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messages to teranika:
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from artgnome :
I have finally unlocked my diary. If my ex wants to read my business, let him.
from elgan :
Oh man, you just brought back memories of Little Princess at that age playing with one of her friends from whom she always returned with potty mouth. I had to deprogram her every time she came home. The funny thing is, we raise them (or at least try to) so that they don't have foul vocabularies, and then when they hit a certain age, we put the expletives back in our speech so they think we're still cool. Or is that just me?
from elgan :
You're cold and we're roasting.
from elgan :
Hubby said they're wearing winter coats in Victoria. Maybe your mom needs to relocate, so she can be closer to her daughter and grand-daughter. No?
from blighty :
yay. I still look in occasionally, where is your other diary? So glad it is over now, and that you were supported by your department. xx
from harri3tspy :
Is this the tenure year for you? Good luck! (Sorry I'm a little late to this party; I keep forgetting to check diaryland, since there aren't too many I read over here anymore).
from elgan :
I had a very similar experience to yours with a voice student many years ago. Admittedly, it was on a totally different level of academia, but I still had to defend myself from what I felt were unjust and unwarranted accusations against my teaching methods. This person, however, had not waited until s/he failed, but complained before marks were even in. In fact, s/he was going to get a reasonable mark. I don’t understand what happened there. However, the biggest mistake I made then, and still continue to make to some degree, is thinking that your students are your friends. Most of the time this will actually help you in your interaction with them, but on the rare occasion it comes back to bite you in the ass. Anyway, I’m glad your travails are over and good luck with the tenure application.
from elgan :
I had a very similar experience to yours with a voice student many years ago. Admittedly, it was on a totally different level of academia, but I still had to defend myself from what I felt were unjust and unwarranted accusations against my teaching methods. This person, however, had not waited until s/he failed, but complained before marks were even in. In fact, s/he was going to get a reasonable mark. I don’t understand what happened there. However, the biggest mistake I made then, and still continue to make to some degree, is thinking that your students are your friends. Most of the time this will actually help you in your interaction with them, but on the rare occasion it comes back to bite you in the ass. Anyway, I’m glad your travails are over and good luck with the tenure application.
from harri3tspy :
I'm catching up here after falling off of the diaryland planet for a while. I'll be sending good thoughts toward your sister-in-law. And I loved your post about your feelings of academic inadequacy. Yes. Just, yes. You are definitely not alone.
from artgnome :
saying prayers for your sis. I hope all goes well. kisses for susie too!
from elgan :
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister-in-law. I hope there's something that can be done for her.
from ladyloo :
Been thinking about you, teranika. Glad to hear you're carrying on, and always appreciate Susi stories.
from readersguide :
Ugh. I don't know what is to be done about this, but it seems a miracle to me that you made it through to where it's no longer crushing -- because I think it would be crushing to a person who didn't know better. Bah.
from artgnome :
I am thankful for everyday that I can now work from home and only have minimal bullshit from people who see sex, color, religion and academic status before they see the actual person. Hugs of solidarity for you sister, do not let them freeze you out! xo
from elgan :
This is a sticky wicket. There are other things at work here as well, that I can relate to, and they are so maddeningly superficial that sometimes I want to scream at people just to get them to look at me and listen to me, but then that would just exacerbate the problem because I would be acting like a fishwife (married to a fish, as I am). The problem for you and me is that we are not only female, but short and cute. We do not look our ages (although my gray hair will soon take care of that) and thus we are not taken seriously. I'm reminded of Sandy Dennis in Up The Down Staircase on her first day of school. I hope Little Princess doesn't have to face these same challenges, but I know she will.
from hungryghost :
Thanks for your kind words. I'm always inspired by (and in awe of) people who make it through. I want to join your ranks so very badly!
from artgnome :
Man, there is nothing worse than a useless person that wastes everyone's time to get attention. And one always manages to get into one's life, here and there, from time to time. Susi is as adorable as ever! You both must enjoy her so much!
from blighty :
OK, I am very glad that the swamp will be gone, and the big-ass cedars. Maybe you could swipe some cedar chips for the big-ass cedar closet... And since i am long gone from house buying in North America, I have to ask - what is a 2-5-10 warranty? When we bought our first house, we were told that the policy in England is "buyer beware." Most reassuring.xx
from harri3tspy :
My condolences on the swampy yard. We know all about THAT. I'm finally giving up on part of it and will be planting it with cattails and marsh grasses. If you can't beat them, join them.
from coldandgray :
So sorry about your friend. Sending good thoughts.
from elgan :
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Your well wishes mean more to his wife than you know. Love is the greatest force in the universe (after gravity, of course).
from coldandgray :
I have been thinking about you & the Olympics. Glad you braved the cold so Suzi can tell her grandkids someday that she saw the torch horse.
from coldandgray :
Yay for home ownership!
from artgnome :
what an amazing thing for you now, to have a house. what are the differences? how are you liking it?
from artgnome :
wow. crazy stuff! what an adventure! I hope you have a great one :)
from coldandgray :
How Lovely, especially the last bit with your amazing girl! That is a special memory of your dad trying so hard to make santa real for you. Hold on to that one when the more difficult ones of him start to surface. Happy 2010!
from elgan :
Great retrospective for the past 35 years. I don't know if I could remember what happened when. I should try it. It might be a good exercise.
from artgnome :
hard to believe that someone can get to thesis level with such poor writing skills. Our college has learning centers and tutors for such problems, our professors do not have to deal with that, they just refer us to the center.
from coldandgray :
So glad Herr Whiteside finally left; that would drive me clear up the wall. Happy Holidays!
from harri3tspy :
I'm watching The Man Who Came to Dinner and thinking of your former houseguest!
from artgnome :
I have a hard time feeling sorry for someone who trips off to another town, state or country without any kind of plan, finances, or direction, then expects others to pick up the slack for his being a poor planner. I also feel that playing dumb is a classic way to avoid being confronted on issues, and some people are very adept at playing that card. I find that when I choose to help people, having clearly understood boundaries and time deadlines are helpful.
from artgnome :
I think you are being taken advantage of by a complete asshat. I would direct him to the nearest homeless shelter and send him on his way. Beggars cannot be choosers, and Captain Dipshit apparently needs a 101 course in this concept.
from elgan :
I know this play because my son was the butler when his high school put it on with the local dramatic society. It's a delightful play. Good luck getting rid of your own Sheridan.
from harri3tspy :
I've never seen the 1970s version, but I the 1940s version is one of my favorite movies of all time -- I try to watch it every Christmas.
from artgnome :
I have to say as someone still living on poverty level, I'm never able to buy organic or eco-friendly because the price is usually doubled and out of our budget. I recycle as much as I can as well. I just wish they would make it easier to purchase eco-friendly instead of making it harder.
from harri3tspy :
I think Solva has been taking etiquette lessons from your former landlady. How bizarre.
from blighty :
I have been thinking a lot about you with the coverage of Copenhagen. It is astonishing that there are still people who wish to believe that the science is wrong.
from saudades :
A very important concern, though so disheartening for all who wish for sense and responsibility, that even before going in it's expected by all members that no significant achievements will be made this year.... !?
from saudades :
Dentist today only had fifteen minutes, and that's because of the sorry state of a former molar. I may be wrong, as I tend to be, but my view is that the important work tends to get done by hygienists, the nurses, etc. :) You're lucky!
from saudades :
Thanks for your words about Sweden; I look forward to visiting it if possible. I just read your most recent entries. I'm glad you feel better. In a positive light, I think he or she will possibly get over it later, completely, since you did the better thing and apologized already. It's almost impossible to forgive people immediately if one has just felt a sharp shock of that nature, but I bet your colleague will give you a new chance to demonstrate your kind self, especially if (s)he knew you before the incident. He knows there's more to you than that. Enjoy the weekend! :)
from elgan :
That warm, comforting blanket of community is what has kept me at D-land, even though so many people I first encountered here have left for "greener" pastures. (((hugs)))
from blighty :
oh honey that is a horrible story, but I know that you would never set out to be hurtful, and when this passes, they will know it too. But I know that hiding away feeling that won't go away. I am so sorry. Still you have done everything else right, but coming forward to apologize. In the end, your sweetness will win them all back.
from elgan :
I feel for you. What an awful gaffe! And yet you did what you could, apologized, tried to smooth it over. Your colleague will either get over it and come around to accepting your apology, or will not. I have a "friend" who has done this to me so many times (without the apology, mind you, because she is unaware that her remarks are hurtful) that I have simply stopped hanging out with her. I hope this is not the case for you.
from coldandgray :
I empathise what a terrible feeling it is to hurt someone accidentally. You didn't mean to say it, felt remorse & apologized, so nothing more you can do but get some cuddles from your girl.
from blighty :
November does make you think - straight from November 9 to the 11th, from the Berlin wall to Afghanistan. But um, which boyfriend?
from harri3tspy :
I loved this post. And I had a day kind of like that myself, in a humanities kind of way. I'm sorting primary sources into categories so that I can better check and analyze data. And there are days when I definitely like that kind of work too.
from harri3tspy :
I loved this post. And I had a day kind of like that myself, in a humanities kind of way. I'm sorting primary sources into categories so that I can better check and analyze data. And there are days when I definitely like that kind of work too.
from artgnome :
I think what you drafted is perfect and is what I would have suggested. You didn't actually 'accept' her apology but are thanking her for the attempt. works for me.
from coldandgray :
In this world, there will always be lint-givers and lint-takers.
from blighty :
I am hearing Janice's voice (from Friends) saying oh.my.gawwwd. I too would like to join the chorus of sane people out there, and would also like to add that maybe your deposit will be used for sessions with the psychiatrist specializing in bi-polar and obsessive-compulsive disorders. I am still not sure which is more extreme - the charging per hour for cleaning and painting or offering to charge you for the removal of your offending shelf unit. Imagine what Landlady will do when she finds the body encased in the drywall. waah haaaah.
from harri3tspy :
Oh my. GOOD RIDDANCE!
from coldandgray :
I third that notion: C-R-A-Z-Y-!-!-!
from readersguide :
Good lord! 1. I believe that woman is crazy, 2. and I believe that there's no way in hell you're getting any of your deposit back.
from ladyloo :
Oh. My. Freakin'. Gawd. That is terrible, teranika! That woman is crazy! I just..I'm speechless.
from harri3tspy :
Hee! I'm glad someone else is as amused by MONKEY HATE YOUR FACE! as I am. And it is totally the album for a band named Angry Raccoons! I have a long list of hypothetical band names myself. Maybe when I retire, I'll finally start a band.
from ladyloo :
Oh, thank goodness! What a relief! I'm so happy for you ALL in your new house.
from elgan :
Hurrah! Yay for Miss Mizzy and frabjous day for the rest of you.
from artgnome :
hah. I knew it! so glad you are all together again, and in your new home! many congrats and blessings on your house!
from sfdad :
Hooray for scrappy little Mizzy! We're really glad that you found her! NOW we can send you a real "congratulations on your new house"! And I don't normally end multiple sentences in one paragraph with exclamation points, but I think all of these are worthy!
from elgan :
I hope Mizzy finds her way home.
from saudades :
My cat did that too when we moved recently. It took her time to adjust, but she did find her way to where we were. I'm sorry, I hope you find her soon.
from artgnome :
she may be trying to get back to the old place, so keep an eye out on that route. Saying prayers for you and for Mizzy.
from harri3tspy :
Fingers still cross here!
from elgan :
They're all crooks. Whatcha gonna do?
from stepfordtart :
I crossed my fingers. I hope it helps! s x
from harri3tspy :
Good luck! Closings really are often like this. When we sold our last place, we handed over the deed and everything and then we were informed that the developer hadn't paid taxes on the entire building for a while so they were holding 100% of the money. We didn't get anything for a month and nearly missed our closing date on our next house (fortunately, we'd already arranged to rent back our space for a couple of more months). It was stressful beyond belief and it happened because of our incompetent attorney. But it all worked out in the end and so will yours. The good news is, you probably never have to talk to those people again.
from coldandgray :
I could not sleep either. Reading your lovely entry made me feel better about it. Seeing the space station must have been so cool!
from artgnome :
The house thing is going to be fine. It is time for it. And you and K are right on with it. :)
from elgan :
Ha ha ha! Great entry. I love eavesdropping.
from blighty :
Well that explains a lot. After 10 years of listening to the rubbish that Ben and Sam spit out on a regular basis, it's no wonder that I have lost most of my brain cells. Tell K that he is absolutely correct.
from elgan :
An au pair! I'm impressed. Enjoy!
from elgan :
Yes, there are warts, like the fact that it is next to impossible to get a family doctor anymore, or that you have to wait three months to see a specialist; but when you really need it, the care is there, and it's hassle-free. That in itself is worth our higher taxes, methinks. Thanks for your comment, by the way. You hit the nail right on the head when it comes to my mother-in-law and her gift giving ways.
from sfdad :
Go Canada health care! I admit that it has its share of issues, but I remember going in the opposite direction (leaving a place with no bills and going to a land that features a cascading whirlwind of paper for everyone) and being equally shocked. Maybe Canada just wanted to pull your leg to make sure that it had your attention! (I sure hope this Obamacare thing works without getting watered down to irrelevancy!)
from blighty :
As someone who has had three children in a county with socialized health care(one of whom is in his 10th year of specialist care), I can honestly say that it is a great thing. I know that there are horror stories, but overall, I love the NHS.
from coldandgray :
shheesh, now you are making me weepy!
from harri3tspy :
I STILL feel sad when I walk by our first place together (which I do, often, as it is in between the downtown train station and just about everything else). It was where we lived when we got married, where we had our post-wedding brunch, where AJ first lived. It's a special place. And I was devastated that the guy who bought it turned out to be an asshole. Fortunately he doesn't live there anymore. A bit of internet snooping reveals that two nice young, newly married hipster librarians live there now. And I couldn't be happier about that.
from coldandgray :
Susi's first home will always be a special memory tucked in your hearts. I grew up with a plum tree and there is NOTHING like Plum Jam. mmmm.
from coldandgray :
HUZZAH!!!! Huge congrats on your new home.
from harri3tspy :
Hooray! So exciting! I hope you'll post some pictures!
from ladyloo :
Oh my goodness!! How exciting! And terrifying. And exciting! But yeah, terrifying. Terrifyingly exciting!
from artgnome :
A house! How very exciting for you! It's been wonderful watching your little family taking shape and seeing you get into a better fitting place. :)
from sfdad :
Re: red circular welt. I assume you've checked into Lyme Disease, right? - Your friendly SF amateur Internet doctor :-)
from artgnome :
I often direct people to carm.org to answer questions about the bible, theology and apologetics. You may not agree with everything there, but may find some information interesting.
from artgnome :
this was your best entry yet! you are getting more fun to read all the time, nika! xo
from elgan :
Glad to hear Suzi is on the mend.
from coldandgray :
OH MY GOD! EEEK! We just used a crib rental in Oregon. Glad she is seeming better after all that washing, I hope that does the trick & fixes her poor broken stripe.
from harri3tspy :
Ugh! That sounds miserable. I hope you get to the bottom of this soon!
from elgan :
Thanks for your comment. I hope you get to the bottom of this bug problem quickly.
from artgnome :
I'm so sorry! there is not much worse than household pestilence. agh!
from harri3tspy :
AJ used to get big spots like that whenever it got hot -- different looking than the usual prickly heat, and apparently not irritating to him in the least, but traumatic for us to look at!
from blighty :
Hello, for those of us who know just how much "fun" you and your brother had pushing those green buttons, I am sure that the best residue is the expertise at Whack-a-Mole. Sadly, I have no such excuse for my brilliance at Ms Pac Man. Just a wasted youth...
from artgnome :
never be ashamed of your Whack A Mole skills! Your child is already benefiting from them, yes? I would have loved to see my mother have a skill beyond whining and self pity. You make Susi proud! hah! :)
from coldandgray :
Susi is doing so well. The speach part has been the most exciting development so far.
from harri3tspy :
I love the Susi lexicon! AJ called all animals by their sounds for a long time and I loved it. Actually, for quite a while, he called all four legged animals "woof-woof" before he began to discriminate further. As for correcting words, there were plenty of things we didn't correct because of cuteness. Although my favorite baby word was one of my niece's. She called flowers "shoushee" (the "ou" rhymed with "ow"), which always sounded like a perfect word for them to me.
from artgnome :
OH yeah, don't EVER let some youngling mess with your hair. It's bound to go badly.
from blighty :
Waa haa haa. Been there, done that. Got the picture with the shocking orange hair. I feel for you. Still, it's not boring brown is it?
from elgan :
Kumquat! And thanks for your note, by the way. I appreciate that you left it, and I will think about this product. But I don't really want something that will make sex easier. I just don't want to have sex anymore.
from elgan :
Thanks for your note. It meant a lot to me.
from sfdad :
we recently read about another take on the subject: date night + ikea = date night AT ikea (?!?). http://www.momlogic.com/2009/06/date_night_at_ikea.php
from coldandgray :
I am sorry about the house. It is shocking how screwed up things are right now. Anyway, so excited to see how big she is getting. I can't believe she refuses to wear certain clothing, must be a girl thing. That hat will look cute with any thing at any time.
from harri3tspy :
So cute. She's getting so big!
from harri3tspy :
Hooray for the apple hat! I can't tell you how happy that makes me. It's a magic hat, I tell you.
from harri3tspy :
How exciting! Good luck!
from ladyloo :
OH! how exciting for you!!
from coldandgray :
I wish I had some emotional money. BUY BUY BUY! Sounds like you have done your homework & found a great place. EXCITING!!!!!
from artgnome :
oooo, a house! yay for YOU and the fambly! :)
from harri3tspy :
That sounds like a perfect commute!
from artgnome :
it's amazing how so much emotion and feelings and wonderful memories can be attached to everyday items. I hope your last glass holds out to keep that fire kindled well into your old age.
from artgnome :
thank you! it's worldofjunimoon to the yahoo and oh, you know the rest. :) I will be putting some limits on studio visitors, for sure. They are all, even the gushers, getting to be a distraction.
from artgnome :
as you well know, I have the same type of aversion to Harleys as you do drumming. Being a drummer though, I really feel you on having to listen to people play that do not know what they are doing. agh.
from coldandgray :
Welcome back. Already an international traveller and saying so many words. My goodness.
from blighty :
I hope that you are not considering going down the non-public footpath to gather your avocados or blackberries or anything else for that matter.
from artgnome :
I think it's so great that you are making a travel bug out of Susie already! You are very brave and of course, well traveled parents, so it's seems that you are taking your normal road to things. I'm glad you had a great trip!
from coldandgray :
Travel stress is the worst. You are doing great, hang in there.
from blighty :
Hey, I know of a cheap hotel in Essex that has free washing machines, highchair and cot, plenty of loud, unruly children and someone ELSE's in laws to pass unwanted and pithy judgement. Note in point: G's mother-in-law recently told his wife (ie ME) that I should just not go into work one day next week, and "live without another pair of shoes." Because of course, my job is a casual, joke kind of thing and the salary is just for buying myself shoes. Can't wait.
from artgnome :
Ahhh, one of the greatest benefits of being single and unrelationshipped, IN LAWS. Saying a little prayer for ya, girlfriend.
from artgnome :
Thank you for the diet encouragement. I know you know how people react to it. But it's working for me and I no longer crave sugar 24/7. I'm so glad your trip is going so well.
from artgnome :
There is really something about certain smells, aren't there? They take you back to wonderful memories and are so comforting at times. I'm so happy for you and K and your little Susie!
from coldandgray :
I actually got a tear when I read that last line. A lovely story, both sweet & tragic. You are a brave soul taking a toddler on that long flight. Enjoy the rest of your trip.
from coldandgray :
Good luck with the house hunt. I know location is key, but to find our affordable dream home we had to go a bit outside the city limits. Although I do wish I had a 2nd bathroom!
from blighty :
I will never find the peace and joy that you do from the great outdoors or enjoy the simple dawning of a day or a season, but your love of it all makes me want to go outside, and try to love it just a little. (Oh, and by the way, I think your picture needs a little blossom)
from artgnome :
you KNOW I can relate to the issue of finding proper and affordable housing. The painting thing was written beautifully. I actually LOL'd. :)
from enfinblue :
YOu know, t., I have the same problem. I am very direct, so I feel as though I tee people off some of the time. The way that I handle it is by asking them if I have teed them off! Not sure if that would work in your situation. I usually figure that if people are aware that I'm aware of any possible offense and am just doing my job/speaking my peace, they relax.
from enfinblue :
I completely understand what you mean about Europe/jobs. :( I was actually thinking more as though you might want to go back to the U.S. At any rate, I'm glad to hear that things have perked up a little bit in Funcouv and wish you all the best in finding the best place to be!
from enfinblue :
I'm sorry that the situation is so frustrating for you. I understand it fairly well as I've faced a somewhat parallel situation in my current work in the past. It has sounded all along as though Funcouver is not really the place for you guys, so perhaps the next year or so will be good in helping you to decide what you truly want. At any rate, I wish you luck with it! Finding a good dress is always nice...Enjoy your trip!
from enfinblue :
PS The exercise sounds pitch-perfect. Sounds like fun - the best part!
from enfinblue :
Saw this article and thought you might enjoy it (if you hadn't yet caught it): http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/05/weekinreview/05KULISH.html
from artgnome :
I feel like I have to get everything done and we are only going away for three days! egh. What is it with us?
from saudades :
Hi Teranika, I recognize your name from Enfinblue's notes and diary. I am getting to know your diary. It's lovely, and I LOVE cats, too.
from harri3tspy :
I was wondering if you saw this on boing boing. Perhaps a must for Susie? http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=69593004482&h=VB97V&u=GTRlz&ref=nf
from artgnome :
I think that most people in the big suburban houses are too busy working, because they are living outside of their means. oh, the great American consumer dream, eh? rubbish.
from coldandgray :
Happy Happy! I remember you did a guest post for me about your nuptials.
from blighty :
So you've missed the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to give a more interesting leather gift than a baseball glove or wallet...
from harri3tspy :
Happy Anniversary to you and K!
from drgeek :
So, nearly half the people in Canada don't believe in the Theory of Evolution? When do you start burning witches in the town/city square?
from coldandgray :
Lucky you. My "directness" came back after just 6 weeks.
from enfinblue :
PS I had a similar but even worse situation with my paternal grandparents, if you can believe it. They not only prevented me from attending my father's funeral (notifying me through a lawyer AFTER it happened), but completely disinherited me. Afterwards, eventually, my gradnmother wanted to see me again. I went for lunch with her once and then subsequently (after a whole bunch of other crap including death threats from her other son), I decided that life is too short to always be the bigger person. Not sure if I am always right, but the older the get the more comfortable I am that this was a good decision.
from enfinblue :
I shouldn't stick my nose in but...I would ignore it, too. It's not for you to open your life to her. I would just peacefully ignore it. Hope you are well! Sorry to hear about that terrible student. What he or she is doing is dreadful. Too bad you can't cut him or her loose. :(
from blighty :
OK, as someone who knows what you are mentally saying LALALALALALA about, I would think twice and then twice again about accepting. Your half-brother must be astute enough to know that you and she can never be true friends. And you are assuming he knows about the request. Just be careful, my dear. You are endlessly forgiving and big-hearted - and you are an exception to the rule. xxx
from ladyloo :
I agree - either ignore the request, or just allow her a limited profile view.
from coldandgray :
My dad's girlfriend befriended me on facebook. It is not the same as your stepmother situtation, but through FB I always know when she is in Seattle visiting her grandson (coincidentally the exact age as Finn), but she never bothers to see me & my dad never bothers to come with her to visit his own grandson. I get hurt everytime. Might be a can of worms you don't want to open.
from elgan :
Noooo! Just ignore it! Or just leave it in your inbox and never deal with it. You don't have to be friends with her on Facebook. Or, if you feel you do, limit her ability to see your profile and stuff. You can do that too. Don't do what's against your better instincts.
from artgnome :
ah crap, I would have ignored the request and then played dumb if questioned. the woman just probably wants to know your business and is being curious and nosy. I hate when that stuff happens but now have no problems with keeping people I don't want off of my lists.
from enfinblue :
You know, I just re-read your entry and realized that I misunderstood it on first read. Sorry! I do hope that things level off soon and that you feel physically like yourself.
from enfinblue :
Thanks for the carbon offsets suggestion. I appreciate it. As for the weight gain (and obviously I don't know anything about post-pregnancy), when one starts exercising one often puts on weight (and not just due to muscle gain). I think it's carbohydrate storage, though I can't quite recall (not a scientist :) - I often put on weight when I step up the running, which is counterintuitive, and retain water as one part of it). This will sound weird but have you thought of lowering your salt intake (not sure how much you consume now)? In any event, I want to say, "Don't think about it, keep to your exercise regime not for weight loss but for pleasure and well-being (be gentle and patient with yourself and trust that the results will come) and get lots of sleep." I think that when you focus on the good, healthy steps and take the pressure off the weight and any other specific goals things work best (just my observation from experiences with friends, family and colleagues). In other words, be consistent with the exercise but otherwise just forget about it, relax and enjoy life. You deserve it! My body always performs its worst when I'm focusing on it and performs its best when I trust that the healthy steps will lead me in the right direction! (Sorry for the long note - I am a self-fashioned "expert.")
from artgnome :
I hear you, sista. My metabolism came to a screeching halt years ago and is yet to be resuscitated. In turn, I've learned to love myself outside of my looks, and the jerks keep their distance now. Life as a gnome is just not that bad for me.
from enfinblue :
T- Do you have a best carbon offsets suggestion?
from harri3tspy :
What a great experiment. I hadn't heard of it -- thanks for posting it!
from enfinblue :
THanks for my laugh of hte evening!! I especially loved the closing sentence: Both Americans (33%) and Canadians (23%) are clearly less inspired about the prospect of closer ties with Saudi Arabia. Oh lordy.
from enfinblue :
MichAEl. sorry.
from enfinblue :
ACK! PS: SOrry for the additional note, but I found out that I should be able to go to a session led by Micheal I. at the Ottawa Writers Festival in a few weeks. Shall I put in a word? :)
from enfinblue :
YOu know, I can't bear to read the comments anymore. The older I get the more it throws off my day to be exposed to that degree of vitriol (not to mention ignorance in many cases). I just looked at today's poll - more than 8000 people apparently thought it worthwhile to answer "yes" or "no" to whether spring improves their mood at work. GAHHHH
from enfinblue :
As far as I know, Angus Reid has polled these numbers consistently in recent years: http://www.angusreidstrategies.com/polls-analysis/opinion-polls/angus-reid-poll-canadians-believe-human-beings-evolved-over-millions-ye. Still completely idiotic, but there you go - oh me of little faith. :)
from enfinblue :
PS That's a super-cool experiment. One more note on the poll - when I read comments to the various Globe and Mail articles (which I hardly ever read anymore, anyhow), I am always surprised by the preponderance of very right-leaning people on that site.
from enfinblue :
OH good grief, T., that's a completely unscientific poll of people who have chosen to register on that website. My best guess is that a bunch of people are causing trouble. I have never seen a legitimate poll with results like that. The Minister IS an idiot. I don't expect anything better of those damn (excuse my language) conservatives. He's from the thin strip of bible belt in Southern Ontario. Be patient...a change of government, hopefully this year as the economy tanks (more) and the Conservatives show their ill-management of it.
from sunstargirl :
It is not up to us to prove there isn't a God. It's up to the Christians to prove there IS one. You can't prove a negative.
from coldandgray :
Elgan's answer to #6 surprised me; your answer SHOCKED me.
from harri3tspy :
Wow. That's alarming. I'm gobsmacked.
from enfinblue :
Honestly, sincerely, to my eyes she is the cutest baby I have ever seen! Adorable! I love her smile! Good for you for starting up your exercise routine. Don't get discouraged - you've probably already realized that soreness peaks 48 hours after the initial assault and then diminishes rapidly thereafter. :)
from coldandgray :
Sorry you are sore, but hey CUTE baby!
