messages to stillsingle:
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from singlegirl :
Are you on Facebook? Would love to catch up!
from singlegirl :
Yay!!! Congratulations! I know how excited you must be. Please keep us updated!!!!!
from kikisings :
Hi, I used to read yours entries in the past, and would love to read yours again! I really enjoyed the way you wrote, how much honesty you put into your entires. I'm from Austin, but went to college in MN from 2001 to 2005. Can you send me your password? If not I totally understand. THANK YOU! Kiki
from jess1976 :
Hey there- Just wanted to let you know that I know exactly how you feel about TTC. I was the exact same way until we got pregnant - seriously, I am very disturbed how obsessed I got with the whole thing. Just remember to try and treat your husband like a human being and not a machine. My husband Dan began to feel like I was using him because I only wanted to do the deed around ovulation. I used to take my temperature everyday and what I would do is set my alarm and take my temp at the same time everyday. I typically don't get up until 6:30am, but I always set my alarm for 5am (because that's the time my body always seemed to get up to go to the bathroom), had my thermometer by my bed so I didn't have to get up and took my temp. I'd go to the bathroom after and then lay back down for another hour and a half. My sleep schedule was definitely interrupted, but it is well worth it. We went off the pill in October and I got pregnant in December but lost that baby - I will always wonder if it had something to do with getting so pregnant after getting off the pill. So, we tried again in February and got pregnant in May - that took longer than I expected and I really started to lose my mind for a little bit there, but it did happen and this baby has stuck and I'm scheduled for a c-section on January 31st! I can hardly believe that my pregnancy is almost over. Anyhow, I'm wishing you lots of luck TTC and will be crossing my fingers for you. If you have any questions or want to talk, you can e-mail me at [email protected]. ~Jessica
from classygirl83 :
Hey~ I used to read you along time ago, and I still remembered your password.....so I looked at your wedding pictures.....I hope that you don't mind...I didn't want you to be like "WHO IS L* a* n *e........and not knowing so that's me!!! Your pictures are absolutly beautiful, and I like the music!!! I hope that everything is good with yall! Oh, and Congrats!!! I've better get back to looking at the pictures!!
from singlegirl :
I love the pictures. Glad to finally see a photo of Chris. You two look very happy. Yay.
from jess1976 :
Hey there! I can't believe the wedding is coming up so quickly! I checked out your knot bio - love the look you're going for. My wedding was very similar to that. If you want, you can see my bio on the knot - it has some of my wedding photos in it - user name is jess1976 - if you can't get to it from there for some reason, the link is: http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/page.aspx?username=jess1976 I also wore my hair similar to how you want to wear yours! It was so comfortable and lasted almost all day surprisingly. Glad to hear everything is going well.
from singlegirl :
I'm glad to hear the wedding planning is going smoothly. I hope you post photos somewhere after the event. I would love to see the big day. Please update more often (if you have time). I love hearing about wedding planning.
from jess1976 :
Thanks for the note! I can't believe how quickly my wedding day came up and flew by. I swear I felt like I blinked and the day was over. Just remember to enjoy yourselves on the big day and don't sweat the small stuff. I am a serious control freak and tried to make everything come out as perfectly as possible. I swear, I worried about everything until the day of the wedding. It was almost as if a switch was flipped - I was very mellow and calm and didn't let anything bug me. It was so wondeful to be worry free and be able to sit back and enjoy my day. Hope your planning is going well.
from saveahorse :
May I have the password please? [email protected]
from singlegirl :
I just read your last entry where you said that you were engaged! I missed it somehow!!! Congrats! I'm so happy for you and Chris. I could just tell from your entries that he was the right one for you. Good luck w/ everything and update more!
from jess1976 :
Have you checked out the website theknot.com - it's very, very helpful. It has all sorts of ideas for planning a wedding (it's very conclusive - anything you'd ever want to know is on this site) as well as a list of chat forums, including ones for your local area and for fall weddings. I found these two chat boards most helpful. If you go to the fall weddings chat board, it will give you lots of ideas for color schemes and such. Hope this helps! Congrats again.
from jess1976 :
Congratulations! The fall is a beautiful time of year for a wedding - my wedding is September 23rd of this year and I can hardly wait. It is a very exciting time - enjoy it and enjoy each other. PS- I love theknot.com too - I'm addicted and have been for the 15 months we have been engaged now.
from classygirl83 :
Hey, are you engaged yet? I hope so!! I miss reading you!!
from aidawrites :
Thanks for the good wishes. Hope you have a merry christmas, which I am sure you will because you have had a very good year this year : ) And I agree, diaryland is not what it used to be, no one reads much of anything anymore, I think everyone is making the switch to myspace
from aidawrites :
Office drama is the worst, thats the only thing I hate about my job. But I think if I quit I will find that most places to work are going to have caddy/jeaous/bitter women. Good luck with your job hunting! And thanks for the note, I am really happy right now, its been a while since I had an actual boyfriend.
from alwaysaroura :
What a cute little ring. It's so fun during that stage. Engagements should be a surprise. I hope he does it after New Year's. Christmas and New Year's proposals are so cheesy. He should do it on some random day and when you aren't expecting it at all. It's so cute that you guys already talk about kids. Hell Taylor and I never talk about it. Partially because I'm not sure we want them and partially because we might not be able to have them. We found a house, it's adorable. It's costing us a lot but it's small and perfect and in a gated community. We're planning on staying there for five years and then upgrading. It's so great. I hope you guys have the luck that we had when you start looking! Oh and Italy is perfect, it would be a great honeymoon but I say go tropical for a honeymoon, it's sexier.
from alwaysaroura :
It's really fun to look at houses. And it's a pain too. I'm sure you are ready to be settled, much like I am!!
from aidawrites :
that house is amazing. and a great deal too! i wish they had places like that over here for that amount of money. you couldnt even get a small condo for that price over here. i dont understand why people move down here (florida) where the north is so much cheaper.
from alwaysaroura :
Hey. Sorry to hear about the tree. Taylor and I are buying a new house and I've been so busy!! I am glad to hear that you are okay despite the tree, the cold sore, and your period. Get on the shot, then you never have a period and can get BUSY whenever you want!! I love it!!
from kaliptus27 :
I've read yours & a few other MN gals' entries in the past, and would love to read yours again! :) I'm from MN as well, and a new member on DL. You mentioned I needed to write you to get a password. Why do some sites have a password requirement & some others don't? Anywhoo - can't wait to read more! You are very expressive. Thanks! I'm at [email protected].
from alwaysaroura :
Ew, I think it is so tacky when the girl picks out the ring so I'm glad that you aren't doing that!! And yes some rings are gaudy but mine is huge and I love it. I think it looks very classy and beautiful. And good luck with getting engaged. Don't pressure him, you want him to ask when he's ready after all and not because of some ultimatum. Girls can be so tasteless when it comes to getting engaged. It should always be a surprise, always.
from classygirl83 :
How long have you and Chris been dating? Why are yall talking about engagement if it's not till next spring? Alot can ahppen between now, and then.Why don't yall spend time apart? Why don't you really talk about your friends? I'm just asking, because I don't really want ot see you gte hurt! Why not chill out for a bit, and not talk about engagement, and why are you talking about it soo much anyways? Don't you want it to be a suprise? I think that you should atleast date 2 yeaars before you get engaged! Think about it . You are both still in your "honeymoon" stage right now!! I hope that this wasn't mean. I didn't really intend for it to be! Have a great week!
from singlegirl :
Are you engaged now?!?
from alwaysaroura :
Oh well that sucks about the misunderstanding. Anyways I totally forgot to say happy birthday so Happy Birthday!! It sounds like you guys had a great time. I love Ralph Lauren perfume. I have that one, I just don't remember what it's called either. As for DaVinci Code, I thought aobut reading it but never got around to it. I'm glad you are happy. That's awesome!! How's the dieting going? still working out?
from alwaysaroura :
I think that you do a fine job regarding your writing. I am glad that you found Chris. I truly am. It is so nice to see people in happy and fulfilling relationships these days. They are so few and far between. That's why I am so happy to have friends that are in healthy relationships. It's nice to be surrounded by healthy people. I see all these abusive relationships and I am convinced I would rather be alone. I think I was in a really bad pattern until I realized I needed to be with Taylor. It gives me peace in my life. And we've had our problems but that just makes it even better that we are where we are at now. I really hope that your relationship continues to flourish with Chris. I sometimes wish I had actually experienced being single though. I feel like I never did. I know it's different for you but I've always been with Kyle or with Taylor. I think maybe I'd appreciate it more if I had been single and not liked it. But then I could have loved it and never decided to get married. It's weird where our lives take us. As for the rest of your life, how is it? I'm sorry the job isn't what you wanted it to be. I'm kind of glad that I don't have to work. I'd hate to have to worry about that. I think it's unfair to Taylor that I don't work but really I could never bring in enough money for it to matter compared to what he brings in. How are your friends? You don't talk about them much anymore. Good luck with the weight loss. Oh and in regards to Ali's note, I guess you are the "voice of reason"? I hope not because those comments that were left to Ali were really rude and uncalled for. And to top it off, you weren't even the diary that annoyed her. I think she's on the defensive about the voice and I honestly hope it's not you. I would hate to think that you were like that person at all.
from aliboomboom :
You are definately not the voice of reason, you are the voice of absolute and utter delusion. You twist things to say what you want them to mean. Sure, I had a child before I got married. Who cares? I could be married by now if I wanted to be. Anyone could. And I make more money than you so I could definately be living out of my parents house if I so choose. It just happens that I don't. Maybe you don't think a single mom who is not in a relationship can be happy but I am so deal with it. Maybe you are right, we shouldn't read each other's diaries anymore. You annoy the hell out of me and I really think you are one of the most pathetic idiots I have ever come across. I could never be jealous of you, trust me. And most of my friends are in relationships, it has nothing to do with that. Good luck in life, seriously you'll need it.
from aliboomboom :
My username and password didn't change. I just disabled it from working while I was on vacation. I didn't want my boss using my computer and finding out all my secrets while I was gone!! It's the same as it has been!!
from horseshoes :
Smooth answer for the pregnancy question!
from singlegirl :
It's kind of sad when the honeymoon stage is over, but there are so many other great stages to look forward to! I'm glad things are going well for you. Hope you have a great weekend!
from horseshoes :
It's been two years coming August. It's hard to believe. I won't live with him untill, again, I'm more than just a girlfriend. Plus, my Mom and Dad need the help with the horses now. With my Dad gone all of the time she needs help doing all of the chores. Without help it takes me a good three hours or better. I couldn't imagine if I had to do that every day. Withthe two of us it only takes an hour and a half max.
from horseshoes :
I went through the same thing with Brian when he was looking at a job in Idaho. He talked about me going with him if he took it and I simply said that I couldn't do that as "just" his girlfriend!
from alwaysaroura :
I really am lucky. I am so happy right now, it almost feels like it can't be real. I should pinch myself and wake up but I don't really want to. As for you and Chris, see where it goes, you just never know. Six months is a good start.
from horseshoes :
I'm almost jealous. Brian and I are going on two years and haven't even discussed rings or getting married! I'm very excited for you though. A new house with a fiance`/husband would be pretty awesome!
from aliboomboom :
I'm glad that you and Chris are doing so well. I really hope that it does work out for you. I guess everyone is looking for someone to spend their lives with but I don't think being single sucks at all. I love going out. I hope that whoever I do end up with likes going out as much as I do. I think the quiet life sounds kind of boring. I guess those are the differences between people though!!
from aidawrites :
Wedding? did he propose? Glad you 2 are doing so well. And I am so sorry about your brother and his gf. It's horrible news, but those things are more common than we think. Im sure they will have a healthy baby in no time :)
from aliboomboom :
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother and his girlfriend. That is AWFUL. What a tragedy. I bet she's having a very hard time right now, I can't imagine being forced to abort my baby. She's in my thoughts. As for selling your homes, wouldn't you have to buy another one with the money that you made off the two you have now?
from aidawrites :
mundane rocks ;) I'll take that any day!
from aliboomboom :
I'm glad you had fun. The ball is funny though, we have one of those here. It's from the World's Fair and it's called the Sunsphere. It used to be a rotation restaurant but now it's a wig facotry or something. It was on an episode of The Simpsons. I didn't know that there was another one like it.
from aidawrites :
Sounds like you had a lot of fun! beautiful hotel!
from horseshoes :
username: horse password:shoes
from aliboomboom :
The only pale celebrity I know that looks good is Nicole Kidman and she's a freak of nature. Tan looks better, it's a proven fact. But since you don't have time, don't worry about it. Slather up and hit the ultraviolet rays when you get home. Have a great time!!
from aidawrites :
love the pic of you and chris! he is way cute ;)
from aliboomboom :
Pictures, finally. How cute. Start posting them more often.
from aliboomboom :
Oh, I had no clue that he actually did something. I thought he was an alcoholic band person.
from aliboomboom :
Wait what does Jay do now? How can he afford a brand new big house? I thought he was just in a band.
from aliboomboom :
The new job, how exciting. Good luck.
from aidawrites :
i would give my right arm for a vacation right now :) i cant wait till august! (Im going to Georgia for a weeklong stay at a cabin!)
from krazieespy :
krazyleo69 at aol dot com.. thanks..
from alwaysaroura :
We have thought about it. I don't know what we'll do. I am excited for you about your new job. I hope it works out even with the woman boss. I'm glad to hear that you and Chris are still getting on well.
from aidawrites :
It's probably the stress, it always does things on my back too. And back pains are the worst, it just makes everything so much more stressful. You need a day at the spa ;)
from krazieespy :
you have added me as a favorite so I was just curious to read your diary hopefully i can get apassword.
