like you are pretty self-aware. things will work out.
from swimmmer72 :
i know what you mean. i don't think you can really be yourself until you have your own place. otherwise, you just reflect your surroundings and blend into the pack. YAY for independence!!
from swimmmer72 :
you left "i would:" blank!! and then said you have too many thoughts!! i would is one of the most IMPORTANT ones. hey, just challenging you. i enjoy your diary.
from lonliprnces :
Thank you for the kind words. I'm a real mess right now, but I will survive. I'm just not sure how....
from nik-nik-86 :
hey... i went to ur site earlier... its pretty good. Nicoles rule!!
from thinwishes :
You look SO marvelous, sweetie! What a difference! Keep up the good work, girl. XOXOXOXO
from lonliprnces :
Welcome Back:))) I'm glad to see you,really:) I'll be adding you to my favs again, now that I know your new name:)
from ninety8fog :
Hear, hear!! great entry. People have no right to pass judgement when they don't know the whole story. As a general rule, diaries are biased-they only represent the opinions and views of the writer. People who read the online diaries should consider themselves privileged to gain the insight into people's lives like they do. That opportunity should not be taken advantage of by people who don't know when to shut the hell up.
from ninety8fog :
it pisses me off too. It was a total accident when I deleted the other design so this makes me doubly mad because its annoying as hell to have to put up with those things. Im getting a new design soon anyway, so they'll be gone in a matter of days.
from thinwishes :
Nic... How do you find out what terms people are putting in that pull up your diary? I'd like to do one for mine. Curious...
from lifesparkles :
Your note cracked me up! It's so true, I can't believe these girls think they're falling in love with such a sleezeball! It's hysterical. So hysterical that I'm afraid I just might have to watch it again next week! Ohno. I'm headed straight to hell. :)
from thinwishes :
My AOL instant messenger buddy list got wiped somehow. Can you e-mail me your screen name?
from thinwishes :
I've been so focused on this weight diary that I haven't been updating as much as I should. My web log is just html created, so you won't find it on any type of search. I'll check into my diary today. E-mail me! How have you been? I'm going to Chicago in Feb... how far it that from you? Diane
from distortedone :
Amazing... hmmm... Well Miss Nic, you are a pretty amazing woman yourself. I know it's hard, but try not to worry so much about the future. You are a phenomenal person and I'm sure that great things await you. Hugs and kisses... D
from all-knowing :
Woohoo! I just finished reading all of your entries. You ROCK because it got my mind off all of this disturbing terrorism. I like the pics in one of your entries...Looking mighty cute in that blue dress! Take care.
from distortedone :
Hey gorgeous! I haven't seen you online today, so I thought I'd leave a little note to say hi. HI!!!! =-) Lotsa HUGS!
from distortedone :
Don't be so quick to say no one loves you. This notes thing is new, anyway. =-) Thanks for being there to lend an ear... and letting me know that I am a beautiful woman. You are too. I just wish you weren't in Canada so we could meet up for coffee.
from ncss :
no one loves you :)

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