Well, yeah, that would seem to a bit of a change, since the Met and Manhattan is really, secretly a lot like Oklahoma and middle school. I sort of remember you went to college in New Jersey (?) so I guess you know that... Have a good New Year, and yeah, I think working at the Met would be a blast! :)

from mangofarmer :

I went to NYC this summer and went to the Met. Well, actually I just went to the gift shop because I was exhausted and didn't want to spend another $20 on museum admission. But I would have gone in had I known they have actual suits of armor!!

from swimmmer72 :

You make me laugh! :)

from swimmmer72 :

Imagine Ryan's disappointment.... ;)

from errantnights :

they can just shift you around like that? i feel slightly less embarrassed for all the foolish teachers i had.

from swimmmer72 :

Yeah, like I said, eighth graders suck. :)

from mangofarmer :

As a Jacob fan also... ehhhhhhhh. And that's all I have to say about Breaking Dawn for now.

from swimmmer72 :

WOW, did you get stuck!! I don't mean to add to your anxiety level, but as a former teacher who also got put into that type of situation, I can feel your pain! As if going into a new curriculum wasn't going to be difficult enough, MIDDLE SCHOOLERS!!!! In my opinion, they are the worst pain-in-the-asses in the entire school system, except for administrators, of course. Especially eight graders; probably why I'm not still teaching. The good thing about social studies is that there are lots of movies to help you out and short clips can absolutely get you through the day. Good Luck!

from chasha :

Just reading random diaries and came across yours. I like your style.

from mangofarmer :

Clash of the Titans, Han Solo, and Jacob? Yes, yes, and YES.

from raven72d :

Clever, fun entries! Good luck with the Cyber Nations war.

from raven72d :

Clever, fun entries! Good luck with the Cyber Nations war.

from swimmmer72 :

It's nice to read another entry from you. Your particular wit has been missed. :)

from swimmmer72 :

re: DW-G. i've done that before too, the most frustrating example being the infamous PHONE NUMBER IN THE WALLET with, that's right, NO NAME. i have ahlzeimers in my family, what's your excuse? :)

from swimmmer72 :

hahaha, funny entry! Happy New Year!! :)

from mangofarmer :

I haven't seen the new Omen movie but I do enjoy Liev Schreiber. However what I really wanted to tell you is that there is a sequel to The Librarian: The Quest for the Spear on TNT tonight. I can't remember what it's called, but it still has Noah Wyle and I'm sure it will be equally ridiculous.

from mangofarmer :

You went to Walmart on Black Friday?! You're either very brave, or very crazy.

from poolagirl :

Maybe if Hiro had a little friend to keep him company.......some pretty little thing with blonde hair and go go boots. Living in a drawer might not be so bad. Maybe?

from mangofarmer :

I'm so sorry you had such a crappy day. But I have to say it makes my heart glad that kids still use the word 'bunghole'. That makes me very nostalgic for Beavis and Butthead.

from batten :

Geez woman! You've chosen the single most dangerous and maddening profession besides Alaskan fishing. Hang in there. I don't know that it gets better but there are some rewards lurking about in the corners. Thinking calming thoughts your way. -J

from poolagirl :

Speak like a pirate, ye' scurvy dog!

from swimmmer72 :

as a lifelong Sabres fan, Bobbie Clarke leaving isn't necessarily good news for Buffalo, especially given his most recent work. still, you deserve better and I'd love to see the Flyers return to respectability, as long as it isn't at the expense of my Sabres. :)

from poolagirl :

You are amazingly funny. I shall add thee to my treasures of Diaryland. That should deserve a trombone solo or two, don't you think?

from swimmmer72 :

the good crazy? hmmmmmmm....... :P

from swimmmer72 :

i think he's right about the facelift thing. :)

from papotheclown :

i actually did convert over to dan brownism. its a wonderful religion. michal crichton and john grisham are our prophets. we have a weekly class about how the bible is attacking and undermining our faith. you should check it out. in the name of the father (dan brown), the son (tom hanks), and the holy ghost (ron howard) we welcome you.

from theshivers :

re: David Blaine...NO! I mean, yes...i want to kick him in the face (or elsewhere)

from marysensei :

YES!! I knew I hadn't run out of options. But could he forget that I am 27 and not a virgin??

from theshivers :

i am so glad you are watching Top Model marathons too...not that I don't want you to write your book. But selfishly, it makes me feel better...

from snideblonde :

My format was designed by the lovely Ms. Neko Case. She's the bomb. Thanks lady, nice to hear from you.

from swimmmer72 :

across the lip is bad enough, BUT, if you really want to avoid unpleasant, please take care to avoid contact with your eyes. especially if you wear contacts! from one who seems to keep making the same mistake, especially with chicken wings! :)

from marysensei :

Marebear78 moved in with me. dani and chicago can help you catch up;)

from swimmmer72 :

some lessons are not meant to ever be learned. and that's not entirely a bad thing. :)

from cagedspirit :

It's been awhile since I've had pear Jelly Bellys, but I always liked them quite a bit...so if you have some you don't want and you're offering a dollar to eat them...a dollar is a dollar and I can always use the cash.

from soxconfused :

You should try the toasted marshmallow jelly beans. Oh god, they are excellent. (wow, this was really random from someone you don't know..)

from swimmmer72 :

you're right about BIG BROTHER. it is awful, and ultimately, just filler in between seasons of survivor, but i still watch it anyway. no, i can't explain why. i'm betting james is next, but i'm not even sure he's still on the table. ;)

from stuthesheep :

I just stumbled across your diary looking for people with cool names - thoroughly enjoy your work, I like short and snappy. Take care!

from swimmmer72 :

you're completely right about the signs of adulthood. i'd add that the substance from exotic locales that we get excited about would be coffee. hmmmm,.... :)

from marebear78 :

Ugh, I hate how he assumes he's going to have sex with the models. He's like Anthony Michael Hall's character in "Sixteen Candles."

from theshivers :

i think my ovaries shriveled up and died just reading that entry...good lord people!

from marebear78 :

Dude, join the club. I think eharmony is a cult!!

from mangofarmer :

My grad loans are from Sallie Mae. My undergrad loans are from someplace else. Hmmm.

