DiaryLand members area

Don't you have a degree in something? Maybe you could teach (although that may well be worse than what you are doing now). You might just have to settle for becoming a rich and famous celeb and then I can say I knew you when...

from madamefromag :

That's quite the cake! I'm sure she'll love it

from allegedwife :

that isn't a cake! it's art. well done kiddo. (ps.... don't get too pissed tonight or you'll ruin all your good word by having words)

from madamefromag :

Details, I need details.

from allegedwife :

hasn't work always been crap? same shit, different bucket. stop writing halfhearted cryptic semi-up-dates. details boy, details

from sketty :

Ooh, Sutton Park. About 10 mins from where I used to live! ....and for the record - I've never eaten curry either. curry hurts the mouth and arse so in my mind it would be foolish to eat. I don't believe myself to be foolish :)

from yamaa :

Damn son! You're looking very good these days. Is that even a *gasp* smile I see lurking about those lips?

from sketty :

Ooh, how cryptic. Who?!

from allegedwife :

You fell off a pogostick?!?

from yamaa :

Aren't vacations grand?

from yamaa :

Don't forget to leave out a bowl of cream & ask them nicely

from madamefromag :

Oh man that sucks! It is definately a good idea to try to get the place that inspected it to pay for the repairs. Do you have something like Car Fax there that tracks damages according to the VIN #? It seems like a shady deal so there might be more problems you aren't aware of yet.

from yamaa :

It may be worth the money to have an attorney draft a letter for you.

from yamaa :

I feel your pain. I spazzed out last weekend & wouldn't wear any of my Mongolian dels (except for 3:00 am privy runs, they make great robes) because I didn't have the correct boots to go with the outfits. *sigh* Had to make do with my early Persian stuff.

from yamaa :

Next time I'll do a photo essay of bad costuming. Last weekend's winner was the pastel green satiny polyester pseudo chiton, worn with platform sandles.

from yamaa :

Vinegar works well on rust

from sketty :

I can't believe you called me a tosser and condemned me to be miserable forever!

from sketty :

Don't worry, tonight I ran off and hid because the pizza delivery guy showed up. I'm gonna make one hell of a copper :(

from allegedwife :

That is soooooo cute. Was the widdle popie scared of the nasty cybermen? AWWWW

from sketty :

"Women...you can't live with them and you can't keep them in a box under your bed." Yeah, but only if you cut off their arms and legs

from yamaa :

Well, you can, but they start to stink the place up after a bit

from yamaa :

Rats! Do tell about the Cybermen....

from madamefromag :

Thanks. It really is exactly average price and size for here. The neighbors are really quite close too. You should see some of the $750,000 - $1 Million dollar pads down the road - 6,000 square feet, 3-4 car garage, on one to two acres. My house is but a maids quarters compared to them.

from sketty :

Crush my beaudeeeeful bug? You utter bastid!

from sketty :

Y'silly bastid, he was asking her to get him some Golden Virginia tobacco

from yamaa :

Cave a few skulls for me, would ya?

from sketty :

Happy Birthday your popeliness

from yamaa :

You're just a pup. I can remember the first moon walk.

from madamefromag :

Come now! Certainly you have more then me.

from madamefromag :

Thanks. If you weren't so far away, I'd ask to borrow your muscles too.

from yamaa :

Thanks for checking, DollFace! In "Bizzy back soon" mode. Will have time for update later today. Smooches to you & V.

from yamaa :

And people wonder why the cooks at feasts get so cranky.

from yamaa :

Excellent!

from maddeningly :

what was that about the person from michigan? am i the australian friend of which you speak? what's the go there?

from yamaa :

Oh dude - you may be best off steering away from that Swingers club. "But hon, I just want *you*!" you can tell her. We all lie sometime and it could save you much grief.

from madamefromag :

I'm confused about this cartoon uproar too. I suppose if I could actually see the damn thing then I could gave the level of offensiveness, but the US media has decided to play the morality card and not show it out of respect. I guess I'm wondering how it is any different then all the jokes about priests deflowering little boys.

from madamefromag :

What a very cool ring! I am so happy for you and V.

from yamaa :

Details! We're going to want details of the presentation!

from allegedwife :

Why does she need a "god phone" when she has her own personal private pope?