from artgnome :
wonderful pictures, thank you. She is one gorgeous girl!
from harri3tspy :
So cute! I am a sucker for any baby clothes with ears. And as long as we're sharing pictures of babies in possibly compromising situations, I should dig out the photo of AJ with my wedding garter on his head. He used to like to climb into my underwear drawer, which was the lowest one on a built-in cabinet in my bedroom.
from elgan :
I'm going to be in Victoria the last bit of April/first bit of May. Any chance I can take a ferry across and spend a day with you and the wee one?
from blighty :
Hilarious. Would love to see a picture. Will trade a picture of Ben sitting in the kitchen cupboard and/or with his head in the tumble dryer. Or the three-year old Ben with his own saw that his daddy bought for him. I think sitting in the drawer of the oven, and not the oven itself is the height of parental responsibility.
from artgnome :
have to get a time honored picture of susie in the oven drawer first. that is amazing cute. watching children grow is an amazing experience! If your trip brings you anywhere near rochester, let me know. I would love to meet you.
from enfinblue :
Oh T, I remember you talking about that friend and supporting her in the making of her CD. I think that your last paragraph has it right - it seems likely that this "dam breaking" will be helpful in the end. Hopefully she will seek additional support.
from blighty :
Thanks for that. Nice to know I'll be fondly remembered. Kids like the carp face as well. Let me know when Susi starts lining up her shoes.
from artgnome :
woo! Susie already has working job skills! Yay for Susie. :)
from blighty :
I know you will have more success convincing Susi that she wants to crawl up and down stairs facing up the stairs. I only managed this with the Nicole. Ben stubbornly refused and was always on the verge of falling headfirst into the radiator at the bottom of our stairs; Sam thought it was great fun to crawl down headfirst and toboggan most of the way. Only the GIRL worked it out.
from coldandgray :
The climbing thing is not fun for me when he is suddenly up on the table top. Finn is already trying to climb out of his crib. oy.
from artgnome :
I have noticed that with some baby girls, they are real climbers! My son would not even crawl. Not interested. He walked at 9.5 months.
from blighty :
Sorry to be tardy with this...my sister had roseola when she was little so at some point people in Boston have heard of it (maybe it never spread west of the Mississippi)...only heard of slapped cheek since coming to the UK, but highly possible this is called something very exciting in the USA, as I have learned from my other sister (the one with kids) that illnesses I would call "baby flu" etc are called by their latin doctor names. This continues through childhood, by the way. Here a child is sick. There a child has rotovirus or something like that. So sorry that you have missed the whole two days off.
from coldandgray :
Poor Susi (& mommy)! Elevensies is not fun.
from enfinblue :
I've definitely heard of roseola. Maybe it IS a Canadian thing. :) Sounds like she maybe got a couple of things in quick succession or all at once. Good thing that she's on the mend, though. :)
from harri3tspy :
I hadn't heard of either of the diseases until I had AJ and started reading alarmist baby rearing manuals. I'm glad everyone is on the mend!
from harri3tspy :
Oh no! Poor Susi! Poor you! I hope everyone's feeling better soon.
from enfinblue :
Your dreams are much cooler than mine! I want to have cool dreams! I had an incredibly detailed one last night about going to a hair salon and being assigned an old woman for a hairdresser who refused to cut my hair. Why, I have no idea. Glad to hear that Susi is chipper!
from blighty :
oh.my.god. That could actually come in the top three - the others being the defense of your dissertation that turned out to be in German (Swedish?) and on large African land mammals, and running a VERY close second to the wedding dream whereby all guests are decapitated by flying fried eggs. You are so weird.
from artgnome :
man, that is one crazy dream! What did you have for dinner? heh.
from enfinblue :
Ottawa is a very special kind of a place (lots of overpaid and overemployed people, me included). :) Cool about the economics papers! You will not be surprised to hear this, but LIMITS to growth were never emphasized during my graduate studies. I got in trouble for mentioning them in my article for a university brochure (questioning the utility of economics as it is wasn't what they had in mind for the publication, but they published it anyhow!) I also like curling. It's civilized. That's a big plus in a sport.
from artgnome :
heh, I'll warm up the space ship. :)
from artgnome :
I'm so sorry! My entry had nothing to do with the nice comment you sent. Someone else wrote an entry just daring anyone to refute her. She lives in southern CA, has a great job and everything she needs and wants. She has readers that struggle with bipolar and depression. She was being incredibly insensitive to them. That is what I was writing about. I think you are GREAT. none of this was directed at you. I hope you and susie are feeling much better! xo
from enfinblue :
It's good to hear that the infant care there is satisfactory. There are a great many babies in Vancouver. A sign of prosperity. I always notice babies when I'm out there. It's the same in Ottawa - everyone is pregnant (except me, of course ;)), because of job security and demographics. When I was wandering around in Rome this Christmas I had an epiphany: I had only seen one or two pregnant women in all of my trips to Italy last year! (Of course this makes sense, given the birth rate there. Kind of sad, really.) If you're wondering why I'm on the computer writing diaryland notes at 1 a.m... I suppose I shouldn't be, but we have a post-budget "staff social" tomorrow (a curling event), so I don't feel particularly inspired to be well-rested. ;)
from enfinblue :
Well, I'm really sorry that you're not feeling well, but glad to hear that Susi is better. Do you know, they introduced those nurse hotlines in Ontario to reduce front line hospital visits, but my guess is that those nurses on the line are so risk averse (checklist or no checklist), that they're probably sending most people who call out for emergency care, anyhow. :) Not sure. It's always a tough call. I waited two days before going to the hospital with my broken arm, because i wasn't sure, but I certainly wouldn't take the same calculated risk with a child.
from coldandgray :
Sounds like you are going through the "sick phase" of child rearing when the germ transferring overwhelms. Hope you all get better soon. Is it snowing there? We have gotten snow the last 3 days. Nutty.
from stepfordtart :
Hey! Thanks for your note, really appreciated it. Usually I only get so many commenters when I write something REALLY filthy! s x
from harri3tspy :
Sorry about the rotten day. I hope today's going better!
from swimmmer72 :
I agree completely. I was never a Bush 43 fan and that goes back long before he was 43. The last 8 years have been a dramatic step backward on so many levels, and MOST of the country has been tramatized watching the gap between us and them grow deeper every year. Rather than a review of the oh-so-painful past, today gave us a chance to have hope and faith that government will rule for the benefit of all. I wasn't really a part of the disenfranchised, not nearly as much as most, and to see the excitement in their eyes and the joy in their heart that they will at long last be truly represented was amazing to see. I'm looking forward to the next eight years, with hope and faith. :)
from coldandgray :
Sorry you were cranky, hope you are feeling better today. Your nanny situation is like a dream come true. Glad you had a lovely first bday celebration for your daughter. Congrats again.
from enfinblue :
I like your proposed strategy. It's great that you had a great time with Susi, and also aboutt he paper reviews. Congratulations!! Good stuff. I love your template and pic, by the way.
from artgnome :
SO glad you got a new and much better nanny!
from blighty :
cheesy popcorn...wow that just sounds soooo goooood.
from artgnome :
can't believe it's a year already. Happy, happy to Susi.
from harri3tspy :
Oh, a very happy birthday to Susi -- and a happy Susi's birthday to you!
from coldandgray :
Yes, BF-ing gets tricky when they get TEETH! Speaking of, I was trying to brush Finn's teeth with one of those finger brushes and he bit me so hard I screamed, which of course scared the bejesus out of him & made him cry. For some reason, his reaction in turn made me laugh hysterically & my husband thought I was terrible laughing so hard at the crying baby. Motherhood is hard, eh?
from coldandgray :
ONE YEAR OLD??? Oh My goodness. Congratulations and happy birthday. and I am personally terrified of my kid in this hitting stage. I feel like I am in an abusive relationship!
from blighty :
Fantastic! Supernanny AND cleaners. I have come to think that this is the best way to spend one's money. Congratulations on dealing with and besting a hideous problem. My own excellent mother-in-law put up with a cleaner who didn't clean for almost 5 years, because she just couldn't psych herself up for the confrontation, and the search for a replacement. Many of us accept less than we want to because it is easier. You are, as always, my inspiration. xxxx.
from artgnome :
heh, we used to use rubber cement during lectures in art class, back in high school. Nothing like a good peel! :)
from elgan :
The movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, was originally a 1921 short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald. It apparently took many years to come to the screen. I don't know what book you're referring to.
from elgan :
Happy New Year, dear. Best wishes for 2009 and beyond.
from artgnome :
landlords suck. that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
from marn :
Awwwww, your daughter looks so cute in her snowsuit! I think you guys got more snow out there then we got here in the boonies. My sympathies--here there are snowplows and folks with winter tires. There not so much, eh?
from coldandgray :
Merry holiday to you & yours, especially that scrumptious baby girl. I have toddler snow pics coming soon, too. The weather has been NUTS! Glad to hear you survived. Bracing for another odd storm this week. Yee! Happy New year!
from blighty :
You are the best!! Love the festive green. Wish I were as clever as you. Had a great time with A-M now that she has been living in Alabama, and learning such useful things as the plural of ya'll is all ya'll. Of course, now she knows more about murica than I do, but hey ho. Ben still working on his microbes poster...one more week of xmas vacation. And then we too will be throwing as much of our house away as can fit in a rent-a-dumpster. xxxx
from blighty :
What a great time in the snow. Remember hating those mittens attached to the string that went up your arms and around your back? Looking at them from the other point of view, what a great idea! And hey, I was telling the kids about Famous Barr and French Onion Soup, but what I always loved was the white iron railings and the trellis! Sigh. Susi is gorgeous!
from harri3tspy :
So cute! An excellent use of snow. We've been doing plenty of sledding as well. But not today, because it is suddenly 55 F and pouring down rain. Oy. What a month we've had.
from enfinblue :
Sledding was my absolute favourite thing as a kid. I'm sure she had a blast. :)
from harri3tspy :
Merry Christmas to all of you!
from enfinblue :
Merry Christmas! Glad you had an adventure (that ended well). :) I'm very much a take-it-in-stride traveler, too. I sort of expect things to go wrong and then am positively surprised when things go off without a hitch. I know what you mean about friendships that distance and time don't change. I have a couple of Australian friends like that, one of whom I first met in London fifteen years ago. Each time I see her it is as though we had never parted. :)
from enfinblue :
You won't believe me, but that actually WAS the headline on the paper paper! I sat down across from the guy to munch on my croissant, just to catch a glimpse of the article. Yeah, "ruthless" doesn't really match with the whole Canadian "going for bronze" mentality, does it? But at the same time, as I think of it, we've had some remarkably ruthless people as leaders. Perhaps one must be so...Honestly though, I don't know what it is - passivity, apathy - but Canadians usually just shrug their shoulders at stuff pertaining to the personal lives of politicians. I mean, Pierre T. was fooling around in the back of his car with a folk singer at one point and no one gave it a second thought. No one could care less about Muffin Head's family or the fact that he's a sociopath (obviously). :) Honestly, I don't remember there ever being ANY buzz around ANY Canadian politician, except when the majority of the population under 35 rose up and started an online petition to have Stockw3ll Day's name legally changed to Doris. (He deserved it though - he was doing media stunts in a wetsuit, on a windsurfer. UGH)
from enfinblue :
This morning, on my way to French I saw Justin Trudeau. No Iggy, but when I left on break to find myself a giant, buttery croissant, the guy across from me in the coffee shop was reading a paper on the back of which was sprawled the headline: Michael Ignatieff: Navel-gazer-in-chief. :) Et voilà, to pursuade you of my sense of balance (but not that I have any clue as to any of his critical policy stances :)): http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2008/12/10/national-post-editorial-board-ignatieff-s-academic-theories-bump-into-realities-of-office.aspx
from enfinblue :
ACK! I'm sorry that I wasted your time with that article. I read it a while back. It is true that it doesn't give one much of a sense of his positions. In fact, I suppose, I haven't read much at all that puts his positions forth. Most Canadians have no clue. I don't have much clue, really - more of an intuition. I suppose it's more that I have certain expectations of the Liberal party once in power. Anyhow. Gotta run. Hope you can forgive me for the article.
from enfinblue :
That sounds terrible. But as you say, at least you know that Susi wasn't hurt in any way by the last girl. Good luck with the new one.
from sunstargirl :
wow, that sounds like the nanny from Hell! I'm glad you guys found a replacement. I would not want to deal with that. I've been a nanny and worked with a severely handicapped child as well, and it's my belief that one of the primary responsibilities of a nanny is to take stress off the parents. That's why they're hiring another pair of hands, to take some of the daily burden of life/family/kids off of themselves. This nanny was causing you guys even MORE stress. Backwards! And I'm sorry, how does an EMAIL get "lost"?!?! If it was undeliverable you would have seen it bounce back to your own inbox and she wouldn't be getting some but not others. What a liar.
from enfinblue :
PS The funniest thing is that just two weeks ago I left my French training one morning because I was starving. I entered a McD's for the first time in something like ten years, because I had a craving for an egg mcm. Funny, I know. I was two people behind Michael I. in line. So we know that his taste is not always so refined. (Liberal headquarters is just down the street from my French class.) Next time I'll think of something intelligent to ask him. :)
from enfinblue :
Oh t, you just have no idea...I mean, the first thing I thought when I started my current job was "UC college, UC college, UC college..." This is a *small* and young country. And in the "power" (cough cough) centres the circles are very, very small. Thirty years ago Toronto fancied itself a little microcosm of merry old England. I don't mean this at all in a disparaging way, but I think that this element of Canada is difficult for Americans transplanted here to understand. They can sense and see that this is kind of a quaint, backward sort of a place, for all of its pretensions otherwise, but the degree to which we're still stuck in "upper" and "lower" Canada modes (at least in Ottawa) is difficult to appreciate...The article is long (and a bit boring and gossipy, I realize), but I actually do think that the guy will win the nomination and that he has a chance to win a minority (depending on, depending on), so it's kind of interesting to get a sense of his background.
from enfinblue :
Kind of long and gossipy, but I got something out of it :): http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20060825.wxboat26/BNStory/National/home
from enfinblue :
Oh, t...I can't believe that things have come to this. This is NOT the Canada in which I grew up. I never thought I would ever see a reconstituted conservative party (they used to be the progressive conservatives as separate from the right-wing reform party, which I'm sure that you already knew, so I don't mean to be insulting your intelligence) with THIS much support. I fear that we are in for a long run of conservative minorities or even majorities. But maybe I'm just a pessimist. My best guess is that Ignatieff is going to win the nomination in May for the Liberals (though you JUST never know). I honestly can't say what his chances are. Not that great. Tricky. And would he do a good job...well, better than the alternatives, perhaps. Really wishy-washy at this point. I'm in a wait-and-see position and I suppose that I'm enough of an optimist that I have a small but lingering hope that someone interesting will pop up out of nowhere.
from enfinblue :
Trust me, we can't get rid of H fast enough for my liking. I feel like I'm living in a dictatorship. Unfortunately, those nasty b******s tend to hang on...
from enfinblue :
We made the front page of the NYT. :) I couldn't find it on the Guardian site yesterday, but my connection was slow so I couldn't be sure. No matter.
from blighty :
Am thankful for you too. Also thankful that the stuffing is almost gone, the bird departed the house, but there is still a little bit of pumpkin pie left. But mostly I'm thankful for you.
from enfinblue :
Thanks, t. I felt so sorry for him. Hope your family is well.
from elgan :
I would recommend instead of Baby Einstein, the DVD version of Disney's Fantasia. The music is good, the animation is excellent. Perhaps leave out the Rite of Spring sequence until Suzi is a little older. I found the article you linked to hilarious. Like the author, I have a problem with plunking infants in front of TV to keep them quiet. We never did it.
from coldandgray :
I love your collage of thoughts....
from swimmmer72 :
I remember teaching 11th grade American history where students just didn't get that simply copying something out of an encyclopedia was plagarizing. I was working my way worth a pile of about 60 papers and realized that the one I was reading seemed awfully familiar. It was - an exact copy, minus one complete sentence on one which told me who had copied from the book and who had copied from her friend. I was probably too lenient, but both got the same grade (low, but not a zero) realizing that the same was probably true for many of the other papers, too. No, not only do I not like failing kids, I also hate fighting a losing battle. :(
from essaywriter :
I'm still keeping a diary, only now at kathyesque.com. I loved your story about your aunt and the cab driver -- last week, I think it was? I couldn't stop thinking about how well the cabbie summed up the G. W. Bush experience.
from stepfordtart :
Haha! I remember that SO well! You can hold their little feet up in the air with one hand and then, as you reach for the nappy, they do this freaky twisty body thing and end up more or less doing a headstand. Im pretty sure headstands arent good for babies. Mind you, it might explain a lot with my two! s x
from coldandgray :
I have to sing or make funny noises to distract Finn from the diaper change. Sometimes just letting him play with his shoe works.
from stepfordtart :
Just in case you were wondering (or you have a site meter with an odd spike in it!), it was me, fellow friend of blighty's, lurking about in your archives! s x
from harri3tspy :
Lovely.
from artgnome :
oh hah! the walker! I can still feel my son hitting the back of my feet with that thing! But hey, he also walked, on his own, at 9 months, so it's a good trainer. Did you ever see that US commercial, quite a few years back, of the baby racing around the house in a walker? I used to LOVE that. Yay for Susi!
from ladyloo :
That is a wonderful analogy. And kudos to your mom - I always want to ask those questions of anyone from away, but I'm usually much too chicken. But so curious!
from coldandgray :
What a beautiful entry and I love your mom for taking such an interest. Now it is time to buckle down and fix this broken watch. Just think, our children's first election is so historical and hopeful!
from taurustheta :
My only disappointment is that it looks as if the infuriating California Prop. 8 is going to pass. There are still lots of absentee ballots to count, though...
from taurustheta :
Happy day! Wow. Last night people were cheering and banging pots and pans in the street. One of my Dutch friends even sent me a jubilant text message saying that she and friends in Den Haag had been following the election all night and that she wished me and my country all the best. Now the hard work begins, but yes, finally we can have real hope. And today I can finally say I am proud of my country.
from taurustheta :
I hear you-- I'm practically shaking with anticipation. I should have taken the day off from work, because I'm having trouble concentrating. I, too, have gotten teary-eyed several times today already...especially when I watched footage of the Obamas casting their ballots, their little girls watching...
from coldandgray :
shoot, I just burst into tears again!
from coldandgray :
Fingers crossed for tomorrow. and yes, you are a Halloweenie!
from harri3tspy :
Yay for students at my alma mater for helping out the campaign. But my hat is really off to your parents. I find it incredibly encouraging that people who have been involved in elections for so many years still believe in the process enough to get out there and try to make a difference. Election years are our chance to get out and fight for our beliefs as individuals in the project of our country. We are incredibly lucky to have the opportunity. But so few of us actually get off our collective asses and do anything. Very, very cool.
from ladyloo :
Every time you tell a story about your landlords, I am embarrassed for my entire country.
from coldandgray :
The sizing chart for babies is so confusing. Finn is wearing 18 - 24 months at just a year. It sucks when someone buys him clothes for his age & they don't fit. Is she crawling yet? Look out. It is true what they say about having to run around after your kids.
from sunstargirl :
thanks for your note. I think it's funny your entry about butter got 7 replies!
from harri3tspy :
I loved that suit too. It made him look like an upholstered starfish -- maybe a cross between Smithers' bear suit and Maggie in her winter finest. It was fun to carry him around in it though. Kind of like hauling a very floppy muppet.
from taurustheta :
Our place is gonna be a superfun crazy-house in December, with two little (but tall) crawling, cruising, teething ones... Can't wait to see Susi and SFBaby together!
from harri3tspy :
What adorable pictures! She's getting so big!!
from sunstargirl :
she is beautiful!
from artgnome :
such a picture perfect, happy little baby! :)
from blighty :
ok one more note about butter. I have mostly switched to English butter because the Danish butter got ridiculously expensive. What are they feeding the cows? Not as nice as the Danish butter, but my kids haven't noticed or complained. Only unsalted in my house - poor G has to sprinkle salt on his buttered bloomer toast and popcorn. Can get French butter too, which is only for exceptional use (such as me being home alone and desperate for some quick weight gain). :-)
from blighty :
Glad Susi and you are feeling better. She may not know how to exhale, but she knows how to hold a cup in place for a bath picture! She really is beautiful, you know.
from taurustheta :
Poor little sweetie. Feel better soon, Susi!
from taurustheta :
LOL! A clever one, that Susi.
from harri3tspy :
What a talented girl! And also, it sounds like she, too, has been studying the Wile E. Coyote school of gravitational physics.
from coldandgray :
Now you need to do a photo essay butter taste test. My husband hates it when I buy the giant tub of margarine!
from reader1209 :
lol! I was oddly intrigued and way too interested in this whole butter entry. I wonder what that says about my whole psyche...:)
from drgeek :
As with all things culinary, there is good U.S.-made butter out there if you go looking for it. It's just that butter is a bit like beer, the mass market stuff is bland. You can generally find high butterfat butter from grass-fed cows that rivals Normandy butter in flavor from dairies in Vermont, California, and other places if you want to pay a little bit more for it. *sigh* We poor Americans are still just recovering from a mid-20th Century fixation with mass produced "convenience food". (The Jetsons got instant meals from pills, not robots who were gourmet cooks after all.) The following NY Times Magazine article by Mark Bittman touches on the subject: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/12/magazine/12wwln-lede-t.html
from teranika :
YES! I agree - the German butter was fabulous. K says that Swiss butter is even better. I also liked the Irish butter, but it didn't have that sweet/sour flavor that was so fabulous in the German butter. When I moved back to NYC I always wanted to make my own butter using organic cream and sour cream to create that wonderful flavor from German butter.
from taurustheta :
German butter is the best! Even the so-called European-style butter I buy here in SF tastes off to me. Some friends of ours made their own butter and said it was astonishingly easy and quite tasty (I didn't try it to confirm).
from artgnome :
wow! I didn't know there were such differences in butter! I'm going to have to investigate! :)
from elgan :
When we were in Greece, we experimented with many different EU butters and found we liked the Irish the best. Nothing has matched it since. As for butter dishes, I use a round dish that a quarter-pound fits in quite well. This means the rest stays wrapped up in the fridge until it's time for the next chunk. Thanks for the forward of that article, by the way. It is absolutely hilarious.
from artgnome :
I know. I feel so stretched that I may break. But we know I won't, and you won't. We'll get through this, with our intellects intact. :)
from swimmmer72 :
It isn't any better down south in the US. Nice people who nod and comment about global warming as if it was a bad case of the flu, something that will be history after a "really good winter..." The only difference is that you (Canada) will see the impact sooner as it's right at your back door. Maybe. I don't know given the state of denial that exists, but (and I'm sure you are accurate) your comment that we are already too late scares the hell out of me. What on earth are we doing to ourselves?
from elgan :
I'm very sorry about your friend as well.
from coldandgray :
I am so sorry about your friend.
from coldandgray :
The debate tonight is going to be high-larious!
from taurustheta :
On YouTube I finally watched some excerpts from Katie Couric's interview. For a good 20 seconds I thought it must be the Saturday Night Live spoof...nope.
from taurustheta :
Re: that definitely falls under the category of "no shit, sherlock": I remember that! Oddly, at the time I think I found those car alarms to be a curiously charming part of living in the middle of a big American city (just as I never really minded hearing European sirens when I lived in Germany). Now, many years later, I don't think I'm quite so easily charmed...
from taurustheta :
Re: and the band plays on: Man-- not good. How have things been going since you had the big talk with her?
from taurustheta :
Re: ...alas, for tooth!...: How exciting! Can you actually see the tooth yet? I keep thinking Seri's teething, but nothing... Can't wait to see all three of you in December.
from coldandgray :
hurray for the first tooth!
from artgnome :
an oven full of burning leaky cake goo is no fun, no fun at all. How is the nanny situation going?
from coldandgray :
Sorry about your nanny woes. That would seriously stress me out. I am hopeful the perfect situation arrives for you soon.
from elgan :
I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry if I received a response like that. Good luck finding someone literate.
from artgnome :
It sounds like seeking out a nanny agency may be in order. I wouldn't be taking any chances with my child.
from swimmmer72 :
I know this is a late opinion (my monitor wasn't working) but I think you are doing the right thing by balancing what you WANT to do with what you are ABLE to do. Still, even though you have lousy options, I'd look to make a change ASAP as you are completely right about your concerns. Susi has to be safe and it doesn't sound like she is with the Nanny.
from readersguide :
Okay, I'm the third here. Think of her as an employee. She's not doing what you want. You don't have to be nice and give her forty chances. You've given her forty chances. Fire her and find someone else. [I'm a librarian, and we hire students all the time, and it's taken me years to figure this out, but there are employees who are good, and those who aren;t, and it makes no sense to keep the bad ones, when you can easily replace them with good ones.] Really -- find someone else. It's not that you're not being clear. It's that she's not paying attention.
from elgan :
I agree totally with Harriet. This person doesn't have the investment you do in Susi's well being. Let her go. No need even for discussion, because even after you point out the problems and she promise's to fix them, she won't.
from harri3tspy :
It sounds like you're right to be concerned. Even before you said it, I was thinking that any one of these things would not be alarming, but the cumulation is something else again. If you're concerned about your emotions, try to think of her as an employee in a business. Is she showing up to work on time and leaving when she should? Is she doing the tasks assigned thoroughly? When she makes mistakes, does she correct them? Is she attentive to her work? It doesn't sound like it. And those are grounds for warning at the very least. My advice would be to make sure the expectations are carefully spelled out and the consequences for not doing them are understood. Of course this is easy for me to say. It's not my nanny. I'm sure I'd be a wreck about it and would choose hovering over confrontation. Good luck!
from artgnome :
Listen to your gut, which has been telling you all along that this is not the right nanny for you. She is a poor employee all around, and I say fire her.
from blighty :
ok first of all, I really really want to see the susi shake. And I even have a copy of Rubber Duckie... second, leaf blowers should be banned. ever heard of a rake??? third, I'm right there wich ya, old fogey. them there kids should be takin their own damn lecture notes. but finally, you gave me the serious heebie jeebies and I'll be asking you not to do it again. My dad, the real old fogey, says things like "I just don't get these people." EEK.
from sfdad :
depending on the vintage of car you have, may i make a suggestion: check out the fuse box. if you are lucky, you may be able to find a fuse that you can unplug that will shut up the !@#$!@# alarm for good and yet leave the rest of the car functional. i remember this vividly from about ten years ago, when i went on a river-rafting trip. one of the other people on the trip was driving a car with a fancy alarm and a key fob that disengaged it...but she had the misfortune to drop the whole mess in the river. of course, when it dried off, it didn't work. unfortunately for the rest of us, while her key did work, the alarm went off...and we were stuck in the middle of a g*dforsaken place about an hour's drive from the nearest Speedy Tow. it was not looking good until someone had the bright idea to start pulling fuses, which got things going again quickly. i have no idea if this is possible with newer models (seems like a bit of a security problem, no?) but perhaps it's worth a shot.
from elgan :
I hate those car alarms too. One July during the International Fireworks Festival in Sherbrooke when we were perched on a hillside with hundreds of other to watch the show, one particular car in the lot would go off with exactly that type of alarm every time there was one of those window-rattling bangs. The first time it was funny, the second time less so, and by the third time we were all very sick of it. But I agree, lawn mowers and leaf blowers are just as bad. What happened to rotary push mowers and rakes?
from harri3tspy :
I draw the line at lecture notes myself and I state it outright on my syllabus. I tell them to get the notes from another student. It would be very easy for me to stick them up on a webpage, but I flat out refuse. They can do a little work. The ones who are the biggest pains in the ass about things like that don't do any work anyhow. As for dancing, AJ had a little dance at that age too. When he heard music he liked, he'd freeze on all fours for a second and then start rocking back and forth in time to the music. We called it the Butt Dance. And I'm very glad to have it on video. His favorite song was "All the Way to Reno" by REM. I have no idea why.