from aidawrites :
sounds like you and chris have both made intelligent investments with your current homes. its such a waste to rent. its great knowing there is lots of equity in your property. i bought my first property when i was 18 and im very glad i did it, i made a hefty profit from it. my current condo i bought for 70K and its been less than 2 years and its already marketed at 130K. So I guess we have both been smart about real estate.
from aliboomboom :
I don't know if B (I have to call him that because even though I'm locked I'm very googleble) really likes me or not. I guess we'll find out this weekend. It's driving John crazy that I'm going out with him. As for Britney and Kevin, gross. I don't know why she would ever want to be with him. Blech. I think she'll leave him and I think it may be over before the baby even gets here.
from classygirl83 :
Thank you for your note. THe interveiw went okay. I didn't get the job though. I hope that your doing good:)
from aliboomboom :
I have read The Wedding.It's pretty good and pretty short compared to the rest of his novels. I'll have to check out Nora Roberts. I tihnk I've read her books and am unaware of it.
from classygirl83 :
Your weekend sounded like it was nice one!! It is always fun to fix up your house ,and get things done. I loved your last qoute about life is about only looking forward and not looking back!! It is soo true. I haven't ever heard of that bookk, but it sounds like a good one. I will check it out from the libabary. My interveiw is at 2 today. I should go get in the shower right now. Have a great week!!
from aliboomboom :
We used to go to BW3's every Tuesday night for 30 cent wings in college and they always charged us for ranch. It sucked. And they charge extra for celery too. Insane. It's so stupid. As for finding your old Nintendo, that's great. I used to love the old game Paperboy. It's like the one video game that I was really great at. And I know what you mean about now that everything is official and over, you feel better. I gave Tiffany her two weeks notice today and I feel really bad about it but at least its' done. I really dread picking up Griffin today because there might be some form of confrontation and I hate that but I know it's for the best and I had to do it. I couldn't leave him there because I felt bad, right?
from classygirl83 :
Thank you for the good luck. I need all of the luck that I can get.
from aidawrites :
The Book is an amazing song. Its in Sheryl Crow's second CD called Sheryl Crow. In my opinion its the best of all her CDs. Its a must have if you are a Sheryl fan.
from aidawrites :
yucky thing about Lindsey Lohan. To think i envied her because she was young and pretty and rich, but man, i would not want to be someone like her, she must have some serious issues!
from aliboomboom :
I am excited about the Federline show but you are right, why get it on UPN? The only good thing is that reruns are going to appear on VH1 and/or MTV. Don't ask me why I know these things. And Lindsey Lohan is a cutter? Gross. I just don't get that at all. She lost a ton of weight though ,I wonder how.
from aliboomboom :
It was definately a huge relief to find the thong!! I never thought I'd be that lucky but I was. As for the Danielle/Brandon thing, I don't even know what to think. I would never do that either. I definately think she had her own motive in contacting him. She could have found out about rafting from anyone and she acted really guilty about the whole thing. It's weird. We've been friends for 10 years with no issues. I don't know why she would do this now. I know she thinks he's good looking and that they have a lot in common but come on. At least he told me, he gets points for that which is good because he needs some points in his favor right about now.
from aidawrites :
I am so jealous you are going on a trip! It's so great to get away. *SIGH* Anyway, thats awesome the way you judge jobs. I always look at the money and not the happiness part, but you are totally right about that. Comparing your boss to a bad relationship was hilarious and right on, sometimes its so hard to say goodbye in either situation. And you sure went all out on Chris's gift! $200, wow. Oh and thanks for your advice, I am sooo negative about new guys, i guess i should try my best to be a little more optimistic. It's just with my track record its hard to hope, but i'll try :)
from classygirl83 :
Congrats on your new Job:)
from aliboomboom :
Congratulations no the new job. I've never been to Houston so I can't offer any tips!! I'm sure it'll be great though.
from singlegirl :
Congrats on getting the new job. Sounds like things are going where you want them to. I'm sure you and Chris will find lots of things to do in Dallas. Going to a new city is so fun and exciting.
from aidawrites :
congrats on your new job! yey for you!
from hillbilly669 :
Came across your diary, and some of the others you are linked to. I noticed that you've left a password and name in other Notes. I know from experience that that area is not always secure, and that non-members can access it. If you are locked for a reason, you may want to change your password now and then, and email it to other members. Just a suggestion. Good luck!
from classygirl83 :
Thanks for the note. I can't belive that you read my whole diary in one sitting:) Impressive!! I'm not currently in school right now. That is kinda why my main focus is getting a job, but yeah, it's been 5 months ,and it's still not happening. IT's not because I'm not trying though. I don't know what I want to become when I get older, I do know that I do want a part time jobb though, I don't know if I owuld want to work a full time job right now. I just need to find something, because untill I find something, I don't know how I'm gonna pay for my schooling. I think that being a dietrician, would be a ton of fun, because you would know what all kinds of diets are and how the would work and you would know all about neutrician as well. All of my friends are nurses, and they love it. It's a demanding job though, and for the most part the hospitals aren't staffed well enough, but it's a great job!! I hope that you have a great weekend:)
from aliboomboom :
He is not on the birth certificate, that was the first move my lawyer told me to make. I just want him to go away, I want this nightmare to end. I had Griffin and I love him. I did what I thought was right, isn't that enough? As for hurting us, I really don't know. I don't know what kind of frame of mind he's in these days.
from aliboomboom :
I didn't know Chris was that old, I always thought of him as your age or close at least. You are right, guys are staying immature longer and longer these days. John is 30 and he acts for the most part way more immature than I do but then again I'm a girl and he's a boy and it's to be expected. I didn't really realize that everyone had issues with their job. It sucks but at least we are all in it together. Good luck with the job!! I'm going to have to do something soon as well!
from singlegirl :
I just got caught up with your diary...a massage, how nice! So thoughtful and sweet. I hope you have a fun night. A romantic dinner sounds perfect. What are you guys doing for his birthday? Are his friends coming over? How old is he going to be? Have a great weekend!
from horseshoes :
Thanks for the password! Love reading!
from classygirl83 :
Thank you sooo much for the password. I'msorry that Chris found your diary, at least there was nothing bad about him:) I know that if anyone in my real life found my diary, I would hate it. I would also probably piss alot of people off. I hope that you have a great weekend!!
from classygirl83 :
Hey~ I hope that you don't mind that I added you to my favorites. I've been reading you for awhile, but I never added you or left you a note, and for that I'm really sorry. Can I please have the password? IF not, i understand. I hope that you and chris are doing okay.
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the username/password. I hated it when Ingrid found my diary. I know you never really said anything about Chris that was bad but still it's your personal feelings. It's hard. Ian found my real hand written journal one time and freaked out. Of course I found my roomates one time and it had bad stuff written about me but I had to be understanding. As for the Mike thing, again I am sensitive about it and overprotective about it. I know that a lot of time the things that we write come out totally different than they mean to or in a different tone. I should have addressed it differently. Again I am sorry.
from singlegirl :
You figured it out! Can I have the username/password, please?
from aliboomboom :
I'm sorry about what I said. I probably over reacted. It's a very sensitive subject to me and I thought you were taking his side which is assanine to me. I hope that we can continue to be "friends". Again I am sorry, I was being overly sensitive. I need to be more open to other people's opinions. I know that you have had a brother go through this and I know you are probably more sensitive to the man's perspective than I am. I imagine I would feel differently as well.
from aliboomboom :
I know we've been reading one another for a long time but lately you've purposely said things to piss me off. I don't know why. You act as if you are being nice but we are both too old and too smart to fall for that. I hope you didn't think I didn't see right through it. The truth is I don't see anything enviable about your life so I don't know why you seem to always be on this high horse with me. I don't want to cause any kind of diaryland war but what you said today really pissed me off and you did that on purpose. I think it's best if we just don't read each other anymore. Good luck with all that you do.
from aliboomboom :
Yeah right, I'm sure it's killing him. I gave him every oppurtunity to be involved when I was pregnant. He's always too little too late. I don't care what you think. YOu don't know him, you odn't know the situation. Sure your brother might have want to be involved with his child but it causes more pain than good. Mike is a worthless piece of shit, take his side if you want. I could care less but I don't want to hear about it!
from geekgurrll :
Not sure about problems locking your diary...I had to lock mine a few weeks back because someone in my company (whom I did not know) was reading. When things get sorted, would enjoy being able to continue to read...my email is [email protected] Thanks
from aidawrites :
All it should take is the lock option on the members menu. You put in a username and password and then update/change button. If that doesnt work, you have to contact Andrew. Good luck! it works with me.
from jess1976 :
Hope things are going well. I don't know how to lock the diary except to choose the lock your diary option, which you've already tried. Once you get up and running, can you make sure you send me the user name and password, I'm curious to see what's going on with you lately. You can send it to [email protected] Thanks!
from aliboomboom :
Brandon is capable of being whatever he wants. At times he is charming and wonderful and other times he's not. I am actually very at peace with my decision to stop talking to him today. I don't know how I'll feel tonight when I don't talk to him but rihgt now I feel better than I have in a few days regarding the situation. Besides I met a cute guy named Wes today and I really want to spend more time with John. I miss him. I've really neglected him lately. Oh and it's not a problem for me to find an Altima. They are everywhere and my dad is part owner of a car dealership so it's just finding the exact right one. They are so pretty and so very cheap, it's ridiculous!!
from alwaysaroura :
I'm sorry to hear that you are going to lock up. I hope that things are okay!! Georgia was okay. It was better with Taylor being there. I am thinking about you. Let me know what is going on.
from aidawrites :
When I locked my diary it was because my ex was reading it. I hope everything is okay with you. Neither of the officers have called me thisrecently, thank god, i think im in the clear. And im still just kinda testing the waters with Josh, he gives me mixed messages and im almost sick of it. In the meantime i have a few dates lined up for the next few days.
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note regarding Brandon, I'm glad we talked things out. It's going to take us awhile to adjust to having a physical relationship as well as the relationship we already have. I'm excited about it but I know it'll have it's trials and tribulations. What's going on with you? I hope everything is okay!!
from aliboomboom :
I'm sure your brother is stressed. I am sure it's quite the shock to his system. It's good that you are being so supportive, I'm glad the rest of your family is as well. As for Brandon, we know each other. I know it's not a typical relationship but we've been talking since September and I definately don't think it's too early for a little "tiff". When people are real with one another then they get into little arguments. We aren't even arguing. I don't know what it is. I'm not going to contact him anymore. I am just going to write it off. There is nothing else for me to do. As for the distance, it's not that far. It's about 45 minutes from house to house but shorter for us to meet downtown. Besides Ian was 8 hours away. I don't feel the need to have them close.
from aliboomboom :
I'm glad that you worked things out with Chris. As for your brother's girlfriend, I think it's really nice what you are doing for her. Her family and friends will come around, hopefully. But it'll be great for you to be there for her until they do!!
from aliboomboom :
That's terrible that he acted that way especially when it's your brother! And he knows that your other brother has a child out of wedlock as well. Judgemental people suck, it's not like he's perfect. I'm sure he's done something in his past. And he's obviously had sex before so this could have happened to him. He needs to realize that and fast! Good luck talking to him. I'm glad that you are passionate about kids and about supporting your brothers. Stick up for what you believe!
from singlegirl :
It's nice isn't it - to know that you found the man you're going to be with for life. When I first started dating Jeremy and looked back at some of the choices I made before him (i.e. Nik), I was shocked by more own stupidity. I'm just so happy that I found someone that is everything I've ever wanted.
from aidawrites :
Oh my god i would have died if i saw a mouse! i am so deathly afraid of them, i think i would have lost my wits. I hope you guys catch it! But yeah, it must have been kinda funny, although seriously, i would have DIED.
from aliboomboom :
Gross!! I would have DIED!! I hate rodents!! Were you at his house or yours? How did you sleep the rest of the night? Did he have to touch the mouse? Yuck, Yuck, Yuck. I'm dryheaving just thinkg about it!
from horseshoes :
I don't think I will move in with him. I'll probably keep doing what I'm doing. He would love for me to move in. I just feel I need a bigger commitment than just being his girlfriend. We are going on two years now. I'm kind of a Nomad right at the moment between Brian's house, Mom and Dad's, and my grandmother's place. If he wants me around all of the time he just has to say those magic words. I hope you run into a good job oppertunity. I know how it feels to be miserable at your work. It makes me happy knowing that I'm leaving in the fall. Good luck!
from aidawrites :
Sounds like you are getting great feedback from a lot of companies, maybe i should broaden my horizons too, i hate HATE my job. Anyway, i was able to get a check from the psycho bitch's husband to cover what i spent for tires, if not i would have taken her to court.
from aliboomboom :
It's not a pretty 6 or an 8. I can wear 10s from time to time as well. I would like to just always be a 6. My legs need to be thinner, my stomach needs to be flatter, my arms could use some toning, etc. I just want to be happy wtih my body again. I wonder if my new birth control is making me gain weight. If I gain anymore, I'll kill myself, I swear I will. Okay I'm done being dramatic.
from alwaysaroura :
Thank you for the note and thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. I am so much happier now. Maryland is a huge change from Georgia but I'm loving it. I always kind of believed that home is where your heart is and my heart is with Taylor. We were going over marriage vows with our therapist, he's a Christian therapist and we came to that verse that says "Where you go, I will follow. Where you lay your head, is where I too shall lay mine..." It was suddenly the most beautiufl thing I had ever heard and so very true. As for you and Chris, you never know. I know it's hard to think taht you might have actualy found the one but say you did, that is the most wonderful thing ever. And a year is a long time, you could have your very own engagement ring by then. Sure it sucks to get your hopes up and have them crushed but it's fun to dream too and think about the what if he is the one? Good luck. I'm rooting for you.