from yamaa :

Is Advantage available in the UK? It's a monthly treatment for fleas that I highly recommend.

from yamaa :

It sounds like she is afraid of this relationship suceeding

from allegedwife :

Looks like we can all uncross our fingers now. Just for future reference, kiddo...women like to know everything....no secrets (only WE are allowed to have secrets!)

from yamaa :

EEKKK! Ok, it�s bad, but not the end of the world. Keep talking to V, even if it seems she isn�t listening. Apologize for not telling her sooner (..pardon my eyeroll here, I�m not a fan of full disclosure at the start of a relationship�) and keep telling her how she makes you feel. And how you want HER and no other in your life. Ask her what you can do to make this (�really non-existent�) situation more tenable. Good luck Doll Face.

from yamaa :

It makes me smile to read about you & V.

from maddeningly :

you're a good boy, voodoo. v is a lucky woman. thanks for all the encouraging & empathetic words. much love *mwah*

from madamefromag :

Why celebrate? Because it is a four day weekend! Any excuse to get paid time off of work is OK with me.

from yamaa :

You don't look grim! You look, dare I say, almost happy in today's photo. And fabulous in leather, too. V's a lucky woman.

from sketty :

Just send for it on-line if you are too shy to go in. As for the dog, he LOVES having transvestisism forced upon him :)

from sketty :

http://www.annsummers.com/single.asp?gid=7&cat=2&pid=1840 This is the delux model, there is an even better one too if you wanted to go the whole hog. And on that note I will leave this conversation....

from madamefromag :

It might be a bit far, but when you are finished cleaning, perhaps you'd like to do some cleaning chez moi.

from madamefromag :

Thank you.

from yamaa :

Squee! I*SO*VERY*HAPPY*FOR*YOU!

from madamefromag :

WOW! Did I read that right?! Congratulations to you!

from yamaa :

Bhwuh? Huh? Howfuckingfantastic! This is amazing, awesome news! Congratulations!

from maddeningly :

HOLY FUCKING JESUS! i have to sms. OHMIGOD! :):):):)

from madamefromag :

That sounds awful. I hope you get better sleep tonight.

from maddeningly :

things are sounding effing awesome on the V front :) (heh. so to speak). one question though, why does being spanked (specifically) equate to being twisted? i've only done it once properly, but i swear, just the memory of it makes me .. moist :p being handcuffed whilst being spanked makes my head swim with lust. ohmygod. !!!!

from yamaa :

Hugs & head rubs to you. Sorry work is so rough. Bastards.

from yamaa :

Ah dollface, quick and clean is always the best.

from madamefromag :

Can you do the breakup via the phone or something to avoid a scene? She cannot be that attached, you've only been together a few times.

from yamaa :

No, see, you need to ditch the dweebs and THEN go see the movie. And then the sex. Or sex, then movie. Priorities, you know

from yamaa :

Mmmmm, Serenity. Must...go...see...again....

from madamefromag :

That's a good sign. I think she's taking you to meet the "family" so to speak. If things go well at the party, I'll bet you're in.

from yamaa :

Black leather *SWOON*

from maddeningly :

i'm with yamaa .. SINBAD!!! :) Also, good the FUCK on V! I can't quite get the enthusiasm up for discouraging public masturbation, but i know that if i DIDN'T like it, i would have been one angry munchkin had that happened to me. But yeh. I love public masturbation :) I wanted to stop to watch a guy once but my sister and cousin wouldn't let me :(

from yamaa :

Putting a vote in for Sinbad....bare chested, puffy panted Sinbad....

from yamaa :

Hell SP, I think *I'm* in love with V! Or at least very serious lust.

from madamefromag :

One last idea...how about going as C. Montgomery Burns. All you would need is some powder to whiten the hair and a blue business suit. He does sport a goatee ocassionally when being particularily evil.

from sketty :

Black yourself up, glue a strip of black fur to your head, spray some big cheap chains gold to look like bling and wear some dungarees. Instant BA Baraccus/Mr T (horrifyingly, I did that for a fancy dress party YEARS ago and made all the kids cry)

from madamefromag :

Here are a few ideas for goateed characters for the party: Vincent Price, Shaggy (Scooby Doo's sidekick), Colonel Saunders (Kentucky Fried Chicken guy) and William Shakespeare (might need a wig for that one and maybe some tights).

