| from
sad-faerie : |
|
Heya, sorry I locked up but some people found my diary who I really don't want reading it! If you want to continue reading, please leave me a note with an e-mail address where I can send a username & password! Thanks xXx aurora xXx
|
| from
twistedntorn : |
|
hey i like ur site. check out mine give me insight thanks
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
holy mother.. this has gone on far too long.. :( i miss you Sam..
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
where did you go? come back come back!!
|
| from
operaticblis : |
|
ur wonderful
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Saaaaammmm... where are you?
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
I was sitting in my friend's backyard tonight.. watching the sunset.. and I thought of you. love.
|
| from
sad-faerie : |
|
Hey, thanks for letting me know about the lyrics x
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
*smile.. dont go blind on account of my need to look artistic.. hehe silly boy. oh Im going to be late for work.. bah.. love.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Sam-sam-sam... I miss you lots, I miss our talks, and I want you to feel better. Come on msn soon. You will, won't you? xo.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
yes.. they are amazing.. and Im definately on a deftones kick right now.. Im going out to buy White Pony today... :)
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
Sam, have I ever told you that I love you? Because I do. I really do. *smiles
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
ahh I see. Thank you for explaining.. Im glad things are better for you both now. Its beautiful outside, Sam. Sunshine and blueskies. I wish I didnt have to sit inside at a computer all day.. ah well. Its Friday! love.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
whats wrong darling??
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
you make my heart smile... love you.
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
when i read ur note.. i cried. i guess what im trying to say is.. thx. my heart dedicates "Only One" by Yellowcard to you...
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew her
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah,
You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah,
I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah. I listen to this when I feel like that and draw pictures with crayons. It's hard to focus when you feel like that--and little things aren't enough. I'll think of you all today and until I can think of something that'll help more.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
where are you leaving to? and...can i come?
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
nono no more.. please..
tattoo my darling..
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
If i go out for a smoke on my balcony before midnight the big dipper is right above my head.. i look directly up into it.. the moon looked very bright last night.. hearts to you.. dont hurt my darling.. love.
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
pretty boy, whats wrong.. :( dont cut tho doll, yr too strong and beautiful.. thatll never change, but ive kinda learned.. pain doesnt over ride pain.... if ever you get sad.. just smile and know.. that your butterfly will always give u a hug. xoxo
|
| from
nervously : |
|
i would sure like it if you didn't cut... yes, yes i would. make parsnips.. think of little things but please my darling don't cut.
|
| from
sad-faerie : |
|
You know, I never realised how beautiful the lyrics to that song (Over the Rainbow) were until I just read them on your diary. Thankyou x
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
emperorincxt@hotmail.com :) im excited to see it.. {the sun is brilliant today.. i cant wait until the leaves spring out.. sunlight through the leaves is heavenly..}
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
:D thats awesome... you shall have to find a digital camara and take pics to show me when you do... :) love.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
get tattoos of little stars... it will be easier to get then placed right.. and then you dont have to stick to the limitations of the arm thats doing the cutting...
|
| from
nervously : |
|
just i love you
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
i felt the same way yesterday pretty boy. *gives you a hug* i know i needed one yesterday, but i'll give it away to you anytime..
|
| from
parlance : |
|
What's new with you?
|
| from
parlance : |
|
Hi.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
and if you believe I can.. then I can! *smiles. Im doing better, Can you tell? love.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
Its ok, darling. You dont have to fix everything for me, hehe. *smiles The pouring rain and the sunset the other night made me think of you, the rays of the sunset through the dark clouds overhead.. it was awesome. I am going to stay right here. I need my inverse as well...thankyou for the note. hug+love.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
We're talking on msn right now, it's Friday, and I'm leaving a note because your notes page and I make plans to meet alot, I come here and try to remember what I wanted to find words to say. Today it's 'you're still my favorite.' That is all. xo.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Darling. You're not selfish. Or needy. If you were, I wouldn't adore you nearly as much as I do. xo.
