messages to scanzilla:
(click here to add new message):

from funnylilgirl :
where the hell did you run off to? all your stuff is gone, and I miss seeing the pictures where you allude to wanting to make love to unicorns :( BRING BACK THE COMICS! BRING BACK THE COMICS! BRING BACK THE COMICS! BRING BACK THE COMICS! BRING BACK THE COMICS! BRING BACK THE COMICS! BRING BACK THE COMICS! BRING BACK THE COMICS!
from mattferrara :
taking a stroll down memory lane, you and I both have blank white pages where our blogs used to be. Gone are the days of subliminally inspiring our readers to worship satan.
from peteypuke :
come back to the five and dime, jimmy dean, jimmy dean
from meena3 :
hey i like your micheal jackson pictures, some of them are kind of funny, you can send me a note back too if you want to.
from smokeybone :
I nosed my Yohoo when I read your diary. I am adding you to my favorites.
from gumphood :
That was classic. He should play for motley crue
from jabbatehslut :
Mr.Zilla, do you like Kid Dakota? They're on the same label as Low (Chairkickers). Just wondering......
from dooki :
First of all, that retarded fat kid was drumming perfectly along with the Pavement album I'm listening too. However creepy, I seem to think Pavement finding that to be fitting. Second of all, I want your babies. And F, you are my hero for naming all the Dungeons and Dragons names. I have a bootleg of the first six episodes on tape. I bought them at this comic book store that I used to work for. Thanks for takin' my survey. Love, Carlos the Dwarf.
from juddhole :
Unicorns make me horny. Horny, like the WIND!
from stupidshit :
I know we should hang sometime
from stupidshit :
I heard good things about Doom 3 more of a story to it. If I had a computer of my own I would consider buying it.
from gumphood :
dude...that kid makes me glad I am dead.
from cindie-loo :
i am very scared now.
from dooki :
I think we all know the true console winner, and that's Coleco's game of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Nothing tops those graphics or the cool slidy controllers. Perhaps the Smurfs game is comin' in at a close second, but let's not go suckin' each other's dicks just yet. By the way, when do I get to join your robot army? I took your survey like, 2.5 jillion years ago. I even learned Binary as a Second Language just for you and NOTHING! NOTHING! Golly, what gives?
from jabbatehslut :
You're hilarious. And I'm so committed to the destruction of the human race that I joined the evil robots twice!
from gumphood :
Me and this unicorn saw each other in a field, and we ran toward each other and then the beast kissed me. I quivered like a young lassie, and he then trampled me with his hoofs.
from not-it :
when shall i find the long lost robot love i deserve?
from justcircles :
you need coolin (baby I ain't foolin)... I'm gonna send you back for some schoolin. Way down inside you know that you need it.
from doombilly :
fuckin' sleestac rock. O and happy birthday chickenfucker!
from gumphood :
no pic yet...
from stupidshit :
wanna hang out sometime?
from stupidshit :
No problem about the late reply.
from shortst101 :
Happy "Late" Birthday to you!
from sugar223111 :
Happy Birthday!I kinda know how you feel. This year was my sixteenth birthday and my parents didnt even bother to get me anything.But moving on once again you have brightened my day with an awesomely funny entry. Keep up the good work.
from justcircles :
hey! I remembered your birthday a couple weeks ago... but then forgot it when it really counted, I guess... sorry; but HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCAN!! Trust me, though, I totally celebrated your birthday; I just forgot to let you know!
from boxx9000 :
Happy, Happy, Happy (belated) Birthday to YOU! #29? Woot! woot! You know what next year is then? (shhhhh 30) WHERE have you been? I was so excited to see you had updated. With love~ BoXx (a middle aged lady)
from stupidshit :
do you actually live in boston or a suburb there of? for example cambridge?
from shamsi9 :
dan. that rules. you so lucky. bitch (you) betta recognize.
from kerbang :
valid. keep up the good work.
from justcircles :
Have you listened to the band Elbow? I think you would like them, since you're into pussy ballads and love and shit. JK! I think you're wonderful and give Crystal my love. OMG LOL :)
from solarlab :
heroic.
from shortst101 :
Hiya...it's so good to see you happy !!
from peteypuke :
dude, getting the "dutch oven" has always been my #1 secret triple XXX fantasy about you. i'm crushed
from sooner :
Oh, Scan. We never doubted the length of your love pole. Never.
from boxx9000 :
Happy Easter. Did the Easter Bunny come to your house last night?
from penmaster :
William Shatner was fired from Priceline after his secret soy sauce affair with Connie Chung's second adopted cousin from Russia.
from boxx9000 :
Kitty and I live in California, but not LA. That place scares me, too. We live in Sebastopol. That's about 90 minutes north of San Francisco in Sonoma county. WINE country. WEST county. About 30 minutes from the beach.
from justcircles :
dear dan, I haven't masturbated since June on occount of you... could you please undo the curse? there just aren't worthy men to date here in grad school and I'm going cross-eyed...
from boxx9000 :
0000000000000000000000000000000 0000000777770000000777770000000 0000077777777700077777777700000 0000777777777770777777777770000 0000777777777777777777777770000 0000777777777777777777777770000 0000077777777777777777777700000 0000007777777777777777777000000 0000000077777777777777700000000 0000000000777777777770000000000 0000000000000777770000000000000 0000000000000007000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000 I stole this from Kitty-Kaboom..... Anyways, I wanted to be the first to say Happy Valentine's Day.
from ihatejodie :
i learned the word nOob on RoCkEt PoWeR
from mattferrara :
You said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
from mattferrara :
You said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
from mattferrara :
What's this day of rest shit? That's bush-league stuff... laughable.
from solarlab :
um...dan...is that you? there's like this sensitive guy that's like writing your entries. it's creeping me out.
from gumphood :
Oh i really liked that one Dan. Tre Fun-Nay
from freyalinx :
your layout kicks, as does your writing, go you! keep up the work mister
from gumphood :
Hey Dan...A story for you. My suitemate (thankfully not my roommate) got up to go to the bathroom after a night of some serious drugs and debauchery. Well, he didn't make it, thought he thought he did as opened the door to his own closet and hosed down everything he could. It was pissa.
from justcircles :
Dear Scan, I miss you terribly, and I love you dearly, and your woman, who also never updates. Please come back to me. You made Diaryland so worth it. and you know this, fool.
from gumphood :
merry christmas fearless leader
from a-nge-l :
only red one entry so far but love ur style oh fuck now that sounds like a pick up line. oh i give up its jus another random pointless note that wont get read anyways...
from endserenadng :
scanzilla. coming back here (yes time after time) is like coming home from college.like i've always got a place to call home. sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, you know? keep it moving,brother.
from shamsi9 :
no time, high pressure situation will read later maylay kalikimaka and i'm sorry about the others, the them my thesis is in the mail
from playgurl1006 :
Hi...I just did a quiz that you took. I saw your comment. About dropping soap in the prision shower. Very funny. Just letting you know. ~*Ashlee*~
from newwave-red :
Awesome...yeah Christmas wasn't so great, and I worked all day today, too. Woo hoo for getting older...NOT!!
from livefan91200 :
Just wanted to say Merry Christmas and keep up the good work Sir *salutes with wrong hand since I don't know how to salute the leader of an evil robot army* L'amour toujours ~LP
from gumphood :
Hairy Christian
from voodoochick :
Some people you are stuck with.
from shamsi9 :
nice.
from rockyraven :
Welcome back genital poker!!! Yea!!!
from solarlab :
first of all, genital poking is a REWARD. and second of all YYYEEEEEEEEEHHAAAAAAAAAWWWWW!
from gumphood :
Ahh the unlinking. It's like a wild force that plauges our fair lands. Let the poking begin.
from boxx9000 :
Have you seen Kitty-Kaboom's crabs? STD and CL?
from not-it :
how are you? when may i escape CA to come visit you?
from dooki :
I love your damn diary. I took your survey a while ago to join your robot army, with no response, which can only mean one thing, My robot capabilities far surpass yours! HA HA bleep HA! Keep 'em comin' Gleep Glop!
from sugar223111 :
oh my lord. SO funny I almost peed my pants dude yah thanks alot I needed that...hahahha
from inthesun101 :
You're all sorts of beautiful
from justcircles :
Remember how you drove me past MIT and I shit brick tickets all over the back seat of your car? Well, I'm not coming back to Boston. Not even to shampoo your shitty car (and I don't mean "shampoo", either). First of all: you guys talk funny and your pizza tastes like ass. Secondly: I'm not even sure if I can hack a PhD from IU, who knew? It's late tonight, and I've been listening to two of every song of this album and didn't even notice until four songs in (Iron and Wine, Pedro the Lion, Grandaddy, and The Shins are keeping me awake). One more thing and I'll go: I scared my first kid with my tattoo yesterday. It was very rewarding. Love, Michaela xoooxoxxoxxxox
from his-holiness :
You're right, I do love to hate you. This has nothing to do with motherfuckers not having a sense of humour, this has to do with motherfuckers cracking jokes about other people's business. And, so you're aware, it was never acceptable to desribe things you don't like as "gay," and people should have stopped looking the other way at that when you were twelve. Watch your mouth-D
from kitty-kaboom :
YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!! I've missed you SO much love!!!! Rock my FUCKING socks daddy!!!!!!!! Woooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
from justcircles :
my next degree will be dedicated to you!!
from broken-face :
Do you read X-E? Your diary reminds me a lot of it.... right down to the Pac-Man tattoo.
from shamsi9 :
i heart your freckles
from gumphood :
Yeah. That'll do it. Now I HAVE seen it all.
from wywriters :
where do all these people in the pix live? trailer parks? basements? sounds hot- have them drop me a line...
from not-it :
dear sweet Mr. Dan Scanzilla...your fav time of the year and mine. happy fall-idays. don't forget, Freddy is deffinetly in your sheets, Leather Face is waiting for you to walk to the bathroom down the hall to mow your ass down, Michael Myers finally killed the bitch Jamie Lee Curtis and hes on his way to your house next. close your closet door when you go to bed and never run upstairs or go in the basement when that scarey music is playing. missing you, ~k
from heathrr86 :
what's up dude? It's been a while. I'm back, the party may continue. :) talk to you lat0r
from kitty-kaboom :
Long time no hear!!! I MISS YOU! Update or feel my wrath! (you've seen what I can do to a peep, don't think I will show you any mercy!!)
from ihatejodie :
bah! that what so scary!!! happy halloweeny.
from greenfinch :
my pathetic smoker's heart almost stopped. that's some hella funny shit.
from ph0enixtears :
Those "ghosts" are dickweed. But this http://navi.lpm-studio.com/Subliminal.html is freaky. Enjoy. -Annie-
from shamsi9 :
you are my favorite dirty slut from the land of stovetop ghosts and pez completists
from justcircles :
so I was cleaning lint out of my electrical sockets with a pair of tweezers when the phone rang, and it never stopped ringing... (i miss your ass)
from shamsi9 :
that guy is my uncle/real dad. please be kind, rewind.
from sheburnsx :
scanzilla. eek. you used to read me when i was versusblue/concealerx i think. how the hell are you ? :)
from everoboto :
Dear Scanzilla, I found out about you after I was recently taken for one of your Evil Roboto Army minions. Please tell me, dear sir, how does one attend such a coverted spot in your armed forces? I'm very interested in a position, and I think that you will find that I am quite suited for combat amongst your ranks. References available upon request. Kindly, The Empress of Metal \m/
from buenacabra :
nice pics nice tattoos... tried to sign the guestbook but it hated on me. And to the "inferior" website comment, mine may be inferior but this one isn't ;) http://www.FreeCondoms.com/default.aspx?referer=3619256
from euphoria21 :
Hey that pic of you with the Velvet Underground t-shirt, you look cute. I took your survey, you kick ass
from voodoochick :
Cool pic'
from mattferrara :
is that headphones wearing zombie from Day of the Dead?
from gumphood :
OH I agree. I mean, the YMCA, the "boys". Its a clever plan for some greasy pig sex. hahah
from shamsi9 :
again with the laughter. yay for dickhands! dick encrusted foodstufs take me high enough to fly me over yesterday.
from amber163 :
Haha thanks. I know how to play a little and hopefully soon I'll start taking lessons or something.
from gumphood :
That entry was inspired by Dicky Roberts: Former Catholic Molestor. Thanks Dicky for your wild orgyies and lack of human cleanliness. Frankly I wash my hands before I touch the unit. Much better that way.
from justcircles :
in the years we've known each other it's been one wild-baggage-carrousel-ride and sometimes I think to myself: Scan is my father-figure
from gumphood :
Also I would say I like hearing the crushing of my enemies for the most part. I am glad things have been going well. Hopefully that is a trend that shall continue.
from gumphood :
hahaha I liked that entry quite a bit
from gumphood :
hey dog. Nice to hear from you again. I hope things are going well for you. Your body holding up okay?
from i-lost-alice :
hola, I've been reading your diary for some time, but have never left you a note before. As you probably figured out already... Um, I figured if anyone could appreciate these, you could: http://yallbi.com/kootierox1.asf http://yallbi.com/kootierox2.asf at first it'll look like they're not working; but they do. I apologize if you've seen this before.
from mattferrara :
why not read up on your favorite star and mine? http://www.tonydanza.com
from thatmarygirl :
dude.
from chuckfilthy :
yeah fuck don knotts! fuckim'!! wait....where am I?.....
from sunksunk :
thanks for making me able to laugh at the world. i must go, the midgets are finally sleeping...
from justcircles :
My dear precious Scandal: I'm locked but not forgotten (username=absence/ password=thinair)
from angel09 :
dude, you are my fuckin' hero!
from gumphood :
I fucken love it.
from not-it :
i still heart you lotts
from gumphood :
Bro. I dig it. I love when you update. I am like a 12 year olg girl waiting for the new harry potter book. Or like my mom waiting for the new harry potter book. I hope every string you broke was worth it.
from fate-at-14 :
wow! An un-provoked note! Anyways..Yes toronto is an amazingly beautiful city. Lots of comic book stores apparently... Im going there some time next week. It shall be fun. I'll kick a homeless person for you.. unless thery're pissing on a building. eww..
from mattferrara :
I was just sitting here listening to Europe's "The Final Countdown" over and over and slopping pounds of chunky peanut butter on my gonads and, well, don't think me gay or anything, but I thought of you. We gotta hang out sometime soon. Still got your Return of the Living Dead DVD. Which, by the way, is truly a masterpiece, a zenith of modern filmmaking if I ever saw one...
from lollipoprock :
mmm... friendster.
from missgloworm :
Man, you are straight bugging, but I like your imagination.
from lollipoprock :
yeah, so i was at this party last night, and ultimate party chick was there.. she gives some bangin' head.
from funnylilgirl :
saw your latest entry. i was wondering, have you ever read bagenders (l.o.t.r. fan fiction)? specifically this episode http://bagenders.stormpages.com/story/ep11.html
from pitty-sing :
ass crack.
from lil-arsonist :
HAHAHA I just want ot say, your newest entry (The 12 days of Suffering carol) is a riot :) You rule!
from boardho :
And they lock me up. Please seek professional help. :)
from kaybiff :
that's it... i cast a resurrection spell. *laugh* oh god. did i say that? i think i did... er... crap! ...well, now that's all said in done... i guess i should follow up by some sort of healing or strength increase spell like restore... or vigor... what, so you can, you know, overthrow satan, escape from hell, seek revenge on mr. t, and sex me up... *cough* wait. i think i did it again... erp. i swear... i need to stop. *stopping*
from justcircles :
that screw juice looks strangely similar to tequila... WAIT!! WHAT HAVE THEY BEEN SERVING ME?!?!?!
from shivasgrl :
Damnit, and I told Stalin to stop plugging people! (You haven't seen Barbie, have you?)
from justcircles :
...dude!
from nateboxley :
Dude, you are pretty funny. Too bad you are dead. Otherwise you could hang out with me in Boston and we could both die. No wait. Nevermind.
from d-rex17 :
sir, how deep is your love?
from discothekid :
Dear Robot King, You are one seriously fucked up kid. Yeah, I'm a fan.
from sspunchie :
yo fucker, don't be begging us to help you out, you are the one that went off and died, pussy. I say, you get what you deserve and if you get a hot rod up your dark star then thats destiny. DIg? you slimy sack of mucus membrane. oh yeah, your mom gives great head, she must have taught you well. HA! love, shannon
from gumphood :
At least he is kind enough to use the lube I always pegged him for a raw dog. Keep cool man... well you are in hell, so I guess. Hey I heard its not the heat but the humidity. That true. Well if it freezes over let me know; Red Sox are in a playoff hunt!!!
from gumphood :
Don't call it a comeback, you've been dead for years. I would say some sort of silly Buffesc ressurection
from peteypuke :
What could be so disturbing about Pink Flamingos? Surely not the singing anus, or the chicken slaughter? Most definitely not the sight of Divine clutching a raw pork chop between her thighs or the turd eating scene at the end? Hmmm I wonder what it could have been ....?
from gumphood :
I think if you stay dead for like ten more days, people are gonna start vigils and shit. oh man.
from untame-able :
Dude...you have hella time on your hands, don't you? I am betting there are at least 132 girls on d-land that would sleep with you. That makes me lose faith in humanity. (Uhh...no, course I'm not one of them... god..)
from habbit :
jeebus, give scanzilla back. a resistance force is coming.
from ionme :
How do you possibly keep up with all of your favorites? No wonder there are gaps between your entries, you have to read 1,000,000 other diaries. I can barely keep up with mine and limit it to around 20 favorites. Take care you sexy corpse!
from kitty-kaboom :
jane hearts scanzilla x 100,000,000!!! you always know how to make me feel better....... In my pants!