from papotheclown :

suck? you? no! listen dear, for i am being sincere. you are my favorite, my absolute favorite of all the blogs on our beloved diaryland. you must, MUST, be a guest star. username: papotheclown password: atthecircus whenever, whatever, just as long as its sometime. ground rules: 1. tell me when your posting. (dont want to cover up your words) 2. introduce yourself to the world (this is all about self-promotion. or something.) all we need is the diaryland name. you, of course, can give all of your sordid details if you want. thanks for even considering this. -ryan

from swimmmer72 :

no, not everybody loves raymond. i, for one, have no opinion about raymond whatsoever, as i have never seen an episode either. maybe when it gets to reruns. :)

from marebear78 :

I am in complete agreement about the Burger King king and the sheep boys. I mean, are they TRYING to give us all nightmares??!!

from swimmmer72 :

i saw that, literally minutes ago!!! i don't have that much of a problem with cruise, but katie holmes is adorable, and i don't see her with him at all. of course, jennifer garner with ben affleck amazes me, too. no, i'm not a ben fan, either. :)

from muffindisco :

HEY! Nice layout.

from swimmmer72 :

good selection of books. i especially agree with "watership down". i bet i've read it 10 times. :)

from cloud9girl :

Congrats on the anti-children at a young age deal. If all our family members like marriage and kids so much, they are free and welcome to have as many as they want (well, not marriages. Unless they live in Utah.), but imposing the little buggers on other people-- that's just mean.

from marebear78 :

Absolutely NOTHING is sacred in this country!!! Fucking Red States and their love of shitty movies!! It's all their fault!!!

from cloud9girl :

WHAT!? A classic Katherine Hepburn movie and they let ASHTON FREAKIN' KUTCHER star in it? As the LEAD? As if that movie needed to be remade at all anyway! Oh ma word, fire Hollywood. Fire ALL OF THEM.

from arc-angel666 :

Good Evening Ms Platypus: You awoke to a wounded thumb! Did you read the morning papers or watch the News? Was there reports of aggravated assaults, mention of the weapon as possibly being a Thumb? Do you suffer from N.U.V.T.S.? (Nocturnal Unconscious Vigorous Thumb Sucking)? Could you have been a victim of Alien Abduction, and subjected to dastardly DNA Thumb Experiments? Do you own a Venus Flytrap Plant, if so is it near your bed? Is there the possiblity while sleeping you could have accidently stuck your thumb into its carnivorous mouth? Do you have a Cat or Dog that doesn't like your thumb? Are you deeply religious? And because of your faith you have received a much lesser form of the Stigmata? Of Course, How stupid of me, why didn't I remember this. According to the National Geography and Mad Magazine Certain Platypus, actually only Female Nude Paltypus have Marsupial Pouches located in ther Thumbs. Have you felt movement in your thumbs lately?

from arc-angel666 :

Good Afternoon Ms Nude Platypus: I was surfing the members area when I came across a Nude Platypus....odd aren't all Platypus nude? I have already seen a Nude Platypus what I'd like to see is a Dressed Platypus. Upon further inspection I found that you claimed to be a High School student in order to enter a HS Basketball game and save a dollar. I was a bit taken back until I realized you bought a DP with your ill gotten gains...Ah a clever Nude Platypus. There is something you should know, I know Matt Damon and his head isn't square, although his forehead is encroaching and compromising his eyebrows causing his eyes to bulge it isn't square:-) Your diary is funny and I shall visit often if that's okay with you? My name is Michael please to meet you Ms Platypus

from mangofarmer :

You should try the regular Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. It's awesome. In my opinion, diet soda of any kind is the most vile stuff on earth. Diet Dr. Pepper does NOT taste like regular Dr. Pepper. Yuck.

from marebear78 :

Word!! That damn song is bad enough on the radio, and then you hear street musicians playing the original all around New York, and you want to scream.

from mangofarmer :

Congratulations on your minesweeper success. That game is quite useful for time wastage, I have to say.

from elgac :

You are brillant, thank you for the laughs.

from marebear78 :

not to be such a repeat message person, but I completely concur on the Daily Show overdose of hotties. I remember Anderson from his Channel One days....such a stud. I will have to tune in!

from marebear78 :

You are hilarious. Go Bob the Cat!!

from trishtastic :

Today is my official, personal Un-Lurker Day. I don't always comment, but I always read! Trish xx

from cloud9girl :

I was seriously beginning to wonder if I was the only one that watched Lord of the Rings solely for Dominic Monaghan. And he's on a TV show!? Crap and half. I'm in Japan for a year and don't get American TV. I've been swindled!!

from swimmmer72 :

that's a great idea!! something like "all jenny on the block, all the time!!". maybe a brand new Jenny on the block station...JTV, until marc anthony go ballistic. i like it! :)

from swimmmer72 :

the paycheck ploy is a new one. they usually say you've won the lottery or the fantabulastic prize behind door #2. i'm not sure most hard core criminals actually get a paycheck, so you would be an exception, which is why they decided to come up with a new "hook". maybe if you offer to give back the pens and pencils.... yeah, you hit the nail on the head with your bush assessment. :)

from batten :

They just crack me up. Sometimes I think I like 'em more than Colin. I'm seriously considering buying myself the whole series for those days when it's all about comfort food (mac and cheese, hot chocolate) and a Veggie Tales marathon. Y'know?

from swimmmer72 :

as long as they are willing to mail the paycheck to you. if they want you to go back to jersey to get it, i wouldn't go. that's usually a ploy to get you to come back to their jurisdiction so they can arrest you for something. it usually works, too. :)

from swimmmer72 :

i agree with you. hockey, unlike football who had the good sense to put in an effective salary cap, has about a half dozen franchises making money. the rest are losing their ass, and all the players seem to think about is more money. they just don't get it. the contracts that some of the players are getting screw it up for everybody, and that's besides there not being enough talent to sustain the number of teams they have now anyway. i love hockey, but losing a season right now isn't going to bother me. selfish idiots.

from gumphood :

I have liked dipshit, and axe-wound.

from swimmmer72 :

yeah, being a social studies teacher, i'd LOVE to have students like that. (i think) :)

from swimmmer72 :

responding to your entry from yesterday, i AM a male swimmer. that being said, nobody has ever compared me to michael phelps. "shrug..." you are right, though. ;)

from the-pala :

