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messages to rabbitstew:
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stepfordtart : |
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I always hoped that something really bad would happen if a tie got caught in a shredder, but I cant help thinking it would just be a massive anticlimax, just how you described. I did once staple some pervy salesman's tie to my desk as he was leaning over me leering. Just one Ka-clunk and there he was, captured, while I just got up and walked off. Joy. Agency job-find people are cunts. I know, I used to be one. s x
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stepfordtart : |
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Morris dancing! Ha! No, they are a rather lovely pair of linen tailored shorts (mine - for wearing to the office in hot weather) tied at the knee with a big silky bit of ribbon out of the sewing box. s x PS I HAVE replied to the right Tim, havent I? There's two Tims and neither ever say where they're from. Bah.
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| from
stepfordtart : |
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statistically speaking, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape. There. That's me straight off to hell, then. s x
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| from
stepfordtart : |
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He MADE me tell him where you are. I didnt want to but he said he'd tie me up and make me watch re-runs of Sons and Daughters with him playing all the parts and doing all the voices if I didnt tell. On 'the other topic', wouldnt you be more disappointed that your daughter was a nudey model (and a failed one at that!) than that she shagged someone famous? Ive shagged loads of people (some more famous than others!) and my grandad didnt appear too bothered. If he'd opened his Currant Bun and found himself face to face with my whangers he might have had something to say about it tho. They are all a bunch of twats. And so am I for commenting on it, I guess. s x
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| from
smashthegas : |
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Hey fucker, how come ya didn't tell me you'd moved? *growlz* I had to get said information from Stepfie, and you know how rude she is. Hehehe. Welcome back dude \m/ \m/
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stepfordtart : |
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You never fail to make me snort with laughter in an unladylike fashion. I am pretty sure that pissing on your boss's pen will make you feel MUCH better and I can more or less guarantee that a message saying "pregnant" will NOT appear, so, you'll have a two birds/one stone thing going on. Hoorah! And better than two girls/one cup. s x
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stepfordtart : |
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Breadmakers are gooooooood. I trade you recipes in a super-gay way when you get it, if you like. Dont worry, I wont let L give you any instruction in breadmaker-usage. As you know, he is a twat. Re the fainting, you're not pregnant, are you? Might seem like s tupid question but the only time Ive ever fainted I brushed off the question as preposterous and, well, lo and behold, Jooj. That was a while ago now and there have been significant advances in medical sciences since then. I'd pee on one of those funny stick things if I were you, just to be sure. If you dont want to go to the expense, Im sure an empty biro casing would work just as well. They do look PRACTICALLY the same. There. Hope thats helped. s x
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stepfordtart : |
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Yes please. With custard. Can I have the end bit? s x
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| from
stepfordtart : |
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I can confirm that any combination of icecubes and vadge doesnt make me want to be all maternal. Im not a chicken but Im pretty sure thats a cross-species type thing. Its if she starts looking at you with half-closed eyes and maybe suggests you wanna try something a litle more risque that you gotta worry. oh, no, hang on, thats just a me kind of thang. Chickens hardly even proposition people. I think. s x
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stepfordtart : |
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And, no, it wasnt Jim Davidson. This was less subtle (!), more along the lines of "Pakis! They're all just fucking bastards, arent they!" and everyone fell about laughing. Except me and L. If you're gonna be racist, at least have a stab at making it clever. s x
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stepfordtart : |
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The whole of Norfolk is a pile of wank. I used to go to Hunstanton every year for the East Coast Guitar show. In November. Im sure I dont need to tell you how much fun the drive was from where I am (south coast). One year it took 6 and a half hours. Ive had a quick scramble through your back catalogue and am delighted to see that the chickens are still well, you are still procrastinating over the cooking of apples pies and that your housemate is still a knob-head. Glad to know I havent missed anything! s x
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