from aliboomboom :
I totally feel the same way. 25 doesn't bother me at all but when I get to thinking about 26, I get scared. I was telling Brandon last night that 27 doesn't bother me and 30 doesn't really bother me, it's just the 26. I think once I take that step, I'll be fine and so will you!! How was 26 though? Did you have a great year or what?
from aliboomboom :
Chris does sound sweet. Much better than Jay. I hope that you get a new job, the worst part is the interview process. As for the Meyers Briggs, I was classified as an introvert too. Most people would say that there is no way that I am an introvert but I kind of think I am so who knows? I love taking quizzes like that though. I took a whole class in college devoted to stuff like that.
from aidawrites :
I guess you are right, writing someone off too quickly for no good reason isnt going to get me anywhere. I need to do what you did ;) Im sure you'll find a worthy job soon, those things always have a way of working themselves out. Also glad to hear things are progressing with Chris, he sounds like a true gentleman.
from aliboomboom :
I guess I really just don't see the point of the Ian email. We've been over for almost 2 years. Move on already. I've never had the urge to talk to my exes though so maybe that's why. We didn't end well, we've spoken since the breakup and that didn't go well, etc. We are not going to be friends, ya know? And maybe he was just emailing to see how I was but I think it's tacky that he gave me so many details about his new girlfriend. I mean telling me he had one should have been enough. I couldn't care less though which is great. It used to break my heart to hear from him and now I really just want it to be over for good. OVER as in don't contact me again. EVER.
from aliboomboom :
I hope that the job thing works out for you. It sucks to be miserable at work.
from tanprincess :
well shit i have been gone way too long! congrats on the new man in your life! i was so excited to read all about him and how happy you are! i wish you all the love and happiness in the world!!! and damn i need to update and read more often!!!
from aliboomboom :
I think I read that you wanted to name you dog Baxter. Brandon's family has had their dog for nine years so I don't know what inspired the name Baxter. It's still very sad. Oh I could move out on the money I make now. I make over $45,000 a year but the lawyer wanted me to wait at least a year in case the psycho decided to harass us. It would just be nice to make a little more. I guess everyone feels that way though, right?
from aliboomboom :
Oh I don't like dark pink shirts. I like the very pale pink Polo ones with the white horse. Those are so hot. And they look great on guys with dark hair when they have a tan. I'll get him one, I'm not worried. I know that once we start hanging out, I'll have him wrapped around my little finger. As for not seeing him, I'm not needy. I know he has a lot going on. I do as well. I actually have enjoyed getting to know him before we start this whole dating thing. Besides since he works so hard in the winter, he gets to play hard in the summer. And I will definately enjoy his boat and jet skis this summer. Good things come to those who wait after all and Brandon is definately a good thing. Besides if I just wanted to jump into a physical relationship, I could date Jeff or John or a number of other guys. It just doesn't interest me. Have fun at girls' night.
from aliboomboom :
Brandon made all these obligations before we met. I can't blame him for living up to his responsibilitise. Besides it's not even about him nto being able to see me. It's just about my birthday and he's coming now. And he's off Saturday so all si right with the world.
from aliboomboom :
I've heard bad things about the patch. It's good that you haven't gotten pregnant. Stay on birth control, you don't want to risk it. And it's good that you aren't going to see Jay. Why would you do something that you wouldn't want Chris to do? I totally agree.
from aliboomboom :
Do you have pictures of Chris? Post one, I'd love to see him and you!
from aidawrites :
love the new template! very cute :)
from aidawrites :
I understand how you would feel insulted by him not wanting you to meet his mom, I would feel the same way, hopefully he will make up for it by planning dinner with his mom and you, that would be the best thing he can do. About my drinking, I think what you did is a good example of what I need to do. And ive already made up my mind that im not going to be the drunk girl anymore, thanks for your input :)
from singlegirl :
OMG! What a wonderfully, romantic evening. I'm so happy that you're in love. You need to post pictures of the two of you soon, so we can put a face to the name. He sounds just perfect!!
from jess1976 :
WOW! You're Valentine's Day sounds wonderful, very fairytale-like! My bf Dan is not very romantic, but he did make an effort to make reservations at a very nice restaurant for dinner and I was very happy with that. I'm so happy that things are going well for you... you deserve to be very happy.
from aidawrites :
He sounds amazing and well, perfect. You deserve it! Now, I think Im the only single girl left in all of diaryland. Let's just hope he's out there.
from aliboomboom :
I'm so glad that your Valentine's Day was special!! Yay!
from betchy :
well? did you do it? was it good? sorry i am just a big perve, i should be a bloke!
from aliboomboom :
Happy Valentine's Day!! May it be the first of many for the two of you!
from aliboomboom :
It sounds like you guys have a good weekend planned. I hope that the sex part goes as well as you hoped it will!! Good luck!
from aidawrites :
yeah i think i ruined it with andrew with that email, shit shit shit. oh well. must have patience right? nice to see things are progressing with chris. you need to post a picture, better yet, take some for valentine's day ;)
from aliboomboom :
Atkins seems bad for you. I am going to give WW a go, we'll see how it works for me. I don't really look like I need to lose weight but it's in my head that I do, ya know? i just like being really thin and ever since I had Griffin, I haven't been. It's hard to go from a virtually flawless figure to what I have now. Yuck. Anyways as for Brandon, we have not gone out yet. I don't know what the hold up is. He works two forty hour jobs right now and will until March 15 when ski season ends. He keeps trying to get off but he's director of ski patrol so it's not like he's unimportant and can miss whenever he wants. I don't bring up meeting, my schedule is far more flexible than his so I am just going to let him figure it out. Last week he took Sunday off but he had the flu and I didn't want to bring it back home to Griffin so I didn't meet up with him. He said something about trying to get off tomorrow but I haven't heard anything about it since we didn't really talk on Tuesday because I was out and we didn't talk last night because I was asleep. I'm almost over it. I'm just tired of worrying so much about someone that I haven't even had dinner with. We'll see what happens though.
from aidawrites :
Well I always say go with your gut instinct, but i guess sometimes we girls get so jealous we sometimes make a bigger deal of things. by the way, what website did you meet chris at? im only signed on with match. there's this company called Its Just Lunch, and they almost guarantee to hook you up with Mr. Right, so i called them, and it turns out it costs $1,000 for 8 dates. i was like, whoooa, thats way too much, for that i should just stay on match for a while.
from aliboomboom :
The mentor thing will be good even if it does take away from time with Chris. Child support really isn't just for poor people. Did you mean to say something else or am I misinterpreting what you wrote? Anyways I'm glad things are going so well for you and Chris, it gives me hope that things will just click when Brandon and I do finally get together.
from aliboomboom :
I'm glad that you guys are still going strong. It sounds like he's a great guy!
from singlegirl :
How were his friends? Does he have guy and girl friends? I was SO nervous when I met some of Jeremy's friends.
from xzorakx :
Thanks. :) Hard to believe, but four months from yesterday will be the big day. Four months from today I'll probably be on my honeymoon. Hope you're doing well. Shalom, Matt
from singlegirl :
I hope that you and Chris work through the trust issues (not that you have issues yet, but you know what I mean). As you may recall, Jeremy and I have had our fair share of them. I just think that sometimes (no matter how much the guy loves you), men do not get it. I would love to get to the point with Jeremy where I don't have to question some of the things that he does (and I am getting there), but it just seems like we get so close, and then he fucks it up again.
from aliboomboom :
You are right. I am more than aware that Jeff has his issues. I really want him to stay with his wife and work things out. And he does drink a lot and he probably kisses other girls. Reasons why I would never get involved with him in the first place. It was fun. It won't happen again!!
from lolamae :
I just finished reading a story about the pollution where you are. I don't remember it being very bad while I was up there. Be careful. I know that can cause people major health problems.
from alwaysaroura :
I'm so glad that you have found love after all this time. You truly deserve this relationship with Chris after what Jay put you through. I hope it turns out to be all that you've dreamt of. Thank you for the note. I know that time will heal all wounds. It's just that time doesnt' seem to pass fast enough these days. Take care!! Cherish your new relationship.
from aliboomboom :
I'm glad that you and Chris have such a connection. I hope that it works out for you. I'm definately cheering for it too!! As for Brandon, I'm sure that it will be awkward at first but I have to hope that it'll eventually be what I want it to be. Right? After all, we are nowhere without hope. Oh and I think it's GREAT that you guys are waiting to have sex!! It'll be so much better when you finally do!!
from singlegirl :
I love guys who are animals in the bedroom...
from aliboomboom :
You seem so happy. Yay!
from aliboomboom :
I'm so glad to hear that things are going well for the two of you!! I hope that things go as well for me and Brandon!! Chris makes me hopeful!
from jess1976 :
I'm glad that things are going so well for you . You deserve someone who will treat you like this. Wishing you two the best!
from aidawrites :
wow, sounded like such an amazing weekend. im very happy for you! what a sweetheart he is!
from singlegirl :
You guys remind me of me and Jermey when we first started daing! I LOVE new relationships (especially good ones) and I hope that you continue to make many memories with him!
from aliboomboom :
Good plan. That might be it. Let me know if you have any more suggestions!!
from betchy :
i'm so happy that you're happy x
from aliboomboom :
I think you should go into it slow. That's what I would do. Weren't you ever nervous that you wouldn't be what he expected when you first met though?
from aidawrites :
oops, i meant NO ONE deserves it more, lol.
from aidawrites :
oh. my. god. what a wonderfully perfect date! he cooked, he kissed you, he showed you the stars, he made plans to go to a museum with you, he has a six pack. wow!!!! you are one lucky lady ;) but one deserves it more than you. have a great weekend with him, im sure you will though !
from aliboomboom :
Good luck. I hope that he is the one.
from lolamae :
Oh my gosh, I am so excited for you. He sounds wonderful.
from singlegirl :
I think he's just being a gentleman. From what you've said about him, he sounds a little old fashioned (in a good way). How many guys nowadays send a car out to pick up a girl? I think he's romancing you. I say enjoy...sometimes the best things are worth waiting for.
from aidawrites :
Im very excited for you, you have to give us details on what happened last night with you and Chris. I've tried the match.com thing before and i did meet someone i dated for about 2 months, but i havent tried it again. I'm gonna try browsing there today, thanks for the advice. I know im ready for a relationship, and i just cant seem to get a break.
from horseshoes :
Brian and I started just like the two of you are but a LOT slower. We didn't even kiss till the 5th date! I thought there was something wrong with me. He finally asked if he could kiss me. I felt so stupid for waiting. He was wanting me to make the first move because I had told him I didn't want to jump into anything. Come to find out he's a true gentleman "gasp" and listened "gasp again"! SO once he got the ok from me we finally moved forward which was a real relief. I think he's been hinting about getting married latley. I might write about it tomorrow.
from alwaysaroura :
Thank you for the note. It is impossibly hard to say good bye to someone taht you have loved for as long as I have loved Taylor. He has been my everything for so long. I have to admit it's a bit scary. Good luck with Chris, he sounds promising.
from aliboomboom :
Slow and steady wins the race. I think it's great that you guys haven't done anything besides kiss at this point!! HOw romantic!!
from horseshoes :
You sound pretty excited about him now! That's great! Good luck!
from singlegirl :
Sounds like you had an amazing weekend! I'm so glad you went out with him on Friday. And a limo? How perfect! I'm really happy for you. Things are looking good :)
from aliboomboom :
If you aren't rushing into the relationship then don't rush into sex either!! Surely the two of you can wait until the birth control kicks back in next month, right? Good luck, I know it'll be hard!!
from betchy :
oooh, i am so glad that you have found a nice guy, i hope things go from strength to strength xxx
from lolamae :
Oh Yay! I am so happy for you. You deserve someone to sweep you off your feet.*hugs*
from aliboomboom :
Yay!! It sounds like you have a fabulous guy to consider!! I am so glad that you had a good time and I know that there are only many more memories to be made with Chris!!
from aidawrites :
OMG Girl, what an amazing weekend! this guy is either the real thing or just the most charming guy ever! A limo in front of your door! Im lucky if the guy opens the door for me, lol. And obviously he is well off, ooh, you need to keep this one around for a bit. Im very happy for you! Keep us well informed! (oh and it sucks working today, but here i am too)
from alwaysaroura :
Thanks for the note. I had heard that they told the same thing to several stars and I understand why they say it. It makes sense but at the same time we aren't even sure we want kids so why is this effecting him so much? IT's just hard to work so hard to be a certain weight and then to have someone tell you that you can't be that way. I just feel like I worked all the weight off for no reason.
from alwaysaroura :
I should post pictures, you are right. It just feels more private if I don't. Ya know what I mean? Because I can be more open about things. I like your entry today. Very informative!!
from lolamae :
That is interesting. I might borrow that from you! later.
from horseshoes :
When I met my Brian I was quite surprised that he didn't have many friends and he is quite the introvert. I really had my doubts because I'm a social animal even though I don't talk about it much in my diary. But it turned out that most of his old friends where married and focused on thier kids and they had grown apart. That and he didn't want to do the bar thing anymore. So he poured himsef into his work and that is ALL he did for 4 years! I was scared that he would be to boring for me at first. All he ever did was take me out to eat and movies. I hate that stuff (it's OK in moderation). Finally after we had been going out for a few months it all fell together and I'm in the best relationship I have ever been in. I have never been so happy! It was hard at first but I saw some potential and figured that I hadn't met any guys like him in a long time. Good luck and don't let the introvert thing fool you. It sounds like he's really funny he might surprise you!