from artgnome :
awesome entry today! PREACH it sista! There's this old TV show that was called Northern Exposure and Dr. Joel Fleischmann is quoted as telling his patients to say, "I want an epidural". heh.
from enfinblue :
That's great to hear, t. Sounds like you are ticking off challenges on your list! I was interested to read your comments about the operas. I've actually only seen La Traviata of the three. All three are being offered in the church whilst I am in Florence. I'm quite amazed by the number of performances, actually. I think I'll book two or even three. For those prices I'd be foolish not to do so. I'll give Rigoletto a chance.
from harri3tspy :
Hooray! Congratulations on your diplomatic coup!
from elgan :
Gah! Committees! The bane of academia!
from enfinblue :
That's outstanding. Perhaps it's just because you had low expectations that you delivered something commonsensical to which they couldn't object.:)
from swimmmer72 :
Good for you!! :)
from ladyloo :
Oh wow. The first part of your story had my stomach clenching up. Congratulations on being the bastion of sanity!
from enfinblue :
Thanks for the Rick St3ves suggestion. I think that he is, indeed, mad for Italy. I loved your uncle Bear story!
from elgan :
My brother once did that, put something on the shopping list that made me laugh out loud when I was in the supermarket: grinkled fnorbles. So for a birthday present once, I made him a coupon, good for one grinkled fnorble, bon pour une fnorble grinklée!
from coldandgray :
Somehow I missed the birthday post, I LOVED IT! Happy Happy! and I always love a good power outage. My last one had me using an ancient battery powered pump by candle light.
from artgnome :
ah romance..., birthdays. what are those again?
from enfinblue :
Sorry - that doesn't make much sense. Hope you can extract something from it. :)
from enfinblue :
How exciting! You have so many exciting things yet to experience, and really do you want to meet any particular destination? I never am sure whether I do. :) (That's not surprising.) And by the way, your body hasn't peaked! As you become more active again you'll probably be surprised at the renewal that you will go through. I've heard it from so many people who have stepped up their exercise in their 40s and 50s. I'm experiencing it a little bit myself with my recent adoption of cycling (I can't run at the moment, anyhow). So many exciting things. Oh, and I am with you on the flamenco. I have a friend in Montreal who is a great flamenco dancer. In fact I also read an article a few years back about people who go take flamenco vacations. Seriously. It actually interested me. To be honest, even if I do an activity that includes only women, I imagine that it's the confidence-building and increased joy that counts - you can't plan where you'll meet the actual boy. OH and lastly...I can't believe I'm saying this but pretty much everything on your list that you have crossed out I HAVE EATEN. Well except roadkill. EEEK. I didn't realize how adventurous I am but I suppose it comes from traveling in various places when very, very hungry.
from elgan :
Happy Birthday!
from ladyloo :
How is it that you live in Vancouver and have never had pho? Otherwise, way to be the adventurous eater there, lady!
from harri3tspy :
Happy birthday! I hope your family spoils you rotten tomorrow!
from artgnome :
the bulk of the best time of my life have happened in my 40's. The body is definitely the trade off, but worth having the better quality of life. I hope you have a spectacular birthday tomorrow and equally stupendous year. :)
from artgnome :
well, at least you tried, and you learned, so in just that it is a valuable experience. You also have a funny as hell story to tell your daughter when she is older.
from sfdad :
Gas definitely needs to go up to 10 currency units per volume unit. ($/gal, euro/litre, or whatever--units are unimportant.) We seem to have pulled off a 97. We look forward to having you walk with us in December! (In contrast, my parents' place gets a 28.)
from ladyloo :
So my town got a 5. Yes, 5. I don't know of any southern town that would get a very high score, though.
from enfinblue :
Great picture. And very cool website. I guess it's a function of the deficiences of mapquest though, because for my neighbourhood it missed most of the most important things to me. It missed the park 100m from my house, the canal 200m in the other direction, and the strangest one - under public libraries it missed the main branch of the Ottawa public library about 800m away. I agree, too, that access to good public transit is important - as is some related adjustment for mobility. Some seniors would want to live in a "walking" neighbourhood with a few specific things - parks to sit in, a good grocery store, and a few doctor's offices, but would be happy enough if everything else were a bit more removed if public transit were cheap and accessible. For me, as well, I'm happy if the radius of my "walking" circle is quite large.
from artgnome :
my black hole of late has been the bank. they are sucking me dry with fees, refusing to cash my checks unless I give all of it to them, all kinds of crap. Someday, I'm going to have money, and they are so not going to see one cent of it! :)
from coldandgray :
Good luck with the care situation. It will work out fine!
from coldandgray :
Yay, what a nice holiday! Your grandpa is only 74? My dad is about that age.
from enfinblue :
I'm so happy that your trip is winding up in such a relaxing way. And of course there will be next year! You know, things could have happened fifteen years ago, but they would have been different. What is happening now is beautiful - you all had that opportunity arrive, now and it is enriching all of your lives. Take care and safe trip! :)
from enfinblue :
So glad that you are enjoying yourself! You write about it so very evocatively - lovely.
from blighty :
my goodness, it sounds lovely at the River - slow, relaxed. Perfect.
from artgnome :
sounds like some wonderful summer memories for you in Susie's treasured first year. great stuff. thanks also for the note of encouragement. yer a blessing.
from coldandgray :
Happy for you on your holiday with growing child. I am actually in shock I have yet to drop Finn on his noggin' but there is still time.
from enfinblue :
Wow. That study that you mentioned boggles my mind. It makes sense, actually. It makes me sad, too. When I was in school I never asked questions. I was too afraid of appearing to be stupid in front of the class. I was also shy and nervous. I've been proud of myself lately for asking questions and for allowing men at work the opportunity to speak down to me (and they do), because I'm trying to become the best that I can be. I don't ask about *everything*, but I do try to question things that don't make sense, or ask for more information when I feel that it would be useful. I definitely would like to read that study, if you ever have a free moment to find the reference - no hurry though.
from enfinblue :
T., that was such a lovely entry. I enjoyed it immensely - so much so that I will read it again. I'm not sure that I could do the same myself. I'm finding my memory of detail quite poor these days. And as for K...K left a note on my diary, which totally made me crack up. I don't know how to respond directly to him, so let me tell him here that I have no doubt that the cutest baby in the world will be there, and also that I really should reconsider. ;-) Oh! I also wanted to say how great it is to hear that you seem to be excited about some new research ideas and projects. Way to go!
from coldandgray :
Yay! Well done! I love the international flavor. I also note that one bit of solo living was as blissful as my own stint living alone.
from taurustheta :
A lovely entry about the roommates. You know, the other morning I heard "Morning Morgantown" and thought of that one day I spent with you and Ann in SF... And Beethovenstrasse, ahhhhh. For some reason I'm remembering painting our toenails out in the garden when I last visited you there. (?) Must have been during that brief obsession you had with nail polish.
from swimmmer72 :
You have a sharp eye. Not Ithaca, but relatively close. From the top: Ricketts Glen, about 45 miles west of Scranton, PA; Chittenango Falls, near Syracuse; and Watkins Glen. I lived in Ithaca for my first two years of college and have been making pilgrimages almost yearly ever since. Lots of pics of Taughannock, Buttermilk and Treman Falls throughout my diary. I take it you know the area? I did a Hudson Valley trip Oct. 06, and yes, much of it is absolutely beautiful as well. Thanks for the comment! :)
from swimmmer72 :
re: roommates, nationalies and countries. Very stimulating entry!! It brought back a lot of personal memories and maybe I'll do an entry of my own in similar fashion. More places, more years, less people, less nationalities, less countries, probably just as much drama. Yeah, I'll think about it and if the chronology comes together without too much brain trauma, it might just make it to d-land someday. Great entry! :)
from harri3tspy :
That was fun. I haven't had nearly as many roommates, but I may have to try this too!
from harri3tspy :
I have never taken AJ to a conference, mainly because I feel like I wouldn't be able to get the stuff done that I need to do if he and/or Mr. Spy were there. But the conferences I've been to recently have had more and more children in attendance and all have day care. It's very nice to see. I wish the universities were as kid friendly.
from enfinblue :
Good good good supportive K. I need a K. :) Sorry that I haven't gotten back to you - rough week.
from enfinblue :
Yeah, I like rain, too. What a pain about the childcare at the conference. Too bad there is no one there who would be willing to do duty for an hour or two. Hmm... Hope you enjoy Bandy's visit!
from artgnome :
nope, I love rainy days. I could never live in California.
from taurustheta :
"Hmmm, someone had a little problem..." --The Traveller's Hostel, Prague, 2000 Hi, Heddy here. :) Thanks so much for the trip down memory lane! I had forgotten about the avocados from our first meeting (and thanks, Elfinblue, for some wonderful new imagery related to that fine fruit), but I must admit I do still point out the good fat in things (I think it was cashews the other day). In California, though, this is the stuff of serious conversation, you know. "Chant hare krishna and be happy."
from enfinblue :
I was thinking of your entry last night in the grocery store and chuckling away. So I had to tell you that your heddy story has legs. Lately I've been given to buying bags of five avocados. I love them. Others have been doing it too, as they're all over the supermarkets. I was in the car on the volunteer job last week and one of the girls had made avocado sandwiches, but was going on about how fatty they are and how we shouldn't eat them very often. I actually had to stop myself from using the North American GOOD fat line and rather just enjoyed the sandwich, coincidentally. :) So anyhow, when I was in the grocery store last night I was thinking of the new import of that line and chuckling. TO be honest, when I think of and buy avocados I think of genitalia (and that usually makes me giggle). I learned once that the origin of the name is an Incan word (ahuacatl) meaning simply "testicle," (and then corrupted by the Spanish, and now amusingly close to the French word for *lawyer* :)), I think because of the way they dangle from the tree. :) True story. Kind of ties in with your peanut butter tale, too. :) I hope that this makes some sense - I'm too impatient to rewrite it. :)
from enfinblue :
I'm sorry that you're having so many issues with childcare. :( That's tough. Re. the committee thing, my feeling would be to give this woman a call. I think that email can sometimes be a poor way to communicate, in the sense that once people's feelings are hurt email isn't the way to smooth things over. Even though you didn't do anything wrong, I'm sure, maybe giving her a call would help you both to feel better? Not sure. BWAHHH! re. the clown thing. I consider it high praise from you, indeed. :) (So don't worry.) I really am a clown, and very proud of it. The jesters have all of the wisdom, non? :) Have fun with your NYC friends. Oh and soooooo great to hear that you had that exchange with Heddy - picks one up so much, doesn't it?
from harri3tspy :
I don't know the details of what happened, but it sounds to me like you're blaming yourself for too much. Maybe this person just wants to be hurt. Maybe she's got her own problems. It's okay to be diplomatic, but if you've acted in good conscience, I see no reason to blame yourself for someone who, from what you've said here, doesn't sound like she's acting entirely professionally. Repeat after me: It is not my fault. Still, I'm sure when I'm in that situation, many of us, myself included, would feel the same way. It's one thing to assess the situation from afar. It's something else again to see yourself through it when you're in the middle of it.
from enfinblue :
T, so you're saying that I look like a clown? ;-) Just kidding - they are very good acrobats. Often they are former gymnasts!
from enfinblue :
He he re. the time and a half pay! :) Thanks, T, for your comment. You know, I think that I should just shuddup already about my job. :) Mostly, I just need to wait out my promotion and then make a move. Oh and it would help if someone could find my personnel file before I make the trek back across the river. :) By the way, I loved the entry about your great-grandmother/family territory. I didn't realize that you had a M3nnonite background. Very nice. I have known many southern-Ontario M3nnonites. Anyhow. A very nice entry, and great to hear that you had a nice trek "home."
from artgnome :
sounds like some employees may have been getting some time and a half pay, hm? Oh my, six months old already! go susi!
from enfinblue :
Ah I see...you mean C-474, which received Royal Assent on June 26, and was introduced by John Godfrey of Toronto. A very similar bill was introduced by someone from Burnaby (C-437) a while back. I don't know the whole story though. I'm sure it will become clear soon. I'll dig for info. :) Thanks for raising notice.
from enfinblue :
I'm kind of confused about this, anyhow, as both the Senate and Parliament are adjourned right now...
from enfinblue :
I couldn't agree with you more about the price of resources. It's simple economics. And people are stupid. (Can you tell that I'm tired? And that I gave up arguing with my mother who bought a truck recently?) I'd wait for the commentary pieces in this weekend's paper, and if you have the patience for it, the Sunday Ed!tion on the radio. I missed As It Happ3ns last night so I can't say whether there was a discussion on that show.
from coldandgray :
Happy Canada! I am heart broken about the upsidedown church! and soon my photos of it will fall the internet as my d-land membership expires. Why does everything have to change?
from elgan :
Thank you! I just came back from watching fireworks, which is the best part of Canada Day, don't you think?
from ladyloo :
Did someone say there was a quiz?! I love quizzes! Where's the quiz?
from enfinblue :
That was such a lovely entry, t. I once did major anthem research, though I can't remember why. I guess I was curious. I do remember when they changed the words to the Canadian anthem, unless I am imagining things. I think I was in grade four or five. I was pretty confused though, since as I mentioned before I thought I was American until at least grade 1, and then they made us sing God S@ve the Queen BEFORE the Canadian anthem every day... :) Great that you did the quiz. I'll have to try.
from coldandgray :
Your brazil day in the park sounds exceptional!~
from ladyloo :
You bet your bottom dollar you're going back! That sounds like the most wonderful, random little bit of crazy life-making ever!
from enfinblue :
That's pretty hilarious. And fun. I wish I could improvise with people. :)
from artgnome :
oh my! the wonderful surprises life can somehow give us! nothing like jammin to perk your spirits and make you feel alive. I've been invited to a drumming group in the near future. It's been a long time since I've played too. I think it will be some good therapy.
from pennyjar :
That's COMFORT ZONE, with an "M". Derrrrr...
from pennyjar :
Weeeeee! I was feeling grungy and bleary-eyed, until I stopped by your site today! You have inspired me to step outside my confort zone and join the band!
from artgnome :
My kid and I are both very warm blooded too. I HATES the heat! You and Susi sound like you are having so much fun! that's sweet.
from enfinblue :
PS That's so cute - the feet thing! Awww...I want to do that. I think I might try that tonight. :) Yeah, I know, I'm weird. I think I just want to be a kid again so much!
from enfinblue :
I love all of those songs and bands! And I was confused - BLT was released at the end of 1986! And so I think it was my 1987 song. :( Oops! :)
from blighty :
oh what a beaut-i-ful dayyyyyy. Glad the sun is out and cheering your ever optomistic spirit. Try to not to smile TOO broadly at the marines...
from enfinblue :
I don't blame you for thinking that! :) Hope you slide through border checks...
from enfinblue :
See! See! If you scroll down to my comment you will see that I told you so! I told you that people might not have *gotten* it the first time but that things would start flowing. :) I'm happy for you.
from harri3tspy :
Hooray! I'm so glad this meeting went better, or at least felt better.
from blighty :
We screamed for joy on K's behalf when indeed the world feed came back JUST IN TIME on this side of the Atlantic to see Turkey's second goal and the winning German goal. In fact, G had just shouted at the television for the German players to stop messing about and press forward when they heard him and made a great pass to score. So much more fun to watch Euro 2008 without England there. But sorry, I want Russia to win...
from ladyloo :
I don't know why mt first reaction to stories like yours is embarrassment. I'm embarrassed when my home (country) doesn't put on it's best face for people from away, I guess. Otherwise, kudos on your self-possession. I would have been so frightened to be accosted like that!
from enfinblue :
Well I don't have M@tt D@mon's striking jaw line but...yes! That sounds lovely (Ottawa, Kingston, whatever). I can accommodate you. And don't feel badly if you don't have time for it. :)
from enfinblue :
Yay about the game! Montreal is also a good place to watch. I'm so sorry to hear about the women. Really, the best thing is to do as you did - turn around and not look her in the eye, ignore her. It is quite possible that she has an underlying mental illness that could have triggered her response to you. I was once pushed into traffic (the edge, anyhow), by a paranoid schitzophrenic. Not nice.
from enfinblue :
I just read your entry and couldn't agree more. :( Incidentally, I just heard that Pete S33ger is coming to Ottawa this summer. Maybe I'm confused but did you know this already? http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=00ceba86-969c-4d02-a187-6d462689d2b8
from enfinblue :
PS As in my g and m post, I over-dramatized in my entry today. I think that clearing my head of the bad thoughts in my diary works in centering me before I go out in the real world and REALLY screw something up by being overly emotional. Oh! And I REALLY thought that many of the single people on that forum were dreadful. How about the guy who doesn't date English Canadian women because they are "boring boring Boring!" Really, I think it is mostly true that 40 and single people are screwed up or too picky. Nevertheless I don't see any harm in taking one's time. :) Oh yeah, and of course I lied about not wanting children. But it seemed too difficult to explain that I only ever want to have a child if I end up with the most amazing spouse. If not, I will definitely consider adopting an older child. Who knows. I need to stop bungling everything...first. At this stage were I to have a child I'd probably drop it on its head and accidentally leave it somewhere when shopping. Really. :)
from enfinblue :
That's hysterical! I'm a little bit embarrassed as obviously I misrepresented myself (though not entirely). I just wanted to present a case that didn't make me seem like an emotional cesspool. And frankly, I do have many friends who are not married because they are uncomfortable with who they are at this point (both because of family histories and personality types). I think that this is a great reason to not be married! I was mostly ticked off when I read the article and it was late... :) It's true though - I'm a complete neurotic who isn't perfectly happy single. At the same time I doubt that I'd be perfectly happy married. It will take one odd duck to marry me. :) Incidentally, today was "the best of times and the worst of times." I both got a promotion and then royally screwed up something on the green shift. Funnily enough, each time I write "green shift" I want to write "green sh!t," even though I think it's a good proposal for the most part. (Not permitted to say this out loud - hope no one else recognizes my style :))
from artgnome :
I don't know if anyone will ever be able to fill those intelligent, philosophically funny shoes. I will miss George, too.
from harri3tspy :
Agreed! I was extremely sad to hear of Carlin's death this morning.
from enfinblue :
Oh T, you would have loved it - the other "reason" for women my age being single given by many is that apparently we are "closet lesbians." Yeah. :) To be honest, I'm really, really starting to feel good about being single and childless, as though it is the best choice for me. I'm getting excited about taking the time and space to pursue my long-desired artistic stuff. :) (PS You were lucky to have a blighty around to set you straight on the dating thing. :))
from enfinblue :
ANd PS Susi is still the cutest baby I've seen in a long time! :)
from harri3tspy :
Poor you! I'm sure it was not as bad as it seems right now. A few weeks from now it will probably be forgotten, at least by everyone else. The whole pumping thing depressed me beyond belief. It was one of the reasons I decided to go back to school instead of back to work. Nursing yes, pumping no. It made me feel like a cow.
from enfinblue :
Oh my goodness did I write your entry for you? You know, really, in reading your entry I could see myself of late. And honestly, the best reminder is that we are always our own worst critics. These people will probably not be thinking twice about your "performance," and very likely not in any negative light if they do. Also, the fact that they didn't understand what you were proposing right away doesn't mean that it a) wasn't a good idea; and b) won't turn up again in an altered form. Creativity and effort are both worthwhile. Be kind to yourself! You're a very intelligent woman so I have no doubt that you are more than good at wearing the many hats that you bravely choose to don!
from artgnome :
awww, what a HAPPY, healthy baby! and I like the new layout too!
from coldandgray :
Precious baby girl. I love brag time! We used our high chair as play toy from the get-go. It is very convenient if you need to clean or do paperwork. I wheel Finn into whatever room I am in and he stays occupied for a bit while I can get things done.
from harri3tspy :
I love those huge toothless grins! One of my favorite things about having a boy: NO DISNEY PRINCESSES!
from artgnome :
one of the biggest draws for me in wanting to move to manhattan is the idea of not having to own or drive a car. oh yeah!
from coldandgray :
You made it in (almost) one piece! Enjoy the family & I will wish you luck for the way back.
from enfinblue :
OK. That didn't come out right. Blame it on flight-lag. :) I meant that from the pictures she is a gorgeous baby!
from enfinblue :
PS Thanks for the laughs with that entry - honestly, poor you! So funny. But really, from what I've seen, Susi is a beautiful little *girl* baby. Honestly, it's interesting, but these days I see soooo many women pushing babies around who look quite a bit older than in their 30s, i.e. early 40s, say, that it's becoming normal. I'll admit that I do a double-take sometimes, but it's more and more typical, of course.
from enfinblue :
Thank you so much for your comforting words! I can imagine exactly how you feel. For me right now it is a little bit magnified perhaps as I feel as though I have DONE nothing with my life. I feel like a colossal failure, because I am never going to go back and reenter that world and excel in it. I have just wasted myself and ended up with nothing in particular on which to focus my energy and then succeed (I really can't include a career at Line Dance as a worthy point of focus :). At the same time, if I'm completely honest, I know that I did not finish really because it was a passive and very cowardly way to try to escape from something at which I will never be very good. I did not care enough, which was always my *nice* supervisor's theory. He beamed when I told him that I am planning on starting art study. His face literally beamed sunshine at me. He used to tell me that I was smart and talented at the analytical stuff, but that he had a theory that I just didn't care enough about research. A really, really, really nice man. Really a shame that he is deathly and distractingly attractive - very difficult not to develop a heartbreaking crush on such a (happily married) man. :)
from coldandgray :
Passport = YAY! Passport photo = DOH! Suzi = Prettiest girl baby EVER!
from blighty :
I particularly like the all-knowing look in her eyes as she is sitting there with her hands folded like a buddha. "Mother. Look at that silly picture of me, with Papa's hand stuffed up my shirt. I mean, really."
from ladyloo :
As a fellow bureaucracy battler, high kudos to you for getting your little one all legal-fied!
from enfinblue :
OK. That made me laugh so hard I almost cried. Very funny. And my goodness I hold to my earlier opinion that that is a beautiful baby. So lovely. In the passport photo she looks like one of Schultze's crew. ;-)
from harri3tspy :
She's just expressing her opinion of the bureaucracy.
from enfinblue :
I hope you will be kind to yourself. Don't worry about delays and paperwork - things are going well and they will continue to improve. I'm sorry that I'll miss out on meeting you next week in Funcouv, but I hope that you have a great and safe journey. :)
from enfinblue :
That's all so, so nice. Wow, K really reminds me a bit of me...and he's a Taurus on the cusp, non? ;) That's such a nice and thoughtful gift. I completely understand what you did for your friend. I think that it is a wonderful thing to do. And also very sensible to think of it as a loss. I don't know what I could do to help to get the cd publicized, but I would be happy to listen and to share with as many people as possible. Of course, the market here is so small that it would likely be best to send to those south of the border. Does she have a myspace page? A couple of tracks up on such a page would be a great idea. THAT everyone can publicize. :)
from artgnome :
I'm always up for new music to play in the studio, if it's well produced and done. rock and roll on, Susi! :)
from blighty :
Yay!!! What a great feeling to get the gift so right! Happy Birthday K! Sadly, I am still without the diamond and sapphire earrings. Perhaps i should just go ahead with the tiara instead.
from enfinblue :
Oh that's so sad about your friend. Could you not find him, perhaps through fellow students?
from enfinblue :
Thanks so much for sharing your memories!! I love hearing them. I really do understand where you are coming from - what a wonderful thing to have the freedom to experience these different places, scents, tastes, friendships. :)
from enfinblue :
Yeah, poor thing! I remember when my brother was teething. And, frankly, I remember when my own wisdom teeth came in. Not pretty. But I do love the swinging image. Swinging is so freeing. I do know what you mean about missing Europe. I am ACHING for it. I felt so...happy there so often. I will go back. In fact, I think I will go back for two weeks again this fall, if I can get the time. :) I DO hope that you get that villa! What a wonderful thing to do! I was saying exactly the same thing to myself the other day - that one day I will rent a villa and invite all of my friends. :) Oh! And I forgot to mention that I took your advice and bought three pretty scarves in Italy. And you're correct- I shouldn't complain about my hair. It's really about as good as it can get. I don't have your lovely thick, shiny hair. :)
from blighty :
OK, I just love giving more random advice...my kids' favorite teethers (although they had to be coordinated enough to hold them) were plastic (shock horror) jobbies that were kept in the fridge. Munch munch. Also, when it was so bad that they couldn't sleep, had bright red cheeks and diaper rash, I would give them some baby tylenol/paracetemol whatever before bedtime. poor things. Cutting teeth sucks.
from harri3tspy :
This was Andy's favorite teether: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2793385
from harri3tspy :
You have to be careful with grapes, though, because they're also a choking hazard. AJ loved plastic water-filled teethers. We had one shaped like an 8 with little nubs on the outside that was his definite favorite. If I can track down what it is somewhere, I'll send you a link. I would think metal might be a little too hard and too cold if it came in contact with actual teeth.
from elgan :
Grapes, both seedless red and green, kept in the fridge, are great teething soothers. Also, any toy filled with liquid that you can keep in the fridge (they must have them even at your local pharmacy) help. There's baby Orajel (I used that with my kids) and even whiskey rubbed onto the gums. It doesn't last long, but it's a tough time for baby and parents. Also, she might start biting on the nipple, which will determine how much longer she breastfeeds. Good luck.!
from coldandgray :
I wish i left you a note on your very first Mother's day. I thought it was a different day in Canada (like in England), not that that matters since you are not Canadian! Anyway, I hope you had a lovely first Mother's day with your beautiful daughter.
from enfinblue :
All very neat! I'm sure that you'll find a great exercise regime. :) And if you want any running tips...feel free to ask. :) Honestly, my strong (as usual) opinion is that you should get tough with those landlords of yours. They can't evict you whatever you do. They've truly imposed on you over and over again. Oh and PS I was being a dork about the Americans. different people have different styles when abroad, and the style of some Americans stands out a little bit. On my tour today it was the Canadian who lives in the U.S. who was annoying - but more on the other side of things with the stink of pretension. Oy. :) Honestly though, you've mentioned it before and I realize now how much the travelers' syndrome is getting to me. I miss being consistently among nomadic people. :( Take care and keep on enjoying the balanced life that you have developed.
from harri3tspy :
I'll have to tell AJ about Pangaea Day. He will be excited. He was very into Pangaea when they talked about it during the dinosaur unit earlier this year. He wanted me to print out a current map and cut out the continents so he could show me how they used to fit together.
from enfinblue :
I love the last picture. That is so sweet. Just lovely. And the quilt from her oma - So beautiful. I remember that when I was running and working full time I wasted...no time. As they say, if you want something done you must give it to a busy person. :) Take care!
from blighty :
So cute! And just like her mom, getting organized early. Mary sounds like a dream come true. I miss you all (well not Mary).
from ladyloo :
Oh my god! Have mercy on my uterus!
from artgnome :
She is so lovely and happy and thriving! yay for you and K for doing such a great job. It's that three month mark where you feel you are adjusting. Soon, you will not remember what life was like without her. :)
from coldandgray :
I can't get over how beautiful she is. I actually got weepy on that last photo because it made me recall that Finn's arms were once that short.
from harri3tspy :
Such a beautiful little one! And it's so fun for me to see AJ's former things. I'm going to have to show him this post and see if he recognizes any of them from his baby pictures.
from artgnome :
When I was a single, overwhelmed mom with a new baby that would not sleep, ANYONE helping in any way possible was a welcome relief. She needs to know that she has friends and that her friends care. From my viewpoint, anyway.
from coldandgray :
I am excited for you about Mary. It always makes me feel better to hear of these happy child care solutions.
