messages to sunshine0221:
(click here to add new message):

from nicim :
5/11 ok - I'm back and you're not. What's with that? Did you move onto another site? Is your life boring? Don't you miss us? Love, N
from dinahsoar :
Hi! I just read a few of your entries and wonder how it is I stayed away from Diaryland so long. You are hysterical. As I'm reading back entries to catch up, I'm glad that Teeny is fine and that Millie's got balls! Great to be back!
from nicim :
hi sweetie - email me for username/password at nicim@twisterjester.com. Love ya! XXOO N
from hissandtell :
And exactly where are you, missy? It's been 19 days since your last entry, which is positively WEEKS longer than even I in my excessive lethargy and indifference have ever left between updates. Please come back quickly. (I'd say I miss you desperately, but that's possibly a tad extreme and may even sound just a teensy bit stalkery. PS - love what you're wearing.) Love, R xxx
from dinahsoar :
Thank you SO much!
from biodtl :
Oh, HELL NO! You paid his ass, he can just march right back down there and write it nicely, young man! Seriously - I would go to the person running things and demand something better. It's HIS JOB! What an ass.
from mnlady1962 :
WHAT?? No elevator to the third floor???? LOL!
from janetplnetoc :
I do that all the time, get a personal training session and think "oh, I'll remember this" and then go in the next day and I can't remember a thing. I use the machines hoping I'm doing it right and the whole gym isn't laughing at me.
from artgnome :
If I was paying, I'd better get a TYPED fitness plan, a meal plan and cardio suggestions, ALL IN WRITING. jeeeeze.
from acaldwell :
yegads!!! and you PAID him for ths?? dang!! you got took!!! i'd scream and get my money back!!!
from porchlife :
To paraphrase something someone I like once said to me in my notes: it's exciting and slightly creepy when someone I don't know adds me. Thanks for the add. I hope I remain interesting enough to stay.
from janetplnetoc :
I think Iowans are called CornPones. Actually, I just made that up.
from sparkspark :
I'd totally forgotten about Massholes, although I am one (or was, until I moved). I will now spend the remainder of the afternoon thinking of derogatory names for residents of states bordering Massachusetts. New Hampshire, you're first! XO Violet
from mnlady1962 :
Being in Minnesota, I can't say I have ever heard Iowans called anything. But we do like to say that Iowa is NOT part of the US. Durn foreigners!!!! LOL!
from chaosdaily :
we call people from illinois "flatlanders" and they call us "cheeseheads"
from aliannmil :
We called the poor drivers in Florida Floridiots.
from acaldwell :
masshole!! hahaha!! thats a new one!!
from wyndspirit :
I lived in NH for 13 years, and we always snarked about "Mass drivers." I about died laughing some time ago when a couple young men were standing in the Wal-Mart parking lot impatiently waiting to get past an elderly man trying to maneuver into a parking space. I heard one remark to the other, "You can tell HE'S from North Dakota!" I had no clue WE had that rep!
from poolagirl :
I-o-wegians. Like Norwegians - only from Iowa.
from haloaskew :
I know...bummed!!
from artgnome :
great pic! you have that lovely, sexy, bed-head look! I like it :)
from crazy4muffin :
You look like you have the modeling fan from project runway blowing on your face. Perfection!
from katiedoyle :
lol! this is why i love you. :)
from haloaskew :
At that point, you should've just whipped out the play utensils and an Easy Bake Oven and said "fuck it!" (Does Betty Crocker make margarita mix?) She should. She's one fucked- up-the-ass bitch who needs to unwind.
from rumblelizard :
53.5 degrees F. Holy shit, that's cold for indoors. I hope you were wearing sweaters.
from skibigsky :
"I also noticed that there appeared to be something wrong with my heat. It would have been easier to tell if I hadnt somehow changed my thermostat to centigrade when I was trying to program it. Which might not be a bad thing, because I suspect that if knew what temperature 12 actually is I probably would have been even colder." Haha! I never could figure out that celcius thing!
from biodtl :
Now see, I would see you and think, "cute hair"
from poolagirl :
My God! What a funny entry! You are absolutely precious!
from haloaskew :
The first time I hit the "O/D" switch on my gear switch I freaked out too. But then I fiddled around and found the button to turn it off. I still don't know when I'm supposed to USE overdrive, nor do I really care. By the way, a lot of repair shops/oil change places will do tire rotations for a small fee, or for free, if you have a tire patched or whatnot. They'll also do a "spin" to get them balanced correctly. It's a good idea to take a gander at your tires every month to see if any look low. Quick oil change places will check your pressure for free & add air if you need it. (If they have an empty garage stall, I just drive in and request it. Takes 2 mins. I usually try tip them a few dollars, but most times they won't even take a tip though!) There should be something in your car manual (or on the inside of the driver's side car door frame) about the optimum tire pressure. Mine's 32. This I know because I'm continually have to fill up my tires! (Finally got one patched, but it's still giving me problems!) Also, here's a good tip: If you ever go to have a part repaired on your car (even if it's just an air filter), make sure you request they SAVE the old part (have them jot a note on the service request), so you can look at it when you pay your bill. This shows the repair guys that you're more savvy than they realize...Less chance of them fucking you over!
from wyndspirit :
As a former tech support person, I can guarantee you that, yes, indeed, you would have ended up in my blog. If you doubt me, just read my archives pre-Oct. '03. :)
from smokefree-me :
Dropping the lurking cloak to let you know tire rotation is not, or should not be expensive. It is a system of swapping tire positions (front to rear, left to right) so they wear more evenly and last longer. As far as that dude with the Caddy goes - you are going to present him with the towing bill, right? Not like he'll ever pay it, but geeze - talk about taking advantage of a situation . . . Going back to lurking now.
from artgnome :
it's not like cadillac boy has not been warned for months on end. You have quite the cat litter issues there :) Regular maintenance for cars every season is the right thing to do, your car is happy, does not break down at inopportune times and sticks around longer outside the garage. Then again, maybe hiss is right and you are looking to bonk the mechanic.
from whystinger :
interesting...
from bonkrood :
Hee! Yeah, you should have your tires rotated once a season (4x yearly) to make them last longer. If you have a Les Schwab in your area, they will do it for free. Also, the LF 36 PSI 5 and LR 36 PSI 7 stuff is just references to the pressure in your tires--Left Front 36 Pounds Per Square Inch... (I don't know what the 5 or 7 stand for though) It's not so hard :) My dad's a mechanic and I drive hoopties so I can usually help....
from smedindy :
Nothing like a good work buzz to make Friday afternoon go a bit faster!
from hissandtell :
Oh, bonk the mechanic anyway, darling. You know you want to. Love, R xxx
from nicim :
TEE HEE HEE Por favor, si buscas un marido, aqu no es "Please, if you're looking for a husband - it's not here!" You're the best!! XXOO N
from upcountry :
haha! MOTORINNNN!! WHAT'S YOUR PRICE FOR CRIME! at least i think that's how the song goes. cheers, mrsmartini
from hissandtell :
Hey, possum - I read this just now and thought immediately of you: http://townsvillebulletin.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,7034,18015006%255E421,00.html - Love, R xxx
from acaldwell :
well, its like i say, google knows all!!!
from hissandtell :
Thylacines, or Tasmanian Tigers, are extinct. (Or perhaps they're all just hiding because they're embarrassed over all that interspecies necrophlia.) Now, do the boy leopards use a poisonous spine to kill the gal leopards? Or do they just bore them to death with hunting tales? Love, R xxx
from dinahsoar :
I can top your confession. Not only do I like Sister Christian, but I actually DO think the album cover is cool!
