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messages to neon7c:
(click here to add new message):

from jonathan :
My gosh! Over 2000 entries ... I'm getting way, way behind! I suppose I did miss out half of 2005 :(
from rapethismind :
I miss you! I'm adding you on myspace now. :)
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
You know full-well that PW would be all up in your grill if he knew you! :)
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
A-ha! I always knew we were the normal ones and it was everyone else that was bat shit crazy.
from shortst101 :
that really was a cute story, thanks for sharing
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
i'll take 2 xanax plzkthxbye.
from f-girl :
so, i remember the other day you posted that you were number "so & so" for a google search. how do you check that stuff? you are so my internet coach/tutor/goddess.
from candoor :
I enjoyed my brief visit, I hope for more :)
from reflective1 :
That. Is. Hilarious. It made my day
from kellbelle :
{{{{Big Hug}}}} I love you. And you know that everything is and will be just fine.
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
you could just post that present i gave you. hahahahahahahaha
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
If only I would have known you were awake...baby K woke me up at 4:15 and didn't bother going back to sleep until almost 6. *growl*
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
i'd say u were the best thing ;) one day that person that didn't even make that comment will realize it. <3
from reflective1 :
hey! mine was cheese pizza too, surprise, surprise
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
I hope like hell u got the b/day message i left 4 you on AIM around midnight on your special day!!! Our computer crashed big-time yesterday so I couldn't leave a better note :( Hope your day was as wonderful as you are. Love, Amber
from reflective1 :
I know EXACTLY what you mean
from kellbelle :
And I'm Betty Rubble ;) LOL
from f-i-n :
hugs and kisses
from f-girl :
wooo-hooo! i'm wishing you good luck, but not like you'll need it!!!!
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Good Luck!!!
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
N0 way!! I was born on my parents' anniversary as well...except when they divorced my Mother kinda "forgot" about my b-day, go figure :)
from f-girl :
uh, that would be vw buGs, i meant to write, not the bus. sorry! :o)
from f-girl :
two i love (besides vw bus, of course! hee.): jeep liberty and ford escapes. good luck!!
from f-girl :
O-MY-GAWD! let me stop saddenin' up for a second to tell you I WISH YOU ONLY LIVED CLOSER!!!! i stopped by dave's journal once and i read an entry that said he once lived in seattle and he'd like to go back??? (did i read that right, or am i possibly wrong?) well, the two of you move to seattle and you are only about 4 hours away!!!!!!! we will have crazy times together!
from f-girl :
what the hell are they eating? did that girl make him a bloody taco? ewwwwww!
from kellbelle :
Yes, corn meal is made from corn :) Cornmeal is a staple food in many parts of the world, made from maize (corn) that is dried and ground by hand or in a gristmill.Cornmeal is seldom eaten in its dry form. It is usually mixed into boiling water. The meal absorbs the water and forms a thick mush. The mush is known at grits in the southern U.S. and polenta in Italy.
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Yup, f-girl is right! The flour is made from corn or something like that. God, the three of us really are dorky sometimes, aren't we?
from f-girl :
not that i am a crazy, know-it-all or anything, but i did go to a high cshool surrounded by corn fields! yup, actual ground-up corn. but, it's a different type of corn. yes, it's a normal corn stalk and all, but like a different "breed" and then it's dried up and ground up. (how patheic is it that i know that?)
from kellbelle :
Too bad you can't make it to the wedding. We are playing ALLLLLL 80's :)
from kellbelle :
Hey woman. Try club977.com :) That's what I listen to... and I think they have a program where you can download songs to MP3 format.
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
I say post the entry! Of course, I say that for some selfish reasons...like I missed it and curiosity is KILLING me! Besides, our diaries are really for us. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
from fallmode :
i hear ya about this one! oh, and also, i forgot to add in my journal some good news for all of his fans. it's okay that he got kicked off the idol, he adn his band signed a deal. they are planning a release june 7th. the band is called "pray for the soul of betty."
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Don't tell me it's going to be one of those nights when we're the only cool people around...I shaved my legs this morning!!!
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
MISTER ICE CREAM MAN!!! I am mega-jealous! That was my favorite thing about summer here in the south...waiting for that music. Also makes me think of Eddie Murphy's stand up act about the ice cream in Delirious. LOVE IT!
from fallmode :
i just tried to read some of those older ones, and it seems i cannot be a full-fledged stalker... they are not there! when will they fix our diaryland!!!!???!
from ray0flight :
I will never understand what possess people to go for the faux wood treatment.. LMFAO!
from neon7c :
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
...maybe I should go shave my legs or something...
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
*singing badly* tell it to my heart. tell me I'm the only one. is this really love or just a game??? HEEEEEE!!!! Are you as bored as I am right now???? Now that we've already established we're old, but we RULE!
from jonathan :
Hi Darling. Great to see you are still here! I've been sulking for a year. Just about back -unless the Bailiffs take the computer and sell the house :(
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
What a fucking idiot! (Your co-worker, that is!)
from fallmode :
i like to call that medical leave.... if you don't leave, your co-worker's gonna need a medic when you slap the shit out of her!
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
LOL...Mikalah did butcher that song, huh? Alas, American Idol was the highlight of my evening!
from fallmode :
OH MY GOD! i don't know how many times we can say how W-E-I-R-D-L-Y alike we are, but after reading your survey i was in awe. fav flowers: any rose but red (because they are too generic) and gebera daisies! glasses: for reading and driving tatoo: chinese symbol of the season of autumn on my lower back. seriously... are you sure you weren't adopted from the west coast somewhere?????n :o)
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Seriously, we really should consider coordinating some kind of d-land thing. Really. Really, really. Hell, even my man is supportive. Without you guys, he'd have to put up with so much more of my "drama"!
from fallmode :
OH-MY-GOD! as i read your entry i got so excited thinking, "wow, i wanna celebrate st. patty's and her lastt day!!!!!!" :o) you are so right. dl'er party would be the best thing ever. p.s.- i DO have a shirt i made that says "kiss me, i'm german."
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
Pervy is a good thing :)
from fallmode :
yeah, i hate that damn song. the annoying, egotistical guy i wrk with loves it. he is such a dork, too. guess there's lots of 'em out there.
from fallmode :
amen, sister! :o) that's me in a nutshell. p.s.- i tried to get on the 'ol msn last night to talk to you. but i haven't used that thing in ages and it needed a ton of downlaods that took way too long. but i was drinking with you! :o)
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
WOW...I'm gonna have to start taking some of those quizzes! :)
from fallmode :
p.s.- as it turns out, i DO know how to spell never. sorry!
from fallmode :
no way; not this people. i would NEVR get sick of you. hello, i'm a three-journal stalker! :o)
from fallmode :
yay!!!!!!!! now i am jealous! not only debt free, but i soooo want one more tat! i'm so happy for you!!
from sunnflower2 :
I am glad to see your posted recently but sorry to see that things aren't exactly going as you'd like. Hang in there, hon.
from pink-circle :
{Circle Invite}: Hello. I'm speaking on the behalf of "the circle," a writers group. This is an invite to our group. I have noticed your displayed interest in writing &/or poetry. We are doing a reform, to re-form and rebuild our group. Please visit the website, and if you are interested, leave a note to this account. Thank you for your time. -Circle Council
from prowlingleo :
I suppose I could've told you at our other secret place, but oh well, I'm lazy. Email me at prowlinglioness1@yahoo.com and I'll give you my new dland location and passwords.
from lilybow :
oh...dont leave me this way...okay, my email is lilybow@hotmail.com. please let me know where you are going to and do you like the things that life is showing you? anyhoo...we will keep in touch, definitely. you are my comrade in this crazy life of ours, i tell ya!! i've been feeling a bit down lately so i need to keep in touch w/you.
from merslife :
Oh, I guess I should leave my e-mail address like requested if I want a chance of joining you, huh? - a fellow Meredith. merslifemail@yahoo.com
from merslife :
I wanna come too.
from plume :
It's sad when you have to leave a good thing. But it brings the promise of something even better too. Anyway, now that I have played the philosopher, djaliplumeDELETE@THISyahoo.com I hope I can tag along.
from trulypoetic :
migrating is good for the soul....let me know cause i wanna continue to flock with ya! :-)
from prowlingleo :
Of course I want to know where you are. You know the email ;)
from thunderdave :
You know where to find me...Smile, eh? 2 more hours until the reception...God help me
from reflective1 :
Its funny...when we (as people) want to be seen, it seems like no one sees us, but when we are at our most vunerable, open and exposed, when we don't want to be seen as much, there are people that take such joy in our openness. I'm sorry you have to move, but its understandable, considering the situation. If you chose to share with me (and I hope you do, because I feel a certain understanding between you & I)I'd really like that. If not then I wish you the best.
from prowlingleo :
Unfortunately you only have the two options. Remain locked, or private all the entries you want. It could take forever, I know when I did mine I only had 600 entries, and that took a month. Ultimately, the choice is yours. I've tried to leave, set up space somewhere else, but those that want to find you always do. The only sure way is to remain locked.
from ripetomato :
I'd like the password, but only if you feel like giving it to me. laradwyer@hotmail.com
from prowlingleo :
Do I still rate a password? I hope so, I'd be lost without your words. Prowlinglioness1@aol.com.
from shortst101 :
Can I have a password, please, please?
from plume :
Been gone too long. Can't really give advice about the privacy thing. I have considered it a couple of times but I don't think I could ever lock my diary. Just not an option.
from shortst101 :
Sending you a truckload of sunshine and smiles.
from sunnflower :
My father went to that college too. We went back to see it with him about 6 years ago. I enjoyed Scranton. The library is amazing.
from rapethismind :
Life SHOULD have a soundtrack!!! I could ramble off so many songs for so many different times...hehe!
from reflective1 :
I've been saying the exact same thing as far as soundtracks go. I've made 2 soundtracks, so far and they are those songs that make me ache and remember things long forgotten. It does kinda freak me out how much we have in common...
from rapethismind :
No, you can't go!!! :(
from shortst101 :
you boring??? NEVER!
from trulypoetic :
no no no no no...and no! grrr....if my no didn't work I must growl for effect. Oh did I mention I don't want you to go? I'm a stranger?....heck I didn't even know that. :P
from shortst101 :
Umm nope, you shutting your diary down is NOT an option......I for one don't want you to leave.
from rapethismind :
that's the same car my friend has! hehe i love her neon...she calls it mackie. hehehehehehehe
from rapethismind :
a good summer song is where's the love by hanson...but i think of that bc i remember the summer it came out. lol i'm a nerd. :-D
from reflective1 :
::hugs:: in my way, I understand...
from sunnflower :
Hope you find that something that makes your heart sing and that you find it soon. Remember to take pleasure in the small things in your life too while you are waiting for those somethings to come along. Sending some hugs along! :)
from shortst101 :
lots of hugs being sent your way
from rapethismind :
Take meeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from shortst101 :
Raises hand...take me, take me!!
from rapethismind :
Honestly, the stupidity of these people... I don't even know how many I've met that act just like that.
from nicky-d :
France is stalking my diary, too! What's up with that? It's really bizarre.
from sullysmam :
you rant away! anytime. it better off your chest than boiling away inside of you. When i feel rejected i always yell its there loss, makes me feel better for a while. Take care love annmarie x
from lilybow :
last time i checked out, it took me almost 3 years to check back in...just be careful, and hang in there, okay? please...
from bttrflychic :
Hey, thanks for the prayers. Also wanted to let you know that I never received anything in the mail from you yet. I just didn't want you to think I had forgotten to thank you! What address did you send it to? We need to catch up soon! Love you!
from sullysmam :
hey its my birthday on the 27th July! Sorry your having an off day. Hope tomorrow is better for you.Hugs annmarie x
from plume :
I'd smack you, but.. I liked it. Er, not the slapping you understand. What you said. Yes.
from sunnflower :
I think you put your finger on the importance of hope in life.
from sullysmam :
Helo, just wanted to say hi. Gonna try to do a diary later. You have such a way with words did you know that. Its good. Hugs annmarie x
from plume :
Music is powerful. Music is powerfeel. Smiles are good, for all concerned.
from reflective1 :
Sometimes it's like you take my thoughts and put 'em down better than I could...I'm on the same wave length with the music thing...
from rapethismind :
im glad to hear you're doing good. :-D
from bttrflychic :
Sounds like you are having the same problem as me: "are we in a relationship or not?" eh...sometimes men still suck. ((hugs))
from bttrflychic :
Good luck on your trip and stay safe! I love you.
from rapethismind :
beautiful words. :)
from plume :
you know we love you
from reflective1 :
I don't know the answer, but I know when things seem crappy, I think of a line from Jason Mraz's 'Hey love'-"In case you never noticed the path you never chose has chosen you." It just seems to fit almost any situation.
from hushangelz :
Hi, I stumbled across your diary and just thought I'd leave you a lil note to say 'Hi' :D Have a great day!
from plume :
Wow, lifestyles of the rich and famous! Cool pad, moe dee.
from deepbluefunk :
oh, i love your new place--i so know how you feel! and you are adorable. isn't it wonderful to have your own kitchen, your own febreeze? i am thinking happy housewarming thoughts for you, miss meredith. wish i could come visit you & watch your enormous tv. xoxo, kat
from shortst101 :
wishing you lots and lots of luck on the move! It will be great!
from plume :
If there weren't already 5 million of them you could write a song called Stronger. Still good on you.
from shortst101 :
good for you, hugssssssssssssss
from reflective1 :
that's the way it should be, answering to only yourself.....
from lilybow :
self love..ahhh, that can be given and taken so many ways....as for my "off the wagon" stint, its okay, but i am on the edge of it not being okay, or atleast thats how i feel. not really drinking a lot. something stops me from going "too far"...most likely its the constant picture of my son's face in my head. just be careful and choose wisely. stay in touch w/reality and do what is best for you.
from sullysmam :
just wanted to let you know id read your diary, glad youve got some fight.Thanks for the note, i have emailed you.Hugs annmarie x
from lilybow :
"dont tell me why, he's never been good to you, dont tell me why, he's never been there for you, dont you know that why, is simply not good enough. so, just let me try, and i will be good to you, just let me try, and i will be there for you, just tell me why, youre more then good enough...." -good enough-sarah m.
from reflective1 :
its only after I faced the anger I had against the one I loved that I healed...well mostly. You're doing much better with it than I ever did, therefore kudos to you.
from sunnflower :
I hate it when people call me "ma'am". When I'm eighty I still want to be called "miss".
from shortst101 :
We are so much alike
from plume :
I used to never cry. And then I cried a lot. And now I cry when I need to I think. I try to anyway. Yes, great story. Story of my life.
from nightngale :
Awwwww... you made me blush. :) Thanks for the sweet note!
from bttrflychic :
damn good entry, mer. i'm proud of you. love, michelle
from bttrflychic :
xoxoxo Sounds like a good weekend! love ya! Michelle
from sullysmam :
So glad you have talked to your friend. I know how hard it is to do that when walls have been put up between you. You take care annmarie x
from bttrflychic :
I'm so glad you and roomie are on your way to rebuilding your friendship. That is wonderful. Have a great day! love, michelle
from sullysmam :
Glad you feeling good!I like yelling at the top of my voice! Im doing it at the moment. LOL. Hope your weekend goes ok. You take care loads a love Ann-Marie x
from reflective1 :
so many songs that a I know & love. Its like you skimmed my CD collection
from plume :
"girls dem sugar", I don't know the song but I love the title. Hehe.
from shortst101 :
you are truly an amazing person!
from sunnflower :
Have confidence in life - for all its ups and downs - there is a lot of beauty in it too such as the memories you described so perfectly in your last entry. Hugs.
from plume :
Thank you! ...I hope you'll get better dreams. To lift the spirit
from reflective1 :
I studied dreams for a brief period of time, and how to figure their meanings out. I'm not saying I'm an expert, or even good at it, but here's my spin: maybe the storm was a metaphor for your life and the hard times. The death could be a signal of ending the person you were, seeing how today was a good day. It could be an end to the depressed part of you. Maybe this stood for a good thing....just trying to find a silver lining.