from justcircles :
dude...
from musicland :
you are one cool kid
from gumphood :
Snoopy vs Garfield. Garfield can use knifes. Snoopy can use a whip. Garfield get a shield. Snoppy gets a Net. Who will win.
from justcircles :
dying when you're not really sick is really sick
from autumnal :
Yeah that guy who sells flowers in downtown crossing IS an asshole.
from miabogard :
Yeah, profile thingies. I'm a pro at re-creating the perfect summation of someone else's diary, however I seem to have difficulty summing things up in my own diary. Oh the irony. Oh the humor. Oh the lack of sleep I'm suffering from. Get the damn armband....! Stop being a wuss, or I'll find a girl to put a booger on you.
from morbid-lover :
cannibal corpse... what's that?
from kaybiff :
"poop shoot"... "crack"... can't suppress giggle... ha ha ha ha... oh my. yes, well, i personally perfer to enslave many-armed sea creatures for sexual favors... so many possibilities... *shiver* er... *cough* yes.
from kaybiff :
ummm... yes, that was it... exactly... *steps back* er... right. (*giggle*) ...while i'm at it, damn their horns too.
from kaybiff :
(erp. damn the keyboard and my horrid spelling! damn it all! *cry cry* ...i know what i must do... must... get... hammer.) *they not them
from kaybiff :
speaking of unicorns-- what have them done to you, gary?! *laugh* (...you should know where that's from.)
from miabogard :
Did you ever get the chain of pac-man people around your arm?
from justcircles :
Rambo tickets!! effing sick ass shit, dude!!
from justcircles :
Clinton Emotionally Ready To Start Getting Blow Jobs Again
from abacinate :
Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Dead Robot Army Leader. You look like a sexy mama and you smell like one too!
from nateboxley :
I think that you are pretty funny guy. Now if only you could teach me how to die. HAH.
from kaybiff :
paper cup phones, you say? ...i have string! half way there! *laugh*
from kaybiff :
...maybe you should take it easy on mr. t... being as the a-team is long gone... and he has to resort to petty weapons like guns... i mean, he used to hit people to make them suffer the gold chained man's wrath... and now... he suffers... he just wants to feel "big" again... can't you let him feel big? even if it is by taking him down... gently? ...oh what am i saying...? I WANT MY EVIL ROBOT LORD BACK! cry cry
from veggiedog :
happy birthday. (you weren't shitting molly ringwald, were you? today really is your birthday, right?)
from gumphood :
Hey, Look who's back. And eating some Molly Shellfish. Nice.
from booberella :
My friends and family are sick of me screaming "NUFF JIBBA JABBA!" at them when I don't feel like answering their questions. Also, I've just been told that "NUFF JIBBA JABBA!" is not a good way to divert foreplay into intercourse. Why must the world be against me and my quest to stop Jibba Jabbarin'?
from ionme :
P.S. I had to mention you in my diary, I thought that your entry today was hilarious :)
from ionme :
OMG, Molly Ringwald LOL You crazy.
from not-it :
boo. i'm still here. luv yous.
from kaybiff :
...that almost looked like dr. cube... *drool*... i need... cube... need... cube now...
from cuillin :
p.s. why, oh why, can't Mr. T. and Scanzilla just rule side by side? Imagine the power! The glory! The spittle-lipped peons kissing your collectively enormous feet! Hell, I don't know what's going on. I am oh so wayward, fighting without a cause. Why go on?
from cuillin :
you know...I haven't been following the apparent unrest brewing in the Army...I'm not even sure if that's what it IS. I'm very bewildered. But if Mr. T. isn't my leader, I'm not so sure that I want to fight for the cause anymore. My moral's down, you know? All shot to shit. I don't feel one bit like being Naked Catwoman. Nope. Not one bit. You sort this all out for me, or I'll be forced to...do something. psssst: figures you're a Gemini, too. Happy almost birthday; mine's tomorrow. Blech.
from kaybiff :
...i have been reading your diary on the sly for a while now... and i must say, i want to have/devour your baby... *giggle cough sputter* and does this game of "you show me yours and i'll show you mine" involve any type of poking? ...not that i was ever involved in such festivities... or ever enjoyed such things... *cough* er... i think that you have earned the honor of being forever immortalized in my profile. *takes off non existent hat to you and your evil genius*
from neko-carre :
Ohhhh, you were of the "Stoner" clan. I remember you! Hahaha! I'd made some friends with a few "stoners" and it was so scandalous! Inter-mingling with the different cliches was Not Cool. Pff, high school. Anyway, thanks for your compliments. Actually my eyes are about as blue as they come. Must be the photo. Cuz like the song says, "Donuts make my blue eyes greeeeeen." (Okay, stupid joke.)
from catie-dids :
please stay away from the priests. . .I hear they like cute little boys like you. . .they like toys too (although that could make things a lot of fun!) A rector, toys and a confessional -- geez that's my kind of date! I'm back and alive. . .aren't you so happy.
from maddypunk :
If mr.T killed Scanzilla then why is he refered to as his best friend? Coincident? I think not! -Keep on writing you sick bastard you-
from jenne1017 :
not a problem -- I have the same kind of fetish withodor eaters -- pre use, although post use may work.
from ohio21boy :
this isn't the end, is it??? surely scanzilla will rise from the dead...
from horngoddess :
if he's dead....then what will make me laugh every day?? what hope can a poor girl like myself have in this world with him gone?? What will I fantasize about at night?? *sniffle* This is horrible....
from spoonbender :
favoorite diary, so funny
from cheap-misery :
scanzilla dead? Nooooo!
from justcircles :
hey!!!!!!
from diaryquotes :
you know, i'd consider adding you to diary quotes, except for the fact that you kind of scare the hell out of me.
from justcircles :
sorry your pussy-ass couldn't stand the T... but if your noncorporeal (wuss) self can check out the following JPEG you'll see the new face(s) of Evil Robot Leadership: <IMG SRC = "http://justcircles.diaryland.com/images/evilrobotleaders.jpg" border = 0>
from btchelicious :
And at first I was disappointed because with his being dead and all. I thought Scan wouldn't be able to join in the orgy next weekend when I come visit. But then I realized that just because he's dead doesn't mean he can be a part of the sick sex crazed happenings! YAY!!!
from btchelicious :
Your guestbook SUX0RS!!! IM GLAD U R DED!!11!!!
from greatgadfly :
http://www.centralcommunitypress.co.uk/clownbig.jpg
from peth :
yes, please be my practice knead-board. I will press your body parts into submission and braid you like bread dough. I will give you Swedish massage with meatballs.
from kerbang :
i'm from chelmsford. NH serves all my fireworks and tax free shopping needs.
from gumphood :
What I know is that if the ass ain't round, then its easier to snort the coke. However, its less pleasing to the eye. And hand. I reccomend trying a hand held mirror. Why? You want to stick it girl's anus, so that you get anal stimulation and mental inflamation.
from kerbang :
noooooooooooooooo! hurry back yo. my quotient of robot pictures will be far too low in your absence.
from justcircles :
your new banner is so cool it just made power-blasts shoot from my eye-balls and I accidentally turned our dog into stone!!! um, how can I fix that?
from bellamante :
Thanks for the help!
from bellamante :
Do you have a gold membership with D.Land or how do you get pics on your site? I've been trying to figure that one out for a while now, b/c I don't want to have to buy a gold membership. Nice site, btw. :)
from cindie-loo :
s--a--weet nipples..i am on the army page. total coolness and i looove the caption. its so true!
from justcircles :
REO Speedwagon? I should be cooler than that...
from justcircles :
I can't fight this feeling anymore; I've forgotten what I started fighting for; it's time to bring this ship into the shore, and throw away the oars forever, 'cause I can't fight this feeling anymore; I've forgotten what I started for, and if I have to crawl across the floor, come crashing through the door, baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore!
from ionme :
Hurry back :)
from justcircles :
what do you want for your birthday?
from justcircles :
Ralph Macchio.... AW GEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! "....Knowing together that we did it all for the glory of love!"
from justcircles :
If you had HTML in your guestbook I would totally post a picture of me holding up my full collection of ABBA - but maybe just hearing that is enough to make you cream your jeans!
from kitty-kaboom :
cruisin down the street in my six four.... dude, just admit it already, YOU'RE TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH ME!
from gumphood :
oh man that banner was fantastic
from gumphood :
Yeah. Damn them and their fancy nipples. I have a question. How did you get so many people to link to you? I mean I love you diary, but that number of people. Its just amazing
from gumphood :
you won't beleive this but the Chincilla is my favorite stupid animal. I conviced people in Graduate schools they were astral creatures. Stupid students. They really got so weiner juice.
from justcircles :
my hero!
from deviousone :
Oh man. You are too funny...
from gnometits :
nope. last time i checked scanzilla was hot.
from whyihateyou :
I fucking hate you. I really do.
from justcircles :
I'm so fucking sick of listening to your goddam bitching like some pussyfooted whiny-ass girl tripping on her skirt! you think you're cold? i'll show you cold!! you're not the first faygot who's virginity i've taken but you're the only one who thought it was something special... and now you're all belly-aching about your looks?!?! just be happy i haven't carved out your eyes and fucked your skull!
from cheap-misery :
Awww.....poor Dan, Well I do believe I can safely say, you my friend are definitly not ugly. Non-asses can be sexy too!
from ludicn :
Has anyone told you lately how hot you are? Because well, you are hot. FACT: Dan=hot The end.
from ionme :
LOL - you are definitely having your period!!!
from asitwere :
Whenever I am cold I fill the hearth with the warm glow of battery-powered ass crickets and pixie dust sprinkled off a fly-girls face glitter. Fuck the cold. Open the beer belly up to the Boston sun today... and get your ass packin for a trip down here. I'll show you where's its at.
from justcircles :
lets start a car race - called Led Zeppelin II - where the cars have to go around 666 times and the winner's circle is a snake pit with a lava-flowing waterfall with blue-mutant hookers swimming unscathed through the molten-hot liquid while sprinkling the purest cocaine into the crowd... and you and I will sing Chicago covers...
from sex-eyes :
omg! i love how u call it "bumping uglies"! it makes me wanna bump uglies with u just cuz of that odd name for it. what's ur address? jk
from abacinate :
You could schtupp me any time you wanted if you lived *ahem* remotely close to me. I *heart* ataris.
from btchelicious :
Work has been kicking my ass. Please send help and cocaine.
from kerbang :
I too would never give up video games. I mean, what else would we do with our joysticks?
from gumphood :
I can't figure out if that entry was hefty or handy
from ionme :
Poor little smurfberries!!!
from lollipoprock :
come here to north carolina. i want to take you to the barcade down the street and play games, and i want to make sweet sweet robot love while listening to transistor!transistor!... i will so so so so so so so so so make your trip worthwhile. xoxolaurie
from gumphood :
Oh no. I respect it. And I have seen the photos. Nothing like him. Also I think its valid that you have classic systems. Its too bad ebay has gone to hell
from gumphood :
Thats the best dorky question I have been asked in a while. My girl still got her atari, which is uber-cool. Unfortuantly I have no idea where to buy them in the area. Shit man I loved Pitfall.
from gumphood :
Hey Scan. No up the date in a while. You okay?
from justcircles :
if you want to destroy my swEETer... I'll squeeze your sugarcube till it bleeds...
from justcircles :
I'm like a chocxoholic... only for booxze
from justcircles :
and I'm a Pepxper!!
from justcircles :
I'll take the Pexpsi challenge with anyone claiming musical omnipresence!!
from justcircles :
you know, babe, you can't start a fire without a spark, and I say we start spelling our words with random X's in them, but not like XhardcoreX or anything, more like "You're my favoxrite!"... go read the profile for "ionme" and see where she added me today... and what she said about me... it's funnyyyyy
from justcircles :
Belt Buckles DO = sick... I'm totally looking forward to going to Boston: we'll have so much fun!
from justcircles :
This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?
from gumphood :
Some times When I am sad I scan my zilla and things are hunky dory rory this note has not a thing like my brain right now
from lil-arsonist :
OH! Well damn. Hey, I finallt "got" what you said about the AAA things on my guestbook... they didnt show up on my computer, but they did onmy boyfriends! I found them there! Ack! They were non breaking spaces (little & n b s p ; things... without the spaces), but I guess they just dont work sometimes. Thanks for catching that! I replaced them with elipses. Now I have elipses everywhere. Pab. The things I do to keep things aligned/away from walls. >8(
from justcircles :
I'm actually sitting here listening to Chicago, and that always makes me think about you... nothing like soft-rock electrical synthesizer solos
from justcircles :
Cowboy Dan's a major PLAYER on the cowboy scene, he goes to the reservation, drinks and gets mean, he says "I didn't move to the city, but the city moved to me, and I want out desperately"
from peteypuke :
I fucking love you. You are a sick crazy bastard intent on making me piss myself on a regualar basis.
from i-seee-you :
why the pictures of yr.self. ?
from justcircles :
I'm not funny. I wish I were. I'd say something here about how me and Crystal want to play with each other's pillows and that you and Asit can run and play GIJoe because she adn I are all we've been searching for in this lonely world and we don't need no men. But I'm not funny, so I won't say that, becuase that's not true.
from kitty-kaboom :
im a tigger in the sack! Rawr!!!!
from lavanotes :
:(
from ludicn :
What about you Dad? (as his father) Fuck you! (as himself) No, Dad, what about you? (as his father) Fuck you! (as himself--yelling) No, Dad, what about you? (as his father--yelling) Fuck you
from kittenclaws :
when ever i'm feeling agitated and restless I hit up your page and it never fails to make me giggle conspicously and garner stares from fellow library patrons. So, big ups. Also, the first photo on yer picture page is totally hot. Are you skanking (or just skanky?) Whatever yer doing, keep it up!
from justcircles :
(I needed something to laugh at today)
from justcircles :
OMG!!! LOL!!!! That's SOOO FUNNY!!
from blankwave :
thanks for leaving me a note. you are insane, and i like that.(halo 2 looks unbelievable)
from gumphood :
Hey Scan. You got some mad diary links. I mean three diary's. Thats keeerazy. When did you do Scanzilla 3?
from hapithoughts :
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell! Here is how you matched up against all the levels: Level | Score Purgatory | Very Low Level 1 - Limbo | Low Level 2 | Very High Level 3 | Moderate Level 4 | Very Low Level 5 | High Level 6 - The City of Dis | High Level 7 | Very High Level 8- the Malebolge | High Level 9 - Cocytus | Moderate Level descriptions: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-information.html Take the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
from d-rex17 :
it's a trap, quoth akbar.
from katybug :
I vacuumed another ant today. So now the first one has a co-conspirator.
from justcircles :
all I'd been planning on writing about was how my diary is in the top-ten of the top-100, but instead my plans were thwarted by my subconscious and I ended up vomiting my past or something... Thanks for your encouragement: kind words break the monotony of my quiet mornings.
from lil-arsonist :
"I hope you two spent the rest of the prom night snorting coke off of each other's ass" Ho ho!!!!! 0_o' How old are you, man? Just curious. :)
from lil-arsonist :
HAHAHA your newest entry (the Luke skywalker one) is a riot! Luke Skywalker is my favorite though... :)
from mondocurio :
What do you do in Danvers? My best friend lives there with her parents, and they're like family to me so I'm usually up there a few times a month.
from justcircles :
oh, the laughter "But I wanted to go to the Tashi Station and pick up some power converters!" Luke is such a pussy....
from lil-arsonist :
Thank you. :) I actually have a pretty good sense of humor, but I write such long entries that most people dont take the time to notice! YOU, my friend, have a funny diary. :) I like. :D
from deviousone :
Reading your journal makes me laugh. Never lose your sense of humor, darling. <3
from uclafan87 :
Nope! You arent the only ass mint out there..We shall hold hands, hold them up high and be pround and declare we are the king and queen of all ass mints!
from ludicn :
Well thank you sir. I recall having a similar reaction to your pictures when I first discovered your site, but shit, I totally left without stating the obvious! I'm such an asshole. Also, the two aliens on my desk thoroughly enjoyed your alien entry yesterday. Though they commented how preposterous it was that the predator didn't know the alien was male, "it's SO obvious", they said. Poor predator, still in the closet at HIS age? All those years of pent up emotions... I can see why he's so easily provoked to battle.
from deviousone :
You're most certainly welcome. I like the funny as well. <3
from justcircles :
I'm so sorry to hear that you were sick, and I'm glad you're back; we all missed you lots
from wonderchai :
can i be one of your army?
from gnometits :
that happened one time with my care bear and a my little pony.
from wonderchai :
Where have you been all my life?! And, *swoon* where are you now?
from deviousone :
You are quite the humorous one. It's lovely, dear.
from ionme :
you need to write books or something, if your imagination is that wild without drugs you are one of a kind, if you are on drugs, they must be some good shit!!
from justcircles :
Daaaaaaany Boyyyyyyy! The pipes! The PIPES!
from uclafan87 :
hey there! i just HAD to leave a note because it turns out, if you search for "ass mint" on google, our diaries are getting the most hits. just thought id share. ahh..pacman.
from justcircles :
and by the way, I don't mind being in Scanzilla3, while Asit is in the original, because I know you read me still...
from i-seee-you :
sn: pumpkinfish pss: pumpkinfish
from kitty-kaboom :
you made my pants wet. In more ways than one! woot woot!
from justcircles :
hey, remember that time you and I plowed through 666 lines of blow off the tension-wires on the Brooklyn Bridge?
from sex-eyes :
u r so weird and I often wonder if u r on drugs when u write this stuff, but then I reliaze I know way weirder people who have never done drugs in their life. I like ur weirdness though. Keep on keepin on...