from sketty :

Shit, sorry you've lost so much precious stuff. If my memory serves me correctly, didn't you copy some of those messages into a previous diary?

from madamefromag :

My mother always warned me to stay away from evil supervilans. ;-)

from yamaa :

Thanks, Dollface. I'm hoping to get off the angst train soon. On a positive note, it is very sunshine-y here & The Husband brought me a wonderfully gaudy hat (It lights up!) from the conference he went to this weekend.

from madamefromag :

You're quite a hit with the ladies. Having them both in the same room at the same time though could well prove fatal, unless of course you are dressed like that photo, then no one would mess with you. On a totally different note, a web design course.....seriously?

from maddeningly :

voodoo.. i gots nothing but a 'hey' and a *mwah* :)

from yamaa :

Thanks for the spit take this morning. Tha was spot on...

from sketty :

Ah, sounds like someone got shagged good and proper again then!

from allegedwife :

There is something very wrong (particularly for a man in your position) starting a sentence with "The fellow I stabbed to death earlier gave me an Egyptian cigar....". But at least you had your ring kissed by the great unwashed.

from sketty :

Great news about your friend, I always love to hear news like that. As for Norfolk, I have to agree with you 100%. I unfortunately lived there in the desolate fens for 9 months and I swear NOT ONE person hung the right way! Bunch of freaks...

from yamaa :

...and once you're filthy, filthy rich you'll hire me as your personal assistant. The Husband can be your stateside legal advisor and PR department. I *like* this idea!

from madamefromag :

Ah yes, the lotto, AKA the hillbilly retirement plan.

from maddeningly :

hey voodoo, do you say you won't have children because you don't want them, or because you don't think you'll be in a position to? AND. Lj is better. You should come too :) AND. It's never too late a time to message me. AND. i want a donut. or, doughnut. whichever you prefer. but mine had better be covered in chocolate and have jam inside :)

from madamefromag :

Sure, make me wait until the end! Just a few gold chains on the neck and you'd outdo that other guy. You could take the bells in on the pants and pair the jacket with a pink shirt and that get up could double as a 80s style Miami Vice type of get up. Night fever, night fever.......

from allegedwife :

The scariest thing about that photo is that you actually look good in the white suit.

from madamefromag :

Waiting............. Unless of course you're teasing. ;)

from madamefromag :

Now I've got the BeeGees stuck in my head.

from sketty :

Damn, trust me! It's just like those sex dreams that start to get good just as the alarm goes off :(

from sketty :

Do it any way. Thought I'd been abandoned now that you've got women falling everywhere at your feet :)

from allegedwife :

She had a fling with James Masters? And then you? I am doubly jealous. *turns green*

from madamefromag :

Thanks for the support.

from yamaa :

*smack to the back of your dumb bald head* A note from experience - most airbeds make those horrible squeaky/squacky noises when you have exuberant sex on them.

from yamaa :

Damn son, you had a Mary Sue in your tent!

from yamaa :

So far we know she has good taste in men...

from yamaa :

TEASE!

from maddeningly :

NO! i want the gory sex stuff first, voodoo :p

from madamefromag :

Hmmmm... Las Vegas and Wookies, now there's an idea.

from sketty :

Now you never mentioned the marriage proposal! C'mon, fess up and spill the beans

from sketty :

Red hot poker up the backside? Sounds like the work of the baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells....

from yamaa :

*snerk* Armor makers are the same everyplace.

from yamaa :

Hmmm, I know that many envoys were sent to European leaders, especially the Pope, with letters ("Bow to us now and we won't kill you...)but I'm not sure if there were many (any!) Mongol mercenaries. What style of bow was he using?

from sketty :

Well, thank god the ol' nose picking finger is going to live!

from sketty :

Ooh, you were definitely born to play a villian (erm, lovely as you are)

from sketty :

Oooh, now you wouldn't find me being as helpful as to amend a booking without making life miserable for someone :)

from madamefromag :

I know you are not near London, but please stay safe. That said, I wonder if it was really the French responsible for the bombs since they are so sour about the Olympics. I don't know how Jacques can get away with the insult about cooking. Yes they have some fabulous delicacies (sp?), but slimy snails and duck livers, that is what you eat when you are stranded somewhere remote and that is all that is available. GAK!