Hey there, Ran across your site through Shanny and thought I'd say hello. Mr. Belvidere - ha ha! "Streaks on the china, never mattered before. Who cares? And when you dropkick your jacket as you came through the door, no one glares..." Long live Leon Rathbone! Mind if I add you as a buddy?

from bevin :

I have always wanted a chicken as a pet. I am totally jealous that you have a whole coop of them. Even if you hate them.

from swimmmer72 :

i was happy for andreychuk, too. as a former buffalonian and sabres fan, he deserved to finally win it all, regardless of what team it was with. :)

from n-o-v-a :

I still think 'The Swan' is just as bad or worse. Women have drastic surgeries to make themselves feel better about themselves, spend minths in bandages and then compete in a 'beauty' contest to see who is the new swan. *gag* sick

from swimmmer72 :

i watched the last 15 or 20 minutes, just in time to catch the questions at the end. the donald wasn't a factor, in fact, the only thing worse than dinner with justin would have been dinner with the donald. but, that's just me. ohhhhh, you know what? i just realized, she was representing YOUR state, which maybe means she was representing... ok, ok, i won't go there... :p

from swimmmer72 :

YAY, peeps!!! :)

from swimmmer72 :

damn, that sounds an awful lot like my weekend. have fun with it! :)

from swimmmer72 :

yes, that IS more than a little disturbing, whether he was wearing a bra or not. either than, or you have to stop eating hot peppers late at night. :)

from nonce :

You're soooo going to give us your perspective/review of DOTD(2). I've read some truly horrible reviews of it. Which disappoints me...as I like Sarah Polley...and DOTD(original)...

from minderella :

i really really wish bill murray would win. but i'm betting it'll be sean penn. sean penn was great, but.. sorry, i just adored lost in translation and murray's performance was so delightfully surprising. and i would pull for dirty pretty things in the category it's nominated in, but... i don't think enough people saw it. it was fantastic.

from swimmmer72 :

good picks. you could sweep, but you know the oscars. always room for a surprise or two. yeah, at least four. ;)

from n-o-v-a :

can i live in your galley?

from bluefunk :

goonies. yes. most definitely. the darkness. i relate. yes. i recently experienced a very similar day to yours. ...thank you. i think they're back in my head.

from minderella :

thanks for the concurrence. i am waiting for someone to claim they didn't like the way that episode went. i personally think it might have been the best episode ever. if the highly critical NP likes it, i think that's a ringing endorsement. also, i am so hot for anderson cooper. is he really gay or maybe just bi?

from papotheclown :

i completly concur.

from kittyleopard :

Your diary makes me giggle something odd. Hurrah. You rock my socks. Karma for you!!!

from swimmmer72 :

ha ha, good point. don't forget the "britney spears 55 hour marriage special". i don't suppose gays can make any more of a joke about marriage than the rest of us already have. :)

from bluefunk :

tell me about it...the mommy coworkers here, like to recount their harrowing ordeal with their spawns...i mean children. one was in painful labor for 3 days. 3 very long excruciating days. oh the horror...

from darkoverlord :

So I'm given an assignment, see? Because I keep complaining about being bored I'm told to plug Dark Overlord to random people. You have an interesting screen name, thus, here I am. Check us out at DOL, we're super cool AND have awesome adventures.

from swimmmer72 :

well, all of dean's piercings are out of sight since he took the nose thing out. it's a vermont thing that comes from eating too much ben and jerry's... :)

from swimmmer72 :

i'd feel cheated, too! :)

from swimmmer72 :

i agree with AT LEAST 2 points: that die hard is a GREAT x-mas movie, and that the holiday season definitely can suck a big one. yeah, only 10 more days. then maybe a week of aftermath. that explains why i am a new year's DAY person... it's my best chance to put it all behind me. :)

from swimmmer72 :

yeah, itchy and exhausted is bad, but itchy and wired is worse. :)

from swimmmer72 :

i will not read the book, i will not take a look. i will not eat them in a car, i will not eat them with a star, i will not eat them, sam i am, i will not eat those green eggs and ham. :)

from papotheclown :

just so you know, you are beyond correct in your assumption about the cat in the hat. it sucked beyond all. it really, really sucked. bad. it was not a good movie. at all.

from swimmmer72 :

ha, ha, that's funny. the things we do to avoid doing things with our parents... :)

from swimmmer72 :

yep, and as soon as you get an iron, we'll be even. :) almost through 2 of 3 cd's, so far cortez the killer is my favorite, but only because i am a neil young fan and i don't already have 5 versions of this by dave. two step is awesome as usual!! thanks for the notes! :)

from bluefunk :

don't worry dear ms. platypus. i also, voted for gore. i just blame it on florida for screwing up the election process.

from swimmmer72 :

i think you may know from reading my diary that i feel the same way about laundry. i've bought a ton of clothing whose only purpose was to put laundry off for another week or two, and i only have to go downstairs to do it. it's just one of those pain-in-the-ass jobs, and i don't even bother to separate beyond dirty and really dirty. :)

from papotheclown :

i see your point. but thats kind of what i like about tarentino. through his copying you see his huge love for the craft of film, that or, his huge lack of originality. i geuss its really all perspective. and hey, ou won! go us!

from papotheclown :

just a theory here, but could it be possible that you dont like mr. tarentino (aka my personal god) because we have only seen the first half of kill bill? i think that much like pulp fiction, the majority of the meat and story/character devolopment will come in the latter part of the film. and since it was not originally intended to be split, its easy to see how one could be dissapointed.

from mandyreese :

I totally agree. I think it's high time a midget was elected governor of California. There's no way Gary could do any worse than Ah-nold. Or Gray Davis, for that matter...

from papotheclown :

just got back from scarface. i no longer desire to be in the mafia. still have my heart set on becoming a cuban.

from cdghost :

how interesting..I am hooked

from papotheclown :

i am sad for you. american splendor is fantastic. i am sure that the dvd will have lots of cool features. yeah, i know thats no consolation, but i was trying to think of something nice to say and that was the best i could come up with.

from mandyreese :