from skibigsky :
Actually, I've got Sister Christian on my iPod. I can honestly say that I could have never recalled the album cover, though. Eesh!
from essaywriter :
OK the only question now is - when you frame it to hang on the wall, which side are you going to have facing out? What a dilemma! ;)
from artgnome :
Oh my, the hair bands. I was more a Robert Palmer, Brian Ferry kind of girl back then. Oh and Joan Jett, she blew all those prissy boys away!
from acaldwell :
ahhh the 80's!!! fortunately, i was drunk thru 3/4 of it!!! heheheee!!!
from rumblelizard :
username: thunder password: lizard ....see you there!
from crazy4muffin :
After I moved into my new house I had to drive by my old place every evening for two months to pick up my little guy. He had worked so hard to make that "his territory" that it was hard for him to give it up. He got the hand after awhile; It is heartbreaking though.
from thundermtncg :
oh Lauren. I am sooo sorry and no matter what I say to console you won't do the trick. So I will just say this... I am so glad that there are people like you that will take the inititave to help those little guys that would be lost otherwise. You are in my prayers as is Wesley.
from dinahsoar :
You are just so beautiful.
from hissandtell :
You poor thing; it must have been heartbreaking for you. But what an intrepid lad Wesley is! Perhaps he has no siblings at his new place to attempt catricide on. Maybe you could send him a Teddy Ruxpin or something? Love, R xxx
from reynedecoupe :
AAaaaAAWW! Musta been so hard to send him away! "But Ma... I came back! Aren't you glad to see me??" *cries*
from acaldwell :
many cats "come back home" when they change people, even some travel across the country!!! tell wesleys new people to keep him inside the house for a few months, that aughta do the trick!
from bunny828 :
Wow! I have a feeling he'll be back ... again. Good Luck with that.
from artgnome :
OMGosh, Wesley is definately a one-of-a-kind cat!
from autumnleigh :
Not sure if you know this, but you can donate your car to charity (look online -- there are lots that take them) and declare a charitable contribution on your tax return for the blue book value, even if the car is worth far less than that. Sometimes, you can make out better that way. It's definitely less hassle. Of course if you donate it now, you can't claim it on your 2005 returns. Good luck.
from acaldwell :
i remember when u bought the vibe!! good stuff there!! when i was able to afford a car, i never had insurance until i got a dizzy feeling, then i would run to an allstate agent and give him $100 for some insurance, wouldnt ya know it, as soon as i had that insurance card, i'd get pulled over by the cops, and the 1st thing outta they mouth is "proof of insurance?" heheheee!!!
from artgnome :
funny how things, when given the time, sometimes work out ok. Glad you are rid of the old, and still enjoying the new. sorry I haven't said hi in awhile.
from skibigsky :
The husband plays the Poker Superstars thing, too, and if he were making real money that way, we could have retired AGES ago!
from bunny828 :
Your soap even looks like brownies. Maybe you should keep the recipe for April Fools Day.
from nicim :
your resolutions are perfect dear - and when you make that pina colada soap - don't forget me!! XXOO N
from mnlady1962 :
I love House and Sawyer, too. They are definitely on my TO DO LIST! hee hee hee
from artgnome :
when you have to put your foot down with someone, the best thing to do is to imitate the government. Send a formal looking letter, give the guy a date deadline to move the car, and if he does not, have the sucker towed. And there you go...pushover no more. No, it's not nice, but neither is using one's neighbor for fee parking.
from acaldwell :
i have poker superstars too!! and you should call someone and have them tow that junk heap outta your yard. its abandoned. prolly stolen, too.
from biodtl :
It's a complete possibility that I could get drunk and eat that soap.
from bunny828 :
OW! So sorry. I hope everything is fixed soon.
from bindyree :
Happy New Year! I'm glad you're on my Buddy List. ♥
from thundermtncg :
Hey...just a note on that freeway thingy. Just what the hell is that anyway? I KNOW those California freeways HAD to be designed by men! They totally don't make sense. When C and I went to Cali for the DisneyLand adventure, we decided to take a shuttle from the airport instead of renting a car. After all...we were only doing DisneyLand and our hotel was right across the street for the love of Mike....however, we did find that the only thing scarier than driving the freeway yourself, is driving the freeway with an ACTUAL CALIFORNIA DRIVER. Did you know that your life really does flash before your eyes? In C's case, that was a really short flash, but in mine it was a little longer. Believe me Lauren, driving yourself is better than trusting some stranger who speaks spanish and can't keep his eyes on the road because he's talking to the person on the radio or the guy in the front passenger seat! He even hit a few of those added lanes just for fun! Unfortunate for us...no one called us for an obscene phone message though. Our lives are so boring.
from biodtl :
OMG, that waiter would have gotten a big fat tip for that one!
from janetplnetoc :
It was the no testicles banner that got me here and the penis cake that got your name on my buddy list... gotta love a giant penis cake. Yay for sugary phallic confections!
from aliannmil :
Thanks for the giggle. I'm east coast living on the west coast for three years now and the freeways still make me nuts. I get around OK but I just can't get over the poor planning. Have a safe trip home and thanks for sharing.
from crazy4muffin :
I hate Califonia freeways. We landed in LA and had to take a rent a car to Palm Springs. The directions from our friend went something like-okay, you need to take the 520 exit, but it will be marked 360. When you see an exit for Palm Springs- DON'T TAKE THAT; the road will split into four lanes, make sure you are in the second lane to the left, etc. It killed me.
from yeahimadork :
Glad you survived the California freeway nightmare. Be happy that you were in Sacramento and not ANYWHERE near Los Angeles, because LA drivers are insane. I know, I'm one of them. :)
from acaldwell :
yea lauren, i can attest to what poolagirl just said, she is an excellent weaver and bobber!! i know i rode in her car when i went to journal con!! hehheee!!! i think you forgot about the phone-movie when you wrote to chris. hahahaaa!!!
from poolagirl :
Hey Lauren, glad you survived the goofy-ass drivers out here in California! I did the Midwest-Nice Thing for a few years, but now i can weave and bob like the rest of the assholes on the roads out here. Thanks for the update!
from bettyford :
i've spent the past few hours kind of watching laguna beach but mostly reading through your archives. you are way funnier than those over- privilaged children. love it!
from mom-on-roof :
Hiya Lauren! I haven't told you this before, I don't know why, I think about it every single time you update and I read it and I laugh or chuckle or just generally feel delighted with what you've written. And I think, "I should leave her a note and tell her how much I appreciate her sense of humor." And that's as far as I get. Until today. So, whew, about time!
from sweetresent :
SOOOO FUNNY! I laughed and chuckled. I need to make some notes myself.
from acaldwell :
dear lauren, did you know that fed ex and ups merged? starting jan 1, 2006, the merged companies will be called... FED-UP!!! social-ily, art-ily!!
from sweetresent :
Amen to the Charles Darwin Dammit entry. I second applaud and salute you. lol Sorry I was a little late in responding.
from beltwaybelle :
That's amore!
from crowbelle :
I meant that "Pat" should hook up with those other right wing-nuts, not "Paul" - slip of the fingers...my husband is Paul! Bex
from crowbelle :
You hit it right on the mark about Pat Robertson and his ilk. All I can say about him, that hasn't already been said, is "God forgive him, for he knows not what he does (or says)." He, like all those neo-cons on the right wing, are just clueless. They just don't "get it" and probably never will. Paul should probably hook up with that Laura Ingraham or even worse, Ann Coulter, who both seem to be a clone of his. Blech!