from sketty :

Well you sound all fancy and kitted up for action on all fronts so good luck. As for me, ignore me, I'm just a grumpy, miserable git who shouldn't be allowed to post her thoughts at the ungodly hour of 6.30am. I didn't feel half so bad later on in the day :)

from yamaa :

Helpful hint: leave a trail of pretty baubles leading into your tent for the females to follow...trails of chocolate & booze can also be enticing

from madamefromag :

Don't worry pregnancy isn't contagious. ;-)

from madamefromag :

The formatting alone is a dead give away that the letter is probably not legit. Spammers generally cannot spell and format properly. Wait! I guess that means I'm a spammer.

from sketty :

Heh heh, cheers for the self-less offer to help one less fortunate :)

from sketty :

I feel the same. Really down and depressed, mainly cause I've got to go to that shit-hole I work in tomorrow. Oh, and I haven't had a boyfriend let alone a shag in years :(

from madamefromag :

You sound like the voice of experience.

from sketty :

I could see myself glassy eyed, rocking back and forth slowly whilst singing that song to myself over and over again in a flat dead voice,I really can...

from yamaa :

Sometimes it's a plus for the woman to be taller. You don't end up with a shoulder in your face during sex. Well, some sex...

from madamefromag :

Crocodile Dundee - now there's a man that got a lot of @ss.

from yamaa :

Uh, thanks for making me do a spit take with a mouth full of lemon chicken with that last bit of entry.

from madamefromag :

What's this about a pointy nose? At least it didn't get sunburned with the cap on.

from sketty :

Well I think you are a spoil-sport for not posting the skirt pics :( Just off to check out the other pics now I've read about your nose :)

from allegedwife :

loved all the photos of your weekend (and you don't have a big nose....you have a HUGE nose)

from yamaa :

...that your S/O can borrow your shoes?

from yamaa :

You know what they say about men with big noses....

from sketty :

Hmmmm, I like men in skirts. Dresses are best tho - those big oversized ones with boots on. Sigh, a bloke in a dress does things for me. You gotta post a pic of yourself in the skirt now you've mentioned it mate...

from yamaa :

If she asks for help with her chemise please do follow up with the poor girl

from madamefromag :

Sounds like you were a hit with the ladies last weekend.

from sketty :

Well if you've literally lost yer 'old man' then perhaps it's for the best mate. You have been a little over occupied with him of late ;)

from madamefromag :

You look quite fierce defending the castle. Hope you're feeling better.

from yamaa :

You & the boys look very fierce. I would run away.

from yamaa :

Fingers crossed...she knows her ghers from her yurts...like her already...

from sketty :

Well, unfortunately I've learned that there is no way to drive sexily but there are several ways to almost crash into an old woman UNsexily. I've since discovered that he's a nurse so my gaydar is bleeping :(

from sketty :

Have a hug (a cyber one I'm afraid) from me. Stuff like that hits you sometimes mate...

from allegedwife :

Funny accent? You don't have a funny accent! By comparison with scousers, you sound almost posh (almost).

from madamefromag :

That is a hell of a lot of food. While your event is a bit far away from here, it would be worth the trip just to enjoy food that someone else had to cook, instead of me. I had chili last night for dinner too, but thankfully I do not seem to be having the *ahem* problems.

from purpleworm :

fire? i don't remember eating fire!

from sketty :

Loaves and fishes, that's all I can suggest mate.

from yamaa :

Rude? From you? Heaven forfend!!

from yamaa :

Insane in the good, fun way or the bad, frightening, "Ahh she's going to eat my face!" way?

from sketty :

Hey, I'm glad I'm not the only snobbish, elitist bastard around here. The world is full of scrotes and arseholes if you ask me...

from yamaa :

Great...now I have to find that picture of Ms. Hood & the wolf, pervy thing that I am...

from allegedwife :

It is a fun game called "stacks on". Surely you play it in the mother country!

from sketty :

I always like hearing stories of people overcoming cancer. Several people within my family have kicked the proverbial bucket from the big C (including my father) and it is perhaps one of my biggest fears. Heck, it even got Linda McCartney and she was the healthiest, vegetarianist, richest person going!!!!! So well done that man (hair or not)

from madamefromag :