from bttrflychic :
Yay! for a good day! When they are few and far between, they truly feel like miracles. I know the feeling. Hmmm...maybe we can have virtual pizza? The drive is a bit far for me to make tonight! LOL xoxoxo Love ya! Michelle
from bttrflychic :
Mer, first of all, I received your package yesterday! Thank you bunches! It is wonderful to receive surprises in the mail. I'm glad that you are taking your life into your own hands now...you are taking control. That is a good thing. Things will be dificult of course, but that is life. You are such an important person in my life and I am still praying for you and love you!
from amber-darko :
Hi! My name's Amber and I'm 23. I am writing a book about my personal account of self hate and self harm. I'd like to include some personal stories from different stages in healing, different sexes and different ages to show that no one is the same, but we all are hurting in ways that we are unable to convey. I do not intend on printing names, there is no length restriction and I will not censor. I have decided to also include poetry or just general opinions. Please email me if you are interested. amberwilliams43@sbcglobal.net
from sunnflower :
Sorry things didn't work out with "the boy". You have lots of people who care about you through your diary and you are right in thinking they know you in a different way then those who know you day-to-day. You're going to land on your feet because that's the stuff you're made off. Hang in there.
from plume :
we carry our burden with a smile for without it we would disappear into thin air. Or something like that.
from oceans-depth :
Sorry things are so raw right now but I am a firm believer that it is better to break your own heart then to have someone else do it for you. atleast you get to keep your pride and self esteem intact, I'm with ya girl I had to do the same thing a couple of months ago. love and hugs xoxox Deja
from reflective1 :
I had assumed as much from frequently reading, but as you and I <i>know</i> each other, and don't <i>know</i> each other, I didn't want to impose. I know you have a network of net friends, but if you every feel the need...you know how you could reach me.
from lilybow :
"mother cant you see i've got, to live my life the way i feel its right for me, might not be right for you, but its right for me.." 'elsewhere'-sarah mclachlan
from shortst101 :
You are a wonderful person!! Truly!
from bttrflychic :
Thank you for the note and prayers...and you are NOT a horrible person...quite the contrary. Love you!
from bttrflychic :
Thanks for the notes and I'm glad you enjoyed the card! you are right...that poem did come from the heart. the good thing is...our friendship has not been affected, which is awesome. Write me an e-mail when you get a chance and tell me about where you are moving etc. You are in my prayers as always! I love you!
from conversedoll :
your words are like drugs doll. keep writing and ill be our biggest fan.
from conversedoll :
your words are like drugs doll. keep writing and ill be our biggest fan.
from reflective1 :
I'm not sure what else to say, only that I read your journal. something in it makes me feel a little more, and currently, that's a hard task....
from plume :
my suicide mix was eels' electro-shock blues. and a simpsons video tape. at least that was kind of original eh. stay strong though
from sullysmam :
Hiya, thanks for leaving the note on my diary i have sent you a email with the password on it. You make so much sense to me, what i mean is you say so many things that are in my head and i dont know how to express it. So thanks :0) you take care x
from lilybow :
i think we are in eachothers heads!! oh sweetie...i too am lost. my identity i feel was left behind w/that popular party girl. and now, i am learning how to live all over again...and its scary. and it sucks. and its lonely! but it has to happen, it just has to! just keep holdig on and being true to yourself and who cares what the others think..nobody knows but you. nobody can live it but you. and again, i am here. cuz i have definitely been there, every stinking day of my life.
from sullysmam :
i relate to so much of what you say, ive always tried to please people and what you said has happened to me time and time again.Hugs x
from bttrflychic :
my swing dance partner is hot! remind to tell you about him later! love you!
from trulypoetic :
i'm lining up for a copy of that suicide mix cd.....see me over here?
from plume :
I'm sorry to hear what has happened. I hope things will be okay. If the sky keeps falling then we'll keep putting it back in place. *hugs*
from bttrflychic :
my advice: definitely throw things in the backyard. it helps me. I throw eggs, but oranges or apples will work too. :-) Hope that helps. I love you and am thinking about you. love, michelle
from lilybow :
i have actually been trying to ween myself off of my celexa for the past few months, but it doesnt work. i have this weird attitude about "having to take pills" to keep me sane. it freaks me out sometimes. but, it also has saved my life. whatever it takes thats legal i suppose. i am here for you. we are a lot alike, my friend.
from prowlingleo :
Guestbooks never work for me, grrr. As I said there, everyone needs time for themselves, and we all know you deserve it. Do what makes you happy. If it's a break you need, then take it. Don't feel guilty about it. Once in a while you have to be selfish, and you've been bending over backwards trying to make everyone else happy. Of course eventually that leads to chaos. If he's 'the one', he'll be there for you when you are ready. If not, it just wasn't meant to be. Be selfish, and do what you must. *Hugs*.
from bttrflychic :
that took courage to say all of that and I am proud of you. I think you are doing the right thing, and I hope your doctor can get your meds regulated. you are in prayers and I love you! love, michelle
from bttrflychic :
xoxo I love you. find me if you need to talk. we can be silly again! love, michelle
from emotivatedx :
awh don't be jealous. your day will come. i promise you. i'm trying to find a scanner.. <3 lotsa love
from plume :
The mind is a strange thing. Sometimes I get dark flashes. Sometimes I think really awful things and then I stop and wonder where the hell that came from. I'm not sure i want to know though
from prowlingleo :
It happens. Sometimes the mind just throws an image or two out there that makes you stand back and really think about where it came from. Happens to me, not often, but it happens.
from plume :
I like the idea of "just driving". In fact it's the only kind of driving I can imagine doing. I'm not sure I trust myself to be in traffic. Maybe some day. But the idea of just cruising.. I like that.
from lilybow :
its understandable to wanna stay in the water. i frequent my "ocean" quite a bit. i think its healthy. just dont take residence there for too long, ya know?
from emotivatedx :
<3 kidnap conor!! that's a great idea! he looks small enough to fit into a sac of some sort. *drool* hmm.. i'll take lotsa pictures..and try to find a scanner =/ if not... i promise you.. i will send you one via snail mail if i have to! <3 love
from plume :
oh I was going to ask about that deathblossom thing too. But I forgot. And now it's too late. When things get worse it just means even more potential for them to get better.
from bttrflychic :
Mer, why does a log-on screen pop up when I go to your diary for "deathblossom.diaryland.com"? I was just wondering if you had a new diary or something. Sorry about the shit at work. I know you don't want to hear this...but one day things will look brighter. I love you and call me if/when you want to talk. Love, Michelle
from plume :
*hugs*
from emotivatedx :
in my town, how could you not!? thanks for the note! =)
from lilybow :
its okay to swim around in depression for a while but please keep your head about the waves. please take care of yourself and keep your spirits in tact. i am here for you.
from bttrflychic :
is there anything i can do for you?
from nicky-d :
I'm not as happy as I must've sounded in my entry. While, for the most part, it was a very good visit, I'm far from happy, actually. :(
from plume :
we'll pick it up and put it back in place again
from bttrflychic :
I'm so glad you are feeling better. And you had such a wonderful V-Day! I'm just so happy for you. Everyone deserves good days once in a while. About falling off the wagon; I really appreciate your note. That's what we are here for...to support each other and give each other a kick in the ass when we need it! ;-) I realize I probably shouldn't have had that glass of wine, but thankfully I don't want anymore to drink. I felt all "weird" in the head when I got home. And good news; Chuck drank the rest of the wine last night so now I won't be tempted with it. So I know it's back on the wagon for me. I hope I haven't set a bad example for anyone struggling with this. What do you think? Sometimes I don't think about consequences until after the fact...hmm...write back! love ya! xoxo
from sunnflower :
Glad you have a great valentine's day!
from plume :
aw happy valentines after all
from plume :
the black cloud. I know it well. But happy valentines nonetheless. Such as it is.
from plume :
put the kettle on! Do you have those commercials in America? The coffee ones.. "what do you give to uninvited visitors". Or something like that. Err nevermind, it's late. I'm going dancing.
from sunnflower :
Those are such cute pictures of you! In your heart of hearts, I hope you do know even when things aren't going the way that you'd hoped, that you do matter and that is a constant.
from shortst101 :
You will always matter
from plume :
If I danced.. and if I travelled.. I'd so be there
from bttrflychic :
I love love love the new haircut! Awesome! Sorry I haven't been in touch lately. Life has been hectic as usual. Which sucks. Damn...I bet your tailbone hurts. So, I think I have the same problem as you...hernieated disk and sciatica...at least that's what the doc thinks. Bless our hearts! Love you!
from shortst101 :
Happy 10th month with the boy. I love the new haircut! And I'd come to Philly to hang out with ya!
from plume :
hot diggity :) I should get you to model the jacket, that'd more popular I bet
from trulypoetic :
I loooooooooooove the new dew...! It's vewy pwetty on yew. :-) Nice to see ya smiling too....
from plume :
happy 10 and may you have many more
from sunnflower :
Sometimes we just have to stay home and skip running around town by ourselves. Hang in there and try to make the best of the quiet time by yourself. I never get that and wish I could have more of it. I guess it's all in the perspective!
from plume :
them's nice boots! And that's not a joke :)
from plume :
OH MY GOD I CAN SEE HER BOOB!!!!11 oh and the janet pic is nice too. No no no no no. That's a nice bag, I think Skye would like it :)
from prowlingleo :
Awe, I say get them. They just scream your personality!
from plume :
you'd look super cute in them and you should get them. This is my unbiased opinion.
from lilybow :
striving for perfection is and was the death of me, i tell ya. being that "good girl" that everyone thinks you are, god..can i relate. stay strong, my friend. you are wise beyond your years.
from plume :
my old classmate just went "it's not supposed to be easy" from the speakers. I hope you find perfection. Or something close that satisfies the needs.
from bttrflychic :
I'm so sorry about your nightmares. They can be so terrifying and paralyzing. I hope you get a reprieve from them soon. If you want to talk, you know how to find me. Love you...michelle
from bttrflychic :
Although I don't know what's going on, I hope you get some rest and peace from your demons. I'd take them away if I could. love, michelle
from plume :
congrats on the phat raise. that's cooler than being cool. I haven't blown bubbles since I was 10 or something. Maybe that's what my life has been missing. Bubbles. Does that sound like a Michael Jackson thought process? hmmmm
from shortst101 :
I'm so glad you are feeling better and WHOO HOOO for the raise!
from plume :
well I'm pretty lucky to have someone as sweet as Skye too :) ...I hopes you'se feelings betters.
from bttrflychic :
We need to have a pajama party. For real. You, me and 10 bottles of NyQuil! LOL I'm so sorry you aren't feeling any better. Rest as much as you can tomorrow and if you have to...take Tuesday off from work. You are sick and that's a legitimate excuse for staying home...don't you think? :-) Thanks for letting me know about my notes link, by the way. Just a silly error I made but I fixed it! Also, I think my guestmap should be working as well! ((((HUGS)))) Love, Michelle
from shortst101 :
Thank you! You take care of you too, ok? You are in my thoughts, hope you are feeling better.
from bttrflychic :
hey. I didn't do a msn search for your diary, however, I do have a new e-mail address through msn and I receive those wonderful "you've got a new note at diaryland" e-mails there. so, do you think maybe since I clicked on the link to your diary from that e-mail, it somehow showed up as an msn search? I highly doubt it, but I just wanted to let you know that. it drives me crazy too when I don't know who is searching for me. feel better! love, michelle
from plume :
get well soon eh.
from thisisjohn :
Danke! <3 <3
from lilybow :
i sure hope you start to feel better. i, too, am a hypochondriac. and i hope your talk w/your roomie goes well. i HATE roommates.(hate is a strong word, but what the hell)
from bttrflychic :
Hey. I'm praying for you. And I can honestly say that I know how you feel. I hadn't decided yet if I was going to write about this or not...but I probably will since it always helps to get things out. But yesterday, I was 2 steps away from walking into a bar. I saw the walls lined with licquor...and it took all the strength I had to keep walking. First time I have even considered drinking since I quit. And the ironic thing...today is exactly 3 months sober for me. I checked my calendar. Let's just try to be strong for each other. If you want to talk about anything...just e-mail me or if you see me online, IM me. I love you. Michelle
from plume :
a good night's sleep is always good. In my experience any sleep is. In fact I'm going to go sleep soon to make the worries go away, yeah.
from bttrflychic :
Thanks, Mer. I don't know what to say either. Maybe it's PMS? I'm just really emotional today! Hope your day is going well! Love, Michelle
from bttrflychic :
Hey, it's okay. My head fucks me up sometimes too. I hope I didn't sound too harsh or anything. After I posted that note I thought to myself, "Michelle, you feel this way too sometimes, and having other people try to point out the good things doesn't necessarily make things better." So, yeah, you may be fine right now as you are reading this, or it may take a couple days. No matter what though, know that we love you. love, michelle
from bttrflychic :
All right girl. Time for me to shake you up a little bit. *I* want to know you. *the boy* wants to know you. Now with the 2 of us, who else do you need? ;-) j/k Your family loves you, your friends love you, and somewhere deep down, I'd like to believe that you love yourself. You have so much to offer to this world...you just don't know it all yet. It will come with time. You are unique. I am unique. If we weren't, just think how boring we would be. I love you! And dammit, time to post that picture! I wanna see the boy! :-)
from plume :
Yes. Change has always scared me. Depression is like a softly choking blanket, but the unknown scares me more than a little choking. *hug* love ya too!
from sylviashadow :
Ah, green nyquil! What an elixir.. take care sylviashadow
from bttrflychic :
Hey! Thanks so much for your notes! I love you too! I'm a little nervous about posting pictures of myself...but I figured what the hell. So how do you like my new template? Take care of yourself! Love, Michelle
from sunnflower :
Feel better and traditions have to morph - that's how they become better and better. Also, that's the stuff of good stories. Hugs.
from plume :
Yay! happy to have helped :)
from plume :
Well you know me, always eager to please :) I don't know much about trance to be honest but check your mail, hope it'll be useful. Hope your throat will be better soon.
from plume :
alritey seems like I'm getting the mix. I'll get back to you tomorrow or something. Unless you've gotten it from someone else by then :)
from plume :
Hmmm I see a "burned with desire [rising star mix]" by armin van burren f/justine suisa" on direct connect. And 3 ones that doesn't say rising star mix. I'm trying to get them, I don't know if I can though. ACtually I'm getting one of them now, but it's one that doesn't say rising star mix. Maybe it is the rising star mix and they just didn't put it in the filename. I don't know. Hmmm. We'll see.
from velvet-heart :
Online I will tell you ok?
from plume :
ick. well the day is over now. we live to see another day. I was in a pretty bad accident when I was a kid. Cars are dangerous.
from plume :
would you be an adult if you thought paper shredding sounded like fun? Hmmm... yes, it seems that Destiny is indeed by Zero 7. It won't be my old school pal on the CD though. But if you were to go and see them live on their next tour then she'd be singing it I supposes. If it's in their set at least. I just looked their CD up on amazon, rave reviews it seems. And my old class mate is touring with them. Hah. Funny. She was such a great girl, it's nice that good things can happen to good people. Thanks for the comment on the pic too :=)
from bttrflychic :
I love you! Thanks for your note and your never-ending (well-apreciated) insight into the issues in my life. Talk to you soon!
from velvet-heart :
Okay? That goes many ways doesn't it? On the surface, yes. Beneath the layers of my skin to my heart, no. I don't want to feel anymore. Feeling brings chaos, trouble, and pain. I'm tired of hurting, and tired of knowing that I bring hurt on others and make them not want to feel anymore. I can't explain to you what's happened, I just... have no words. They are gone. They left when I decided not to "feel" anymore.
from plume :
happy new year! lots of love, for all of us
from lilybow :
happy new years, gal!! keep it safe and sane.