from beltwaybelle :
Yeah. Pat Robertson. The same brainiac who called for the assassination of the duly elected leader of a sovereign nation. Makes me want to bang my head against a wall.
from hydrogeek :
Amen. Psychos are psychos, regardless what theology they are spouting.
from thundermtncg :
Hooray! FINALLY someone who thinks he is a nutcase also! I have thought forever that I was the only one who could see it? I am just saddened by the fact that lots and lots of people look at his comments and lament..."well if that is what Christian is...I don't want to be one". Not that I haven't made big bad mouth booboos. You know the kind...when you wish you could just grab those words out of the air and stuff them back in your mouth!?!? I am most certainly the Queen of footinmouthdisease. But not as bad as Pat.
from bonkrood :
Completely excellent rant. I heard that quote about if they have a disaster blah blah blah on ABC News at work and I yelled out FUCK YOU and flipped off our on-air computer. What a fucking loon that guy is.....
from bunny828 :
Oh Yeah, Pat has fallen off his rocker. His statements get better and better. I wouldn't be surprised if some random lightning comes his way.
from hissandtell :
Yes, well. Feminism certainly encouraged me to become a lesbian and kill my children. Astonishingly, it also allowed me those pesky girly-perks like, oh, being educated, owning property, voting, making a will and testifying in court - all of which in a fortuitous round-about way means that I'm too clever, too old and too rich to listen to misogynistic moronic men mouth off about things they don't try to understand. Oh, how frustrating it must be for Pat and his cronies to feel their petty patriarchal power slipping away! Praise Darwin! Love, R xxx
from acaldwell :
pat robertson is getting old and senile, the only real people that listen to his every word are 80 year old shut ins and other people that have grown up listening to his spiels!!! he is a laughingstock. no one is taking him seriously.
from thundermtncg :
Oh I am a sad sight indeed. Dreaming of my vet...but why is it that the only man I see being a MAN is the guy who takes care of my babies? You know...I think life is totally backasswards. Or assbackwards...or backwordassway...whatever. Thanks for the note by the way! Hehehe...I will be able to unlock my diary come the first of the year! AND...I am getting a gold membership!!! Hooray!!!
from sweetresent :
Oh my God... you've summed up my life. Except I've gotta get me one of them TiVo's. lol Take care.
from acaldwell :
i like # 5!! hehehehee
from onewetleg :
yep, your weekend was much more exciting than mine! hehe.
from acaldwell :
funny stuff here!!! heheheee!!
from lovelydaisy :
I want pics of your car in their yard. That is too freaking funny!!! I am going to be moving into a trailor park, i am hoping to have some funny trailor park stories for people shortly :)
from candoor :
I miss a house (apartment dweller I've become)... it's so exciting to change a living space... I'll live vicariously for now :)
from nicim :
Beeyootiful! Can't wait to see the whole finished project. XXOO N
from hissandtell :
Damn! Just lost my note. Shall try to recreate it in all its spontaneity and wit. Yay for grout! And I adore your pile o' trash; you could tie your pit-bull up to it. (Also, is it just me, or is there something rawther appealing about the notion of freakishly tall cabinets and counters? Isn't it just perfect for ageplay and Goldilocks dressups?) Love, R xxx
from thundermtncg :
oh Lauren...I am totally with you on this one. Screw the well built thing...get what you want! Men are sooo stupid when it comes to these things! I hate to tell you this, but you need to get another GuyWhooWorksAroundTheHouse...you should get a gay guy or better yet, a metrosexual guy...yeah...that's the ticket. At least THEY have some style!
from breakangel :
Screw that! Beauty is pain, and often it's just veneers over countless cavities. Here's one vote for cheap Home Depot vanities!
from nicim :
i could tell you stories about home repair, but you can see for yourself at www.clubphoto.com, username nici. the album is "the new house". as to the vanity, replace it. i found out during 4 years of home repair that getting what i liked was most important and for some reason home repair people are always whining about store-bought. Who cares - it's not like we'll be around when a vanity finally falls apart! although i did salvage an existing vanity in the powder room by making a top of river rock and clear polymer so it loooks like rocks underwater - and putting in my own above counter sink. but it wasn't $80. XXOO N
from chaosdaily :
hmmm you might have a hard time "accidentally" running over your vanity.. lol
from acaldwell :
bwhahaha!! deliveries in the rear!!! unfortunately, theres no way i can think of that would make it sound better......
from sweetresent :
Oh what a nightmare Roomie!! I felt the frustration and exasperation in every word, and I commend you for not pushing him out a window. (The floor your on is entirely up to you.) ;)
from dinahsoar :
Yikes! Your mother had something goin' there! I actually WAS dehydrated (among other things). Thank God I'm doing better and I thank you for your support and words that brought a smile to my face.
from bunny828 :
What a fun couple of weeks! I agree with the comment before this one. Maybe there was a connection.
from biodtl :
Hmmm...crazy roommate...neighbor goes batty...perhaps there's a connection? I think you should be thankful you took action before you let your bird go!
from artgnome :
why anyone would CHOOSE to have a roomate is so beyond me. they are more often than not, from hell. even the best of friends take advantage when given the opportunity. I would never do it by choice again. too many years of it when I was younger, and I have the missing jewelry, clothing, money and food to prove it!bah!
from thundermtncg :
I thought I was going to split my side open from laughing so hard!!! All the time I was reading, I was also relating, because the same thing happened with my daughter. Only where we stopped she had to cross a barbed wire fence...and of course she comes back with various scratchies in unusual places. I am sure the cows in the field had a great show! The cow jumped over the MOOOOOONIEs???
from f-i-n :
whatup
from sunshine0221 :
The mom had the parmesan breaded tilapia. However, she had the same reaction the week before when she had something else. Maybe the salad is evil?
from biodtl :
Ha! As I was reading, I was thinking, I would SO have had my camera out. Glad I'm not alone.
from bunny828 :
Dare we ask what Mom had so we don't make the same mistake? I'm sure your mom was less than thrilled.
from poolagirl :
OMG! What a funny entry about your mom and her poop! She sounds like a hoot! Stay away from the Olive Garden!
from thundermtncg :
Hey! Thanks for the note...Oh my flipping golly! How come I never thought of making a penis cake??? Hhhhhmmmmm....could it be that it has been so long that I have forgotten what a penis looks like??? Naaaaaaa
from sunshine0221 :
Yes. Apparently the Penis Cake was a bit flaccid and could not stand on it's own. Either that or no one could keep their hands off it.
from bunny828 :
Ahhhh ... Niiiicee! LOL! Did it need support?
from poolagirl :
OMG! Penis cake! Really BIG penis cake!
from geeked-out :
That is one ginormous penis cake
from bonkrood :
Holy fucking awesome. How minty!
from nicim :
Love the penis cake. A VERTICAL cake - I've only ever seen HORIZONTAL ones (cut from flat sheet cakes). Makes for some stiff competition, doesn't it? XXOO N
from poolagirl :
I hope you start with the penis cake! Everything else would be just....flaccid in comparison.
from geeked-out :
woohoo Penis cakes!!
from acaldwell :
i think we can do without the penis cake pics! thanks! hope ya roommate works out!!
from essaywriter :
Well, don't tease us! Pony up with the penis cake pictures!
from mnlady1962 :
LOVE the "letting your bird go" saying. Absolutely LOVE it!!!
from twobaddogs :
That is one of the sweetest, saddest, most poignant, and funniest things I've ever read. NAtS and Peanut are lucky to have you. Yummmmmm!