from augustsend :
Mmmhhh... Pedro the Lion. I love that crazy mellowed out jesus freak. Oh and you look totally hardxcore in your picture with the cigarette. Mmmmhhhhh... cigarette.
from mellowmeout :
Hi! Just thought I would tell you that I think you are a fucking weirdo. And I don't mean that in a bad way. I like fucking weirdos.
from julysunshine :
Hey. Came across your diary..not only are you adorable, but you are funny as well..wow..good combo
from mr-sparkles :
Chock full of ass whoopin strength.
from gnometits :
don't you think that the singer for guided by voices is a horrible dancer?
from sspunchie :
i wonder if you could feel it, I mean, as I punched her hard cock would your ears burn?
from sspunchie :
i'd like to punch your mother in the boner
from gnometits :
oh scanzilla!!! thanks for the compliament on the hair. the pink stays. keep makin' me laugh.
from justcircles :
(there were way too many spelling errors in that last note for me to feel good about myself. I really need to go back to school. I'm gonna be wicked dumb in no time)
from justcircles :
that takes a lot a brass for the ole Cap'n to be bustin chops on the pink Frank considering that Crunch bastid ain't got to mAHshmallows! Ever cut the roof of your mouth on that shit? yeah you have! At least through in some gaddam crunch-berries to take the edge off! It's all about the muth'fucking maarshmallows. shit!
from trancejen :
Why the fuck does it make you wait to sign a guestbook again? Argh. Anyway, yeah. Snot. So not enjoying the snot. I have enough snot to fill a hot tub.
from justcircles :
are you busy later? cause I'd like to come over and ice your nuts.
from justcircles :
this plane is definitely crashing...this building's totally burning down... and my- and my- and my- and my heart is slowly dried up...!
from wonderchai :
teehee! ooh you make me BLUSH! *blush*
from mattferrara :
ah, went back to Canada, huh? Yeah, there's some weird violence in America that can't be tracked down to any definite source. It's just THERE. Though in San Francisco, there were 200,000 people at the protest in Feb., and a few hundred people got violent. Maybe one percent of the overall congregation of people acted inappropriately. The next day, the Chronicle reported that the protest "took an ugly, violent turn." That's the American way, whether we're talking about the rich corporate goons who call the shots, or some schmuck throwing a rock through a store window, one percent of the population screws things up for everybody.
from rockyraven :
Thats great...you smell like dookie
from hapithoughts :
FUCKERS! gbook don't workie. i wanted to say that next you shoudl do slip n' slides. i lvoed those thigns, except when i slipped onto the grass or the gravel beside it. sex-c sex-c sex-c. u u u . [] <- dookie?
from justcircles :
have you ever, um... I mean, remember that time when you... ah -- shit. it's spring!
from i-seee-you :
i think i love you
from astro-vamps :
envy my groin. no...wait. don't. ahh...maybe you could. its up to you really. but yes, envy my groin.
from justcircles :
you never give me your money, you only give me your funny paper, and in the middle of negotiations you break down... I never give you my number, I only give you my situation and in the middle of investigation I break down... (Out of college, money spent, see no future, pay no rent, all the money's gone, nowhere to go...) Oh that magic feeling, nowhere to go! One sweet dream: pack up your bags and get in the limousine. Soon we'll be away from here, step on the gas and wipe that tear away. One sweet dream came true today. Yes it did (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7: all good children go to heaven).
from thisdarkgirl :
hadn't read your stuff in a while... verdict is, you still remind me of Atari 2800 games I'd sadly forgotton about. Pitfall is awesome!
from jofetish :
thanks for leaving me that interesting message. if it was a reference to something, and i should know what you meant by that, just remember i'm a horny blonde and i didn't make it past the testicle part:) nice diary page, and very nice pics. visit me anytime, and i mean anytime ;)
from doombilly :
ok, if we are twins, lets both be evil. No one likes the good twin anyways.
from sinecure :
you have to have something interesting with which to start in the follow-up articles, though, wouldn't you agree?
from katy-bug :
Double take Fading into You. x
from cheap-misery :
lol. will do.
from cheap-misery :
thats cool. when i grow up i wanna be a tattoed nudist. that way evryone will be too scared of me to come close enough to actually hurt me. I think i will take your advice on the whole verbal insults thing, makes alot more sense than trying to beat the shite out of a 6 foot tall jock....
from cheap-misery :
lol, maybe both.
from ionme :
I've never made love to a unicorn but I went down on a mermaid once :)
from cheap-misery :
I know how you feel.
from justcircles :
are you busy later? cause I'd like to come over and ice your nuts.
from justcircles :
You give me fever when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight. Fever! In the morning, and fever all through the night... Here's the point that I have made: Chicks were born to give you fever, Be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade. They give you fever when you kiss them, fever if you live and learn. Fever! 'till you sizzle; what a lovely way to burn!
from justcircles :
La Di Da Di we likes to party We don't cause trouble we don't bother nobody We're just some niggaz who're on the mic And when we rock up on the mic we rock the mic [right] For all my Doggs keepin y'all in health Just to see you smile and enjoy yourself Cuz it's cool when ya cause a cozy conditionin Which we create, cuz that's our mission So listen close, to what we say Because this types of shit happens every-day I woke up around 10 o'clock in the mornin I gave myself a strech up, a mornin yawn and went to the bathroom to wash up I threw some soap on my face and put my hands up on a cup and said um "Mirror mirror, on, the wall Who is the top Dogg of them all?" There was a rubble dubble, five minutes it lasted The mirror said, "You are you conceited bastard" Well that's true, that's why we never have no beef So I slipped off my khakis and my gold leaf Used Oil of Olay, cuz my skin gets pale And then I got the file, for my fingernails I'm true to the style on my behalf I put some bubbles in the tub so I can take a bubble bath Clean, dry, was my body and hair I threw on my brand new Doggy underwear for all the bitches I might take home I got the Johnson baby powder and Cool Water cologne Now I'm fresh, dressed, like a million bucks Threw on my white sox, with my all blue chucks Stepped out the house, stopped short, oh no I went back in, I forgot my indo Then I dilly [dally] I ran through an [alley] I bumped into this smoker named [Sally] from the [Valley] This was a girl playin hard to get So I said "What's wrong?" cuz she looked upset She said um It's all because of you, i'm feelin said and blue You went away, now my life is filled with rainy days I love you so, how much you'll never know Cause you took your dope away from me A-huh, a-huh, ahuh Damn, now what was I to do She's cryin over me and she was feelin blue I said, "Um, don't cry, dry your eye And here comes your mother with those two little guys" Her mean mother steps then says to me "Hi!!" Decked Sally in the face and punched her in the eye Punched her in the belly and stepped on her feet Slammed the child on the hard concrete The bitch was strong, the kids was gone Somethin was wrong I said, "What was goin on?" I tried to break up, I said, "Stop it, just leave her!" She said, "If I can't smoke none, she can't either!" She grabbed my closely by my socks So I broke the hell out, and I grabbed my sack of rocks But um, they gave chase, they caught up quick They started cryin on my shoes and grabbin my dick and sayin.... Why don't you give me a play So we can brake it down the Long Beach way And if you give me that okay I'll give you all my love today Doggy, Doggy, Doggy, can't you see Somehow your words just hypnotize me And I just love your jazzy ways Doggy Dogg, your love is here to stay And on and on and on she kept goin The bitch been around before my mother's born! I said, "Cheer up!" so I gave her a hit I said, "You can't have me, I'm too young for you bitch!" She said, "No you're not," then she starts cryin I says I'm nineteen, she says, "Stop lyin!" I says, "I am, go ask my mother And with your wrinkled pussy, I can't be your lover" Yeah, uhh, tic toc you don't stop And to the, ah tic toc and you don't quit Yeah, tic toc and ya don't stop, and to the ah tic toc and ya don't quit, beeeotch!
from peteypuke :
my bloody valentine is perfect for a crippling can't get out of bed kind of day. i know how you feel, my father died before i had a chance to do and say a lot of things i should have. try not to to torture yourself too much. it never goes away but it does get easier.
from horngoddess :
*hugs for you* we all have days like those
from justcircles :
Loveless indeed
from justcircles :
If I could make you think of anything right now, it would be the whistle-solo at the beginning of "Winds of Change"... "Take me to the magic of the moment, on a glory night where the children of tomorrow dream away in the wind of change..." But not that part, just the whistle. I want it stuck in your head all day long... driving you nuts... Scorpion style.
from sex-eyes :
this dog I wrote about is like a rat. I will write about him in my diary right now come to think of it.....now you will have to read to learn about my dog which NEVER dies. He didnt die! This is the fourth time we thought he was gonna die and he sprung back up to walk again like he was a spring chicken or sumthin.... so you rode a magical unicorn? Yeah drugs do that...jk
from justcircles :
Niki Sixx packs tic-tacs and rips-shit with riff-tickets to sick, pussy-whipped, dickless hicks
from justcircles :
PS, I'm the one who signed your guestbook as Georg... two times (one for tomorrow and one just for today)
from justcircles :
I'm going to say "shitting brick-tickets" for the rest of my life
from justcircles :
I've never sexed a kitten before, but I bet I sex like a kitte; and your Spiderman dances in perfect sync with Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"
from justcircles :
son of a motherless goat! I'm shitting brick-tickets! I fucking hate snow! I'd rather be licking crotch-cricket-ticket pickers with my chiclet pickle-tickler!
from justcircles :
I guess we've been together for a million years, and I guess we'll be together for a million more. It's like I started dreaming on the night we kissed, and I can't remember what I ever did before. What would we do, baby, without love? There ain't no nothin we can't love each other through. What would we do, baby, without love? Shananana.
from justcircles :
... my mama said that back home it's warm as piss-tickets and the flowers are all in bloom and the trees are green... Nothing kills my springtime buzz-ticket like snow in April... I want my mama... I'm gonna go listen to Carol King and think about home... SHIT IT'S MONDAY!
from cindie-loo :
html the damn guestbook...i was leaving you some hot sexy robot action ...and thus now..you will never know. hahaha
from justcircles :
oooh! he signed my guestbook: the boy ain't no kind a fighter at all. Enough about it already, though, right? I'm sick of this conversation. YOU are non-stop entertainment, though. I ain't fuckin with ya. My personal favorite phrase for masturbation is "rub one out" and I pumped my fist and said "YESSSSSSSSSSS" when I read that in your entry.
from sex-eyes :
I have been home sick for about 4days now and reading other peoples diaries in hopes of avoiding the downloading of porn on my computer or something. Being a girl, that is not as common as opposed to being a guy downloading porn. That is law of nature right there. N-e-who, thanks for the entertainment. You are very witty....I admire that.
from justcircles :
perhaps the problem with every man in the world is that they are all scared to death that if they spend another minute in my presence they will become powerless victims to their overwhelming adoration for me... Matthew was just scared of falling in love with me, and then me leaving, and his entire world crashing around his ankles... speaking of ankles, he was grabbing his when I wet-willied his Mr. Pinchie and it sent a spasm up his spine that kept him in that position until the next girl who came along... I don't think he works out (he is a self-declared "Indie Hipster" I kid you not).
from justcircles :
more like the happy-ending "I'll call you next week". But I'm unjust: I"m sure he's got his side of the story too, and perhaps I'm a bad kisser. Maybe I kiss like a possum and the light was reflecting off my retnas making them shine red and he it reminded him too much of his mom. I'm sure he's got perfectly good reasons for deciding I wasn't worth his time.
from justcircles :
Matthew was also the target for that "no sex till the third date" *joke* because I only hung out with him twice. You knew about that... but wasn't I kind to not tell everyone about his journal? Well, they can all read it now!
from btchelicious :
Your girlfriend is a playah! *BOOHOO*
from justcircles :
In the past I gave Matthew the courtesy of not spreading a lot of talk about him in my journal, but I sort of told you about him. In Philly, at the bar, when I was explaining how many of the guys I've gone out with end up being bigger WOMEN than I am. He's so six weeks, ago, though... I don't know why I was bugged enough to write about him again. Bah. Dating is a waste of time.
from moongazer37 :
your diary is strange, yet amusing. i like it a lot. just wanted to say hi. :)
from maddypunk :
Your sexy ladies made ME feel like I had done 666 hits of acid. Whoa, they made me feel really dizzy...
from neko-carre :
Hey hey! Any friend of BTMary's is a friend of mine! Love the dancing girls! :-)
from justcircles :
I'm on my way! and anyone who will try and stop me can shampoo my crotch! effing-A! ! ! ! I'm buying bus-tickets.
from sspunchie :
hey! well funny you mention it buti am moving to boston in August. kung fu away! more later.. peace out my brotha' get yo self some bitch tickets and slap dat monkey
from sspunchie :
hi THERE scan E zilla! last weekend I drove through your town on the way back to MElrose. It was weird... MAtt and i got that feeling of eerie recoginition.. " these here are Scanzilla's stomping grounds" I wondered what you were doing out there.. probably wacking off to X-men or something. "some where, out there, beneath the stinky(it smelled by the way, we musta been in the poopy part of town) night sky, scanzilla's drinkin' ah beer, molesting jerry gracia's ghost tonight." tral la. that was a song if you didn't realize, just FO' you, Motha Fucker.
from btchelicious :
You know what I love about you most? That you are one SICK fuck.
from justcircles :
will you please sign my notes? some real dorks have been clogging it lately...
from justcircles :
whatever you do DONT PUT ME IN YOUR EVIL ROBOT ARMY!!
from justcircles :
I'll check out the Rachels, then, because I. Can't. Stop. Buying. Music. The low album I got is called Trust, because it was the only Low album in the shitty record store, and I told the dude's it was shitty, and he gave me that, and Yo La Tengo, for $8 each... he was hoping for me to "talk" to him, but after he told me AFI's new cd is the "best punk album ever" I couldn't really stand talking to him much longer. So, yeah... If Tylere were here right now I'd take him to the circus.
from justcircles :
...you happen to be a sex ticket... but I'm not the score-keeper... I read your fucking journal even when you don't write... actually, you're better than sex tickets, and you're better than Led Zeppelin tickets, and you're more like the marshmallows in Count Chocula... but I'm sure you've heard all this...
from btchelicious :
I love you, but I love your girlfriend more...
from hapithoughts :
where is my gorgeous sexy baby?!?!?!?
from justcircles :
I treated you as if you were a princess; you treated me like a cop.
from hapithoughts :
why do you keep hitting on my boyfriend, matt? huh, why? are you jealous of our undying pshycadelic mushroom love? why?
from mattferrara :
Was that Doug E Fresh?
from btchelicious :
Your friend o1hitcharlie is looking to get lit up!
from btchelicious :
ahead of me? No, Dan, get behind me, behind me....yeah, mmmm, behind me....
from justcircles :
run as fast as you can, they're shooting to kill
from btchelicious :
OMG!! STOP IGNORING ME!!!
from justcircles :
so I downlaoded some Low....
from astro-vamps :
you have a very...err...strange sense of humor. but that is indeed why i love reading your diary. and i checked out your pictures page too. for some reason whenever i'm on the computer i always picture everyone looking the same. a fat balding guy surrounded by empty beer bottles. but i was glad that you weren't some fat balding guy.
from justcircles :
It did cross my mind that suns were rising and setting and ne'er a word from the SCANdal had entered my cyber realm. If you are in the need of relaxation perhaps I can help you with my "fresh baked muffins" and a glass of "cold milk" and a lend you an "ear"... hehe... "-" can make anything look dirty, right?! I know; it's still just cute. Damn. (I'm glad you like my layout)
from justcircles :
I'm a fucking retard and I hate it when I fucking mess up your guestbook because I don't know how to fucking copy a URL which takes us back to point #1 that I am a fucking retard... grrrrr....
from astro-vamps :
awesome diary. and awesome taste. in music. and movies. and i'm guessing everything else as well. so...yeah. just thought i'd say that i think you're cool. yeah.
from btchelicious :
I think I am returning to the realm of the living.
from sinnergi :
Just saw this somewhere else, and thought you'd appreciate it. http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_fullstory.asp?id=3828
from justcircles :
I'm not as concerned with the concept of Irregualar Rectal Bleeding as I am with the idea that there might exist what doctors call "regular" rectal bleeding.
from abacinate :
Pure GENIUS should not be deleted, thank you very much.
from blacksun :
I loved your recent entry. Please dont delete it. bye.
from beulahbondo :
I like your R-less accent! And stuff. Do you like...stuff?
from amatteson :
hi, i have a question, you dont know me, but I came across your diary. If you love jesus, then why is there a bunch of swearing and stuff in your notes and why does it say something about cocainne and you in a picture. Just curious! AMATTESON
from mattferrara :
It's all good, I didn't take anything personally. I'm perfectly aware of what I am: an overly-idealistic liberal, just slightly to the right of, say, an ecoterrorist. But I'm also aware that, whether my opinions are right or wrong, I serve a purpose in the greater scheme of things: my insane liberalism cancels out the insane conservativism of, say, a Pat Buchanan supporter. Truth is, I'm sick of thinking about everything, especially this war, and so I'm looking forward to next week when Shannon comes to visit me and I take time away from work--which is the only place I can do internet-related shit. Recharge my batteries. I'm admittedly getting a bit jaded by the whole thing. By the way, I'll suck your cock for five bucks. Not in a gay way, just in a funny haha sort of way. Just don't go bragging to your friends, bitch. :)
from justcircles :
"Golden Showers Fill Your Eyes" Don't do it, man. Keep that shit. You're so fucking retarded sometimes.
