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Congratulations on the new boy. Your neighbor sounds like a real piece of work. Now please stop blocking her driveway with your damn Loft Conversion will you?! Best, O.

from slinkycurtis :

Hey it's yourself - so glad you've finally updated your diary

from smashthegas :

Your neighbour is running a petition against your loft conversion? I bet she's a fat old trout who wears floral print dresses and has a twat that emanates fragrance de carp. I'd round up the local canines and dump a load of poo through her letterbox. If that's too time consuming, use your own. Smash \m/

from bluperspex :

though... the 'poo' story was funny. even though it was 'poo'

from falo :

Hey there Slinky. I hope that you and your family have a wonderful Christmas.

from smashthegas :

Ha! If you could get an insider from the company, to supply you with inside info on the goings on in the office, I would be happy to take over the "Worst Employee Of The Month" awards page. Introducing: The GAFTA's! ROFL

from stepfordtart :

Nice. Very nice. I'll bear you in mind if MY job's ever on the line (presumably for the heinous crime of surfing D.land while Im supposed to be working!). Thanks for your comment about the X-UFO, if we crash it into a tree on its first outing I'll be sure to send you a video so you can snort dismissively. s x

from stepfordtart :

Already intending to do it! Have been reading all the stuff you posted and laughed plenty!

from falo :

Hey there Slinky. The US chiming in here to say that the injustice that Paul is receiving is an insult to all of us who work for a living. Slow! Preposterous. Is there a standard for speed on the job to which Pamela's speed per job can be assessed? Why is Pamela picking on Paul, is he a former lover whom she is trying to rid from the workplace? This story smacks of anti-Paul bias.

from stepfordtart :

cant imagine anything more horrid than being timed out whilst taking a poo. My sympathies are with you.

from stepfordtart :

Forgot to ask if Ok to add you to my favourites. Assume OK unless you say "Hell, no,woman - what were you thinking of!". Thanks s x

from stepfordtart :

"regardless of having concussed the chief exec, pissing all over him would not have helped things". Bwahahahaha - you dont perchance want to come and work where I work do you? Your fuckwittage in meetings would definitely deflect from my own! Will visit again shortly. s x

from smashthegas :

I thought your email was very well worded, and can empathise with your concerns, dude. However, I managed to eventually overcome that particular problem by using the disabled bog, which had a pull-on-the-string light. Lovely huge cubicle, I used to quite enjoy sitting there and reading a magazine whilst pooing. Rumour has it that the Head Of Secured Lending used it as a wank hole, but the stains on the floor were chicken and sweetcorn soup. Apparently. smash\m/

from falo :

Hey there Slinky. Hahaha! Oh no you didn't?! That is a fantastic email. I look forward to the answer. Will the president of the company address this question with emphasis on productivity and simply tell you to hurry up? What exciting new turn will this email bring? hahaha!

from smashthegas :

In keeping with the poo theme, I once took a (frankly small and rather disappointing) dump onto a newspaper, and squashed the pages back together, leaving said newspaper on the table in reception for the potential new recruits to find. I never did hear whether or not some poor unsuspecting fool got a nostril full of poo while they looked at the funnies in the Mirror, but then sometimes we have to suffer not knowing the outcome of our hilarious forways into prankdom. smash\m/

from smashthegas :

When I used to work in Leeds (I'm back home in Scouseland now) I worked in a place where the executives had their own (frankly pristine loos, furnished with showers and Kittensoft(tm) bog roll) so I used to do my bit for the workers and try to build up a really smelly poo to do in there, despite the exec bogs being "strictly off limits." Now admittedly there was no reason on earth for me to tell you that but as it's 333am and I just read your diary in its entireity I thought I should leave my mark, as it were.

from falo :

Hi Slinky. Somehow I missed the entry with the voting, but the story was great. More would even be better!

from sunshine0221 :

There's just nothing like a good Toilet Tale. I vote for #'s 1-3.

from off-trac :

Hi there .. remember me? Just wanted to say congratulations to you and your wife re:#3! And you let her sleep as much as she likes!! Are you going to find out the sex by a scan or leave it as a surprise? Pop over and visit me on blogger sometime!

from tarkis :

You are great,,, what a lovely read. I laughed in spite of my dismal day. Thank you.

from fightn4life :

I just read "Paid to Ride a Roller Coaster." What a hilarious read. Your diary is awesome; I am looking forward to seeing new entries. Congratulations on your soon to be new arrival. Don�t you love it? Sandyz

from fightn4life :

Followed your awesome banner and love your diary. Such a fun read. I had to laugh when reading about asking your little guy not to tell mom. Guess because I have three kids and they always had �secrets� from dear ole dad. Now the grandkids keep my secrets. Hint�kid�s do not jump rope like I did without getting all tangled up and almost strung up in the air. Also if you are short one rope holder do not use a tree as a second person. (A wonderful don�t tell your mommy about this story) Sandyz

from salambander :

I think I am becoming addicted to your writings. I went into withdrawl when I went on holiday and had no access to the internet. Egad. Not something I'd like to live through again.

from salambander :

Why buy newspapers when you can read this? If everyone on D-land wrote like this, maybe I would reconsider assaulting the angsty pre-teens with dead bricks. I might just decide to assault them with live bricks.

from off-trac :

Hi Slinky.. Every time I read your diary, I admire your wife more and more! I live in Greenwich. (I'm the woman you chased down the carriage!! HeHe!)- I've left diaryland and I'm now at http://euro-trac.blogspot.com - drop on by for a visit and see my nice photos.. p.s. where in the the UK are you??

from falo :

Hey Slinky. Thanks for the commentary on the state of affairs over in England. The rucksack in the Tube specifically. Best, O.

from gumphood :

Glad you're back and don't get off track. I would personally love to get paid to ride coasters.

from off-trac :

Glad you're back!

from falo :

Hey there Slinky. Just stopping in to wish you well and ask for an update(7/7/2005). Best, O.

from off-trac :

You're funny! HeHe!- Yeah I want to know when you update your diary! (plus, reading yours makes me realise what an easy life I really have!)

from off-trac :

Hi there! You are the first Brit that I have found on Diaryland! Are there others?

from falo :

Flange Monkey

from momma-at-17 :

Aww thanks so much. How old are your two?

from momma-at-17 :

Thanks soo much.

from momma-at-17 :

May I add you to my buddy list? I enjoy reading, I like your writing.

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