Maybe the turtle complex came from having to carry everything on her back.

from swimmmer72 :

sounds like you are in for some harassment! here is some more: you are being offered the chance to go to either utah or colorado, instead of oklahoma. what is there to think about? that isn't so much a slap at oklahoma as it is a credit to utah and colorado, which i would move to in a heartbeart if i had an offer from a favorite uncle. :)

from bluefunk :

i read the "perks of being a wallflower" a couple of years ago. i remember liking it a lot, but i couldn't remember the title or the author name. thanks for reminding me ! =)

from swimmmer72 :

good for you!!! i'm glad to hear you made it in one piece! that 2nd day was a helluva drive! :)

from swimmmer72 :

WOW!!! sounds like the start of the trip from hell. if it had been my trip, and it was an option, i would have given serious thought to going back to jersey and starting again another day.

from bluefunk :

that's a close call. i'm glad that you made it !

from papotheclown :

good call. damn the naysayers.

from swimmmer72 :

have a safe trip. catch you when you get there. :)

from swimmmer72 :

ummmm, mmmm, well, actually, the child psychologist that owns the place has an office right next door... and since much of the park consists of 20 ft tall female nudes, i seem to remember that he handles adult clients, too... :)

from sparklejaxie :

I'm going to see Guster in Boston on September 12th :) :)

from mandyreese :

No, you are not evil for wanting Bennifer's new flick to tank. At least I hope not, because that means I'm evil for wanting Spongebob Squarepants to die. (And I agree with you on the Kangeroo Jack thing.)

from swimmmer72 :

i agree with you there. i never really cared about j-lo either way, but ben has always seemed like an empty suit, and both of them together make me want to puke, if only because of all the attention they are getting. yes, tank away! :)

from mandyreese :

We stand united! I'm glad to know that there are non-vegetarians out there who are as repulsed as I am when it comes to barbecued pig appendages.

from mangofarmer :

I wish I could be drunk at noon on a Tuesday in the Wallyworld parking lot. But alas, I would have to be causing a pretty spectacular scene as I have no car for the police to get suspicious of.

from papotheclown :

you are the second person today to recomend chicago. a city which was already on the list. it seems a bit expensive to live there, but since it has come so highly recomended i will continue to check it out

from muffindisco :

Mmmm... pineapple.

from papotheclown :

sucks about your pineapple. i had a similar incident last weekend with some ben & jerrys. yeah, so hey if you do indeed move to dallas before december you should come by my coffee shop. we make the absolute best milkshakes. we even have pineapple flavoring.

from swimmmer72 :

the bitch ate your pineapple? not only is that wrong, it is also funny as all hell, but just because of the way you wrote it. get her bitch-ass to buy you some more, and she damn well better make sure it is chilled!! :)

from anifish :

Haha yeah you should probably let your new provider/ roomie know you plan on moving in! :) I love your username and your layout!

from swimmmer72 :

you have glowing death squirrels in jersey, too?

from swimmmer72 :

OMG!!!!! next you will be telling us there is no santa claus!! :)

from papotheclown :

i just saw "28 days later" today and i agree, that guy has some pretty eyes. some dang pretty eyes.

from papotheclown :

yes, a fellow addict. i almost saw terminator 3 after the hulk. i wonder if there is a support group for us. not that i would go, i can stop anytime.

from swimmmer72 :

yes, oregon is very nice. it has something for everybody, no matter what you want. definitely different from both new jersey AND oklahoma. :)

from habbit :

youre the only person on dland brave enough to talk about 'Real Genius'. i actually own the dvd of that fine film. what a geek classic.

from mandyreese :

See, for some reason that principle doesn't bother me when it comes to soup. I do, however, have a problem with fruit chunks in yogurt. I think that has more to do with the whole 'chunks in a dairy product=curdled milk' mentality, though. To each their own, I suppose.

from swimmmer72 :

fireworks? i don't know about testosterone. i just like the colors and the loud BOOMS!! i watch them whenever i can, and light them whenever they let me. :)

from swimmmer72 :

that's interesting, about scalia and ginsberg. as a former govt and law teacher, that kind of stuff rocks my boat. thanx for the tidbit, i really LOVE that kind of information! :)

from swimmmer72 :

cleaning the bathroom instead of doing tax codes REALLY is turning procrastination into an artform! :)

from bluefunk :

mm yes. horrible squishy toilet death. i've noticed that they bite me on strange inconvenient places like knuckles, and the bony part of feet...not that any place would be convenient.

from swimmmer72 :

cd's make good frisbees, especially a j-lo cd, since there is nothing to it. :)

from anifish :

"Next weekend... Next weekend will be relaxing." Where have I heard that before? Hmmm... Planning a relaxing weekend almost dooms it to be busy when I do that. Good luck on actually following through, and I hope both weekends are everything you hoped they would be! (I realised that this note may very well be longer than your entry...)

from bluefunk :

mmmmmmm...pistachioooooos

from peth :

pistachio, YES!

from swimmmer72 :

"great time suck?" ain't that the truth!! have fun in oklahoma. no, i'm not trying to be funny. ok, yes i am. "smirk" :)

from swimmmer72 :

was the grape popsicle a required part of sprouting a massive lady pleaser?

from swimmmer72 :

i can say good luck since i know you are a good 400 miles away from me, maybe more. if you are thinking about moving to erie for said life of crime, i hope they catch your sorry ass. only kidding, i'm sure you don't have a sorry ass. :)

from swimmmer72 :

a life of crime could work for you. from what i have seen, most crooks are dirt stupid, at least the ones that get caught, and even then (seems to me that you are in a law office-sorry if i am thinking of someone else)you can defend yourself, and get it all tossed on some technicality, like you had momentarily blacked out during a crime of passion while defending yourself. you know, something simple. good luck, i'll look for you on COPS. :)

from papotheclown :

where in oklahoma are you going?

from swimmmer72 :

i remember very clearly when i was in exactly the same position. after at least 3 weeks of intense stress finishing up my degree after working on it for 20 years (no shit!!), i walked out of my last exam, took a deep breath, and thought to myself, "what the fuck do i do now...?" that was 11 years ago, and i'm still working on it.