from swimmmer72 :
I don't know about other people, AND, I'm not even close to sedentary, BUT, I think the computer just adds another layer to "home/useless multi-tasking" because I usually have the computer and TV on at the same time and don't pay attention to either one while I'm bopping around working on my endless projects. Again, you make good points! :)
from swimmmer72 :
Thank you for the comment! I agree with everything that you say. I, too, have been able to maintain connection that otherwise would have slipped away. My only issue is how it seems to get in the way of meeting or developing relationships in my day to day life. It's easy to ignore the actual people in my life when I have the computer to fall back on at the end of the day. Anyway, thanks again for the comment! :)
from enfinblue :
Thank you, my friend. I will try that. I have to run now. Honestly, I feel a bit like I want to cry. I have such a hard time being myself when I am nervous!
from enfinblue :
THANKS! The problem is that I'm not cool. I can't chill! It's my fatal affliction.
from enfinblue :
Good tip on the scarves! I was thinking about that - thanks! Yes, Fifi mentioned the other night a singing event at which a group of bikers joined in. It immediately reminded me of that photo. :) We had asked one of his friends to take the photo of us at the lookout, as they were the only people parked up there.
from enfinblue :
Hmm...I'm not sure about the other side of the heel. I hope that you find an answer easily! I really do think that the email was likely kindly meant. :) And of COURSE I am going to leave space in my suitcase. :) I'm going to be good but maybe one pretty dress could be selected!
from enfinblue :
OK I laughed out loud at the BS music. Hysterical. Sorry! Sounds very good, all around. And yes, that colleague's email I'm sure was kindly meant. Email is such a weird way to communicate. About the heel...interesting. If it's on the inner part it sounds to me as though something related to your plantar fasciia. There might be some inner, pulling at the bone that the tissue around is protecting. This would be consistent with the flexing. People who spend a lot of time on their feet often get this, and given that you had swollen ankles and were carrying a baby recently, it wouldn't surprise me if you pulled this tissue. But then again, I have no idea! Good luck with it though. What you probably need is a good physio appointment. I'd book a doctor who at least knows something about sports injuries - they're good with feet - and he or she will get you into a decent physio, which is covered. I remember a really lovely South Afr!can lady sports doctor in Func., and I think her name was Jennifer Rob!nson. Can't remember her office location. East. Not as far East as you I think but East from downtown.
from teachin-usa :
I've had to recover from a massage before too! Ouch! Also, I would also suggest yiu take advantage of any leave you have coming to you- I have a friend who is an MD- just had her first wee one and I suggested the same to her. If it's coming from someone who has a kid already I think you should take it as supportive.
from enfinblue :
I'm with you on the hating to pee with other people around! I actually get disappointed when one of my colleagues comes into the washroom at the same time as me at work. (Well, also because then I have to make small talk with them whilst peeing, which is the worst thing ever!) Glad that you had a good time. I'm sure that bandy appreciates the degree to which you accomodate his preferences! (Also - no tail...kind of funny! ;))
from artgnome :
Bandy must not be too comfortable with "feelng words" either. I can be that way. I sometimes bitch too much about those I feel the closest to. I guess with all my abandonment issues, that comes from. Afraid to get too attached.
from coldandgray :
I clicked on your brag gallery link and my breath was instantly taken away. Oh, T, she is so beautiful!
from ladyloo :
I spent last week dealing with immigration. You have my sincerest sympathies for your plight.
from blighty :
I just thought of something else. (oh your baby is completely adorable, and look at her holding her head up) ok the voice in my head went up really high as I typed that last sentence). anyway. if in the fullness of time, Susi has a sibling, rest assured that at least one of the embassy requirements will have changed. that is when the comedy factor really kicks in. ha ha ha.
from pennyjar :
Please. My ovaries are trying to shut down. Pictures of ridiculously beautiful baby are not helping. She's so sweet!
from harri3tspy :
So cute! I'm especially fond of the happy turtle picture!
from blighty :
oh.my.god. I just read about first attempt at us embassy. I can't remember the whole lived in the US being a problem pre-9.11. Maybe it was, and I've just repressed the whole thing. Happily, when you have a baby in the UK, the registry office GIVES you a Long Form Birth Certificate and these words are written in large letters on the top. I did totally forget the stupid special delivery paid up to 500g return envelope. But only ONCE. I am now attempting to get an appointment at the fine us embassy in London for Nicole on one of three possible afternoons...
from enfinblue :
Oh my lord I just saw that you'd posted. What a GORGEOUS baby. I know that one is not supposed to go on and on about looks and so on...but really how adorable!
from enfinblue :
Tricky one. I mean, if I were in your shoes I would certainly be inclined to get her the citizenship now. I wonder how difficult it would be to do this later in life? (Musing. I have no idea. Perhaps blighty did this later with her kids?) I wish you guys the best of luck with this. OH and when I meant costs I meant the sort of time costs and fatigue costs and so on, and didn't mean to seem insensitive. Often, it's best not to think about the money, non? (Though don't tell the line dance minister that I said this, huh? ;))
from enfinblue :
It was, if extremely creepy at the same time. It's never nice to have an old man who smells not as great as he could leaning into you at all times. I found myself holding my breath. I do love the music though. Wonder what it is about economists and Schubert.:) My dear, I read your entry of yesterday and I could not believe the intricacies of it all. I suppose that I can understand the regulation, but still. I started thinking - as I'm sure did K - that costing all of the trials that you have experienced into your decision to move to Funcouver...makes the calculation look kinda different? :) Have a great weekend!
from enfinblue :
And PS your former colleague sounds brilliant. Enjoy your little girl whilst she is little! :)
from enfinblue :
Thanks! I figure that at least it's one fewer dumb guy in the world that I have to go through before I find a decent one (although they seem to keep on cloning themselves or something ;).
from coldandgray :
You still have the nice weather? We had one perfect day on Sat & then the tempts plummeted again. Back to cold and gray.
from elgan :
Me, too. My mother and my mother-in-law are Bb, and so am I. Both my kids ended up with blue-grey eyes, a gift from their father and mine.
from artgnome :
You have such lovely memories and the privilege of living in more than one place. I cannot wait to see my seasons from Manhattan! some day...
from ladyloo :
Lucky Days is one of the available public calenders on Google. Frankly though, I forget how I got it on there.
from enfinblue :
Oh I forgot - good Joni line.
from enfinblue :
Delightful, delightful entry. I needed a jolt from intelligent material. Loved the origami story. Oh and excellent news about the taxes!
from enfinblue :
Have fun in Whistler! No worries about June. I'll be very busy anyhow - was worried about how and when we would meet up. In the future!
from coldandgray :
All the baby "stuff" boggles the mind. We went from zero to 60 over night.
from enfinblue :
No matter the complexity I still advocate hand calculations. ;) Just kidding. So sorry that you do not have sun. That really is a horrible thing. It will get better though, as you know. You know, I must say that I nearly fell out of bed this morning when I heard on the radio that Ottawa gets the most winter sun of any city in Canada. I'm not sure if this is true but my goodness I finally found SOME reason to live here other than that I will eventually be earning a higher return to my education than I deserve. :)
from coldandgray :
Sorry you are not feeling well (and poor Suzi got sick!). Yes, the weather has been a huge drip. I am a winter girl, but dude, I am so ready for SPRING!
from ladyloo :
Your landlords are certifiable.
from artgnome :
sorry you all are sick. In my neck of New York, everyone is happy, happy because spring is finally bringing some warm comfortable weather and sun. No complaining here. :)
from enfinblue :
Oh good grief I hope you are able to move! I'll help, if you like. :) Just make it the first week of June. Oh wait, that's definitely too soon. :) I've always done my taxes by hand. I remain convinced that this is the best way, except if you are pension income splitting and living in Quebec. But it seems that you have come to a nice equilibrium solution and so stick with that one! :) For my part I think that everyone likes to complain - it's not just a NY thing. I complain all the time, though I wish I didn't. Gee, I'm rather opinionated, today. One last thing: I'd say hold on giving the books away. It's like cutting your hair off when you're pregnant - never make any rash decisions when you're laden somehow. I think I know that book on salt. Interesting. And the more books the better - that way you have lots of things to rearrange in future. ;)
from elgan :
I have never used a software program for my taxes, always filling out the booklet. In that case, I figure they can find my mistakes, and they usually do.
from blighty :
Well Happy Anniversary. I'm sure you will like that the fact that as my children are attempting to fool me on April 1 all I can think of is "Hmmm, must be YOUR anniversary." Also most impressed with chunky susi.
from harri3tspy :
Happy Anniversary!
from elgan :
Happy Anniversary!
from enfinblue :
You know, you've given me something to think about! (And wow are C and K ever similar on the surface! A total non-fiction dude. Although C. lacks the computing power... :)) I think that for me the bad taste would be a dealbreaker in the beginning. That tells me something horrible about myself. But later on, no - I don't think I'd care what he read. Oh who am I kidding. I'm the original freaky perfectionist person! No one is ever going to make sense to me. :) Not a good revelation...Hmm...PS Susi sounds like such a sweetie. I do know someone who teaches at Mountain U and who has had a child in daycare there and who has been very happy. Never fear!
from harri3tspy :
My initial reaction was no, it doesn't matter. Mr. Spy and I do not often read the same books. But then I realized that it does matter that I respect his taste in literature because I want to respect him. That doesn't mean he's never allowed to read a trashy book (although I can't quite imagine he would). But if that were all he read, I imagine we'd have a problem.
from dcalienz :
I like Rush Limbaugh. Then again who asked me?
from dcalienz :
I like Rush Limbaugh. Then again who asked me?
from artgnome :
The first initial separations are hard, but she is being left in good hands, and the sooner you both do this, the easier it is for both of you as Susi gets older.
from harri3tspy :
I remember that moment so well. Everyone's different, so I can't speak for you. But for me, I found that I was desperately sad about leaving AJ and just as desperate for something to do that involved my brain and contact with intelligent adults. Ultimately, I decided to finish my degree instead of going back to work (I had to quit my job to get maternity leave, so I was looking for a new job). But that really wasn't all about AJ. It was more about having second thoughts about the career path I was on and a little bit about child care problems. But here's the thing I really wanted to say. It is harder than hard to make the decision to walk away from him, even just for an hour or two or a day or two. But if you're at all like me, once you get where you're going with that free time, you will get very engaged. I found that I actually forgot about the baby for a few minutes and then felt horribly guilty. But at the same time, in that instant I knew that it was possible for both me and AJ for me to work away from him and we'd all be okay. Maybe do a trial run before you hire someone outright -- spend a day away and see how you feel. You might feel better about the whole thing. Finding childcare is terrifying, I think. It's a leap of faith the likes of which I haven't yet encountered in my cushy middle class life. But there's a lot of good situations to be had. Good luck!
from artgnome :
We also had the snow. I listened to John Denver and drove along the lake to work. I'm sorry for your friend Joe's loss.
from enfinblue :
Oh poor Joe! I love JT, too. Just this last weekend, my friend Marion and I listened to his greatest hits FOUR times. I could sing every word of that album in my sleep. I went to see him in concert, actually, and it was pretty cool as it was in Ottawa in 1997 in the football stadium near our then house, outdoors, in the summer. A very mellow crowd. Incidentally, the activities of yesterday sounded very productive! It's great that you're getting out and about.
from enfinblue :
PPS I should have not mentioned the blood and instead gone with K's theory. :)
from enfinblue :
Oh yeah, I forgot to say, as did someone else, yesterday: very enjoyable to hear about Susi. I'm currently quite fascinated by child development, given recent exposure to babies for the first time in a long while. I was just thinking re. the single mother comment, too, that I can understand now why my mother relied so heavily on me to take care of my ten years younger brother. My dad was ill and I was happy to babysit and walk and change the brother so that my mom could do other things. When I was in high school my mom returned to night school and so on, enabled by the fact that I was home to babysit (father then gone). I guess you've helped me to see my role in a new light. :) Plus, my little brother Geoff is a doll. I guess in a way I don't need to have children myself, given that I've participated a little bit already. Thanks for help in reaching these insights! :) Ah PS, before I go...with the humungous tainted blood scandal that took place in Canada a few years ago, I can totally guess why rules, rules, rules now rule in other bodily fluid donation.
from enfinblue :
Ha ha. Word to blighty. That cracked me up. It really is too bad about the milk. I remember being questioned myself at one point about having spent time in Europe, though I can't remember what for. For sure it had something to do with BSE. Weird. :( Oh yeah, thanks for appreciating my rants. I definitely get some enjoyment out of them.
from elgan :
You have an overabundance of milk because you are expressing the leftover. Stop doing that. Just let Susi nurse as much as she needs to and you will stop producing so much. Seriously. Your breasts work on the supply and demand principle. The more is demanded of them, they more they will supply. If Susi needs more, she will insist on nursing more frequently, and your supply will go up. Otherwise, don't worry about it.
from coldandgray :
I meant to tell you how awesome I think you are for seeking out a way to donate your milk; now I am saddend that it is not to be. Such a waste of natures best stuff.
from blighty :
What a shame about the milk bank. But then again, no other Canadian bank wants your business, so you really shouldn't be surprised. Imagine if they found out that some of the milk could possibly be tainted by someone who lives in the UK!!! Heaven help us.
from artgnome :
Being a single mom with a deranged ex is hell on earth, let me tell you, and not for the faint of heart. I have had very little help. It's too bad there is no way they can screen the milk so they can still use it. What a waste! Then again, our governments waste more than we ever will, then go out of their way to chide us about waste. hmph.
from enfinblue :
How kind of you to be so honest! I'm sure that things will get more and more delightful in time - I'm actually quite envious of people with little girls and boys who are talking and engaged with things. I think that parenthood prior to the teen years would be quite fun. :) Hope your Easter was good, too, and that your accountant is sharp.
from elgan :
My daughter also loved her changing pad, something we got from the Sears catalogue. She seemed to be happiest there. I think the startle response is called the Moreau response, or something like that. We never quite lose it. When you have dreams of falling and jerk awake, you are actually having one.
from coldandgray :
I love Susi posts! The tadpole easter outfit sounds cuter than cute, as does the baby seal! I have not filled in one word in the baby book, but Finn has his own website, too! Ah, 21st century babies!
from harri3tspy :
Oops. I posted this on my own notes site by accident. I am out of practice with this diaryland business! The whole Baby Einstein industry creeps me out. But the fact is that some of their stuff works. We liked the Baby Bach video especially. But AJ really loved some of the more art oriented ones when he was a little older -- Baby Van Gogh was a particular favorite. The thing I think is most interesting is that because of Baby Bach, Bach and Mozart is music he thinks of as his music, not as our music that we force on him. He still is more inclined to put on Walk Like an Egyptian and dance like a maniac, but he has a sense of ownership about that music that he learned early that I hope will stick with him.
from ladyloo :
Man, I found those videos mesmerizing when my nieces were watching them. I bought a set for them, but my in-laws were not at all excited about their babies learning Hebrew and Spanish from the language video. Ahhh, backwoods Alabamians.
from harri3tspy :
Those videos always freaked me out too and we didn't do a particularly large amount of video watching when AJ was little, but AJ LOVED them. He still identifies Bach every time he hears it on the radio by saying, "That sounds like B@by E1nst31n music." And although he hasn't watched those videos in years, any time he hears one of the pieces (in its non-electronic form), he can identify the video it was in and which toys were part of the visual. I find it amazing.
from enfinblue :
And by the way, I was joking about the UCCB. Ugh. Conservatives.
from drgeek :
Having just bought a house six months ago, I know that the mortgage and budgeting process looks downright terrifying. I have no idea what the real estate market is like up in Funcouver, but I can tell you that I spoke not long ago to one of my in-laws who is real estate professional in a major metropolitan area just south of the border from you. We both agreed that "now is a good time to buy, if you can qualify". Would I want to buy in some housing development an hour plus away from anything resembling the urban center, on the edge of the "sprawl"? No. Housing there is governed by two things -- the cost of the land and how much the developers can hype it. Mrs. Geek and I happened to buy in the middle of everything, so our house is smaller ("intimate" is the word Mrs. Geek uses when the walls start squeezing her), but our commute is short... and the median price of house sales in our county has only dropped about seven percent over this time last year. That's because we live in a location where people always want to live, and prices are holding... heck they're even rising slightly in the real urban epicenters near us. We live in rather curious times right now here in the States... property prices and long term interest rates are both falling... which doesn't happen all that often.
from enfinblue :
It all depends on your discount rate, I guess. ;) To be honest, it sounds like what you most need to do is to sit down and assign some probabilities, do an honest assessment of where you want to be living in 5, 10 years. Alternately, a good financial planner might be able to give you some practical guidance. Perhaps you can find one through word of mouth? I have never had any trouble with either the speed or efficiency of my bank, even when I moved abroad and came back and so on. When I moved to Washington I had a heap of trouble, with a bank draft that had to be cleared in NYC and then that disappeared and reappeared eventually... although that was ages ago. :) Perhaps B.C. has some peculiarly bad branches. Who knows. Soon you'll be getting your Univ3rsal Child Care Benefit and you should also benefit from the Child Care Exp3nse Deduction. It's not all gloom and doom. :)
from elgan :
We never did the RESP thing for our kids. Instead we bought GIC's for them. When they reached age 18, we just handed them over and said, "You look after them now." You don't get a tax break on it, but then, once it's deregistered, you have to pay the tax that was withheld, so you're not really saving anything (well you are, because Susi would pay tax at a lower rate presumably). But anyway. That's what we did.
from artgnome :
We all want more. It's human nature. I has to have me some goals, or I go nuts. Goals are good. :)
from coldandgray :
I just need about $375,000 and I am good.
from coldandgray :
Yea! Good baby! We have a good sleeper, too. In fact he now sleeps though the night in his own room! Aren't the VAX the worst? One minute he is all happy smiles and the next he has a look of WTF and a sad cry erupts that shatters my heart and soul.
from harri3tspy :
I don't know whether your pediatrician lets you nurse while she's getting her shots, but I used to do that with AJ and he didn't cry at all. In any case, I am always more of a wreck than AJ is!
from ladyloo :
Strong work on the paperwork! If my folks had been on top of things I would have had Dutch & Canadian citizenship. But, no such luck.
from coldandgray :
Good for you for getting Susi all set up in # countries, that is so cool. As for Finn's passport, we were thinking of just trying to use Sasha's baby passport photo, but don't want to get in trouble!
from enfinblue :
Yeah, you know, in spite of the paperwork and odd naming law, all I was thinking as I read that was, "Lucky girl! She has citizenship in three major markets! And parents who are going to set up education investment funds for her from birth!" :)
from coldandgray :
I thought I would die before I ever coochiecooed a baby, but I will do anything to make Finn laugh even if it calls for a little baby talk. I feel the same way about my friend who had kids before me, I wish I had done more to help her. Now we know.
from enfinblue :
You know, I was thinking of you as I wrote that entry. I was quite amused when I read what you wrote the other day about most people having "a thing" that they generally write about. It's like I've been writing about the same thing for years...Oh wait! I *have* been writing about the same thing for years. Alan Rickman is divine. I wonder what it is about him that makes so many women swoon? :) Hope you had a lovely day trip.
from enfinblue :
Awww...It's always tough when a friend leaves. :( Enjoy tomorrow!
from enfinblue :
How EXCITING about the students/group! It must be a nice feeling to have this to look forward to when you return to work. Above all else though I think you should not worry about being good enough at your job. On this one I'm speaking from experience - lots of wasted energy. :) I have no idea but I imagine, too, thta you'll be appreciably more mobile in a very short period of time. Plus the dry Vancouver spring/summer is coming! You'll be out of doors, windows will be open, flowers will be blooming! :)
from artgnome :
I know. It's a whole new life with a whole new person being part of it. so happy for you even though I miss your notes! xo
from enfinblue :
Hey, how cool! I do so love that movie. I watched it last night. Kind of obsessive am I! How nice to have such a wonderful friend visiting! Incidentally, I just today got my approval to go to the conference. The senior economist started to discuss with me the booking of our hotel. (For some god-knows-what reason he wants us to stay at the same one. I politely suggested that I want to stay in another area, though still downtown. :)) Glad to hear that little Susi is doing well and enjoying blighty's visit.
from harri3tspy :
I, for one, am relieved to know that you will not be picking up your baby by the head or burying her in groceries in a shopping cart. Although I have to say my favorite thing about that is the look on the face of the baby playing chess.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks for the Pete Seeger alert. I hadn't heard about that. He was a pretty meaningful part of my childhood and has crept into my adult working life through his relationship to assorted other musicans and ethnomusicologists (Ruth Crawford Seeger, Charles Seeger, Tony Seeger, et al). I'll have to check this out!
from harri3tspy :
In case you don't read dooce and you need a little levity in your day, here are some instructions for taking care of your baby: http://www.makememinimal.com/2008/instrucciones-para-cuidar-un-bebe/
from coldandgray :
I can relate to 92% of this post and suddenly feel very, very tired & suddenly very, very thankful that Finn is passed that crazy feeding cycle and is now sleeping through the night. It does get easier, T, I promise. you are doing awesome!
from artgnome :
It's all crazy and complicated and messy and beautiful all at the same time. What a ride, eh? peace and love and thank you for your encouraging and supportive notes!
from enfinblue :
I should have said continued good luck rather than bon courage. You seem to be doing so well - I can't imagine navigating all elements of parenting to be easy for anyone at all. :)
from enfinblue :
Oh no, nothing has really happened. The poet scientist and his girlfriend are taking a break to "reassess," and he has putting quite a bit of energy into flirting with me. I'm not comfortable with it, and won't do anything about it, even though I do enjoy his company and even occasionally feel an attraction myself... I'm so glad to hear that you're settling into some comfortable routines and enjoying Susi. Bon courage! Enjoy! (And yes, I will remain, faithfully, a fruitcake economist. :)) Incidentally, it seems likely that I will be in Vancouver for the Can Econ Assoc meetings June 6-7 and so if you happen to be around and have time for a coffee at that time it would be lovely to meet you!
from elgan :
Nice entry. It's a one-day-at-a-time process. You're already over one of the hardest humps.
from coldandgray :
Enjoy enjoy enjoy. It goes so bloody fast. We often marvel how we have yet to damage our baby in some way. There's still time.
from enfinblue :
AW! So happy for you that things are coming around. Long live coffee! Take care. :)
from artgnome :
cherish the days, she is going to grow sooo fast! It's definitely a mixed bag of emotions. You are more tired than you ever will be, but a fresh baby is sooo amazing! xo
from elgan :
Yeah, speaking of shriveled and dried up ovaries... But besides that, this doesn't last forever, believe me. And when it's all over, like years from now, you'll wish it had. *sigh*
from ladyloo :
Wow. The image at the end there almost made my shriveled and dried up ovaries wince. You sound so happy.
from fifidellabon :
I've been meaning to tell you congratulations, and OH! is Susi ever the cutest baby!!! Continued best of everything to you!/Fifi
from artgnome :
You are going to be and expert mommy on your own before you know it! :)
from bitterwineuk :
Awwwww, it is very true. I lived with my mum when I had my baby but she took 1 week off work when he was born to be there if I needed anything. It's surprising how much an extra person can do, not just physically but as emotional support. The place felt empty when she was back at work. I am glad Susi is doing so well.
from elgan :
...and she misses you too.
from enfinblue :
You know, I've discovered myself that I should never take the advice of doctors too literally. In my running years they were almost always wrong, at least in part. I always eventually found my way on my own by listening to my own body and making adjustments that felt right to me. I don't know anything about babies, obviously, but it seems to me that you are a strong and sensible lady and will find the right way for you and Susi. Thinking of you and wishing little Susi the most excellent of haelth.
from reader1209 :
Also...not a good idea to go on vacation and leave the baby home alone...I'm just sayin'. It sounds to me like you and Susi are doing fine. Doctors tend to follow charts and expections a little too closely, I think. And they don't take into consideration the differences that each baby and family have. Silly, doctors.
from elgan :
Good news. Yay! All babies are different. One experience does not dictate the next. And you are right, there are those much worse off. I'm glad things are going better.
from enfinblue :
Yay! I'm so relieved for you. :)
from artgnome :
I had a friend who had a TINY baby girl that took quite awhile to get the hang of nursing, so this sounds familiar. She is a very healthy and beautiful teenage girl now, she is! :)
from harri3tspy :
I agree that "failure to thrive" needs to be eliminated from the vocabulary. I'm sorry you've been struggling, but you are far from alone out there! I'm glad Susi's doing better now and I hope you are too. Pumping was my least favorite thing about motherhood. But you do what you've got to do. The captions were hilarious -- I laughed particularly hard at number 3.
from enfinblue :
...remember, we still call immigrating "landing" here. :) By the way, your captions were hysterical - your sense of humour when under stress is a great gift!
from enfinblue :
You know, I would just think of it in the context of the period in which the term originated, if that helps. It's an OLD term. You know, back in the periods in which anyone with any difference of any kind was assigned some unpleasant moniker. This must have been a very tough experience, for you - I'm sorry. My understanding is that many, many people have different issues in breastfeeding their kids so it's quite normal. My mom was unable to breastfeed any of us, and I can't remember why. Anyhow. Wonderful that you have figured out what is going on and that she is doing well and gaining weight again!
from coldandgray :
'Failure to Thrive' needs to be renamed for sure, that sounds too scary. As for the photo: HOLY HELL! I love the look on her face. Since Finn was born early, he too lacked the strength to suckle, so we did the pumping routine, but he had to be tube fed for the first 3 weeks before working up to the bottle. She will get the hang of it. Meanwhile: pump pump pump, woman! You are a hero!
from elgan :
Persevere! It's so worth it.
from coldandgray :
SUSI! I am so happy for you and your family. I cannot believe I am so late in getting the news. I just shot up like a rocket realizing I better check and see if you had her and you did it right on schedule. YAY! K's entry was so sweet. I hope you write the birth story and post that pics of yer boobs! Huge congrats and best of luck with your beautiful little daughter.
from blighty :
Too, too funny.Although attempting to drown your infant in fountains and falls of breastmilk is a time honored tradition, the little tykes can swim. Happy 10 day birthday, Susi.
from dandlioneyes :
Congratulations to you three! She is stunning and sweet and I know she'll be bilingual in a split second!
from enfinblue :
Mrs. Knut?: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/01/080118-AP-germany-pol.html
from blighty :
Beautiful, beautiful baby. Who made her? Hello. Have you seen her eyes? Cheeks? Methinks that, like her cousin, she will look like a stray. not. I think babies cry because they can't say "I love you" yet. Or "I'm hungry" or "pick me up dammit."
from reader1209 :
Oh my gosh...some bestie I am..I turn away for two seconds and you have a baby...a beautiful, gorgeous baby. Congratulations! A thousand times congratulations!
from ladyloo :
Oh what a time for my computer to break! Congratulations ternaika!!! Susi looks beautiful!
from artgnome :
I had a cryer too. I had to swaddle him and hold him tight and we drove around in the car a lot. Some people use the vibration of the washing machine. heh.
from harri3tspy :
Oh, what a nice surprise to find this post when I logged on tonight! Congratulations to all of you! Have a wonderful time!
from essaywriter :
Isn't she lovely... congratulations to you both!
from fifidellabon :
Congratulations! How wonderful! /Fifi
from elgan :
Welcome, Susi! And we'll be careful not to sing "Wake up, Little Susie" for fear she thinks we mean her. Well done, both of you. All K's fears are completely founded, and totally irrelevant. I'm so happy for both of you.
from enfinblue :
Congratulations and thank you for sharing that touching explanation of the experience. She's beautiful!
from artgnome :
OH MY, she is just perfectly BEAUTIFUL!!! Thank you for the picture, K, and the wonderful entry. Many blessings to you all and your newly expanded family! xo juni
from enfinblue :
I can just imagine how you feel! I felt uncomfortable enough with smoked meat in my belly yesterday. :) It's funny about the apparent similarities between C. and K. C. can occasionally be silly like a kid, too, though never in public. I'm constantly trying to loosen him up ("friendly" him, in my words).