from ihmx100 :
Hey! I got your e-mail, although I've been so busy with trying to "fix" my new template that I kinda have my e-mails on hold for a couple days. Don't take any offense at that...even my family's e-mails are still awaiting a return reply! Anyway, just a quick note to say a couple things in regards to your entries. 1. I'm SO sorry about your back. Trust me, I for one know how back pain is. I hope you are feeling better especially since you are back at work. 2. I also deal with the "don't think I'm a rich snob because of where I live and what I drive syndrome". I want to seem as "normal" as I can. We grew up so poor, you have no idea now. It has only been recently (in the past 5 years) that we have really started rolling in the money, so to speak. We do have a HUGE house, and 4 very nice vehicles, but along with that comes debt. We still don't have money to vacation, etc. Everytime I brought home a new guy or even a friend, I would cringe when they would say, "Man, you are loaded!!" "NO we aren't!" I wanted to scream. So I completely know how you feel. It kinda sucks because I don't want to seem better than anyone else. Anyway, if you haven't checked out my diary lately, I have started a new diary. The link is on my main entry page. I've become quite the html girl lately! I even broke down and bought a gold membership! ack! I know. I have to get pleasure from something, right? LOL Hope you are doing better and I promise to write you soon! Love you and miss talking to you! Michelle
from lilybow :
i am back!! remember me? lilybow. i was off sobering up, getting a boy, and having a baby!! all is well and i am glad to be back!!
from oceans-depth :
Happy Holidays xoxoxo Deja
from sunnflower :
Green cake is good at Christmas - like in a Grinch story. Merry Christmas!
from velvet-heart :
Oh stop being such a fretter miss. It's all good and whateva lol- it's just basically a lot of entries ranting about bad sex and me fingering myself lmfao...
from sunnflower :
It's great you have such will power and self control.
from ihmx100 :
I am so sorry you had such a rough night. But I am so proud of you! To have alcohol in the very next room, and you still didn't drink, that is amazing. You are strong Mer, and you will get through this rough period. Just remember: one day at a time.
from shortst101 :
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and the happiest new year ever.
from plume :
I want your cookies. T...here's a song in there. "My cookies bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like "they're better than yours".
from ihmx100 :
Mer, thank you so much for your note. It certainly wasn't my goal to write the "most beautiful tribute"--I just wanted to say what was on my heart, so that when Jennifer returns from the hospital, she will have this to add to her collection of memories. It means so much to me that you think it is the most beautiful tribute. My only hope is that Jennifer knows just how much his life had already affected us. I'm not going to post this on my diary, because I feel it is her decision how publicly she wishes to discuss the details, but I will share this with you. She went into premature labor due to a weakened cervix. When I spoke with her yesterday, before he was born, she said the thing that hurt her the most was that it was her fault. There was nothing wrong with the baby. Her body just couldn't carry him. It grieved me to hear her say that. I know she must have felt so guilty. However, we found out today that his body was ravaged with infection. So God's will was done. He wouldn't have survived anyway. It always helps to have even more closure to a situation such as this. She is so strong. The burial was this evening. I'm so amazed at how she is dealing with this. She isn't blaming God. In fact, if you remember from my cast entry, she had turned away from God. But yesterday she requested a priest to come visit her in the hospital. Another miracle! God works in mysterious ways! Through this tragedy, Jennifer has hopefully regained her faith. Just keep us all in yours prayers, especially Jennifer and Sam. I know Christmas will probably be difficult for them. Thanks for being such a great friend! I love you! P.S. I mailed your Christmas card today! Sorry it has taken me so long! Love, Michelle
from ihmx100 :
Shopping, ice cream, and a hug sound so good right now. (((hugs))) Thank you for the Christmas card! I'm still addressing mine, so yours will be on its way shortly! Stay safe and warm! Love, Michelle
from ihmx100 :
Mer, so sorry to hear about your cold/flu whatever it is that you have. It must suck really bad. I'm battling a sinus infection right now. Ugh. So glad you and the boy are having such a wonderful time! You sound so happy! Love you, Michelle
from shortst101 :
Big hugsssssss, hope you are feeling better soon
from euphonius :
Awe sweetie, hope you feel better soon! *sending you lots of soup and hot cocoa!*
from heartshaped :
miss you. <3
from sylviashadow :
Yes, tis very cold here as well! I know what you mean..in winter I am layer girl...but it sounds like you enjoy the snow! take care --sylviashadow
from velvet-heart :
Shes just an idget. Fuck her. Or better yet leave her standing on the sidelines and let her feel like she does everyone else. But I seriously doubt it since shes such a pious lil shit.
from sunnflower :
Sounds nice - the snow and the romance. Glad you are having some fun and enjoying the season with a happier heart.
from plume :
aw you're too kind :) .laaast christmas I gaiv you my hart but the verrry next day... ah memories.
from velvet-heart :
I guess some things can't be said. I hope your day goes better than mine will.
from ihmx100 :
You crack me up! Probably because you remind me so much of myself. I truly am sorry that your feet hurt though. That is no laughing matter. I could just see myself sitting here and writing a similar entry. I guess I complain a lot...oh well. We have a right to be in pain, cold, and bumpy and blotchy! ;-) Hope you get a good night's sleep and have a much better day tomorrow. luv ya, Michelle
from plume :
I would say that I had lost the ability to be social too, except I wonder if I ever had it... oh well, I'm working on it. What else can we do. ...I think finding a currency translator is a very very bad idea. Nobody needs to know how much I spent on those dvds, it's just one of those things that are better left unsaid.
from ihmx100 :
oh mer. :-( Now is one of those times that I wished we lived closer to each other. I think we would make great "real life" friends. But, I know how you feel. I'm kinda in that stage right now. I had to deliberately cut my friends out of my life (because of their influence on me), so I can't think of a single person right now in real life that I could call up to go hang out. Anyway, I hope that changes for you when you move. Love ya!
from plume :
Lend me some sugar, I AM your neighbour! hehee I love Hey Ya. The video is irrisistibli. It's just endless fun and catchy and it makes me smile want to dance. And that don't happen often. I haven't heard Headstrong, that was a mistake on my part. Sorry. Dido as right, and nickleback almost right :) shakeitshakeitshakitlikeapolaroid.
from euphonius :
Awe thanks! From what I can see, you're not far behind me on this one. I guess happiness really does happen, eh? Glad everything went well with the family!
from ihmx100 :
Congratulations! I knew his family and friemds would love you!
from ihmx100 :
Try not to worry too much about your nightmares. You are probably still stressed or just plain tired from your long weekend, and that explains why you keep dreaming about your boyfriend. Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving!
from shortst101 :
Happy Thanksgiving! Hugs
from sunnflower :
Hope you have a good Thanksgiving.
from velvet-heart :
I wrote it that way on purpose so I wouldn't get hate mail anymore. *sigh* Jealously runs like a rampant river in some people sometimes, doesnt it? People need to realize that when thet decide to walk away from me, what they are giving up, and when I want to be happy that they shouldn't get so bent out out of shape. I am allowed to be happy if I want to aren't I- I mean without having to ask for approval?
from bipolargirl :
hey there - i'd like to send you an email about my new journal. are you still harmonicflake@hotmail.com?
from shortst101 :
Welcome back, yes you were missed. I'm so glad you had a good time. Hugs
from heartshaped :
thank you. i think that we should talk soon. xo.
from ihmx100 :
Mer, Don't cry! I've only just begun! LOL Seriously, I had no idea that it would take an hour and a half to get through the first 3 months of our relationship, but if it takes that long each night to slowly work through all the shit in my head, I'm up for it. It's festered for close to 2 years now, and I just have to get it all out. I wish I could have said that to him in person, but maybe it's better this way. Just save some tears for later...we haven't even gotten to the chapter on abuse yet. Can't wait to hear about your weekend! (Haven't had a chance to check your update yet) Thanks for the e-mail by the way! Love ya, Michelle
from heartshaped :
not for long. ;)
from crimsonqueen :
I can read your diary just fine.
from shortst101 :
of course we would tell ya!
from velvet-heart :
Well hot shit.. Hahaha Same apt building sounds ten times better than same work place. But.. then again I AM a pervert. But if we worked in the same place, I'd be like what you read in that entry --- I make people laugh constantly because I continuosly make jokes about my sex life and my apparantly still legally seperated husbands teeny weenie pecker wecker. Try this one out :: I'm sitting here doing my norm of either talking to Micah and telling her she's a smoothie or I was reading peoples diaries when he says "Hey c'mere and look at this" I automatically assumed that I knew what he was watching so I of course take my damn sweet ass time making my way to the living room (which is actually right outside of my bedroom door) and then I finally make it in there and he says "Look at this" and pulls down his underwear and I look at him and said "Look at what? Theres nothing there. And I thought you called me in here to look at porno! Fucking bastard" And then just turned around and came back in here and role played with Micah. There! Lol I know I made you laugh.. Oh yea I'm going write an entry about one of my sisters today.. so be prepared.. kleenex's or some other form of tissue might be needed. Love, hugs, and kisses!
from velvet-heart :
Life's lessons are for free, but hugs and kisses last a lifetime. I ♥ you Mer!
from ihmx100 :
Mer, first of all, forget about the AOL diary thing. Although I liked the way they customized your template for you, blah blah blah, I like diaryland much better. Anywho, YES, you, me, and Nicole MUST try to plan some sort of meeting! We are just meant to be like Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica on Friends. Not that we would have their personalities, but you know what I mean. We would have a constant support group...each other! Well, maybe by next summer, possibly spring break I will have some money for a vacation, because it would be so much fun to get together. How you've met Nicole in real life yet? Not me, I'm sure you know the story of how we "met". Gotta update and then go to bed. Sleepy tonight.
from velvet-heart :
Sailing Each day is like the last, The ever repeating past, Never relenting, Always preventing, What happiness really meant. Just one day, my wish would be, To climb aboard a boat, To sail away and be free. But dark clouds block my way, Forcing me to stay, When the dark clouds fade away, Revealing the new day, Something deep inside, Still brings me to a lonesome sigh. The secret I posses, That fills me with distress, To hard to live on, To hard to be strong, But not anymore, I refuse, to fight this war, The short-lived happy times, is what I cry out for. The future comes into focus, And with that unfolds a plan, To sail away on a boat, To a far away land. Sailing away is my way out, Sailing away is just a word I use to lie about, Sailing away is just another cover, So people will not notice, and discover. Sailing away is my suicide, That has a hidden meaning deep down inside, While the waves calm, and begin to yield, My heart starts to unwind, and heal. Now for miles the sea is calm, No more chains, to hold me down. No more pain, will come around. From this day forward, I will be found in the sea, Sailing the constant waters, Living free.
from velvet-heart :
the beauty of your words rape my soul and leaves my eyes bleeding in a dazy haze of red tears. Te amor mi amor. Me llamo whatever you want it to be. I ♥ you Mer! Hang in there sweetheart. You're still awesome in my eyes. [Love]
from ihmx100 :
Mer, thanks for reassuring me that I am not the only one addicted to Nilla Wafers! I can eat a whole box in one sitting! Happy birthday to your Mom. Hope you are doing okay. You don't have much to say so I was a little concerned. Love ya!
from velvet-heart :
Heh. Maybe I do read your mind. But I really do hold so much doubt to myself. Its like heavy rain drops dripping on my soul these days and I miss the me I used to be. The me when I was happy when I first met you and we used to leave each other notes all of the time. What has gone wrong with me inside? I want to find me, and I don't even know where to start. I'm about ready to give up.
from velvet-heart :
Hey Mer I love your poetry!!
from ihmx100 :
First of all, you are smart and I think you are beautiful. Please don't be so hard on yourself. What's even better--to complement your physical beauty, you have inner beauty...and that is hard to find in a person. And have you noticed how short my entries have been lately? I can bitch with the best of them, but when I'm happy about something, how do you really describe it? I definitely feel you girl. But what can we do about it? I've thought about writing about my marriage, which would be very depressing but would include many many words. But are people even interested in my past? Shouldn't I look toward the future? I don't know. I'm doing a lot of introspection myself lately. We just need to support each other through this time period!
from plume :
I'm all better I think :)
from plume :
thank you, my mum is all good. If there were 36 hours in a day then I could sleep so much, mmmmmmyeah.
from ihmx100 :
yes I did send you that e-mail. It is something new that AOL is doing, so I thought I would try it out, write about different stuff than what I write here at Diaryland. But, you know how things go, I may ditch the whole plan anyway! LOL take care
from ihmx100 :
Mer, I'm not going to pretend that I know "exactly" how you feel. But I can share my story with you (although I don't think I have any advice to offer). Yes, we learn from our experiences. In the beginning, I loved sex. It was about making love. Then, once the abuse started I had no desire to make love to a man (even if he was my husband) who treated me like shit. I lost all of my sex drive. My vibrators collected dust, which is a serious problem seeing as how much I loved those little devils! ;-) Anyway, so like you, I have this wall built up around me too. I want to love someone and make love and enjoy it, but I can't right now. The last time I had sex I was drunk and just taking advantage of our friendship and enhanced sex drives. I used him just as much as he used me. Well, anyway, sorry this is so long. I just don't want you to feel like you are the only one without a sex drive. Just have faith (like I do) that it will return in full force one day!
from plume :
happy anniversary *Sends good vibes* :) I am surprised that they broadcast the euro awards in america too. How confusing. But of course they show the american one here too. Global village people.
from ihmx100 :
Meredith, I have been away a few days because of my surgery, so I have a few things to say. Hope this isn't too long! First of all, congratulations on both of your anniversaries! And I feel the same way you do about being antisocial. In the past, I had to stay out all weekend long partying, I couldn't stand to sit still for longer than 30 minutes. Now, I am LOVING my new life. I play with kitten, write, (I actually started writing poetry again), read, watch tv, spend quality time with my family, well you get the gist of it. It sounds like you really have your life in order, so try not to be so hard on yourself. You sound like such a strong person and I wish you all the best in life. We may have gone through hell and back, but we are strong women!
from plume :
hey now hey now, guess what I'm thinking now? hehe, I'm thinking there are worse minds than yours to be compared to :)
from plume :
you are too good a person
from jonathan :
'too much time alone = too much time to think.' Inconsistant in all things. That should be my motto. I'm not alone. If feel like a Damien Hurst 'splatter' painting, a disc in constant motion onto which life is being dripped. Weeeeeeeeee!
from thisisjohn :
i sincerely hope so. more than anything.
from thisisjohn :
for her, this amazing wonderful girl, ive been listening to my morning jacket - at dawn. she introduced me to the band, and so many other great bands. she is just perfect.
from velvet-heart :
At this point I do- and it hurts that I WANT to put the blame on myself- but I still feel as if I'm pushing the blame on others when I don't think they had any control of it either. Bleh
from flinnt :
Ok before you think ive gone loopy.......the message below is for someone else! I wrote a note in your g book (but they arnt working,) so came to post it here (thinking id pasted it,) but have now realised id pasted the note for the previous diariests entry! Argh! Andywho.......i was going to say; You need not valium or pills. If you cry - so what ? It's not a sign of weakness nor a sign of something wrong with you. It's a sign of normality. You'll be fine x
from flinnt :
Sandy 'G' went through the biting faze too - i think most children do as a form of frustration at not being able to express themselves fully and also that they dont really understand how much it can hurt! The way it was solved with 'G' though is that one time she bit her mummy and her mummy bit her back. Shock is the look that came over her face, then tears, but after that no more biting. I think it's the only way to get them to understand x
from oceans-depth :
thank you for the note . I am home and feeling better.love Deja
from heartshaped :
miss you. <3
from nicky-d :
Damn friggin' guestbooks are acting up again... grrr. Anyway, "A Wedding Story" is one of my favorite TV shows! I don't really cry over them, but I do seethe with jealousy instead. Heh, just kidding. TLC is fun to watch during the daytime sometimes. :) Oh, I'm going to e-mail you the translation to what I wrote. I might write in French more often now, especially when I have "secrets"... that was fun. ;)
from shortst101 :
I cry like a baby too over people i don't know, and shows and stuff, so maybe we aren't so silly afterall
from velvet-heart :
Hello hello :)
from velvet-heart :
Hey Mer. Its just me Chrissy. Its been a while since Ive left you a note or gbook signing. Sorry about that. Ive just not been myself lately. If youw ant to see how Im doing you can venture here. If not, I can understand that too. I hope youre doing well. Take care k? *hugs*
from shortst101 :
loved your song title answers :) Hugsssssssss, hope your doing ok
from sylviashadow :
You can never go wrong with white russians..or screwdrivers..in my not so humble opinion! Take care--sylviashadow
from sunnflower :
You are not a horrible girl so please remember to be kind and forgiving to yourself. Hugs.