from papotheclown :

gongratulations on your new freedom.

from invisibledon :

Just randomly ended up here have a great day

from muffindisco :

Yogurt? Gross!

from papotheclown :

i just wanted to leave a note and say, first of all, that i really enjoy your diary. it makes me smile. i am also curious as to two things. one, how did you find me amongst the millions of diary-landers? and two, what part of the country do you live in? thats it for now have a splendid day.-the clown formerly known as papo

from swimmmer72 :

does a beheaded peep grow back, and if so, which end, or maybe both? i think this warrants further research.

from muffindisco :

I think that Mary Kate and Ashley will get into porn one day.

from minderella :

i'm glad to hear someone else who does not have a freakish fan page online also likes anderson. i'm hoping he'll write me an email back in response to my glowing remarks.

from swimmmer72 :

re: fiji. EXCELLENT IDEA!!!!!!!! once you get there, could you write back and let us know if they have many openings.....? if they have all the beach bums they need, i'll have to find another island... :)

from dasauce :

You love hockey? Geez, I almost asked you to marry a boy and his dad sight unseen. Grin. I almost started singing Part Fam tuneage. And then, being from a place these days that is home to the Mighty Ducks after having believed for so damned long that hockey shouldn't even be allowed in a place without outdoor ice in the winter? Weird. And no, other than being happy to see the Wings ousted in a frigging Zip/Sweep? Not routing for them. But I might. I prefer underdogs. Depends upon who is actually in the finals. Hockey. Damn. And here I just thought you were some random dame with a sense of humor. The boy and are are still single, by the way. Grin.

from dasauce :

Goof. Make fun of my plight with crazies... I can't even figure out which technobabble site she was eluding to... Further, I may not be Gob Incarnate? But I might still cause you to grow hair. Even from here.

from bluefunk :

yikes ! giant marsupials ! that reminds me of those old tom and jerry cartoons where jerry befriends a baby elephant and has him pose as a giant mouse.

from swimmmer72 :

it's like the separation of church and state... why can't POLITICS be separated from EVERYTHING? DON'T GET ME WRONG... I love politics, as a former social studies/govt and law teacher, BUT C'MON, confusing it with the dixie chicks? someone is taking themselves too seriously. :)

from dasauce :

Happy Camper Table For Two? Yessir. I have your reservation right here. If you'll follow me? PlatyHappy, and SauceSansStones... Life is grand. And you owe me a spare pair of retinas... The green was a lovely if glaring surprise. Thank you.

from cindie-loo :

woooweee...lovin the green ness...very cool dude.

from mangoprawns :

it's sort of green now

from dasauce :

I like your inventive usage of rutabega and monkey. When is dinner? Where's MY invitation? HUH? Where? I'm beginning to feel a lack of love here. Sniff.

from bluefunk :

you can almost hear it: take that frenchies ! neener neener neeeeeener

from dasauce :

Also empty... POOP! Tricky person. You are sending me on Quests! I understand now. But, I am worthy already. I have lived two years in JOB's shoes. I have proven my worthiness... Pfft to your quests. Grin. DaSauce

from dasauce :

Ditto! Agree on all of the above, and especially Pulp, and Spidey... Even the special effects in Spiderman weren't good. The only GREAT thing about this film was the use of sound placement on the DVD. There were a few really subtle moments, and some real surprise uses of the rear channels and side channels. But Citizen? Not even in the top ten best of all time. And I HATE ET. HATE. Poor film. DatSauceGuy

from dasauce :

For a funnier moment, check the addendum at the bottom of the entry since. Gawd.

from krazypenguin :

platypus! see, it has the same effect.

from dasauce :

Get her. The proceeding was a message from my catty side. We now return you to the kind and gentle sauce.

from z0tl :

i'm weird but that doesn't stop me to read normal people. ok- i read entirely too much in one sitting, so now i'd like to unread some, but that's not working very well. i'll just leave it at that then, i usually turn bad things into worse, otherwise. hi.

from cindie-loo :

oh ya..im gonna set up a notifylist for it today..once i get my booty in gear.

from cindie-loo :

yo yo yo ...you gots no email...you are the untouchable!!!..heehee...drop me a line so i know how to send you fridge info. hee hee..

from dasauce :

And funny, they all look the same! Yellow and rounded with no hairy stuff...

from swimmmer72 :

are we eating shillinger M&M's or skoda M&M's? somehow i think it makes a difference.

from dasauce :

Yeah. That's why it became Christmas In February. I loved running into it again... Did you sneak down and see the comment portion addendum about my sister's comment? Amazingly funny. Thank you. Now go grow some hair, Platy-Pie.

from peth :

I want to visit your nation state. I am booking a passage there on the U.S.S. Widdershins.

from muffindisco :

Dried mango is HEAPS TASTY. When I package it I eat like TEN PIECES. Mmm.

from maticus :

thanks for joining the timmy diaryring. "livin' a lie lie Timmy!"

from dasauce :

Clearly it doesn't snow much there. If they were Vermonters, they'd have plows on the front of their vehicle and make a parking space.

from dasauce :

Is not Crazy Talk. Everybody always expects me to do the cooking. And sadly, I take the deal cause I'd far rather eat my own effort at a Turkey at Thanksgiving than put up with someone else's saw-dust-bubble-gum version. Get some hair on, platypus... You are nekkid. Rick

from swimmmer72 :

my birthday is nov.6th. i LOVE chocolate chip! :)

from dasauce :

And a lot of folks thought it was Ron Ziegler. But as Burnward and Woodstein noted that they'd spill on the death of Deep Throat--one would think they would have taken out an ad or at least made the announcement when he croaked. And I was pretty sure it was Zeigler as they had noted that DT did a mean Ron Zeigler impersonation. Now we have to think it was Al Haig? Sheesh. --DatSauceGuy

from swimmmer72 :

GO ahead. LIVE your dream!! be that monkey! :)

from dasauce :

I finally made your free books bit a fave entry. Still reading and still laughing. Bestest, --DatSauceBoy

from cruel-irony :

I graduated from law school almost 5 years ago and I didn't take the bar because I didn't want to practice. And, people are still trying to convince me to take it!

from jessie02 :

I dont like soup either. too much sodium!