from drgeek :
Great red phone! We have a black PB Grand "vintage" phone that Mrs. Geek got on sale at Pottery Barn. It's not sitting in its own niche; we inherited a "phone table and chair" (an early-to-mid 20th century home furnishing if there ever was one) that we plan to use for its original purpose. And as for discussing the organizing, etc... I find that settling in somewhere new can bring these things to the front of a person's mind. I think we'd all be a little concerned if you spent a lot of time listing how you've organized your books and tchotchkies on the shelves in the back upstairs bedroom for the fifth time in six months. Speaking as someone who is also trying to settle into a new home, there's just a lot organize... and sometimes lists to say it.
from reader1209 :
omg...our house has one of those little cubby's too. And ours has a phne jack in there. too funny... As far as your claw foot tub rant...I'm gonna have to disagree with you. I want one of those so bad I can taste it. So there you have it. We've had our first diagreements...the drug dealer thing from my side and the clawfoot tub thing from yours...we can be besties now that THAT'S out of the way.
from enfinblue :
If it's close to the front door (or could have been an external hallway at some point), it looks to me like a milk box. :)
from enfinblue :
Incidentally, how close to the front door is the little wooden phone square?
from enfinblue :
Will do! Could be that the door was a dumb waiter door. Very neat. LOVE the phone. I generally like those old rotary dial phones. TOo bad you can't put anyone interesting on speed dial.
from harri3tspy :
The phone is so glamorous! I love claw foot tubs myself, but they are hell to bath kids in until they can climb out on their own. Babies are okay, though. They fit in the kitchen sink.
from elgan :
Wow, I love our claw-foot tub. I can stretch out in it to bathe (it's just the right length for me) and I had no problem at all bathing children in it. There was always lots of splashing room. For very small babies, of course, you have to use a plastic bathtub in the tub, but still. I don't get it.
from blighty :
Love the Red Phone! I think I've seen those types of phones, but of course, we don't have the baptism font in our hallway anymore, so no place for a cool retro phone. By the way, much to G's horror, I used to bathe the infant Ben in the bathroom sink, moving to the kitchen sink when he got bigger. slippery little buggers, and I wasn't too sure about how far I'd have to lunge into the bathtub to keep hold of him. By the time Nicole came around, G was a total sink convert. Even when she was older, she used to stand in the sink and have a little shower. Hilarious.
from ladyloo :
It was totally raining in Bath when I was there!
from enfinblue :
That's so funny! I watched part of Persu@sion last night! And then I fell asleep! (Good homework assignment, by the way. :) Will do. Thanks!)
from enfinblue :
Excellent that you are moving on to better science! And for sure you need to cut yourself loads of slack at the moment - I can't imagine how emotional I would be were I in your shoes (the ones you can still fit into ;-)).
from enfinblue :
Sounds like better women got to you first, but I'd like to add that I believe that the core of success is always passion. The sweat and toil are what will get you where you want to be, but it's the passion that supports the consistent, hard work. (I'm thinking about running vs. economics in my own life, of course.) It sounds as though you have a passion for science. That's unlikely to leave with baby. And if it does, for some reason, you won't miss it. You'll have moved on. More likely as not, you'll come back refreshed, focused, and strong. And it definitely sounds like the project exclusion is probably for the best, anyhow. When things like this happen to me I always try to ask myself whether I'm upset because I'm upset about the thing, or whether it's an ego thing. (For me, usually, it's an ego thing. Maybe not for you.)
from elgan :
I also want to mail you a package for your wee one. Can you email me your address? Please?
from ladyloo :
I'm glad to read you're doing better. My sister has been doing field research for the last 3 years. Her last trip up to Inuvik (sp?) was in August. Which is why she decided to get pregnant ASAP. I kind of think she's a little bit crazy.
from harri3tspy :
Hooray for sensible colleagues. I was in a different situation when I was pregnant with AJ. The pregnancy provided a useful excuse to leave a job I was ready to exit and having a small baby gave me time to figure out what to do next. But I still felt torn about staying home with baby, desperate to be there and also guilty about it for a while. Then I started going on job interviews and found that while it was hard to walk out the door, it was much easier than expected to be gone for a while. Necessary, in fact, for my brain. I still feel like things have passed me by, but I also feel like it was a choice I made and yes, it clarified my desire to be back in the thick of things.
from blighty :
Even closer to Ben's heart than the Hoover was the Angle, a plastic green triangle that he actually slept with. Hurt like hell when I stepped on it. My kid has to have a hard toy with sharp angles. yeah. Nicole has Chickie, and Sam still has Tom, the dog. In fact, the last time we drove to Devon, Tom and Chickie got married...
from elgan :
My daughter went the blankie route. My son's affection was for "bayboos", which were freshly laundered flannelette cloth diapers or receiving blankets. I think he became attached to them because I would stretch one across his bed where his head lay to catch drool and other oral deposits. The beauty with them was that any one would do, he wasn't attached to one in particular, as my daughter was with her blankie.
from harri3tspy :
One of these days I'm going to post a picture of AJ's holey blankie, which he still sniffs in times of stress and exhaustion and sleeps with every night. He's gotten a little too embarrassed to carry it around with him all the time the way he used to. And it's funny -- I almost sent you a lovie just like that. AJ had one that he never quite took to. I remember carrying it around though, because I thought it was so cute and I wanted him to like it. But then I saw it had a ribbon on it that said "The Year 2000" (we must have received it the Christmas before he was born) and so I didn't. Oh and thanks for the check, which I finally cashed a couple of days ago. Postage was, as you said, shocking. It's cheaper to mail things to my brother in Thailand -- significantly cheaper. Now that makes no sense at all.
from artgnome :
My son had quite an affair of affection for the spatula for awhile, and carried "dypies" everywhere. They were the cheap cloth diapers that never worked on his bum that became easy to replace and clean security blankies. hah.
from harri3tspy :
Yikes. What timing!
from enfinblue :
That's what you get for thinking you should "be doing something." :) Hmm...If I had to bet money I would guess that the deadline will be extended (assuming that you weren't the only one surprised by this "last call." Not that that helps you much as...then there will be baby. Good luck! Enjoy the stimulation! Hopefully you'll find great collaborators.
from ladyloo :
Are you doing anything with the International Polar Year (I think it's called)? My sister is apparently doing something with out out at UVIc.
from elgan :
When I rode the subway to and from work in my legal secretary days (1976-78), I used to knit. I remember one guy sitting down next to me and saying: If I bought you a ton of steel wool, could you knit me a car?
from ladyloo :
Sounds like y'all have been doing a hell of a lot!
from enfinblue :
Artgnome had my exact thought. :) I was also thinking, "gestating!" But then that's obvious. Good grief I would change places with you for a day or two...but I wouldn't wish my job on anyone. :)
from artgnome :
oh my dear friend, you will be doing "something" soon enough. Get plenty of sleep and rest!
from enfinblue :
:) People with economics training are so lovable and charming, non? C. actually said to me on the phone this morning - and this is something coming from him - that he didn't "have time right now for my rationalization (of this and that)." ;) Mmm...French toast. I'll have to ask C. about arme ritter. The French call it "lost bread" I believe, which is also kind of good imagery. :)
from enfinblue :
Very interesting! It's perfectly reasonable to pay for the mental freedom that you must feel in being able to *choose anew* each time that you go to a class. As K. will tell you, it's psychic cost minimizing/utility maximizing behaviour. ;) Or not. I can't believe that I'm telling you this. It drives me nuts when people talk to me about my utility. It makes me want to be intentionally irrational...which of course is another kind of optimizing behaviour. Sigh. I'm a fool. :)
from harri3tspy :
I am finding that the US DNC list works with a similar lack of efficacy. And also, I have that CD!
from enfinblue :
I'm totally with you on the telemarketers. It's not a matter of being cranky - it's annoying behaviour on the part of firms. I feel particularly incensed when they call me on Saturday morning, or at 7 p.m., when I am enjoying my precious post-work time. I must admit that I have call display and when I get a number without a name/that isn't indentifiable as a friend I just ignore it.
from enfinblue :
Hmm...good question. I believe that the answer is yes. But...and you knew that there would be a but...they are toothless. I wish I weren't grinning as I write this but...I know the country of my birth. I will look into it for you when I get home tomorrow afternoon/evening. Poor you re. the ankles and travel and so on. :(
from enfinblue :
Lovely, lovely news! On the other hand, I clicked on the slyder link and was startled -to say the least - by the website links under "food" to "nutrition" and "slyder re-heating." Hmmm...(I stopped before I got to the "slyder secret.") :)
from blighty :
I was thinking about Mom and GFKAMB, aka Santa, all day yesterday. Turns out I only needed to think about them for 93 seconds! I remember belly bombers, ugh. Lots of love, thinking of you too, and imagining every day of blog silence as being caused by the Big Push. Trying very hard not to phone you...
from artgnome :
It definitely sounds like water, I was mostly water. My water broke for what seemed endless! a symbol? how bout a ball and chain! hah! :)
from harri3tspy :
The one good thing about all that water gain is that it disappears almost instantly with baby. It's like magic! You're in the home stretch!
from blighty :
Lots of love to you and K this New Year. We were talking to the kids about Jena just the other day, and it launched us into a complicated historical discussion about the Berlin Wall. Sigh. My dad was a LOT of help. Not.
from enfinblue :
Wherever you will be you will be making a great life for your family. I find your reflections to be both tender and inspiring - and to carry a consistent thread of a solid, self-determining person. My travels were always much less purposeful and much more about flitting. :) Incidentally, I had forgotten about your fantastic red couch. It may indeed be the touch of the poster on each of us that has motivated that particular design choice. :)
from essaywriter :
"dating no-man's land" I'm intrigued. What do you mean?
from artgnome :
Happy New Year to you as well Teranika, I am also glad to have met you, you have been such an encouragement to me. And now you are in the mom's club, too! Baby's first year is always, always magic!
from enfinblue :
PS T, not to chide you, but for that I would have given him five bucks. ;-)
from enfinblue :
Well, of course you will have a wonderful year...in so many ways, I am sure! :)
from enfinblue :
You're so funny! A classic! :) I will go out there and buy it this weekend - thanks! I was thinking about you yesterday and thinking how exhausting the last stages of pregnancy must be. I'm hoping that you feel comfortable in the next little while and that you and K have a wonderful, wonderful year!
from enfinblue :
Your friend really does sound like the perfect type of guy. They're not easy to find. :) Good luck with your list. So exciting that your due date is so close! Many of my athlete friends felt the same way about giving birth and getting away from the sport - they felt it gave them new perspective and energy to apply to their chosen pursuit when they returned to it.
from enfinblue :
Yes, you will be unswollen soon. Take care and try to forget about those pesky landlord people for now. Good luck!
from artgnome :
oh my goodness, move if you can! that would drive me absolutely nuts. But the baby is coming, and you will be unswollen soon! best to you!
from enfinblue :
Thanks! You know, it's funny, but just writing about those people, my young self included, filled me with such happiness. I've always believed that life is a beautiful tapestry precisely *because* the sad is blended with the undoubtedly joyous. It's all good. And I will try to enjoy the dress. I have a ticket for four ballets in the winter and I will wear it each time. In fact, I will wear that dress so often that people will start to say, "Is she wearing that dress AGAIN?" :)
from enfinblue :
I know what you mean - it's something I think I'm going to challenge myself to change in myself in the new year.
from enfinblue :
Oh no, I truly am horrible. Your perspective reminds me that I rarely give men a chance. I cut them off right away if there is something "not perfect." Definitely something to work on. :)
from enfinblue :
You know, you're correct. I'm horrible. I really should stop inflicting pain on these nice men. He did tell me one thing that was quite disturbing and almost enough to justify not dating him, which was that he hasn't been meeting anyone to date as he was in a four year relationship. What? Until when, exactly? I didn't ask him to clarify. :)
from enfinblue :
Yes, gee, that was such a meaningful entry. I imagine that you and K. will develop a lovely set of new Christmas traditions with your children. :)
from reader1209 :
Those were some awesome Christmas memories..I really enjoyed reading that...thanks.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks for sharing your lovely stories! I hope to write up some of my own one of these days. Not today, though, alas!
from enfinblue :
You know, I looked for a sound clip of the Chretien bit for you and could not find one. You have been spared! ;-)
from enfinblue :
And I do hope you didn't miss Jean Chr3tien's recitation of his wife's tortiere recipe, accompanied by Quebecois fiddle music. :) Priceless...
from ladyloo :
Man, I wish I could get your Clutter Lady to come to Alabama and help my in-laws.
from enfinblue :
Yes, that doesn't sound constructive at all. I'm sure that his parents mean well but they clearly haven't thought through what that kind of pressure is likely doing to his state of mind. I certainly wish him all the best. Lordy do I ever know the pain that art economics. :)
from elgan :
You inspired me, actually. We're having company over for dinner on Christmas Eve and I'm making a spanikopita, the Moosewood one. It will be accompanied by Greek vegetable soup, dolmades, wilted cucumbers (Enchanted Broccoli Forest), and lemon mousse. Care to join us?
from enfinblue :
PS I think that "Clutter Lady" is fine, except if you happen to read it quickly and interpret it to be "Clucker Lady." ;-)
from enfinblue :
Yumm..chicken and white bean chili -sounds outstanding. You know, I'd wondered what had happened with K's thesis, what he is doing at the moment, but did not want to pry. (I almost never ask people personal questions not because I am not interested but because I don't want to intrude.) I think you're largely correct that the motivation has to come from within the person. I was up late at night one night recently and a hyper-religious show came on - and for some reason I was transfixed, when normally turned off by such things - and the guy on it flogging his book said something about the only thing to do for a person is to give them a "safe" and accepting place in which to do things for themself. There's something to this, and I'm sure that that's what you give to K. I feel guilty every time that I nag C. At the same time I hope that my pointing out ways in which he distortedly views the planning horizon can be helpful. I'm pleased for example that my torture of him (literally hovering over his keyboard in his office, telling him "Do it NOW! Do it now!" :)) last week committed him to clicking send on *a* version of his paper to his supervisor at least a week before xmas. I'm wondering though if the birth of your child will help K. to sort through this process for himself? I recently re-encountered an old acquaintance who just last year finished her Ph.D. after nearly 10 years. I told her how impressed I was that she had finished it. She told me that she did it because she didn't want to have to tell her daughter (now 2 or so) that she had given up. I'm sure that K.'s not giving up, but perhaps a change of perspective will give him new insight into the process. :) Take care and happy cooking! (Hope your headache rapidly abates.)
from enfinblue :
PS I'm glad to know that there are people such as you out there, repeatedly introducing ideas to reluctant audiences. Eventually they'll get it...
from enfinblue :
I suppose that what you say makes sense. :) The thing though is that I find cooking meditative (although I rarely do it these days)...grocery shopping not so much. :) I haven't made the spanikipita yet though. I have a Greek cookbook that has such beautiful pictures in it (Andy H@rris, Mod3rn Greek), that now I am debating making different little phyllo pies altogether (phyllo is always in the freezer to enable the making of "emergency" appetizers :). Hmm... And you reminded me that I need to buy a M@rk Bittm@n book! I keep on forgetting. I will also check out Wendy Cope when next at the bookstore. I feel as though I know her or should know her writing. Anyhow. That was my typically long note.
from elgan :
There's a fantastic recipe for spanikopita in the original Moosewood Cookbook which I have made. That one doesn't require the wrapping of individual pastries, you layer the phylo inside a baking dish, fill with half the filling, add more layers, more filling, and the rest of the phylo on top. Sort of like Greek lasagne. Yum!
from enfinblue :
Nice. I love spanikopita, and coincidentally have immediate plans to make some myself, given that I am too lazy to go to the supermarket for other stuff (and have spinach and phyllo and feta in my fridge at the moment :)). Enjoy!
from elgan :
There's a reason why it's called "La la Land".
from enfinblue :
I always feel badly when I rant about people, too. But really, isn't it better to rant to yourself than to actually unintentionally say something snippy *to* her. I think it's good to vent from time to time, and certainly at nearly full term in a pregnancy you're not needing any irritations. As you said, if K is irked...(By the way, you paint such a lovely picture of K! Charming is good!)
from enfinblue :
You know, when I lived in the 'couv, I found that it took a WEEK to dry a single wool sweater on a drying rack. Where has this woman been living? :)
from enfinblue :
And I forgot to mention last night that I'm shocked that you ever stole anything! :) What a lovely-sounding day you had - yes, in spite of your inconsiderate or at least oblivious landlords.
from ladyloo :
I'm amazed by your ability to stay quite zen in the face of your incompetent landlords. I would be swearing a lot more.
from blighty :
Ha, your list made me laugh. I am also slightly envious of the obvious ease with which it was written. I had to wrack my little brain for five things in every category save the first two. They were easy. Stop bending over at all. That is what K is for. Either that or only wear sloppy loafers or mules.
from enfinblue :
Thanks, again. :) I must say that the contents of those lists made me laugh. So thanks again! Also, how awesome about the pay equity thing - quite amazing, really. (Both that it happened so blatantly and that it was resolved so decisively.)
from enfinblue :
The carpet thing is completely nuts! Hearing the worst case scenario medical stuff is always unsettling, but you can now concentrate on knowing that it's unlikely to happen. :)
from enfinblue :
You raise a perfectly valid point. I had thought of it myself. Only I considered that it would not be kind to deny him not only a date but any lingering fantasies about his manhood. :)
from artgnome :
hah! toonies! loonies and toonies. I haven't been to Canada in too long. I need a trip to Toronto.
from enfinblue :
Sorry for the long notes! Feel free to delete them!
from enfinblue :
I meant I think that that's exactly the right touch. I need an editor. :) The Line Dance job is interesting. In some ways it's a very rigid one (and not just because of the people, although that is a huge factor). I do appreciate the opportunity to learn the workings of a central agency though, and know that the experience will benefit me wherever I end up in the long term. At this point I'm increasingly conscious that I don't know exactly where I want to go in the long term, which is kind of neat. I could still perhaps see myself doing something international in scope, but I couldn't speculate as to what that thing will be. For now I know that it is wise to cement my comparative advantage to many other economics people who end up in policy-oriented roles in the government, by keeping my quantitative skills sharp. Anyhow. Enough about me. I don't think that the people in my branch are going to loosen up any, but I've decided that all that I really hope to achieve is to gain the respect of the smattering of people there whom I think are outstanding at their work. If I can do that, for example, by being trusted and respected by my boss and the director of the branch as particular cases, I will have achieved a great deal. I'm not going to overnight turn a bunch of stiff chauvanists into anything they're not, so I'm goign to focus on earning their respect plain and simple. My grandfather was/is a horrible chauvinist pig, but I always remembered my mother telling me that even though he would never admit it, there was this one female economist with whom he had worked in the 1970s who later became a deputy minister, whom he truly respected. That's the goal, for now. (Well, not to gain the respect of my grandfather, but the other ones. :))
from enfinblue :
Thanks, t. I think that it is the living abroad thing that can liberate people from being attached to institutions and cultural ticks just because they are what they've inherited. I started to notice that these reflexes were falling away like a breaking shell, probably when I spent that year in relative cultural isolation in Kyong-Ju, S. Korea. So I, too, think very frequently that we would see eye-to-eye :). In a way it seems likely to have something to do with valuing the truth (whatever that means!), or at least the pursuit of something heading in the direction of the truth, mostly because once you realize that the world won't come crumbling down if you don't like something, you also realize that because of thoughtful criticism institutions can sometimes improve. Also, being critical of the way things work doesn't necessarily equate to being critical or unappreciative of people and/or the particular strengths of the cultures in which they live. I don't know. I wish I were a smarter, stronger person more capable of constructive, productive influence. But since I'm not I figure that it's fair to go about considering my circumstances critically, and whenever possible to initiate conversations with other people in regard to their critical reflections. And whatever the outcome of this process, trying to understand the broader context in which issues are situated has always made me happy. :) And WOW! you have awesome taste in cocktail outfits. You're also quite perceptive about my taste, because in general I do err on the side of traditional and conservative. I do like simple dresses and simple accessories. I would not have thought of the colourful scarf in this instance though and I think that's exactly the right touch. I've been thinking about buying a particular black dress and haven't done so as I've also been thinking that I should FINALLY buy some colour. (So thanks for reminding me that colour doesn't have to be all-over colour. :))
from harri3tspy :
I am convinced that the purpose of the sleep patterns of late pregnancy are to prepare you for life with a newborn, whose sleep patterns are quite similar.
from enfinblue :
PS Agree with your remarks about both the CBC and the Canadian brand of naval-gazing. Much eye rolling goes on in my apartment...When I read your remark - astute, as always - I chuckled. Only it's not so much funny as an acutely sad fact. :)
from enfinblue :
Of course. :) The thing is that general societal momentum in the right direction helps the politicians to make better decisions. Hmm...after I'm done with personal income tax I'll have to move divisions...
from enfinblue :
PS I think that what we can best do is set an example. I'm no paragon of virtue, to be sure, but whenever I can I tell people about how great my buying local veggie thing is turning out for me. Today at the party I was talking with another girl about recycling the same gift card among friends by crossing out names and resending the card - more as joke of course, than anything - but as part of a broader way of thinking in an old-fashioned way: "Use it up; wear it out; make it do; do without." (Of course I don't think I need this slogan cross-stitched and sitting on my wall as it was when I was growing up, but still... :))
from enfinblue :
It's funny - perhaps because I am in Ottawa I have been (appropriately) hearing the message that Canada is one of the worst offenders, that we should be ashamed of ourselves (and we should). The disgust that other nations feel for our behaviour and weaseling on this matter is regularly expressed in the media that I hear on a daily basis. Ottawa has a peculiar culture though, so I should not be surprised. This does not mean, of course, that anything is going to change at the leadership level.
from artgnome :
oh memories. I had a full gall bladder and two stones in my bile duct at delivery time. I had three surgeries before my son was born and all was well. Enjoy the warmth of those purring kitties! We are getting pummeled with snow again. But we are used to that.
from teranika :
I think that the ice cold water probably DID remove the foot swelling...but I didn't need a big rumbling plastic device to do that! This is definitely goin' up at the next yard sale... By the way, I showed K your comment about 'appy' and he loved it. I don't think that he had made the connection that you have German friend economist C., who seems to share some strangely similar characteristics... even though I frequently talk about "something that Ott. S. said." !
from enfinblue :
And here I thought you were trying to take down the swelling in your feet...The ornaments (even the pillow case) are indeed from Germany, though I don't know the specifics. They were all sent to me by C.'s mom a couple of years ago. They're quite lovely I think. :)
from enfinblue :
Oh oh oh. "Appy" reminds me of all of those Australian words that drove me so MAD. Such as "arvo" and "tick," and even "uni," frankly. But the one that actually bugs me the most of all short forms is actually "preggers." When people say that I want to scream. I don't know why. One of those things. I must tell you that I actually think that people having things that make them angry is charming. People who are level all the time are not human. We all need to have bugaboos! C. is the sweetest loveliest guy as well, but every now and then he goes into a tirade, usually when something goes wrong with his computer, but also sometimes in the kitchen. It makes me laugh inside. But we won't tell him so. It's how I figured out the German word for sh_t, of course. I now use it frequently, as I do the "soft" substitute expressions that C. has taught me subsequently. The OTHER thing I thought I should tell you is that you should DEFINITELY not feel badly about not being able to do many of the yoga poses. I can hardly do any of the stretches that most people do after running or cycling classes, because I have NO flexibility in my hamstrings and lower back. We're all made differently. Not good that you felt pain though, but I'm glad that the body pillow could relieve it.
from elgan :
Appy? Never heard of it. It sounds like something that should be cheerful.
from enfinblue :
Thanks again. You're very sweet. I am definitely now feeling more comfortable with the thought of having a quiet, reflective xmas on my own. I will make it lovely. Enjoy those squirrel activities. (How I wish I could rewire and embrace mornings...)
from artgnome :
agh! if only I had that energy today. I HATE being sick!
from fifidellabon :
I saw your message to Bluey and I was remembering about how one can tell the temperature outdoors in Winter by how fast one's nose hairs freeze! Also, I simply adore the film "The Secret of Roan Innish"! I still weep like a child whenever I see it. Also too as well, I shall see about a rosemary tree. Brilliant idea! /Fifi
from enfinblue :
PS I was feeling quite gloomy and sad as I trudged home from work, head hanging...but the penguin totally snapped me back to being smiley. Thanks! :)
from enfinblue :
I don't know anything about diapers, but the woman who had the baby at the party a week or so had these really awesome looking cloth things that she said were very durable. I'd be happy to ask her where she got them if you run into trouble. :) But on to the penguin...NO WONDER K. DID A DOUBLE TAKE. That is one large baby substitute to stuff into a baby sling, from what I can tell (i.e. measuring the penguin against the large books). Very jealous about the Moscow River thing. That is something I would like to do - I've run good stretches of the Thames, the Tiber and the Yarra, but never the Moscow. :) And I love the candles picture. Incidentally, this weekend I am going to do the xmas decorating thing and will get my rosemary tree. Thanks again for the suggestion.
from artgnome :
DANG! that is one scary penguin. I'll bet he keeps the kitties in line.
from blighty :
so funny. would love to see both the cat and the penguin in the baby sling. am booking my flights today or tomorrow. SO EXCITED!!!!!! And yes, I cannot imagine how awful a marzipan potato is, except anything else made of marzipan...
from artgnome :
cloth diapers last here about 2 weeks. My son peed through them so much I switched to the deadly disposables pretty fast. The only time I've seen them work is the people that can afford diaper service. I do not miss diapers of any kind. not one bit. :)
from enfinblue :
Would love to see a picture of the penguin... :)
from harri3tspy :
I am so sorry that I never thought to try out Mrs. Stein in the Baby Bjorn. But then again, if I had, It might not have been in any condition to send you! I'm glad you're liking the musical toys! I had been hoping to send you more Boynton books -- we had tons. But they were much loved and were sadly, very sticky and chewed upon.
from ladyloo :
I think my mom always used Amaze. Although, come to think of it I don't know if it's non-toxic. I'm not much help, eh?
from enfinblue :
Thanks, t. I don't mean to be so needy. You're very kind.
from enfinblue :
Great about the student! I love marzipan balls!
from elgan :
Ah, yes. Last Christmas I asked for a melon baller, the one most useless kitchen gadget I could think of (as opposed to my lemon zester, which I adore). I had to show my daughter what it was. She had no idea. I hope Papa K enjoys his as much as I enjoy mine!
from artgnome :
There isn't anything as wonderful as a Barko lounger when you get to be in the third trimester! keep those feet up! xo
from enfinblue :
I have been known to eat a whole pizza in one sitting, myself, and I have nothing like your excuse. I'm sure that Knutie enjoyed the capers. :)
from elgan :
Knutella! Chocolatey, hazelnut goodness *and* female!
from artgnome :
yeah, well the snow is hitting us here in NY. There may be a school day tomorrow. The boy is hoping. :)
from enfinblue :
Those both are excellent ideas! I had heard of the rosemary tree in years past and then forgotten of it. Funny that the wreath salesman discouraged me from buying one...Ah well, I will do it anyhow! Thanks a bunch.
from enfinblue :
ACK. Sorry -three notes. I like the photo and the xmas red!!!
from enfinblue :
Oops...I meant neti pot. Very curious now.
from enfinblue :
Hmmm..now I need to google net pot...So glad to hear that you are resting! Very good. Well done. :) Also, you're making me jealous re. the tree. I almost bought a proper wreath today but given that it would be sitting indoors the guy agreed with me that it would dry out too quickly. I felt sad. I think I will have to get myself a little tree top to stick in a jar of water, at least. Or maybe a picture of a Christmas tree to put on the wall, anyhow. (Bought some white Caillebaut chocolate today, which reminded me of going to your special cheese house in NY. :))
from harri3tspy :
I love my neti pot! It has definitely changed my life for the better, especially in the winter!
from enfinblue :
Congratulations on the end of classes! Now you can take a break. I'm glad that the instrument installed...It does indeed appear that your lab has had some sort of a jinx on it. Eek. But no longer, I hope.