from singlegirl :
Wow, -6 is cold. I was complaining earlier because it's going to be 17 here. I think both are too cold to be running around. Staying in and watching movies sounds good to me too! Feel better.
from aliboomboom :
That is a great attitude to have!! Give it a chance, you never know and sometimes introverts are fun!!
from aliboomboom :
That is a great attitude to have!! Give it a chance, you never know and sometimes introverts are fun!!
from lolamae :
Try drinking lots of water the next few minutes. As much as you can. You could be dehydrated, which is the cause of most headaches. I get migraines regularly. If this doesn't work, they say red wine and a hot bath will do the trick. Hope you feel better. Stay warm.
from jess1976 :
The boyfriend and I watched the Vikings beat the Packers yesterday... it was a good game, especially since the whole time, my boyfriend was secretly wishing awful things on Brett Favre (what can I say, he doesn't like the guy!) Sounds like life's treating you pretty well. Glad the date went well last week!
from jess1976 :
The boyfriend and I watched the Vikings beat the Packers yesterday... it was a good game, especially since the whole time, my boyfriend was secretly wishing awful things on Brett Favre (what can I say, he doesn't like the guy!) Sounds like life's treating you pretty well. Glad the date went well last week!
from singlegirl :
What a great game the Vikings had yesterday. Who do they play next? The Eagles? We (Colts) play New England - sounds like both our teams have a BIG game ahead of them :)
from aliboomboom :
I thought about that too. It's a lot like Bo and Hope and the whole Larry Welch thing but I still hate it. I am thinking that they aren't really married. Like they haven't signed their wedding license or something, a little loop hole and Belle will act like she's going to sign it until the very last minute or something. I am just so sick of Kate trying to control everyone's life. I mean give them a break already? So annoying.
from lolamae :
Thanks. I think that is what I'll do.
from lolamae :
That's great! However, I don't think my ex will be able to handle the happiness I have with my new interest. What to do then?
from betchy :
congrats on the dating success! and also dont worry about getting butterfiles from the thought of seeing Jay. everyone gets butterflies at the thought of seeing an ex. EVERYONE! it doesnt make you abnormal. that what you would be if you didnt have them!
from alwaysaroura :
Oh and they do have fireworks in the Virgin Islands, they were spectactular!!
from aidawrites :
ok, here's the thing. The first mistake you are making is comparing Jay to other guys, because trust me, thats what I do, and its wrong. Second, you have to give everyone a fair shot and go into a date like its the first date youve ever had, ever. Clean slate. If you dont get butterflies the first time he calls you after your first date, then you know it isnt the real thing. Good luck with that....I know how hard it is.
from alwaysaroura :
I'm so glad that you had fun on your date and don't worry about the butterflies, you could develop them at a later time and that wouldn't necessarily be a catastrophe, right? As for my life, I guess I only write about the good stuff, huh? Maybe I should fill people in on the dark side just so people stop thinking it's perfect. As for Taylor, if I left you have him for a day you'd want him for life. I'm a very lucky girl!! Good luck!!
from jess1976 :
Like everyone else has said, there is nothing wrong with you. You are experiencing the trials and tribulations of dating and online dating at that... I know how crazy it can be. I think your feelings for Jay come from the fact that he is your last long term relationship and it's easy to revert back to the past where you were happy and comfortable for the most part. We always long for something when it is gone, although it may not have been the best for us when we were in the situation. Isn't it crazy how we force ourselves into really only remembering the good times and blocking out the bad times. You have to give your dates a chance and try not to compare them to Jay. It's hard I know, but chances are you are going to find someone that is way better for you than Jay was and treats you better than Jay did... just give yourself some time. Good luck with everything and most importantly don't let yourself get down if it takes awhile for you to meet Mr. Right. It took me 27 years and 3 years of being single.
from horseshoes :
I was going to write something else but when I read Lolamae's note I think she has a good point. Good luck though!
from aliboomboom :
Sometimes it's the butterflies that get you in trouble, maybe it's good that you didn't have them!!
from lolamae :
There is nothing wrong with you. You say you are over him, but clearly there are still some very strong feelings. It sounds like there is this hope that flickers inside you about Jay. It's very normal. It will pass. You just have to put your whole self into beginning a new relationship. You might not get the butterflies now, but you will.
from singlegirl :
Sounds promising! Did you get any butterflies or feelings around him (sorry that sounds so girly)? I've never "dated" so I'm not sure if it works that fast. The 3 guys I fell in love with was pretty much at first sight. I went from being single to girlfriend almost instantly. I think dating would be fun. It's exciting.
from lolamae :
Woohoo! Sounds like it was fantastic. I am happy for you.
from singlegirl :
Good luck! Let us know how it went tomorrow.
from lolamae :
Good luck. I hope is everything you dream him to be!
from aliboomboom :
Good luck tonight!! He sounds great and hilarious. Hilarious is one of the best qualities to have!! Are you nervous? I would be. I worry I've hyped up Brandon too but you never know they could both be as wonderful as they seem.
from alwaysaroura :
I can't imagine online dating. I'm sure you attract a ton of guys. I wouldn't know what to do with them all. Have you ever successfully dated someone from a dating service? One of my brothers met his wife via the internet and it worked out great for them. He was in a new place and didn't know anyone and they were friends for a long time before they dated. Good luck with it. I personally think it's a great way to meet someone. As for Christmas, I was spoiled rotten!! I hope that you were too!! Happy New Year!!
from lolamae :
I enjoyed your diary. I am adding you to my favs. I used to live in MN about 3 months ago. My recent divorce is the reason I am back in GA.
from aidawrites :
Sounds like Jay was super jealous! Oh well! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
from betchy :
have a very merry christmas lovely xxx
from aliboomboom :
MERRY CHRISTMAS, ALICIA. I hope that your holidays are happy and that you are surrounded by loved ones. Here's to finding the men of our dreams in 2005!!
from betchy :
i wish i had a dating life! yours sounds like you ccould never be bored! i love it when you say you are over Jay it makes you sound so strong. glad things are good for you at the moment. perhaps i will get a man in my xmas stocking x
from aidawrites :
girl, your dating life sounds very similar to mine. It almost seems like theres all these guys and we cant settle down because we cant pick one. The thing about multi-dating is that you feel like theres someone a little better right around the corner. The weeding out process is a little harder when we keep meeting new guys every week ;) oh well!
from alwaysaroura :
Oh I haven't been a size 0 in years. I'm just now getting there for the wedding. I'm sure I'll blow up again afterwards!!
from aliboomboom :
Does online dating not make you nervous? I feel like Brandon and I are kind of doing that even though we have a mutual acquantice but I am so nervous.
from aidawrites :
So you really quit drinking for good eh? thats awesome, but i just dont know how you can do it. When everyone is drinking around you, it must be hard. I'm one of those people that have to drink at a bar, I cant have fun unless i drink, actually thats kinda sad, lol.
from aliboomboom :
It sucks when romance ruins friendship. Christian and I were way better at being friends and luckily even though we have dated three times we are still able to be friends. We don't talk much anymore but I always worried about us dating because I didn't want to lose him. Maybe you and John could work out like that? It's kind of fun to be friends with an ex. I wouldn't worry about it though until he puts a real move on you and then you can either tell him you don't want that or that you do just definately wait until after the divorce is final.
from tanprincess :
i can kind of relate, b'ham and i started out just bitching to one another about our s.o's then we decided to make the jump and look at us now. we dont even talk or anything and probably never will. i hate it because i really vauled our friendship and now we will never be able to have a friendship ever again. that sucks. it's funny how things happen, huh?
from betchy :
god i have just realised it been ages since i caught up with you! i am sorry, i'm such a bad buddy! well i love the layout, loved the pics of your bathroom, and think you are one of the most gorge people i have ever seen! seriously. and trust me, being part of a big family isnt all its cracked up to be. you have more laughs but you have more rows aswell! take care sweetie, i promise not to leave it so long next time xxx
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the compliment. Things are going pretty well. Sounds like they are going alright for you too. What dating service do you date through? Jeremy sounds like a nice guy. I wish I had someone to settle down with. I mean sure there are lots of possibilities on the horizon but no definite and that is what sucks. I just no longer feel like wasting my time and getting attached to someone that doesn't want the same things as me, ya know?
from horseshoes :
Sorry I repeated myself! Oops! Damn those small boxes!
from horseshoes :
I know what you mean about the holidays. It used to be like that when I was single. I hated the mall and department stores with all of the happy couples. It's completely changed now. I'm part of a happy couple but no longer part of a happy extended family. No more large dinners for me. I figure if it's not one thing it's something else. I guess I can't have it all I guess. SARA
from aidawrites :
yeah, i like this template better :) good luck with jeremy :)
from aidawrites :
wow girl you are totally hot! im on your same boat, but its all good, we single girls have to keep faith and stick together!
from tanprincess :
girl i am loving your bathroom! and i'm trying to realize that being single again is not all that bad. i'm just going to make the best of it.
from aliboomboom :
You are so pretty and I love the bathroom. I am tired of not being a couple too. I just feel like I could be more involved in a lot of things if I were in a relationship and that's hard. Oh well it'll happen when it happens, right?
from singlegirl :
Yay pictures! I love how you're holding the cup Vanna White style, pretty girl:)
from jess1976 :
You are very pretty! Thanks for posting the pics... it's always nice to have a face to put with a name.
from jess1976 :
You are very pretty! Thanks for posting the pics... it's always nice to have a face to put with a name.
from jess1976 :
Hi there! I found you through singlegirl and have been reading you for a little while now. I really enjoy reading your diary and can definitely relate to a lot of things you have gone through. Until I met my boyfriend earlier this year... I was the only single one of all my friends. It was a hard time in my life, but things do look up and get better. You will find someone who will totally appreciate you for who you are and what you want out of life!
from tanprincess :
go gold!! LOL maybe one of these days i will join the big leagues too!!! can't wait to see some pics!!
from singlegirl :
Yay Gold!
from aidawrites :
I wouldnt move there for him, no way. He is the one who should move, but we havent talked about this. Im holding on to something that isnt there, ya know? Its real in my heart, but in truth, we have nothing left to build on.
from singlegirl :
Aw. Feel better. Get a Gold Membership so we can see you and your new bathroom!
from aidawrites :
I really dont know why he is coming to town except to see me. He doesnt have anything going on over here, even his friends moved to Orlando with him. But I know he is too proud to tell me he just wants to see me. He also said is still registered to vote here, so that might be why he is coming.(he is a yucky republican)
from singlegirl :
Thanks for the note....tell me about this Window thing that I could use to check out where he's been. I just went to google and yahoo and because it stores all the recent searches, I was able to find it that way. Your way sounds better - thanks!
from aliboomboom :
Hey. Email me at [email protected] and I will give you the new password. Or find me on IM at alialiboomboom.
from aidawrites :
I think this volunteer project you are doing is awesome. I want to do something like that in the future, it makes your life so much more meaningful. Wouldnt it be great to do something like that for a living? Right now im so busy working with the Kerry campaign on my time off but after the election Im going to look into doing some work for the community, you've inspired me! :) I hear what you are saying. We single girls devote so much time into finding a great guy and it just wears us out and its nothing but stress, and in the end we always end up alone. I say finding a more important meaning in life is a great thing to do. Go you!
from betchy :
sounds like it was all quite an experience! at least now thats over you can put all this behind you! hope you are ok, leave me a note soon i hardly ever hear from you any more :(
from singlegirl :
How exciting:) I was just thinking the other day how it's so fun to really like someone new. You never know what's going to happen and even something like hand holding makes your heart beat faster. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that Jeremy and I found each other, but sometimes it makes me sad that I'll never have those first moments again. Enjoy!!
from aidawrites :
Wow! Im glad you had a great date! Having a prospect is so much fun and exciting. I hope it works out for you, and I hope mine works out for me too! Lets cross our fingers! I always say, be prepared for the worst (guy turns out to be a jerk) but hope for the best (guy turns out to be the one!!!) Keep us informed!
from aliboomboom :
I agree with Aida, it's good that you haven't had sex in a while. I regrest most if not all of the people that I had sex with. That's why it will be a cold day in hell before I do it again. Or at least it'll be after I have a huge ring on my left hand. Thanks for the notes. We'll see where it goes with the firefighter. I must admit it's kind of sexy that he lives on the edge.
from aidawrites :
Thats good that you havent had sex for that long, i wish i hadnt had sex this year, i regret all of them. Sex is so overrated. Its not that great, and then it just stresses you out.
from aliboomboom :
Why do guys do that? I hate it when ANYONE calls me five times and leaves me voicemail after voicemail after voicemail. It makes me want to scream. Look dude, I got your message. I'll call you when I FEEL like it. I have friends who do that and I've had boys do that. Desperate people do not make attractive friends nor do they make attractive mates. Get a life. I hope he backs off. Good luck!!
from aliboomboom :
Ew. I hate cowboy hats too. Unfortunately they are much more common here. You could probably talk him out of wearing them if you are interested. Baseball caps are much better!
from thbestfriend :
check out your Guestbook.. the info is there!!
from aidawrites :
It's always no boys or lots of boys, weird how that happens, but hell, have fun! date them all! Oh and getting paid to surf the net rocks, just dont get caught like I did :( but its all good, im still here. Dont you just love NFL season? I like Randy Moss, then again, Im Dolphins all the way!
from betchy :
wowsa's! lucky you! you've obviously got it going on at the mo' big sty-lee!! ye ha! anyway glad you still can have a laugh while reading me. i will try to stay entertaining!
from aliboomboom :
I'm glad that your date went well and I'm glad that you have a lot of new hot prospects. Yay!! When it rains, it pours, huh? And in your case "It's raining men, hallelujah. It's raining men..." It is hard to be friends with people for extended periods of time because they do all inevidentably end up on your nerves. Of course they say that the character flaws that you see in others are the ones that you struggle with too so if that's the case, I'm in trouble. Anyways thanks for the note. Good luck with all your men!
from betchy :
YAYAYAYAYAY!!! i am really glad it went well honey!!! i am really excited for you! leave me a note soon havent heard from you in ages, glad things are looking up x
from aidawrites :
Well, it looks like Ivan is heading our way. You would not believe the chaos around here, people running around all crazy-like, no fuel, no plywood! its nuts! All I can do is tape up my windows and pray this hurricane goes away. so anyway, how was your date?