from peth :

have you rocked the sad peacock lately?

from invisibledon :

you don't like mangoes oh so sad - more for me

from jessie02 :

That picture IS scary! :0 Ugh, I don't even want to think about it anymore....nice diary by the way:)

from peth :

i got a clue from lo-ro. she said that peacock is some sort of allusion to mullets....

from swimmmer72 :

no reason? i beg to differ. assuming that "rocking" any sad peacock isn't just what he/she needs would be a misconception. ROCK that peacock!! maybe it won't be sad anymore. :)

from peth :

truer words have never been spoken in my shack.

from peth :

you are the egg in basket MASTER.

from sooner :

Yes, boys are annoying. But they also have beard stubble and smell nice. It's certainly a problem.

from sooner :

Which trainwreck is your favorite? Which one? You can tell me, I won't spill. P.S. I'm stroking my manhood.

from sooner :

you gotta watch those squirrels. Take it from me.

from perceptionss :

Oh, what big feet you have:) Love, Booby

from sooner :

I had a dream about hot cop action last night. It was a good dream.

from passthemic :

i can't stand those itty bitty kind of cotton balls, cos then i have to put two together to use them. they piss me off.

from peth :

yes, the Gleaner sucks ass. A lot.

from peth :

your hair is lustrous and wavilicious! Except right now it is rather damp.

from bevin :

Sooner could fit in your closet.

from peth :

YOU are magically delicious!

from sooner :

Yo!

from ms-m :

I love me some John Cusack! More importantly, I watched a Bill Pullman movie yesterday and thought to myself, "The only movie I've ever found that man to be even remotely attractive was in While You Were Sleeping." What am I getting at? Just that I dig some of your picks, baby!

from bluefunk :

ps - we should put evil client lady and my evil boss in a cage together and see who wins the bitch fight.

from bluefunk :

mmmm yes. this 8x10 glossy shall be the piece d' resistance for my david hasselhoff shrine deep in the catacombs of my booby-trapped basement. ahhhhh.

from peth :

i like to iron. i once had a job doing display work at a department store, and when we'd pull a bunch of menswear displays, sometimes i'd just iron ties for hours.

from clogger :

oh would that a nudeplatypus by any other name smell just as sweet. actually, no. it's the name that compliments the ode to apples.

from swimmmer72 :

just so you know, i have been writing about the same thing, i.e., ways i can get out of doing the laundry. i have already bought one pack of socks, and in all liklihood, will buy more socks and maybe some shorts tomorrow. i have enough shirts to last for months, and i can always go without underwear as long as i avoid erotic images during the course of the day. (getting public erections can be embarrassing, but underwear has a limited restraining effect)(i'm sure that was a necessary explanation)

from addieplum :

dear lord! think of the carnage that would have occured if it had been ME that bitch-lady condescended. i guess i don't have what it takes to be a lawyer either. hah!

from peth :

oh, your odiferous monkey dream scares me. it sounds like the stuff of a deranged european horror flick.

from mandyreese :

You get along badly with ROCKS? Shoot, those don't even MOVE. (I think you've got me beat . . .)

from swimmmer72 :

definitely a kick-ass entry. :)

from peth :

i could hear you from here.

from sooner :

I would call that color "grape." It's lovely

from peth :

snood is wicked.

from sooner :

My first thought, my very first thought when I read that was that your roommate called you a bitch, as in "you can't be talking about nudeplatypus, she's a bitch, she's not nice." Then you went on to explain that you had the same reaction. Do you think it's the Oklahoma in us?

from addieplum :

hot friday nite library action! non-stop, all nude shifting projects! hooray!

from sooner :

Oh, nudie. I don't think you are taking into account the disease factor when you look down your nose at my relationship with creatures that don't belong in my house.

from swimmmer72 :

that is unfortunate. i've been looking for a good source of nude weasels.

from peth :

you should have that tee shirt.

from swimmmer72 :

yeah, i had big doody-heads my first three times, too. :)

from sooner :

You know, the WaWa by my house has an Icee machine.

from peth :

Kill your roommate. I love fireworks. I don't have my old internet access either. I'm sorry I broke your windshield. It was for an accident, really. I know now not to mix sledgehammers with liquor.

from breathe18 :

hey, i love your diary and i can only sleep if all the closet doors IN MY HOUSE r closed so don't feel so weird. don't get me wrong ur weird though...to clarify :)

from peth :

i think tom cruise is creepy, too. i think this works to his advantage in films like magnolia and vanilla sky. rock.

from jaustralis :

plastic hooker shoes...HA!.. her name isn't Michelle ..is it?

from peth :

At least you HAVE a box of popsicles.

from peth :

Um, you need to move to COLLINGWOOD with an 's'.

from theshivers :

ooh, i like your work style...seriously...let 'em think your sweating when you're actually handling it all with style and grace. This helps to make up for a dreadfully low salary - or so I've found....

from unluckyme :

i've never seen the princess diaries yet, but that guy is HOT.

from peth :

oh nudie, you can share my new hostile teenybopper friend. you and me and sooner, we can share her, we can TAKE TURNS.

from apehead :

hahahahahaha! love ur diary is super funny and slinkster cool

from btchelicious :

It is more annoying that I can not type correctly.

from btchelicious :

This is will probably annoying you, but in my mind I call you "nude platter-puss".

from peth :

yes! it was a fine fine flick, it was.

from sooner :

Oh My God! Are you making up that Britney/Buffy bit?

from hermitage :

Dude, it's a good thing you stopped watching that show a few seasons ago. The series finale can only be described as "dreadful" and "corny"

from btchelicious :

It's OK, Nudie, we can't all be evil. If we were all evil we wouldn't really be able to explain what evil is because we would have no frame of reference.

from peth :

Mark my words, Alabama will return.

from peth :

kill the celine player tomorrow.

from jenne1017 :

Happy Random Guestbook Signing Week!! Pass it on!

from sooner :

David Gray is the dreamiest of dreamies!

from btchelicious :

The problem with kittens is that they grow up into cats.

from redapple :

nudie, i don't get risk either. give me the good old game of life any day of the week. the tiny pink and blue plastic people keep me entertained for hours.

from nonce :

