messages to realjesus:
(click here to add new message):

from annivate :
i salute you.
from saranade :
Hi Jesus. You hardly ever update anymore, but in case you are thinking about another resurrection, you should know that your diary is a bit screwed up. You no longer have an archves page, apparently. If you want more information, read my last entry, or the one dated March 24th, 2005. Word.
from shirley-it :
jesus this is shirley aka peachick!!! i miss you!!!
from labrayne :
hey JC are you alright (lol) it's just that you haven't updated in 83 days.
from annivate :
punch and pie.
from devil-bitch :
Jesus save me from my sex crazed fantasies.
from dubyah :
should stuck with the bushman, eh beardo?
from amalthea23 :
and it's your fault too! you and your stupid book! and your comments don't work either!!!
from vanoonoo :
51 days? you spent less time in the freaking wilderness. update dammit.
from mmmme :
where you been b'jesus?
from awittykitty :
maybe Outkast is Dick Cheney's Secret Service code name.
from mmmme :
hey bjesus, you crack me up - and you have a heart of gold. rock on
from peachick :
hey realjesus...man i laugh everytime i see your name, just want to say hi, i was trying to leave a note to pooper but he doesn't have his notes turned on, but oh well.
from bebeskid :
i don't think he's the real jesus.....i got suspicious when he asked me to let him wear my black pumps and red lipstick....then when he asked me to spank him til he called me mommy....nope.....i don't think he's the real jesus at all!
from bob-dole :
We need to get married... yes I'm serious.... think of our off springs... Religious Polical leaders! Yes! Yes! I love you long and hard, 4ever. Mmhmm. I scream your name at night... when I'm 'alone'.... ;-) Hope you're watching---
from annivate :
blasphemy is delicious. -pun master general.
from powerofduck :
I just found your diary. It is so great. You are just SO hilarious.
from false-apathy :
Hu... So, J-man, when'd you decide to come back around here?
from false-apathy :
o___O You must've fell from heaven pretty hard-- on your head, I might add.
from saranade :
Your oysters smell like Cadbury eggs.
from dubyah :
woah hey jesus i updated just for you so i could spread your words of wisdom about fags! <3 georgie p.s. shave.
from vanoonoo :
hey jesus - tell alex happy birthday with love from the brit chicks xxx
from cthulhu-dawn :
hi jesus!!!
from easyaspie :
Yeah but if you're so all-powerful, being there for me is no big deal! *cries* I need you, Jesus!!!!!
from easyaspie :
Jesus buddy, where are you? You said you'd always be here!!!!! Damn ectoplasmic shit...
from cindie-loo :
"pray the shit out of those prayers"...a beautiful remark my buddy....hahah...
from reganesque :
oh by the by Lord.. Check out mah new layout.. I know it'll rock your socks.
from reganesque :
Hey Jesus, thanks for the note. Dude, that party we had last night with Elvis was wild! We have to do it again sometime. I'll bring the water if you'll make the wine...
from testpatterns :
hey jesus...do you like Devo? --adrianne
from klcroft :
"Breaker, breaker...I've got a truck load of industrial size lubricants here and I need to know where you want me to stick them?"
from pantasy :
Dear Jesus...I thought you should know what I'm up to http://pantasy.diaryland.com/030714_74.html
from jesusfreak76 :
lmao - this is funny.
from catalpa :
Hey you, I know I never talk to you anymore, but I wanted to say hi to you. so HIIIIIII! Hope you're a'ight dawg. (I try to be a gangsta, but my attempts at correct spelling reveal me for the poser I am.) Laura
from barefootsage :
Do you think ol'J.D.is ever going to publish anything else?
from pantasy :
I'm going to T-E-L-L others. This is a special song indeed.
from grrldreds :
Hey, I am doing a study on ravers for my university and if you would be interested in filling out a survey it would really help me out. Everything is confidential. If you have any questions or would like to take the survey you can email me at grrldreds@yahoo.com.
from pantasy :
Lord, are you there? It's me, Magdalene.
from pantasy :
Next time your stalker comes around and then runs away, shoot him in the ass with a b.b. gun. Or, if he's looking at you with his beady little eyes, stab him in the eye with your own homemade rendition of the fork jesus. Jesus...he's not just for lovin' anymore. He's to be used as a weapon. With deadly force.