from jettemarie :
Is it wrong to want to have passionate sex with someone you don't even know? *sigh* You holding that guitar...oh...and your writing...yes...that's why I keep checking back here. ;o)
from justcircles :
Joe lies (when he cries)
from justcircles :
silly scan: didn't you read the news that Andrew posted this morning? it said your most recent entry might not load immediately... haha. I don't read the REAL news (like about the world and politics and shit) but I do read Andrew-the-Rectum-Ranger's news... haha. I'm glad the lobster entry sustained.
from btchelicious :
Ok, fine. Prepared to get fucked 69 times and feel better about yourself. I guess I'm going to have to fuck Crystal 69 times too. I'll never get rid of this cough...
from not-it :
so my long lost friend...whatever happened to all that cool shit your were gonna send me via snail-mail? and i sent Presley 5 bucks for your damn CD, wheres it at?!? don't make me turn your frost goats on you...~bitches get stiches~
from btchelicious :
I mean, jesus christ, how many times do I have to fuck you before you're convinced that you're really hott? With 2 T's and everything??
from btchelicious :
My favorite pic is the one where you are sniffing the cocaine off the side of you hand.
from btchelicious :
Shut up! You are so not ugly! You are like cute and stuff! LOL!! OMG!!
from monkeytoe :
I'd give you a lobster handjob if I wasn't laughing so hard!
from not-it :
Felt it in my hips so I dipped back to my bag of tricks Then I flipped for a tip, make me wanna do tricks for him Lick him like a lollipop should be licked
from ludicn :
Dude you're going to get me in trouble. I think my coworkers might be suspicious of the lone one laughing her ass off. But hot damn it's worth it!
from btchelicious :
thanks for the entry. I remember the weekend now...
from d-rex17 :
French=evil. Or so evil it's good?
from justcircles :
yesssss! FRENCH dip! and FRENCH fries! and FRENCH dressing! and FRENCH toast! Of course, I don't speak FRENCH, but I DO speak the universal language! you know! the language of LOVE!!!!
from btchelicious :
Wait, Michaela ordered the FRENCH dip on Saturday, didn't she? The FRENCH fucking dip! Is she some sort of FROG LOVING TRAITOR?? Why ddin't you karate chop her for the good of the country.
from btchelicious :
the best part about this weekend is when you karate chopped those I-Rock drivin' guys at the bar and then stole their hoes.
from mattferrara :
Bubba never calls me anymore. That bitch. After all the sweet, sweet ass-poundings.
from btchelicious :
Dear Scanzilla, you is kWaZy! I think I'm gonna puke...
from sappyemogrl0 :
sexy..
from keeds :
i'm not sure if i've fully read you before.. i remember seeing the red robots. i wasn't too impressed. then i read your fun facts pages about a handful of entries ago.. and i still wasn't impressed. but i'm impressed with the sometimes tender candor you bring to your seemingly brutal life.
from hardest-itch :
you are sexy as hell. can i do nasty things to you? --- inflating guy's egos since 1980. (love the booby, i mean bobby entry)
from angelsenvy :
Too bad you live so far away. I could show you what Texas is like. The concerts here kick ass... I would like to meet you in person. Have fun rockin' in Bostos though. Your banner was quite amusing.
from dasauce :
I finally got around to Favoriting Yer Dumb Ass. How's yer ping? DaSauceGuy
from macfarlane :
Thats a funny as shit diary, really good, rock on!
from justcircles :
so the pussy banner is back in action... SCORE! what do you say we do lunch tomorrow?
from ampagatha :
Hey your funny... though everythings funny when your high o.O. Thanks for makin me laugh so early in the mornining you funny bastard! And.. I mean bastard in the nicest way possible =o]
from justcircles :
I would have gone freaking crosseyed if I were you with that bridge-of-my-nose pierceage. Did you keep staring at it all the time? It pisses me off to just imagine having that shit pierced. AHHHHH!!!
from kittenclaws :
if you wrote a teen help book it would put Dee Snider to shame.... xo
from justcircles :
my favorite part when I'm in the car is to build up until I just fucking wail "She's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever!"
from gnometits :
how did you get the banner approved? does this include any diaryland spanking?
from peteandray :
I AM THE CATHOLIC CHURCH you little bastard
from mattferrara :
there's nothing funnier than a frenchman on a scooter. :) thanks.
from justcircles :
you are such a seXXXy mutherfucker
from btchelicious :
It's true, scanzilla is the biggest pussy ever. Last time he came to visit, he thought he saw a spider on the floor and he screamed and jumped into stchmo3's arms. But it turns out it wasn't a spider, it was just cat poo.
from justcircles :
I heard that you're a pussy and dress like a girl during sex... I might have to reconcider getting tattoos with you; I like manly men!
from justcircles :
oh, and I really think we should all get the same tattoo on our genitals - a tattoo of an octopuss, a robot, or a harmonica - and then we'll go out and vandalize bill-boards and over-passes and break the noses of anyone who stops and stares. Fuckers. Yeah, I'm totally getting a harmonica on my labia.
from btchelicious :
when you get here, you can smell my cats' asses. All six of them. Unless you prefer dog ass. And if that is the case, then I can't help you.
from justcircles :
what's your favorite song on Loveless?
from justcircles :
I now you do -- I mean, why wouldn't you? Rushmore is a fabuluous film; speaking of which, on the way to take the kids to school I was listening to Phantom Planet, which -- as you know -- is the band that Jason Schwartzman (in Rushmore) drums for... but why am I being so explicit? Of course you already knew all this...
from justcircles :
I've rented a car, and reserved a room at the Thuper 8, and this Mutter shit is going to make me feel right at home
from justcircles :
some diary user named deez-nuts put me on their buddy list...
from justcircles :
wtf!!!omg!!!:) There are two other people besides you who have signed my notes, and it pisses me off. Don't they know that only you are the note signer? Don't they have any consideration for your territory? SOML!!!!:):):):):)
from bionicgurl :
what the fuck is up with his tongue? does it always stick out like that.??
from cindie-loo :
your guestbook stole my panties...and i accidentally left you double the pleasure. oops.
from justcircles :
your dogs tongue is enough to qualify as a second pet! you are elite, Scanny-boy, and so am I: people who like good music ARE better than everyone else
from btchelicious :
Why have you been smelling your dog's ass??
from mattferrara :
haha you weird motherfucker! Even your dog is crazy! Great entry :)
from sspunchie :
WAIT- LICK YOUR ASS tongue FOR YOU AND YES, WELL I LIKE IT TOO.
from sspunchie :
PEPPER- I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT, WELL THIS MAY SOUND A BIT FORWARD BUT, WELL- I'LL LIKE YOUR ASS FOR YOU. LOVE, SHANNON
from btchelicious :
shots out of my navel!!!
from justcircles :
...his face is on my guestbook entry #210... I did a double-take the first time I saw him... I'm powerless under his control!!
from peth :
well, maybe not a pic of your FACE on a bubblegum card, but your soak pipe is pictured in all its glory on card no. 37 of the Topps series HUGE AMERICAN-STYLE PENISES. Collect em all!
from peth :
everyone knows you are too cool for school. what's the holdup?
from btchelicious :
The truth is behind all the evil robot armor lies an intense heart and a profound soul....
from justcircles :
crotch crickets smell like smarties, and my hair smells like crotch crickets, and smarties go good with gingerale
from solarlab :
even if i didn't already have calloused caps from kneeling to you(or for you), i would now. who doesn't think you're fucking brilliant?
from btchelicious :
I think scanzilla is Greek...anyway, 4 MORE DAYS! I am so gonna make you my beeotch!!
from wigmo :
raspberries are nice. you look pale in your pictures, so i thought you might be irish. and i'm going through this irish-guys-will-be-the-death-of-me-but-i'm-still-totally-attracted-to-them phase, so. and i'm bored.
from wigmo :
are you irish, by chance?
from mattferrara :
Nice Entry. I see you had your banner reviewed, too.
from justcircles :
Dear Scanzilla, prepare to qualify for your pole possition next Saturday. Love, Michaela oXo
from justcircles :
we saw Man or Astro Man on the same tour a couple years ago, but I was in Tennessee on a first "date" with a loser named Michael (I never learn!)
from mattferrara :
Still, if there's a movie about rats, I'm there.
from mattferrara :
I can't help it, the man should have his name legally changed to McFly. That's all he is to me. I call it the Carl Weathers Syndrome. I was watching Predator the other day, and when his name came up I was thinking how good it would be if it just said, "and Apollo Creed as 'Chubbs.'
from mattferrara :
right you are my friend, I do believe it's impossible to stump you. FYI anyone else who read that question below, NIMH was the Nat'l Inst. of Mental Health that did the experiments on the rodents in "The Secret of NIMH," the secret was that NIMH made the little furry bastards super-intelligent. What a great movie.
from mattferrara :
ether bunny. That's happened to me before... :)
from mattferrara :
haha... Doogie. You should do a Doogie Houser MD entry sometime. :) OK pop quiz hotshot, what does NIMH stand for?
from bannerreview :
You've been reviewed!
from sspunchie :
I get hot anytime someone has Doggie breath. Shit i wrote doogie breath, whatever in the world happened to doogie breath? what a pathetic turd. the hero for the nerds. I watched it and liked it. and wanted to punch Doogie's imitation new york homie in the teeth with a brick.
from gnometits :
it should say "i eat babies"
from cindie-loo :
dan, miserably i failed in an attempt to create a non-offensive banner that portrays my hatred for the porcelain princess. i step down now and instead, look for weapons with which to express my thoughts.
from mattferrara :
I don't know a lot of their stuff, other than "The Sea Horse," "The Love Life of the Octopus" and "Liquid Crystals." A friend put some of their stuff on a tape for me when she found out I liked Guided By Voices. By the way, I'm thinking of legally changing my name to Stabmaster Arson.
from mattferrara :
precious memories
from btchelicious :
hey, remember that time you fucked Rodriguez with Matt's dick and I was pushing?
from peth :
i married Robert Smith in the 9th grade, but it was a doomed love affair. I licked the sensual vanilla, and it licked me back.
from justcircles :
I will be there, and I will take a bite out of you, and if I spit out a pedal I'll give it to my brother; I learned about rock from my dad, too, and then I produced the music-icon that is my little brother, and I have Robert Smith's autograph.
from mattferrara :
Dude! ALF-FAN is a sick motherfucker. He told me all about what he said when he borrowed my computer. That's so wrong. So very, very wrong.
from mattferrara :
Dear Abby, is it wrong for me to want to Tea-Bag Willie Tanner from ALF? I mean, not in a gay way. Just as a goof. Sincerely, ALF-FAN. P.S., I hear that Scanzilla fellow wears so many hairy nuts on his chin that he's frequently confused with Abraham Lincoln.
from mattferrara :
Is it gay if you read Incredible Hulk comics and like the part when Hulk's clothes tear off? Of course not. Hulk's cool when he turns green, you can't help it if his clothes tear off. It's not gay. It's no more gay than wishing you could fuck the Hulk in his big green ass. Oh, um. Not that I do.
from mattferrara :
Oh SHIT I think I hear "Dueling Banjos." I'm outta here. hahaha
from sspunchie :
I think i might do a barbie spin off, strap ob barbie does the little ponies in smurf land part TWO.. herher
from nikkiwilson :
I like you. You make me laugh.
from btchelicious :
I believe it is there motto...SUPER8: Sleep in the Sick...
from btchelicious :
You will sleep in the sick at the Motel SUPER8!
from gnometits :
i've been awake for thirty hours.
from justcircles :
so, did you like that I knew the rap from the original TMNT movie? That's rock and roll, man. That's what it's all about. Today: The Cure "Disentigration"
from justcircles :
Scan, sometimes I get silly and use this forum as my actual "diary", but the rock and roll is all that should matter to you. I don't need anyone to share my religious beliefs if they don't already, so, hopefully I'll see you next weekend, a'ight?
from btchelicious :
I had a beer and a white russian at lunch today. The afternoon should be more bearable. Perhaps I will call out sick on the 14th.
from mattferrara :
weird. we both made Vanilla Ice references today. I think that's probably the most exposure he's gotten in a single day since 1990.
from justcircles :
I've been reading your back issues...
from btchelicious :
Some days you are around and other days you are not. Whut up wid dat?
from xx-freek :
Hello. I thought your cat thing was funny. I said "thing" 'cause I don't really know what to classify it as. But, eh...
from justcircles :
wash that wife-beater, Scan, I think I'm gonna be there, and you damn sure as hell better be 33% naked
from btchelicious :
I will so meet you scan and teach you what adults like. Oh, and I feel like I should appologize for voiceofevil because he is actually a friend of mind. I think he is just trying to be a dick.
from scanzilla :
I'm 15, I like sports, and I would like to meet older people in parks.
from btchelicious :
I'm probably older then all of you put together.
from justcircles :
my birthday is June 19th, but you're like, older and shit; I like Geminis, as a matter of fact. PBR is perfect. Do those people really think I'm looking down my nose at Philly? That I'm calling it "white trash" as though I'm not? Like, do they know I went to school in TN? hahaha. I'm amused. There's a good chance I'll show up in Philly. It ain't like I got shit to do, you know?
from btchelicious :
I'm osrry about voiceofevil. I don't know what his fucking problem is...probably just jealous.
from justcircles :
okay, you can come see me for my birthday, and I'll save baseball for my beloved Tylere (since he loves the Sox, too). When you come see me, in June, for my birthday you can either take me to see Coldplay or David Lee Roth. I can't decide!
from justcircles :
I think your goddam smiley faces are fucking stupid; what do you think about that? Pool's the shit, but I'd rather just shake my ass in front of the juke box all night and sip bourbon with a splash of coke and call all the men, "cowboy"
from scanzilla :
Baseball is 10 hours of the most boring torture I've ever had to sit through. Playing pool, now that's a good sport!
from justcircles :
I'm quite discouraged by the rampage on BASEBALL that's going on out in d-land right now, and I might have to reconsider all of my associations with you guys, because I genuinely love the game and it's like DONT GET ME STAHHTED. I'm shocked, Scan, that you would not enjoy the fucking sport. The Sox are my second favorite team. I guess I WONT call you when I go to Boston for a game next season. So yeah. What do you think about that?
from btchelicious :
YAY! YOu're girlfriend is enjoying her visit to BC!
from justcircles :
hmmmm, you know, I never really thought about WHO I should marry; I'm pretty certain something will come along, though
from mattferrara :
cool! look for me in the crowd, I'll be the blue-skinned guy with the backwards "S" on his shirt.
from justcircles :
first of all, I just wanna say that the Beta Band should maybe get a second shot from you guys: remember in Hi Fidelity when John Cusak puts on an album and it makes everyone in the whole store happy and buy stuff? THAT Beta Band album is very good (but I cannot vouch for them live); secondly, I love you so much Scan, that I put that gay-ass robot on my page. Just for you. This doesn't mean I'm your bitch. And it doesn't mean I'm trying to get you to put me in your army or anything. It just means I'm spreading some 'Zilla love.
from mattferrara :
Beta Band didn't blow my skirt up, either. I have one of their CD samplers that were handed out at the show but I've never even listened to it. As for the possibility of Radiohead coming around, their new album is coming out this summer, so those bastards better be around here to promote it. This is from Greenplastic.com... Radiohead on their new album: 'I don't think we've ever felt so self assured in the studio. This time no shit hit the fan. And Thom's voice has been incredible. That's the stand out element for me. He's reminded us that he's in a league of his own.' What will the new album sound like? Well, we kinda got a hint of that last Summer when Radiohead toured Portugal and Spain and premiered a lot of new songs. Ed: 'To me, this record feels like the culmination of the best bits of The Bends, OK Computer, Kid A and Amnesiac.' Ed also had this to say: 'Guitars? Yup, there are a few. In fact thereís a bit of everything. Itís sounding really good...' Unconfirmed release dates are: JUNE 10, 2003 - USA AND CANADA"
from justcircles :
let's both go in jeans and a wife-beater, okay? then we'll be at about 33.3% which will still put us right near the mark of the beast once we're together, you know?
from justcircles :
oh, and why don't they invite you? what the hell's wrong with you? for some reason all my friends started getting married about two years ago and I've been in attendance at a steady flow of matrimony since then... hey, wanna come to my wedding?
from mattferrara :
I can't find this info in the FAQ section for some reason & since you have multiple diaries, I'll ask you: do you know if there's a way I can flip back and forth between my diaries without logging in and out all the time?
from justcircles :
how come I have to be mostly naked? and you only have to be 6%? that's fucked up, Scan, you'll see, cause I have the body of a 12-year-old boy
from mattferrara :
And how they just started playing when the sun was setting. I turned to my friend and yelled, "it's Radiohead... you KNOW that did that on purpose!!" Man what a great show. I had a friend working at the beer tent. That's always the best. :)
from mattferrara :
good idea. I'm sure i can find a picture of that. :) So you were at the Suffolk Downs Radiohead show. More evidence that we're actually the same person. I was also there.
from justcircles :
I am, as you know, just a bright-eyed southern-belle who don't know nuthin 'bout no orgies
from justcircles :
I have to see about the Philly thing...I've begun talking to another NYer who is going too, because I don't know about transportation, I also don't know about going to a city for the first time to get hammered with a bunch of people I'm meeting for the first time becaus there's a chance I could end up 09% naked and then God only knows what hell will break loose
from justcircles :
oh, and why the fuck can't you come to NYC?
from justcircles :
I hate that sonofabitch guestbook that doesn't let me sign again and again; I do have good friends in Boston... I should rent a car, right? We'll kick it like mad
from justcircles :
or you could just stop by NYC on your way to that goddam orgy...
from btchelicious :
2 more weeks you demented pervert!
from megdix12 :
thanks for leaving me a note! it made my day. i like your template. it brings back memories of...yesterday when i played with my toys. im a 5 year old in a 19 year olds body. gross. good day!
from justcircles :
you know, two of my closest friends live in Boston...