I don't think I'd go so far as saying the whole season. All the early stuff with Brenda phantasizing about doing crazy shit was hilarious....but now it's just getting too strange and fucked up. I do like the whole Billy reversal. This must be what it would feel like if I watched soaps and took them too seriously...

from peth :

That reminds me of a story...Italo Calvino? About ants. When I left work today, your magic car was parked next to my magic car. they were chatting.

from batten :

No, not at all honey... Your education is fabulous. That's just one of those obscure random factoid that populate my life. (grin) It isn't common knowledge and most linguists will dispute it vehemently... The five year old sounds like a real firecracker. You must have a lot of fun with her. Just let her continue to think that you're the world's smartest aunt. She's at the right age for that. (grin) Have a great weekend...

from batten :

Hey fun entry today but I hate to bust yer chops on this...actually "ain't" is a conjunction of "I am not." I "amn't" became I "ain't." Mom's an English prof. Don't throw rocks at me. please? (grin)

from nonce :

You are soooo right. Six Feet Under definitely wasn't up to snuff.

from redzingerbee :

you should try green clover & aloe. it's my new favorite, and they won't discontinue that for a while cause it's only like two months old. god, i'm corporate america's bitch! :)

from peth :

who was this scurrilous fiend?

from peth :

you can open up the box and eat them all and then go get another box and keep that one pristine, and put it up on a shelf, next to the ping-pong table.

from sooner :

because it is their nature.

from bevin :

I have also been googled for disturbing relationships between the olsen twins. It makes me feel icky that my diatribe about their dolls is my second most-read diary entry of all.

from sooner :

Oh platy-pussy, I'm so glad you play the same game as me. I have been convinced by outside forces to use a phrase this term. In all of my exams I intend to use the phrase "swears like a drill sergeant." I've already successfully inserted it into future tech. I did it in the client letter. Wish me luck on tomorrows workers compensation exam.

from peth :

I think this semester's word should be 'nether'. As in, "My nethers are on fire, that fellow is so shexy."

from peth :

That monkey man scratched me. I gave him a quick kick.

from peth :

diligent student, my ash.

from addieplum :

dear nudie,
i am totally so excited that you are going to bring the gigantor ants to my party! maybe we can do an "ant dance" where we scatter the carcasses across peth's floor and we stomp on them making rythmic crunching sounds!
oh, and i won't be at the library till 8pm on friday...think you can bear the lonliness? i mean, i know you will really feel sad since jason isn't there and all.
love and bug spray,
addie

from peth :

you can bring the gigantor ant carcasses to Addie's party.

from sooner :

You're fresh.

from peth :

Oh, Platy, if I sent you a forwarded email, would you read it? Would you?

from sooner :

Oh, Platy. Do you ever regret having the exterminator in to slaughter an entire extended family of gigantor ants in some sort of genocidal rage? Do you ever regret that?`

from peth :

I would so love to be wrapped in cotton candy.

from peth :

The other day I was driving home. There was this law student (a tiny chick with enormous black hair, worn in tiny waves, of undeterminate ethnicity and an all-around typical "hottie") stopped at the red light in front of me in her sahara jeep thingie. She noticed a fellow wanting to cut across our lane to make a left, and so she began to back up. usually, one would do this gingerly, say move back a foot, and wait for the person stopped behind you to also move back and thus give you more room for your good deed. No, she just started backing up at a fairly high speed until she very nearly slammed into the hood of my car, meanwhile, i am in shock, and the fellow behind me is honking for her to stop before she causes a chain reaction that would ruin his paint job, too. Fortunately, there was no collision, except when my evil eye met hers in her rear view mirror. I HATE HER.

from passthemic :

ugh, yeah i know! now whenever i see an eclipse drive by, i get that haunting image of that lady 'raving' in the passenger seat. then i cringe.

from passthemic :

the other day a gigantor ant dared to crawl up on my shoe. i wanted to flick its gigantor body off with my other shoe, but i squished it by mistake and it left a gigantor mark on the side. damn gigantor ants.

from peth :

i do believe that the ants appeared because someone else had called the exterminator and he came and drove all the giantor ants out of their house and into yours. move to collingswood!

from unluckyme :

oooh, a simpsons reference! i laughed out loud when i saw it on tv. and again when i saw it in your diaryland. thanks for that.

from peth :

You hafta get ninja stylee on sister.

from peth :

Allen Iverson as duck.

from btchelicious :

That My Little Pony entry r0xx0red my s0xx0rs! I actually LOLed!!!!111

from peth :

OKAY, OKAY, I'll stop complaining. I have nothing to complain about.

from peth :

I long to be a koala slut.

from addieplum :

dude, that is so weird. i mean about the koala man. i don't know if it is the same guy, but a man rode past me on his bike and made what i thought was a small sock monkey wave at me and said "hi" in a creepy high-pitched voice. it could have been a koala though i suppose.

from peth :

arar. are these the new ones? i need to sleep.

from batten :

Hi! I just wound up reading all your archives and snarfing my coffee at the phone sadness thing. You're a hoot! Thanks for reading me. I'm adding you to my faves list. You rock. Later! -J

from peth :

I could not get the KITH quiz to work for me. I have a feeling I would be Heckubus, child of Satan, though. just a guess.

from peth :

Not loser, just SLACKER.

from peth :

You ARE the Star! It is very much true.

from sooner :

I make no warrantees or guarantees about the safety of the pop corn. YOU WON'T TRICK ME WITH YOUR CAGEY LAWYER DOUBLE SPEAK!

from peth :

if i had that painting below, i would hang it in a place where everyone could see it. if I were the dean of the law school, i'd have that painting hang in the bridge in place of a portrait of me.

from peth :

i think the popcorn is anthrax-free because I had the pope bless it and stuff. anyway, i didn't put that popcorn there and I don't know how it got into your mailbox thingiesooner ahem.

from addieplum :

jason's family portrait?

from redzingerbee :

i wonder what would happen if they started having drunken olympics? now that's something i would *definitely* watch.

from peth :

sooner is a bossy boy. and that is why we love him.

from addieplum :

yeah, frat boys are the coolest. and so sexy too. especially when their hips are bigger than mine and they have scary dark circles under their vacant eyes.