ROFL! Check it out - http://www.dialcorp.com/index.cfm?page_id=56 (can I even put a link in here? *scratches head*) It really isn't alien or even sinister. I think it is made out of some sort of mineral rocks or something, unlike that chemical raid stuff that will probably give you a third eyeball or something - now that's futuristic.

from madamefromag :

Sprinkle some Borax powder on the outside of the doorway. The ants won't cross it. I actually sprinkle it all around the perimeter of my house to keep them away. I hope you can find it there. They sell it as a laundry whitener or booster here so it is by the detergents in the store.

from madamefromag :

Those are some nice pointy shoes you have there. Don't poke someone's eye out. ;-)

from purpleworm :

I'm told by several relible sources that it's not the length but what you do with it. Personally I think that's what people with short boots say so aye go with the long ones.

from sketty :

I go for 1. The extra long ones look like fishing waders

from yamaa :

Boot 2. Boot 1 makes the thighs look funny.

from madamefromag :

Number 2! I like the strappy things (sorry I don't know the technical term) on the bottom.

from purpleworm :

I think you should get 2 boots so you don't walk lopsided (set #2 gets my vote from what I can see)

from madamefromag :

OUCH!!! It pains me just looking at those marks. I hope they look worse then they feel.

from sketty :

Them be some perdy impressive bruises you got there.

from yamaa :

Yee-Ouch! The things we do for "fun".

from spacefrog :

Hi there... I really dig this spacepope pic on your diary!

from madamefromag :

Good luck with the speed dating.

from madamefromag :

A trip to the dentist or perhaps sleeping on a bed of nails is preferable to having to see Celine Dion - yuck!

from madamefromag :

Be careful what you wish for.

from sketty :

I think you need some bromide or something 'cause yer 'man' is gonna get you into big trouble at this rate...

from purpleworm :

hmm are you really really sure you want naked pictures of "all" your readership?

from sketty :

Awwww, I LOVE a good secret! ....and yes I survived my trial by public transport, just.

from allegedwife :

oh shuddup. pedant.

from madamefromag :

Happy Birthday!

from allegedwife :

What do you mean Nietzsche ended up insane! Have you tried to read his books? the man was ALWATS insane!!

from purpleworm :

Happy Birthday to ya, & yer never as old as you think

from allegedwife :

Many many happies Kiddo.

from yamaa :

Honestly, I was too stupid to deserve to make it to 25 years. I'm so very glad that I learned to make better choices about who I associated with.

from sketty :

Well, as I'm away in purgatory over the weekend I will wish you a very happy burfday for Sunday now!

from sketty :

You seem to be obsessed that I need to kill my diary. Maybe you are right and I should say goodbye to everyone...

from allegedwife :

You are so NOT going to heaven, kiddo.

from yamaa :

*sigh* Sometimes I miss those days of waking up and wondering "Where am I?", "Who are these people?" and the very famous "When were those photos of me taken?!?"

from yamaa :

You were suffering from "Seemed Like the Right Thing to Do at the Time" syndrome. I used to get very, very intense bouts of that when I was drinking heavily. Hugs to you, you poor wretched thing.

from madamefromag :

Wow your holyness! You've rendered me speechless.

from sketty :

Ach, your life is like a road crash in slow motion Pope!

from purpleworm :

all I can say is OUCH!

from allegedwife :

you being a drunken idiot? how out of character!

from vanoonoo :

lol- I think you invited yourself and convinced me that I wanted you to come and visit ;) whichever though - delighted to have you - looking forward to it

from allegedwife :

You are getting really slack at updating here young man. I can remember when you were as regular as clockwork. Just because you are out playing flirty games with desperate strangers is no excuse to neglect your loyal fans. Humph

from madamefromag :

I have no advice, but I wish you the best of luck.

from yamaa :

I don't know! Damn this technological age! Ruffo & I have only been in contact via telephone & e-mail. Which is a shame because I look faboo in a 40's style suit and heels. And, of course, a hat with a veil. I hired him to track down assets so we can get a judgment paid for work.

from sketty :

