messages to samanthaphi:
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from his-holiness :
My great-grandfather was a welder. He helped build the Titanic. He certainly didn't think that it was unsinkable.
from his-holiness :
I'm crying right now. That was beautiful, like a black & white photo of a sunset over La Seine. You always know how to get to me.
from monkey-king :
I wish you would write. Actually, there's a lot of things I wish you would do, but writing is near the top of the list.
from luvabeans :
have you been watching a lot of Six Feet Under? because i've been bingeing on it, enough to have seen all 5 seasons in the past 2 months, and it makes you think about death a lot. also, hi! hi! this note is long overdue.
from his-holiness :
Have you got a brain-tumor you failed to mention to me?
from monkey-king :
Well, it's a good thing you wrote something, 'cause I was about to kill you if you didn't. As for stuff and the people going through said stuff, that's why I demanded that I be buried with all of it. No fights amongst friends and family for my MST collection, no embarrassing things to fret over people finding (like my MST collection). Just put it all in the hole with me, and shovel in the dirt.
from monkey-king :
Hey! Just wanted you know know that I miss you. Not giving you a guilt trip or anything.
from monkey-king :
I have the collection for volume one and two, both containing four discs. And you already have a crush. Homewrecker.
from drahmaqueen :
Holy shit that guy should be shot. What an ASS. xxoo
from monkey-king :
(checks watch, drums fingers, taps foot.)
from drahmaqueen :
Hey lady. ran across you on..Uncle Bob? Cant remember now. I like your writing. I bet if you and I lived in the same town we could get into HEAPS of trouble. I am a single mom too. Dating is wearing me OUT!!! Anyway. Hope you are having a good week. Jen
from monkey-king :
(knock knock knock) Hello? Just checking in, as all the good, smart and funny writers seem to have taken a vacation. You ok?
from luvabeans :
i'm not at all surprised that you're a fellow scorpio. i don't really put much stock in astrology, but i've never met a scorpio i didn't like.
from monkey-king :
Mickeys? Um... no. But thanks for the suggestion. And your perfect ass.
from monkey-king :
http://www.hottopic.com/default.asp?LS=0& Your kids will want to go there soon enough.
from his-holiness :
I'm just going to stick with Bushmills... No point messing with a good thing.
from luvabeans :
thanks! you rock, too. and i can't believe i haven't yet apologized for putting you in that awkward situation with your ex-sis in law. it occurred to me after first emailing you about it how weird it might have been, and i'm sorry. oh, and actually, that entry did get a number of comments when i posted it. i've recently changed my comments server, and have yet to repost all of the comments on past entries. they still exist, they're just hidden. yes, "surreal" is a good adjective to describe my pablo. i love him dearly.
from his-holiness :
I do not say any such thing to all them other girls
from his-holiness :
I giggle every time I think about it.
from his-holiness :
Then clarify I shall... I am looking at the possibility of receiving monetary recompense for writing smut online... As well as one other potential gig of the "Don't tell granny about this one" variety, which I don't think I'm supposed to mention, just yet.
from his-holiness :
Now, obviously I have no first-hand experience with this wondrous device. However, it is my understanding that the this is one of the few Truly Great inventions of the modern age. Those I know who have purchased, and/or used them are converts to its glory.
from his-holiness :
Good to know when you've got such vital connections with your friends.
from his-holiness :
I won't do anal!
from his-holiness :
Eh, y'know... fuckin' Canadians... they're all the same. I have to rush off. I'm supposed to be leaving for Monterey in a few minutes, and I'm not packed. Hope you're well, pretty lady.
from his-holiness :
I dunno... I'm not really a fan of those boys. That said, I've caught bits of their live act, and they do have it together on stage, so I know they aren't completely without charm.
from his-holiness :
As a matter of fact, I found your diary (after its first entry) by searching for other folks into Hesse, then, as I recall, found a Camus reference. That was when I knew it was love... &, thank you.
from monkey-king :
Yeah, I'm at the very last of the reviews that need to be reposted so they're in chronological order, so there's gonna be some repeats. I'm trying to do it quickly, but it's not easy. It should be finished in a couple of days, hopefully, and then it's nothing but new stuff. Unless I get hit by a truck.
