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I leave my notes unanswered for entirely too long sometimes - apologies 'bout that. But, thank you for your note, and thank you for your lovely comments.

from breathe-salt :

thank you so much for your note; it's really the best type of comment i could receive on my writing. i believe that's the point of poetry, ya know? for it to mean something unique to each person who reads it. it hits everyone in a different spot. also: your writing is refreshingly blunt and honest. good luck. <3

from shoot-down :

from defaults :

yes, it's true. but please try not to write that anywhere again. i'm trying to keep that knowledge away from prying eyes.

from axde :

you should tell him all of that.

from amazinfuckup :

Not at all, I think it's totally valid to want to go out and experience other people. That is kind of part of my decision, too. Veil is my first really serious, long-term boyfriend and we are talking marriage and kids and the whole shebang, but I am only twenty. I want to know what other people are like too!

from axde :

yes that was the exact conversation i had with him. it would be so nice to know someone who doesn't categorize or siphon anyone's thoughts into their own heads, just to see what the product would look like.

from amazinfuckup :

It was building for a long time. He's a good person, he's very sweet and caring, but he's also pretty lazy and doesn't have a lot of dreams or goals for the future. He can't save money and he needs to do some growing up if we're going to have a real future together. I feel terrible about asking him to move out, but it was obvious that he wasn't growing anymore with me, and that he wasn't going to. I guess I feel like this is what has to happen if we are going to be together in the future, in the long-run. I avoided it for a long time, though. I'd say this has been coming for like a year, and I put it off because being alone is scary and I didn't want to hurt him. It is shitty right now, but hopefully we can avoid some pain later.

from gypsyxdance :

yr right, you know; i wouldn't believe it coming from them if they said they were anyway. and ya, i say i'm okay when i'm not too. i think it's human nature.

from amazinfuckup :

I think you are right. Algebra doesn't lead to happiness. Reading comprehension doesn't even lead to happiness. There is a lot of emphasis on knowledge, but they leave out why it's important, and then don't understand when they end up with confused children growing up into confused children.

from amazinfuckup :

I dunno, I am back and forth on the belief thing. Some days I do, some days I'm just open to the idea, some days I don't at all. I guess it's not so much my belief that makes me feel weak, it's WHY I believe--and right now, I believe because I need to. Sucks. But thanks for trying to cheer me up just the same :).

from neeeeek :

What helped me against depression was talking to friends, sex, tons of good food and sports and watching random online movies til my ears and eys bled out. It will soon get you your energy back. Or maybe a holiday. In case that stuff doesn't work and you can't change your life style you will certainly need a bit medication. Depression is a disease. Only the mild forms you can cure yourself, in the harder forms doctors are needed. It's also dangerous cause you can get suicidal easily. But yeah, everyone knows that. No need to tell ya. Don't ya give up. It will be all okay but you must take action for yourself. Get going. What helped me as well, was a strict daily routine and a diet with vitamins and not so much animal fat. And getting offline, hiding the internet cable from myself. Whenever i am sad i eat an apple

from neeeeek :

Never give yourself and your way up. It's a tough time. Bite yourself through it. In easse. Step by step. Day by dy, like the squirrel that gets nuts for the winter. You can do it. And if you can't you can right now you can get help right now so you can again. Right? Just an idea.

from neeeeek :

Good luck.

from neeeeek :

Hello there. Can't your borrow the money or apply for a scholarship? Checked all possible options? Often smaller insitutions have scholarships almost noone applies for. Maybe it's worth a try.

from punkedupqt :

what u need is a nice fat blunt. mhmm.

from gypsyxdance :

i'm not even in college yet and i have to work two jobs. it's ridiculous how expensive it's getting to just live these days. good luck xx

from sharpsecret :

that entry relates to me so much, it really helps to read and think someone else is living this with me.

from andthisair :

Thank you for the note. :)

from complexmynds :

This girl I care very much for told me her boyfriend got her a cell phone adapter for her car for Christmas. It's okay. I guess it's a natural law for boyfriends to give shitty gifts. I plan on giving my future girlfriend a calendar on our anniversary.

from dimstar :

I understand what you are going through... It gets easier with time, though I know it seems like it never will :( ((hug))

from lunarsea :

its hard to find a sense of purpose.