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. A lot of people say that Griffin does indeed look like me. His hair is a reddish brown like Mike's and he still has blue eyes but that's really all that I can see in him taht resembles Mike. That and his big hands and feet but really nothing else, thank God. I hope that your blind date goes well. I've never been on one. I imagine that they are exciting but nerve wracking also. I hope that I do eventually meet someone that can love me the way that I want to be loved but then again I have already been so blessed that sometimes I think that wanting that is asking for too much. I guess we'll see.
from singlegirl :
Ohh, I can't wait to hear all about it. I hope you had a good time - or at least a free lunch:)
from betchy :
yay you! have fun on your date, good luck and be sure to tell us all about it! xxx
from tanprincess :
YAY! GOOD LUCK ON YOUR LUNCH DATE! CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT! AND MEN ON BIKES ARE SUPER SEXY!! LOL
from aliboomboom :
Sure they drink but they are 22, what do you expect? I don't think that drinking or getting in trouble for drinking can define your level of class. Everyone drinks. Besides they did their community service and they handled it well. It's not like they were out doing drugs. I love them. They are great and they exude confidence, class and charisma. The Kerry girls on the other hand are a joke. I don't think that either of us should judge anyone for making mistakes. Anyways sorry that you didn't like the entry. I'm also sorry that you feel that way about Republicans, I guess we all have our own experiences though.
from tanprincess :
haha dont you love it when you see that an ex's new "love" is ugly or fat!! i want a baby too! i want a little itty bitty baby girl so so bad! humm guess b'ham and i need to hurry and set a date so we can start working on babies--you know since we are watiting until after marriage to have sex! HAHA didn't that make you laugh!!
from aidawrites :
I think this is the best thing that could have happened to you. You'll never have the regrets of what if because you poured your heart out to him and you found out how he feels. (God, men are so cold!) Now you can move on knowing you did everything you could to salvage the relationship. He basically told you he has moved on, and its the epitemy of closure. I wish i had that from Matt, but he never tells me that, he just keeps me guessing, and THAT is the worst thing to do to someone in love.
from singlegirl :
I'm not sure when you started to read my diary, but you sound just like I did after Ben and I broke up. As hard as it is, it is best to move on. You never know what's waiting for you around the corner. And from how you describe Jay, he reminds of Ben - and yes, you do deserve better. And once you truly realize that, you won't be jealous of the girls he's with - you'll start feeling sorry for them because you know what they're going to go through.
from singlegirl :
Happy Belated Birthday. I'm 26 now, but will be turning 27 in less than a month. That sounds so much older to me. It's almost 30! But yes, I know that's still young. I just hate going to the bars and seeing all the 21 year olds. They make me feel old:)
from aidawrites :
no man can be a really good thing. you know? i actually think i dont want a boyfriend. its like, i have one, and now i dont want one. so much drama, so much to worry about. men suck. i do enjoy dating once in a while to keep things interesting, but as far as someone permanent, i just dont see the point. im beginning to think im the ultimate single girl.
from aidawrites :
Nothing beats a Girl's night out. Glad you had a relaxing, drama-free weekend :)
from xzorakx :
I wholeheartedly concur that Bush must go. If he gets another four years, we'll all be earning $7 an hour at McDonalds.
from aidawrites :
You're right about guys, they are known to crash and burn when things go too fast. Im going to try to slow things down. I hope you are feeling better, remember, lots of chicken soup! it always works for me :)
from aidawrites :
The problem has never been meeting guys, its that i dont meet the right guys. I guess I just go out and meet guys at bars, social events in the community and mostly the gym, oh and i have met guys from match.com in the past, i suggest you give that a shot. And I've always felt old even now because all my friends are older and I sometimes forget that they are a little ahead of me on the settling down thing. As for you, you've had meaningful long term relationships, so you know you are capable of them, I on the other hand are incapable of them and very scared of commitment, It's almost impossible for me to open up to someone, so trust me, i have issues. You are a career woman and you are on the right path, plus you are optimistic on love, something i've never been. (yet)
from aidawrites :
I can never get tired of watching SATC. Im waiting for the last part of season 6 to come out so i can order the whole thing on ebay. For now im getting my weekly dose from the TBS reruns. The first time that Big and Carrie broke up i thought it was totally Big's fault, but i just saw that episode again and i see that Carrie was just being psycho. you know, the one when they are going on vacation and she breaks up with him because he wont tell her she's "the one" after they were only dating for like 4 months.
from tanprincess :
YAY! glad you are getting your money! have fun spending it on your new bathroom! decorating is so much fun! enjoy yourself girl!
from aidawrites :
I guess he calls me because he wants to make me miserable, i dunno, i dont get him. He cheated on me a year ago and I broke up with him but he has been in and out of my life ever since, its been hard for me to say no to him, he's the only man i've ever loved. I wish he would never call me, his voice is sweet torture. The good thing is that I never see him because he is 3 hours away, but his phonecalls are a constant reminder, and i know i wont be able to move on until he leaves me alone, but i cant tell him that, i still feel pretty strongly about him and you know how that goes....sucks, doesnt it?
from aidawrites :
Yep, i do think thay seeing him all the time doesnt help things. Out of sight out of mind. Then of course there's the telephone....Matt just called me and we talked for an hour. *sigh* I hope my therapist convinces me to stop taking his calls, it isnt healthy.
from betchy :
how long is it since you broke up with jay?? its always hard running into an ex. then when they are your ex ex (the guy before jay would be your ex ex) it gets easier. wizz is still my ex. and seeing him on saturday made me think about him more than i have done in ages. i havent stopped thinking about him since saturday to be honest. but i dont have any feelings for him now. just reminders of the feelings i did have. perhaps that is what has happened with you and jay. you keep remebering all the good times, you remeber how you felt about him, and because he was nice to you the other night, you think you're still in love with him, but you're probably not. its just because you havent had another boyfriend since. you have to remeber the bad times aswell though, otherwise you wont ever let go. sorry if i sound like i am being harsh, but i have got more exes than you can shake a stick at, and each one i thought i would never get over. it gets easier babes, trust me xxx
from aidawrites :
Girl, i understand exactly how you feel. The hardest thing in the world is to get over someone 100% and stop hoping that maybe it can work out again somehow. And i've realized that meeting other men isnt the solution, the solution can only be found within. I guess we just mentally have to convince ourselves that it isnt good for us to be pining away for them and that they arent worth shit :)
from aliboomboom :
We all have our Mr. Bigs and if we are meant to be with them then we will be with them in the end, just like John and Carrie. However we all have our Aidans too and we think that we are supposed to be with them. Sometimes I wonder if Ian is my Aidan or my Mr Big? I guess we'll never know until it's all said and done. Just remember that there were bad times too. It's far to easy to just remember the good memories!
from aliboomboom :
Oh I can't stand sunflowers. I wish you were around here so I could give them to you! First of all I just don't like sunflowers, now I wouldn't get upset about them except for the fact that they came from someone I despise so much. Anyways we all have different tastes, I respect that you like them. I am sure a lot of people do. As far as Mike goes, I am trying to work on liking him more but I am hoping to just void him out of the equation. He's an idiot. I am sure he won't remain interested in Griffin anyways. I hope you have a great weekend!
from betchy :
good luck for court and on your date. make sure to let me know how it goes. i will be keeping my fingers crossed for both occassions x
from betchy :
good luck in court, and with your date. make sure you let me know how it goes. i will be keeping my fingers crossed for you for both occassions x
from betchy :
good luck in court, and with your date. make sure you let me know how it goes. i will be keeping my fingers crossed for you for both occassions x
from betchy :
good luck in court, and with your date. make sure you let me know how it goes. i will be keeping my fingers crossed for you for both occassions x
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. You are right. I am really happy. Griffin is so amazing. I can't believe that I went through a period of not wanting him. He's wonderful and he makes me feel as if I am the most important person in the world. I'm sure that he'll change his mind in a couple of years but right now I am the best thing in his life and that is pretty special. Anyways I hope that things are going well for you. I'm going to catch up on diaries as soon as I find the time!!
from horseshoes :
Good luck for tomorrow AND Friday!
from hapagirl :
hey girl, just wanted to send some good luck wishes your way...let us know how the date goes!! :)
from betchy :
hey girl, hope that your date goes well. you often find that once people start breaking up, everbody does. well if it doesnt go well with dave at least you will have lots of single girls to hang out with. are you interested in getting reviewed at all? i have just started a review site with another d-lander, we are called chicksreview, leave a note if you want a review. take care x
from yellowrosetx :
Love hurts, but break ups hurt worse! I hope it gets better for you soon! Enjoyed your read! XOXO "Rose"
from betchy :
its a great song!!! its called "oh darling!!" but i cant remeber which album it is on. maybe abbey road? cant remember. like i said my dads a huge fan, and me and the girls always substitute "darling" for "dad" when we sing it. he loves it!!!
from singlegirl :
I am going to write about seeing my ex this weekend in my diary too:) It is weird, isn't it? I was sitting between Ben and Jeremy on Saturday night (we were playing a drinking game) and at one point I looked at Ben and couldn't remember if we were very affectionate when we were together. Keep in mind that we just broke up a little over a year ago and we were together for almost three years. I have very little recollection of how we were together. Plus it's just strange to be around him. I feel very uneasy and I don't know what to say to him. It's odd because in some ways because he knows me better than most people in the room, but in other ways we are the most distant. It's a very strange feeling.
from betchy :
"oh darling!please believe me! i'll never do you no harm" are the words you are looking for. my dad was a big beatles fan, i was brought up on them x
from betchy :
bongo, i lke that its a really cute name!!! cats are great company, but they can do my head in aswell. as soon as you get in from work and they're all round your legs meowing your like "let me sit down for five minutes, please!!" i love them though. let me know what happens with these groups then, i really hope you enjoy them. take care x
from horseshoes :
I love riding. It's a real release when I just need to get away from everything. You should give it a try if you are interested. I'm not into showing or anything. It's just nice to go trail riding and camping. That and I have met alot of people that way. It's always an adventure!
from aidawrites :
The Yahoo thing sounds interesting, im going to check that out. I do remember that episode, he was an awful kisser, reminds me of Cliff, tongue all over, yuck! Why cant guys use less tongue and more lips? We should give classes! some guys have no rhythm at all, ewwww. Cliff just forces his tongue in my mouth for a simple hello or goodbye, im sure they think we like it, but its so gross.
from betchy :
hey hey girlypants, liking the new colour of your layout!!! those groups sound like just what the doctor ordered, i bet you will have a wicked laugh. hope you have fun with them sweetie, chat soon xxx
from betchy :
what type of cat do you have? what is he/she called? i love hearing about other peoples cats.my little legs licks my nose!!!