from monkey-king :
This is your Tom Waits movie soundtrack sighting of the week. The Documentary “Enron – The Smartest Guys in the Room” starts the opening credits with “What’s He Building?” The mid-point has Straight to the Top (Vegas), and end credits roll over (of course) to “God’s Away on Business). This has been your Tom Waits movie soundtrack sighting of the week. Had this been a real Tom Waits sighting you would be instructed to LOSE YOUR FUCKING MIND! Thank you.
from monkey-king :
arrgh.fuck.kill.at.lycos.com. Now take out all the periods. Yes, I'm serious. Yes, it's the greatest address ever.
from invisibledon :
Yay you are the first person to call me out on the invisible quiz - and I'm a huge fan of movies - I really don't watch tv but I watch the hell out of some movies.
from invisibledon :
hey
from his-holiness :
Rono Tse was the sounds/music guy for the Beatnigs & The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy. He & Franti fell out, and the last accound I read, over a decade ago, was that the just shy of brawled after running into one another at a club.
from jenistar2 :
Hey--followed your link in the gumphood guestbook and wanted to say hi. Enjoyed your stalker story, and love the fact that Morphine is on your favorite music list--I had to pull over when I heard the news that Mark Sandman was dead. Looking forward to reading some more :)
from monkey-king :
So how then did it come to pass that you watched Flight of the Phoenix? I'm not really up on classic movies, unless they had a journalistic theme like Citizen Kane or His Girl Friday.
from monkey-king :
Yeah, I was polling kids when they came into the store, and they would look all sad and disappointed, and softly say, “Count Olaf isn’t supposed to be funny, he’s supposed to be evil.” Then I’d ask if the thought Jim Carrey was funny, and they’d say no. That’s what really infuriated me about the film – they didn’t give kids credit for being able to handle things. That, and Jim Carrey. If you stumble across the audiobook read by Tim Curry, you should snatch it up. You and your kids would love it.
from monkey-king :
Thanks! Did you look at the other Hemmingway songs though? 'Cause that latest one, I feel, was the lamest one.
from monkey-king :
The sexy comment was in regard to your chomsky/talking head analysis. And ok, I finally saw Hitchiker's - It didn't suck. Not too much anyway. Zaphod was great, Arthur was not bad, voice of Marvin was good (though he *looks* wrong). Love story - ick. Seems like those who don't know the source material would be lost. Oh, and the entries in the guide were great too. You stay for the credits? There was one more.
from monkey-king :
Back in what day? Friday?
from monkey-king :
Ooh, you're so dead.
from monkey-king :
No, no, I'm gonna see the movie as well. I'm too much of a Adams fan NOT to. But it was the fact that he had obviously been WAITING to tell that joke that was so pathetic. It was a mercy killing, really. And I mean, come on - I'm on drugs!
from monkey-king :
Oh, and don't worry about the psychic thing. Onw told me the name Fred was very important to me. I haven't met anybody named Fred since.
from his-holiness :
You're absolutley right. Thank you. Been thinking of you alot.
from monkey-king :
Hey, thanks for the add! Sucka! I'll stop by again to say that.
from gumphood :
best quote ever
from his-holiness :
I started working as a summer camp prep cook at 16, and since have worked with kids from 11 mos. to 15 years at summer camp, after school day-care, and a two-year stint day-care teacher (with the little poop machines from 11 to 36 months... ugh... I just said "36 month"... I have to go drink some Dra-no now.)
from his-holiness :
I been out at the airport, selling flowers to tourists. Where you been? Not enough Samantha these days.
from gumphood :
Dude. I can't spell. Fact. Its not in my brain. But its okay, cause Bill Gates got rid of spelling years ago.
from gumphood :
I am. Thanks. I didn't fit in at grad school either.
from gumphood :
are you an economist?
from lolamae :
I love it! Arty-doo-doo!!! Too funny. Glad you had a good time with your kids. Maybe one day I will get some of my own.
from lolamae :
Sounds like you have interesting conversations on a daily basis. This was a good one. Thanks for the giggle.
from gumphood :
hi. thanks for the add
from lolamae :
That is hilarious!!!!