from no-yes-maybe :
YOu have a really cool layout. I really enjoyed reading your story.
from oceans-depth :
I'm not dead yet and I still read everyday does that count.<3 Deja
from prowlingleo :
Damn girl, I've been waiting all through work to get home and find out what happened with the temp from hell! Why haven't you updated about that!?!
from ihmx100 :
Mer, thanks for your support. yes I will be able to write via snail-mail, so feel free to send your address. I found out that I may not be in there as long as i thought, so it's up to you if you want me to write. I love to write though. It helps. Thanks so much, Michelle
from waterpins :
thank you thank you. oh, e.e. cummings is amazing. besides all of the love.sex.prostitute poems he wrote, which aren't vulgar at all, they're beautiful, there's some really good stuff. my favorite is "don't get me wrong oblivion." have you read it? it's awesome. and neruda is gorgeous too. you rock. <333
from crimsonqueen :
You can go ahead and talk. I won't be disturbed. Just letting you know.
from waterpins :
p/s. i read and really like your poetry diary.
from sunnflower :
I bet it is pretty in Philadelphia this time of year.
from poetgrl224 :
apple pie really isn't hard at all...especially if you cheat and by pie crust mix, trust me it tastes the same
from sylviashadow :
magic 8 ball says (hang on a sec)'definitely' weee! Don't ya love good juju? take care and good luck with your spreadsheets..sylviashadow
from waterpins :
hehe, thanks much for your note. yes. ill come read you too. i wish it was cold enough to need to go defrost my hands. i like all the thursday in your layout, by the way. <3
from prowlingleo :
Not only does that keep things real, but in a way it protects you...for that ever popular 'just in case'. Can't be too hurt if you don't give in 100%.
from waterpins :
the no seatbelt song banner was genius. it's all about the silence right before the drum hits at the very end and the chorus repeats. that song was my life for a while. i think i love you. <3 [rachel]
from shortst101 :
We really are alot more alike than we know. Sometimes I have to laugh about things, so I don't cry. HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
from bipolargirl :
wow - you look like a movie star!!!!
from bipolargirl :
there's something about a place that you've lived or been to, and knowing you can't ever go there again
from cdghost :
beautiful layout..soft spoken words..awesome
from sylviashadow :
simplicity is good. I'm glad you had an awesome summer! sylviashadow
from bipolargirl :
hey friend - i'm glad i came back just in time. i really know what you are talking about. i REALLY do. people online can just be sooo fucking nasty. i stoped visiting bipolar chatrooms and political chats - people are just there to piss and offend everyone else. and the rooms with voice chat - you are volunteering to kneel and put your head on the chopping block. you are not alone. i really feel for you, and you have been a great support to me for over a year. i want to be there for you. we can exchange emails, messenger, and you can call me if you want. i don't want you to be alone in this. if i can help, please utilize my friendship. -- oh - i'm unlocked now, too.
from thunderdave :
Hey, I'm lockin' up the old diary. Email me at thunderdavex@hotmail.com for your password.
from shortst101 :
Thank you! I was kinda upset yesterday too in regards to the way everyone just kinda "forgot" about yesterday. I remembered in my own way....HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs, keep holding that head up high :)
from nicky-d :
Gah, these guestbooks are getting annoying now, grrr! Anyway... I wanted to tell you that I hope you know that whether you're writing about good times, bad times, boring times, exciting times, or any time in between all of that, I'll always be reading. And I'll *always* be here for you. You are still hands down one of the strongest people I've ever known and I am so glad I found you on D-land. Additionally, I cannot even begin to thank you for all you've done for me (and we don't even know each other in "real life!"... amazing, isn't it?) Someday, we're going to have to get together and have a genuinely good kick-ass time being the hardcore, hip-hop loving white girlies we are... hehe. Always remember: I love you and I am so proud and happy for you no matter what. *HUGS*
from sunnflower :
It sounds like you decision to move is a good one and very well thought out. You made me think about all the sectors of my life - from cooking to shopping to gas and electric - and assess how I am doing in those areas. :)
from sopraltodear :
Stupid guestbooks! Congrats on the anniversary! You totally deserve this! I'm so happy for you!
from ihmx100 :
Mer, Hey how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I finally have my new diary up. It is ihmx100.diaryland.com. Sorry it took so long to get back to you. Hope all is going well with you. Talk to you later! Michelle
from writtensoul :
http://www.discoveringartists.com
from sylviashadow :
Wow..I've felt that way before, like insert inadequacy here...take care. --sylviashadow
from raven72d :
Bankruptcy is going to happen eventually. I have vast student loans, plus maybe 15-20K in credit card bills. I'll never be able to pay it off. I want to erase the past and start over...maybe with a new name, locale, age, height, size, and identity. I didn't open my grades because I didn't want to not be smart. I was smart all through grad school. I'd depended on being bright to get by. I didn't get any interviews...but since I didn't own a suit anyway...I didn't go out with anyone at all even once during law school. I was afraid to ask anyone, afraid that I couldn't *do* anything...I just want something to go right. I want to not be afraid, to be able to have the things and do the things that others do.
from raven72d :
I stopped paying credit card bills two years ago, when I had no money at all. I'll file bankruptcy eventually. I haven't paid anything on student loans. Opening up unpleasant things does no good when you have no resources to deal with them. When I pay bills-- e.g., the phone --I send random amounts monthly and just...hope. I never opened my law school gardes, so I couldn't put GPA/rank on my resume, which meant that I got no interviews at all while at law school. I couldn't face not being bright any more. I just want something good to happen-- to have a girl in my life again, to be able to do the things others do, to be petted and told that I'm doing Okay...
from bipolargirl :
i'm sooo glad you are doing ok!!!! i checked out that lifering site - man, that looks soooo awesome - i'm totally checking it out.
from kitten42 :
please go here http://ttcvoting.signmyguestbook.com/ and vote for design # 10 if you do i will love you forever and link you everywhere thanks!
from kanoodle :
such a lovely entry in xoexoh. you write pretty words, dear. ♥
from leely :
am i really? but there are so many other pretties out there</3
from tropicalmist :
Hey Mer- I hope you are doing well. I miss your words of inspiration and I so badly need some. *Huggles*
from prowlingleo :
Congrats on the two months! I knew you could do it!
from shortst101 :
Happy Anniversary to YOU! I'm so proud of you! Keep it up, you can do anything!
from sunnflower :
Maybe it's not you that you need to get over but the you that you once were. Sometimes we feel the most personal pain during those emotional/spiritual/personal growth spurts that make us better people. Sending hugs!
from bipolargirl :
sounds like a GREAT show. glad u had fun
from sad-doll :
<3 I love you. ♥
from sylviashadow :
Thanks for the notes latley. Happiness is wonderful, isn't it?--sylviashadow
from radiowire :
thankyou :D
from radiowire :
i'm sorry to bother you, but how do you put a picture in your diaryland profile? i've emailed the diaryland tech support a thousand times, but it seems that once they collect my $ for membership, they ignore me.
from shortst101 :
Hope you and he have a wonderful time! Happy 4 months! Hugsssssssssssss AND yes, this day has lasted an eternity.
from bipolargirl :
that is JUST so damn COOL - i really wish i really knew you right now to girve you a real hug
from bipolargirl :
oh my gosh - that is soo awesome! fucking awesome!!!! is that how you met him?
from prowlingleo :
Happy 4 months! Jay and I will hit that on the 11th. Seems like a short amount of time and also an entire lifetime...congrats ;)
from shortst101 :
don't feel bad, i got all teary eyed watching the Beverly Hills 90210 reunion on tv tonight.
from shortst101 :
It's gonna be okay, HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
from prowlingleo :
Once again, you've written what's been on my mind. Writers block has hit me from all angles lately. I can't write about misery because it's just not around anymore! *Big hugs* if anyone deserves happiness, it's you.
from bloodxtears :
darling my new diary is: http://open-scars.diaryland.com/ :) ♥
from heartshaped :
definitely. dude. why haven't we talked in like. forever. ?
from sylviashadow :
Recovery is not selfish! Tell whoever it is to get a life...thanks for your sweet guestbook entry..I thought I said it pretty well too.--sylviashadow
from sunnflower :
No, you're not being selfish in your recovery because you do need to take care of yourself right now. Sometimes this is hard on the people around us. You will come out of this even better than you started and the people in your life that are worth having in it will be there in the end. Be patient with them and forgive them for not always being perfect enough to deal with everything the way you would hope. :)
from opensecret :
happy post birthday. time to unwind
from boltedwrists :
Thank-you [i hope you had a good birthday] you deserve it all, more than I do! ♥
from telefreak47 :
Glad to know you had such a great b-day. :-) ♥ ♥ ♥
from prowlingleo :
Glad to hear the birthday went well, I had salad bar at Ruby's last night too! I kid you not, but also added on the super sampler hehe. Happy entries are nice, aren't they?
from telefreak47 :
Hey! Happy Birthday! <3<3<3 Way ta go! 28, huh? Hope you have a WONDERFUL day. You definately deserve it.
from prowlingleo :
Happy Birthday sweetness, let me know how 28 is for you...I turn 28 on Wed and it's creeping me out lol.
from babyisblue :
♥HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY!!!♥HOPE YOU HAVE AN *AMAZING* DAY!!!♥
from kanoodle :
♥ happy birthday [!!] ♥
from leely :
uhoh/ you better get crackin;)
from nicky-d :
Hmmm... Philly. Now there's an idea! :) But, then again, I have relatives there, so my immediate family would probably sic them on me to keep an eye on me. :P
from prowlingleo :
Okay now that's a little freaky...in my dream I was staying in a hotel and the fire alarm went off lol.
from sad-doll :
I love you sweetheart *hugs*
from boltedwrists :
thank-you my darling. [[[hugs_back]]] ♥
from neuroticaa :
u=neuroticaa, p=upthewall <3
from babyisblue :
i'm glad someone around here understands, i was starting to think i was the only one with these problems. xo♥
from babyisblue :
your words are so pretty! xo♥
from bloodxtears :
yes darling, I //was// happy. It didnt last very long. but it was there. ♥ ♥
from telefreak47 :
Hey, I've been reading your journal daily, and I think you are incredibly inspiring. You are very strong, even if you don't always think so. And you're a beautiful person, with a beautiful heart.
from bipolargirl :
you keep walking, girl. as kimya dawson one told me 'walk like thunder.'
from prowlingleo :
You and I go through so many things at the same time it's scary. 28 is fast approaching for me too, and the time to grow up is now. How far we've come, eh? And how far we will go, I'm sure of it.
from prowlingleo :
Hold on to that feeling girl, I know I am!
from leely :
ER, it wasnt that fun actually. i missed diaryland so much though</3
from prowlingleo :
Just wanted to say thanks for signing the guestbook for Lucy's birthday!
from bipolargirl :
hope your tuesday is better!!!
from sadnow :
Hi :). I read just a bit of your diary but I absolutely adored it. You are a very talented writer
from prowlingleo :
Everyone deserves a little love...for some reason we had to wait longer than others. Yeah, I think we'll be okay this time around :)
from kishijoten :
thank you so much! *hugs*
from bloodxtears :
Happy lane here we come! *skips away into the sunset with you* <3<3<3<3
from sunnflower :
Yes, that sounds like a perfect little trip - especially the ice cream part!
from darkdivine :
¢¾ thanks I hope I'll feel better, but I don't know right now
from prowlingleo :
Sounds like you and I are doing the same this weekend...amazing what the love of someone can do, isn't it?
from bloodxtears :
hey. Thank-you darling. Thank-you. My memories suck. how bout we make happy ones together? <3
from telefreak47 :
Hey there. : ) I just wanted to say congrats on doing so well. I think it's great that the boy is being so supportive of you.
from silent-scars :
&you are beautiful like the stars.
from sad-doll :
I love you darling, I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful. And one damn amazing girl. ♥ Audrey I love you always.
from mistychristy :
but what if im scared?
from paperxflower :
I am so so proud of you, I really am. You are doing all those things, for the betterment of YOURself. I know you love your boyfriend. But if he truly loves you back, he should do nothing but encourage you down this road to get well. You inspire me, you really do. You've neglected yourself long enough. It's about time you not worry about anyone else, and just take this period in your life to get better. And I'm proud of you for it.
from leely :
we need to grow down and have sleepovers</3
from mistychristy :
it brings a tear to my eye every time i realize i cant trust a friend... especially when she tells an Xboyfriend... but thanx for the note... i get all excited when i see a new note so thanx for making my day!!!
from shortst101 :
You seem so happy......smiles, it looks wonderful on you. Love the new hairdo too.
from babyisblue :
i'm happy you found someone, you deserve it! xoxo
from kanoodle :
thank you for the birthday wishes! =) btw, you've got the same birthday as harry potter! wicked! =D xoxo
from bipolargirl :
i understand EVERY word you have said. it is overwhelming when you think of all the 'chores' you have to do to get 'better' - but girl - we can do it - just baby steps until we can run free!!!!!
from leely :
awww, no im not. what gave you that idea? [♥] thanks though</3
from kanoodle :
thanks, sweetie - i enjoy reading your diary too - xoxo ♥
from captivated- :
Congratulations!!!
from mistychristy :
The BOY well he was some hot montana boy that had the eyez that you could melt for... and well for the... now 36 day clean...yeah its on purpose maybe one day ill get enuf balls to tell everyone my story but for now im just scared of telling myself! Thanks for the note hun.
from leely :
isnt it weird how you can tell someone so much about you that youve never met? youre a prettygirl<3
from elateddream :
It is definitely huge and revolutionary to me.
from bipolargirl :
that would be one hell of an ad - lol. a friend of mine put up an ad once that said -'jaded red-head' no response
from leely :
<3thanks for the credit love<3
from boltedwrists :
thank-you my dear. You are so wonderful to me. I dont understand why such a goregous person would waste their time but thank-you anyway! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
from thisisjohn :
denison is really good, for sure. I just dont like the CD sound that much.
from leely :
[<3]youre so lovely. do you see it?
from bluesage :
Why thank you :)
from bipolargirl :
sister - i am so psyched for you!!!!!!!! and, go kiss the heck out of him!!!! i love your analogy about hair.
from raven72d :
Despite the old song, don't cry at the party.
from bipolargirl :
sweetie, you will be ok. you are ok.
from prowlingleo :
Wishing you a happy 4th, and thank you for giving me a great read!
from telefreak47 :
Hi. I tried to send you an e-mail, but it came back. I was hoping we could chat sometime. It seems like you hit a bit of a bumpy portion of the road, judging from your latest entry. But really, if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here. And I'm sure a lot of other people on here have made that same statement at some point. :: HUGS ::
from prowlingleo :
It's the friends that are always in your life regardless of flaws that are worth having. We all have our faults sweetie, it's nothing to be ashamed of. The fact that you can admit a problem speaks volumes...hang in there.
from bipolargirl :
accept that you are wonderful, and accept that he thinks so too!!!!!
from leely :
...i know i shouldnt. but its so hard to be strong. <X3
from boltedwrists :
thank you __hug__&&__kisses__ I didn't get to perform...my mum wouldn't let me go. __cries__ But thank-you anyway. <3<3<3<3
from prowlingleo :
That's exactly how I feel when I'm with a certain someone...he is greatness. I feel like just being in his presence makes me special. Nice to see you happy.
from bottledbitch :
i hope you have a wondrous time. i absolutely loved murder by death - hopefully you will also. tell me all about the night after it has been experienced.