from enfinblue :
But you know that I know everything, of course!! Well at least trivial things of no immediate import to me. :)
from enfinblue :
Hmm...that's odd. Are you sure that the devices weren't problematic because they didn't have the CSA check on the them (Canadian Standards Association -verifies electrical items). Ah well! That profile is getting no hits, except one from Karnataka. And I'm not quite ready to import a husband from Southern India. :) Really. Hope you are feeling well and are being gentle with yourself!
from artgnome :
Being pregnant often evokes gentleness in others towards you. I found that quite touching and special when I was in that delicate condition.
from enfinblue :
Hope you're taking an opportunity to have a good rest. :)
from enfinblue :
Lovely entry. Very evocative. And I did not know that about the crows. (Blame the Aussie accent for the crows vs. crumbs. :))
from elgan :
"Pigeons and Crows" is the name of a short operatic scene my husband wrote as his "audition" for the Canadian Opera Company composition competition in 1988. I hadn't thought of it in ages.
from artgnome :
My Miss P was like that. If I was up too late on the computer, she would sit next to me and start meowing, telling me to get to bed, Missy! I miss her.
from artgnome :
It really is time for you to slow down now. I hope you allow your schedule to let up soon.
from enfinblue :
Oh no! I just read your entry. I'm glad you're OK. Rest well.
from enfinblue :
Thanks, T. You're more than welcome. I am quite sincere. And although I don't know you in your real life, I am excited for you and wish you all the best in this wonderful adventure that you have embarked on!! And Happy Thanksgiving! :) Re. meetings: I suppose that one has to be a bit of a *fruit loop* in order to pull off the kinds of meeting remarks that I suggest and play with all the time. ;-) (Although I'm guessing that it will be necessary for me to refine my approach in this new department...)
from enfinblue :
Excellent! Highly amusing. And I have to agree -I haven't been to a hair academy student but some of the best haircuts I've ever had have been from the least experienced, "cheap" people. My favourite of late was the young studly guy with purple hair who only wanted to talk to me about his home gym and his upcoming trip to Hong Kong. But man could he cut. (Too bad he was HOPELESS with colour. :)) TOtally envying you your lush, shiny hair by the way...
from elgan :
When I lived in Ann Arbor as the poor wife of a poor grad student, and even when we moved to Brandon when he had an actual job, I always went to the hairdressing school. I got the best hair cut, and met the nicest people. Oh, right, and I saved a helluva lot of dough.
from artgnome :
yes, some of us tattooed and pierced chicks are definitely worth knowing. ;)
from enfinblue :
And PPS Thanks for picking out my sofa!
from enfinblue :
PS Full agreement on the potatoes and the corn flakes. ;-)
from enfinblue :
Thanks! :) Glad you laughed. And great that you got to laugh with the relatives at home, though I'm sorry that you will miss Thanksgiving. I'm with you on that being a special holiday. It's really too bad that you couldn't book off a day (perhaps call in sick and not lecture on that day, or ask your students if they'd mind rescheduling the lecture ;-)). And as for meetings...ugh. Unbearable. I'm not a meeting person, particularly when the people attending are inefficient. It kind of calls for an emporer's new clothes kind of thing, non? You could always say in a really sprightly, naive sort of a way, "Gee, this agenda looks extremely reminiscent of the agenda during the meeting that took place months ago. I'm clearly not picking up on the differences. Must be me. Can someone enlighten me as to what progress we are hoping to make today?" (With careful effort to avoid veering into sarcasm, of course.) And WOW about the quilt. I've been wanting to knit you something but my goodness a quilt is extraordinary. I would dearly love to learn to quilt...such an exquisite craft.
from enfinblue :
Thanks so much for all of your notes. I sincerely appreciated them and your kindness in writing them (particularly in your undertandable state of fatigue!). :) I do need to be patient, and enjoy the challenge. Ultimately I need to keep perspective, given that it is only a *job*. I do know *who* Pete Seeger is, although my lack of knowledge of his music is completely, perfectly representative of the way that I do things, i.e. ploddingly - one thing, one artist at a time. I always explore deeply and never widely; it takes a while for me to add to the list of artists with whom I am familiar. The poet scientist has given me a proper introduction to Tom Waits this year, for example. :) I love the idea of those cultural moments. I have had similar moments in Japan when the topic of Ann3 of Gre3n Gabl3s arises in conversation. Hmm...now off to check out the sofa! (I think I should ship you my bordelo lamp just for entertainment. ;-))
from elgan :
It's snowing here.
from enfinblue :
I regret that I know absolutely nothing about Pete Se3ger. I know, I know, terrible! PS Thanks for your tip about the charcoal grey. That really appeals - it's one of my favourite shades, anyhow, and I suspect that IK3a will serve up a decent cheap loveseat in such a colour!
from artgnome :
It's unfortunate, but I don't think there is a "Pete Seeger" of today. Today is all about the surface, the bling, the self. Even those that claim to be politically involved are mostly misinformed by a corrupt media. For me, John Denver albums take me there, to a world where people still cared about the community aspects of society.
from enfinblue :
I feel for you. I'm utterly exhausted and I'm not even carrying around a passenger. Hope you find some pep!
from enfinblue :
Awesome! I'm glad. I hope it works. (And I apologize if I seemed bossy. I don't like to give people advice, but my mind always spins with possible solutions when I hear of problems.:))
from enfinblue :
I'm very, very impressed with this entry, and not only because you managed to escape pregnant brain so that you could recount the yoga class story, but because you are able to remember and relay such a long and detailed dream sequence! :) Re. the university and the national funding program...I have to say squeaky wheel! squeaky wheel! Can you say any of these things directly to someone in Ottawa, and why not go to the university president about the electrical issue? These people are more accessible than you think. I was having this talk with my friend today who is from the Czech Republic. He was complaining on and on about the inefficiency of the bureacracy here but he acknowledged on the flipside that if you try to go to the top to speak with someone..they'll return your calls. Seriously, it seems so crazy to me that it has been more than a year and you still do not have your startup money. And of course the university admin issues are just a joke. I wish I knew someone who could help - my uncle is a university president though unfortunately a province over.. :(
from enfinblue :
Oops I meant bread pudding. Sometimes I write things and they look normal and then I look at them again and realize that I am completely losing my mind. :)
from enfinblue :
I tried to leave you a note about this yesterday...It's really too bad that you probably can't move at this stage. What a pain about the roof. And honestly, if it were me I would invite the landlady up for a cup of tea and very nicely tell her that you feel uncomfortable with her handling of this business relationship. But then maybe I'm too forthright a person for my own good. :) And great about the breadpudding. Yummy!!!!
from enfinblue :
PS Great karate chops. I might try them out on Jimbo after all. ;) And glad that you are enjoying the yoga. :)
from enfinblue :
That was really beautiful - thanks for sharing that. I have similar memories of lying in bed looking at two paintings done by my grandmother - one of Rapunzel and one of the Hansel and Gretel story. I had no idea what they were about when I was very little so I imagined my own stories (probably best left that way). Mmmm... quiche. Definitely inspired to make quiche this afternoon - K. and I share that taste in treats. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend!
from artgnome :
Lovely pictures, Teranika, thank you!
from enfinblue :
AWWWW. Love the pictures. I'm so taken by the ones of the tower in the fog, and the ones of the water and boats. (And of course the curled up kitties.) You know I've actually been to Seattle four times I think, and had forgotten this until I looked at your pictures! (I once struggled through the marathon when I had the flu, ran a 4:50 mile in the first mile and so got sick in an offical footrace to a bar on St. Patty's day, and struggled through a half marathon on another occasion with a torn fasciia on the bottom of my foot -ouch, no surprise that I was supressing.) What I liked about Seattle is that it has the buildings that make it seem like a major east coast city - old factories, old bank buildings, etc. - and yet there is something more spaced out about the buildings, more quiet about the city centre maybe...that makes it feel very gentle as far as cities go. But maybe that's just a west coast thing? Do you agree? Love the market, to be sure -great, great fish stands and specialty foods. Thanks for sharing the pictures - I'm inspired to go back for a simple vacation not involving strenuous activity. :)
from harri3tspy :
I love the kitties. Our cats were convinced the changing table pad was a new bed for them also. Boy, were they surprised to find it's real use. I love the space needle in fog. It looks even more like an alien space ship than usual.
from enfinblue :
But I have short hair!!! :) (And an extremely tragic zip code. :)) You're correct in questioning the video store guy. We've talked about this before -it's just that the men who seem to be interested in an inquisitive woman who is interested in the world seem to be so difficult to locate! ACK! I'm quite frustrated. So for now I'm going to devote my attentions to the lovely women whom I've been meeting lately, and also to volunteer work that makes me feel warm inside when I think about it - those are the things that matter. :)
from harri3tspy :
I love that raccoon is Waschbaer. One of my favorite German words. Our cat Mrs. Stein is woefully disinterested in the very bold raccoons in our yard who will come right up to the screens sometimes, causing me to run around the house slamming doors like a maniac.
from ladyloo :
Hah! Caught red handed! And red eyed!
from enfinblue :
Yes, yes do slow down, take it easy. And enjoy the cankles. :) I figure that you might as well enjoy every temporary experience in life, just to say that you did. :) Perhaps you can use them as a device to extract additional kindnesses from K. ;)
from artgnome :
yup, elevating the feet at EVERY opportunity is the best medicine for cankles and swollen tootsies. :)
from elgan :
Ha ha! You said "cankles"! I remember those. Stay off your feet if you can, at least standing on them. They will disappear when baby arrives, fear not. What's your sodium intake like? That could be causing water retention as well.
from blighty :
Please slow down and rest. I know it is hard not to get wound up by the incompetent and absurd university bureaucracy but take some time and relax and look after yourself. love you.
from artgnome :
oh my, slow down if you can. pregnancy is no joke, and you need to work with it. Prayers for you for less stress and more rest!
from enfinblue :
You are a goddess! Or maybe a dudette. :) But you know that already. I will check that out - very helpful. It's funny - I do get upset but most people in real life find me to be ridiculously upbeat. I had a situation a while ago in which a friend of mine was having trouble with her husband and I spent half of the week with her crying on my shoulder when I was already pretty tired...and I was recounting this to my friend Natasha in an email, ending the note with "But it is good to be a friend!" When I stopped by to see Natasha in person she was still laughing...she had read it and thought "That's so S! Always with the positive spin! I would have told my friends to be less needy! :)"
from enfinblue :
Oh...definitely try to relax and enjoy your evening. :)
from enfinblue :
That's so great about your health and the baby's health! It's so exciting. I'm really happy for you- it's a delight to hear about the process. And thanks very much for your comments. The situation at work *is* unpleasant, but not unexpected. The thing is though that the job that I am leaving for is absolutely amazing (and accounts from contacts of the professionalism of the environment have been many and frequent), so I have nothing to be upset about. My future is bright! And yes, my friend is known for making ridiculously unsuitable remarks. I know how to take her -she really does mean well :) - but today it was TOO much to take. I seriously lost it. I wrote and rewrote the email in reply until I had sufficiently toned down my anger to one or two pointed and not overly unkind sentences...and then clicked send. :)
from artgnome :
ahh, you are nesting! I am also one of those with energy first thing in the morning. After the noon hour, it's usually all downhill for me from there. It sounds like you are feeling good, and that is great!
from enfinblue :
Oops...late at night...I meant the warm solidity of the architecture...Bricks, really. :)
from enfinblue :
I know exactly what you mean - one of the things I missed most when I lived in the west was the solidity and warmth of the architecture of the east. :) :(
from enfinblue :
I must be hungry and lightheaded as that was only a faintly understandable note. :)
from enfinblue :
I'm so with you on the pumpkin thing and likening it to the buffalo. :) I used to go as far as roasting the seeds as well as cooking the flesh. I'm getting too old for that now, I think. You should be able to get frozen squash in square boxes in the frozen goods section. For some reason I want to say that it might be stored near the frozen fruit...I haven't bought it in a long while. (I love love love fresh, organic butternut and don't mind hacking it up. I think I just like the look of it sitting there on my counter top. Hmmm...think that's what I'll cook tonight.) Hope yoga was good! (And that you thought up a good reason to not attend the diaper party - EEEEEEK!)
from elgan :
I have never seen frozen squash. But there's lots of canned pumpkin (which also contains squash) ready to mix with spices for pie. Keep looking. Maybe it's out there.
from coldandgray :
I had the cat issue, too; scaling mount cloudy. It did not stop after the baby was born, just got more complex with trying to juggle one more.
from enfinblue :
Further to Elgan's note...and now some of them get to carry guns, I believe. :( http://www.canada.com/windsorstar/story.html?id=fc21bd3f-a8e9-4c89-94d1-6df130e24918&k=67478
from enfinblue :
:)
from elgan :
Mazal tov on getting your car across. Not all immigration/customs bureaucrats are inept at their job, just enough of them to give the whole system a bad name. Andrew and I used to cross all the time (Detroit/Windsor) and occasionally would find a helpful, courteous person. Most of them just hate their jobs and it shows.
from enfinblue :
Just my kind of piece. :) "Landed Immigrant is a formerly official classification for a person who has been admitted to Canada as a non-citizen permanent resident. The current official classification for such a person is simply permanent resident. Nevertheless, the term 'Landed Immigrant' was in use for so long, that it has become part of Canadian vocabulary, and even still appears on some government-related forms and publications."
from enfinblue :
Glad you had a wonderful time. I quite liked Seattle the three times that I visited it. Sorry about the tarp. :(
from enfinblue :
I have to say, you just plain amuse me. Quite the storyteller. Any Irish heritage? :)
from artgnome :
I have to tell you, I spent plenty o' years as a professional musician and am an artist, and have never anywhere else seen egos the size of some academic professionals. She is obviously threatened by your ideas and is trying to freeze you out or make you look bad for just plain being smarter than her and more capable, at seven months pregnant to boot! you GO, girl. :)
from enfinblue :
Ah tenderly unfettered! You're hilarious. And colourful! (Lucky little girl.) Honestly, I can't stand anything remotely resembling dollar stores or cheap-plastic-anything stores. All I can think of is how much fuel was burned to bring all of this junk across the ocean for us to use for the few days or months before it breaks. Makes me feel sick to my stomach often, actually. But of course I remain a consumer...
from enfinblue :
Thanks, T. I feel for you re. the weather. But never fear - soon enough it will be so bleak here you won't believe it. I'll post pictures so that you can contrast the grey with the nice evergreens out there. :) Ottawa really is HORRIBLE from November to April (well, except the frozen canal, which I intentionally live a block from). Short on time, must go... :)
from harri3tspy :
I seem to have mislaid your email address. When you get a chance, drop me an email at harri3tspyATgmailDOTcom. I have a list of baby gear for you at last.
from enfinblue :
I wouldn't worry about it. It sounds as though she might be a little bit lonely? and unable to see a business transaction as a business transaction. I would definitely thank her for the gift, apologize for the delay in responding...but at some point mention that gifts are really not necessary. I mean, why not? It *is* a business transaction, after all. But then who am I to speak - my landlord repeatedly tries to seduce me... :)
from enfinblue :
Disgusting! Good luck. Hope that one of the suggested remedies works.
from elgan :
To get the smell of pee out of anything try a) vinegar, b) baking soda, c) ammonia, d) chlorine bleach. Do not mix any of those items together, or you risk making noxious fumes (except for a) and b) which will yield H2O). Good luck.
from blighty :
A unit of alcohol in the UK is the amount in a 125 ml glass of wine, which is also half a pint of strong beer or one measure of a spirit. So now you know something new. Also to note that in the UK perfectly sane and reasonable people would be aghast that you have purchased and brought into your house, a stroller, before the baby. This is the strongest, most widely spread superstition I have ever experienced. So much so that EVERY stroller and pram shop assumes when you buy the pram as a pregnant woman that you will not be collecting it until the baby arrives. They all hold all the strollers etc free of charge for months at a time, because I don't know, the world explodes if you bring a pram into a house before the baby. So now you know two interesting UK facts.
from enfinblue :
Good advice. It's probably true. My old short parka no longer feels as warm as it once did. But then I suspect that this because the feathers are always coming out of the fabric onto my other clothing :), plus I've washed it a number of times over the years. It's too short, anyhow. :)
from enfinblue :
Now that was funny. Whatever it takes. :) Great about Al Gore and the IPCC.
from elgan :
A unit is generally one glass of wine, one 12-ounce beer, one shot of hard liqueur -- separately that is, not all at the same time! Enjoy!
from harri3tspy :
Excellent! I will try to put together a list in the next few days of what I've got. I'm going to assume that the bigger stuff (crib, high chair, strollers) doesn't pay to ship. I want to check the condition of things and also see what's appropriate for a Patricia rather than a Patrick. I'll try to get back to you sometime this week with a list to see what you can use. Stay tuned!
from coldandgray :
Congrats on your baby GIRL!! Sorry about the fibroids. My friend had huge ones while pg and had no real complications with her pregnancy or birth, other than her little boy's head lists a little to the right. I had to cancel my baby shower (we were hosting our own) & feel a little gypped. You will have fun at yours, enjoy being the pregnant lady. Finn is doing great, by the way, but still in hospital. I am working on the birth story.
from artgnome :
ohhh, I remember the glucose test. I passed out cold. hah. I've had sugar problems since I was 11, and had gestational diabetes while pregnant. I feel for you, friend.
from harri3tspy :
You know, I'm in the process of giving away boatloads of baby things (clothes, toys, books, lots of miscellaneous baby stuff). If there's anything you want/need, let me know and I'd be happy to send it. It would make me happy to know that AJ's things were going to a person I know, even if only virtually.
from enfinblue :
Thanks--I will definitely take your kind advice. I just really don't like feeling that I'm making someone uncomfortable. It would never be my intention. And she's a very interesting woman so I am more than happy to pay attention to her.
from enfinblue :
PS I don't mean to be intrusive with the links and advice. :)
from enfinblue :
Yep, C is the second one. I've added one of he and I concentrating on a game at the bottom. :)
from enfinblue :
Links to the BC rental tribunal and a general agreement are posted below as well. Good luck! (Sounds like K did a good job playing hardball yesterday, so hopefully things will improve. You don't deserve a leak, or a rotted porch!)
from enfinblue :
Good luck finding the export form. Re. the landlords, I think you have to be direct. I would say that you like them and don't want to be a pain, but the the repair issues are really causing you stress during this exciting time in your lives. I would say also that the given the rent increase you would particularly like to see the apartment live up to expectations. I don't actually know the housing rules in BC, but there will be a rental authority that will work in your interest. You can check permitted rent increases and for sure you can play hardball wth your landlords. You are also able to go month to month after 1 year in a place, usually, i.e. no lease is required. Here's the link to a non-profit tenant's advisory centre: http://www.tenants.bc.ca/ http://www.rto.gov.bc.ca/ http://www.iut.nu/members/Canada/Landlord_Tenant.doc
from artgnome :
oh boy. I would tell them I would be happy to pay the new rent as soon as the leaks are repaired. Not the roof, the leaks. That takes away the argument that the roof is fixed and from going around in the same circle of excuses with them. That and no upped rent until it's fixed. If they threaten anything, tell them you will take this to a landlord/tenant dispute organization. Look up the one in your city, they exist. good luck!
from enfinblue :
Great about meeting someone new. Re. the work situation, if I get offered the job at the other ministry I think I'm going to give serious thought to accepting it--I'm moving in that direction in my thinking. The personalities where I am at the moment leave me to believe that being more forthright about their poor management skills than I have been is not in my best interest. And lord knows I love to be forthright; it's taken effort for me to not to tell my female boss exactly what I think of her neglect of my work. The difficult thing about me leaving now though would be that at most they would have 3 weeks notice and I know that they would be completely high and dry as a result--it will be months before they can either hire someone in and train them to do some of the work. The SE asked me to commit to at least 8-10 months, though I didn't commit. I'm going to feel my way through this.
from artgnome :
hey, it sounds like you might have made a new friend, and that's always a perk! I'm also one of those round little overweight girls that is surprisingly strong and flexible, I'm not too shabby in the yoga department, either. heh.
from enfinblue :
Can't help it--I love raccoons. I'll admit though that they are a menace. Toronto also has a raccoon problem, and I used to get a kick out of watching the raccoons swinging in the pear tree immediately behind my friend Cynthia's house. She, on the other hand, didn't like the poop that they left on the deck. So I would go out and climb the tree to completely remove the fruit and thereby most of the problem...Unfortunately she wasn't willing to do this herself and so a noble pear tree was cut down the following year. :( I've never heard of raccoons lifting sod, though. In a town that is currently garbage heaven you'd think they'd be well-enough fed elswhere...funny creatures. :)
from enfinblue :
Yes, me too on the healthy evolution of the tumours. It seems to me that what you say is true--all of the issues are known so you can go forward with confidence (and focus on the joy of the situation). Thanks for the encouragement! My simple problem is that I don't sleep much during the week, stressed out this week because of the job interview and all of the *thinking* about change, and so by the end of the week, predictably, I feel low. Not a major mystery. The mystery is why I repeat the same patterns over and over and over again. :) Happy Thanksgiving holiday weekend!
from artgnome :
I'll be praying for your good health and a quiet death of tumors. I'm believing the very best for you and your little one.
from enfinblue :
:) My guess is that your little girl is simply joyful rather than a troublemakeer. :)
from enfinblue :
You know, however nice, I think it would be perfectly reasonable to let loose on the fume hood people. Incompetence should be rewarded...
from enfinblue :
PS I definitely hope that magical, perfect-match guy has a point of some kind. :)
from enfinblue :
Ok. Poor you. That wardrobe story made me laugh. And you make me want to get a cat. I'm still in the phase of pretending that the little orange and white cat that sits in the dormer across the lane from my side living room window is mine. :)
from blighty :
That's just too bizarre for words. And don't be smug - I have NEVER gotten over "Hey B! Here's a dinky one." I love you anyway
from enfinblue :
Only one thing to say: OMG
from enfinblue :
Oh poor you. I find when I am in situations like that--apart from losing my lap, that is :)--if I can breathe deeply and bite off only small pieces things start to move along again. And do take it easy on the yoga. Hope your day at least ended well. :)
from harri3tspy :
Oh. My. God. That is insane. It's Buttle/Tuttle all over.
from enfinblue :
I forgot--the Pamela Anderson guy said that I can't look like "Jabba the Hutt." Given that he'd seen my photo, I was rather puzzled by this latter point. :)
from enfinblue :
You're quite correct about what matters being what ensues once a difference in knowledge is discerned. I'm quite supportive of sharing what I know and what interests me with others, and grateful when met with enthusiasm. Likewise, I'm not afraid to admit ignorance and to welcome information sharing from the other. S. was not so terrible on that front, although his range of interests was quite different to mine. The problem generally though is that the men who are approaching me are broadly not what I would be looking for. For example, one guy wrote to me who had written in his profile that the woman he dates must be "stunnning." (UGH!) Another said that he required that his women dress in frilly, feminine clothing. (Uh. Delete.) And the remainder talk about working out all the time and making lots of money, and oh yeah they visit an all-inclusive in Mexico every winter so they are "well-traveled." A final gem yesterday told me without invitation that it's OK--I don't need to look like Pamela Anderson. (Uh. OK.) I don't know. I guess my feeling is that I would seek slightly more worldliness, delicacy, tact, discretion. But maybe I'm way too picky... :) OK. I'll stop bugging you.
from enfinblue :
PS Sorry for so many notes! Finally, don't worry about criticizing me. I like constructive criticism, and this was helpful. (You're taking on the Canadian cautiousness thing--watch out! Your American forthrightness is an asset. :) Just teasing. Have a great afternoon.)
from enfinblue :
I think it's true of most of us that our spheres of knowledge are very small. It's not really a reasonable critique for me to have made of the guy. (So instead I'll pin him simply on not being a good match for me. The Donald certainly doesn't top my list of great men. :) Actually, I think that I have latent resentment lingering from the time that my undergrad boyfriend took me on a camping trip to New Hampshire and forced me to listen to Sam Walton's life story on audio tape during the entire trip...He had aspirations...)
from enfinblue :
You'll excuse the mistakes in my long note. My typing fingers are so fast. :)
from enfinblue :
You know, I was thinking about the same things in regards to your first note. It is quite true that our knowledge is steered by the source, and that mine is definitely biased by the likelihood that I will get my news from CBC Radio 1. (And I agree that the quality of programs there has been lacking of late, though I've typically enjoyed As it Happens (don't get me started on how silly I find AM Tremonti to be or how much I dislike The Current, and other "current affairs" show on the channel are laughable).) Otherwise I read the Globe out of obligation, the Guardian online because I like it (particularly for books and visual arts reporting), and NYT for other specific types of news. My knowledge is very much shaped by these sources. Oh and I read the Economist, although it sometimes annoys me sufficiently that I have to put it down. :) Brittany is a sad case, isn't she? I pity the girl. For trash my preferred reading is Paris Match, since my landlord gives them to me for free and they provide an opportunity to read in French. (You'd think I'd extend myself a little bit and read La Presse or Le Devoir instead. :)) So I know far more about Segolène Royale's hair than any woman should. :) Final note: I think the thing that surprised me about Naomi Klein is that is that she is about our age (37) and she was a really big deal here in the early 1990s. When writing for the U of T student paper she wrote a very controversial piece about Israel that had her all over the news and that generated death threats and so on. And then No Logo came out and was huge here. I guess it's a contextual thing that I'd felt that S. had slept through or something...
from enfinblue :
And love the poem...though if you want to go for something more turgid and metaphysical ;) (to further deepen the clock-repair-or-rather-not-repair mystery), you could always go for Emily Dickinson: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-clock-stopped/ ;-)
from enfinblue :
Love the clock story. It truly is unreal. I'm almost speechless. (But then when am I ever speechless!)
from artgnome :
great poem, I love good unpretentious poems. Oh, how far the red tape goes, right on down to the clocks. Makes you wonder if there is any good sense left to the world, they've over-complicated it so.
from enfinblue :
Interesting. Thanks for that. I had really thought that NK was "bigger" because of her role in the anti-Globalization movement. And same goes for S Lewis, given how high-profile the AIDS in Africa thing has been. Fair comment. (Although these guys are both Canadian... and if they had watched the news at all in the last ten years... :)) I suppose I can be a bit too quick to judge. :(
from enfinblue :
Thank you, kindly. In writing out all of the traits of these vanished suitors I am truly wondering if I am *completely insane*. Good luck at the border, thanks for the smile re. Glenn Gould mania :), and thanks for the tree trunk table story. (I'm going to speak with Claus about the last. I like it.)
from enfinblue :
Hope that made sense--I'm typing with C. breathing down my neck as he wants to run (literally). :)
from enfinblue :
THanks, T. TO be honest, I tried something like that the day before yesterday with a brief addendum yesterday. And it didn't work. But I"ve been thinking about it a great deal and I honestly believe that he is looking for a woman to just make it easy for him. He was going to run away scared sooner or later. I'm just too curious, energetic, emotional for him...and as much I try I can't be anyone different. And why would I want to be. Gotta run. Thanks again! :)
from harri3tspy :
This discussion reminds me of one morning when a bunch of us were walking to an early seminar decided to sing a grammatically correct version of "Louie, Louie." To wit, Louis Louis, Oh, no, we have got to go now, Yes, yes, yes, yes.
from enfinblue :
That all sounds very positive, and how great about your student. Discovering that it might be time to speak about something new also seems like a growth opportunity, whcih is always good.
from enfinblue :
Yay. Must have been so great to see the baby. :)
from artgnome :
congrats! and good luck! :)
from enfinblue :
Thanks again! You are so nice. But I do think that I've become some slightly crazy woman who has created a box and is trying to put men in it. I've become too set on the same old, same old life narrative that I've created for myself. It's time to give some people a shot at entering my world, I suspect. (And first I really need to do some cleaning of my emotional house. :) I was actually shocked at the analysis and the comments that were coming out of my mouth by the end of the date last night. They were completel premature. I think too much, and not in a good way.)