Ok; make sure you don't have cabbage stuck between your teeth, you haven't eaten garlic and your flies are done up. Personally I think that you should go in your 'historical baddie' get up. Women love a bad guy ;)

from madamefromag :

A little conditioner might have prevented those holes you know.

from vanoonoo :

they must be your religious easter pants as they are so holy

from sketty :

Talk about my wind problem - at least I haven't blown the seat outta my pants!!!!! ;)

from yamaa :

So very glad you made it home safe, holey underpants & all. How did the speed date evening go?

from sketty :

Not your intention but you've made me feel better about living in God's Waiting Room. It's kinda comforting to know that there are people everywhere experiencing the same sort of relationshit famine as I am :)

from madamefromag :

Of course I couldn't forget about your baldness. Maybe the ladies would like to rub your head for good luck. Now there's a line you might try. You might get smacked though. *reaching out to beard* Yes it feels lovely, but you cannot go wrong with conditioner. Get one of those sample sized bottles.

from madamefromag :

Me again! About the beard, they are attractive but scratchy, which is why women don't like them. Try using some conditioner, the kind you'd use on your head to make things less picky.

from madamefromag :

The quote sounds bible-ish but I know that isn't the source. It also sounds a bit existential so here is my guess - J.P. Sartre.

from sketty :

Well I've 'googled' it, I've 'quote-finder'ed it and I've pondered upon it and I just don't know where yer quote came from so I'm going to plump on it coming from a Tolkien tome. Anyway, sod the cryptic quotes - HOW'D THE SPEED DATING GO? Oh yeah, yer right by the way, I've seen pics of you and I should have realised you wouldn't know how to do 'virginal' :-)

from omorfia :

ok voodoo. you gots mail :p

from omorfia :

in loving memory of the omorfia the DIARY, voodoo. i'm never going back there, you know. NEVER. I am however, on the verge of starting something new. I think. Maybe. Wanna come play? You know, if i do.

from omorfia :

oi! where's the loving tribute?

from omorfia :

i am LOVING your speed dating ideas for fun, voodoo. I keep smiling .. nodding .. then snickering to myself. Of course, i'm snickering to MYSELF because there is no one else to snicker to or with. But that's beside the point. HEY! I noticed just now that you don't have 'omorfia' listed as a favourite. And that i don't write there anymore is NO excuse. You should be putting my name on the list with some sort of loving "in memory of" tribute, damnit. You do love me, don't you voodoo? Even though i'm one of those damn crazy internet bitches? If you hadn't chucked such a hissy when you were in Oz, you could have experienced in it real time :p

from vanoonoo :

lol sorry - yeah itwas an odd message - i thought I was being funny having jsut read your diary and the trial and tribulations of some of your dates. email vanoonoo at gmail dot com and I will send you the key to my diary :)

from vanoonoo :

hallo - I thought I shouldtell you I am reading you. I am onmedication so dont get excited and ask me out thinking I am norml oranything - i am another one of those internet wimin innit ;)

from madamefromag :

Boy do I hate those forced socialization things. Perhaps you could pretend to be that brain eater fellow. Then again, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you get lucky. *cough* You can interpret that anyway in which I do not get a smack. ;-)

from sketty :

Perhaps you could ask them what their most filthy fantasy is and then look shocked and virginal when they tell you. Crap I know, but they might pick you just so that they could 'break you in'.

from yamaa :

You could have fun on so many different levels. Think of the humor value!

from purpleworm :

Lean over with a puzzled look on your face, then give a sharp poke with your finger, lean back in your chair, look releived & say "It's OK you're not one of them" Not sure about a UK speed dating eveningbut it sure did liven up an afternoon of public transit over here for me.

from madamefromag :

How ironic! I wonder if the UK would like the NRA members and violent wacked out high school kids with a propensity for weapons.

from yamaa :

Sir, would you like some cheese with that whine?

from sketty :

Heh heh, there's NOTHING like mentally scarring a child for the rest of it's life is there?

from yamaa :

Yeah, the cruise is a romantic idea. I was just being a bitch, keeping him dangling like that. The Irish expats in the bands were always baffled about what went on here for StPs day

from sketty :

Tee hee...Mr Wimpy Wimpmeister (I can say that as I'm 200 miles away :) .....Ok, ok then, I concede that the tattoo excuse is a valid one. I just like calling big blokes names when they can't get me :)

from yamaa :