from bipolargirl :
i am happy for you too!!!!!! have a great holiday with the boy. aa sends a very good message. i tried emailing you, it came back. do i have the right address? i have some personal things to say - no hurry though - no hury at all - i'm busy today, anyway - so just get back to me when you can ;)
from telefreak47 :
Hey there. I found your diary in a random search and I thought it was just so touching. You've obviously been through a lot and I'm glad to see you're taking a hold of your life. I'm glad that you seem to be doing better. You are such a beautiful person and a very powerful writer. I hope things continue to go well for you. :: HUUUUUUUUUUUG ::
from bloodxtears :
I hope I am too darling. <3<3<3<3
from leely :
i hope so too. [[♥♥♥]]
from shortst101 :
I tried to leave this in your guestbook but it wouldn't let me "You were "Always getting it right", you just couldn't see it. I'm so glad to see you happy and smiling and in love. YOu deserve it more than anyone I know. Thanks for what you said in my guestbook. I'm doing okay, just trying to work though some of the things I feel. HUGSSSSSSSS"
from jadedmist :
I'm so sorry to hear that you've been raped. I've been raped, and also drugged and then raped, too many times to count, and abused in every way you could think of. Since I was a kid. Rape does tend to strip you of self-worth and trust, doesn't it? You say in your diary that you are in love, so at least you've been able to let yourself get into a relationship, which is awesome. I don't feel I will ever do that, but it's nice to see someone else that has. Whatever it is you've found that has let you love again, don't let it go. xoxo
from sad-doll :
I LOVE YOU! God damn girl you're such a sweetheart, and a beautiful girl.
from bipolargirl :
hey - emogrrl is back in business!!!!
from bipolargirl :
man - you sound good. i'm sooooo happy for you. i'm so glad you are in love. it's just so wierd that you have 'the thief' when i was wondering if you have listened to it. i know you are a lyrics person. lemme know what you think of it.
from miche218 :
Falling in love. It's amazing isn't it? I sometimes miss that, "I just fell in love" feeling. It's so consuming, so exciting. I know what that feels like. that rush..it's awesome. My boyfriend doesn't stop surprising me. Sometimes I can just stare at him while we're driving with the top down, with the wind blowing, and I'm like, "wow, I love him".. Good for you. Enjoy the feeling :)
from heartshaped :
things.
from heartshaped :
the planets will align and thing will be right for us. i believe it.
from heartshaped :
yr never online. stop being so mysterious. ;)
from sad-doll :
you are amazing and beautiful.
from miche218 :
Hi there..Yes, those changes are ALL Good. We are all a mess. Coming from another 28yr old who has a lot of bitterness and anger to get over. Life is such a learning process; painful and brutal. Keep pushing ahead. It'll get better. I'm looking forward to my 30's..It's got to be better than the past 10 years!!
from bonnie-moo :
thankyou hunny <3
from boltedwrists :
thank-you, i need it :) <3<3<3 much love and happiness <3<3<3
from neuroticaa :
belleville? as in neighborhood-rival-whose-ass-we-kick-every-thanksgiving-game? niiice =)
from farbehind :
actually, i'm on ocean city, Maryland. but these shore towns are probably all similar [especially the people]
from neuroticaa :
(your guestbook hates me) well, truth be known, i live in Nutley... you know, by montlcair and newark... rather than explaining all that though i usually just tell people i live in new york city ;)
from kanoodle :
thank you, sweetie. you have a way with words, too. <3 your diary.
from bloodxtears :
thank-you dearest! :) <3<3<3
from tropicalmist :
Thank you for the hug. I really need it. Love you Mer!
from bipolargirl :
trusting is so hard. i'm glad you are learing the process, and have a nice boy to be there on the journey with you
from skarekrow :
of course I want in.
from bloodxtears :
hehe the weather was gloomy and cold, just like always! hehe but it was ok for a holiday. I wouldn't live there ever! <3<3
from bloodxtears :
hello darlingwonder. I am back from Hiatus. phew! I missed you and your pretty notes!! :) <3<3<3
from heartshaped :
let's talk again soon, fucker. <33
from wanting-kind :
aww take care and have fun sweetie. xoxo [Lora]
from sylviashadow :
wonderful writing on this latest entry! love it love it. --sylviashadow
from mistychristy :
thanks for the hugs i really need it and if you ever get down remember i owe you a hug and dont be ashamed to ask for it im here if you ever need me
from leely :
the rubberband method,ey...i gotta try that</3
from wanting-kind :
thanks. :) Have a nice day sweetie xoxo [Lora]
from bloodxtears :
*lifts up a end of her blanket* here, we can try and get warm together! <3
from mbarestfrog :
hey, check out my diary now. i changed my layout. i drew the cartoons myself ;)
from jadedmist :
Hey there again. Thanks for the bit of encouragement. So I see that you may be Bipolar, and may be put on meds. I really, really, hope that you will not let a psychiatrist turn you into a zombie. They tried to do that to me. They were trying to pump me with so many drugs, that I wouldn't have been able to formulate a full thought. Psychiatrists do that A LOT, you know. So just, please, be careful, and be sure that you have found a psych. that is right for you, and actually cares about making you better, rather than pumping your system full of drugs. I'm Bipolar, too, not to mention many more things, so I know about the mental community well. I'm on 100mgs of Zoloft, and 800mgs of Tegretol a day, and I also have to take 10mgs of Valium when I start to get out of hand. I am in the process of trying to work on my problems naturally, and my ultimate goal is to end up off all meds. I'm studying homeopathy, taking herbs, and attempting to begin practicing yoga and meditation. And I know it looks like I'm pretty messed up, but trust me, I'm A LOT better off then I was. And though I slide a few steps back sometimes, I really want to eventually be "drug-free", lol. But unfortunately, the meds are still necessary right now, as they may be for you, too. But too much can really screw with your head. I should know. LOL. Wow. Sorry for the novel! Well, good luck, and I really hope your new p-doc will go the right route, and you'll have better luck with the psych. community then I have. ;)
from bipolargirl :
my gosh girl, i REALLY know how you feel. if we grew up on the same street or we went to high school or college together i have this feeling we would be close friends, going thorugh the same stuff. i read your entries of the past and think 'that's exactly how it think.' you are most wonderful. please remember that, or contact me if you need a reminder
from mistychristy :
ireallylikeyourdiary!
from bonnie-moo :
hi thanks for the notes. yeah i'm really sorry i deleted a few things on my diary and i deleted hollow. i wanna make a fresh positive start and i dont wanna lable myself as depressing things anymore...if that makes sense? anyway sorry again
from jadedmist :
OH MY GOSH I just realized that I was still signed in under xoexoh before I left you that note! I really thought I had signed in under my own name again before I left that note. OOPS! So I thought I would clarify that that last note was me, LOL. *sigh*
from xoexoh :
Wow, you can be really inspiring. I know you may not think so, but like your latest entry. It really makes me want to try and examine myself a little closer. I used to be just like that. A total fighter, in every way. No matter what, nothing got me down. And if it did, I jumped right back up before you could blink an eye. But after the major trauma's I went through when I was 18, I just changed. My strength was killed. I suppose some of it must still be there or else I would've been dead a long time ago. The fact that I'm still here accounts for something I suppose. But even though I'm not dead, I'm definately not alive either. I'm just stuck, somewhere in between, wishing that I could go one way or the other. But every time I think I've almost gotten out, I'm shoved down again, and sliding back into deep depression again. I just hate myself. Sorry for this eternally long entry, but your latest entry just brought all this out I guess. You are a lovely person, you really are.
from sad-doll :
I was reading some of Raven72d's note and your not the only one! I don't hate LOTR or harry potter but I just don't like them! I thought I was the only one! I think it's gotten so annoying. I'll write you again later darling. I hope you feel better. xoexoh ♥ always audrey
from bloodxtears :
-sings- cos its always raining in my head, forget all the thigs I should have said -sings- I love that song. It makes me cry so much, but its so beautiful I just cant keep away from it <3
from raven72d :
Lots of Tylenol, lots of Vitamin C... Do get better!
from tropicalmist :
Aww! You're soo sweet to me.. You always seem to know what I need when I need it and when I want it. You're best babe! *hugs you back even tighter* [Love]
from raven72d :
e-mail me at Raven72D@diaryland.com and it'll get to me...
from raven72d :
Do e-mail me...I miss hearing from you!
from raven72d :
Ithink Kevin Spacey would make Harry Potter so much more fun... By turning it into "Seven" or "Usual Suspects"... Like Christopher Walken as Frodo... It would just be...*different*.
from leely :
thank♥you
from tropicalmist :
You're so silly... *eyes bulging* Just realized how many entries you have in your diary- No way I can read all of that in a week or two. DAYUMN!
from tropicalmist :
Thanks honey. You really hlped me a lot in the late hours of the morning but now its day break- I can sleep now without being scared. *holds your hand*
from boltedwrists :
I think you are so amazing. Just totally and utterly beautiful. you are defintly one of those who make me fall straight back in love when I read your diary. DEFINTLY!!! <3 you lots<3
from maredeath :
i am really not a huge radiohead fan, but i have learned to appreciate them quite nicely. you have to take them at surface value, i mean, they are pretty pretentious. songs you should defintely listen to: electioneering, ideotheque, the bends, fake plastic trees, street spirit (fade out). quite.
from boltedwrists :
arrhh! -confused- what did you say? I'm sure whatever it is it was beautiful! :) So I'll just say thank-you! :) <3<3muchloveandkisses<3<3
from boltedwrists :
:) how about now? [ineedahugorsomething] xox <3<3<3
from leely :
...because life isnt fair(?)
from boltedwrists :
[this is bloodxtears] Your words are enough. Thank-you. You wont ever know how much they mean right now. <3
from bipolargirl :
hey hon - thanks for the encouraging words.
from heartshaped :
it's on. :)
from boltedwrists :
*mwah* *mwah* back at you doll face[!]
from heartshaped :
it was nice. i don't want to be any older than this though. oi. let's play on aim. :)
from bonnie-moo :
hey hun. i accepted you into hollow and sent you the e-mail with the code. hope it reached you. thanks for the happy anniversary :) <333
from heartshaped :
i love you. let's talk.
from sylviashadow :
Hello- My archives page link is now back up so you can see the complete poetic history of my diaryland entries! -sylviashadow
from bonnie-moo :
Thankyou doll <3 Reading through it again I dunno if I like it. I'm just to hard on myself I think. Never satisfied with anything I produce. I love your diary, the way you write. You're lovely <333
from tropicalmist :
Hey Mer! I wanted to say thank you for g-book entry but I really wish I could live up to entry I wrote because it all feels like lies. The people I wanted to get away from found me.
from still-i-rise :
*hugs* You are a really wonderful person and you deserve some happiness. I hope you get everything you want. Love Lora xoxo
from lettersofus :
New letter posted
from boltedwrists :
Yes I know what you mean. You have finally found the person who isn't scared of your love. Which is excellent! I am happy for you darling. && I hope everything works out and you two share love together!! <3<3<3
from leely :
you are so [fucking] lovely♥
from lilchrissi :
Sorry. Done done. I'm going to my other diary where ppl cant find me
from lilchrissi :
Why thank you ma'am.. I'm just a very "unique" snowflake...
from bipolargirl :
i titally know what you mean - i played by the rules for a LONG time and it never seemed to do any good. but, the party life still leads to it's own problems. what is the answer??? the rules and depression, or no rules, moments of bliss, and then depression? i just don't know. yes, i do the know the answer, but it's not the one i want.
from lilchrissi :
well- lol I didn't leave her a very nice note either- so I'm just as equally lame..I'm just at that point where I don't give a F anymore- I don't care what people say to me and I don't care what they think of me and I sure as hell don't care about what I say to people who offend me anymore- I'm tired of trying to be noce- it ALWAYS comes back and bites me on the ass. I'm going to be a bitch from now on- or until I decide to change my mind again- I have a bad self concious ego lol Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire... and only I know what that is. Huggles doll.
from lilchrissi :
yes yes Sammi is a little sneak- I didn't know until just a few minutes ago when I read my guestbook- grr- what a lil' snot lol Oh well Im not mad- Just pissed at the chick who said it was me saying I was looking for attention- I dont care if people come n see me - its useless and unimportant
from prowlingleo :
Thanks for the comments sweetie...just decided it's much much easier to be happy than constantly deal with crap, ya know? Seeing you happy lately motivated me as well. I figure if you can do it, I can do it ;) Love ya sweetie.
from lilchrissi :
I found you thru my moms diary- hahah! Shes gonna be so pissed! O well-Sammi
from leely :
yeah; betrayal really sucks when its from your two closest friends. [bestfriend&boyfriend]. i mean, those are the two closest and nicest people you know. if they care about you so much as to hurt you...you have to wonder what your enemies are willing to do to hurt you worse</3 deeeeee
from boltedwrists :
Yeah. I wish she knew how much I love her. Why don't you tell your boyface? [P.S.] I loveyour layout! :) <3<3<3<3
from boltedwrists :
oh thank-you! [user:] bleeding [pass:] heals. Its not good. <3<3<3
from lilchrissi :
Im not going anywhere honey- I'm just bleh
from bonnie-moo :
i'm really not sure if i'm actually strong or if it's all just a front. an exterior. sometimes i get in a 'i don't give a shit about anything' mood but i always seem to end up caring. i don't know why though, i'm much happier when i don't. <3
from tanked :
i really dont want you to take this personally but im removing you from the BAM ring. at your earliest convenience i would appreciate if you take the logo off and umm... yeah. im sorry. have a nice day.
from prowlingleo :
I know this is officialy random guestbook signing week, but I'm making it a 'thank you for reading me' day. So here is me, thanking you, for continuing to read me.
from bipolargirl :
your battle cry rings so truthfully in my ears. just yesterday i was at the therapist saying how i hate my bipolar and i want to tell it to just fuck off. in reading your diary for so long, i see that you daily tell your depression to fuck off - it may not listen all of the time, but you are neo from the matrix, fighting off all those creepy depressed agents, and you will always win. and,, thanks for the triendship and the encouragement about ray. it goest to show you, that even a 46-year old man can still be a child
from heartshaped :
i would hope so. :) thank you beautiful. xo.
from lilchrissi :
username-lilchrissi psswrd-frozentears
from thisisjohn :
doteasy.com 25 dollars for one year of host. thats where john-mosley.com resides. :) check it out. its a cheap price compared to the way yahoo rips people.
from mbarestfrog :
hi, do you like old skool hip hop? could you read my diary entry called "quest for song" ? have you heard this song by any chance? thanks :)
from prowlingleo :
It's great to see you so happy. Never let it go.
from bobbipuzel :
Awww love your current entry. What beautiful writings you have conspired. I love them!
from prowlingleo :
Our past usually defines our future; unfortunately in situations like this, when we can be happy, we look for every possible reason why we will be hurt. We know it's coming, so we analyze the hell out of it. I'm the same way, you know that. I did that with my current one too. Problem is, sometimes you have to let go...or you'll lose them by always being negative. Are you sure we're not related?
from crushreviews :
Guestbooks SUCK right now!! Cna I ask you a favor? Can I review you? Pleeeeeeaaaaase?????? ~xoxo -lil sistah-
from sylviashadow :
ha-my friends and i call it geoshitties for a reason! Check out mine http://www.geocities.com/madpoet44311/conniesrants Dont forget to sign the book! --sylviashadow
from jelybeanie32 :
sometimes all you need is a break
from prowlingleo :
Listen here missy...your entries are not getting crappy...at ALL...so hush!
from heartshaped :
i know it. she's tiny, too. i could definitely knock some sense into her. haha.
from nolegirl22 :
I know what you mean... being raped by your boyfriend feels like it can't be as big of a deal... in my situation, I feel almost wrong using the word rape. But you know what? He had no right to do that to you, and it is just as traumatizing as if someone else had done it. I'm sorry you have to deal with this shit. *hugs*
from sunnflower :
Wish I'd visited your diary last night instead of this morning. I couldn't remember that darned American Idol # for anything but I have to admit I wasn't going to vote for Clay. He did a great job with Unchained Melody though.
from prowlingleo :
I'll have you know, I spent the last two hours voting for Clay...nonstop. Hangup, redial, hangup, redial. Through Smallville and through Buffy (that I taped because of Idol). I have no idea really what happened on those two shows, but Clay has at least 70 votes from me and my sister (on two phones)!
from poetgrl224 :
you know sometimes it's like you're writing my diary. This sort of thing is better left appreciated, don't waste your time trying to figure this out, just enjoy it while it's here. It's good to finally see you happy. -meredith
from heartshaped :
thank you for calling me strong. i've never applied that word to myself. you are too, my love. you are too.