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. I am sure that your brother is a fine dad. I hope that Mike can be one day. I'm not really taking his rights away, that is not in my power. I am just making him work for them. He hasn't done anything yet so it will be good for him to put some effort into being a father and at least if we go to court then I know he's serious and he knows that he has to be because he is legally required to be. Anyways Newlyweds is a great show, it's hilarious. I would freak out if I had to drive while people were following me like that. Insane. Oh and good luck with the car thing, I know it must suck.
from aidawrites :
Hey have a great vacation, mine is not as long as yours but i cant wait either! Good luck with the judge!
from aidawrites :
Thanks! I just cant get rid of my teddy bears, i love them!I just bought a digital camera so im taking lots of pictures, im going to post more soon. Oh and the good thing about not driving your car is saving the gas money, its ridiculous these days. Hope you have a good rest of the week, my week is not a short one, but im taking all of next week off! isnt that great?
from aliboomboom :
Nicholas Sparks is awesome. Read the book and see the movie quick quick quick. Ryan Gosling is a God. You'll fall in love by the end of the movie and you'll cry. It's sensational!
from aliboomboom :
Please go see the Notebook, it is so good!!
from singlegirl :
I just got caught up with you and I'm so sorry to hear about your incident. I'm so glad you're okay and that nobody got hurt. My friend went through a similar situation, and as much as it sucked, she got through it. She had to ride a bike 3 miles to work in 100 degree heat (she lives in Arizona), she also had to spend the night in jail (they had to wear pink underwear), and her insurance is higher for the next few years. I think she came through it a better person. Think of this as a learning experience - maybe you'll discover a passion for cooking or for the marital arts. You never know - I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Hang in there, I'll be thinking of you:)
from aliboomboom :
Oh and yeah the 3D ultrasounds are awesome. I love my pictures of Griffin. I don't think that he looks like either of us but I guess sometimes you can tell and sometimes you can't. I hope he looks like me. I really do. Although I'll love him no matter what. I just don't want him to be the spitting image of his asshole father!
from aliboomboom :
They always say that making mistakes is worth it if you learn from them, it sounds like you have! I regret everything I did while drinking too so don't feel bad!!
from jadesmn :
It's been quite awhile, but I just wanted to tell you I sympathize with your situation and I have to say you're handling it quite well. I'm sorry sorry I know it feels terrible but your parents are right it's not the end of the world and this too shall pass. All my best!!
from betchy :
its easy to have positivity!!! you just have not worry about stuff until it happens. and then when it does just deal with it the best you can. thats what i do. i dont think about things until they happen. i dont know if thats the best way or not, but it works for me. anyway sweetie, you will be fine. so you dont have any money for a month. thats o.k, a month isnt a very long time. and by the way i really dont think you have a drinking problem. my friend seans mum died of alcholholism, and his dad, who he didnt know, took him in when he was 16. his dad gave up drink to look after sean. sean always goes out and has a drink, but only once, maybe twice a week. for ages he convinced himself he was an alcoholic, just like his parents, and it took him ages to realise that he just liked having a good time. not everyone who goes out and gets wasted has a drinking problem, just like not everybody who has a joint now and then is a druggie. i deal with alcoholics every single day, if you saw the sights i see, you would know you havent got a problem. trust me i'm an expert!!! hope that helps a little sweetie, take care xxx
from aidawrites :
Im so sorry about the DWI. It really could happen to anyone. I know I drove at least once this weekend while intoxicated, and I know the kind of risk Im running. It sucks that it happened to you, but keep your head up, sometimes shit happens and theres nothing you can do about it. Remember, This too shall pass.
from betchy :
hey you, just read about what happened, i'm so sorry!!! that is just so awful. guess there isnt anything to say that will make you feel better, just that i hope your parents take it ok. weren't you cross at jason for phoning the police on you? i would have been fuming!!!
from tanprincess :
damn girl, i' m so sorry to hear about your incident! hopefully everything went good w/ your parents. i can not imagine being hand cuffed and put in jail for 4hrs. i can't believe that guy called the cops saying his car was stolen!! what a dick!!!
from aliboomboom :
I think that the ultrasound pictures are pretty cool myself. I just adore the baby. I don't know what to do about Mike. He showed up on Thursday and we talked on Thursday night but he hasn't called since. I just wish he would go away. It would make it all the easier for me and for Griffin. I don't think that he is taking any of this seriously. I don't think that his family is either. I know how you feel about disappointing your parents, it's hard. I wish that you didn't have to do it. I hope that you can get the charges lessened, that would be great. I am sure that your parents will be understanding. I never thought that mine would be as great as they are being, have faith in them. They know that you aren't an alcoholic and they love you so you'll be fine. I also understand how you feel about Jay, I would die if Ian ever found out about the baby!!
from aliboomboom :
What the hell? That Jason guy is a total dick, why did he do that? Did he not give you the keys to his car? I'm sorry that this has happened, I can't imagine dealing with a damn DWI. What a pain. Maybe it's a good idea if you quit before you have a real problem. I'm just shocked that someone would act the way that Jason did. I'm glad he is dropping the charges, what an idiot. I hope that everything goes well with your mom and dad, I'm sure that they'll understand. I know how much it sucks to disappoint them though. YOu are in my thoughts.
from betchy :
hey you, havent heard from you in a while!!! are you feeling the love for singledom yet? or is it still bumming you out??? you've gotta love it! look at me - i've got the 2 best looking blokes in weston coming round my flat tonight, even though i am a fat bird. ye ha!!!
from aliboomboom :
I am glad that you had a good time. I love drunk karoake, so funny. I am sorry the guy from Eharmony is losing your interest. That sucks, hell all men lose my interest after a while though so why expect anything different from online dating?
from aidawrites :
Hey! I'm glad someone agrees with me about the Reagan thing! He was so old anyway, it's too much of an important job to give to someone who is 73 which was his age when he took office. Anyway, do they let you see pics on e-harmoney of the guys? It just sounds like such a complex serious thing when they talk about it in the commercials. I've been on Match for a little while but I havent met anyone from there, I always feel weird about talking to people online. have you tried that one?
from science-boy :
Hey! Thanks! Glad to see you back! Good luck with the new job! More exclamation points!!! Have a great day!!!!! s-b
from aliboomboom :
Good luck with eharmony, keep us updated!
from aliboomboom :
High school was the glory days for me too. I led a perfect existence and I didn't notice at all. I was tall, tan, extremely thin, I had beautiful clothes, a beautiful boyfriend, great friends, and no worries. I long for those days. I'm like fifty pounds heavier now than I was in high school but thirty of that is due to pregnancy. Yucky. I hate it. I hope that you find something else to do to occupy your time until you are ready to settle down. What is preventing you from being ready? The right guy or something else? I'm ready. I have been for a long time though. I loved being in a serious relationship with Ian. I wish it had lasted. $700 seems right to me too. I just don't know how I am going to swing that. They say that prices fall when the child gets older so I hope that is true. I am hoping I can find someone to watch him at their home. That would be better for me. I don't know what I'll do. I will just have to find something, it's not like we have options at this point. Thanks for the insight though.
from aidawrites :
Girlfriend, we are on the same boat, and I do understand, believe you me. I have good days when i'm optimistic about my single life and I have bad days when everyone is out with their significant others and I feel lonely. When I have the bad days I try to remember that overall, life is good, and life is drama-free. I can concentrate on my studies, my work, my diets, my family, and my personal goals. I've actually been buying books today about being single and dating, i've also been spending time at the bookstore reading books that make me feel better about my situation, and watching lots of Sex and the City DVDs. It helps! But Most of all, us single girls gotta stick together!
from betchy :
hello, i thought i'd stop by to say.........dont be fed up ofbeing single!!!! i am single, and i do get a bit sad sometimes when i see all my friends in couples and stuff, and being the only single person in an entire office of 131 does sometimes bring it home that i'm getting older and should be thinking about settling down, but i try to think of all the positives. i dont think of the stuff i dont have, i thinkof the stuff i can do!!! when your single, you dont really have to think of anyone other than yourself. i dont mean in a selfish way, but your actions only really affect you, you dont have to worry about what someone else will think or whether they will be mad. if you want to stay out drinking till 4am then come home wasted, you can do it!!! if you meet someone nice and you want to give them a litle kiss, and have a bit of a flirt, you can do it and not worry someone will see and tell on you. these are the things i try to think about anyway sweetie, hope it makes you feel a little better about being a single gal, take care, beckz xxx
from aliboomboom :
I'm sorry that Jay didn't feel like he could stay at he barbeque because of you. That is wierd. I guess Ian and I would act the same way though. It has to be a little awkward bumping into one another. As for my sister, I don't know what her problem is. I tried to email her to work things out and she won't accept my apology. I didn't even really think that I should apologize but I did to smooth things over. It's always me smoothing things over. Is she really jealous of the baby? Isn't that kind of sick?
from betchy :
wow, i'm really glad you like my diary, i jst write the same way as i talk if you know what i mean, as soon as it comes into my head i write it. i'm not a very serious person in general, i dont ever really get the hump (apart from when i have been drinking gin), and i dont ever really get upset, so thats probably why my diary isnt very serious. i just tell it the way it happens, and if something bad happens, tough shit, i get on with things and try not to dwell on it. my friend lisa found my diary on here the other day coz she had heard me talking about it, and because my nickname is betchy, she knew it was me straight away, and she said "its just like listening to you talk, i can hear you saying all those things!!!" so if you like my diary you would probably like me!!!! anyway, off on a bit of a tangent there, thanks for the nice note was what i actually meant to say, so thanks for the nice note, take it easy, beckz xxx
from aidawrites :
What a lovely story. It's so magical when strangers leave such an impression on us. Everyone has a story i guess, and I hope her's has a happy ending. I guess we can only wonder. I've been a nervous wreck about Marc all weekend trying to figure him out, but nothing works. I look in his eyes and I see a good man, and that he could do no wrong. All i could do at this point is try to be less paranoid and enjoy the ride while keeping my guard up.
from aliboomboom :
I too hope that she got off the plane, ran into his arms and realized that is where she should have been the whole time. I am a hopeless romantic also and it's nice to think that some people have happy endings. As for me, I feel like all happiness is lost. I could never tell Ian about the baby. He is not the type to understand or forgive something like that. I can't expect him to. It's also a pride thing. I don't want him to know how severly I have screwed up my life. I don't want him to know how unhappy I am or how much I still want to be with him. I don't want to cause him pain. It is best if we just part ways completely. I love him though. I love him so much that it hurts me. I don't know how I am going to live the rest of my life knowing that my son might have been the one thing that kept Ian and I from rekindling our romance. I don't want to resent the baby but if things don't stop piling up on me then I feel like I always will. I don't know if I'll tell my parents or not. It's still so hard and I am getting more and more depressed every day because I realize that Mike will never be the one for me and I don't know that I want to share a child with him. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to go at it alone. My brother found out yesterday. Apparantly one of his friends asked him and he asked my sister and she told him. I can't be mad at her, she couldn't lie to him and I understand that. I was just not ready for him to know. Everyone keeps saying that it'll feel better when I'm not hiding it anymore but it doesn't. I didn't want him to know, I don't want him to know, etc. It's all so very horrible. Mike and I talked for an hour last night and he didn't help things at all. He yelled at me for being sad and I almost hung up on him but I figured one of us had to be mature and it looks like that will forever be my role. I'm just utterly miserable every second of every day. I told my bosses on Friday so I am dreading work tomorrow because I don't want to talk to anyone about it. I just want it to go away!!
from aliboomboom :
It's definately not the best situation to meet someone while you are wasted but it's not that bad either. As long as he doesn't have a problem with alcohol abuse then drinking is fine. Plus you might have met him the one weekend a month that he goes out or something like that. Give him a chance and tell us more about him!!
from aidawrites :
I think essentially all women worry about the same things, women our age anyway. We're just figuring out life and what we want from it. I hope you have a good time in NJ! Have a great weekend!
from aliboomboom :
Have fun in NJ!! Oh and early flights do suck but at least you get a full day in when you get there and that is the benefit of it all.
from betchy :
Hi your got your name off of aliboomboom, thought i needed to leave you a note coz us single gals gotta syick togeva!!! so how come you and jay broke up, was it just because of the drinking and drugs?? or was rhere other stuff to? really like your diary by the way, it is real cool. and this might make you feel a bit betta about being single, i am the only person in an office of 131 people that is single!!!that is no word of a lie!! i have to take my friend karen to office parties where partners are invited!! but do you know what i raelly love it!!! check my diary out if you get a chance, i'm going to add you to my faves if that is ok! take it easy beckz x
from aidawrites :
WOW, congrats, congrats! Youre rich! really, i'll be lucky if i ever make it to the 40K mark. I bet you're really good at your job if your boss likes you that much!
from science-boy :
Congratulations on the raise! My Target doesn't have frozen food. I feel ripped off, and I didn't get a raise yet. Are you on the next "It's Good To Be..."? Have a great day! s-b
from tanprincess :
yay!!! for your raise and promotion!!! congrats money bags! LOL what kind of flowers/plants are you going to plant? i just planted some snap dragons the other week and they are beautiful!!!
from tanprincess :
girl yes i hate being lonely. after being out all night drinking or whatnot it seems like everyone has someone to go home with/to except for me. there are times i want to come home and just have someone waiting for me and excited to see me. i have not had that in so long. i find that lately i get more and more lonely as each day passes by. i'm just so sick of doing things by myself. i love my alone time but i just wish i could hurry and find someone to my time with. i just miss having that bond w/ someone. it seems like i've been single for so long now and all the men i've met lately are just missing something. i dont want to settle just so i am not lonely anymore, but damn it looks like it may end up that way. i dont know how much more of this crap i can take. i mean hell a vibrator can only do so much, ya know! LOL i just feel like i have so much to offer and can't understand why everyone else has found "him" but i can't seem to. oh and x's suck ass, i was hung up on my x for over a year but finally getting over him was the best feeling in the world. i love not getting those butterflies in my stomach when i see he's calling or emailing me, its liberating almost!! well good luck w/ everything and hang in there, i'm going to try to!!!
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. I go back and forth on my feelings about Mike and my feelings toward the baby. Mike ended up standing me up on Friday night and hasn't so much as called since then. I'm sure he spent his weekend doing all the things that I wish I could spend mine doing. I've had horrible anxiety all weekend about my parents coming home. I don't want to tell them, I don't know how I'll ever get through it. Ian's called all weekend and it's making me really depressed. I know it's best that we don't talk though. I can't resent the baby and I will if I confirm that we can't be together because of him. I am glad that you have closure with Jay. It's hard not to have feelings for your exes. I think it would be great of you to pay him back the money, that says a lot about your character. I hope that the rest of your weekend went well! Oh and please don't be jealous of me ever. Wait until you are in love and make the decision to have a baby, don't let it be an accident. It has caused me more heartache than ever imaginable!!
from aidawrites :
Whats an ARM? sounds like something ive heard before but i cant think of what it is. btw, what do you think of equity lines? good, bad? you seem to know a bit about that stuff.
from tanprincess :
i think there must be a whole lot of us women who have been missing out on good sex..what is up w/ that?? if things dont get better soon i may just have to break down and spend 80 damn dollars (lol) on a dang toy!! so so pitiful! whatever happened to the good ol' days when i was having good--no great sex 2-3x's a week!! it's just not fair! glad your new toy kept you very entertained last night! do your thing girl!
from aliboomboom :
The golf cart job sounds awesome!! Go for it! Oh and way to go on the party!