from enfinblue :
Thanks so much for your comments. Your perspective is always appreciated!!! :) It's all good. I think I'm just crazy and need to do some good analysis of the crazy things that are always going on in my head...before I involve anyone else in my messy world. :) Too bad about the choir practise being on Thursdays. But perhaps you can try it out and see how it goes? And great, too, that you are connecting with people (even if they are leaving)!!!!
from artgnome :
I think it's great that you have lost the awkward uncomfortableness of work last year. It's great to see you hitting your stride! good on you!
from enfinblue :
Stay in the happy place! :) And GREAT that you are feeling in control and beautiful. (And kudos to K for being such an awesome, supportive husband. :))
from coldandgray :
my dad's mother died when he was 5 years old, too. Trauma at such an early age can really tweak you. Good luck with your decision to reconnect.
from enfinblue :
Oooh! I'll have to try out Wives and Daughters. I've been feeling exhausted and wanted to stay in this weekend so I grabbed Middlemarch quite spontaneously when at the video store on Thursday night. I've enjoyed turning my mind off and giving my body a complete rest. All work and no play...
from enfinblue :
I have indeed encountered the Vancouver-love thing. And actually I am frequently annoyed by the Canadian fear of causing offence. I like forthright people. It is absolutely understandable that you would find comfort with people from the same place who speak the same language. :) Thank you for asking about my latest date! He has been in regular email contact this week but was out of town visiting his parents. He wrote to me upon his arrival home this evening and we will be seeing each other again next weekend. It's very natural and easy and I like his company. :)
from enfinblue :
I hope that made sense--I'm dizzy with allergies at the moment. :)
from enfinblue :
Oh and it's so nice to hear that you and K found a like-minded group. I'm sorry that you haven't found this with Canadians. And I'll add my voice to ladyloo's: I've never been in love with Vancouver. The only time that I have a pang to move back to Vancouver is when I'm either running in the rain or in those moments when I imagine myself in one of those ruggedly fit-looking little fleece-wearing families with young children that one sees on the ferry to Victoria (long story). :)
from enfinblue :
Very, very interesting story about your father's family. I'm touched and struck by it, for a variety of reasons. You probably have nothing to lose by contacting them to ask the question, though of course it's a matter of whether it feels right and comfortable from your perspective.
from ladyloo :
The idea that everyone is supposed to love Vancouver cracks me up. It's an idea that I grew up with on the prairies - everyone was just waiting to move to the Big City. It's also nice to find a group of people who think the same way you do.
from harri3tspy :
That sounds like a lovely evening. I was similarly surprised by everyone's reactions to my pregnant self. I felt like everybody's good luck charm. As for Boston, I never had bad experiences when I was commuting by public transportation there, at least not that I can recall. The only story I can remember about the T is that there was a man who used to sit on the steps of the Davis Square T stop every day. Each day as I headed down the stairs to the train, I'd hear him ask each person going by, "Can I have a quarter? Can I have a quarter? Can I have a quarter?" One day, after several months of commuting, he asked me something different when I walked by. "Can I have $10,000?" I cracked up. That was the day I actually gave him a quarter. After that we always just said hi to each other. He never asked me for money again.
from artgnome :
public transportation = much observatory people watching delight for the artgnome. I hope you are feeling well and good!
from harri3tspy :
I thought Chicagoans were hopelessly rude when I first moved here with New York as my frame of reference for how cities should be. I still think they're rude compared to New Yorkers, but now I think I know why. New Yorkers are accustomed to creating personal space where there is none. There is a certain understood etiquette for how to handle being on a super crowded subway. Sure, there are idiots, but in my experience, when you're being harrassed by an idiot on the NY subway, someone will usually help you out by showing you a way out. In Chicago, everyone still drives everywhere, in part because the public transportation system sucks. When they do get in those crowded urban situations, they don't know how to behave. That's my theory, anyway. I still can't explain the 30-something guy in a business suit and nice looking coat who, when I was 5 month pregnant, shoved me so hard that I fell headlong onto the sidewalk because I apparently wasn't moving fast enough for him to be certain he'd be able to cross the street before the light turned red.
from enfinblue :
Hope you feel better. (I have a cold, too, but no one on board, obviously. :)) Ah, yoga.
from reader1209 :
Awww...I hope you feel better. Lots of fluids is all I can recommend...of course that will make you pee even more than you do now.
from harri3tspy :
I used a neti pot. It doesn't take away all the symptoms, but it definitely helps with decongesting! Good luck! And my sympathies. I had the sniffles for all nine months. My nose was glad not to be pregnant anymore!
from enfinblue :
So the clock story is enormously amusing...thanks for that.
from harri3tspy :
Hah!
from ohmegah :
when you see the name "ohmegah" whats the first thing that comes to your mind?
from enfinblue :
I love the socks story. Where are my bamboo socks? There should be people standing on the bridge to Quebec handing out socks as we brave souls ride our bikes over it. :) Anyhow. So I was just thinking...you can so totally start to kick people out of their bus seats for the next few months. Take advantage of it. :)
from enfinblue :
:)
from essaywriter :
Hey teranika thanks for the note; it's nice to know my writing struck a chord with you even though our lives are so different!
from enfinblue :
And PS: Don't you think that Wolfgang would in fact make a nice name for a house? :)
from enfinblue :
Shultze IS fantastic. I love the filming of it. It's one of C's favourite movies. We wanted to watch it last night as the inaugural film in his new living space. :) I'm so glad to be reminded to read mimismartypants again--it's been a while. She always amused me. :) And I must read the literary criticism article, although I will tell you that when I read your bit about Paul Auster and repetition conveying the decay of a mind...my thoughts spun almost instantly to my own diary. :) Enjoy the rest of your "living happily ever after" with white on white and hopefully good weather this Labour Day Monday. ;)
from enfinblue :
Wow. It sounds as though you have achieved a great deal recently. It would be quite a workload for anyone. Perhaps you just need a little bit of rest this weekend. Hoping that you feel better soon...
from artgnome :
I had a rough second trimester too, lost my appetite. Of course I was dealing with abandonment, welfare, and threats from my ex, that might have had something to do with it. I hope you are feeling better soon. I did my best to enjoy my pregnancy in spite of people trying to ruin it for me, or the health issues.
from enfinblue :
Thanks for your note and support. :) Jane Austen--excellent. I'm kind of jealous that you possess copies of all of those films. I'm going to have to augment my collection, I realize. :)
from enfinblue :
Wonderful! :) I love yoga. I'm just speculating, of course, but I can imagine that it would be a nice thing to do whilst pregnant! And when not pregnant! (I've found a studio around the corner myself, although I haven't yet gone to a session.)
from harri3tspy :
Sorry to hear about the C section. But I'm sure it's definitely better to be able to plan ahead. My friend who had an emergency C-section was caught off-guard with no one to help her around the house after she came home. I hope you're feeling better and I'm glad to hear there aren't any problems with Pat!
from enfinblue :
It sounds as though everything is good. It really is a good thing to have as few surprises as possible in these matters, I would think. And most wonderful of course is that fact that the baby is healthy. :) (Very funny family!) Have the doctors said anything about yoga? I'm not a big yoga practitioner but I quite like it. And it strikes me that gently stretching and learning new breathing techniques might be very soothing in this instance. Be well. (Oh! Yes, I'm quite sure that I have some form of travellers' syndrome. I like people and I value their experiences, but I often feel saddened by the sense of a failure to connect.)
from artgnome :
I had a C and I'm no worse the wear for it. You'll have less pain in the labor department as well. I'm keeping you in prayer and believing in all the best for you and your family!
from elgan :
An elective C-section is way easier than an emergency one. I know. I've had both. Either way, it's major surgery and they will keep you in hospital up to a week, which isn't a bad thing. It will give you some recovery time in a pampered environment. The next six weeks are considered post-surgical and you will have to take it easy, but it's not that bad, honest. Good luck!
from enfinblue :
No problem re. the productivity notes. There's a great deal more where that came from. :D You'll regret opening the floodgates.
from enfinblue :
Sorry to hear that your parents have gone. And certainly sorry to hear about the painful fibroids. Feel better! The "Pat" thing made me laugh as my thesis supervisor (a woman) was a spitting image/mimic of him/her. And so few people around me were old enough or sufficiently familiar with NA pop culture to get the joke...What do you *sense* is the sex of the baby? :)
from coldandgray :
HERE COMES PAT! Glad you got to see the little one and share with the folks, how special. Sounds like you are having a doozy of a growth spirt. It is funny, because I just posted about the same pain.
from fifidellabon :
Ah! I LOVE the Secret of Roan Innish. ( I was reading your profile) I found you through Stephanie's notes, and I shall be the one strolling through your archives, so no worries there. /Fifi
from enfinblue :
I meant the last microeconomics class that I taught (two years ago now!). And pre-Sarkozy. Gosh I'm hopelessly fatigued.. :) But still amused.
from enfinblue :
I'm still laughing... :) The comment about France is interesting. I had thought that actual, measured labour productivity remains slightly lower in France than in the U.S. (undoubtedly it is higher there than it is in Canada, as it is EVERYWHERE in the western world but Australia (I could tell you stories) ;)). My understanding was that at least as of 2006 labour productivity in France had been approaching that in the U.S., though of course because of the fewer hours worked there per person GDP per capita has not been converging towards U.S. levels. Or something like that. Canadians have historically had not only lower per hour output than Americans but have also worked far fewer hours per capita. Recent convergence between the two countries in GDP per capita has been a result of very modest Canadian gains in productivity and large increases in hours worked per person. As of 2006 we were at 94% of U.S. hours worked per person. Not the direction in which I'd like to go--I'm all for long vacations!! Although I must say that I raised this subject for discussion in the last microeconomics class and an irate Frenchwoman in the class went on a tirade about the unfairness of *mandated* limited work hours (pre Sarkozy, of course). :) I'm rambling; we can blame the two pints of Guinness I've just had on top of poor sleep lst night.
from enfinblue :
ACK. Brain function at naught at the moment. Can't wait 'til "it's" grown out. :)
from enfinblue :
OHHHH NOOOO! Poor you! I shouldn't laugh but I'm afraid that I couldn't help myself. Not good. Too true though that Canada is becoming like France with respect to August holidays; my work has been two steps forward, three steps back lately as a result. Very discouraging. Oh yes--the orange has faded a great deal in the four months since it was done. Since the under-layer was bleached as well the hair is really more of a red-blonde brown now, though the texture is awful. (Can't wait 'til its all grown out.) Good point about Robertson Davies. I was going to say that I half agree re. Irish Murdoch and then I realized that I have only ever read one of her books and so hardly qualify to state an opinion! ;)
from enfinblue :
It is SOOOO hot here that sparkling cranberry *should* be the order of the day! But I'm in denial about the end of the weekend, indeed. :) Enjoy the lovely stereo set-up, weather, and visit of your mother!
from enfinblue :
You're lovely--thanks so much for the inspiration! I'm actually doing quite well and feeling happy, I think in part because I realize deep inside that what you say about the timing thing is true. I feel patient... :) Have a great day!
from enfinblue :
PS I don't know anything about pregnancy, of course, but I don't think you should hesitate for one second to question your doctor if you don't agree with or feel concerned about her advice. Take care. :)
from enfinblue :
OK So I just laughed my head off over this entry. Oh the trials...
from coldandgray :
ah, the Myrtles of the world are many. For the doctor to tell you not to gain more than 10 pounds for the rest of your pregnancy is absurd. Skinny woman should gain 30 - 40 lbs, heavier women like me should gain about 20. This will decrease the risk of delivering a low-birth-weight baby. and I thought they did not tell you the baby's sex in Canada until birth anyway. I had a US at 15 weeks & she saw some male parts, which were confirmed at 20 weeks. Sometimes the baby does not cooperate and show its stuff, so be prepared. Good luck with all the fun stuff. Glad the screening came out negative. YAY!
from toastcrumbs :
Blue ink? What the heck were you thinking with the blue ink? I would just like to say that if you could hire me and submit two copies of my paperwork that would get me paid two paychecks every week that I would buy you lots and lots of blue ink pens. Seriously, lots of them.
from harri3tspy :
Oh, I hope her real name is Myrtle, because that makes the story all the better. I'm going to have to rent that movie again VERY soon. If, that is, I can find a copy in this godforsaken part of the world.
from enfinblue :
Thanks again for the ideas! I will definitely be using them soon...probably this weekend. Just my cup of tea. And re. the potato: I'd say a workhorse like the Yukon gold. :)
from coldandgray :
I love your kitties; I have two cats also, but they are pacifists. Your first trimester seemed like it was a breeze, no morning sickness? The second trimester is supposedly the easiest. I am nearing the 3rd & beginning to get uncomfortable.
from reader1209 :
Looove the pics of the cats...and the pansies are beautiful. P.S. thanks a bunch for all your messages the last little while. I do feel so much better about everything...I hope this isn't the way my hormones are going to work from now on...*sigh*
from enfinblue :
What cute cats. And I love the garden. I *really* need some flowers. :) Thanks so much for your excellent suggestions--I unfortunately got them too late but you can be sure that they are going in my trusty little book and will be pulled out next time! This time, it turned out to be all about the cheese... :)
from artgnome :
What pretty little camera hams! And I think your pansies are just lovely!
from artgnome :
Cats have a way of keeping the homefire solitude more interesting, don't they? hah.
from ladyloo :
North Dakota does exist, but, speaking as someone who has visited and proven its existence, I'd pretty much avoid visiting, if you can.
from enfinblue :
The August long weekend--variously named it would seem in different provinces!--is pretty much the biggest weekend of the year (apart from Queen Vic's B-Day and the Labour Day weekend). It really *is* the weekend of grilling and cottages and so on. Many people take their summer holidays to surround this particular weekend, which explains the lack of admin staff in your office since Wednesday, and the fact that I could bowl through my office in all directions and not hit anyone. ;)
from harri3tspy :
This is a job for Buttle, er Tuttle!
from enfinblue :
You can absolutely get a cheap pair of flip-flops. And since you aim to use them at the pool to avoid nasty things I wholeheartedly approve... :) I would say that a swimwear shop would be a good source for a decent pair.
from coldandgray :
Ducts always make me think of Brazil. Also, extreme plastic surgery.
from enfinblue :
That barely made any sense. I need to grab some lunch and get the brain working again. ;) Hope you're having a nice day and feeling well.
from enfinblue :
I agree, too, that we always need to stop and be pleased with what we *do* have. As for housing, I'm not much of an expert. There are definite similarities in the markets, for sure. At the same time some of the incentives are different. We can't deduct mortgage interest from our taxes here, for example. So that changes things. And in both places there are big regional factors at work. In thinking about the Ottawa market I'm relying on the demographic shift--rather than thoughts of a bubble as I would were I living in Toronto. We're anticipating a big wave of retirements of baby boomers from the public service, and given their preference for condos and recreational properties I'm hoping that the cool, old single-family homes will soon be swamping the market. Of course there will be hiring to replace these boomers...The market here has changed recently given the bust in the high-tech sector--the only other major employer here beyond government in this town--that has led to bit of an exodus of young professionals. The dynamics in Vancouver are unfortunately different. But perhaps you don't want to stay in Vancouver. :) I'd be interested to hear of K's observations on the situation there. Sorry--that was LONG. :)
from enfinblue :
Oh that's heartbreaking! I love the overgrown...I think that's why I loved living in Australia so much--the profusion of greenery and scent that would literally envelop one on every street.
from artgnome :
It is difficult to be surrounded by those who do not share our perspective or value what we value. I understand your disappointment. I would take natural beauty over suburban sprawl any day. I hope you are feeling and doing well.
from harri3tspy :
My condolences on the bureaucratic idiocy, but thanks for reminding me of Brazil, which I haven't seen in years but loved enough to see twice in a row when it first came out. I went a third time to take my mom and we still have assorted Brazil-related vocabulary with "Ducts!" being the somewhat surreal comment that gets thrown around in situations such as the one in which you've found yourself in the lab. Also, I love ULP. It sounds a little like UFO, which seems right, especially since late in my pregnancy, watching my belly wobble seemingly of its own accord, I felt like nothing more than an extra in an Alien movie.
from elgan :
Next time we meet, remind me to tell you how horrible Little Princess' delivery was, all right? Seriously though, that's insane. I pity the boy. He must have absolutely no pesonality. Poor kid.
from artgnome :
agh, how is it that I share the same name with such a horrible person! sorry bout that.
from enfinblue :
PS I'm going to have to put you in touch with my friend in Vancouver who really enjoyed her labour when she gave birth last year. :)
from enfinblue :
You know, all this makes me feel is so sad that someone as pleasant to be with as I am can't find a husband... :)
from coldandgray :
ew, ew and ew! Good luck holding your tongue, she sounds so spoiled. Speaking of Whistler, we are going this weekend for our anniversary (I was inspired by your last trip). Any MUST sees?
from dandlioneyes :
Congratulations, m'dear, on the baby! :-) How did I miss that? Oh, that swoosh swoosh heartbeat is just beautiful, oder? All my best, I'm so glad for you two.
from artgnome :
I was overweight (as always) when I got pregnant, and between the ex from hell leaving me homeless and craving healthy foods, I lost 25lbs when pregnant. Welcome home, lovey.
from elgan :
Welcome home!
from enfinblue :
Oh that is disappointing! Sorry to hear that.
from artgnome :
everything happens for a reason. maybe you are being protected from being somewhere at the wrong time. it will all work out, i'm sure. traveling mercies and protection over you, I'm praying.
from artgnome :
It sounds like you are getting a wonderful rest with all your favorite things, which after this past year you really deserve. Keep up the good not working! xo
from ladyloo :
Carbon credits! What a great gift idea! Hope you're having a good time in Europe.
from enfinblue :
Congratulations on your success and feelings of peace. :) Enjoy the rest of the journey and take care.
from elgan :
Good job!
from artgnome :
It's so nice to see you being appreciated somewhere! Yay for Europe! Prayers for your good health and safety. xo
from f-i-n :
Yikes! Be careful with those stairs....
from coldandgray :
I flew 2 hours to CA at 16 weeks & I thought I was going to die from discomfort. Have fun, but BE CAREFUL ON THE STAIRS! AAAH!
from enfinblue :
Enjoy yourself and please don't fall again!
from elgan :
Hurrah! Jolly old England! Don't go falling down any more stairs, please.
from artgnome :
stairs or no, I envy you for being in the UK! I was only in Scotland, Aberdeen, once in 2002. I would love to get over the pond once again someday. xo and hope you feel better and enjoy your trip!
from coldandgray :
I love that. I am going to buy myself some carbon credits and about a jillion for John Travolta & his private jet he flies daily.
from enfinblue :
PS And you're quite right that we shouldn't feel guilty about not always liking what we think we should. I just felt badly because I was awfully impatient and she was clearly frail, unhappy and troubled. :(
from enfinblue :
Excellent gift idea. I'd been thinking about this myself but wasn't sure how to select an organization. Great to know. :)
from enfinblue :
Now that's funny. Sounds like a good decision. And thanks for your kind and insightful comment... :)
from artgnome :
I'm with your friends and family on that one. I was waddling at four months! hah!
from elgan :
Good decision.
from enfinblue :
Thanks for your note. I'm OK. Oh that is so heartbreaking re. your former colleague..
from coldandgray :
I hear ya on the crying jag (so sorry about your former colleague, now I am crying). Heavenly Creatures is one of my fave films. Here is an interesting website that chronicles the crime: http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Studio/2194/
from blighty :
I had to leave this part as a separate note. I am so sorry to hear about your colleague. A lost friend is worth many tears.
from blighty :
For a woman who only wears a bra out of habit and not necessity, I found real joy in buying bras ending in B. Not so much joy two months later buying more bras in C, but what can you do?
from elgan :
I had to ask. So many pregnant women rejoice at adding a cup size. I personally was upset that I had to go out and actually spend money on bras that I would only wear for a short time.
from elgan :
I'm so sad about your former colleague. I never understand these things. Is it tears of sorrow or of happiness you are crying for your bra size?
from blighty :
Sand is Bad? Why is sand bad? Is young mud bad? Maybe only old mud is good. Perhaps you should test a sampling of young Marines on their knowledge of mud, or sand, or any natural substance whatsoever...
from elgan :
That is the single most uplifting kind of reward a prof can get. You are very lucky. Good show!
from reader1209 :
Oh...now I feel bad that I didn't say much the same thing to my 3rd grade teacher when she was found still teaching at the same school when I brought my daughter for her first day. Although, in fairness to me, when she was retiring I told her I'd pay her all the money I owned if she would just stay one more year and teach my kids...hmmm...maybe I should look her up and let her know she made a difference.
from enfinblue :
Sorry that you've been feeling not-so-well. (Very amusing anecdote re. the border, by the way.) And lovely letter! Definitely return to it whenever you are feeling blue. :)
from elgan :
I am reminded of when my husband and I returned to Canada after living in the US for four years, and having to remind the border guards at the Manitoba/N.Dakota crossing that they needed to see my vehicle registration, etc. They were so incredibly clued out. They didn't ask us to open our van, which make me think we could have brought back all the lovely plants we'd had to find homes for before we left Ann Arbor.
from reader1209 :
yup...that's pregnancy all right. When I was with child I would sleep 10 hours, wake up, eat breakfast and within an hour an a half be down for an hour long nap...lather, rinse, repeat through out the day. THAT gigantic "I'm exhausted feeling was how I KNEW I was pregnant the second time even when the tests said no. It does get a little better later on. :)
from enfinblue :
Ha! My stupidity! How funny--I never thought to interpret it that way. (And me raised by a market and veg. growing mother, insistent only on local produce...: ))
from blighty :
Sorry today is tough- put your feet up. It sounds like you walked a lot yesterday - and the farmer's market sounds great- but could be why you are whacked today. xxx
from artgnome :
I am sorry you are not feeling well today. Elevate your feet, have some tea, breathe deep and think of the wonderful little life you are nurturing. I am praying for your comfort and for peace upon you.
from enfinblue :
But you probably knew that already. I've always wanted to explore the interior of BC and have not done it. I think first I need to get up to the Haida Gwaii...
from enfinblue :
Hmm...Wonder if they were meaning a dinner here http://www.bcadventure.com/adventure/explore/cariboo/cities/100mile.htm that night? It's about a 5 and a half hour drive from Vancouver, I believe.
from enfinblue :
Gee, that sounds great (except for the intense fatigue. :( I miss the organic market near my parents' former home in Guelph...I do hope that the diplomatic email does the trick--fingers crossed. As for S...I'd be all over that if there were any realistic chance that I could move to Boston. :( Hope you feel well and energetic today.
from elgan :
I love those kinds of farmers' markets.
from enfinblue :
You'd be amazed though--kind of like the pain of childbirth :), people forget and come back. We know from administrative (tax) records that return rates are high, even for immigrants who arrive and depart within the first year after arrival. Of course for many people there is likely a family dimension that is the dominant motivator...:)
from enfinblue :
For *some* reason it is a personal comfort to me to see the word amazing next to bureacracy. ;)
from enfinblue :
It is so true! (about the mushrooms ;)). But I don't care--this summer is for drawing, reading, thinking, running, smiling. Perhaps I'll even take up film-making. Have you tried Stash lemon ginger? If not, I highly recommend it. I also bought a pomegranate and green tea that I like recently (although you are possibly avoiding the caffeine in green tea). Hmm...now I must guess your second-favourite...
from enfinblue :
OK, so no experience with pregnancy here. But I am a coffee lover and I will say that whenever I want another and don't want to indulge I am very happy with a cup of lemon ginger herbal tea. So perhaps finding a nice, caffeine-free replacement...Of course that doesn't help with the peeing bit...but a substantial undergarment might. ;)
from coldandgray :
The constant peeing is one of the hard parts, but it will get a little better in the second trimester...but possibly worse in the 3rd! I am about ready to invest in a catheter.
from elgan :
Beautiful plants! I have still not dug up my backyard plot, and I had better do so soon, but my other job is consuming all my time at present. Still, it must be done, before all the best tomato plants are taken from the nursery. My burgmansia needs to be put in the ground as well. Argh! Too much work!
from enfinblue :
Lovely! I so crave a place to garden (no terrace, unfortunately). And to live in a zero-energy house would be divine...My mother is an avid gardener and to her EVERYTHING is a planter: teapots, antique washtubs, old Singer sewing machine stands, you name it. Such lovely photos you've posted! Go chives!
from artgnome :
I had the same problem with meditation, until I began to do my workouts or walks with meditative music in my headphones. I have found that the rhythm of my body's movement and such help me to stay awake, alert and motivated in great meditation. You may want to give it a try.
from enfinblue :
Jane Fonda! I like that! You were too kind to read and comment on the meanderings of a drunk woman! Now a hung over woman. And you meditate like I do, although you will master it I am sure. The only time that I can ever do it reasonably well is out in nature, completely away from ADLers and DLers alike. :)
from coldandgray :
guess what? me, too!
from enfinblue :
Forgot the smiley on that last sentence... :)
from enfinblue :
Lovely, lovely entry. We have similar work habits. I linger at work in part because I like the transition to quiet that happens after 4 p.m. And I love the mornings, but must be forced to experience them by factors outside of myself. By the way, Schubertstrasse is such a lovely name (spoken as an addict to Schubert's piano music)! Also, my favourite expression is "blood memory," though of course it implies something different than that of which you wrote. I think.
from blighty :
Yay! Can I tell my parents???? I agree - I think the benefits in Canada will far outweigh any the stingy workaholic Americans would ever give you. I can only remember the look on the Texas lawyers' faces when I told them that I was pregnant for the second time, and yes, in the UK, I was entitled to a second maternity leave. Hilarious. Mazel Tov!!!!!!
from elgan :
Mazal tov!
from coldandgray :
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A humongous congratulations to you & your husband!!!! What great news, T!
from artgnome :
all my best and hearty congratulations to you! I hope you are sleeping and feeling well and good. :)
from enfinblue :
That's good to hear! I couldn't see why your mat leave would be unpaid! Hopefully the HR people will be able to help you to maximize your family earnings over the period.
from enfinblue :
Most of this stuff is totally irrelevant for you, but in case you are curious: http://www.canadabenefits.gc.ca/faeclist.jsp?lang=en&catid=1&geo=1
from enfinblue :
I don't mean at all to intrude, and I'm not sure I understand why your mat leave would be unpaid (and I'm sure you know this :), but if your income is reduced by 40% or more and you have worked 600 hours in the last 52 weeks you are entitled to maternity and parental benefits, for 50 weeks: http://www.hrsdc.gc.ca/asp/gateway.asp?hr=en/ei/types/special.shtml&hs=tyt#Maternity3. Not sure what the top-ups situation would be at your university. I'm no expert so do tell me to be quiet if I'm being a pain. :)
from enfinblue :
Wow! A gigantic congratulations. I'm very happy for you. And thanks so much for your kindness. :) Enjoy your trip out.
from enfinblue :
Oh good grief may the grammar and writing police strike me down! I've just returned from a poetry slam competition and my eyes are drooping from fatigue. :)
from enfinblue :
Dear t., I can't believe I posted that grammatically horrific entry today. It was posted through a flood of tears. I cried my way through last night and today. But I think it was my way of finally healing myself up from the Larry thing. I neeeded to unleash those feelings. I'm not honestly as crazy as I might have seemed. I appreciate though your kind remark re. the coccooning. I believe sincerely that is true of some people, and I generally try not to beat myself up for needed that time. I've been doing it periodically since I was a teenager. OK. I'm good! Really good! And I'd love to have coffee with you were I in Vancouver. In person I'm actually quite sane and interesting, I think. It's in my diary that I get a bit wonky. But then if one can't be wonky in a diary... :) Oh yes! I have heard of the anti-consumers. I go in phases re. that sort of thing and I generally approve of it.
from elgan :
Hubby had a theory professor as an undergrad who told the story of a friend of his who was tired of all the bullshit at the institution where he taught. He asked him if things were any better at his university, maybe he could go there. Bob told him, find a place where you like the climate because there's bullshit everywhere.