from prowlingleo :
Pathetic (NO), sad (SOMETIMES), disgusting girl (NEVER)...everyone deserves happiness. Enjoy it, don't question it.
from yburuby :
hey, thanks for signing my book. enjoying your diary.
from heartshaped :
i forgot that you already saw her. :) i suppose it's different now. this was my first time seeing her. so. but she's a mommy now. didn't it make her prettier somehow? nothing is as close to god as tori and her music. yes.
from bipolargirl :
WOW! for you - my friend!!! i'm glad that your dream happened when you were awake :)
from heartshaped :
oh my. you will never be the same. <3
from prowlingleo :
Sounds like you had a beautiful time. Thanks for the comments, in many ways I want mine to be like yours, you just write for you. I don't know, going through a late 20's crisis or something, but your comment was well written. Just frustrating at times, you know?
from sylviashadow :
Hey there-- Isn't it nice when people surprise you like that? --sylviashadow
from shantygirl :
Hey! I had to lock again. I sent an email to my notifylist, but if you didn't get it, I'll send you the password and all. :-)
from raven72d :
I'm glad you're feeling better...
from prowlingleo :
I feel like such a little brat since doing that, I didn't expect people to actually take me seriously. I'm too addicted to NOT update. Love ya ;)
from raven72d :
I do miss you.
from heartshaped :
you always make sense. don't be envious of nothing. you know. cheers.
from prowlingleo :
I used to trust people until the whole online thing...sometimes I really hate the internet! Sorry to hear you've been there too, I know how much it hurts.
from bipolargirl :
thanks for the adobe tip. i will check that out. that's so cool you went to a 'show.' that's all i go to. it's been two years since i saw a 'major' act at an arena. i love shows - they are so down to earth and fun. glad you had a good weekend - the dude sounds cool
from flyinby :
wow, i hope you get to feeling better soon! being sick is the pits, i should know! i'm always in the pits! :( take care!
from heartshaped :
i'm so happy for you. i won't give up. <3
from thisisjohn :
the time is now or never to make your dreams come true, you gotta wake up and pay attention.
from shimmyshimmy :
I would love to have an admin to appreciate! =)
from prowlingleo :
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
from livingwreck :
Hmm, maybe but I don't agree......
from thisisjohn :
you are sweet. a funny thing. saturday night I sang part of a song from SA2. I have no clue why, or where it came from, and after I sang it, everyone looked at me with a blank stare. and I said, Sister Act 2! duh! and they didnt say anything.
from sylviashadow :
Hey-how did your idol try out go? I haven't been around for a while. Good job on taking the first step-it's not easy to let go. My dad's been sober for a little over a year and I'm so glad...however, my oldest bestest lovliest friend's dad died last month of accute liver faliure and heart attack-makes you step back. I'll be gone for about a week but feel free to leave me a note and i'll read when I get back. Take care! --sylviashadow
from prowlingleo :
At least you had the courage to go, I avoided American Idol both times. The second time, I actually went and then bailed at the last minute. It will be your time, and mine, some day.
from bipolargirl :
i'm so happy you went. i'm sure you were brilliant
from emogrrrl :
dude, do you know where i could download a version of sir mix-a-lot's "yo nepa, jump on it". that would be too fucking cool. i remember that song from like back in 9th grade.
from prowlingleo :
How jealous am I? Thanks for the guestbook entry btw, you're always #1 with me ;)
from crowhihs :
You must go to the audition--all things happen for a reason. Best of luck to you :-) TTFN
from bipolargirl :
ok - opportunity is knocking hard -- you should TOTALLY audition. what the worse that can happen???? if you don't, you'll always wonder what if ... remember - if you don't hear no at least 10 times a day - you are not asking enough
from suburblife :
Hey sweetie, I know you dont know me... leo sent me... You are beautiful... everyone has a bad day. Just remember that beauty is on the inside. You have nothing to hide. Wear your outfits with pride. Lift your chin up and reach for the stars. You know, today I was feeling bad today and DAVE cheered me up... and now I get to cheer someone up too... SMILE for me? I know its beautiful. Rob
from prowlingleo :
You are beyond pretty, you are beautiful in many many ways. Smile sweetie, sometimes that's all it takes.
from heartshaped :
some people have all the luck. not me. <3
from heartshaped :
i'm glad that you are in love. but i'm afraid i let mine go and i don't have enough motivation to get him back. his life got in the way of my living. and now i'm paying for it.
from prowlingleo :
Hehe thanks for the comment on Chris, he is beautiful isn't he? I didn't see that movie, now I'll have to look into it. I stumbled on the song through Kazaa. Anyways, *big hugs*, talk to you later ;)
from livingwreck :
Yep, never stop learning...
from bipolargirl :
shaking paper is the best song - thanks so much
from heartshaped :
exactly. i knew you'd understand. yr a doll. <3
from shimmyshimmy :
There are so many emotionally-empty people out there; you're blessed (though I'm sure through the extremes, it doesn't always feel it). I think I've been there... I think I'm going back there, and I send you an encouraging cyber hug.
from heartshaped :
this is what is new in my world: i am surrounded by sexy males much too often. and you may say, sounds good to me. but. it's rough. really.
from prowlingleo :
Thanks for the note on poeticstance. I think you're the only one that reads it lol, but I'm glad you enjoy it. *Big hugs*.
from bipolargirl :
thanks, you are the best. hey - i had a revelation - ya know why i go out with the losers??? 'cause they are the one who ask me.
from heartshaped :
lunch = pizza. i am a fat girl at heart.
from flyinby :
wow! it sucks to be allergic to garlic! i couldn't live without it . . . :(
from captivated- :
Hi! This is Sommer from the Clay Aiken ring! I was finally able to host the Clay Aiken ring myself so if you’re still interested in being part of the Clay Aiken ring, please visit the new link to become part of it! I’m sorry that it’s an inconvenience, but I had no idea I would one day be able to host my own rings lol. Thanks for your continuous support in Clay Aiken! http://members.diaryland.com/edit/rings.phtml?ring=clay-aiken
from heartshaped :
happy tuesday. i want food in my belly. farewell. <3
from flyinby :
i'm glad you are feeling better today, and i hope it continues for you! :) i really do! you are in my thoughts.
from prowlingleo :
Seriously, what's up with the snow? Thanks for the email by the way. It's wierd to say it, and may come out all lesbian and such...but you do complete me. What I can't put into words, you do. So thank you for that.
from bipolargirl :
hey - you are going through a very important time right now - i'm really proud of you and believe in you. you are beautiful.. hey - thanks for the vote of confidence. i just edited it and added more - i don't know which version you read. i really hope this goes well and on my favor.
from shimmyshimmy :
It is so hard to know where to begin with self improvement (when there seems pages of stuff to fix), isn't it? The rest of us don't look at you so harshly, though; you seem great. Hang in there.--Mere
from heartshaped :
i love notes from you. always.
from livingwreck :
I know what you mean about going back...If there's anything I can do, let me know okay?
from trulypoetic :
((((((((((meredith))))))))) what a brave brave girl. To have a drinking problem doesn't necessarily mean that you are a drunk like in the movies. Rick has one...his is different. He blacks out...but it's still a drinking problem.
from heartshaped :
mmm love. we must speak. or you know. type. back and forth. right. <3
from prowlingleo :
*Big hugs* Love you sweetie, thank you for being able to express the things I can't, as we seem to go back and forth with that.
from flyinby :
i wish i could talk to that voice.
from sylviashadow :
hey girl howz it goin'? I made some changes to my d-land...come check it out!--sylviashadow
from prowlingleo :
Wow, that is a good theme song to have...lol I'll back off and let you keep this one.
from cherrychoco :
I have to say I found the fortune cookie very amusing, lol. =)
from heartshaped :
she's prettier than anything, no? and she played upside down. nothing could have been more perfect.
from prowlingleo :
*big hugs* sweetie you are always welcome to comment. I hope you're feeling better soon.
from mal-adjusted :
I always found the drive upstate to be completely soothing. Always had a disjointed "otherworldly" quality to it. More likely, I was just wasted.
from prowlingleo :
*Kiss*
from prowlingleo :
Love the pics! You are quite the hottie. You can find me on ftj as the same name as my diary, prowlingleo. ;)
from prowlingleo :
Michael Rosenbaum, isn't he beautiful? ;)
from livingwreck :
For some reason I can't sign your book. Just wanted to say thanks......Wineries are great fun, even at the not so good ones. I mean, you can't knock free tastings, can you? Which begs the question, do you spit or swallow? lol
from captivated- :
Thanks for joining my Clay Aiken Diaryring and for having the code up!
from bipolargirl :
i REALLY get that drawing. i know what you mean about being 'on'. i just felt like that in therapy today. i don't let my therapist or anyone i know her read my journal -- but sometimes i'll print a page or two and bring it in -- because sometimes i am so bipolar i almost don't even remember how it was the day before when i was so low. take care
from prowlingleo :
If your brain and my brain got together...we'd be in some seriously trouble! Padded rooms for the both of us. Right back at ya sweetie...you express my feelings in ways I can't.
from shimmyshimmy :
I think just about every night I go to bed (after my own second shower) and hope the next day will bring something happy and useful. I hope, when that happens, the same will come to you.
from holding-in :
your guestbook is hating me today and now i have forgotten what i wanted to say
from prowlingleo :
We can start a band..call it "Gone to Hell" or something to that effect hehe.
from prowlingleo :
*Big hugs and kisses* I love you sweetie.
from bipolargirl :
as kima dawson once wrote to me: wallk like thunder. it may sound like an odd pairing, but right as i made my decision to leave my apartnemt, go to the hospital, i let myself go and then things started to change. i rented the matrix and ghost dog. ghost dog is wonderful. it is based on the ninja philosphy. one of my favotites was something along the lines of a ninja never carries an umbrella. if it is raining, trying to dodge the drops is futile and uses too much strengh. the wise one walks through the rain, accepting that she will get wet.
from dasauce :
You so very much rock. You have it. That's it. Run with it. Go YOU!
from evilbunny84 :
It's nice that you didn't have such a bad day and that you weren't disappointed. That's always a good thing and a start. I hope the rest of your days go well and I really liked your diary!
from prowlingleo :
You've got shotgun! "We're goin' to hell...who's comin' with us..." *big hugs*
from bipolargirl :
sweetie, it sounds like you need to take a day off. those nasty head chemicals are keeping you stuck in a depression. you're a superstar, relax and let this pass.
from sunnflower :
Your baby steps entry was very profound. You have a strong beautiful writing voice.
from hrothgar :
Yup, I joined. Howie and I are tight like that. :) There's no icon to put on my page, though, denoting that I'm a member of it. Should we come up with something?
from bannerreview :
You've been reviewed!
from raven72d :
Taylor and I are far too competitive ever to travel or room together... But the advice is sound: I do need a different place, a different set of stimuli...
from raven72d :
I've missed hearing from you...
from dasauce :
Snot Rockets! Wheeeee! Don't order food from them, OK? Bestest, Rick
from chikbeatnik :
love the new banner.
from trulypoetic :
I stopped taking Zoloft too. It seemed to work at first but then it just made my tongue numb and so I stopped. Maybe it got me through the worst of it...maybe it was just the placebo affect. I dunno.
from sylviashadow :
when in doubt of my sexual atractiveness i harkin back to some wise words i once said at the age of seven: "boys are gross"--sylviashadow
from serratedtart :
in regards to 'fun with banners'. im in the 8th grade. is there something wrong with owning something from claires? i think not. not that i do own anything...besides my unspeakable Princess lable phase. shh...
from raven72d :
There's something deeply unsettling about dreams that include Delaware...
from hrothgar :
Hey, no prob. :) Sleep when you can! :) I will look forward to that email later. If we can arrange something for while I'm in Philly, that would be fun! If not, we'll deal. Hope you got some sleep and that you enjoy a peaceful Saturday.
from maredeath :
maybe try 'you have to love yourself to accept love.'
from sylviashadow :
changed my d-land layout with a design by couture--come check it out and tell me what you think--sylviashadow
from sylviashadow :
Created a sylvia plath survey called ariel--please come take it! You can view my answers as well--thanx--sylviashadow
from dasauce :
[sung] Into each life a little precipitation must fall... or I'm singing in the precipitation, just singing in the precip... what a gawd awful feeling stop making it drip!
from bipolargirl :
i am so sick and tired of being the one who got away.. the one on the greener side of the fence that used to be dry and brown. i will always be the one that never was.
from dasauce :
Cobb is what you hafta use to clean the crevices of yer butt when you are done digesting said salad. --DorkSauce
from bipolargirl :
while you're at it, download 'to be a good woman' that's a killer, too
from bipolargirl :
let me know what you think about the song. if you ever do it i want a recording.
from dasauce :
Smooch. Silly person. I could recommend a number of shitheads on that coast too? Rick
from sylviashadow :
Thanx for joining my verbalsmack diaryring:) sylviashadow
from sylviashadow :
Thanx for joining my poetica diaryring:) sylviashadow
from sylviashadow :
Thanx for joining my ladylazurus diaryring! :) sylviashadow
from sylviashadow :
hi again--i started a ladylazurus diaryring in honor of sp and would like you to join--Sylviashadow
from sylviashadow :
hey fellow sylvia plath and anne sexton fan! Love your diary page--im adding you to my faves list. I run the poetica and verbalsmack diaryrings, if you'd like to join...--Sylviashadow
from maliciousd :
Sorry for the abrupt uprooting. Found a nosey little rat poking around my journal where she didn't belong....not a lot of ethical behavior going on in these parts these days. Anyway I'm going to start a blurty journal if you'd like to check me out sometime....when I get an entry I will be...www.blurty.com/~misclola (my AIM is MELISSAdessine if you ever wanna chat me up, and my email is the same to @AOL.)
from bipolargirl :
i know, my dear friend, i know
from bipolargirl :
you really need a big hug -- wish i was there to give it. perhaps you are suffering from a burn-out on those meds. that's what happened to me - i was taking it for so long it started doing more harm than good. hang in there, my friend.
from raven72d :
I'm glad, girl... And I hope you have a wonderful V-Day.
from dasauce :
You daDork. Hugs, Ms. Mer. Rick
from emogrrrl :
your gbook is down, so i'm signing here - i wish someone would write a song for me :-\ *whimpers*
from maliciousd :
awww merideth. i wish i could say something to make it all go away, but i've been there and am there now and know there is nothing to be done or said, but sometimes knowing that others like myself often feel like you: exhausted, burdensome, unproductive and useless well, sometimes just knowing you aren't the only one helps. I love reading your journal for a sense of connectedness even and especially when you're down and out. I appreciate your presence. ~Melissa~
from thisisjohn :
thanks meri, i like it a lot. the arrows dont work for me either though. hmmmmm.
from dasauce :
Hey! Lady! Hang in there! It is worth it. You are on a feedback loop and sometimes the Catch 22 becomes a bit much. Break the loop periodically by starting to see humor, beauty, and, um, some form of ironic view? I give a shit, and I don't even know you. Shout if you ever need anything--dunno if I can help, but it'll be worth the try. Promise. Rick
from sunnflower :
I've imagined my life as having a soundtrack sometimes too. I think you need to switch your music a bit - although I love your CD mix. It could be time for something more upbeat. Try Nicole Mullen - she's positive in the face of everything not always being great. It's like my daughter said after taking off with the John Mayer album she gave me for Christmas - you can really get into sad songs but you have to watch when you listen to them. Maybe you were listening to the sad songs when you were happy because that was a reasonable time to hear them. Maybe you should switch it around now for a little music lift. Take care!
from dasauce :
Happy Snow Day! --DatSauceGuy
from poetgrl224 :
looks like you and me are in the exact same state right now. At least theres a small comfort n knowing I'm not the only one Keep your head up girlie. -meredith
from dasauce :
Go, Mer, Go. See Mer Go. --SauceYaLater.
from bipolargirl :
you make me smile! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :):)
from over-now :
my boys came and rescued me.
from bipolargirl :
uh, no, we'll kill HER. my friend in who now lives in greece gets that - especially from the us soldiers and sailors from the base. she hates them. wonder why?