from acaldwell :
i have let my bird go several times over the years. but every time, it came back!
from lovelydaisy :
Poor lady! I hope she gets the help she needs. I have weird neighbours, but glad they aren't that crazy!
from mommylap :
I am so sending that to quoted. "Letting Your Bird Go" that's awesome.
from crazy4muffin :
I thought lye was what you poured over dead bodies in bathtubs or old oil barrels in the barn to make them disappear? Sure, stick with that story about making soap. Wink wink, your story is safe with us.
from poolagirl :
You just crack my shit up! Soybulbs!
from acaldwell :
im suprised she didnt call the panic police!
from gumphood :
thank you so much for adding me!
from tuckandsophi :
I just clicked your mojito banner! Good one!
from sweetresent :
Oh my goodness! I love the puppy! I about passed out when I saw it. So cute!
from toastcrumbs :
I used to have two pet parakeets. I thought they would be cool pets and like any normal 16 year old girl, I asked for Wal-Mart's finest birds for my Birthday. Stupid ass birds. All they ever did was pick lice off of themselves, bite me, and scream. I wasn't too terribly upset when the "accidentally" escaped out the window. In Missouri. In October. I'm sure they were probably happier that way though.
from dinahsoar :
I love it! "You can never be too rich or too garish"! I completely agree. I also have a friend who is fond of saying, "You never look tacky when you wear khaki". Also true.
from crazy4muffin :
Get me a Ritz cracker so I can put that puppy on it and eat him up! Damnit that is cute. Birds? Not so much loving em. Had a friend with those birds. Let me just say they are very loyal and protective of their homes and I have a nice bite scar on my wrist to prove it.
from bonkrood :
That Shi Tzu picture is so f-ing cute I can't stand it.
from thundermtncg :
Thank you for your kind words. I know that we will all see our furbabies again at some point in time, but the meantime justs sucks. I hope that Sunshine and Ginger are fast enough to keep up with the TrampDog....he was not only the fastest little bratworst dog in the west, but the best of friends. Again...thank you
from bunny828 :
Drywall fairies. LOL! Did they live near the Cleaning Fairies? I'm glad my project list isn't as big as yours. I'm also having a urge to sew. I wonder if it's in the water or something?
from nicim :
ahem - I am STILL waiting for the Pina Colada soap with sparkles. Cause I really really like sparkly things that smell like drinks with little umbrellas. XXOO N
from acaldwell :
whatta pal, whatta pal!!! good linkys!!
from nicim :
I feel the same about the pets. Surely some accomodation could have been made. I understand human life has to come first and foremost.....but there were so many times it should have been possible. Rapists and murderers could come into the shelters, but not a helpless dog? Come on already.
from dinahsoar :
What a cool car! If you do drive to California, stop in and see me. Congratulations! Has Teeny been for a ride?
from idiomatic :
thought you might enjoy this: http://www.boingboing.net/_comics_outbursts_oet005.jpg
from acaldwell :
yay new car!! and lets see the cat driving the new car!! at the mc'ds drive thru even!! ordering a filet mc fish sammich!! heheheee!!!
from geeked-out :
YAY New car!! It's always so much fun. I'm jealous
from nicim :
Yippee...new car and all. I'll bet it even still has some of the new car small. And cupholders. I'll bet it has cupholders *moan*
from cunegonde :
very funny. very very funny.
from mommylap :
Whoa on the foxy grown up car!! It couldn't have been Willow. Xander would have saved it with a yellow crayon. DUH.
from thundermtncg :
oh I am soooo happy for you. Nothing like new car smell to make a day complete, eh? So I am sure we won't get to enjoy your wrighting for a while since you will be driving around now...Congratulations!
from witchful :
Congratulations! It's lovely.
from artgnome :
lovely new acquisition. bully for you! :)
from nicim :
OOH I love the new car. I'll bet the back seats go down to make more room in the back. It's always so difficult to maneuver around consoles, cupholders, steering wheels, and stickshifts don't you think?
from hollyfae :
yay! but does it have glitter?
from breathtaken1 :
Would that be a new car, or an ocean front lot? Congrats either way :)
from bonkrood :
Heh! Driving all the way to California will really cut your re-sale value so it's a good thing you didn't do it. I knew a guy who I THINK had Vibe and it had a fancy dash thing I guess it must have been On-Star or something, who knows. I know it was fancier than anything I have driven. Grandpa is doing okay, I'm just about to post an update on all that actually. Thanks for asking.
from bonkrood :
Wow and then you drove all the way to the beach to pose it for that picture? .....Ignore the snark, I'm just jealous! Is yours silver? Do you have that fancy flipdown thing on the dash?
from acaldwell :
by the power vested in me as supreme allied commander of the universe, i now pronounce you owner and car!!! you may kiss the car!! ta da!!
from acaldwell :
oboy!! oboy!! is it electric?? good job!!!
from acaldwell :
hahahahahaaaaa!!! whatta quote!!! woo!!!
from artgnome :
eyes glazing over just hearing about him. the poor man. poor you!
from nicim :
will they ever learn!! It's not the words they say - it's the ones they DON'T!! XXOO
from candoor :
hi... I stumbled over from the barnyard after visiting hiss and enjoyed your entries... you know, you could have handed Kelly the camera (or will there be more to the road trip?)... and about one photo in particular, are you sure they were selling rabbits?... kinda looked like they might have been selling rabbis, oy vey... keep shining :)
from thundermtncg :
There is nothing better than going shopping and not purchasing anything to make you feel on top of the world. I absolutely love doing that. I am in TOTAL control of my world...my destiny...my budget...I have no clothes. However...I LOVED the pic of the sign. And the witness protection person...hey...if you don't want to be found, don't go out in public. Not like she looked like Britney Spears, so why would she think you were the paparazzi? Sometimes we are soooo full of ourselves when we reach that age. Ouch. Did I say that in my outloud voice??? By the way...WAY COOL SHOES, Kell! When you out grow them...let me know where the yard sale is.
from katiedoyle :
tell kelly she's very pretty. :) and say a prayer for that33girlie and her new little premie son jacob, who is having some serious heart issues. kd
from crazy4muffin :
I'm not gonna say I haven't considered the dental school route, because I have. First, however, I am going to give the massage school people a little business. I am all about getting someone to touch my body for a reasonable price and it be legally sanctioned at that! What a deal!
from questquecest :
A wonderful photo essay - I came upon your link saved in my favorites, and realized that I hadn't visited, and this was a nice thing to see.
from dinahsoar :
What fun! I LOVE going on these shopping trips with you & Kelly (how come you never make it into the pictures - are you sure YOU'RE not in some kind of witness protection program? Or are Amish? Or in the CIA? Huh? How 'bout it? What's the deal?
from bonkrood :
You Took My Picture Lady was probably mad because she looks like a man. Just a guess.
from hissandtell :
Don't Bonk! Ha! As if! That kind of reminds me of all the raised-up-traffic-thingies on the roads where I went to Uni, that said "Hump Slow". They never failed to make me chuckle like a 12 year old boy with his hand in his pants. And good knives, darling? Well, yum! Love, R xxx
from nicim :
what a wonderful trip you're taking us all on. I want the Don't Bonk sign for my very own!!
from onewetleg :
i always love a good photo essay. thanks!