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
my beautuful broke poem with rose pedals inside it, ty for helping me today. Even if you may have thought it was very little, it meant alot to me. :muah: darling. Ty again. Can't wait to know more about you.. :smiles: ty pretty pretty boy. You still have a graet ability of making me smile.
|
| from
she-lied : |
|
i love those lyrics "cause nobody loves me it's true/ not like you do"...i just felt the need to say that that's my favorite song. xox
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
you make me smile pretty pretty boy.. i have another question to ask you.. may i talk to you on msn? .ps. im assuming u have msn. if not. i feel dumb.
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
lordy.. ur name is the same as my last name. *blink blink* this is getting strange
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
pretty boy? i know u might not want to answer and u dont have to. but what is your name?
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
ps. I copied the title for your main page..(changing it accordingly) I hope you dont mind.. if you do I can change it. love.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
thinking of you...
|
| from
nervously : |
|
It will all be fine. Awkwardness will only make your relationship stronger--your email made my morning. Will return it soon. It's awful we live in different time zones and can't talk too much on msn. Then again, you always have grand insight on what will be tomorrow for me. You have grand insight. xo.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
the sun came up for a few minutes today and i thought of you first of all and if i could speak to you what i'd say keep me posted about you-know-what---wow it's so weird that i know longer completely monopolize your notes page it must be remedied!! xo.
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
i wish i could give you a hug pretty pretty boy. but everything inside me tells that you need/deserve so much more.
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
no self-made scars. no self made battle wounds. no hurting myself. no silly things. i was almost on the edge of breaking down last night. sorry about the note. i didnt know who else to talk to.. or anyone else who would at least try or maybe somewhat understand. i almost choked on my own tears while writing that and sometimes.. i wish it did. i let one person destroy me, how strong am i? i guess once your so used to being happy.. when something so strong to hurt you like that comes.. you hardly cant take it and u crumble. *shrugs* ty for the not. ill take it in consideration that im beautiful inside.. dun know if i can believe it tho. [pretty pretty boy/ with your beautiful soul/ heart/ and mind/ take take/ take away me/ from this pain i keep inside.]
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
i cant stop crying and im not even sure why i am. right now everything inside me is hurt and i wish i wasnt so scared of physical pain just so i could do something to distract this emotional pain. i feel ugly inside and everything hurts. and im sorry if im not perfect. im sorry im not good enough.. i feel so.. lost and confused. it wont stop. this pain.. it wont stop. i didnt deserve this.. i was trying so hard to be happy. and im sorry. im sorry i bother u. im sorry im pouring my heart out here right now..
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
I havent today. But no promises. Im not strong enough. And promises are only made to be broken. love.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
Im so so SO proud of you... you are amazing..
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
sometimes i want to be able to scream till my lungs collapse and i can no longer breath but take in shallow breaths.. but then theirs always something that comes along that makes me squeal with delight and blinds all that anger and hurt. hopefully one day i'll be able to scream it all out. but i guess it's better to just look forward to those pretty lil giggles, right? hope everything is going great with you.. don't doubt yr beauty.. because it'll never leave you. fuck faults [pardon mah french].. but in beauty.. faults are the greatest things.. and even without them.. you'll amaze me.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
And I hope she is woman enough to stay your friend if she doesnt feel the same way back...