from bipolargirl :
have a great girlie night tonight!!!! you deserve it. and thanks for being a good and encouraging friend
from candid-revu :
Want your diary reviewed? Try candid-revu for your reviewing pleasure ;) *This isn't spam, we just want everyone to know we're open for business!* (shameless promotion, we know…)
from neuroticaa :
whoa! that "sad but true" bit? major revelation there - that hit close to home and it was only like 2 sentences. crazy. take care, ok? i mean it. <3
from maredeath :
okay, if you haven't already, get 'late at night' by buffalo tom. and um, 'summer in the city' by the lovin spoonfull. get some hayden, maybe 'my parents' house', and 'between us to hold' (i think that's what it's called), they're slower, but oh-so-good. and 'trinity bellwoods' by treble charger. and god there's so much. i hope i said at least one that you don't have already. oh, and 'johnny angel' and 'tiny dancer'. i don't know why, just that's what i feel like listening to right now.
from trulypoetic :
I am good. I am better.
from dasauce :
Your Father/Brother?
from over-now :
don't even worry about it. i'm too lazy to email it. hrm. im me and i shall send you the icon. aim, msn, or yahoo, no matter.
from over-now :
thanks for the kind words. what kind of icon would you like?
from thisisjohn :
oh WOW. I had NO idea I was a smart aleck!! (thanks :))
from thisisjohn :
http://thisisjohn.diaryland.com/010809_50.html :)
from wingedrealm :
Where did this obsession with Canada come from? Not that its a bad thing, being Canadian myself I happen to think its the greatest country in the world :) I really enjoy your diary, btw...
from cosmicshaman :
Now that's a getaway. Enjoy your time away from the city. It's rejuvinating and good for the soul. :o)
from tanked :
DUDE. samuel l. jackson was SO the person i had in mind when i made the ring. gahhhh, you rule. hah.
from tanked :
hun, i was just asking.
from tanked :
can you tell me why you want to be in BAM? because i'm starting to think it's just going to be just another diaryring to slap on your page.
from micklez :
I cant honestly say that I know alot about you. Plus the fact that I have only been reading your diary for a few weeks now. I have to tell you one thing though... : You are beautiful, no matter what they say Words can't bring you down, oh no You are beautiful, in every single way Yes words can't bring you down, oh no So don't you bring me down, today. Now, even though Christina sings it and I dont like her, it means something. Remember it.
from raven72d :
Do feel better, Miss M!
from raven72d :
Thank'ee for the hug, lovely one. You're kind and pettable.
from flyinby :
i understand the jaw pain, i have it to. i've been on so many meds, and not one of them has helped me. i understand the fear you spoke of, the fear of sharing with a small group of strangers. i've kept this diary for a while with the intention of sharing, just to get it off my chest in a mostly safe enviroment, but i haven't posted more than one post about the whole ordeal. *shrug* i wish you luck. i wish you health. and i thank you for stopping by and wishing me well.
from trulypoetic :
Thanks for the encouragement. My mouth tastes like my tongue is sandpaper and my mouth is vinegar. What the hell? But I do "feel" better. Enough of those therapists that want to "talk" about it I said. I have to take something. But this is weird. So far other than my mouth tasting like ass and feeling strange, I'm feeling somewhat better. But it's only been a few hours. Maybe tonight my fingernails are going to fall out and stuff....lol Who knows...but at least I can laugh. I have no idea what's going to happen to me and we could conceivably lose everything and all end up homeless but I pray and have faith that things will work out. I must be f'd in the head to think these things at a time like this.
from sunnflower :
Hi and greetings from Suburban Island. I just wanted to let you know I was adding you to my DLand favorites. Also, I am probably the only person reading your diary that has seen U of Scranton. My family is from Scranton originally and my dad got his degree from U of Scranton. A couple years ago we took a road trip up there with my daughter so she and I could see the city and the U first hand. If you visit my weblog - http://littleisland.pitas.com you'll find a link to the Scranton webcam under City Views - it's part of my list of webcam views or as I like to call them - mini-vacations. It's the best I can do sometimes!
from ladyvaduva :
like your taste for musik.. ur rite.. like what u like and who gives a fuk.. its the way to be! like your journal :-)
from aigre-douce :
Aww, a fellow Thursday fan! I'm planning on going to their show in Pensacola this month, whee! Nice diary.
from helga87 :
i love tori amos! you kick bottom.
from skydawn :
fabulous layout, and writing :o)
from thisisjohn :
the late blooms give beauty, when all the other flowers have since blossomed and withered away.
from bipolargirl :
thanks. you really are a good friend. it might sound funny, but when i write i do think 'your friends meredith and michelle-(emogrrrl)' will understand. it really does give me comfort.
from bipolargirl :
i hope the group thing is ok. i do wish you all the best. part of me would like to do group therapy but theres the scared part to. you are brave, and don't measure your experience with somone else's. you need to be there and you will heal
from cosmicshaman :
You can't throw yourself off of a cliff today because I would miss you ;) I hope things got better for you today, and that therapy makes you feel better tomorrow. Drop me a line if it gets to be too much.
from sunnflower :
Hi - I just wanted to let you know how much I love your "It could only happen to...missmeridith" banner. It was one of the first banners I ran into when I started up on DLand and it is still one of my favorites.
from raven72d :
I hope '03 is a year of Good Stuff for you.
from bipolargirl :
have a great day off. if i do get out of my pj's today i think it will only be to go see a film.
from maredeath :
when angela gets over jordan on my so-called life, she dances around to 'blister in the sun' by violent femmes, it's not lyrically super appropriate, but man is it fun to dance in your p.j.s to. love, meredith.
from poetgrl224 :
if theres one thing I'm good at, it's angry girl music you can't go wrong with the following: Alanis Morisette(but only on Jagged Little Pill), Fiona Apple( especially "Sleep to Dream") anything by Bikini Kill, L7 ("Shitlist") anything by Ani Difranco( even the stuff about being in love is empowering), Sleater- Kinney, "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett, Mary Prankster( anything is good my personal favorite though is "Takes His Place") The Donnas are always fun, So is Dar Williams... thats all I can think of now. Hope that helps. Meredith
from cosmicshaman :
Hi Meredith. Just wanted to wish you a happy holiday. Enjoy your party. Keep with your current atitude and you will find the guy that's right for you. Even though I was drawn to them, once I quit hanging with the "complicated" sort, really nice guys started coming into my life. May the new year bring you the guy of your dreams :o) - Marla
from maliciousd :
I was drawn to your journal because of the background pic. I've felt like that for so long it's ridiculous...I was hooked because of the way you write and because I was just recently diagnosed with bi-polar...anyway it's kinda cool to know you're out here in DLAND.
from bipolargirl :
it sounds like you are doing a little better. when you get a chance, check your yahoo messenger, i have been on there, hoping that you would be to so we could chat. i SO know what you mean about wanting to be held and loved and respected. believe me, a guy like that would have sucked every drop of self-esteem out of you. if you EVER want to chat, i'm here.
from raven72d :
They didn't break you, girl-- and that's important. I do want you to know that you have my thoughts and support. I hope that '03 is better for you... And you have friends here.
from darkdivine :
Oh, Meredith, I'm so so very sorry that this stuff has happend. I can offer my sympathy and empathy, You will find someone, I know it seems like everyone says that, but I promise. That you are worth so much and you will find some one, *hugs* I wish I could do more than offer up these small words. - M.
from trulypoetic :
I'm soooooo sorry about recent events. Someday...someday... Merry Christmas!
from raven72d :
No code... all vur' straightforward... I'm just terrified of never having a lover again, never having a real career, being fifty one day and dying alone here...never getting to be part of any of the dreams I had once...
from neon7c :
xox.
from raven72d :
Scared of... being shown up in public as a failure, of never having anything, of being trapped where I am. Failure-- once you're seen to fail, no one will ever cut you slack, give you goodies, believe in you ever again. Unless I'm smart and clever, I'll never be able to leave this awful place. I have no other talents; smart and clever are all that I might have. And now I think I'm not any of that. I'm too poor and old to risk anything. I have no way to recover, no resources to fall back on.
from poetgrl224 :
Of course you can. I just need your e-mail address, for some reason I can't get it off your page. Hit me up at xpoetgrlx@hotmail.com
from bipolargirl :
hon, i'm so sorry about what's going on with him. i'm trying to be as objective as possible - it just doesn't smell good. i hate to say it but i've been down that road a few times and it's always the same --- it starts out the same, it ends up worse. the sick feeling you have in your stomach is the same too - listen to it. you are not 'giving up' if you walk away from someone else. you give up if you ignore that inner voice that is sick in your stomach. i almost wish i could get on a plane to philly right now and hug you to peices
from dasauce :
Thank you, Madam. Just finishing work for the night--and ideally the season. I may be able to take the next couple of weeks off with Jack (my son.) Know that there are a few of us boyz who manage to hang on to child-like while losing the -ish portion. You is a music fan? I don't play game/music/techno critic much anymore... Just periodically when I worked wid der GameSpy folks. But this one was fun because I was going to have to give up music and coffee--and the wonderful goof from Richmond that it was about called me to let me know I was nuts and then sent a note after getting his Grammy--thanking my Dumb Ass™. http://www.radiospy.com/2000/reviews/642.shtml
from trulypoetic :
I am so jealous...you have no idea. I just want to sit here and look at your christmas bonus and cry. When I'm done crying I'm sure I'll talk about why.....in my own diary.
from cosmicshaman :
Thanks for signing my guestbook :o) I try not to get too preachy, I used to hate it when people tried to inspire me when my life was just pure crap. It totally rubbed me the wrong way ;-) Just try and find at least on good thing every day, no matter how small it is. It really does take the edge off. Take care.
from cosmicshaman :
Oh girl! I feel your pain. I've totally been there. In fact, the town I'm in now has only just recently been released from years of negative and depressing memories for me. Day by day, bit by bit, it gets better. And when things slide back, they get straightened out quicker and quicker each time. Just keep doing what's best for you and it WILL get better. I swear. It just takes time, and lots of it. *hug*
from raven72d :
Scribble scribble scribble...
from raven72d :
What are you working at? Drop me an e-mail at Raven72D@yahoo.com sometime...
from raven72d :
How's life? Any Xmas plans? I handed my grades in yesterday, so I can sleep through til 07 Jan 03...
from bipolargirl :
they cut my medicaid, where everything was free. now i'm on medicare, where doc. visits are 20% of the total bill and perscriptions are full price. they want me on risperdal - that's $200 out the door, plus lexapro and trileptal - around $90 each. and now my therapist visits are $20 (4x a month) and my psychatrist's visits are $25 (2x / month). thank God my grandma is still alive and i still have her house to live in, otherwise my cat and i would be eating out of the same dish. i know things will get better, and now that i've been on the script for 30 days i can get my meds through Canada. i'm just really pissed at our health care system right now. the government really doesn't care about the mentally ill. in fact, they want us to get worse, so they can catch us doing bad things, like rent delinquincy and drugs, so we can go to private prisons and make money for the rich and make the middle-class tax-payers mad at us for being indigent and spending their money.
from waiting4love :
I'm back! I can't wait to catch up with your diary. I had to lock my old one and choose this new name....There's not much in there yet, but give me time! Lots of love Waiting4Love (previously azure-bijou)
from bipolargirl :
i'm a slob - my room's a mess - i ALWAYS vow to clean up. i do a little, get overwhelmed, then say 'fuck it.' one of these days i'm just gonna get a maid
from maredeath :
hey mer, could it be that you're not suppose to drink while on some types of meds? maybe that's what is decreasing your tolerency.
from shortst101 :
I'm glad he called, hang in there.
from cosmicshaman :
Thanks for caring :o) All is well now.
from bipolargirl :
thanks for the good wishes. sounds like you had a beautiful morning!
from flyinby :
your diary has a very inspired look, the image of the woman clutching herself, holding herself, looking so tragic . . . it speaks to viewers. good job.
from recall :
i really like your most recent entry. overall the site is beautiful. take care.
from trulypoetic :
awwwwwww..... but then again...YOU GO GIRL! Get it out.
from gcchick182 :
snoooooow! :)
from cosmicshaman :
Love your diary, it's beautiful. I'm new to this site. Therapy is actually a good thing, and it looks like you're doing it the right way -- getting paid instead shelling out the cash ;) Post traumatic stress is not fun. Been there. Hope your anxiety hasn't been too debilitating.
from fire4jesus :
hey honey i hope to hear more about your therapy. i hope it went not so tramatically. You are a strong woman. and its exciting your getting paid!!
from heartshaped :
ohh love. <3
from oipunkgrunge :
im in north jersey...morris county...i went to school in montclair though...so yeah your diary is pretty cool and u seem to be pretty hot..haha..rock on..
from lulu-skitzo :
yah, Mis did a wikkid job, i'm so happy with it. i knew that she did your's, she showed it to me when she was giving me some examples of her work. i liked your's alot. -LuLu
from fluffed :
wow your diary's nice. understatement. how do u even change the background and font.
from bipolargirl :
11.27.02 7:38 a.m. i'm not a big fan of thanksgiving either. but, whaddya gunna do? i didn't see johnny last night, i thought against it. ken and i have a meeting today with a company for a retail idea with one of our artists we are working for. wish us luck!!!!!! lemme know if you want to see a pic - i won't post it public, but i'll send it to you - ken is so ,,, mmmm. he looks good whan he takes his shirt off to shave right in front of me, or the time i got to peek at him changing into his fresh-ironed work shirt. or the picture he showed me of him - yum. i hope it's not too obvious to him or anyone else i'm GAGA over this guy, i really think i'm playing it cool and feeling comfortable just hanging out with him, smoking pot, talking about art, and laughing together at silly, misc. stuff. oh boy, i don't think this is good. and another question, what's with guys taking their shirts off lately? johnny took off his shirt the first night we went to his place. granted, it was to show me his tattoos, since they are his drawings. they are pretty damn cool. it looks like they are done in crayon. but, i certianly didn't ASK to see them, ESPECIALLY not 5 minutes after taking our jackets off. crazy. i'm not complaining about either view, i'm just wondering if it's a trend;) hey, hope you feel better
from oipunkgrunge :
nice diary :op
from supernigger :
it looks like some bitch is curled up at the bottom.. who hit her in the stomach?.. and did it shut her up?
from plainsimple :
your plain & simple review is posted here: http://plainsimple.diaryland.com/neon.html
from jelybeanie32 :
On your profile
from jelybeanie32 :
Everytime I read your comment I have to smile
from raven72d :
Anytime. I like your site; I like reading your thoughts. Stay in touch.
from trulypoetic :
that's the shit that happens to me....lol No pizza then?
from raven72d :
Demons that appear as ex-lovers... I'm so aware of what that's like...
from raven72d :
Many thanks, lovely one!
from bipolargirl :
sounds like an interesting weekend. i'm on yahoo if ya ever have time to chat
from thisisjohn :
its not really so much sadness or pain that i feel. those elements have diminished over time, and the end result is where i am now. i kind of like it. its somewhat difficult to explain. but i tried my best. thanks for caring. <3
from shortst101 :
Unfortunately we all do have shitty days, but if you are like me, we look for to the few in between ones that make it all worthwhile.
from bipolargirl :
hey girl, just sayin hi. i can't stand sitting up, either. i got major boy drama goin' on now. i probably won't write all of it on my site
from amalthea23 :
i know the unreasonable jealous pang, you read me, and must know that. you must focus on the differences between you two girls, there will be some, as he is with you, and not her, and you must have faith in them...
from shortst101 :
Awwwwwwww, i'm sorry you aren't feeling well and thanks for your notes when i was feeling bad too, i really appreciate it. The more I read your words, the more I want to read. *hugs*
from jedi-mouse :
I've been back in town :P ok, ok, I will update, me promise!
from amalthea23 :
thanks, girl! i dig your page and you are now a floetic!
from trulypoetic :
A man that makes tiramisu? How can a girl not think about that one for hours and hours and days and days….??? Uh..yeah my minds been busy. lol By the way…I noticed on your profile you said, “scribble” Your words are far prettier than scribbles.
from mewreview :
Mew! Your mewreview is finished!