from z0tl :
w0rd! hayzooz dood, was imin' with ya the other day and didn't realize you were the realjesus, but now i know and i'm here to say keep it real, man, keep it real. see ya in the hoodz :z
from rawkpunker :
Jesus! Its so PUNK ROCK Jesus! I'm not really religious, but I am soo PUNK ROCK! If you can get along with that gal Britney Spears, you can soo get along with this sk8er! Please write back, Jesus, I love your book!! Its soo Punk rawk! *AVRIL LAVIGNE*
from suzysecret :
Oh yeah heh! forgot to tell you that I added you to my fave's list you crazy shit;) *~SeCrEt~*
from suzysecret :
Jesus, As much as I feel guilty laughing at you, I must say your one CRAZY FUCKER! Thank you for letting me keep my sainity when my head was about to go EXPLODIE!;P Also thank you that the tazors missed when they were being thrown at me when I tryed to steal that gumball machine from the Osama look alike, at 7-Eleven! AND for my new BITCHN' ELECTRIC FENDER GUITAR!!! Rock on Jesus! And visit your PYSCHOTIC LITTLE FUCK of a creation once in a while won't you?:D LUV' *~SeCrEt~*
from danawear :
i'm a friend of dana's! i need your help now! i'm addicted to porn! please help me stop! i saw a billboard and it said you would help me! tell me what i should do, i need your advice before its too late! answer me soon, thankyou steven
from finalscore :
happy random guestbook [ or note signing ] signing week! pass it on!
from lattefairy26 :
I'm sorry, the person that wrote those messages wasn't the real lattefairy26. My name is Reen and someone got my password and left the same kind of messages on like 5 or more peoples notes. I changed my password so I hope it won't happen again.
from lattefairy26 :
NO WAY YOUR JESUS! YOUR KIM U SICK BUNNY! I FOUND U I DID I DID I DID!
from lattefairy26 :
HA HA IVE GOT U NOW! IM GONNA TIE U UP JERK
from lattefairy26 :
DEAR KIM, AS U CAN SEE I FINNALLY FOUND U, U SICK BITCH. I'M TIRED OF U IGNORING AND THROWING GUMMI BEARS AT ME IN CLASS. I ADMIT IT WAS FUNNY AT FIRST BUT IF YOU DO IT AGAIN I'M GOING TO TIE U UP WITH GUMMI WORMS SOMEHOW I SWEAR TO GOD. HAHA LOOK AT THAT GUY ON TV. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. ANYWAY I AM SO ANGRY I WENT DOWN INTO THE BASEMENT AND STARTED KICKING SHIT AROUND AND NOW THE HOT WATER DOESN'T WORK ANY MORE! I NEED TO TALK TO U BAD. SOMETIMES I SCREAM AND SCREAM AND PEOPLE ARE LIKE, JEFF, SHUT THE HELL UP. AHHHHH THAT'S NOT MY NAME ANY MORE!! COOKIE DOUGH IS REALLY GOOD. ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, PILLSBURY 4 EVER. WRITE BACK PLZ.
from boofkadinky :
dear mr jesus.... i had just finished composing my letter to the pope...when i stumbled upon your diary...my your quite the writer aren't you mr jesus....it is by my royal decree that i find you most amusing.. give my best to daddy...and no your ass doesnt look fat on that cross...kind regards.... boofka... queen of australia
from pranker :
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you were listed as a pranker favorite on my public diary! (at the bottom where it says pranker favorites) Your a crack up!
from sftballgurl7 :
YOU ARE NOT THE REAL JESUS!!! and if you were, YOU WOULD NOT BE CUTTING DOWN GOD!!!!!!!!! IF HE WAS TO DO SO, HE WOULD BE CUTTING DOWN HIMSELF! AND EVERYTHING HE HAS TAUGHT SUCH AS "you are to love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind" HE WOULD BE BLATHPHEMING!!! You are WAY too full of yourself, UNLIKE THE REAL JESUS, WHO IS HUMBLE!!! now that i have made my point i want you to kno that i will be praying for you! "REPENT, FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND!"
from ravenheart :
I'm not sure if I'd like the real Jesus, but you...maybe...
from mizundaztood :
hehe You cracked me up talking about the Gamecube. The whole "Maarrriooo?" thing, hilarious. I look forward to reading more. Love the homepage!
from srch-n-dstry :
Do as the prompt tells you to do and remember: Search And Destroy. http://members.diaryland.com/edit/addpub.phtml?user=srch-n-dstry
from de-vil-angel :
what the fuck is this
from chicklittle :
God will judge you for this. -Osama
from shutupmom :
OH THERE YOU ARE.
from heavenawaits :
you are my hero. you make me laugh. twice.
from mel839 :
oink
from hermione11 :
I like *Nsync and Star Wars too.(I agree about Ewan too.)
from orangina21 :
please, please please, put up the adventurers ring code. if you need help with it, let me know. or else, I'll have to say you make a poor jesus.
from orangina21 :
please, please please, put up the adventurers ring code. if you need help with it, let me know. or else, I'll have to say you make a poor jesus.
from birdy :
I'm a Christian and feel guilty about laughing at this. But it's funny as hell!!!

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