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the compliments, I feel anything but beautiful right now so it's nice to hear that I once was and might still go back to being that way at some point in the not so near future. I think I am pretty lucky so far though (knock on wood) because I haven't had any acne yet and I haven't gained as much as some women do at this point. Did you know that right now my uterus is the same size as a soccer ball? Ew. The baby still has to grow into that and then it'll start getting bigger. I'm worried about the stretch marks too, trust me. Ew. I already have them from being so tall and I don't want anymore, ever. You are right, most movie stars go back to having their great figures but we'll see about me. My mom did so that's inspiring. It's just getting through the next few months of showing that I am worried about right now. As for a glow, I haven't noticed one but who knows? It'll be far better after I get a tan. Fat girls always look better with a tan, huh? You are right, I need to start working out. I keep telling myself that but I never get around to it. I hope that everyone is right about my parents. I hope it helps and doesn't make anything worse and you're probably right that most people think pregnant women are pretty but honestly I've always been grossed out by them so I am definately not the best judge. Thanks for all your notes and support, you wouldn't believe how much it has come to mean to me.
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. You are right. I used to be happy. I can't imagine ever being that girl again though. I feel as if I have lost her. I hope you are right, I hope I find happiness again somewhere.
from aliboomboom :
I am doing a little better, I guess. Not great but I'll get there, I hope. I am still worried about telling my parents. I am so scared of that, I feel as if I am 17. I guess I'll just have to tell them and see what happens. I can always do it by myself if they don't want to be involved. I dno't dread the baby half as much as I dread getting fat. It's so embarrassing!
from aliboomboom :
You handled things so well with Jay, way to go. I am glad that you have closure and I am glad that you can move on. Memories of past realationships will alsobe bittersweet. I know that I'll miss Ian when I think about him but at the same time I know that there were bad times and that we don't belong together. Ultimatley Jay is right, it just wasn't meant to be. You'll find someone else and all will be well with the world.
from tanprincess :
isn't it funny how a vibrator can brighten up your whole day!!! haha you go girl!! LOL
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the comment, I try to be positive but one minute I am and then the next minute, it's all back to being bad. I don't know what to do at this point. I need to seek therapy. I don't know if that helps or not but it's the only thing that I can think of at this point! Thanks for continuing to read, I appreciate all the notes and support.
from aliboomboom :
I'm sorry to hear about your brother but at least he pays the child support, that has to say something for him. As for being born under a black cloud or creating it yourself, I don't know. I think that everyone makes mistakes but some mistakes just have bigger consequences. We are all irresponsible at times and sometimes we have to pay for it and sometimes we don't. I have made a lot of stupid errors in my life but in the end, it's how you react to them that matters. Maybe your brother is trying to get things back on track for himself. I admit, it's a little odd that he lives at home at 33 and he's just going back to school but hey he's going back to school after all and that's a start. Be supportive, try to help. A lot of people have wild pasts and once they are ready to change, they can really do 180s. Happy Easter!
from aidawrites :
Hey, i didnt know that the PMI insurance can be taken out once your home appraises for 20% more of what you owe! Thanks for the useful info! My mortgage company forgot to mention that one, damn crooks.
from science-boy :
I thought so, too. Works with water. Oh well, I'm a science-boy, not a clairvoyant-boy. Ooo. There should BE a clairvoyant-boy! Have a great day! s-b
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. I know that I am not the first or the last person to go through hard times, I just don't handle them very well. Your diet sounds very healthy and I hope it works out for you!! Good luck!
from science-boy :
Are you sure she wasn't reading her Palm Pilot and came across her own calendar? He's out there. Trust me. The rules of science dictate that there is a matching particle for each particle out there, attracting the other across the miles. You'll bump into him. When you least expect it. Have a great day!! s-b
from aliboomboom :
I don't know what is going on in Salem. I am ready for Marlena to go away. She always has a problem. I think that they are actually going to do away with Alice and Marlena because they haven't renewed either of their contracts yet. Can you believe that? And what is up with Jan trying to kill Belle? I mean come on. I think Nicole stops her from doing that though. As for Sami, I hate her. I wish that Marlena would kill her. I guess that's all. I don't want poor Alice to die. Shouldn't someone have checked on her by now? I mean she's in her eighties. They shouldn't leave her alone at night. The actress who plays Alice said "I don't want to leave but this happens all the time and I guess it's my turn to be written out of the show." How sad.
from aliboomboom :
I am doing a little better, I guess. I am glad that people are still reading even though I find myself boring these days. I think it's great that you are so close to your family, that is really important these days. I guess it always has been. I'm close to my parents and my little brother but my sister and I just don't see eye to eye on anything. It's annoying but I guess I'm stuck with her. However I did come from a family where we went to church together every Sunday and we always ate together, I know that those things aren't important to you or your family but it created a lot of stability in my life and I could always rely on my parents taking the Christian standpoint because of our strong religious beliefs so there was no guessing when it came to what I should or should not do. Of course we did fun things too but I think it's really important for families to attend church together and to eat together.
from aliboomboom :
The problem won't just work itself out, it is going to take a lot of changes until my life is okay again. Major changes in my life, my friends, my opinions, my future, and my priorities before I or anyone else involved can be okay. Maybe that is what God wants though, I've been asking God for a long time to make himself more apparent in my life and sometimes he works in mysterious ways so while this might look like a train wreck right now, it might turn out well in the end. I have to remember, as we all do, that we look at life in the present whereas God can look at the future too. This situation has definately thrown me for a loop, it's not what I planned and it's not what I want right now but it's what was handed to me. I guess deciding how I wil deal with it will ultimately determine what kind of person I am. Anyways the first message that Ian left me was sad and it was bittersweet because I know that we will never be together again at this point and it made me ache for him, the same way I have for the past eight months. I thought that he needed me. I wanted to call him, I wanted him to tell me that he still loved and missed me, however I knew it would just make the whole situation a million times worse. Anyways when his mother wrote me the letter, it was bittersweet too because I really cared about everyone in his family. I even cared about his sister and I never said more than two words to her and wouldn't have been her friend in any other situation but it still made me sad. It was his last call, the one on Wednesday night that made me realize he isn't who I made him out to be. He was and he isn't anymore. I can no longer pine away for a man that isn't there. He has become a waste of human space, he is consumed by things that do not matter and I can't fathom being as shallow as he is. Anyways I am changing my phone number so that I am no longer tempted to call and so I will no longer have to deal with his shallow attempts at us being friends. My life is far too complicated right now to deal with him. I'm sorry that Jay didn't turn out to be the way you wanted him to be either. The people that we love the most are often the people who also disappoint us the most. Maybe he will come around and maybe the two of you will end up where you need to be or maybe you are already there. You never know what the future holds. It's serioulsy amazing how one day can change the rest of our lives.
from aliboomboom :
I haven't written anything since the diary is locked, I just locked it so certain people couldn't read the archives section. Ian called this weekend while I was in KY and well I just have a feeling that he or someone he knows has found my little ole' diary and they are making their own conclusions about what the problem is. I didn't ever want anyone from my personal life to read my diary, that's not what this diary was all about. Anyways Ian calling just added to my problems and made them seem fifty times worse. Ian is all I have ever wanted in my entire life and now I know that we can't be together and that breaks my heart. He wouldn't be able to handle the changes in my life and it makes me sick that I have to give up everything that I have ever wanted. I'm trying to believe that God has a plan for me but it feels like he doesn't know me at all because his plan sucks so far. Anyways I'll definately give you the code if I write more but for now it is just locked due to the archives. I should have never put pictures on my diary. I took them down a couple of weeks ago to prevent anyone who knows me from figuring it all out but I just have a bad feeling about the whole thing. Anyways thanks for the note. I appreciate your thoughts and concerns, you can always email me at [email protected] if you have time. Thanks!!
from aliboomboom :
I just need a couple of days to absorb the situation and make my own conclusions before I tell the world. I do want to know what others think though so as soon as I know more. I will let y'all know more!! Thanks for being patient and helpful even though you don't know the full details. Sometimes we do make things out ot be worse than they are but right now this seems pretty bad.
from aidawrites :
i was in your same situation at one point but i did seek counseling and it did help. only you could break the cycle. be strong. :)
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. I understand what you are saying, I do get attached to people very quickly. I didn't mean to be quick with you, it's just I frustrate myself over the same things. I guess I just feel like I can tell my diaryland friends what I really feel whereas I have to pretend with my personal friends, ya know? I just think that the friends that I see day to day, enjoy my failures so I have to put on a front for them and I just kind of let my vulnerable side down here. Chad just seemed like someone who could make me smile for a while and I'm just ready to get away from this place that Ian left me in. Thanks for the note though, I am glad that someone thinks I am beautiful and sincere and all the other wonderful things that you described me as. Thanks.
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. I'm really not that worried about the Chad thing anymore, I am just disappointed in myself. I know that it wasn't a big "loss" but he was someone that I actually thought could amount to something and that is a big deal to me. As for pining after every guy that looks my way, I don't do that. I think I've mentioned a total of maybe four guys in my diary and that definately does not equal the amount of guys that I have met in the past four months. I'm sorry that you think that I am needy and pathetic or whatever but I rarely feel a connection with anyone and I felt something with Chad. I know that I'll move on and I'll be fine but my diary is where I am actually allowed to write out how I really feel. I am disappointed in the fact that he didn't call and I am disappointed in myself, sorry if that disappoints you.
from aliboomboom :
I'm glad someone can remain rational and drunk at the same time, I sure can't. Anyways maybe you'll get to see him again soon, I'm sure it can be arranged!! Don't be afraid of getting hurt, you guys could end up having something great or you could be great friends. I've already messed things up with Chad, now the question is will I get a chance to rectify the situation?
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note, I know exactly what you mean. Chad did call on Friday and I saw him on Saturday but I don't know that it helped anything at all. Maybe it's just me. I always tell myself that I am not going to make out with a guy on the first night, I know it's not how I want to be perceived at all but it's really hard for me to have willpower and to be strong when I am drunk. Let's just hope I didn't ruin everything with him already before even getting a chance to see if we could have had something. Anyways I hope your weekend was great!!
from aliboomboom :
The roomate situation sounds terrible!! I can't imagine living with my sister, we thought about it but then we thought better of it although we are thinking of it again. My friend, Renee, owns her own house and lives in it with two or three other people depending on what month it is or whatever. She has been screwed over by at least three of them. They owe her so much money. One of her roomates created a huge phone bill by calling psychic lines and then she disappeared, she hid random articles of food around the house too. Right now her roomate is dating a guy that went to high school with us and he is always there and he takes showers too and makes messes and she can't stand that he doesn't pay rent. It's horrible. Anyways I hope you guys can work it all out without too much conflict.
from jadesmn :
I'd love to meet at the Y sometime, I'm usually there on Mon and Wed after work and then saturday mornings. The other days I go on my lunch. I would definately check out both the Y and lifetime, lifetime is probably nicer to be honest but it's more convienent for me to go to the Y. I'll be there on Saturday morning for Pilates, or I'll also be there next monday after work if you wanna meet then, you can e-mail me I think you still have it. Let me know!!
from aidawrites :
Sometimes I feel like telling the world �Being single is not a disease!� when I tell people I�m single, they always give me the pity speech, �It�s okay, you�ll find someone.� I think being single is becoming less popular as I get older. But I rather be alone than be with bad company. Plus, being single is sooo much more fun!
from aliboomboom :
I'm not doing as great about working out as I wish I was either, the Y is nice but let's hope you don't have to deal with old men wanting to be your work out buddy too. It's horrible. I don't know if Chad will call or not, I was sure that he would Sunday but I don't know now. Maybe he's more of a player than I gave him credit for, I thought he was a nice guy. I just enjoyed talking to him and I really enjoy his arms, they're perfect and he has green eyes, I've always wanted to date a guy with green eyes. Oh well I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I'm not holding my breath...
from tanprincess :
hey it sounds like you had an awesome weekend! thats cool what you and your mom did, i bet that was a great time!! my v-day did not completely suck either, it was not as bad as i expected!!! guess it was just like any other day for me!!
from aliboomboom :
I hope that your weekend went well too. I am trying not to make a big deal out of the Chad thing, he is probably like the rest of them and won't call. I just can't let things like that bother me anymore. He is gorgeous though and he has the nicest arms and legs, of course there are millions of guys out there with nice arms and legs...we'll see how it turns out!!
from tanprincess :
hey thanks for the note! i have read your diary and i really enjoy it!! i enjoy reading other single girls diaries because i can relate so much!! thanks again~
from science-boy :
I wouldn't say she's manic/depressive. She's got a little OCD, and likes to be in control of her environment, so this whole thing really has her off balance. And I think she feels bad that it has effected her family. We'll be OK. I also only knew one grandfather. My father's parents died before I was born and my mom's mom died when I was 2. It's weird how distant and yet how close we can get with grandparents. Chin up, babe! Have a great day! Thanks! s-b
from aliboomboom :
I know exactly how you feel about your grandmother, I hadn't seen my grandfather for two years when he died. I never knew how much he meant to me until he was already gone. It's very sad. I'll never forget his silent strength or the way that he always put a hat on for church. He was such an interesting man yet such a man of few words. I don't handle any loss very well but his death was especially hard on me. I still have the other three left but there will always be a sad place in my heart when I think of my grandaddy. Anyways on a happier note, I can't believe that the Y costs so much up there, it's so cheap here. It's amazing the differences in costs!!
from science-boy :
If you go meet sled boy, please make sure you tell someone else about it and show them his picture. If teh guy shows up and looks different than the photo, get out. Immediately. I would prefer that he scan and send his license before hand, but... Just looking out for such a sweetie. I can't keep my big-brother instincts suppressed. Have fun and enjoy your Friday. I'll pour a drink for you while I'm working. I guess then, I'll have to drink it because I hate to waste. : - ) s-b
from jadesmn :
Hey, you're going to they Y, which one, I'm at the New Hope one 4 days a week. Maybe I'll see you, also if you're joining with a friend, you can say you live together and it's $75 for both, so you save a little money, I do that with Celeste and it works out great!
from science-boy :
Thank you so much! I can't believe that someone so sweet and kind and caring and insightful is stillsingle. What's up with that? Once the weather warms up, they'll be coming out of the woodwork to get you! You're awesome!! Have a great day! s-b
from aliboomboom :
I can't believe that it was only 3 degrees there, I would die. It gets down to like 15 here and everyone thinks it's the end of the world. If there is ever even a chance of snow, everyone goes to the grocery store like we are going to be stuck in our homes forever. It's ridiculous. Anyways I hope it warmed up and I hope you had a good time at the Super Bowl Party. I am so sad that the Panthers lost but I guess we're all undefeated again since the Super Bowl is now over. Hopefully next year the Titans will go!!