from trulypoetic :
How did you know? How did you know? What was it that I said? When did you know that I was talking about livingwreck? I don't even speak to him, just read his diary really. Isn't it odd how we can draw a story from someone we've never met??
from purplelagoon :
Thanks for adding to the quiet ones :), keep writing x
from thisisjohn :
im listening to the tape. i like it. good job. you really are a good singer. you can sing for my band one day. :) we could be like Ida.
from trulypoetic :
i put an old oven mitt on that was missing it's top part from overusage..OUCH!!!!! I forgot that's why I got a new one...that was in the wash. Argh. But Bucky kissed my booboo's so...*smile*
from trulypoetic :
azure-blue is having an affair with a married man but thinks nothing at all for or about his wife. I brought that to her attention, she dropped my diary. Lameness. People want to be lied to? I just do not understand that stuff. Like me, don't like me..whatever. I'm pounding out my frustrations etc on my keyboard, that's all. I don't need anyone to lie to me to make it feel worthy.
from skarekrow :
i still love you.
from darkdivine :
Thank you so much for the birthday wish. And don't worry about the taggy board. it hates everyone today.
from trulypoetic :
most writers flip flop in their writing style. look at my diary. its a beach full of em. ;-)
from maredeath :
man, your such a good diarylander! always on topic and listen. good work. and thanks, you're always so supportive.
from thisisjohn :
hi. i am doing okay. not great, but, not the best either. internal conflicts. yeah. but anyways, how exciting. i cant wait to hear. thanks so much for the effort you put into to making and sending. <3
from bipolargirl :
i am so glad your family is proud of you. it's a great feeling.
from burnzreviewz :
hey your burnz review is up at http://burnzreviewz.diaryland.com/neon7c.html check it out
from trulypoetic :
ohhhhhhhh I like it. Sometimes its just so nice to have a change. ;-)
from trulypoetic :
you are oh so very wrong. You deserve him, he deserves you. And he has come to his senses. It takes a smart man to see a multilayered woman with tons to offer. He's not blind if he can see your beauty now. Embrace your happiness, you've paid for it plenty with all your past pains.
from raven72d :
You can always buy me hot chocolate. That's a most nice thing to do.
from raven72d :
Sushi... I'm such a major sushi fan...and one thwarted by poverty. Though I do have a box full of packets of mail-order miso soup. Do beware the Yeti...They come down from the mountains this time of year. And remember: Small Mongolian Ponies are Our Friends.
from raven72d :
I always think of Halloween as a Officially Decadent Holiday, so getting kissed is on the agenda...though by a girl in a vur' slinky vampire outfit is best... And how is *your* Philadelphia right now?
from bipolargirl :
wow - that IS wierd!!!!! i feel for ya. and still, no phone call yet :(. i hate boys.
from raven72d :
I'm afraid that on Halloween not only will I never get kissed-- the marauding Yeti will get me.
from bipolargirl :
it sucks that new guy bailed. i haven't gotton a phone call, either
from bipolargirl :
giel, i totally relate to the crisis center chaos. yes, you are one of the few who have a clue. i just am making a new site to display my writing. a few people in the past few days have asked to see it, and i don't want EVERYBODY in my hometown to read my journal. so, it you get a chance, take a look: http://www.geocities.com/chick213@sbcglobal.net/chick213.html unfortunately, it's only a free geocities site now, so you have to include everything i typed.
from bipolargirl :
man,,,, i HATE the 'phone game.' it really sucks. hopefully i'm not in a 'phone game' yet. we left eachother sat. night just with a 'goodbye' and smile and hug. i thought that i didn't have to say anything. i didn't want to say anything. he hasn't called yet - but so far that's ok --- let's keep each other updated.... you really rock!!!!
from bipolargirl :
i just have to say i LOVE that you write.
from thunderdave :
If you're going through the area, I suggest the Long Valley Pub and Brewery on 517. A little expensive, but great microbrews and some interesting food (wild game sausage, anyone?). Spent some quality time there tonight, last night...206 goes through Chester, into Bridgewater, etc. but it's close enough...24 goes right through LV, though.
from trulypoetic :
that was me "happiness" on your guestbook. I can't get it to work for me. It won't let me type in the name field. Oddness cause other people can sign it.
from trulypoetic :
hey you... thank you! For some reason I can't sign your guestbook anymore. ;-( Strange.
from maredeath :
oh, man, i'm so happy for you.....now i just have to start working on my fame. and here i come......
from thunderdave :
Yeah, that makes sense. It's a very...unique area. Mix of old-timers, farmers, decent God-fearing folks...and then you have the prententious suburbanites who have moved there within the last 10 years, stringing their attention-deficit, spoiled, drug addled children along behind them (no offense if you've got ADD)
from thunderdave :
LONG VALLEY! WOO! WOO! YEAH! Alright, I'm done. Have you been to my fair hometown at all, perhaps to buy some antiques or pumpkins or something? Or go to one of our several overpriced, fancy restaurants that cater to the suburban NY crowd who figure we're "quaint?"
from bipolargirl :
i think this is some of your best writing yet. your heart is pure talent.
from lovelynight :
I really like your diary. Your layout is totally awesome. Your writing is also highly excellent. May I add you to my favorite diaries list, please?
from jonathan :
Thanks for the note. My Dad had a full life, too full many would say! A rollercoaster. Four wives, four kids, four homes, fortunes made and much of it lost. I was delighted to learn that we're giving him a celebratory send off next week.
from lzrdking :
So sorry about your back. I have TWO things for that... One involves fire The other involves strong fingers. I got both :) Mike
from dharmaqueen :
oooh new layout!
from bipolargirl :
i LOVE your new design. i loved the old one too. and i am SOO GLAD YOU ARE HAPPY. i am getting there too - thanks god for good friends, great diaryland friends, and prozac
from lzrdking :
Yes, you're in BIG trouble :D :D :D Mike
from bipolargirl :
thanks for wiritng in my time of need. i'm a little embarrased, but my appreciation of your concern is overwhelming. THANKS SO MUCH. i'm only on yahoo - because everything else seems to fuck with my system. but if you ever want to, you can IM me at bipolarchick213@yahoo.com
from emogrrrl :
I am soooo jealous of you seeing Ben Folds. Grrrrr. Where are you seeing them at anyway? Michelle
from lzrdking :
Never knew you liked Marley! Keep rockin!!! Mike
from azure-bijou :
:*( Now I'm sad too
from omzhaara :
Thank you for your kind words :) I was nervous posting pics, I'm always nervous "meeting" people for the first time, and posting pics felt like meeting a bunch of people for the first time :)
from bipolargirl :
yes, enjoying yourself is a good thing. EMBRACE IT. even if it is fleeting -- EMBRACE IT.. because it is and/or was a part of your life. even scary movies have good parts that everyone remembers. don't hold any expectations to it, because it will only make those good feelings feel insignificant, expecially if they don't turn out to your own dreams -- and no one can predict your dreams, so take the good parts that happen in your reality, and have faith in those
from lzrdking :
Quoting Nietzsche, I see... Don't worry about how "good" your "story" is, no one will think its insignificant. I'll always be here for you. Mike
from silentone :
Thanks for joining the Survivors :)
from bipolargirl :
i really relate to your latest entry - talking about sex is sometimes hard for me too - i keep putting off seeing a therapist for my date rape - i know i can't procrastinate forever, because i will be forever scarred and my future relationships will be forever doomed. however, i'm just not ready yet. and i hate online horny peeps as well. some might call me a hypocrite, because i do talk about sex, orgasms, and longing for someone. i talk about that stuff and feel that stuff when i feel safe. if someone else brings it up i usually feel threatened. a dog will go outside wagging his tail on free will, but if a stick is waving over his head he will just cower and pee in the corner - bad dog ....
from mestgirl125 :
wow i looooove ur layout. awesome-ness. u sound really cool. keep up the good work
from bipolargirl :
i know how you feel. i don't think i'm wron - you are intelligent and creative.
from thisisjohn :
i had a dream about snotgirl. i gave her a chess set. a plastic one. i have weird dreams about people. even those ive never met in person.
from thisisjohn :
what did you dream about me?
from unique-views :
Your review has been posted. You can find it by going to: http://unique-views.diaryland.com/neon7c.html Enjoy!
from shane123 :
Howdy!
from jenne1017 :
purple giraffes frollick in the ever blue grass while pink elephants dance with orange rats
from azure-bijou :
Thank you Mer! I hope it goes well! You know I so often read your diary and think "Oh my God, she's me"...hahaha...scary how similar two people worlds apart can be...take care xxx
from bubblesburst :
Got to your dairy through your banner, and wow. Amazing.
from livingwreck :
Thanks heaps for the offer...originally it was going to be October then it moved to the start of November..and now it may not happen, at least for now...I'm not a happy camper.....Thanks again, and if it changes I'll let you know...I'm off to have a bit of a sulk.....
from maredeath :
my lord, what did you do to cause all this strife...? (i agree, whenever you do anything for yourself it wrecks something with others. if only there were only me that mattered. sigh.)
from diaryreviews :
Hi! This is Maggie from Diary Reviews, just letting you know that you've been reviewed : http://diaryreviews.diaryland.com/neon7c.html Enjoy! =)
from trulypoetic :
"cross out the eyes" - thursday<-------45 minute download ...worth every minute. ;-)
from raven72d :
"Mister Holmes, they were the footprints of a gigantic (basset) hound!"
from raven72d :
I do believe that there's a vast (albeit invisible) Aztec step-pyramid in Philadelphia... thus the name for Temple University...
from raven72d :
Is it possible that the dimensional walls are leaking and that our lives are becoming "Seinfeld"?
from raven72d :
Hmmmm... Are things spontaeously combusting around you?
from raven72d :
How is life? I always enjoy hearing from you...
from trulypoetic :
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you on this "nasty" guestbook entry thing. I was reminded again that I never replied to you tonight when "Loki" popped up on my guestbook. I pour my heart out in the most honest way I know how about my feelings. All I really want in this world is for someone to matter to me enough that I somehow manage to matter to them. Who knows if "t" is that someone, but Loki surely can't say that a guy throws out the L word because and only because they're horny? I mean perhaps that is true, but is it any of his/her business. And why do people have this need to be cruel and mean? Why? I will never understand. Sometimes I erase these things. Other times I just leave it there because the world at large can sometimes suck so bad that you never want to open your mouth again. I don't know.... I sometimes just don't know.... I hope you don't have these experiences, because they just suck.
from deepbluefunk :
everything falls int the hands that i lift in the midst of the rain.--neruda. hello dear, i'm back around after all, please visit, glad to find you well. xo, kat
from shownah :
happy birthday :)
from maredeath :
i love bananarama! (no, i'm not being sarcastic. i used to have a tape of theirs and i've been missing it for years and years....sigh....)
from maredeath :
some times i do know. sometimes. sometimes yes.
from darkdivine :
((Lots of Hugs)) I wanted to say something here, but sometimes my little mind runs and takes all my good thoughts with it. I wanted to say I understand, and you will find the perfect man, and he will find you. I hope this helped. sometimes I'm not as good with words as I'd like to be.
from an6elo :
I just thought you might like to check out my July 16 entry. LoL. Another one that's not for the kiddies, though. xoxo, ~An6eLo
from heartshaped :
thank you so much. xox.
from maredeath :
you can read wretchdpixie if you want to. email me and i'll let you in.....we merediths need to find some middle ground of living. i'm up and down and round. but never settled....sigh....
from raven72d :
I'll remind you to download it... Go check your e-mail, too...
from raven72d :
Right now I really want to hear Cowboy Junkies sing "This Street, That House, This Man"...
from sparkliegal :
Yea, there are a lot of songs I wish were written for me...
from poetgrl224 :
I completely understand the confusion... my supposed former infatutation junkie showed up on my doorstep today, sure it was just to catch up, theres always the underlying thing...
from raven72d :
I'm glad you liked Burnet's paintings. I so want some of them as posters I can frame... I know some art history, but I'm hopeless at drawing or painting, so I'm always amazed at people who can do art on their own.
from raven72d :
A friend just sent me a link to a painter she discovered-- Richard Burlet. His work takes my breath away. Take a look at his paintings and tell me what you think: www.martinlawrence.com/burlet.html He paints like Klimt, and ever since I lived in Vienna I've been this major fan of Klimt.
from raven72d :
I'll let you know if I come up to Philly. I love the Sundays' version of "Wild Horses"... It's an incredibly beautiful, haunting song...
from raven72d :
Well, I do want to see the Mutter Museum, and I want a philly cheese steak (though without the cheese-- food allergy)... What's the dance club scene like? And the Japanese restaurants? And are there more or fewer space aliens than in Pierre, South Dakota?
from raven72d :
You have a vur' fun diary, Miss M! I have friends in Philly I mean to visit, and you mke the city sound like fun... I'll be back to read you a lot...
from heartshaped :
<3<3<3
from ille :
hey nice diary
from modernboy978 :
well miss meredith...you're not a poseur...as long as you continue not belonging to a scene or categorizing yourself likelike some morons do, then you're not...so don't worry...just keep being yourself.... stay beautiful.....jack mutha-fuckin champagne
from jedi-mouse :
ok, MM is a mesage board and the girls are friends of mine, we are jokin around lol
from jedi-mouse :
I never said I was gonna do it LOL
from jedi-mouse :
yeah, me like online or something LOL Gold membership?? woah!! slow down buckaroo LOL :P
from trulypoetic :
wait....just to clarify. I do NOT live there anymore!!!!!
from trulypoetic :
yup PA sucks! I'm from Johnstown. Talk about a hellhole. lol
from sopraltodear :
Oh Honey! I'm so sorry that you feel that way about yourself! I know, I've been there and it's so hard. you don't ever feel comfortable. I totally and completley understand! Babe, you're beautiful! That's all you need to know! ~Court
from modernboy978 :
hey thanx for the note....yeah the megan thing was a joke...i'm just obsessed with her...actually if you remember how mean my original entries were...you can imagine what i'm leaving out....cause i'm training her older sister that told her not to date me....stay beautiful.... jack champagne
from maredeath :
give up. someonelikesyou is fucking hateful. and dumb.
from robskeen :
PS guys named Rob are good stuff ;)
from robskeen :
Hello young Philly Filly, you have diet lemon? That's so boss. The vanilla is good stuff-- almost more of an aftertaste, subtle but present. They actually didn't overdo it. Quite nice. I'll have another one as soon as the diet version comes out... Have fun! - R
from sopraltodear :
YEA! I'm so glad you had a good move! Good luck with Rob3. I hope it all works out well. Thee more days till graduation! I can't wait! Hope you get the job that you want and the Philly is nice to you! ~Court
from trulypoetic :
Far better to do what is your gut instinct and so congrats for not caving. You go girl!
from sopraltodear :
Okay, call me retarded but when I saw my name in your diary I freaked! I feel so special now! Thank you so much! And get packin' girl, you ain't got much time left! :-) j/k!
from sopraltodear :
Hey girl! I just wanted to tell you how much I look forward to reading your diary and how dissapointed I am when I find that you have not yet updated(which is not often). Good luck with the move! Talk to ya later! ~Courtney
from iremainyours :
ghetto booties fo lyfe! ha. you're nice. welcome to the ring.
from maredeath :
which cd do you have? left and leaving or fallow? it seems like you would like l.l. best.....
from maredeath :
i actually didn't press the link twice. diaryland is just plain crazy. i say.
from maredeath :
tooooo many merediths. i'll kill them all. ha.
so how do you like the weakerthans? they are kinda punky.
from maredeath :
tooooo many merediths. i'll kill them all. ha.
so how do you like the weakerthans? they are kinda punky.
from shotstarr :
just gotta say that your name rocks socks (i'm meredith, too.).
from maredeath :
you like weakerthans ?!?
from trulypoetic :
I like this layout. I wanna jump in and touch that droplet of perfect water.
from sopraltodear :
Hey, Just wanted to drop you a line and say I love the new design. It's great. Hope life treats you well! ~Courtney
from thisisjohn :
i write about everyone. people i see. people i dont see. people that see me. people that dont see me. people in particular, people that dont even exist, sometimes. i write be feeling, whatever comes out. thats who i write about.

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