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
oh my gosh.. thats a lil too freaky.. but i hope yr b-day was great.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
My darling.. would you be able to stand by while she is with someone else? can you stand having your heart broken over and over and over again every time she smiles at someone else? And then have it break again when the bastard of a boy breaks her heart? It can hurt so much, and you think it is completely and utterly unbearable, but at the end of the day... she'll always talk to YOU, hangout with YOU, tell YOU everything, at the end of the night.. all the boys hitting on her at the bar dont know 1/4 of what you know about her. And for me.. in my inverse situation.. that makes it worth it.. knowing all of that. And knowing he loves me. {{Happy birthday!!}}
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
happy birthday... now i can easily remember your b-day [it's my sister's and my brother's birthday too. they aren't twins tho.. just born on the same day two years apart.] but yes, have a very happy b-day.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAAAAAPPPPPPPYYY BIRRRRRRRRRRTTTTHHHDDDAAAYYY DARRRRRLIIIIIIINNNNGGGGGG!!!!! Have an excellent birthday. Get drunk and have fun and be happy and do special things because today is a good day because you were born. And that's a happy, happy thing. I shall reply to your lovely email--argh, when I have time. I have to go to the downtown library and do horrid biology research. Let me know how your birthday goes!! Love you tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii sssssssssssssssssssssss much. xo.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
I know absolutely, absolutely what you mean with Cat. I find myself doing it too. I don't have any answers, but I really do understand. I have no idea why there isn't mutual fixation. Gosh, what's wrong with the girls over there? They should all be fixated on you! It's funny, it was grey and snowy over here too. Anyways. xo. Maybe you and Cat could work... Feeling agitated? Add to the list.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
I think about you during the day and I wonder what you're thinking or feeling or if you're having a nice sleep and I'm always so happy to find out that all the things I'd hope you're feeling--you are feeling. One day I'll write all the notes you write me down and paint backgrounds for them and post them on my wall or overtop my window in winter. And we'll sing songs and tell stories until bedtime. Love. xo.
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
[note to self: i can't spell.]
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
just knowing that you/somebody smiles for me makes my day a little better. what you say makes it better. knowing the simpliest things brings happines to me in some way.
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
aww thank you for smiling for me. i think i'm gonna need it in the days to come. again, don't stop being beautiful. xoxo.. toodles doll
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
i love how yr day want. its great how the simpliest things make u smile up until the point where you want to scream insanity and die happy but live forever. with me, it's phone calls or letters. anything directed towards me, it may sound selfish. but it's nice to be notice once youve neglected yourself for so long. i'm glad for you and every inch of me will smile for you. your beautiful and always will be, even once yr words disappear from my life. even if i dont remember the exact smile youve given to me without trying. i'll always remember. emotion is beautiful. and so are you. i dont think i can mention that enough.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
I hope all the days you have are like that one too. And I know what you mean. Nothing monumentally special really happens, but everything does. Hope tomorrow's one too. No one deserves it more than you. Love. xo.
|
| from
cynicist : |
|
Thank you so much for the note... I know exactly what you mean and I've no doubt it would help infinitely... it's just so difficult in practice. I think there's an inbuilt *need* to be trying to 'get somewhere' as it were. Anyway I should try and sleep before my day starts properly. I hope everything is ok with you right now... Take care
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
xo.hope.xo
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
hmm the question is... would we connect if we met somewhere other then diaryland? I find that thought very interesting...
|
| from
tragiceyes- : |
|
i envy how more beautiful you are. the layout took me awhile to figure out. but cha, i likes it. thanks for adding me darling. you make me love emotion.
|
| from
myxtherapy : |
|
hey there beautiful. sowwies i haven't gave u mah new name.. i've been busy organizing it. but cha... if u can.. or if u want to.. my new name is tragiceyes- ...hope to hear from you
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
you are wonderful!
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
thankyou darling.. i will definately keep that in mind.. but I really think both him and I will need to be intoxicated for that conversation... both for me to find the words and for him to tell me honestly how he feels... thankyou for taking the time to note me.. love.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
Im in love with my bestfriend. Its the most beautiful heart ache. And he's the most beautiful thing in the world... and I dont know how to tell him. One of my friends is truly out-of-her-mind crazy and I dont know what to do.. {I feel like she looks.. like I can take anything that is coming at me...} i feel invincible... xo.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Even if you didn't "need" attention I'd happily spend mine on you. So there. :)Had funny conversation with my Dad about parsnips. He sure does hate them vehemently. And. Go for a vacation. In your mind and out of it. xo. <3
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
i would be too dark without my sunshine.. :) xo.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
*touches your face.. *kisses your forehead.. *holds your hand.. i wish i could be there..
|
| from
nervously : |
|
MY GOD. No. No no no no don't do anymore. I wish we could talk. Goddamn msn not working. Do you have msn? This is so primitive. Do you need stitches? Oh no, I'm so so so sorry dear. Love you. xo. Fuck. I want to talk to you!