from dinahsoar :
God, I LOVED your montage! It is such a cheap way for me to travel (pretty safe, too). To show how masochistic I must be, I swear I started salivating at the picture of the sub shop. Go figure! And, being here in L.A., I would gladly trade traffic jams (we tend to shoot one another car to car also - that could never happen in Iowa). My main question, though, is about Kelly's hair. Just what exact color is it? In the first picture, she appeared brunette. In subsequent pics, she went from a pinky-pale magenta (kinda like that cool bedset) to burnt ochre. What color does that hair mascara say? I think that'll be the only way to pin it down (and it's important to me that I have all the details down on my virtual vacation).
from acaldwell :
i love the pics!!! i thought the help wanted sign was a no trespassing sign! hahhaaa~~
from thundermtncg :
Because we all have unlimited time on the computer...I end up reading your entries backwards, out of order... whatever you want to call it. But I had to let you know that your entry for 'Why I am still single' is definitely one of my favorites. I swear...what is it with guys? When does it become okay to bring up such subjects or fart or belch in front of someone they are trying to impress??? Which is why we are all still single. And your entry about the profiles on the match site...another nail hit on the head. Of the nail. Or hammer... whatever. My experience with that sort of dating has led me to nick-name my dates really awesome titles, such as... 'Could you get that?'(otherwise known as,'Pumber Crack Exposed') or'The Coupon King', (this is the guy that had a buy one get one free coupon for everywhere we went that date. To include Baskin Robbins.He felt it necessary to pay the way since he asked ME out.) But at least he wasn't boinking horses. Which is a good thing, because I have horses and none of them would appreciate me bringing that sort of guy home to meet them. God forbid. Anyway, thanks for the laughter and the validation that you always bring to my mundane existence. And tell that little genius, Teeny, hi for me. Glad Spike is way over the ringworm crap. By the way...I used to have a CORONA. They were the Corolla wannabees...
from chaosdaily :
the crack of dawn... 7:30.... hahahhahahhahahahhaha
from acaldwell :
the nuke & puke sub shop with fly appitisers left me rolling!! LMAO!!!this is why i will never eat at subway sub shops. they nuke and puke too! no wonder why jared lost all that weight!! hehehehee!!!! my coffeepot, if i dont wash it out every time, it will overflow!!
from artgnome :
heh...I would definately have loved to see my first car go out that way, and on video tape to boot! thanks for the encouragement, friends are stepping in, things are on the mend.
from dinahsoar :
I made the mistake of reading today's entry over lunch. A "Capri" sandwich (huge honkin' mozzarella with basil, tomatoes & onions) & Caesar salad. Somehow my actually good lunch could not overcome the visceral mental images. You are a very evocative writer. Thanks & ewww!
from autumnleigh :
Yuck! Sounds like the barbecued turkey sandwich I was served (but did not eat) on a flight. Of course, Continental is in the transportation, not food services, business, so it's not completely unforgivable. There's no excuse for that sandwich shop.
from crazy4muffin :
I have ruined too many "travel coffee mugs" to count by not washing them out immediately after use. You don't know gross until you tilt that coffee skim that is mold and green dangerously close to your mouth. So horrific in fact, that washing the travel mug was a useless waste of time. You don't smoke so I have you beat on this one- forgeting you put a cigarette out in the travel mug and realizing it only after the butt is in your mouth. I say all this like I'm proud or something. Good lord.
from dinahsoar :
That guy with the dead cat head has kind of a small dinghy, don'tcha think?
from sweetresent :
What the hell was up with the Knaughty Knight?.. I'm still laughing. Geez.
from chaosdaily :
maybe hes worried cause the top of his head is gone...
from madamepierce :
ahahaha!
from acaldwell :
well, shelp no. 1 looks like a cross between eddie albert and a lil hugh hefner thrown in, and shelp no. 2 looks like a young sylvester stallone! for more fun and antics, try the nyc craigslist personals!! oh the laffs you will get from that!!! http://newyork.craigslist.org/
from artgnome :
OMGollygosh, internet personal ads give you a glaring scary look at what's out there, and has made me give up dating for good.
from poolagirl :
Eddie Albert! God! You're right! Didn't he just die, though? Dang!
from crazy4muffin :
I have never felt like more of a razing moron than standing at the auto parts counter. Me: PHd in jurisprudence. Clerk: 6th grade home schooling education. One guess on who wins this debate. However, here is a brilliant idea: they should lease out a space next to Auto Zone where you can work on your car. Then when you realize you have the wrong crap all you have to do is step inside and get it. Why am I not in corporate making a million?
from artgnome :
cars are sooooo from HELL! I've been put through that too. I now find a good mechanic and garage and pay for it all to be done RIGHT.
from breathtaken1 :
I gotta love Teeny. A cat who speaks english, and does what you say! WOW. I don't know which is more remarkable.
from hissandtell :
Who bonks horses? Well, Catherine the Great did (at least apocryphally). The gossip was that she was trampled to death under her favourite stallion when the harness broke, wasn't it? And I don't know what they could say at the man's funeral, really. I'd be inclined to write a eulogy (or eugoogly, as Zoolander would call it) around the theme of 8 Seconds, though... Love, R xxx
from heidiann :
Hmmmm...first entry I read and I choke with laughter. I say that's a good sign!
from crazy4muffin :
At least if you are behind this guy at heaven's gate- regardless of your situation, how you could not look great and slide right in. St Peter: "says here you killed man"? "Yes. But I never f'd a horse to death". St.Perer: Good point. Welcome. Watch your step.
from acaldwell :
well, in mexico, they have donkey shows, but thats rated OMYGAWD!! when i was in the navy, i seen a donkey show. but i never seen a horse show! was he the pitcher, or the catcher! owwwwwwww! heheheeee!!!
from katiedoyle :
i emailed you my email. :) a few horse thoughts. a) gross. b) moron. c) lol on the domain name. :) kd
from katiedoyle :
nope, didn't get the email. resend to my yahoo? kd
from mousemilk :
Pooches! I wouldn't want to be next on that bus, mind you.
from dinahsoar :
Hi there, You Are My Sunshine! Thanks for offering to post my 512 pics! How do I get them to you (I tell you, I am VERY low tech)? I'm taking them to the 1-hour tomorrow, but I'm hoping to narrow them down to, say, two. I caught up on your very entertaining entries. Loved Spikey with the G & R CD (you know, they're in my profile). The dog camp was great, too. Don't know if I can compete with my nuanced light on Diamond Head, ya know?
from hissandtell :
My guess is Supa-glue. Love, R xxx
from liviasgarden :
I'm amazed, my dog would Never sit that still unless heavily sedated. P.S. I loved those sparkly watches. I think I'm part raccoon ;)
from poolagirl :
GAAAAAAAAAAAA! The Atlanta airport! GAAAA! I was there in May, but I found the train. It's the schnitz without that train.
from artgnome :
hmmm, trade show? you will have to email me, as I am an artist looking into how to sell my art on merchandise and becoming a brand name. talkies soon, I hope! I'm glad your trip was fun. I need another airport experience, and soon. I'm a traveling fool, I tell ya!
from acaldwell :
i gotta real kick of that map of the walking u done! heheheeee!
from bluemeany :
Hey! Thanks for adding me. That dog is fricking awesome ... I wish we could be that smart in America.
from acaldwell :
where do i sign up to be a minimalist??? is there an entry fee?? the dog is funny!!! hava nice trip!!
from katiedoyle :
oh, me, me; i want to be a minimalist, too. <sigh> kd
from jehsika :
Spike is very handsome.
from nicim :
yes dear - why do you think I began lusting for those glasses to begin with? And should you be wanting them (they come in 6 gorgeous luscious colors and two sizes) I know JUST where to buy them. And accept Paypal!!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Sun! Just wanted to let you know (in case you're busy putting stuff on Teeny & don't get to read my entry today) that I'll be in Hawaii for a week & won't be posting again until Friday, 7/22. So, be sure you don't put anything too heavy - like Mizrahi for Target's blender - and I'll write you on my return.