from sadgreeneye :
Dude, That was best entry ever. Death to cats!! I can't believe they do dogs. sick, sick bastards. Thanks for the glimpse into the cat underworld. Just to think that this is going on in anytown USA makes me sick. Have a good one.
from peteandray :
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED GO TO HELL FILTHY MAN?
from mattferrara :
Think you can come up with a song for Borgnine's cross-dressing zombie to sing, something along the lines called "I was the ugliest person to ever walk the earth" or maybe "Ain't nobody got eyebrows like me?"
from justcircles :
you are incredible: I woke up the soundtrack to The Virgin Suicides yesterday and today, and the opening monologue has been on the tip of my tongue, and I was thinking about going and finding a transcript of it, but now I don't have to. Damn, Scan, you're my best friend.
from peth :
but what if your huge American style penis gets scurvy?
from btchelicious :
You have no idea how much I love smarties.
from btchelicious :
No, I'LL use your soak stick as a knitting needle. We'll knit us some orgams.
from btchelicious :
Oh scan, what are we going to do that crystal is away?
from unknown- :
just another note to tell you just how happy your entries make me...
from gnometits :
i walked home, i walked uptown, i walked home again, then i came here.
from btchelicious :
dude, if you are just going to be diseased when you get here, we are so not having brutal anal sexing.
from peteandray :
You bastard I will fork up you like a bowl of god damn Dinty Moore I am not going to joke even so much about this I AM THE HUMAN RACE
from justcircles :
I'm so in crush with you right now
from justcircles :
dude, Scan, I just "edited" my "entry" and I "linked" to you because I am going to do a "top ten" list tomorrow and if you could "contribute" one or two (I've got a few "ideas" of my own) it'd be fun... for me.
from mattferrara :
I was wondering if those ninja assassins showed up at your door yet. If not, um... haha, I was just kidding, disregard this message.
from peth :
That's mighty troubled, especially 'cause I heard Father McGlinchy is feeling frisky today!
from peth :
we are all troubled teens, no?
from doombilly :
umm, two weeks, on both of those.
from doombilly :
Nope. I don't have a heavy metal hole. My hole is for space age polymers and light metals like aluminum, titanium, etc...
from doombilly :
Whoah! Dude you fucking rock sick like Great WhiteLionSnake!!!! NA NA NA
from lovepuddles :
yay!
from btchelicious :
sorry. "apunklilgirl". whatever.
from btchelicious :
No, I think I am fighting with a bunch of dumb teens from lovepuddles guestbook and also someone called "apumklilgirl". But I'm not sure if that one is a full blown fight.
from btchelicious :
U SO FUNNY!!! I LOV U!! I LOV UR ANLE LOV AND PEAC!!11!!! LOL!!
from peteandray :
i cummed
from mattferrara :
most impressive kung fu. way better than that jeff speikman or whatever the hell he was called. My favorite Mad Magazine quote about Jean-Claude Van Damme: "...is the best kickboxer from Belgium... which is like being the best bullfighter from Alaska."
from minderella :
tell jesus he's full of crap. i never said i wouldn't give him a hand job! HE was the one who always wanted saint peter to jerk him off.
from justcircles :
Don't say a word/ Cause I already heard /what your body's saying to mine, /I'm tired of fast moves /I've got a slow groove /on my mind /I wanna man with a slow hand, /I wanna lover with an easy touch, /I want somebody who will spend some time, /not come and go in a heated rush, /I want somebody who will understand, /when it comes to love /I want a slow hand
from btchelicious :
I have 6 pussies for you to make love to. Think you can handle that?
from mattferrara :
Your murder droids attacked me on the subway platform, but I easily dispatched them with a rolled-up Boston Metro. Your powers are weak old man. You should not have come back. The circle is complete. When last we met I was but a learner, now I am the master...
from lesbianrobot :
does the evil robot army celebrate sexual diversity? is it really bliss?
from sspunchie :
thanks for leaving me a note. about pods of girls pissing in public places entry: seriously I don't know why. if anyone but my bestest girl friend ever asks me to go to the bathroom with her, i say, " go fuck yerself, i got better things to do than hear you pee and watch you look in the mirror for 15 minutes," unless of course we are shit talking, but that is a completely different senario. always keep in mind, which you sem like the kinda fella that has this dialed in: People in general are plain retarded, fuck them.
from mattferrara :
I don't like fighting either... though the other night, Shannon and I were talking about an idea of hers that i really want to get moving on... it involves getting teams of two to spread out throughout the country and stalk celebrities. When the opportunity presents itself, one person runs up and kicks the celebrity in the balls, and at that exact moment, the other person snaps a close-up of the celebrity's face. We want to make a coffee table book, "Celebrities Getting Kicked In The Balls."
from mattferrara :
Last time I was at the Square 1 Mall there were cops there and a squat black guy with a hairnet was mopping up blood off the foodcourt floor. Maybe I was seeing the aftermath of a Scanzilla Kung Fu whup-ass. When you kick ass for a Shaolin Temple, do you throw a grappling hook into a guy's neck and scream, "get over here!" or do you freeze a guy and then hit him with a powerful uppercut?
from mattferrara :
I just wrote "kung fun." haha
from mattferrara :
haha I just saw what you wrote in Shannon's guestbook. I'm officially calling you out. Kung Fun fight in the parking lot of the Square One Mall. :D
from wigmo :
i found your diary through a banner, and since i've been getting all kinds of compliments today (...weird...) i decided to spread the love and tell you that you're hot.
from btchelicious :
SUCK MY BALLS!
from justcircles :
do you actually read my entries?
from wonderchai :
ergh. if there is an outside world... i'm not so sure I want to be in it. ;)
from zerom3ph :
ye gods..... you just gave me the most awful imagery. it involved a bottle with a rubber glove on it, going down the assembly line. i hate you milkman dan.
from justcircles :
aw, now I fixed the guestbook; that's the fuck what I'm talk about
from triple0x :
you're my hero! i love you.. keep up the amazing gamer work.. i envy your table top game collection..
from justcircles :
damn me to hell, Scan, I done gone and fucked up your guestbook. Sorry dude. I'll do it right next time.
from domifc :
thanks for the laverne & shirley "episode." made me laugh hysterically!
from anniesf :
wowderful..your diary's so great !
from doombilly :
omg, that is great. Now do a Mary Tyler Moore/Rhoda/Phyliss one. Hyuk.
from mattferrara :
thanks. Pac Man is at this very moment eating pussy in my diary. :) I've always wanted to say that.
from justcircles :
I have four skull-and-crossbone t-shirts
from orange-robot :
Beep. Ok. I fear you no longer.
from imnotakiller :
so how does that pussy taste..i hear you've been eatin it.
from polarbear87 :
seriously insane. i'm putting ur diary in my favorite list thingy.
from erz :
mucles! I forgot all about those. Thanx for the memories, seriously, I almost cried.
from mattferrara :
by the way, have fun in canananaddanandanda
from mattferrara :
Thanks for the props/link. But it wasn't my mom who said I french kissed the best. It was my grandma.
from saiyanstar :
Ha! I found your banner :)
from tenaciousnat :
lar lar u get a notey fingi from me jus cuz u like jeff buckley how kewl?? yuh i fort so 2! Take care xXx Nat... kewl robots
from btchelicious :
precious, precious beer...which has made my headache worse...shit.
from kstarr :
WHOLY ROBOTS.
from yburuby :
your diary shot me with a laser beam.
from btchelicious :
Dude, you are a GOOBER!
from mattferrara :
ooops i'm retarded
from mattferrara :
<IMG SRC = "http://mattferrara.diaryland.com/images/squirrel.jpg" border = 0>
from btchelicious :
ARe we all OK? I love you guys....
from scanzilla :
Reminder for tomorrows entry: http://mattferrara.diaryland.com/images/muscle2.gif baby muscle man http://mattferrara.diaryland.com/images/muscle4.jpg Muscle man board game http://mattferrara.diaryland.com/images/muscle5.jpg Caped muscle man http://mattferrara.diaryland.com/images/muscle6.gif Wolf man http://mattferrara.diaryland.com/images/muscle1.jpg Viking muscle man http://mattferrara.diaryland.com/images/muscle3.jpg Tube of muscle men
from hapithoughts :
is your aol broked?
from hapithoughts :
ummm, what?
from hapithoughts :
wait... now i can't tell if this is even jokes or not. not fun, not fun.
from hapithoughts :
hehehhehe!!! dooood!!!!!
from btchelicious :
I so jsut stole her! It happen just this second now! WE ARE IN LOEV, FUCKER!
from hapithoughts :
?
from hapithoughts :
:(
from mattferrara :
Canine Home Protection System. Robot dogs rule!
from mattferrara :
Ah, I remember those. Quick, what did C.H.U.D. stand for? :)
from maddypunk :
By the way, is that an actual tattoo of Pac Man, or a press on?
from maddypunk :
Why thank you, but it sadly is not me. It is Brody from The Distillers. But yeah, that picture makes most of my readers feel hyped up on acid so my misson here is complete.
from mattferrara :
Leon Neon? That sounds faintly familiar but for some reason all that I picture in my head is Eddie Murphy as Velvet Jones.
from btchelicious :
I like sushi too! My croth smells like wasabi!
from porktornado :
True. it looks to me like hapithoughts is about to molest you in a most unnatural way. I also find that my nonstandard outlook and multifaceted skillset is a bit of a turn on to the fairer sex. Lucky us. Of course it doesn't hurt that we are both undeniably good looking tubs of sex...
from mattferrara :
Yep! That was me! :) By the way, i love the Madball entry. I completely forgot about those things. Remember M.U.S.C.L.E.?
from btchelicious :
what do you need my darling? I am busy stealing your girlfriend.
from justcircles :
oh, Scan, you speak to that tingle in my spine... will you be my two-timer? my back-door man? wanna creep? if you wont tell hapithoughts I won't tell blankwave... (Oh, and you're mom tells everybody that they're the best kisser, by the way.) I bet your cigarettes get all wet and nasty, don't they? Like a mule eating an apple. I'd kiss you like a praying-mantice eats her mate. :) yer crude, dood
from saiyanstar :
Hi again :) Actually I found your page while looking at someone's guestbook. It was a picturee oof your wet cat and it was hilarious so I thought that I would check out your site. :) It does take a little while for those banners to show up. It took a while for mine when I first got jine
from saiyanstar :
OMG,, I love your diary! I'm g;ad I found it.
from hapithoughts :
i remember jelly shoes!!! hahahha! i used to love those fucking things. fucking fuck. shit piss fucking fucking shit bitch whore. i have no idea what my fingers just did there... oh, it's time for a smoke. remember how i love you and missed you and couldn't wait to smother you with kisses? TWO DAYS!!!!
from unknown- :
Awww, your diary makes me so happy! Evil and deviant at the same time as being utterly amusing, its really the robots that make me keep reading.
from triple0x :
if i knew you, i would hug you. you are the coolest person i have ever [kind of] met. i've met cool people, but i've never [kind of] met anyone nearly as cool as you. keep up the cool work, cool kid.
from orange-robot :
Beep. Holy Mother Robot of Crap! You are dangerous. I will keep my photoelectric eye on you. So help my servos, I will.
from mattferrara :
i meant to tell you, i love your Gary Coleman interview. "num num pipe." hahaha.
from justcircles :
that is cooler than damnit, Scan, and without question the baddest Valentine I ever saw. You are such an anti-drug! Happy VD to you too (I do yoga to Loveless. Wake up to Loveless)
from mattferrara :
Homer: "Trying is the first step towards failure."
from mattferrara :
Everything's coming up Milhouse!
from mattferrara :
I wonder what Nuno Betancourt is up to these days? Is it too much to hope he's laying in a puddle of his own shit in an Atlanta bus station bathroom giving handjobs to Ray Charles for coke money? I don't think so. Everyone needs to hope for something.
from mattferrara :
I just mentioned you in my latest entry about Van Halen... then checked my link to make sure it worked and cracked up all over again at the paint brush thru Cousin Rick's head. Anyway I'm a sagitariasshole. i like the simple things in life, hearing about celebrities who die or get arrested, watching perfect strangers slip on icy sidewalks, and training pet mice to act out Tim Roth's death scene in Resevoir Dogs.
from mattferrara :
i'm 26, by the way. reagan getting shot was one of my earliest happy memories.
from mattferrara :
i've never smoked opium with David Lee Roth either, but everytime I DO smoke opium he shows up, tapping at my window screaming "spare change for hair plugs spare change for hair plugs!" And then I sick the dogs on him.
from mattferrara :
i want to be a proctologist fashion designer and name my clothing line Tommy Chillfinger.
from sadgreeneye :
Dude, You're wierd. I mean, that's cool though. right? You did make me laugh.
from btchelicious :
Where is my guestbook love? ARe you OK?
from mattferrara :
The paint thinner doesn't lie. I AM Jimmy Page.
from mattferrara :
Small world. I've known "beenpolar" for years.
from mattferrara :
Hahaha that's great. You live in Saugus? I lived in Malden for 12 years and now I have a place in Melrose. I play guitar and bass. What's your band's name? Let me know when you play a show, I'll come see ya!
from mattferrara :
Yeah, pretty gut-wrenching and overall unpleasant, but you do just give up after awhile. stubborn as I am, it took me too long, but better late than never. wrestled my jules verne octopus, cut off all grappling appendages, and am now swimming for the surface. Hey! you're a fellow Mass-hole?!? cool.
from borrowmymind :
dot dot dot i love youuuu ! oh shit, wait, no, I meant *click*
from lintpickle :
Gosh, you're pretty.
from cant-escape :
rowr... all I can say to you is rowr... oh, and growl..
from justcircles :
I have learned to hate dates becuase they always end up being lopsided (one person liking the other more), and I couldn't agree with you more that you just want to match. This is why I fall in love with my friends ("dude, Michaela, you're like, one of the dudes, though..."). I've decided to stop looking for love, though, and just wait for it. Fuck dating. I'll go on a date the next time I have a boyfriend. Until then, let's just all kick it, shall we?
from mattferrara :
thanks. not only for the note you left, but for getting me to laugh out loud at my cramped little work desk... your diary is so funny...
from amblus :
Honestly, I think my favorite part of your diary is where you discuss which shoes to wear with your outfit every morning. Pumps or slingbacks? Who can decide?
from amblus :
Iciosonic progulting transmogifier? Transmogify this! Or, uh, don't.
from not-it :
fabulous.
from finepickle :
thank you. my pickle works out.
from plaguegirl :
So, is that pre-Parkinson's Michael J. Fox, or post-Parkinson's? Post-Parkinson's sounds kinda' hot. You know, the tremors and all.
from plaguegirl :
I like horribly disturbing secrets. Do tell.
from hapithoughts :
I LOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU
from penmaster :
gary coleman was smoking on a unicorn. no really.
from hu-man :
kidzilla. . . wow. i love you. *eats yr poo*
from uberfemme :
I thought your afterschool special was titilatingly educational. I see now that smoking is not only wrong, but dangerous. In addition, I've vowed I'll never wack-it to a sexy ladies lighter again.
from btchelicious :
Hi.
from ikebadu :
i want my $2!!!
from porktornado :
Second sentence edited to read: "you have inspired me in a way that only eating a kitten in the shower or humping a dead hooker while taking a shit has done before" -Pork
from porktornado :
I'm glad to know that I am not the only freakishly ugly person who was blessed with superhuman verbal skillz. You have inspired me in a that only eating a popsicle in the shower or drinking a beer whilst taking a shit could do before.
from roboticamour :
I'm in.
from btchelicious :
I am naked under my clothes.
from btchelicious :
What? Oh, hello.
from roboticamour :
Dental plan, too?
from mollyx :
Your guestbook will feel pain for not allowing me to post this: "I am not amusing today so I will just say yay. Yay. And if we're going to make babies, I need your sperm. Cuz this sure as hell won't be no immaculate conception." Amazing how I can remember that and yet manage to forget how to spell my middle name.
from roboticamour :
All the time. Quite intensively, too.
from ms-m :
I love that you threaten to unleash the robotic hounds of hell on all of DLand that have as yet to join your army...and sign it Love Dan. Awwwww. That's sweet!
from btchelicious :
Go tell dickcheese how perfect my ass is.
from btchelicious :
So, what's on the menu for today.
from catie-dids :
I'm so glad I could make your genitals feel tingly. That's what I'm here for, you know.
from vyv-xx :
Those E's must DIE!!!
from vyv-xx :
Unlink you? I did no such thing. You're right under satch, just how you like it. I think something's fucked up with the server. The thing says that you updated 12068 days ago. But you can suck my dick anyway, stank-ass bitch... AND gimmee those sandwiches.
from vyv-xx :
Ah, yes... I can see the end of a crossbone peeking out from under your gangland shit. And the stocking is like the kind that one would hang from the fireplace mantle? Grraaaahhhl.... That would go soooo perfectly with the dead fetus tree ornaments that I made.
from cindie-loo :
woow..i have been at work all day so my "hell no" is a little late. i dont want to have to sick my evil barbie troop on your ass...keep writing..you rock.
from supermanfan :
Don't even think about it. What does it take? notes for every entry? I laugh my ass off every time. I read yours religously! It's different and it's entertaining. I had no idea you thought no one was reading. Stay.
from lintpickle :
Good Hossefeffer, you can't leave me! Here's one vote to stay. I read you everyday. I often leave you wee messages too. You make me smile, you have a similar sense of humour, and I love that you still play with toys. It rocks. YOU rock. GUSH GUSH GUSH GUSH. I want to have pacmanbabies with you! (I tried to sign your guestbook but it got all snakey and wouldn't work) WRITE.