from lolamae :
Sounds like you are doing a great job, and I am sure your mother would be proud.
from his-holiness :
New York. They come from New York.
from his-holiness :
Thank you for that. You're absolutely right. I sometimes forget in all of my attempts to explore the folly of my own, & play devil's advocate, that every struggle of conscience & clash of personality we have on the left, must be mirrored on the right. Hope you're havin' a good'n -K
from his-holiness :
No, you are most certainly not stupid. In fact, you were one of the Southerners I had specifically in mind when I started that stumbling preamble. Hope you're well.
from his-holiness :
Exactly what came to mind when I saw it.
from his-holiness :
Thank you. And good call on the glasses. Just need to find really tiny glasses.
from his-holiness :
Damnit all... One day I will have SuperGold, and I will no longer rely on Haloscan comments. And yes, I suppose the random sites popping up on my stats for the past year (mostlt French) could be part of some Satanic Flea-Circus conspiracy. I just don't know. Hope you're well-K
from his-holiness :
And I shall share some music. First though, Morphine. I got into Morphine through a woman I was dating 10 or 11 years ago. She'd discovered them because one of her snowboarding buddies, this cat named Dana, played sax in a band called Morphine. So she checked them out, and turned me on to them. Good shit. Now then, have you heard Captain Beefheart's Spotlight Kid album? It's wonderful. Blabber 'N' Smoke is one of the saddest songs ever. His wife wrote it about him. Nellie McKay? Brand new. 19 year old pianist/singer/songwriter. Really sharp, really funny. Works in a somewhat more jazz/torchsong based idiom, while semi-rapping parts, and being clever, funny, and crass. And did I mention that she's a little red-headed white girl from Harlem? The (you knew it was coming) Tragically Hip's Fully Completely album. I Love Robert Johnson. The man was so far beyond the pale, but if you haven't already, pick up some Son House. The Martin Scorsese Presents series is really fucking good. Chuck E. Weiss, Old Souls & Wolf Tickets. Tom Waits' main man's second album scorches. WC & The Maad Circle, Ain't A Damn Thang Changed. Ice Cube's boy WC (Westside Connection) and his old crew (including a then unknown Coolio). Gangsta rap about how prison sucks and you need to handle your shit, written by a man who, unlike the majority of gangta rappers at the time, had actually been to prison. And (don't laugh) The Crash Test Dummies... I Said Don't Laugh!!!! Their album, I Don't Care If You Don't Mind is really fucking good. Brad stopped trying to write clever pop, and created something that resonates. He's very clearly always struggled with a darkness, and he's stopped trying to diguise it here. Hope you're well-K
from his-holiness :
The Big Horrible Secret is that I was so excited that Aaron Hill finally kissed Luann. I know it only makes sense if you read the comics section in a paper that carries Luann, but this shit's been going on for years, and today's strip was them saying goodbye, and Aaron Hill moving away. I hadn't realized how caught up I am in that fucking comic strip... I suck.
from bigpimpinmba :
I know, I know. I'm a complete loser for being sucked into such garbage as the Bachelor. I knew the Talking Heads reference from Psycho killer (they were my first "favorite band"), and I knew it was French, but was too lazy to look up the reference. Thank you for doing so for me! Don't think too poorly of me for my awful taste in mindless entertainment. Thanks for dropping a comment.
from nickelbutt :
Looking carefully, it's the girl's expression that changes between "complicated" and "nice"...my ex-boyfriend (add an s to that actually) would say she is more right than you know.
from nickelbutt :
Excellent! Again, you have me giggling and now looking at spiders in a whole new way. I'm so impressed with my friend. You're an inspiration (I mean it, and don't make fun of gushy/touchy-feely compliments, we all just want to be loved).
from his-holiness :
As soon as I learn more I'll tell you. His official site hasn't been updated in years. All I know for sure is that the London show has sold out, and that he's playing Vancouver on October 15th. I have the advantage of living in his neck of the woods, so he will almost certainly play here. But yes, as soon as I have anything of use, you will be recieving a big screaming notification.
from his-holiness :
You know that Tom Waits is touring after his new album comes out next month, yes?