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. It is so nice to know that other people have been through the same things that I have been through and that it made them feel the same way. I guess it really does take two to tango, what do they expect from us with the sex thing anyways? It's never been about that for me, I hope Ian wasn't shallow enough for it to be about that for him. Of course if he was then I guess it's good not to have him around. Anyways I think he was more complaining that I didn't instigate but whatever, I just wanted to be around him, ya know? Thanks for all the notes. You won't believe you much better they make me feel. I hope you are feeling better also. Oh and about the cooking classes, Williams and Sonoma have them in their stores if you have one near you.
from jadesmn :
Actually they are through Minneapolis Community education classes, they have classes on everything you could imagine, I don't have the website right now, if you google it you should get their website, stuff is really cheap too. Thanks for the note, I thought the same thing, ok if Carmen Electra, this beautiful women sits home depressed, I can't be all that bad, it just goes to show, we women have a lot in common.
from aliboomboom :
I watched 'Til Death Do Us Part on MTV the other night too and it made me feel the same way. Isn't it odd that Carmen Electra gave us hope? I guess no matter how beautiful or famous you are, you still have to wait for fate to lead you to the one. It makes celebrities seem so much more normal when you hear about them going through the same emotions that we, the everyday people, go through. I'm definately going to keep watching to see if she can give me anymore hope or advice. I am glad that you feel better!!
from aliboomboom :
I am sorry that you are feeling sad about Jay. I can't really give you any advice but I am sorry and I know how you feel. You could always call him and see what he is up to, of course if he still has the drinking issues then that could just cause more heartache instead of any kind of healing. I'm sorry that you are sad though. I hope it gets better!!
from aliboomboom :
I know exactly how you feel, it probably doesn't help anything but I do. Ian and I have been broken up for almost seven months now and it feels like yesterday, I don't want to feel like this for six more years either. When you say that you and Jay have been broken up for a year it sounds so long but really Ian and I have almost been broken up for that long too. Time really flies when you are lonely, I guess. It doesn't feel like it does but it does. I really want to meet more people to, I wanted to take a class but couldn't find anyone to take one with me. Maybe you should just move to North Carolina with me and start all over. I hope that you get to feeling better. I'm sorry that you have to feel the way that you do.
from aliboomboom :
I'm glad that you are feeling better!! Thanks for the note yesterday, I really am having a much more positive week. I don't know what changed. I am just entirely too sick of worrying about Ian all the time. It's not worth it anymore. We will meet the people that we are supposed to meet and we can't control when or how, fate is a funny thing. Anyways I hope you enjoy your first day back at work!!
from starlight42 :
Your cat is like mine, except we have some closets that don't have a door handle, they're the kind with two parts & you move them to one side, anyway, he can open those! We get mad because he's not supposed to be in there. Hope you feel better, I have a cold too so I know it sucks.
from aliboomboom :
I really wish that we lived near one another so we could go drown all of our sorrows together. I truly feel like you are a better listener than any of my friends here. I just feel so pathetic because I'm not over all this, ya know? I want to be but I just can't seem to get the gloominess cloud to stop hovering over my head. We heard a band play last night and it was all songs like "Love Song for No One", "3 a.m.", etc. It was so depressing and it was like it all came plowing down on me. My sister was like "Oh God" and rolled her eyes when she found out I was upset. She fucking frustrates me so much!! I guess it's because she's never really had a boyfriend. She probably does have some issues, she's always been a little jealous of me and she was really bad last year when Ian and I were so close to marriage. I'm just over it. I mean I listen to her go on and on and on all the time over the most stupid stuff. I'm just tired of all of them and all of it. I hadn't talked to Jolene all week so I thought that she had seen Ian but she finally emailed me today and she hadn't. The whole thing just leaves a sick feeling in my stomach. I can't believe that your friend hooked up with your ex, why do people even want to go there? It's horrible. Well I have to go and try to work myself out of my fun, work sucks today too so that has just made it worse. I mean people think that I have to be in a good mood everyday regardless of what foul moods they are in or how mean they are to me but the one day that I just don't fucking even feel like faking it everyone gets mad at me because I am not pleasant. I am so frustrated by life and of sounding like a broken record. I hope that you feel better. I'm probably getting sick too, that might make my emotional state a little easier to live with and to understand.
from aliboomboom :
I guess you can always see things from two different sides. I just thought her note was a little negative, of course it could be because I am a little negative. I'm sorry to hear that you have had a rough couple of days too. I know how you feel though. I just don't want to go the rest of my life looking for something that I already had or marrying someone else and still wishing that things had worked out between me and Ian. It just comes so easy to some girls, I mean they go to college, find the love of their life and get married and then they are done with all of this stuff that we have to go through. I know that marriage opens a whole different set of problems but at least you are going through everything with the person that you love the most in the world. I always thought that it would all be easy for me like that. I don't understand why it couldn't be. I wanted to marry Ian, in ways I still do. I know it's repetitive and that I'll probably eventually be so boring and non productive that no one will even bother reading my diary but I'm just incredibly overcome with intense sadness and I don't know what to do with that. Thanks for all the encouragement.
from aliboomboom :
I just got the most depressing note on my guestbook. She said that I would always love Ian and that I would always think of him as the one who got away. She said that I should consider myself lucky for having what I had once because some people never have it. She told me to marry a friend and not worry about passion. Isn't that the most depressing thing ever? It doesn't give me much hope if it is true...
from aliboomboom :
I just wanted to say thanks for the note and to tell you that I am sorry that you are feeling sad and lonely too. It sucks. I am sure that in another six months, I will be fine. It's just getting to that point that is so frustrating and so hard. It just seems like the bad days are getting worse, ya know? I miss him, it's that simple. I don't know why or whether I should or not but he was my best friend and the love of my life and I miss him. I miss him more than I ever missed anyone in my life and I miss everything about him. I guess that missing him is just part of the process of getting over him. I know my diary is sad and repetitive but I am trying and I appreciate all your words of wisdom and all the advice. I will try to concentrate on other things and I will try to stay positive. I hope that you feel better too. If there was just a way for all of us to stop concentrating on the one then we would all be better off. Being in love is just so wonderful that when you fall out of it, you really realize how wonderful it was and that is the hard part. Good luck though, I wish I had some advice for you but I'm so pathetic right now that I can't really give advice to anyone. Thanks a lot, I appreciate everything.
from jadesmn :
Nice note from you, glad your new years went good as well, except for the throwing up, don't worry so did I. I went outside and tried to do it so no one would know, but then I came back in the party and it was all over my pants, real slick. Hey I just signed up to take spanish class. Kinda strange but I want to learn another language, and that would probably help the most. So I'm with you, let's just do things that we wouldn't be able to do with a boyfriend. I might have to use you for advice I'm taking a motorcycle class in April and I know your framiliar with them
from aliboomboom :
I'm lazy, what can I say? If I don't start working out next week then I will seriously go insane. I need motivation in the form of a tall, dark, handsome and free personal trainer...if only it were that easy.
from aliboomboom :
I am glad that your new year's went well. I have been trying to eat better too and I am joining the gym on Wednesday. I have to stay motivated. I heard a quote the other day that said "Don't look for qualities that you want in another person but develop them in yourself". Anyways I thought it was a pretty good quote but now I have a lot to do and improve. Good luck with everything. Oh and temperatures are falling here too so I know how that feels. Hope to hear from you soon!
from aliboomboom :
I am sorry to hear that you were so sick in October, I guess it is okay now though since you seem to be fine. I started working out last year and I was doing great until spring break. Then I spent the week not working out and I just kind of stopped after that. I am going to do it this year though, I really am. I am highly motivated. I wish I had been motivated a couple of months ago because I just found out that tomorrow night I have to wear a semi formal dress. I am starting to get nervous about this DC adventure. We are going to a party that costs $100, that is insane. Anyways thanks for the note, you're right we would have a great time together if we lived closer. Good luck with your resolutions, we'll have to keep one another in check.
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note, you always leave me such positive notes and they really help me feel better. I know what you mean about feeling too young to get married. Sometimes I feel that way too but then again when I was with Ian I didn't feel that way. I guess when you are in love you don't worry about things like age or timing. I think that thirty is a good age to get married, most couples that I know who waited until they were a little older to get married or way happier than the ones who got married right out of college. I am sorry that you are having a down day about Jay, I know how the what ifs feel. I think that you are doing great though. I miss the little things about having a boyfriend too though, the little calls during the day, the I love yous and you're beautifuls, the feeling in my stomach when I know that I'll see him soon, etc. They always say it's the little things that you'll miss and that is definately true. I guess it all just comes down to the fact that breaking up is hard to do. I guess we all just kind of have plans for our lives and when they start to fall apart, it kind of sucks. Anyways this is turning into a novel, I just wanted to say thanks for the note and for all of them. You really know what I am going through and I appreciate you taking the time to read my diary. Let's only hope that 2004 brings us more closure and maybe hot new guys to help us forget the previous ones. Hell maybe this will be the year that we'll all find true love. Here's to that.
from jadesmn :
Again, thanks for the note, I'm so glad you're at that point. I am sometimes but I guess I just slipped, it's really hard for me because Celeste is in a serious relationship right now and she was kind of my last single friend, now I guess I just feel alone. Anyway, thanks so much, it's nice to know there's someone else out there. Merry Christmas!
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note. It's nice to know that other people do the same crazy things that I do. I guess I let the hopeless romantic part of my mind get the best of me. It really would have been romantic but I guess I need to accept that romance is not in the future for me and Ian. Acceptance is definately the hardest step. I sent the card to his mother today and now I am having doubts about it. I am just so sick of thinking about him. It is driving me insane.
from jadesmn :
Thanks for the note, and we're definately going to get that drink after the x-mas craziness. You're sweet!!!
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the note and the entry. I think that I am suffering through all the middle stages right now. I guess I've been in denile since July. Hopefully it will help me too. I am just so ready to be over him. It's so unpleasant to feel this way. I wonder what stage involves overeating and wallowing in self pity. I am definately doing that. I am going to start working out more next week. I am getting a membership at the Y. Hopefully if I lose these 5 break up pounds then I will feel better about myself which will in the end make me feel better about everything. Thanks again. You've been a real help.
from captvfirefly :
Hi there! I found your diary while randomly grazing through the members area. Being a single girl myself (actually, divorced), I can relate to your diary. I just thought I'd say hello, and I'm sure I'll be back to read more!
from aliboomboom :
I think that his mom will like receiving a card from me, she will probably think it is sweet. It never helps for the ex's mom to like you better than whoever else he dates, ya know? I was going to ask him if it was okay if I sent her one but he is taking too long responding to my email so I guess I'll send it and deal with him later if I have to. He used to say his ex before me was psycho so I hope he doesn't think I am. All I am doing is sending a Christmas card. She showed up at his house for Thanksgiving. I won't send anymore after this, I don't want to harass them. I just want them to know that I miss all of them, not just him. Thanks for the advice. Oh and what are the five stages of grieving?
from aliboomboom :
Ian's mom and I were not that close but I was really close to his eight year old sisters. We used to take them everywhere with us. I don't feel like I can write them a letter without writing one to his mother. She was always really nice to me and she let me stay at her house all the time. A couple of times she offered to pay for my plane ticket to come visit him. I just don't want to end on bad terms with the whole family. He told me a couple of months ago that she thought he had really messed up things. I just thought it was a nice thing to do. I feel like it would help me with closure. I don't know, should I send it?
from aliboomboom :
Okay so you are Alicea, I just didn't know you by your real name. I am Alexia by the way. Anyways it was completely random because I had just gotten done reading your new entry then I looked at my comments and when I clicked on your name, it went right back where I had already been. Anyways thanks for all the notes. This has been a stressful week. I am glad to hear that you don't have holiday stress, that makes everything so much easier. I am supposed to see Lord of the Rings III tonight, I'll let you know how it is.
from aliboomboom :
Hey. I just started reading your diary, I am sorry about Jody. I hate it when my friends accept being treated bad. My sister does it all the time. It's like they don't think that they are worth being treated well which they are. It all has something to do with self esteem I think. Anyways I completely understand your struggle with the weight thing. I am 5'10 and I weighed nothing when I graduated high school and now it is a constant struggle. I have started exercising and eating right too so here goes. It was just so much easier in high school, it's completely unfair. Oh and the anorexic girls with long hair and hip huggers, they kill me too.
from hapagirl :
hey, i'm not sure when u left the note, but thanks. it means alot. ;)

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