from hapithoughts :
yes, he is the weirdo. and he did kill that white hooker while i was in boston... see, he listens to you bitchy, you have a good effect on him.
from btchelicious :
You should KILL WHITEY too.
from btchelicious :
no, you are the WEIRDO!
from btchelicious :
Oh, I get it. You guys played computer games and had sex at the same time? Or you had sex while pretending to be computer game villians? You guys are SICK!
from hapithoughts :
i love you my gorgeous soxy fox. time to dieeeeee. hehhe.. heh... diablo is getting the best of me. NO LEVEL REFERNECES, I WILL FANTASIZE ABOUT PLAYING ALL DAY NOW!!! maybe thats what we should do tonight. baldur's might work, maybe it was just a glitch. frecklessssssssssss = loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee
from btchelicious :
soxy...
from btchelicious :
I would fuck 23 18-year old guys.
from ms-m :
Dude, that's a prison sentence waiting to happen!
from btchelicious :
EEWWW!! YOu oozed!
from poettheninja :
scanzilla dessimates my world. keep it up, trick.
from kill-soma :
im not a favourite anymore either? *gasps* i thought you were my unicorn bud! :'(
from kill-soma :
WHAT'S WITH THE NO MORE NOTE ACTION HAPPENING?! am i THAT boring to you? am i THAT unimportant?! im so hurt... i dont know if things shall ever be the same... im a wreck now cos of you... excuse me while i listen to emo,cry and cut my wrists, dah-ling
from rockonbytch :
sorry for your tradgedies.howd you hear about my diary?
from solarlab :
one of my robots has a short and he keeps grabbing my ass. can you send me some new wires? thanks.
from d-rex17 :
someone stole my bathtub.
from bythewayside :
I really think it's in my best interest if I went out with someone more popular.
from btchelicious :
I look at your photo pages and I can't help but think 2 things: 1) Gee, he's vain. 2) Why have I been clipped out of that picture? Damn you Crystal!
from drkitten :
thanks
from btchelicious :
I <3 sneaky and deviant. Are you being sneaky and deviant right now? What time of day are you usually sneaky and deviant? What kind of sneaky and deviant are we talking about? Can I be sneaky and deviant with you?
from btchelicious :
Who is helping you slack off if she is on the bus?
from btchelicious :
Where is your essay contest entry? HUH?
from btchelicious :
I can see what a sweet scene this is going to be. You and her throwing up on each other as soon as she steps off the bus. Her peeing her pants, you seizing on the ground....
from peth :
i need someone to rub my feverish forehead.
from peth :
i need someone to discard my sweater.
from radicalplop :
a triscuit is a biscuit?
from musicnut :
I got my fibbly foos confused with my nipply noos. I don't know how I'm gonna get the kids back into the dish washer.
from jennyjones69 :
ummmm....sucks to be you. and ah, next time let's try "one crazy summer". okay then.
from patw-21 :
hi there, glad you like the mushrooms
from bossygurl :
I think i'v just caught on to something this is pure snow! do you know what the street value of this mountain is?
from nimrod86 :
hey kid, your book on how to pick up trashy women came today. what's a little boy like you doing with big boy smut like this? ha!
from deez-nuts :
what are you talking about?
from thisisjohn :
Ho man! I love Genesis! This is too good to be true. Count me in. Down with the humans and their archaic pretensious "society"!
from what--if :
There is always another what if. The penguins were really secret CIA agents in the new war on terrorism. They were our only hope!
from thisisjohn :
Hmm. Join a robot army? I dont know. Do your plans include that of taking over the world? Do you religiously watch terminator 2 and cheer for the cyborgs? Perhaps I shall join. I leave that up to your discretion.
from ciaramyst :
Strange to know your grandma drops acid. I wonder what those trips are like? I wonder if she ever rolled a bit?
from thisisjohn :
When I was one and a half, I ate a black widow. But I didnt die. Because I am also a robot. Nobody knows that about me. Brrr. Eerrp. ziip.
from thisisjohn :
i like to look at the people in the pictures. they are evil robots.
from btchelicious :
Baby, I wanna open up your liquor cabinet and pour me a stiff one
from hapithoughts :
what the fuck is that? weeeeeeeeooooowd. baby, you're the bestestttttttttttt. also, i'm paranoid. hmmmm. i just came to say that i hate whitey and especially the french :)
from hapithoughts :
jesus, look at all these people all over you. hellooooooo, people, this is my notes page, alright? pffffffff. hehe. also, i love your feet, babe. christian says we are going to burger king for supper, i say we shoudl go to arby's. your vote? love love love love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu sexyyyyyyyyyy hotness
from musicnut :
Rrrrock gitters an' evil trolls consume my room. Godzilla - God + scan = scanzilla.
from dcalien :
I really like reading your diary.
from habbit :
whats up with the diaryland porno project? im going to be in milan for jan, but feb is open. i'll have my agent call your agent. vyvxx should play the lead, and we better get paid union or else!!!!!
from pirategirl :
*squirt* Damn! My pants just got dry! *slurp* mmmm... you taste like SEXY!!!
from pirategirl :
Lick my cheek?! SEXY! Cover me in your sloppiness any way you want! I LOVE IT! I'll be sure to return the favor.
from musicnut :
Acid gnomes and machine gun weilding elves have taken the village. Tell the mayor to put some more hot dogs on the grill. Chicken cow.
from neangel :
lick me baby! that can't hurt anybody! just don't get causght by the boss man.
from neangel :
Oh My Oh Mi you know just what to say to turn a girl on... you won't last a year!
from neangel :
Ooh why thank you! maybe we can take turns doin that sometime! lol
from neangel :
I do but only in certain entries -http://neangel.diaryland.com/corpdrummer.html That is an old one, I will be adding new ones soon!
from neangel :
Well good luck on your resolution! You're cute & a big dork... dork's are cute, you can always get tail next year... lol
from not-it :
happy 2003! i'm on my way to boston to change you resolution.
from btchelicious :
I have some delicate cakes in my oven for you. I suggest you get out your spatula and oven mitts.
from btchelicious :
How do you have time to read so many diaries?
from ciaramyst :
Seems like you have Pac-Man fever!
from kill-soma :
hello there mine lobster jah(german accent yo) long time no hear...how are your unicorns? no sexual pun intended
from dcalien :
You are such a trip. Your notes in vyvs' diary are as funny as your entries.
from btchelicious :
Refinance your penis pump...
from btchelicious :
I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.
from habbit :
In 1932 I was in the 1st 'talkie' porn film entitled 'Jimmy and the Eager Beaver', later I would perform with a touring show called 'Man Hams' where I showed off my prowess to the nouveau rich in Chigaco, NY, Topeka, and Walla Walla. I would later side-step into radio, where I did the first broadcast of an orgasm. In the 70's and 80's my career was marred by an addiction to model airplane glue and cocaine. But now I'm clean, sober, and live in Palm Springs where I can maintain my deep-red all over body tan. I am also part of an international study on male sex drugs can pump along next to any of the current whippersnappers. You'll see me in films released through Vivid as "Hulk Hoagie".
from btchelicious :
What a coincidence. My hsuband says those things to me all the time during the sexing.
from btchelicious :
go tell hapithoughts how easy I am after a couple of beers.
from hapithoughts :
okay, you go slap around the hoes while i stay here and masturbate. oh, bitchy's hubby is going to play the part of the ass licker now, i am going to write the corpse out of the script. any line suggestions for the ass licker?
from vyv-xx :
Can habbit be in the flick as well? He scratches, so he's got really agile fingers. He and I have been having private training sessions, too, and we've developed a good working relationship. He can bring in some bdsm to spice it up a little.
from hapithoughts :
it's really hard managing all these snooty actress types. maybe what we need is a thug to keep them in line?
from btchelicious :
my jaw hurts.
from btchelicious :
Oh, yes, please, girl-on-on girl with me and vyv and crystal!
from vyv-xx :
I'm gonna get to do some girl-on-girl action with bitchy, right? I want to wear her sticky love glove.
from btchelicious :
Cool! We get benefits too?!
from vyv-xx :
Aw, dude, excellent. I am so stoked. I gotta go get a high colonic and pack my cooch with ice now to prepare. And my husband gives the best Dirty Sanchez ever, so you won't be disappointed in his performance.
from btchelicious :
He can be more then just a corpse. He's ripped...
from btchelicious :
chew chew chew
from btchelicious :
dude, I am not touching pitty-sing.
from hapithoughts :
okay, yes, when should the training session be? with all of our private sessions lately i'll have to really squeeze my schedule to fit it in. let's meet to discuss it while partaking in a quick tit fuck. let's say, the broom closet in half an hour?
from btchelicious :
I can't wait to be in your movie. How much are you paying, anyway?
from btchelicious :
Oh, scan, usually I can drink anyone under tha table but those 2 beers at lunch are wiping me out. catch me...
from hapithoughts :
see, if we do it that way, we're going to have to change the angle from above the actor a's head to behind actor b's ass. i liek that line better, but i think that the religious overtones are too much. perhaps we can use that in the second feature? maybe the line should be " if i even think about baby jesus right now i'll..." that's way less overtoney i think. and quit leaving heavy breathing on my work voice mail as sample sounds, my secretary is getting hot and bothered.
from vyv-xx :
If by "at your screen test" you mean your apartment, and if by "stunt cock" you mean yours, then I'll be there at 8.
from hapithoughts :
i think that darning socks is sexy, i might work that into the script. that reminds me - scan, didnt you say that you would send me a picture of you putting yarn in your cockhole? i was expecting sexy pics...
from vyv-xx :
I've got a video from yesterday that I could send in. But it's not of me making moans riding a cock. It's me taking it in the ass with a Sonicare toothbrush whilst darning argyle socks. Is that good enough?
from hapithoughts :
today i am thinking bad things, you are not helping me. well, you are, but not in a good way. or wait, it is in a good way, btu a bad way. hmmm. pacman needs to eat my cherries.
from vyv-xx :
Nooooooo... you are smooth and SHINY. I'd slip right off.
from vyv-xx :
Your complete lack of body hair exemplifies how evil you really are. Shiny, shiny, shiny.
from btchelicious :
P.S. Nice Obliques
from btchelicious :
I just looked as all your sick, but completely adorable pictures.
from cant-escape :
Why would you love my layout, you crazy crazy boy?
from kbaa :
the pacman suits you. i find this odd because cartoon characters usually look crappy on people.the stars...celtic stars (otherwise known as "emo stars") i assmue? i like those.
from kbaa :
nope, no offending. i just always erase everyones notes. what does the tatoo on your wrist say? I cant make it out in the picture. :)
from kill-soma :
god those unicorns. im burnt out. thankfully you dont learn much in school before christmas. my friends think im permafried. i hope to hell not. i wanna go university eventually. oh well, for now ill just smoke reefers and drink lots.that oughtta smarten me up . wooot, i must find a pic then ill send it
from supermanfan :
Hey sorry it took so long but I added you to my favourites. I'll post something to direct some traffic to ya. This shit is so funny, thanks.
from kbaa :
sorry if im bugging you
from kbaa :
me too!! is it too white?
from kbaa :
i like your layout a lot.
from kbaa :
:)
from unbornlove :
seeing as tho you love notes, i figured i'd leave you one. first off, hey. my name is natalie. i think the whole ghostbusters thing you did was great. secondly i LOVE yr layout. well, mostly because i have a huge boner for pacman. i can play that game for hours on end. its sad really. anyways i'll shut up now. later.
from btchelicious :
For some reason I can not spell correctly in your notes.
from btchelicious :
Eevrbody loved hot tub action. The next time you are in jersey, get a hotel room with a hot tub.
from cuillin :
that's just your, um, EARS pounding.
from kbaa :
hey
from kill-soma :
hi hi. opium eyed and gauged moth he walked a barren trail. he believe everything good had died before he was named. you know, im very stoned. i cant think or spell. im glad i have a lover like you [crickets chirp] and yeah, you have pretty tattoos. sayyy could i join your evil army me love you long time then. youll greed it love, soma
from genghis-jon :
Sounds great! Now all I need is that exact replica of the Mr T dildo back from you're mom, and we're ready to party! Can't wait to see you in your costume. Hey, what's a "Fudge" Pac-Man anyways?
from btchelicious :
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
from btchelicious :
that was supposed to say lick your tattoos. heh.
from btchelicious :
everybody's talkin' 'bout yer tattoos. Next time you come to jersey I will like yours and satch's tattoos. It will take me much longer to like satch's....Now I go to the gym.
from dcalien :
There is something fishy about your last entry.
from kittenclaws :
You better watch yourself. We Marylanders have nothing to rally around, as our sports teams suck and Homicide: Life on the Streets was cancelled. A few John Waters movies are harldy enough to pacify the masses. Discontent is rising. Billy Bass is all we have left....
from videogirl :
thanx you, you're note made my day, and i like you're blog, its pretty ^_^. I can't believe you got a pac man tattoo, thats like one of the coolest things i seen in a while.
from iona :
you're so sweet...you're a wonderful writer I find very interesting..& your tattoos too.
from d-rex17 :
two years ago my grandparents bought me a deluxe talking battleship (TM) game, which went lovely with the gram of crack from my lesbian aunt. everyone's got one.
from britneypink :
hey, love the robots and your humor makes me smile too.
from btchelicious :
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!
from btchelicious :
You guys are so making me cry with your secrets.
from btchelicious :
I mean a plaster mold of your thingy.
from btchelicious :
A picture of your nethers? A plater mold of your meat and potatoes? What?!?
from btchelicious :
OHMIGOD!!! YOU CUT OFF YOUR GENITALS AND SENT THEM TO HAPITHOUGHTS??!!?? sick.
from hapithoughts :
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, you did not!!! hmph! but yeah, i'll stay away from him, but only to get a better view of you two. hehehhe. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
from scanzilla :
I like ferrets in the spingtime.
from btchelicious :
Full frontal nudity?? If ya seen one snatch, ya seen 'em all...
from phishhead :
so, i think on christmas eve im going to gather all the family 'round the tree, and tell a story. this is a great christmas story written by, you, scanzilla. the men, women, and children of all ages will be sure to enjoy the grinch does who-ville story. then we will all do 666 hits of acid.
from floodtide :
Hey - thanks for your note, and for visiting my diary. Yours is hilarious; I'll be back! Love, Flood.
from dreamyautumn :
Hiya! All was well until I told Jesus you were dead and he should stop looking. I think he knew I was lying. Hey, I tried. :o) I hope all is well with you. BB, ~Shann
from hu-man :
CARPEL TUNNEL! YEAST INFECTION!! iím so happy u agreed with my sex sux manifesto!! will write you more but i havenít slept in 3 days. *cries* oh well iím going back to stair at the wall for hours! WEEEE! itís been breathing all day! *suckels yr nipples of all their goodness*
from shithot :
Holy shit! i wish I had read your comment earlier. I got home and no one was here (so i thought) and of course I went downstairs to check the laundry and BAM! Dude with an axe. Come over. Then I won't be scared.
from sukkmydikk :
it appears that you are angling for a rimjob
from clauren :
HEy thanks for my note in my guestbook. I appreciate it. I love kittens....The cat that is on my diary is my late cat Mitten who passed away this past month. I love your diary. It rocks...........And anybody that puts down Willy Wonka is my hero....
from dcalien :
How could I not love an alienzilla?
from vyv-xx :
You two make me vomit with awww...
from hapithoughts :
okay, i won't. promise.
from hapithoughts :
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, thank you. i'm hugging you right now, can't you tell? one of those big ones where im right under your chin.
from hapithoughts :
LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE LOVE love Love lOVE all for you
from hu-man :
btw. . . YOU MUST GO HERE!: http://www.explodingdog.com/dumbpictures/ihatehumans.gif and here: http://www.explodingdog.com/dumbpict51/iwasarob.gif and here: http://www.explodingdog.com/dumbpict51/suckstobeyou.gif
from hu-man :
Christ on a lesbian pony eating steamed vegtable dubplings! You have the Low Christmas Album! *bakes you a cake*
from pitty-sing :
sometimes your entries make me want to touch myself. I would say this Grinch entry would be one a those entries. Entry, aha!
from marn :
*Sigh*. Well, I'll always remember the good times.
from marn :
*snort*. Again, more crazy talk.
from marn :
Now that's just plain crazy talk, eh.
from d-rex17 :
and then Burl Ives can reveal his secret Abercrombie/Rudolph gay porn story... I need your e-mail in order to send a picture and officially enlist.
from monkiebob :
I love the abundance of ninjas, robots, and 80's pop culture on your site. monkies would make the site rock even more. go robot army! -allison
from hapithoughts :
i'm bored..
from hapithoughts :
BWAHHAHHAHHAHAH!!!!
from hapithoughts :
you're so dead when i get to boston
from hapithoughts :
hot hot scan meat... mmmm.. fricasseeeeeee meeeee babieeeeeeee (yeah, it just looked better with the "e"'s)
from hu-man :
HUZZA!
from hapithoughts :
ummm, hu-man... i'm the only one making out with scan today. i get wednesdays and vyv gets mondays, and peth and addie and bitchy get dibs on the other days... so that leaves tow days... and he needs on of rest.. so yeah, you can make out with him tomorrow, maybe.
from hu-man :
Distract yr meaty loins from the quest to purge the many coital fires that lurk below my belt!!. . . my nipples are tender from yr lovin! you listen to good tunes! lets make out to modest mouse!
from d-rex17 :
I am trying to find a digital camera or a scanner so that I may soon join the ranks... I went to church and wore a hat to prevent Jesus' zombie hordes from eating my brain and then congregating around the pipe organ for a soulfull rendition of "Swing Low Sweet Chariot", or "His Eye is on the Sparrow". I escaped and only had to do penance at the Bazaar. My condolences for the Bigfoot incident.