from redzingerbee :

gargamel's cat is azrael.... :) thanks for adding me to your favorites!

from peth :

when i was in a frat, um, boy, was i drunk, and then, um, well...i don't really remember.

from minderella :

nudeplatypus, i had no idea that sooner was an authority figure! no idea whatsoever. thank you for this informative entry. i am soliciting opinions: if i were to see a photo of sooner (and company) would that dy-mystify his diary to the point where it would ruin it for me? i think not. but he has chastised me for even asking and threatening to throw off the delicate balance between diaryland and tangible reality. what do you think? i trust your opinion for no reason other than i dig the name nudeplatypus.

from addieplum :

there. i saved you. now he has latched on to me. i hope you are happy, and that taco bell runs out of quesedillas when you most want them.

from addieplum :

Azrael. meow.

from peth :

You STINK! You got me all charged up and ready for some diary goodness, and all I git is a salutation? Really.Just for that,

Hello!

from sooner :

and a "how do you do" to you!

from peth :

Will you buy me this for my birthday? Please? Wesley ROCKS.

from gaytales :

Hey, I just read your "Dear Wesley" entry and I feel like the biggest dumbass in the world lol. I am sorry...I jumped to conclusions will you forgive me?

from btchelicious :

from peth :

Boo!

(are the hiccups still there?)

from peth :

ooh, the colors on your archive page are even delicious-er! This brendan fehr or whatnot looks like that naked chef. He has an excess of tongue. i think i will have a party.

from gaytales :

Okay what in the hell does having my name on your site in that kind of manner mean? Do you want in this Diaryland battle too? Your about to put yourself in it!

from minderella :

what is this shit about conan o'brien being married? that is so depressing! i also loved wembley. what a worrywart. and the doozlers.

from peth :

there is a diaryring for pez lovers. I think you might want to join. not that I am telling you what to do or anything...

from sooner :

he wants me to promise to take down the pictures when he gets the new ones. What do I do?

from peth :

but i like that rubbery office cot smell!

from peth :

i am loving the new design, my little platypus...see you at the library.

from sooner :

Candyland is a cruel, cruel game when she gets her hooks into you. Cruel.

from sooner :

I am already in Oklahoma. Maybe I will run into you at the Quick Trip.

from peth :

bears? monkeys?

from peth :

I'm sorry! Oh, I stink at giving directions. Next time, I will simply get you to my house the old-fashioned way....I will teleport you with my brain rays.

from peth :

though you stood us up, i will bring you a party favor. It's only fair. And your nametag. you never know when you can use a nametag.

from sooner :

Yes, well some of it is a lie. You will have to determine which for yourself. Had you not stood us up last night, I might have told you there. It is a mystery.

from btchelicious :

Everyone should have a devil duckie. Dare I say, they could beat the crap out of sock monkeys.

from sooner :

I adore David Gray. I saw him last summer at Applefarm. I tried to kiss him and they took me away. Some of this is a lie. Do you know which?

from minderella :

i came to your diary via sooner's favorite list. he has good taste, unlike most people who will put anything on their favorite list. i love the word platypus. i also wonder if there's a camera in my elevator at work. and i want to go to bora bora. oh yeah, and i'm heading to law school. i'm putting you on my favorite list because i like the term 'nudeplatypus'. keep the entries coming.

from peth :

delicious, wal-martless-ness awaits you. party on the 7th. this time, you must show up. i will supply dr. pepper.

from sooner :

Sparkling! Love, Joey

from sooner :

They say that Diaryland only works if you update. They say a lot of things, I suppose.

from wonger :

That squirrel story almost made me cry. Sheesh. But in any case, your diary is nice and rockin. You also like Tom Robbins.. whoo hoo! Okay, I need to get off this computer.. Bye bye! love morgan

from peth :

i very nearly trampled a squirrel under my car the other day. i swerved, risking my own health and life, to save that tiny realtive of Jorge.

from sooner :

The grasshoppers are just practicing the controception you mentioned as being fun. What's disturbing about that? Also, Flavor Blast Fritos rock Joe's world. They Rock it! They Rock his world! Rock!

from nudeplatypus :

Ed Burns is very cute and I am very special

from peth :

you are a special flavor morsel, and no ed burns is not cute....but my grandma is solipsistic, so if you want to use that word more often, you can strike up alot of conversations about my grandma.

from nudeplatypus :

I'm a flavor morsel? I feel so special

from peth :

joe told me that your updates are like the flavor morsels in a Doritos flavor twist.

from sooner :

Also, whoever this Joe is, I'd like to thank him. Your diary updates are the creamy center in a Ding Dong.

from sooner :

Buffy is on tonight at 7. I can't wait to see her sing and dance.

from manchichi :

let's have a moment of silence....

from peth :

I like squirrels and I like monkeys and I like broccoli, go figure, but i likd chrandra best of all. it's true.

from manchichi :

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! how can those freaky little dwarves go and ruin something so beautiful. can you tell me what song? but i guess it doesn't really matter what song im sure they'll crap it up real nice.

from nudeplatypus :

completely unprovoked attack on an innocent squirrel...I can see sooner doing that...

from peth :

I always wondered who the squirrel-smashers were on our nations highways and byways....Sooner really does hate the squirrels. I saw him attack one days ago, completely unprovoked. don't feel bad-you did nothing wrong, and were in dire need of delicious caffeine refreshment.

from sooner :

This is why I did not do Hunter. Also squirrels are horrible. They will not miss the patriarch. He used to beat her and molest the children. He would make the whole family sleep in a plie. They were plotting to put arsenic in his morning acorn juice to free themselves from the oppressive tyrany. Now they will be able to collect the insurance and they will not have to go to squirrell jail. You did a good thing. Also I hate squirrells.

from peth :

you are not a slacker loser. I know, because 1) I know you 2)I have known many a slacker loser, and you bear little resemblance. see, it's simple logic. i think you just don't like law school. as for what to do with you, I will leave that decision up to Sooner.

from sooner :

which movie is it? Is it the one about the girl?

from peth :

your notes link got wicked big. it scared me into writing a new note.

from peth :

Yay! notes for you! Your name came up redredred on my monitor. i am reading a book about brains. more later.

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