from acaldwell :
the cat pics are great! i wonder what the cat is thinking, as the humans stuff is laying all over him? and the cat has an "o well" attitude too!!
from artgnome :
ohhhhhh, free sushi. Even I would waitress for free sushi. And I HATE restaurant work. Absolutely abhor it. I would also rather die than be an accountant.
from mousemilk :
I don't know why, but I find the sea salt picture particularly disturbing. Perhaps it's the one most suggestive of 'hot water bottle cover'.
from katiedoyle :
the sea salt picture is the best; really cracks me up. :) kd
from dinahsoar :
Teeny would be stunning in anything ... but are they Mizrahi for Target?
from autumnleigh :
Too damn funny! Must do likewise...
from acaldwell :
teeny is so cool!!! chaosdaily told me about ya, and causse this was soooo good, im gonna put ya on my 'A' list!!!! meowwww!!
from hissandtell :
This is superb, you are brilliant and your pusscat is astonishingly obliging. I've never adorned my pets with household objects for bizarre photographic purposes (oh, who am I kidding?) but I used to wait until my father was asleep on the sofa and then arrange fruit, office supplies and miscellaneous items such as coins on him and take photographs. It was a bit like that pickupsticks game, only in reverse - to see how much I could pile on before he woke up and yelled at me. Love, R xxx
from liviasgarden :
I love Teeny with the sunglasses. He looks so laid back and cool. I have to try this now lol
from katiedoyle :
that is one seriously ugly bundt cake... i don't mind firecrackers that much, but in france for bastille day in 2003, people were tossing them into the crowd and stuff, and that was exceedingly nerve-wracking and put me in a really foul mood. if i'da found the tossers, i'd have beaten them silly. so, what's the deal with the suppliers, oh wizened one? will you email me? i am always on a neverending quest to get my costs down and have found that a lot of people don't like to tell you where they get their stuff because they view you as competition, and most of the "wholesalers" who actually advertise are not wholesale at all. it's a vicious, vicious cycle, and i so very much dislike learning as i go. :( thanks, kd
from dinahsoar :
I love your writing! Thanks for making me laugh!
from nicim :
I really really need Pina Colada sparkly soap. Can I hold a fundraiser? Sing a song? Write a poem? Maybe get hissandtell to auction off sassy pictures?
from hissandtell :
I wonder what the F is short for in Mr Poultry F Seizures' name? I'm intuiting Foghorn-Leghorn, but I guess with your luck it could just as easily be Firecrackers. Anyway, I hope you two crazy kids are tres happy together, spasming and igniting away. I do hope for your sake he doesn't turn out to be a capon, though, no matter how tasty he might be... Love, R xxx
from jessidb :
I think that your diary template is very pretty. I think that you did a very good job with the decor. Come by and read my diary sometime. It's not that pretty, but it may keep your intrest. Thanks.
from dinahsoar :
Location. Location. Location. It's everything!
from dinahsoar :
I got a beautiful email from Evelyn. Thanks for the opportunity to be inspired by her.
from accentjunkie :
OMG. I need Pina Colada soap with sparkles in it. What a fiendishly clever thing. I too am queen of the partially finished craft. Or the "purchased all necessary items for, but yet to have started" craft. We should just get together and craft. Or sell all of our unused craft stuff and become MULTI MILLIONAIRES.
from dinahsoar :
Thanks for posting that letter. I emailed her. I found it sad, but also courageous & inspiring. It is refreshing to hear a genuine Christian admitting that they genuinely struggle with the issues that affect us all. She demonstrated faith, yes, but does not supply pat answers to deep life problems. It is great to hear a Christian show their process in looking at challenges, rather than simply answering "How are you?" with an automatic, knee-jerk "Blessed! Praise God!". David, a man after God's own heart, revealled his struggles. Elijah got discouraged. Jesus wept. Her letter was brave & articulate & her faith shone through.
from breakangel :
I gave my horse a butt-bath this week, too. Not a pleasant thing, but at least horses stand still for it. You have my sympathies with Spike- my cat wouldn't let me near him with water if I came bearing a thousand pounds of tuna fish. He'd be like, "nuh-uh, dun think so!" and I'd be like, "come ON Cloud, it's just water," and then he'd turn psycho and scratch my eyeballs out and I would sob pitifully and it would probably turn out to be the worst day of my life. Anyway, I'm glad you came out from your cat's butt-bath unscathed. I'd hate to miss out on the sunshine goodness.
from dinahsoar :
In the words of John Denver "Sunshine nearly all the time makes me smile". Today's entry was no exception. You are anything but boring. You have that clever turn of phrase that renders anything interesting, from the most mundane (Teeny & the Charmin) to the most dramatic (the tornado). Hope your neck feels better - try sleeping without a pillow or with one of those 'neck rolls' (no, that's not something you order from the Caribbean restaurant).
from biodtl :
girl, I'm boring, too. I was going to update today, but all I had to talk about was shampooing the rugs. Not nearly as interesting as butt-baths!
from artgnome :
It makes me wonder how different the dollar stores across the country are. Now I want to see one when I get to NYC this weekend!
from yeahimadork :
Sweet Lord. Thank god I am not the only one who gets grand ideas of craftiness and then never finishes them. I have a ginormous blanket that I started, along with the eleventy billion feet of yarn I bought to make it with. I *also* have candle wax, votive molds, and wicks from my candles-made-easy phase (candles-made-messy is more like it). I briefly, and quite dilusionally (did I just make that word up?) I might add, thought that I could make jewelry. I am not even going to go into how I got brought into the Barbie collectibles cult. It's disgusting really. By the way, I love the pink layout. Since I am obsessed with all things pink at the moment, I am terribly jealous. ;)
from biodtl :
OMG, you sound like me. I have a zillion unfinished projects, like cross stitches, baby blankets, body stuff, and Oh God, the beads. I actually made a bracelet recently, and decided it's really pretty, except on me, so I haven't worn it. At least you DO sell the jewelry - it's not a total loss.
from katiedoyle :
doh! i keep forgetting you live in *iowa*. no chipotle for you. :( but you could contact the company and tell that that while you admire their presence in the midwest, nebraska is too far a drive to make and could they please put on in des moines. or sioux city. or, you know, somewhere. ;) kd
from katiedoyle :
Chipotle is yummy. You should see if there's one in your area. It's Mexican fast food with all these fresh ingredients. It's a good company, too. http://www.chipotle.com/
from nicim :
Ebay ratings for men. While tattoos across their foreheads in blinking red lights might cause a bit too much attention, they can certainly be issued an ID. And all we have to do look up the ID on a web site - and read their feedback!! Oh My God. You've hit upon the perfect solution. The heck with the soap....start the SITE! You'll make a fortune.
from katiedoyle :
Hurray, I am a dillettante! I so need to live where you live and open up a store with you, making all the fun stuff we both like to make and then teaching other people to make them, because it's crack, man, and we have to share our love of crack and addict others, as well. :) kd
from crazy4muffin :
I still have the craft pillows I purchased six years ago in my closet. The other day I came across the blue velvet fabric intended to cover said pillows. Next I am hoping to come across some cheap Asian labor to construct them for me, cuz that's the only way they are getting put together. God forbid I discard these $3 pillows to make room for anything.
from autumnleigh :
I can totally relate. For years, I have referred to my home as The House of Unfinished Projects. Last year, I added jewelry making and card making to the list.