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Oh my! How... bad are you? Are you okay? Let me know. I'm all worried like. Please, please be okay.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Oh, darling... .... xo.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
I am vunderful darrrrlink. and silly. very very silly. smile once today. laugh once too (no bitterness.. honesttogoodness laughter) and tommorrow and tommowwor.. what a funny word that is.. i mean how many Ms and Rs does a word really need? hm sorry, I seem to be sidetracked.. and have lost the original train of thought.. the point my dear, is that I looked for new pictures specifically to show you. I hope the hurt is not too much to bear today. love.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
I don't understand either, so don't you worry! The last note you left was enough, anyways. I'm such a stupid wankrag, I must be more careful. It's a good list--even if you don't follow it, it's there for reference and whatnot. Anyways, I know I say it alot but I think you need to hear it more. You're a lovely, lovely person who deserves to be hugged. Constantly. xo.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
(I lerrrrvvvvvvvv youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu) <Listening to too much Smiths>
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Okay. So what you should do, in steps is: 1) Put on pretty music/music that makes you calm/happy/at ease. 2) Listen to that and make sure you're warm and comfortable. If you have a stuffed animal sort of friend (I realize you probably don't, having matured, but I have a host of them and I recommend having at least one), it'll help in this situation. 3) Rest your eyes for a bit. 4) Drink some water. 5) Sit down and... honestly, do this. MAKE A LIST of everything you love. Honestly. It really, really helps, and it makes an excellent point of reference. 6) Eat some ice cream AND THIS IS THE REALLY IMPORTANT ONE:: Remember how much everyone loves you. I can think of two offhand, you think of the rest. xo. :)
|
| from
nervously : |
|
I'm going to stop reading the news and start hatmaking fulltime :). Isn't it comforting how a few words can make someone's day, or at least hour, a whole bunch better? Yours always do for me, that and toast. Heh. Toast. I'm happy you had a better day, Cat sounds lovely. What sort of help do you need to live? xo.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
re: Latest entry and the note you left me. Sometimes our line of thought is so in sync it's frightening. I understand how you feel--I agree, but I don't know how to fix it. If I did, though, you'd be the first one I'd tell. Don't let everyone else's "pace" worry you, It would be heartbreaking (the bad sort) if you let the world touch you. Have a good sleep. xo.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Thank you so much... you have no idea how nice your words are... I originally didn't want to post that because it was special to me, but I thought I would anyways. Don't cry, though. :) And... you should've talked to that girl. You have plenty to say. And I'm sure any girl would badly want to talk to you. Have a splendid night, love. xo.
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Oh no no no no no. You don't think wrong at all. Everyone else does. There's nothing wrong with being lovely and sensitive, and know that the world may be fucked up, your job may be fucked up, people around you may be--but you're not. No, you're not. You're special and lovely and wouldn't you know I think of you off of diaryland and I wonder if you're okay and how you're doing and although no one may understand, you might think, and you might be right, someone somewhere thinks you're great. And wants you to play forever, too. xo. Words never say the things I want to.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
I believe in you.. You are strong enough :)
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
a piece of wonder in the dark.. thats exactly what you are. :) the sunlight to my moonlight? do we contrast enough for that do you think?
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
{do you see the ring around the moon tonight?}
|
| from
myxtherapy : |
|
im just a dorknut.. =p... i guess i don't write.. because.. i never really feel like my words are enough. i dunno.. i might just get a new diary and keep hush hush about it so i dont have to pour my heart out to people who i dream of reading it. but i'll always come back to read you beautiful words and smile. i wish i had your beauty and insight.. then i could be half-perfect.