from chalkstain :

they're just getting paid. and we're just doing what makes others happy. a bit of a twisted system really.

from thatgirlx :

And I thought I was the only one... ((hugs))

from amazinfuckup :

Thank you. :)

from those-words :

your diary is beautiful. I hope that you keep posting.. LFA - Love From Australia

from captainron :

You'll survive just fine. Follow your own path and don't let people try to change you. Most of all realize that you are special and appreciate yourself for being that way.

from rainforme :

thank you!

from complexmynds :

It pisses me off even more to know that if I even tried, it would catch up to me too and I'd only hate myself more. It's a lose-lose situation. I swear.

from captainron :

Do yourself a favor, wait until it is going to be special. I've never heard any one say damn, I wish I'd gotten that out of the way sooner, but I know plenty of people you have regrets because they didn't wait. Remember, you are worth it. Don't cave just because it is the easiest thing to do. Do it when you know it is the right thing to do and you will know....

from captainron :

I'm sorry, but you are wrong. Depression isn't something you bring on yourself, it's something that happens to you. You can't give yourself cancer. You also can't give yourself depression. Depression is real, it's chemical and it's evil. It does thing to make itself win and for you to lose. Once you have it, it's kind of like being in a hole. The sky seems so far away and no matter how strong you think you are, you can't get out by yourself. You need to scream for help and let someone throw you a rope. It's not weakness to look for help when you need it. It actually takes a lot more strenght than giving up and letting this foreign thing control your life and steal your happiness. What you're doing isn't working right? Then make the decision to change the program. Tell the right people. Get your brain back in balance. Let the sunshine back in. it sounds like you have so much going for you... Some people are ugly, and stupid don't have any talents. None of those things can be fixed. You have all of those and something that can be fixed. It's your call. Good Luck, Ron

from lunarsea :

nobody has ever said anything that kind about my writing. thank you so much. i wish i still had it in me. now i am off to read your diary in its entirety. take care x

from pollys-pins :

Your last entry really got to me. Surviving.

from life4rent :

hey, thanks for the add. i don't update here as much as i should sometimes but its nice 2 know theres stil people on here. feels like its dead on here at times. <333

from complexmynds :

I'm sure you're a lovely girl. I've only had one girlfriend my entire life but I don't count her because it was meaningless. This was 5 years ago too. I'd have to agree that deep down I'm very scared of the opposite sex. Anyway how long have I been in your buddy list? I feel bad because I would've put you in mine if I had noticed

from painted-eyes :

Omigosh, I remember the "Fearless" series with Gaia. I always imagined what it'd be like to be her. I think my fears make up who I am sometimes.

from painted-eyes :

=D Good show, but I like your writing nonetheless.

from painted-eyes :

I added one of your entries as one of my favorites.

from chalkstain :

it doesn't have to be so bad this year you know, not if we don't let it be.

from chalkstain :

postsecret. the underground obssession. you picked the secrets i picked too. ((my old diary username was cheekyash. this is where i've gotten to))

from xxplaydeadxx :

It's definitely possible. I care about you, but I don't KNOW you. I only know what you post in here. But I still care. :)

from favorforyou :

Don't be so sad you should smile for all the darkness you endure you give others light You help more people than you know and more people than what you believe want to help you So lift your chin stop looking at the looming clouds ahead and look at the warm sun behind them You're an interesting person and the world would be a less interesting place without you I'll drop to your site again sometime check up on you :)

from thatgirlx :

I was just browsing through your diary and a lot of the things you write, it's almost as if we share a brain or something. I hope you don't mind my reading. Take care.

from xxplaydeadxx :

yeeeah. that shit...if god IS real, he doesn't care. the end. um. and i know people who talk about it do it. i know. take care. ♥Danielle.

from xxplaydeadxx :

bulimia fucking sucks. trust me...

from cheekyash :

i only realised now that you added me, but from what i've read in your diary of mine, i can see it's been a while. thanks for the add. i hope you're happy.

from xxplaydeadxx :

don't give up, no matter what. ♥

from xxplaydeadxx :

i added you to my favorites. i've read a quite a few of your entries. i really like your diary. take care. <3 danielle

from lifeisempty :

thanks for adding me, i added you, lauren

from rainforme :

thanks for adding me. to sit back and enjoy life is a gift. don't beat yourself up over it.

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