from nicim :
You're not alone. I repeat - you're not alone...I also LOVED "Sliding Doors" and can never find anyone else who saw it.
from artgnome :
ooooooo, make me some vanilla lip balm please, as vanilla is my signature 'scent'. I will also take some red candles and an afghan!
from nicim :
the minute, no the very second that pina colada soap is done - send me an order form. And I think you're just the person to rescue all my preciousssss beads from all those not quite done projects before I get too terribly attached to them (oops, too late). Don't give up - late 1999 saw the finish to a petit point backgammon board I started in 1976. Take that to all those who said I wouldn't do it. Now, to actually frame it for use.......
from crazy4muffin :
I feel I might have you beat on bad "lawn art". Often have the visual privilege and delight of takingg in some "tire art". Nothing screams "patriot" quite like an old Michelin with a flag stuck in it.
from crazy4muffin :
Oh crap I've been busted. My first Class C felony- I'm kind of all tingly being such a bad girl. Today copyright infringement; tomorrow bank robbery. Seriously, didn't see on your link. But figures we would both dig the same thing.
from chaosdaily :
theres an over-ornamented yard in milwaukee.... it changes with the seasons, but you could look at it for hours and still not see everything
from mnlady1962 :
Does an old toilet planted with flowers set in the front yard count? I have seen this in my town. Pretty sad.
from dinahsoar :
Return that soul NOW! Didn't you ever see that Brady Bunch where Greg & Bobbie & whatever that other kid's name was found that arrow head in Hawaii and when they took it home, it brought them nothing but bad luck. Can you say TORNADO??????
from artgnome :
I have, for one being of a high italian population city, experienced more than one bathtub grotto. They are an art experience to behold, for sure!
from katiedoyle :
thanks for the nice words. :) i made those earrings for auntie em (who comments in my blog) for a birthday present; luckily, she likes them, too. ;) i find it hard to make jewelry under stress, as well, which sucks when you have deadlines to meet or need to get images of your new stuff taken, edited, and up. ::sigh:: at any rate, you are now pimped. booya. :) kd
from katiedoyle :
well, i'm about to go pimp you in my blog. what site carries your stuff? i love that carnelian bracelet, the 3 strand necklace, and the one with the swirly pendant. I made some swirly pendants a while back and haven't used them because i thought i needed to polish them first, but recently someone told me no, she likes them unpolished, so i'll probably start using them. :) kd
from idiomatic :
ah ha ha hahahahahahah! that is awesome. i grew up in - what do they call it, tornado alley or tornado valley or whatever? anyway, the thing i miss most about the midwest (i live in nyc) is the "wrath of god"-type thunderstorms. god i miss them so much. when the air would get all yellow and still. then... watch out! and the tornado drills - sit in the hallway with your head down! as if that would help!
from themarassa :
EEK! Glad you're okay!
from dinahsoar :
Oh. My. God. Tornados are outrageous! I live in earthquake territory, but at least you know within a minute if you survived. I can't even imagine! Not to trivialize, but your story was hysterical - all of it, but especially the part about the not so savvy with the transition newscaster. I'm so glad you're all okay, but I AM concerned about possible PTSD symptoms in Teeny, given his premorbid functioning as evidenced by the collage. Please let me know if you would like a consultation.
from poolagirl :
YIPES! I was in a tornado in NW Iowa in 1963. It roared through the backyard and did some nasty stuff. Lots of damage and only on minor injury. Everybody thought it was the 7:05 Illinois Central train coming through, so nobody got excited.
from katiedoyle :
again i will whine about the lack of a notes link, because i am LAZY, young lady! damn it, we can't have nice things. or, something. um...now i forgot why i am noting you. let's see...i left a comment in your guestbook, and then i was going to note you something...damn it, what was that about? action figures...no...OH YEAH! disaster movies! i saw "the day after tomorrow" yesterday and thought of you. cheesy, bad, overdone...you must see it. :) kd
from ann-frank :
umm, WOW. Look at all that TP. Somewhere in a 3rd world tp-less country a man weeps! ha!
from katiedoyle :
girl, you need a link to your notes in your template somewhere! i have my own dotcom sellin' my jewelry, actually. i do a lot of custom stuff. there are 2 links to it in the right column of my diary, yo. do you sell yours? kd
from catspajamas :
thanks for the offer but ivee already ggot 2 cats of my own. useless motherfuckers, no matter how cute they are.
from dinahsoar :
I think you can quite possibly avert Teeny's stint in bad cat boot camp by staging an intervention addressing her "Charmin" issues (I mean tissues).
from katiedoyle :
your new friend is having a laugh on you. that or *maybe* she lives in another country, because there is no model of mac/apple actually called a chihuahua. unless that's a slang term for it in some circles. i think the guy was high. or maybe the aussie givin' you some love is truthful about that being a size term, but i kinda don't think so! kd
from hissandtell :
Crikey, mate. Looks like someone ripped apart a few dozen albino chihuahuas in there. And to follow on from dinahsoar's note, I think you should donate the shredded toilet paper to your local kindergarten so the children can use it to stuff the plush toys they make in sewing class. They'll thank you for it (hey, trust me; I'm a former early childhood educator). Love, R xxx
from dinahsoar :
I'm sorry to keep correcting you (especially since I'm your new friend), but (duh!) you apparently failed to recognize your kitty's obvious talent for origami. In these days of cultural awareness, I am (I must say) surprised and saddened by this oversight on your part. The second photo (and remember, I am a therapist) clearly displays your kitty's underlying issues as expressed in the medium of collage. This is meant not so much to shame you as to raise your consciousness in these sensitive arenas. Thank you for receiving this in the spirit in which it was intended (education, rather than criticism).
from poolagirl :
GAAAAAAAAAAAA! I want more pictures of the toilet paper!
from dinahsoar :
I thought EVERYONE knew that the small Chihuahua is a new model put out by Mac computers. It's kind of a laptop, but not so much. And happy belated birthday (p.s. did you ever consider that maybe it was Bo's birthday & the Birthday Curse Gods were targeting him, not you?)
from artgnome :
ah, and the urge to collect cats, and carry things around in shopping bags, and knock people over to get on the bus....hah!
from hissandtell :
What's your problem, sheila? A chihuahua is a standard unit of measurement in Oz for all manner of things. "How many chihuahuas does that bucket hold, Bruce?" "Does that dongle fit a chihuahua, Davo, or is it more your dingo size?" "Hey Johnno, I'm a few chihuahuas short of a load - you can't top me up, can you?" Geez, I dunno. Bloody Americans with your inches and pounds. Love, R xxx
from dinahsoar :
P.S. That wasn't SciFi Network you were watching. It was CNN. California really DID split in two (I live on the part that carries Karma Soap).
from dinahsoar :
Stumbled upon your diary through "tattoobelly" (any friend of the belly's ...). Loved your writing and the photo's, too. The Cat Lady action figure was too true to be funny! And, whatever are your plans for that hapless Amish dude's soul?
from catspajamas :
thanks for reading. :)
from xnavygrrl :
My pal, keep the password handy. It's only for a week that i gotta keep everyone locked out. I'm on a mission. They messed with the wrong female!
from hissandtell :
Actually, leave out the LAST question mark, darling - that one was mine. x
from xnavygrrl :
http://www.lush.com/cgi-bin/lushdb/search.html?id=LuVN99jK Cut and paste that into your browser!