from twinkledaisy :
Did someone say triathlon at hilton head island? You can out run me, but you can't out swim me!
from sincerelyfos :
I actually work at a Borders & just wanted to let you know not take the employee's attitude personally. We spend the majority of the day waiting on people who get mad because we don't know about the "green book about this big that I saw online the other day", treat us like idiots or just see us as non-people who's sole purpose in life is to serve them. Then again, maybe that particular employee was just a jerk. Know that I'm not defending retail, just us suckers stuck working it.
from divaredneck :
Found you today, you're funny and I'm jealous you're doing a triathlon. I can't even run without breaking some kind of bone.
from bigpimpinmba :
I would love to see CSPAN3000. That would kick ass. You're a funny lass. (And I apparently rhyme without even trying) I like the math/engineer-ey type references in your posts. Very cool.
from his-holiness :
It is, indeed, a line from an Erica Jong poem. Nice. And as for the other 2? I'm really not certain about 6... I would thinhk that pushing would be, because of greater control... I duno... & 7? I can't remember the word for it. "Encoding"? Ugh... Stoopid vocabulary failure... Basically it's a pheromonal reaction designed to ensure tht the protective instinct is engaged... Hope all is well-K
from his-holiness :
Good morning. An attempt to clear some of these up...1) I could be (very) mistaken, but I believe it's an exponential increase in PSI of pressure, based in gallons, or litres or some shit. 2)The boon of spoilage... Beer, wine, bread... 3)Because God hates you 4) Because Satan loves him 5)An ass hole who need a good kneecapping 8)Disney/MGM/Time/Warner/Coke/Sony/Turner/ McDonald’s (heretofore referred to as "God") is immune. According to Lennon's Law of Drug Addled Poetics, "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." Therefore, as far as God is concerned, Newton can sit on a Thermodynamic dildo.
from his-holiness :
Yup... Got chronic nosebleeds myself as a little'n. Ruined my share of pillowcases. No fun. And that last quote there from the boy... Damn... Yeah...
from eustilly :
You know what? I haven't read "How to Be Good" yet. I'll have to check it out since you liked it so much. Much love!
from mousemilk :
Do the C-Span 3000 thing yourself. Just video the TV and do your running commentary over it. Then send the tape with a letter written in green ink and a tupperware box full of dog do to all the networks. You'll be on air within the week, kiddo.
from chaostraffic :
I have to say I was mildly impressed by that last post. And from a girl no doubt... ;)
from his-holiness :
John's family name is Giardina. You can check this out for more details: http://his-holiness.diaryland.com/031017_35.html For the life of me I can't rememder his parents' names. His dad's is something so stereotypically Italian though.
from his-holiness :
My boy John, the departed Bear God's parents have a chunk of mountain top acreage in (I believe western) NC as well-K
from porktornado :
Wow. His Holiness knows a lot of big words. And uses all of them. Anyway, the key to being Dusty when you grow up is not to grow up. Kind of "Tao" in its ambiguity, isn't it?
from his-holiness :
Well done. This is something I've come across a million times. But it isn't just true of women. While, granted, there do seem to be a large quantity of beautiful women who have been touched by some sort of madness, seemingly rooted in the accepted perception of them as "eye candy," "arm candy," "trophies," "conquests," and other such commodities, causing deep-rooted damage to the psyche, resulting in aberrent behaviour. There is a similar phenomenon amongst the men-types. A perverse reaction to a confused ego. A psychological infirmity variously labelled, "Megalomania," "solipsism," & "Jeeziz, what an asshole." These conditions are typified by grotesque shows of ego & machismo (generally devoid of any base in self-reflexive cognitive analysis, and often fuled by beer and/or steroids), as well as an inability discern any causative relation between American Gladiators, the WWE, or Cops, & the historical pattern of Imperial hegemony and collapse. But, were we to put this into the Darwinian perspective, and accept that we are nothing more than animals, ultimately the "Thinking Person" is an evolutionary fluke. We're mutants. We're moles. They're badgers. They're barracuda. We shouldn't exist. But then, isn't that what evolution is about? Adapting to paradigm shifts? Homo Sapiens ousted Homo Neandertalensis, so perhaps we're on the brink of something.

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