from hapithoughts :
laisse moi te toucher.... mmmmm... leves (that's the word i couldn't remember - lips... remmeber it now)
from vyv-xx :
Glitter sparklies bleed on me, digesting the clotted scabs.
from hapithoughts :
what a coincidence, mine want to meet you, too! wow! i would love to meet your boys ;)
from hapithoughts :
awwwww, youuuuuu. yeah, i agree. COPIOUS!!! and i'm all filled with love for you. in fact, i'm BLOATED with it. ROCK!
from vyv-xx :
Moo-cows sliced in sections, the putrid infection.
from hapithoughts :
mannnnn... yeah, and we can't use gbookies and we deleted out tagboards, although we cooooould get those back if we wanted to... it's okayyyy :) i have spare accounts for when one fucks with me. misssssssss youuuuuuuu
from vyv-xx :
Fluffy grey kittens consuming feces of the dying.
from vyv-xx :
Chopped up children bathing in blood.
from solarlab :
fuck yeah.
from cuillin :
"Awww shiiit! If I knew it was gonna be this kind of party, I would have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes." WHAT IS THAT FROM! WHAT IS THAT FROM!!! I'm killing myself trying to remember!! All I recall is that the first time I heard it I died laughing. Oh my god.
from supermanfan :
AHH HAH HAH HAH HAH, This shit is funny. I'm adding you to favourites, thanks for the note
from monkiebob :
oh i almost forgot. another cool site to check out is www.homestarrunner.com , it's a really funny cartoon site. later and robots rock! -Allison
from lintpickle :
Wow, I've just realized how many homoerotic GI Joe character names there are! Tunnel Rat, Wild Bill, Torpedo, Grunt, Beach Head...the list goes on.
from lintpickle :
And don't forget Snow Job...
from lintpickle :
Hey D-Rex, I'm 26 and The last Unicorn STILL makes me cry, how SAD is THAT! You know, DanScanGuy I always knew that there was something up with GI and his Joes...All the little fischer price blondie dolls in the world and they still weren't happy. Now I understand. I'm Sorry Ace, I'm sorry Bazooka, I shoulda know that Airtight and Deep Six were something more that just tough guy names...The opressor has admitted her faults. It's time to accept the truth.
from d-rex17 :
I've realized that my only desire now is to have my entire body reconstructed with aluminum plates so that I may serve in your robot army. And The Last Unicorn was sad GOD when I was wee.
from girlgenie :
scanZILLA. i like that a lot. xo.bee
from d-rex17 :
you are amazing super. I feel like we share the same first name, or the same girly pants.
from tapestrygirl :
your comment about me in your profile CRACKS me up. mostly cause i wish i had some ninja stealth capabilities. alas. only on the internet. whats good to do around here on new years eve?
from cindie-loo :
http://www.homepromotions.net/Tehkan/mamesong.swf ask no questions...just check it out. trust me.
from sunksunk :
yipee! now i don't have to send in an application... but are you sure 'bout this? i think that many others should be chosen over me...
from iheartsleep :
ripping it up ninja styyyleees! you just made me laugh out looooud
from vyv-xx :
Mmm...right in the middle of a juicy mr. sparkles & shor-t sammich. Thank you, baby.
from sunksunk :
its november and its sunny outside. you bosten people are stealing my cold. where are the beautiful overcast clouds?! and the people wandering around with sweaters as there usually are?! yesterday my sister wore shorts. shorts! in arcata! you easterners! i'm not happy with the change of weather! you and your army, give it back! i'll sick anders on you!
from mr-sparkles :
It is a pleasure to serve in your army oh great leader. Maybe one day I will humbly get pictures of me on grrl's panties too (for that is the closest I will ever get to them. *sob*)
from nudeplatypus :
So, what kind of porn do cats like?
from not-it :
you rock my socks clean off! you know, if i were a minor, and we were found kickin it with my socks off, if could be considered statutory rape in some states? but, i'm 21 in 9 days, so, f the socks baby!
from mr-sparkles :
http://mr-sparkles.diaryland.com/images/apicofmyself2.jpg
from itzie :
Thanks for signing my guestbook even though you chortled evilly at me. I was just talking to someone about Captn Crunch yesterday - how it shredded the roof of your mouth with its sharp edges. Yet, so many of us continued to eat it anyway.
from dianabee :
more like DORKzilla! ha ha ha!... HA! Just kinding- you rigity rock!
from not-it :
you are the hottest mad scientist ever! i'd still do you in alf form...if that was at all humanly/alienly possible. hey, i'm a licensed cometologist, i can wax your bikini line 'n ass for you. but i'm only licensed in California...
from blindsten :
Aah! Jem and the Holograms! Brilliant! I have those dolls somewhere... Aah, the good old days.
from not-it :
dating sucks ass. i'm not doing it right i'm convinced. everyone else is having fun. i'll join your club, and if we get married the club could live on! save me from not-so-slick rick.
from vyv-xx :
Theusz Hamtaahk.
from not-it :
there was nothing more in life that i wanted than to be part of Jem's rival band the Misfits. a great deal of my taste today is my subconcious recollection of Gem. spandex in layers, big colored hair, crazy belts and wicked earings...
from ohio21boy :
I was just singing the JEM theme song about a week ago... If I were you I would've joined Jem's rival band, The Misfits. Man, I think I remember too much of this show...
from cindie-loo :
oh my gosh..what the heck brought "JEM" into your mind. now i have to look for that suitcase full of barbie dolls under my bed and pull out the jem doll. she has a button on her back and when you click it to the on position, her earrings flash like pink strobe lights!
from vyv-xx :
MAGMA!!!
from squirrelx :
Bless your heart for givin' me external validation on my banners! I really appreciate that, especially comin' from somebody with your aesthetic sensibilities. As for the holy jackholes who've been messin' up my porch, I agree with you entirely. With folks like that on His side, Christ doesn't need enemies. Best, Xtine / Squirrel X
from cuntgirl :
wait till you see the superhero costume I want to make to go with it!! Beverly , MA at $900 a month. that sucks hairy unwashed ass. I think we've had the same monetary guardian angel asleep on the job. let's sell ourselves to science
from kittyspy :
I'm busy, but good! Thanks for signing my g-book! I hope you find a roommate/new place soon, $900 a month sucks! xoxoxoxo davi p.s. that Ronald McDonald is scary!
from vyv-xx :
You betta watch the fuck out, my man, 'cuz anything you gives up, you gonna just replace wit' sumfin' else...
from not-it :
yes these $ troubles are troubling. 9 for a one bedroom huh? sounds like the CA bayarea. my neighbors just moved out...its a sick complex...
from vyv-xx :
Oh shit. Black Adder. I watched several series of it a few years ago. Miranda Richardson was 'aight in that joint, too. Hey, hunny-bunny, you best stop leaving so many notes to me. All your 43,823 other hoes gonna cut me.
from steve-austin :
I feel so totally out of control by how fucking sick you are on heavy metal guitars Dan! I'm raising my fists to the sky just thinking about it! Sick!
from vyv-xx :
All this talk about cocks is making me hungry. Breakfast time.
from vyv-xx :
I'm married, dude. You're my boyfriend. And why the fuck are you picturing his penis?
from vyv-xx :
Hmm. I seem to be creating ALL kinds of confusion this fine morning. I'm guessing Loo's going to send you a Lego version of the photo I sent you. You can use that one to teach scanzilla jr. a lesson and still have the other one for the drugs.
from cindie-loo :
because we are all electroniacs...vyv's picture is not yet in my possession as im guessing there was some wacky d-land thing going on. however, upon her orders, i shall deliver. if only all things were that easy to get huh?
from kstarr :
DESTROY TOKYO DESTROY DISTROY MAL;FUNCTION MALFFUNCTION/11!
from vyv-xx :
Hey, scansilly, wanna see a sexy photo of me? Cindie-loo's got it. I suggest you harrass her as much as possible until she gives it to you. Bye for now, you frighteningly large-cocked doer of evil.
from hapithoughts :
so bored at work now... dammit :) ehhehe.
from plasticandy :
haha....john cusak explaining crap. you rock.
from o1hitcharlie :
Who's them no sense of humor having bitches signing your notes. You want I should light them up?
from bitchticket :
You eva get yo suck pipe drained out by Madonna? I bet you have you crazy motherfucker. Mad props to your soak pipe!
from amberlou :
hey mister, can you please stop emailing mt friends and being rude to them, because if not i might have to start being mean, and you dont want to see me mean mister!!!!!!
from hapithoughts :
duuuude, it's all nutty up in here. AH FUCK, i was eating my lip skin and now my lip is BLEEDING. and pffffffffff, i was obviously the best addition to the army, right lovely scannnnnnnn? :P ;)
from squirrelx :
Only on Diaryland could the 'master of squirrels' meet the 'master of evil robots'. God bless Andrew for bringin' this miracle about. Best, Xtine / Squirrel X P.S.: I loved John Cusak's explanation of crap!
from vyv-xx :
When you are as evil a being as I, it takes far more than a mere pair of pliers to seek vengeance on those who wish to thwart me.
from cdghost :
i will obey, but what am i obeying?
from chuna :
i don't skate. got sick of falling. but i like to watch. it's quite admirable.
from indeemario :
You are a freak. Stop leaving me messages please. Thanks! Have a great day!
from blindsten :
Addition (P.S.) your frost-goat entry made me laugh very loud in a public place while I was on my own (I was at school computers). I just would like you to know that. Thank you.
from blindsten :
New layout = excellent. Much better than the other one. Yay.
from kingwally :
My ex used to be friends with Gretchen and Breaux, so I have hung out with both of them before. I don't know if Breaux knows me, last time I saw him hanging out in Newbury Comics, Peabody, he didn't seem to recognize me, and I didn't say hi. I'm pretty sure you and I have never met.
from vyv-xx :
Ah. So you engage in the tactics of the Wu-Tang. An admirable quality. I'll tell you what, sweet cheeks. You make me a General, and in addition to promising not to condemn you to the bowels of hell, I will declare my undying loyalty to all things scanzilla. But I ain't NOBODY'S bitch.
from not-it :
come with me and we'll join our scarey movie collections. we'd never have to leave the house again. (;
from vyv-xx :
Aw, c'mon, baby! You know I didn't mean it! It's just that sometimes I get so angry. You know you my baby. I promise I ain't ever gonna hurt you again. Please forgive me baby, please! I'll change! Now git yo ass in tha kitchen and make me my supp-- I mean, I love you, baby.
from vyv-xx :
Ha ha ha! Mere mortal! But... I do quite enjoy the 7-layer Burrito™. I shall join your band of chubby aluminum pussies. I shall make them strong.
from yvette18 :
hey christians do you have senses of humor. Just stuff like that is not funny to me. But no harm done.
from vyv-xx :
Nah, Babycakes, I was only joshin' ya! I could never do a thing like that! You're too sweet! The kind of person who would try to rise up against your Army would have to be on a 7-day ritualistic mescaline binge with the purpose of calling upon all the evil forces in the Universe to band together against all that is scanzilla, you silly-billy!
from vyv-xx :
Ha! I have found the fontanelle of your so-called "army"! The most formidable of all - the Christians and their "god". I shall use this to my advantage. Bye-bye.
from scanzilla :
Awww but yvette?? I love jesus so much, almost as much as I love sniffing glue and beating up nuns? That's not offensive, it's true love I tellz ya!!
from yvette18 :
hey I dont think that was a funny comment that u put in my diary. It was insulting and it wasnt funny at all. But that is okay God Bless you!
from vyv-xx :
DO NOT PATRONIZE ME, TURD DICTATOR! I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD!
from monkiebob :
dude, have you ever been to www.robotfrank.com? It would most likely rock your socks.
from not-it :
frosty goats woth frosty muzzles...ooooh baby...spewing lava...yes!!! yes!!!
from monkiebob :
whoohoo! Let's hear it for killing and maiming our enemies robot-style.
from chuna :
your note was the best lead-in to the weirdest journal entry. but in a good way.
from indeemario :
Hi. Yes, E.T. has not phoned home in awhile. Who are you? I'd really like to know. Sincerely, Emario
from charingx :
i can rest vodka-shots on my genitals.
from arizonan :
snot is much scarier.
from gcriotgirl :
WOO HOO... pacman is purdy cool
from wzrdofozfan :
scanzilla- yeah. word to your mom. i ::heart:: reading your diary. your a good man. a good man indeed. thanks for letting me take up space writing in this here note thingy-ma-gig. moo
from not-it :
lets you and me build a time machine and go back to the 80s and rock. what'd ya say? p.s. that pic of you makes me drool all over my keyboard.
from not-it :
scratch that, one way ticket for me to you. we'd have a fucking blast road trippin it back. i <3 screaming lyrics in the car. can we take a poloroid in every state at odd ball places? like truck stops? with creepy locals?
from not-it :
i'm looking for airfare right now... i'm coming... one round trip and one one way...
from not-it :
i kinda hate you for being sooo far away. would you please come here and wooo me so that i don't have to date anyone? please? just come here and marry me damn-it!
from chiv :
you stupid yank! ..yes, you've finally made a monkey out of meeee..
from chiv :
hm, cursive, modest mouse, sigur ros, yea, you might survive the revolution. if your robots tow the line. and why isn't planet of the apes on my favourite films list? hm? answer me that? fuck this inaccurate land, i'm going to put the kettle on (buggers off).
from chiv :
weird. i was just doing a starwars survey, and mentioning yoda, when i received that note. and i never did like you staring at my arse all the time.
from chiv :
no, no it isn't. it's short for "chivis" really. that was the worst nickname in history, so i ordered it be changed. you see, my name is chris (gasp) and my handwriting is poor, an..you don't care "that" much, am sure you get the general idea.
from kbaa :
where'd you go?
from not-it :
happy 31(?) chris!
from nequeotium :
What if your parents are zombies? Are you then genetically a zombie, or do you have to be killed first?
from mr-sparkles :
Of course I'm gonna still pat your nuts. Am I gonna be in the army or what?
from not-it :
i think i caught your cold-flu thing. can you catch that via diary? i feel like shit. i'm gonna cry.
from dsdiary :
i was a clown my first halloween and i cried cause the wig was itchy. you're kinda fun, what with the scanning and all.
from not-it :
that was sick man, almost as sick as you are. ): i almost sent you a link very similar to that, if i find it, i'll send it to you. ~love ya!
from aislin-dream :
Oooh, spooky Halloween entry this morning. Feel better!
from peth :
come over here and rub my neck
from not-it :
i still <3 you lotts, i hope your better :) ~your future make-out partner
from shoshi :
You scare me!
from not-it :
you disapeared again. i'm so sad. ); come back please.
from not-it :
Dash Board Confess. sings out"don't be a liar" MY pic is you wallpaper? i read that after i had set your mirror pic as my wallpaper. when are you visiting me again?
from not-it :
Why, yes Colonel Scanders, it is. Popcorn-"Chicken" (because we all know it isn't really chicken anymore) isn't just a finger food anymore, its a hair style too! And smell my wrist...YES!!! ITS BB-Q SAUCE!!! i<3you even though i thought you forgot me in a weeks time.~pink
from mr-sparkles :
I loved popcorn chicken...............once, now I hold the record for being the world's fattest vegatarian.
from mr-sparkles :
Yup, Michael loves that Popcorn chicken.
from iheartsleep :
yay! you heart sleep too! :D
from strange711 :
thanks!
from fillyfae :
Yay for the last picture (ninjas, kitten and masterbation). YAY!!
from mr-sparkles :
that is one fucking fat cat.
from quickvick420 :
thanks for the advice, it's nice to know that a complete stranger actually took the time to write out a response like that. Vicky <3
from angelkissed7 :
YO! lol, all I can say is Damn..... lol your stuff craks me up. lol holla back ~<3~ Kristin ~<3~
from slapmeharder :
you mean other people have warts on their anus too? ooh!
from kittyspy :
ha, i liked today's entry! more peanuts entries! xoxox
from mr-sparkles :
Jump out and down and join my Champagne Jam Ring.
from quickvick420 :
Being 16 is highly over rated, i wish i had your creative freedom to write the things you do, keep your army goin strong.
from blindsten :
sent her by Liz, who claimed you were the funniest EVER. Needless to say your stories are comical and your use of random pictures is original and amusing. I'll keep on reading, if you keep it up!
from mr-sparkles :
My testicles are chocked full of furious fret tapping. Put'em next to a stack of speakers and they cause some wicked distortion. A pair of screamin' humbuckers they are.
from elizbeth :
oh man, when i read the little comment under my name on your favourite diaries list, i nearly died! that's the funniest way i've ever heard myself been described... i may have to quote you on that... is there any irony in the fact that i'm partially naked as i write this? (ha ha, there's nothign sexual going on here, i'm really just on the way to the shower...)
from slapmeharder :
my birthday is halloween. I'm going to be 27, you can send presents to me if you'd like.
from mr-sparkles :
drugs are for "l-o-o-z-e-r-s?" Anyways, Mornings do suck, I second that emotion. Everyday for people like us should just be CHAMPAGNE JAMS!
from shuck :
heavy metal guitar solos kick unicorn butt! but no acid for me... drugs are for loozers!
from slapmeharder :
i just have to say that I spent two years being very sad *as in pathetic* coming home straight after school cos I wasn't allowed to go out. my saviour was a copy of The Lost Boys on video and Young Guns (three I think)...anyway. You made my day.
from shuck :
thank you for liking my diary. unfortunately, i do not like unicorns. sorry! come back soon.