Bruises build character.

from allegedwife :

wtf is a confirmation name? Just how many names does one little pom need?

from sketty :

You're a wealth of knowledge Popey, I'll give you that. As for the other thing - I was hoping that the red thread incident had slipped out of everyone's consciousness by now :(

from sketty :

I'm bouncing back thanks. About to enter a horrifying entry in my diary. I suspect that I might be over-sharing so I wouldn't read it if I were you :)

from sketty :

I just received an email from someone which made me think of you and all the psycho women you have dated in the past. It is the answer a child gave to an interviewer when asked what they would do if they went out on a date with someone and it didn't go very well: "I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." - Craig, age 9

from yamaa :

You are so lucky that there is an ocean between us, otherwise I would give you *such* a smack. You should go to the speed dating. Real, live women looking for menfolk. The women will be just as worried about rejection as you are.

from madamefromag :

I cannot answer for all women. Perhaps that one was technologically challenged or just a *itch.

from sketty :

Heck Spacey, I dunno what to say about women and the stuff we do to you fellas. All I can offer is that we ARE women and I guess it's our job - simple as that mate :)

from sketty :

MMMmmmmmmmmm carrots :)

from yamaa :

Ah man, not the good ones. Aluminum poles are a tool of the devil.

from yamaa :

Did you see the site for Tentsmiths? They make high quality tents. The Husband has a huge jones on for one of their bell wedges. Also http://www.currentmiddleages.org is a great site for tracking down tent info, both retailers and how-to articles.

from purpleworm :

LOL I like your sense of the absurb, I found your diary through yamaa's. Was thinking I should add you to my buddy list but thought maybe I'd let you decide if I should since mine is x-rated, you know I should have asked yamaa too brb

from sketty :

Oh maaaan, wouldn't it be great if you ended up as a modern mystery in the Fortean Times? There would be all kinds of conspiracy theories about who you were sword fighting with when you combusted (and ended up as half a leg with a medieval shoe on it). They'd be talking aliens, men in black the lot. You'd be famous dude!

from yamaa :

Don't worry about SHC, most cases involve people with much more body fat than you have.

from madamefromag :

Sorry your date was a bust. Sounds like she has too many excuses and not enough phone dialing capability. As for the spa, I'd love to get one too. I just don't know how I'd convince myself to remove my clothing to get into it when it is freezing outside.

from sketty :

Ah, I'd give her up as an inconsiderate waste of space your popeliness. There's plenty more fish in the sea and not all of them have become horrifically mutated 'cause the French like exploding nuclear bombs down there...

from madamefromag :

"I see dead people." Can't........stop.......laughing.

from madamefromag :

What sketty said! I think you and your friend could set up these women with the my wack job ex who tried to steal from my friend and insisted that I pay for everything or maybe the guy who thought Poison was the best band ever and would only wear Poison T-shirts or better yet the fellow that couldn't keep it in his pants. Although I would see if she is agreeable to rescheduling before calling it a loss. Kids are germ factories. Before child, I had one or two colds per year and nothing more. Last year, I had pink eye twice, 4 stomach bugs, too many colds to count and pleurisy. Keep fishing, you'll find something.

from sketty :

Hey, you should fix your ex-crazies up with mine! I'm sure they'd love the guy who cries all the time 'cause he never got to be a carpenter or the one who told me that the best experience he ever had was being run over by a juggernaut!

from yamaa :

Bring her a flower, wear clean chonies & have fun! Booze, booze works too...

from yamaa :

Have you met her in real time, and then asked her out?

from madamefromag :

I hope things go well. I laughed at the barking mad comment. I think we all have to go through a streak of crazies before we get a good one. Hopefully, you've done your time and this will be a good date.

from yamaa :

The thing about the 1918 flu was that it killed young, healthy people, not the usual young/old/infirm. In the US, recruits in prime condition were dieing witihn a week or so of coming up sick. Very odd pattern.

from madamefromag :

I thought you would get a kick out of that! ;-)

from yamaa :

Did they come from Historic Enterprise/Balck Swan Designs?

from madamefromag :

We'll I'd certainly feel safe if there was a guy with that big weapon standing outside of my window, that is unless he was coming after me! Seriously though, I like the get up. Those boots are pretty groovy.