from hissandtell :
Ooooh, but those glasses are exquisite. I MUST HAVE THEM! (And you can stand them along your windowsill in the sunlight, and poke peonies in them when you're not drinking from them.) Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
I got so bloody tired of having to find clothes to wear to work, so I quit. Now I can be naked all day long if I want; I recommend this for your consideration. Love, R xxx
from catspajamas :
sorry about that! id offer to make you a batch of my brilliant new spicd french toast,nly i have no idea where you are. :)
from catspajamas :
thanks for the add! :)
from liviasgarden :
Hi there! Thanks for the add. I added you back. You love cats too. That's enough for me. *Cat*
from artgnome :
well, we'll have to share a pint then, while we're waiting for ever after to arrive then!
from themoodswing :
Hi there. I just read your A-Z and love the bit about your 3 cats. I aspire to be a crazy cat lady one day :)
from hissandtell :
Testicle banner! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
from hissandtell :
Ummm, is leaving five notes in a row a tad stalkery? I know where you live...
from hissandtell :
Oooh! I just clicked on another of your banners, you sneaky vixen! If it's at all possible to improve on perfection, I feel so much thinner and more popular already! Thanks! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oh! What I really came here for was to tell you that I clicked on your secrets banner and loved it! xxx
from hissandtell :
The wholpin, I rather suspect, would be extremely blubbery and not taste terribly good at all, no matter how big its steaks were. Better stick to tuna, darling. (I bet they'd market wholpins with a flattering enhanced drawing rather than a picture - eeewwww!) xxx
from hissandtell :
Somehow I missed the Teeny Testicles entry (for which I hate myself, of course). Did they not give them to you in a jar so he could play with them while he was recovering? The gentle constant reminder might have stopped him from climbing the walls. Love, R xxx
from poolagirl :
I've stumbled across two of your banners in the last two minutes. Really funny!
from poolagirl :
You are just too darn funny! Fairfield, huh? Are you a meditator?
from artgnome :
hey girl, thanks for the note. Please note too that I now have comments on my diary page - where it says "talk to the artgnome". woo! Would you believe I'm still screwing around here and not on the treadmill yet...but my sportsbra is on, so I'm almost there!
from hissandtell :
Teaching Year One students how to write used to provide its share of hilarity, too. One gorgeous (though not the sharpest knife in the drawer) little girl used to consistently write in her journal, "I cunt do it." Another boy used to write - every day - "It is god I lick it." One memorable day he wrote, "Today I have been god". Talk about delusions of grandeur! Still, at least he didn't go on and on about his stiffy, I suppose. Love, R xxx
from biodtl :
Hi! Thanks for adding me to your favorites. I have started reading your entries and you crack me up! And I loved Sliding Doors, too.
from hissandtell :
Hold the bus - would that be a "before" or "after" picture of the ill-gotten cookies? Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
You're evil, conniving and duplicitous. I like that in a woman. Love, R, xxx
from breathtaken1 :
Thank you so much for adding me to your favorites!! I am adding you to mine, since your favorite things sound great to me too! And I am person #2 to have seen Sliding Doors. Great concept, I often think back on it. Welcome!
from hissandtell :
Well, congratulations! That was a hilarious entry. But how did you find out? I believe I was nominated by a couple of people, but I've heard absolutely nothing from diarist.net. Oh, and can I be the less-attractive less-rich less-famous Nicole to your Paris, and follow you around basking in your limelight, please? I promise to carry your small dog in my handbag, accidentally fall out of my clothes in public and be captured on film having sex with lots of handsome young boys, if that's what it takes. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Or, instead of filling a bottle with Lourdes water, maybe you could bring in Father Merrin (or another exorcist if he's unavailable) to pee on Teeny? Just remember to hide the catnip before he arrives. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
You know, one of my greatest fears is turning into one of those never-throw-anything-away crazy people. I'd have jars full of bread bags and twistie-ties and toenail cuttings and hairballs from my hairbrush, alongside all the other crap. And then the current affairs cameras will come in and do a horrific story on it, and I'll be cowering in the corner with my hands stuffed into tissue boxes, spitting at reporters when they venture too close. And then, of course, I'd have to gather up my spit and put it in jars alongside the toenails cuttings. So I guess the moral of the story is "you be careful". Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Well, three big smooches to you: one for the New Year, one for being such an entertaining and amusing writer (with excellent typing and proof reading capabilities, no less) and one for being so gracious and kind about me. Love your work! R xxx
from hissandtell :
But ... Pontiac is also a variety of potato. So if you say "Pontiac Vibe", people will assume that you're referring to some primitive hand-hewn Irish sex aid wrought from edible tubers, that you can have fun with first and then make into a tasty stew. At least, that's what I'd think. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Shit oh goodness. With an 8-inch board? Twice? In TWO boxes? Dear me.
from hissandtell :
Yay! Cat photos! How gorgeous (not the ringworm bit, obviously). Love, R xxx
from iamcobain :
sliding doors? only one? i think not! that film was awesome! love the diary. keep it up;p.p;/p;/p;/pl;./p;/0p;.p;/ sorry. just wiping my keyboard. i got orange juice on it. thanks iamcobain http://iamcobain.diaryland.com
from hissandtell :
So glad you're back; I was beginning to despair we'd never hear from you again. Love, R xxx
from cdghost :
stumbled across your words and enjoyed them very much.. have a good one and two..the cdghost
from bigpimpinmba :
Add my wife and I to your list of people who have seen Sliding Doors. We liked it so much, we actually saw it in the movies twice and own the tape. Thanks for adding me to your faves. I read through a few of your entries and definitely liked what I saw.
from hissandtell :
Well, thank heavens for Photoshop and digitally created re-enactments is all I can say! Well, except that that's quite possibly the hugest chipmunk ever. Not to mention cat. That is all.
from the-book-bag :
Hi! I just wanted to say thank you for adding me to your favorites list. :-D -cat
from hissandtell :
Hi - I'm back - reading your older entries and wheezing myself ill with laughter. I have so many things I want to comment on, but I'll start by saying how much I LOVE Graham Norton too. And now back to more reading. And Ventolin.
from hissandtell :
Thank you - I'm flattered beyond belief to have made your list! You are a hysterical writer and I can't wait to read even more of your older entries. Love, R xxx
from dangerspouse :
Hey Sunshine, thanks for adding me to your Fave List! I hope you get your computer woes straightened out - I'm really enjoying your stuff. Take care!
from saladwhore :
Hi, and thanks for adding me. :) I read your eBay entry and it cracked me up! I eBay (too much) too. The stuff you hate to see in someone's listing is what made me spit juice all over my monitor.... ahhhhhh!
from poolagirl :
Thanks for making me a fave! I look foward to reading your stuff! WAHOOOOO!
from awittykitty :
You know what Google word gets you biggest hits? Selma Hayek. It's a winner! Thanks for adding me as a favorite :-)
from bettyalready :
thanks for joining coffee-whore!
from stormy9091 :
This is Cindy Lou Who. I just had to comment on your latest diary entry, as I also own the Wild Women in the Kitchen book. As a matter of fact, one of the authors - Lynette (I can't remember her name on the book) - is married to a friend of Spit Take's. They lived here in Chicago for a few short months while awaiting the birth of their child, and during that time the four of us went on a picnic to the lake. Lynette had made - MADE - the sandwich rolls and the barbecue beef and put together - at the beach - a fabulous salad thing that had me in heaven. Not to mention the chocolate cake for dessert! Anyway, Lynette showed me that book while we were packing up for the picnic, and I loved the matching recipes and biographies. It is a great gift, and I'm happy to hear that they carry the book at the local B&N (I ordered mine through Amazon.com). Cindy

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