from omzhaara :
Yup - no kids just yet. Probably no kids AT ALL (but that's drama for a different day); and yes, I wouldn't do anything without Hubs' approval... I just feel crappy about this whole thing. I'm THIS close to just fucking going to my Mother's house and getting away from ALL the men in my life... I have some definite issues, not the least being that I like this open thing not just for the physical pleasure. It's pathetic, yes, but I seem to be almost friendless right now... I have my friends, but NONE that live near me and none that I can talk to on a day to day basis. I don't have sex with these guys all the time; in fact, I rarely do... but I like to be with them, have them listen to me... basically the fact that they're not Hubs. Hubs is my best friend, but I NEED my time alone... argghhhhhhhhh, never mind, I probably sound like a basket case here.
from omzhaara :
I had to leave you a note since the guestbook server is acting screwy yet again.... Oh my dear Scanzilla, I think I wrote in an entry of mine some months ago that I never DREAMT that marriage would be like this... I know you're not judging me, but just try to put yourself in my shoes for a minute and see what I'm feeling... relationships (as I'm sure you know) don't often go by the rules, and that also includes the sacred sacrament of marraige... I keep my diary in order to NOT LOSE MY MIND, but I don't profess to think that everyone reading it would be able to relate to what's happening with me, with Hubs and I. So, I'm glad that even though you don't agree with how we're living, you still read my diary... that shows an open-mindedness in you that unfortunately doesn't appear to be present in a great deal of Dland members. Take care :)
from not-it :
oh master of the evil robot army ((pause for dreamy sigh)) i love skulls and spikes, how did you know? i've sent out my rabid flock of unicorns to go pick you up and bring you to me. don't mind the frothing at the mouth. they'll need to rechange a bit, so keep the LSD handy. ~your lovingly twisted fiancť
from mr-sparkles :
You're officially hit with the CRAZY-EE STICK!!!!
from not-it :
lost boys, my movie... are we engaged yet?
from elizbeth :
oh my fucking god! i found you via ergoatlas and have only read three entries... mainly because it's hard to read more because my computer is on my desk while i am rolling around on the floor laughing... that Balki entry fucking killed me, i haven't read anything that funny in a LONG time. thanks for the laugh, or rather, then aneurysm.
from mr-sparkles :
Nancy: I like chocolate..........HOT...chocolate.
from mr-sparkles :
I love the fact that there's that box of the Mr. T action figure and you can read the words, GENTLE GIANT. I think Nancy likes brown sugar in her coffee.
from mr-sparkles :
That Nancy Picture...............priceless, that's a fucking t-shirt right there.
from not-it :
marry me anyway and i'll find you a unicorn.
from not-it :
thanks for checkin out my diary. fuck karma. i'd like to ask you to marry me, but it looks like you already have quite the female following. ((sigh)) oh well.
from proudnerd :
No.
from weeme :
omigod scanzilla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I simply must have that spidey dance thingy you left in sooner's guestbook. It's absolutely hypnotic! It makes ALL my senses tingle, not just the spidey ones! and I've spent the last forty minutes matching him up with different itunes. My fave so far is "hello Mr. Heartache" by the Dixie Chicks. Can you puhlease puhlease e-mail it to me at weeme@diaryland.com ??? I'll be your robot slave for life!
from princess154 :
thanks for liking my site and leaving a note. Were you lying about it though? Hope not. Peace:)
from fillyfae :
Tapeworms are so sexy. Rawr.
from ninabean :
wow.. i leave a message in your book and a mere few hours later, its gone -- corroded by 'other' entries from 'other' women... but they dont stalk u as hard as I do... I require a restraining order and heavy breathing on the phone... hah.. ok so at least leaving a note, the message won't disappear AS quickly........ *stalks*
from marn :
That was YOU on the unicorn? Oh dear ...
from mr-sparkles :
whatta country!
from roboticamour :
I know, it's genius. I mean, it's really the only thing I'm proud of. I put it on resume's.
from roboticamour :
I deleted all the entries shortly after (or before, I'm not quite sure) you sent that message. I do that often. Thanks? Yes, thanks. I'd comment on yours, but um, I haven't looked at it yet.
from sexxxiness :
Thanks for your message ;) I'm cracking up at the dog costumes but I'll go seriously read now :D
from mspsychosexy :
thank you for visiting my site. I'm glad you like it.
from musicjunkee :
I like notes, too. & I really should be sleeping. Yeah. So, good night {morning}. Rock.
from peth :
i am falling asleep here. i need some of your huge american style.
from lucky-starz :
very much liked the dog entry. Im glad you escaped the bitch safely and all that. but you should do a halloween monkey entry. monkees dressed as humans are funny. real funny.
from smushy :
Thanks for the note!! So sweet of you to say.. I am just running out now but I will be back soon to read some of you!
from foreverlad :
A Boston boy, huh? 55 and raining... I believe it. I spent most of June 2001 up there. Couldn't get over the weather. it could hit the high 80's during the day and dip to the 40's at night. Did the U2 shows at the Fleet Center and had to sit in a wind tunnel for 14 hours between 4 am to 6pm. I learned Boston weather well lol
from foreverlad :
Dude, nice site. Funny stuff. I went out to the mall the other day and I saw the most horrendous Austin Powers costume. Almost beats the 'lil kids running around in Faux-Barney suits yelling "rawr!" Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto.
from imaginez :
dan... care to put in good costume ideas one day? i need a few because i'm idea-free for this year. byee hun
from mollyx :
You're odd. I like you.
from chadin :
hey man, thanks for checkin me out. took a look at your diary. cool toys. just one thing, either you think those costumes are cute, funny, or you think the kids wearing them are funny, or you are just a serious petifile, either way, funny stuff man.
from cereal-slut :
Dur...My nicknames Smurf. Fucker.
from cereal-slut :
...When they're getting drop kicked? =/
from cereal-slut :
Heh. =)
from supernigger :
suzy?
from saint-louise :
"i come in peace. take my body as a token of my friendship."
from liza :
oh my god and remember how you carried them around in your pocket for like two months and touched them before you shook hands with people. that was so sick.
from liza :
no, i don't remember that... but i do remember when scott gave you gonorrhea! oh man, that was so fucked up.
from scott :
he makes me sick, too. quite often. in other people's bathrooms.
from liza :
yeah, scott makes me sick too. he has given me the flu, a stomach virus, and a kidney stone. no, really!!
from liza :
um. i'm sorry! i'll tell him.
from small144 :
Hey there...right back at ya!
from small144 :
i'm sorry...please forgive me for being one of those girls that you love to hate...because i'm realy not like that...
from small144 :
Hey baby did you make any fireworks this week?
from mecha :
ahh...tattoos. one leads to two; two leads to thirty
from startattoos :
:( you're in town, and didn't even tell me :( sad sad sad is me xoxo
from forgotmyline :
cool diary. good luck with quitting smoking.
from halfdevoured :
I noticed that you have me linked in your profile just now, but there's a hyphen there that shouldn't be. Anyway, I was writing to say that I thought that I recalled reading that you were a fan of Evil Dead in your profile & I found a bunch of Evil Ash toys for $5 at a shopping mall recently. I heard from Crystal that you love toys, so if you don't have an Evil Ash and you want one, I could snatch him up for you. 'Cause I'm nice like that. See? Dammit? I make a horrible Evil Robot. Ugh. Looking forward to your next entry. I need some funny.
from halfdevoured :
I'm leaving this for everyone: http://muffinfilms.com. It makes me laugh. Check out the Big Bunny, too.
from girl101 :
how are you? {i shouldnt have to ask}
from cuillin :
I'm not living in Alabama, just visiting until next week...then it's back to Massachusetts. My boyfriend, the computer wizard, helped me put up my mp3s...we set up a free page on Angelfire and then created a link from my diary to that page. Good luck!
from cuillin :
I'm not living in Alabama, just visiting until next week...then it's back to Massachusetts. My boyfriend, the computer wizard, helped me put up my mp3s...we set up a free page on Angelfire and then created a link from my diary to that page. Good luck!
from rebekahtion :
what made you leave that today? thank you. i love hum.
from whyihateyou :
All this talk of our first time is getting me hot! Why don't you come over and be sure to bring your knight rider trading cards. I cum quicker when I can see an image of a young David Hasslehoff. Well, I guess that's true for about everybody, isn't it. I HATE you so much it FEELS LIKE LOVE, PRICKLY DICK! IT FEELS LIKE LOVE!
from sooner :
Hey Zilla. I've, um, got a problem. My secret indentity is about to be blown. I need a favor. Can you construct a Eunice robot that I can be seen with in public? Maybe even photographed with? It will have to be convincing, so you'll need to remember the colostomy bag, the 9 toes, the flipper, the robot body lice. Also, the robot will need to be equipped with some kind of atomizer which will be able to fill the room with what I like to call the essence of Eunice. It's not a pleasant smell, but what is? I hope you can come through for me. I won't be able to effectively hate the sparkly if I don't have a secret identity. Thaanks in advance.
from whyihateyou :
Oh sweet Zilla, I don't want to fight anymore. We can have make up sex on a Pac Man machine if you want. One of those table top Pizza Hut models. I will do you good. And for the record, I am NOT delaying my Chlamydia treatment until I can pass it to you. I'm delaying for religious reasons that have to do with me OBEYING THE WORD OF GOD, MOTHER FUCKER! So can't we be friends again?
from whyihateyou :
FUCK YOU, ZILLA BILLA BO BILLA! Oh my god, you make me so mad!!! I DO NOT smell like hotdogs and chlorine in my pussy! Oh, you are such a mother fucker. I smell like cotton candy and other various candies down in my vagina. You're just too much of a complainer, that's what you are. You are a complainer.

Now you go right back to that bathroom and you fix what you've done to me with your lies and your stupid-face LIES! The fondue and hotdog and chlorine smell comes from my ASS, fag-face! From my ASS! Now go fix it on the bathroom wallRIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Oh. My. God. You're so incompetent.
from whyihateyou :
Yes. It is no wonder.
from whyihateyou :
Oh Zilla. Our love is not to be. You see, every time I fall for some boy who can over look my physical deformaties he does something terrible to me and I wind up hating him. I can't take that risk. I'm just too vulnerable.

Therefore, I am skipping straight to the part where I say I hate you and your fucking ass-face! I didn't want it to be this way. I thought our love was beautiful But nothing is ever good enough for you, is it, baboon breath? Is it? I will always HATE you and especially the way you dress!
from ray-andrew :
Wow, you must REALLY love me. I am on your fave diary list not once but TWICE! Is it gonna be a three-peat folks? Heh.
from p-e-n-i-s :
click here for the penis interview there are the questions...cut and paste them into your email or something. when you've completed them, email them HERE and tell us if we can post your name or not:) have fun!
from cheshriecat :
as a p-e-n-i-s (genius) cofounder i would like to congratulate you on being one of the few people immature enough to find humor in our diary! if youre interested in an interview, contact either one of us (anti-all or cheshriecat) and in turn we'll brainwash ourselves to be part of your army.
from punkgurly :
:( come baaaaack
from startattoos :
I MISS YOU! WHERE ARE YOU :(
from shutupmom :
lets break dance.
from rebekahtion :
i love you too. thanks. you're really cute. i like your diary's design. very nice... bye.
from melkel6391 :
*naked hugs* for you
from punkgurly :
I'm ending the reign of melkel6912...or something...and I just wanted to say that you have a REALLY RAD site as well and I agree, I think everyone should own a cursive shirt. yay for chris carrabba! and scanzilla! very entertaining entries.
from melkel6391 :
Ok, haven't gotten to talk to you in awhile. And you haven't written anything new lately. :( hope to talk to you soon
from melkel6391 :
Wow, who's the loser that hit done! twice? Catoons are great. Cartoons are great. Deja Vu,Deja Vu, Deja Vu, Deja Vu, ....
from melkel6391 :
Psst - I'm whispering too, but my boss left this morning b/c her kid had a fever... I get out of work at 3:30, so it's kind of late to skip out, but maybe tomorrow - me, you, ET? What do you say? Ok, I can't whisper anymore, b/c I sound twelve...
from melkel6391 :
Ha! Cartoons are great. But what about the Hair Bear Bunch... Sure, everyone remembers the name of the stupid cat in the Smurfs - but not the bears than rode around on an invisible motorcycle... even cartoons tell you to do drugs...
from melkel6391 :
Ha! Cartoons are great. But what about the Hair Bear Bunch... Sure, everyone remembers the name of the stupid cat in the Smurfs - but not the bears than rode around on an invisible motorcycle... even cartoons tell you to do drugs...
from melkel6391 :
Yikes, seems like everyone's way hostile... so - anywho - it's been nice talking to you - guess I'll talk to you again soon? you haven't written too much since the other day either...
from infinity- :
dont miss something thats not lost
from spikeyfish :
we can shoot green laazoor ray. [red robot theme song - kompressor (a must for any evil robot master of doom methinks.)] mmm. kill all hu-mans. am i your only robotic fish? that would [own].
from janc :
sounds like the broad needs a refresher course in employee relations.....everyone makes mistakes, that's why there are erasers on pencils.....don't let her get to you..you are the better person after all. Just remember the next time you come face to face, they can't fire you for evil thoughts that are hidden by a smile on your face.....later.J
from nancysrants :
It was not your fault, take it from me that broad was probably PMSing. So get a grip on your shoulders and pull your head out of your ass. You are a worthy person!
from beholdmybutt :
im a dumbass.....note not "not".....later mitch
from beholdmybutt :
it seems to me that "jackal1117" is a little bit angry w/ u.....thanks for the not in my diary....yeah.....um......yeah.....later Mitch
from scanzilla :
Awwww shit, if I knew it was going to be this kind of party, I would have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes. :)
from jackal1117 :
If people who are reading this want to know why i'm sounding like a jerk and am so angry its cuz scanzilla had went to my diary, read my entries, and now has implied that my good friend josh, that is in a really bad situation in life and is probably going to jail for a long time, scanzilla implied that his shit that he's going threw rite now is fake. And now to top it off he's implying my loyalties mean crap and that i wouldn't help the kid out which i have done on numerous occassions.
from jackal1117 :
Hey look my name is scanzilla. I'm a retarded piece of shit. Excuse me while i go fuck a goat while i shove robots up my ass!
from scanzilla :
Excuse the vulgarity of the bottom note, Jr. High School is off from school this week. :)
from jackal1117 :
I'M PLANNING ON IT U STUPID FUCK! I actually am goin to the next fight so shut the hell up u know nothing
from melkel6391 :
check out behereawhile.diaryland.com
from jackal1117 :
Hey fuck u.... those entries of josh aren't fake... and now one of his legs are broke and the other is seriously fucked up.
from curmudgeon76 :
Dan, Howdy...thanks fer taggin' my notes page. By the way, Breaux gave me a copy of the Presley cd and you guys are rad. He didn't think I'd like the music style, but I definetly do. Yeah, I'm workin' on setting up a guestbook so I should have one soon. Later -Justin
from melkel6391 :
i'm confused... i didn't know i had written anything worth reading yet... email me? (or let me know where I can email you?)
from masochancer :
thanks for reading my journal, sorry i dont write more. whats your e-mail adress?
from queerkitty :
drunken xmasss, for reals. xoxox for my favourite bot.
from girl101 :
my friend was telling me how she went to a bnl concert & i asked who opened for them and she said action figure party & i thought of you & yr hot 80's pop icons &etc.
xxo.
from girl101 :
HIIII-YAH.
from robotlove :
FortuneBot say: To live, you must love and laugh with every breath.
from lovefox1 :
HI,thanks for leaving me a note. I didn't get a chance to read your diary, but I plan to check it out. I'm wondering how you found me, she doesn't list me as a fav. and also, what entry you read? Just curious! THANKS!! GINA
from blue-hour :
Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and happy new year from THE CHANEL CHAINSAW MASSACRE! Hope you have a happy, happy holiday! http://blue-hour.diaryland.com/
from girl101 :
you're making me blush & ah i am so jealous - snowwww {i live in florida}. it was ninety degrees today. 9ty. my friends & i are scheming to get the weather to turn colder by wearing 'cold weather clothes' aka long sleeve shirts & skirts. a little different from your attire, i think... {& may i say, we've shown the weather who's boss!} i just played checkers with my brother, but i'm sure i have some energy left for a couple rounds of simon. are you in college or school or anything like that? my cousin is going to bc, i think. hmhmmm & ill bring the tinytiny marshmellows. we had a fire in the fireplace yesterday! we turned the air down in our house to seventy & i wore flannel & it felt like christmas.
from girl101 :
you are officially the cutest kid ever. everrrrr. and your name is dan so that multiplies everything times fifty thousand. sigh sigh. & i think you'd be a pretty fun match in simon.. i played the other day with the kids i babysit but i had to let them win. simon, skip it, slap bracelets... today, i am sad because they are only tiny memories of the little girl i used to be.
ps - i loved hearing your fourth grade adventures! you could write a novel.
from unemployed :
we should watch nick at night sometime. do you like junkfood? if so, i'm coming down.
from robotlove :
from unemployed :
yea, we're getting married.
from robotlove :
Je vais danser en la pluie avec le singe jaune. Voudrait-tu accompagner moi?
from versusblue :
marry me? :)
from illiac :
dan, because we both have the word nice branded on our foreheads, i am sending you a present. it will have to be thursday. you will enjoy it if you haven't seen it before. ok? ok.
from tigrrrwench :
yo! the diary of k-dawg is once again locked up. but all you have to do is type in babygotback sucka! by the way, i didn't know you lived in boston, nor did i know you had such excellent taste in music. ahhh, we will be married some day.....
from illiac :
dear scanzilla, i will kick your ass at simon anyday. bring.it.on.
from katzenklo :
hi, you're way cool. thanks for signing my thingie.
from beuysgirl :
you had no comments. so i'm commenting. comment. comment comment comment! comment? comment.

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