from yamaa :

those boots + pole arm = *swoon*

from sketty :

LOL - thanks for the offer but I'm short and squatty so they'd probably be longer than my actual legs :D Suit you tho sir (sire)

from sketty :

Hmmm, I certainly like those boots!

from sketty :

I like your way of thinking Mr Pope! As fer Eddie, he packed a lot of living into his short life :)

from sketty :

Join fotothing and show everyone there all yer stuff, they'd love it! It's free and reliable and you can post 5 pics a day

from yamaa :

Yeah, I'm the person you want to be sitting next to at dinner....the 'interesting' one...

from madamefromag :

Thanks. I'm glad you are now virus free. As for your propensity for licking monitors and therefore getting computer tongue viruses, perhaps try some sort of teething gel.

from sketty :

Welcome back to the land of the living! My virus checker kept catching a very persistent and sneeky bugger trying to get me - I wondered if it was your gremlin trying to get everyone in your addy book! Glad to hear you kicked his butt either way :)

from yamaa :

BWHA! You'll put your eye out, waving that thing around..

from yamaa :

I'm a claymore..hrrmm

from madamefromag :

And a mighty fine sword at that!

from sketty :

Guess today is hard for you, what with all the shit you've been through mate. Take care. Gotta say tho, loved the gangrene line :)

from sketty :

I once experienced the strangeness of everyone looking at me when I was on the bus early one morning. I thought I must be hot. It turned out that I hadn't noticed the huge pile of vomit on the floor around my feet...

from allegedwife :

number 9 is wrong

from yamaa :

That which does not kill us scars us for life.

from allegedwife :

I thought he lived in Sydney

from sketty :

Hmmmm.......so you think Mothra, due to his enormity, would win. Interesting. I'd personally put money on Mothman as I reckon a giant moth might be thick but a moth-MAN might have a bit more about him and be more creative in his moth arse-kicking duties.....but what do I know..

from sketty :

So, who do you reckon would kick who's arse out of Mothra and the Mothman then Spacepope? ...or do you think that maybe they'd just fly into the outside light and burn up?

from sketty :

Heck, Phoe and I ALWAYS get a valentine's card between us from our friend Roi (who's gay which means that I get half a card from someone who wouldn't shag me if his life depended on it any way). Pah to valentines day I say :(

from yamaa :

http://www.meish.org/vd/ I hate that friggen day and am glad that others do also.

from sketty :

Ahhh, Homer J, a true modern hero indeed. I've always thought that Marge was a very lucky woman...

from allegedwife :

Gr�cum est, non potest legi.

from sketty :

So, Mr Spacepope, what exactly is an LLB and a PS? I've had a big week and my brain is borked :)

from spacepope :

She was an LLb and last time I had any news about her (years ago) she was a PS in Cambridge. When we did a show in Castle Rising in that part of the world a fellow came over and said his period was "fkings" it took a while to work out he was saying "Vikings"

from sketty :

Only the 3 nipples then, the girl from Wisbech? Surprised she hung the right way at all if she was a flat lander... ;)

from allegedwife :

You really should do something about your ear hair sweetie......you are starting to look a bit like a koala

from sketty :

Now it might be a tough call for some people but you can't fool this fool! You're the one on the bottom aren't you? I know this 'cause you never mentioned that you had fluffy ears! That aside, lookin' good man. You are really perfecting that historical villain look. Did you ever sort out the 12 toes from my neck of the woods btw?

from omorfia :

this one. this entry riiiight here. heheh. i LOVES it :) *sliding down your greased pole of depravity*

from sketty :

I will be disappointed if you do not say 'the phrase' whilst at work :) I once felt compelled to have 'beat me, whip me, call me trash' in small letters on my car number plate. Someone stole it...

from yamaa :

It was a ruse. I put down the names of people that I knew wouldn't fill the damn'd thing out. I don't like quizs, but like a vampire faced with a handfull of scattered seeds, I feel compelled to fill them out.

from allegedwife :

it should be banned...poor defenseless TVs being abused that way. Poking in the eye with a soldering iron would be suitable punishment for these foul corrupters of impressionable young sets. Stamp out audio-visual abuse!!

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