|
| from
myxtherapy : |
|
just writing to tell you.. You. Are. Still. Beautiful.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
have you seen Meilin Wong's page? (link at the bottom of my page) She's got a fair few good ones.. {I like looking up at the moon and seeing what phase it is.. I like that it follows a pattern, but Im too lazy to keep close track of it.. makes the night sky more interesting when you dont know}
|
| from
nervously : |
|
You write the loveliest notes that make me feel so much better--thanks so, so so much. Honestly-really. I'm inspired to go for a walk or something nice. I finished your tape and I'd very much like to send it, if that's okay--I hope you like it, if you'd like to see it, it's under my mixes "caught in the rage..."--erm, if you'd be comfortable with emailing me your mailing address--"iamthegirlwhowantedtobegod@hotmail.com".... I generally send the post off on Mondays so hopefully you get it soon. I don't know if anyone else thinks mixed tapes are magical, but I sure do. No poetry left today but I sure am glad to know you today. Truly. xo.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
Im a ray of sunshine? hmm maybe moonshine...
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
Im back... :)
|
| from
oceans-depth : |
|
Once again I see my self in your words and understand your Pain.
Sometimes the world is just to Harsh and you begin to choke on all the responsibilities placed upon you.
Like you are standing in quick sand with the whole world jumping up and down on you.
I too S/I so I know sometimes its the only way to feel things.
If you would like a new friend or someone to talk to come find me I'll be around. xoxo Deja
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
I feel you..... I wish I could stand beside you and hold your hand and hug you and and and! I feel you so much... hang in there...
|
| from
nervously : |
|
Ahh, I'm so sorry love. I really am. I don't have anything good, or profoundly comforting or remotely intelligent to say, just that I really am just so so so sorry. I don't know why these things happen, and I don't even know if they happen for the better. Fucking cliches. I can't understand what you're going through, but I just want to say that I'm thinking of you and wishing you well from far away... and... don't cut, mmkay? I know how badly you must want to... but... goddamnit, I really do want to help you in some small way. Can I make you a mixed tape? Seriously. I'd very much like to. I know nothing makes me happier. Do let me know. In the mean time... take care of yourself.
|
| from
oceans-depth : |
|
wow I just loved reading your diary.
Odd how I seem to feel like your last paragraph on pretty much a daily basis.
Your a great writer. xoxo Deja
|
| from
nervously : |
|
You say the loveliest things--and I'm so glad you turned on your notes. I've wanted to leave you one for a long time but forgot to check if you had or not... I really hope things turn out with Chrissie--from what you say she seems really amazing, and so do you... I, personally, want very much for you to be happy.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
she IS lovely.. I think I will keep her for a while...
|
| from
u-b-e-r-gal : |
|
Hey! ..I was drifting through diaryland and noticed that one of your favorite movies was Donnie Darko.. I LOVED that movie -it DEFINATELY didn't get the attention it deserved! Well, have a nice day!
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
*grins i like that..
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
mid-evil maiden? hehe.
|
| from
myxtherapy : |
|
yay.. im hoping this goes well for you.. *crosses fingers for ya* You really really deserve this... yay.. im so happy now... your happiness brings forth mine.. yay [[yes i'm a freak, sowwies]]
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
*smile
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
just breathe....smile...look into her eyes...everything will be ok....
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
Happy Valentine's Day to you as well. I hope you have a fantabulous night. (I would say day.. but its a little late timewise to wish you that..)
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
a perfect fucking circle.. man.. I am SO jealous...
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
I sit beside you.. listening to your words. I take your hand and hold it gently. I close my eyes and ask my heart. the answer: "Yes I can." xo.
|
| from
emperorincxt : |
|
hmm thankyou. Im not sure if Im used to it yet.. I think I put too many pictures in it.. I liked how it looked with the one pic of the (now ex-)lead singer of Norma Jean screaming... so it might change again shortly.. or it might not. heh. byefornow.
|
| from
myxtherapy : |
|
your too beautiful than my own eyes can see. i want to hide you in a pretty box and keep you as my own, away from anyone else. but then i feel selfish because everyone should know how much beauty you consist of, which is far more than the stars. thank you so much for the note and adding me. don't stop being beautiful, which is absolutely impossible to stop with you... much love. -Serena
|
| from
myxtherapy : |
|
you have a diary layout like me! ^.^ we are so awesomeness! yay us.. but yeah, i was reading ur diary.. i lurved it, you dont mind if i add u as one of my favorites, do you?
|