from artgnome :
I hear what you are saying. I don't like living in Rochester, but know this is the only option right now. I study my environment and work on ways to fit into it when I have to. You know what they say, "bloom where you're planted."
from enfinblue :
PS Sorry! I didn't mean that note to be all about me. But I think I understand precisely where you are sitting at the moment and I appreciate how discouraging it can be. You deserve much, much better and I hope that you can figure out a way to make a transition to a more satisfying situation. PPS Queen Victoria named Ottawa the capital of Canada, so I suppose that is ONE reason to celebrate her B-Day. It's really just an excuse for a holiday, plus Canada was SUCH a British country (outside of Quebec), until about 1975...and SO many loyal royalists remain. Though they are gradually dying off. Good grief I seriously remember singing God Save the Queen at the start of the day in primary school. Seriously. :)
from enfinblue :
I'm really quite concerned for you. I know what it feels like to be a fish out of water. The topics that you like to discuss are precisely the ones that interest me. I rarely admit this but I hated living in Vancouver for the same reason, and I felt quite adrift and...isolated when I was running seriously. In my life now, too, I measure up the degree to which I feel like myself around the people in my life. With Larry, for example, I felt I could be about 70% me. With Stewart, recently, maybe 85%. When I was running the number was probably down at about 30%. Unfortunately one simply can't live that way for very long...
from artgnome :
Yeah, I'm praying for some kind of better fit for you, job-wise. I think that there HAS to be something better.
from drgeek :
'Twas my pleasure to send that article along. I've been looking for just such an article for some months now, and it I wanted to be sure that it was as good as it looked. Thanks!
from artgnome :
Lovely garden, with a super-sized carrot to boot!
from harri3tspy :
Lovely!
from enfinblue :
Ooh. I'm sorry I missed that! :)
from artgnome :
Thank you for all the encouragement and empathy. It helps to know that people truly understand the dilemma. best to you today.
from enfinblue :
Yeah re. the productivity yesterday. Sounds like such a nice turnaround from the last few months. As for the shooting...definitely sounds targeted. Not a common occurrence, so don't worry. :)
from blighty :
I cannot offer any advice about soap, but I can say that persistent spraying of a strong solution of water and dishwashing liquid keeps the aphids off my philadelphus (my favorite favorite plant, infested every stinking year).
from coldandgray :
I like the switch to spring on your site. Also, I just booked my Whistler hotel for July. YAY! (poor strawberries!)
from elgan :
I don't know if you'll find Dr. Bronners soap. The equivalent here is Safer's soap. It is fantastic for getting rid of aphids.
from harri3tspy :
We are so overrun with ladybugs here, that aphids aren't usually a problem. If you would prefer ladybugs to aphids, you can buy some of your own at gardensalive.com, my preferred choice for environmentally friendly pest control, composting products, etc. Good luck!
from enfinblue :
HAAAAA. OK. Now the toilet sign thing is funny. I would totally have done something like that. The sign, not the re-taping thing. As you can probably tell, I am not the most fastidious of persons. So thanks again for the cut suggestion--very perceptive, given one sight of a photograph. Hmmm about the sore spots. Could be at the attachment points of soft tissue to bones. Hope they feel better soon. :) PS I'm going to have to ask you at some point--once I have more hair--for some advice re. proper hair colouring... :)
from enfinblue :
Thanks again so much for taking the time to suggest a hairstyle. You don't even know me and yet I think it's a great choice! (Very perceptive of you...) As for massages, well, since the massuese breaks up scar tissue you are actually supposed to be sore afterwards, with the soreness peaking two days later! (It's a good kind of sore, actually. :))
from coldandgray :
ooh, Whistler, I want to go. I might go in the summer off season, still so pretty, I am sure. Hope you had a glorious vacation.
from harri3tspy :
As a fellow chorister, I thought you'd appreciate this link that a friend and college choir-mate sent to me this afternoon. Truly hilarious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-ZnPE3G_YY
from enfinblue :
Thanks so much! That definitely looks like a good option, and very close to what I would choose. Some of the pieces are a bit long but I'll see what the hairdresser says. I just can't believe I have to wait another six weeks before I can do it...But lordy I do not want to go back to another hairdresser in the near future. In more important commentary, I liked your entry a great deal. I don't think I'll test my wisdom at this moment, however, as the result might just put me over the edge. :)
from artgnome :
I'm glad to hear that you've been on holiday, you have most certainly earned some time away. :)
from enfinblue :
ACK! We're kindred spirits. Everyone in Montreal seems to love the Sunday "tam tam" or all-day drumming at the base of the mountain. The entire time that I lived a block away from this and tried to work in summer with the windows open it DROVE. ME. NUTS. I really don't see the appeal of repetitive drumming, either...but then I don't understand the appeal of pot...and the two go hand in hand it seems.
from enfinblue :
Oops! Hope that was at least somewhat understandable. I haven't yet had my coffee and as you know I am particularly fond of stream-of-consciousness... :)
from enfinblue :
You know, this is going to sound really silly and naive of me, but I'm at a point at which I find analyses and comparisons of differences in different places silly. (They've always been unfortunate!) I realized after I left Australia that I spent half of my time living there feeling alienated and taking particular note of all of the cultural ticks that I found irksome. (I did the same and then some when I lived in Montreal, and in retrospect I realize that it greatly impaired the pleasure that I could have experienced in living there (with pleasure being derived as much from difficulty and confusion as from adventure and beauty).) After leaving Australia I realized simply that in the end we have an equally large panoply of irksome ticks here, with the only difference being that I've had much more time to grow to acceptance or even complacency with them. I don't know exactly what I'm saying :), but I guess in part It's almost that you might as well laugh (and not be afraid to tick a few people off occasionally by being completely honest). :) (Which I think you do! (the laughing part, at least) :))
from enfinblue :
Thanks for your note, t! Neurotic!? Me?! :) I'm too embarrassed to take photos, though I tried somewhat unsuccessfully this morning. I wish I could cut it all off right away, but bald would not be a good look for the start of my job. :(
from elgan :
Living in Vancouver, as you do, presents a cultural experience unlike anywhere else in Canada. It was evident when you said you watch the patrons light up their joints at the café across the street. Maybe people smoke more pot now than they did before it was decriminalized, but I never see anyone smoking it openly here in Sherbrooke. You certainly wouldn’t in Toronto (although you might in Montreal, but somehow I doubt it). To the rest of Canada, British Columbia is “Lala Land”. We look upon it with a certain amount of admiration and dismiss it as still being a hippy commune.
from enfinblue :
I don't *get* this security problem either. It's so wasteful and stupid. I have not had this experience at any other university. At my last university, in fact, we had to pay for security cards in order to access every layer of the building in which we had our labs. This was overkill, perhaps, but necessary given the presence of so much expensive equipment. It really sounds as though you are at a dud of a university (in terms of administration). So sorry. I wish I could somehow help to make your current life easier and more enjoyable.
from boxx9000 :
I was cracking up about your dream where you were conducting a symphony. Last night I woke up from a dream in a panic because I thought it was so real. (I had been YELLING at student of mine who is the child of another teacher at school) It took me awhile to realise it had only been a dream. It really shook me up.
from artgnome :
wow. I would not be able to work in that frustrating of an environment. I'd be looking for a better fit. but that's just me, I suck in stressful situations.
from elgan :
On April 20, both my kids were celebrating cannabis culture at a private party. Cam wore the T-shirt his friend brought him back from Amsterdam, the one with the large marijuana leaf emblazoned on the front. You may not be able to drink beer at Wreck Beach, but you can go naked without fear of arrest.
from harri3tspy :
My condolences. I don't know how you can work under those conditions. Doesn't the university have a vested interest in the security of their researchers' labs? Yikes.
from enfinblue :
Oh gee. I am so sorry. What a complete pain in the arse. I do hope that this can be dealt with once and for all. I have no connection with that administration of course but I feel personally embarrassed for them!
from enfinblue :
I really did appreciate the offer. I have no idea how things will go with this guy, but should they not go anywhere... Thanks again! PS May I suggest a bank, if you are able to switch? (TD Can. Trust) :)
from enfinblue :
That was beautiful. Just beautiful.
from dandlioneyes :
That WAS neat. I have no idea if I could write to my 19-year old self. I was such a different person back then. As Harriet said, I doubt I'd have listened...
from harri3tspy :
This was sweet. I'm wondering if I am still well enough acquainted with me at nineteen to pull this off. But I'm pretty sure that my ninteen-year-old self wouldn't have listened to my thirty-nine-year-old self anyhow.
from elgan :
Congratulations on finding your samples. I knew they would show up. It was just a matter of you having given up hope completely, and then POOF! there they would be. It works like that every time.
from artgnome :
I can only imagine. Governments having a way of complicating things to the point of brain overload. I don't think they even understand all their red tape!
from dandlioneyes :
Oh good grief, that's awful about the taxes. UGH!
from harri3tspy :
Thanks for the reality check. I'll stop feeling sorry for myself about my taxes now. Good luck!
from elgan :
Happy Oester.
from elgan :
Congratulations on the wedding anniversary. It's funny how the sciences are so male dominant. We were at a physics department party the other night (math and computer science were also represented) and there were maybe 20 guys and four girls, three of them actual students (my daughter was one of them). None of the profs had brought wives or girlfriends (even though I know that at least one of them has one), and when I asked my daughter why the male students hadn't brought girlfriends, she gave me a look that implied that nerdy science students simply don't have girlfriends. There is an imbalance. It'll take a while before it is corrected. Meanwhile, the white middle-aged scientists are being replaced by Asian middle-aged scientists.
from enfinblue :
Definitely disturb shit! Go for it! (I'm sorry about the situation with your mother. Boy can I relate.)
from enfinblue :
I'm really happy for you that that class is over, and I do hope that something better comes along next year. :) Thanks, too, for your note! I'm doing well. I just had a brief lapse. But your story about K. did NOT help. Thanks a bunch. ;) I'm looking to move on at this point, but if at some point some significant changes occur...He *is* special in many ways. But as they say one should never take on a project...and in his case I'm attracted mostly to his untapped potential. :( Not a good thing.
from artgnome :
woo hoo fer YOU! I can hear the relief!
from enfinblue :
:)
from artgnome :
oh my...that's not good. it's the bane of all my professors,the grading.
from enfinblue :
Oh no! How horrific! And I can only imagine the quality of the papers! (Grading was always my worst nightmare, as I believe it is for everyone ever paid to do it...and I mean ever.) :) Don't beat yourself up about not running. Everything gets done in good time. And the summer in Vancouver is lovely for running--dry and not too hot. You'll have a blast. Biking and hiking there of course are wonderful, too. I may see you out there in either May or June...I was hatching something of a plan with my former coach and another old friend today. :)
from artgnome :
validation is a wonderful thing. you can also get a free comments system from blogtools.com
from reader1209 :
I, too, have that "get over it" feeling and I, for the most part, am successful in hiding it. I always wonder if that makes me a stronger person than others or if I am just somehow disconnected in some weird way. Hmmm.
from enfinblue :
I'm rolling on the floor laughing. :) As you can well imagine, the rigamarole that you describe mimics my job acquisition process with the federal government. I spent today faxing my pay stubs across the Ottawa RIVER, i.e. three miles from my department to another department, to prove my current level and rate of pay. Sigh. Canada. Land of the silver birch, home of the beaver...Incidentally, the TEXTBOOK guy made me howl with laughter today--in light of your comment of yesterday--by emailing me this morning to inform me of his imminent departure for a ski trip, and his desire to call me when he returns. Sigh again.
from artgnome :
don't you just HATE government red tape? No matter where you are, it's always annoying. Necessary, a lot of times, but annoying. Hope you are feeling better these days.
from elgan :
Ha ha ha ha! You poor, poor people, having to put up with such invasive investigations. By the way, since you *are* in Canada, it's a security check, but it's a cashier's cheque. We may accept the dropping of the "u" in words like colour and honour, but a bank draft is never a check.
from enfinblue :
Thanks for the notes and the congrats (not firm yet, unfortunately, but should be so, soon (crossing fingers))! The cold and nosebleed thing sounds awful. That's never happened to me, in fact. Yikes. Hope you feel better soon.
from enfinblue :
Excellent, excellent entry. I was generalizing (grossly) and I apologize if I offended you. I just meant though that when people are gifted and priveleged they sometimes haven't had an experience that underlines for them the raw human capital disadvantages with which some people are burdened. I guess the thing that attracted me to academic life is that school always felt like a safe and welcoming place; I never wanted to leave. It was only when I did leave that I began to really understand the true limitations of whatever talents I possessed (and, as a result, to feel empathy for those with capabilities traversing the spectrum). Cheers.
from enfinblue :
Oops! I didn't mean to suggest that all people who have not done anything else are doomed to be terrible colleagues. My favourite uncle was the youngest Ph.D. grad ever at the university at which he still teaches and he is one of the kindest, most collegial people whom I've ever met; you can't learn that in a job. What you stated though is exactly what I meant about some particularly priveleged and talented people: they would benefit from walking a mile in the shoes of someone well-meaning but much less naturally gifted in a particular field of study. When I decided to leave my program I sat down for a coffee with the individual whom I mentioned earlier--who was the grad director but who was so disconnected from the students that I'd literally never had a full conversation with him in my years at the school (and for that appointment he had showed up nearly an hour late)--and the first thing that he told me was that he wasn't particularly interested in what I had to say about my supervisor's theft of my work or her abusiveness, since her brother is an old friend of his from school. End of story. He proceeded to, whilst munching disinterestedly on a muffin, state something like that it was best to cut my losses and look for a job. (To which I replied something to the effect of "Spoken like a guy who has never had to cut any losses and look for a job with a partially-finished degree." It was horrifying. Anyhow. Such is life. No regrets. :)
from enfinblue :
I suspect that people in academia are slightly more tenacious about being *right*. I worked in the private sector for only a year or two, and otherwise have worked for the Canadian government for nearly nine years (ouch!). There's so much apathy in the latter environment that it probably can't be compared with any academic department with which I've become familiar. :) I said what I said in relation to academics often not having had "real" jobs almost entirely in reference to this one particular jerk in my last department. That guy had gone straight through from undergrad to a scholarship to Oxford, to an academic job. This guy had seriously never done anything else. And man oh man would he have benefited from having had to work in an environment in which negotiation with people with a much wider range of skills and interests had been required. It is true that money guides some decisions in other environments. At the same time, the goals of most organizations can only be met through effective team work...and one's success in team work usually factors directly into appraisals. I don't know. I'm speculating, as usual. I missed my daily dose of camembert and am feeling lightheaded. :)
from enfinblue :
Good point about the power base in academe. I hadn't thought of it that way. And another good point, too, re. marriages. I'm a conciliator, a conflict-avoider, so I suppose that explains my bewilderment at the willingness of some people to place ideas above relationships. :) I mean, I can understand in the case of a huge idea like the reasonability of certain kinds of torture, or about the truth of global warming, or something like that...but over whether this guy or that guy is at the margin a slightly better though still middling labour economist... :)
from enfinblue :
Seriously joking about the *real job* bit. :)
from enfinblue :
Please don't take offense to this--I'm not specifically referring to your friends--but it seems to me that factionalization is a huge problem in many academic departments. My bias from my experience in econ. departments and via stories of the entomology and genetics departments in which my favourite aunt and uncle teach is that academics should be forced to take training in compromise, negotiation...anything to build EQ, perspective. :) In the last department in which I studied, for example, there are two guys who have offices three doors down from each other, and the one guy hasn't passed the other in the hallway without pretending to spit--for over THIRTY years--over a petty administrative dispute. My supervisor refused to speak to one of his colleagues for two years because the other had nixed his preferred candidate for a labour position. My theory about some academics is that the problem is -- and this is especially true of the very talented ones--that they have never before had to hold down a real job. :) (Crossing fingers, hoping that you are not too offended by my facile analysis. :))
from enfinblue :
I enjoyed yesterday's entry and musing...Feel better! :)
from artgnome :
sorry you are ill. hope you feel much better soon! chamomile tea is the best when I feel sick. you can also get a free comments system from blogtools.com, that's what I use. :)
from enfinblue :
I mean that you would know better than I do what this stuff is all about... :) My knowledge is about a mile wide and an inch deep. :)
from enfinblue :
Glad you had a good week! Thanks, too, for the good wishes. I haven't actually heard yet about the job--am waiting on tenter hooks--but still it was a rotten day. As for multi-tasking, I'm sure that being a scientist you were hinting at this, but my understanding is that women on average have more integrated brains than do men. I saw a documentary once in which they were talking about the fact that some gay men have brain circuitry that looks more like that of women, which is profoundly interesting...I think it was a British piece. Anyhow. I'm sure I'm telling you something that you already know...only better. :) Go get that cheese!!
from enfinblue :
Thank you! You're so lovely. And the sofa sounds great. Enjoy Bandy's visit. :)
from enfinblue :
I absolutely have not lost respect for you. They deserve to be put to good use, I think. :)
from enfinblue :
You're so funny. Incidentally, whenever I have good news about anything, Claus sends me quick notes stating only "EXCELLEEEENT!" :)
from boxx9000 :
Hi, I came by way of kitchenlogic. I read your entry about hearing your Dad's voice on an old answering machine tape. My Dad has been gone 8 years. I would love to have a recording of my Dad's voice. It must have been a weird feeling to hear it tho.
from enfinblue :
Oh I do hope so! You seem to have done some wonderfully constructive things today. I feel that I have done the same, although worry wort C. has put some doubts in my head about the two interviews that I have completed to date and only partially aced as a result of anxiety attacks during the tests...and hence the risk that I will not have a job in June. ACK. It seems I remove one worry and replace it with another. Yes, let's do hope that the end of Feb. brings with it the end of dreary, unpleasant life circumstances. :)
from enfinblue :
:)
from enfinblue :
Thanks so much for your thoughtful words, as always. I *know* that you are correct and that I was trying to force a square peg into a round hole. I hope that I one day find someone with whom the fit is natural and easy. :)
from alicewonders :
Hmm.. Your entry said that you disabled your notes, and yet here I am. Anyway, I don't like popping into new diaries, reading multiple entries, and then not saying *hi*. So... hi. I came in via kitchenlogic and will stick around to read more. I keep thinking I'd like to teach graduate courses in education someday when I'm ready for something new; your last few entries have me wondering if I'm remembering what college students are really like, though. Thanks for sharing.
from enfinblue :
I'm so sorry that things are so tough right now. Hopefully it IS primarily hormones. Feel better.
from enfinblue :
ACK. I forgot to thank you profusely for your description of your favourite sunny day activity in NY. My friend and I are excited about following your route!!!
from enfinblue :
I'm wondering if the fatigue could be related to the running that you've been doing lately. It's new. And the rule of thumb that we have is that when you are training it is good to ramp up for a few weeks and then cut back drastically for a week (as in do less than half of what you would normally do, with at least four days of rest). The idea is then to build up to a slightly higher level in the next 3-5 week block, and then take another rest week. Repeat. :)
from enfinblue :
Cheeeeeeese! (Glad to know about that shop!)
from enfinblue :
Now that entry cracked me up! I am rather attached to some funny things, too, though. For example, my completely stained (with blood--eew), one-heel-squashed racing flats from my best marathon. They sit in a place of honour in my bedroom, and gross out all who enter that hallowed chamber. :)
from enfinblue :
I think it is wonderful that you put yourself out there and *asked* for the feedback. It's brave to do that. Whether or not your current job is the best fit for you, there is no question that you are striving for growth through it--and what a wonderful way to live. How odd that a departmental seminar was scheduled to be only 30 minutes! I can't imagine!
from enfinblue :
WOW!!!! That's wonderful. Evidence of the great effort and care that you put into mentoring that student. What a wonderful gift you have given her.
from enfinblue :
PPS Thanks for the comments re. New York. The trip is not yet confirmed but hopefully will take place at some point in February or in early March. Also, I forgot to mention that I enjoyed the Kyoto article--thanks very much.
from enfinblue :
Thanks for your note! I AM feeling optimistic about everything. This is by choice, mostly. The thing is that I'm slowly learning to enjoy the things that are happening, as they happen. :) As for the run...I want to tell you that you have plenty of time and that from what you're doing a 10k in April seems perfectly reasonable. And don't be afraid to take rest days whenever you need them. It seems a daunting distance but really it only requires a small amount of consistent training; and there is certainly no shame in alternating the running and walking. At the same time, doing a 5k in June is a perfectly reasonable alternative, if you feel more comfortable with that selection. I'd say that you should do whatever you feel in your gut you will *enjoy* most. (PS You've inspired me to put a little bit of Mr. Darcy back into my life. :) And I'm glad that you found the article interesting!)
from enfinblue :
Fantastic about the running! Sounds like a fabulous day.
from artgnome :
yeah, the lazy students ratings are pretty obvious. I know the school pretty well though, and sometimes it's a real help.
from enfinblue :
I haven't been in exactly the same position before, but in a similar one. I suspect that once you read the paper and then step back from the data for a little bit the way forward will be clear to you. There simply must be much more that can be done with this data than has already been done. :) I'm sorry if I sound preachy and don't really have the credentials to be so, but it strikes me that something useful to do might be to step back and treat yourself at this moment as though you were the high school student that you mentored, a grad student, a colleague...Be kind to yourself, if you can possibly manage to be so at this point. Cheers. (Hope I haven't offended with this note. I've just spent so much time beating myself up for my incompetence that I hate to see clearly more accomplished people do the same. It hurts me to think of it, actually. :)) PS Your cool observation about the time that you have spent running with K recently (K-snacking!) has almost certainly helped me to decide that the guy that I am currently dating is not for me--thanks!
from enfinblue :
Thanks so much for taking the time to copy that out!
from drgeek :
Drop me an e-mail through the link on my diary and I'll send you the NY Times article. I will also answer your question about my name in my reply. :)
from enfinblue :
Um. I think I meant at bay and pastime. I am wickedly hungover... :-).
from enfinblue :
ACK! I couldn't agree with you more about bread baking--my favourite pasttime. Gee, I wonder if you'd post the whole wheat rosemary and olive oil French loaf recipe... :). Everything about making one's own bread is delightful! And as for the 10k run...of course I must encourage you to do it. The Sun Run is an extraordinary experience--you'll be buoyed along by the crowd. And you need only train minimally to do it (and so can keep injuries at bey). If you need any additional encouragement, may I tell you that it is a net downhill race as well (and so produces the fastest times of any race on the circuit in Canada). (All of this praise and I have not actually participated in it! When I was in a position to race it it fell quite close to the London Marathon, to which I was committed.)
from elgan :
I have a front-loading washing machine, like they have in Europe, and I love it. If you could find yourself a small one that will fit in your bathroom or kitchen, if that's possible, it might solve the problem of having to use the landlord's. Thanks so much for your note, and especially the suggestion about the hot-water bottle. I hope you and K. have a very happy new year. All the best from my family to yours for 2007.
from drgeek :
Your comments page was marking me as spam, so... I feel very fortunate to have grown up with homemade bread. My grandmother used to make it. It was not the artisanal crusty French loaf, but it was a heavy rich white loaf -- ordinary white bread on steroids, if you will. Since my grandmother passed, my Dad has been taking up the slack, expanding my grandmother's recipe for Carpatho-Rusyn "pascha" bread to include whole wheat and rye varieties. I need to bake some bread one of these days. I do. Congrats! ps. There was a great article on making homemade bread in the Nov 8 New York Times entitled "The Secret of Great Bread: Let Time Do the Work". I have the text and can send it to you if you want.
from enfinblue :
Loved the Christmas meme! You sound happy and that is great.
from dandlioneyes :
Thanks so much for the sweet note. I guess Christmas away from family is still Christmas, and we can start new traditions here. It sounds like you two had a beautiful day -- and isn't it rough when kindred spirits, those that you spent the day with, leave? Hugs!
from enfinblue :
Thanks so much for your kind wishes! The pleasure of meeting electronically this year was all mine! All the best to you and to K. (and to your loved ones) for a happy and healthy New Year.
from elgan :
Merry Christmas to you and K. I miss you.
from dandlioneyes :
Frohe Weihnachten und einen guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr!
from dandlioneyes :
So sorry about the lab door.... ugh.
from enfinblue :
Again, a much appreciated comment. I need to step back and not panic, that is for sure. :) (Great stuff/news re. the outreach program and the potential grad student!
from enfinblue :
Oh my goodness I almost fell over laughing about unpreparedness for Swedish Easter. Thanks for that (and also for the woo hoos--much appreciated). :-)
from elgan :
Would it be too much to ask you to post your recipe for Gluhwein? Please?
from elgan :
Shortening jacket sleeves is easy. You shouldn't have a problem. I have to do it all the time. It sounds like you hit the jackpot.
from dandlioneyes :
Ah, new clothes! I hope they keep you warm. I'm sure you look snazzy!
from enfinblue :
I went to a walk-in clinic when I was living in Vancouver, that was on Broadway at MacDonald. I'm sure there are others, but that clinic (in Kits) saw me immediately. Walk-in clinics in general will definitely see you on the same day, although you'll usually have to wait an hour or more if they are busy.
from elgan :
This is why it is so important to get that Conservative government out of there, especially one being headed by a Westerner.
from enfinblue :
Your frustrations are in part why Claus and I are going to be watching the Liberal leadership convention all weekend. :-)
from enfinblue :
Oh no! I didn't mean it that way! I don't look at all like Frida Kahlo. I'm rather ordinary. I just meant that looking like a man is not so bad. Don't worry about your cheeks--I'm sure they're lovely.
from enfinblue :
Oh yes! Absolutely I see my father's face staring back at me, too! When I see this I think of the strong, masculine beauty of Frida Kahlo and am pleased. :)
from enfinblue :
I am so sorry that your Thanksgiving was so rough. I keep on hoping that your situation will improve. Hmm...It's difficult to fathom why they don't appreciate the importance of keeping your lab secure. I mean, they have a downtown campus in a rough part of town. They must have security protocols of some sort. It's seriously mystifying. I can understand why you are having doubts about your move.
from elgan :
I'm so sorry.
from elgan :
Aw, that was lovely. We all need that kind of vindication in our lives. I hope the rest of your week is as wonderful.
from enfinblue :
Oh poor you. I still keep on hoping that your boxes will turn up...soon. Someone silly but well-meaning person probably put them in storage somewhere. I don't want to give you advice but have you talked to all of the janitorial staff in your facility? Does your building have a porter? Anyhow. And turbid water is unpleasant. Seriously, I feel like apologizing for the whole country; though, of course, I can't apologize for the weather.
from elgan :
Your dilemma reminds me of what I went through a year and a half ago when my zIp disk died and I thought I had lost all the data on it, including my husband's half-hour long symphony, score and parts. It turned out that we were able to save that data, but the piece I had been working on, the same piece that was just played in Calgary last weekend, was total garbage and I had to recopy it from scratch. I seriously contemplated either slitting my throat or lying on the train track when I thought of the hours and hours of work that had been lost. I'm so sorry. I hope your samples are found.
from enfinblue :
Oh no. All I can say is that I am so sorry--I can imagine how devastating this must be. I can't believe the level of their incompetence. I hope sincerely that the boxes will be found tomorrow.
from enfinblue :
I forgot to mention something...I hate to tell you this but from November to March 1998-1999, Vancouver recorded a total of 72 hours of sunshine. You get used to it, don't worry! (I feel somehow that from now on I should make my notes friendly but extremely long and convoluted...perhaps they already are so. :))
from enfinblue :
You're so right--it's really about the mutuality of affection. I'm a goof who tends to hastily declare opinions likely not her own. Though I have to say that a romantic cynic at this point sounds highly attractive. The true problem with the guy falling in three dates is that I don't trust his declaration; my instincts tell me that he is unaware of the degree to which he is simply trying to fill the space recently vacated by his wife.
from enfinblue :
I love your don't-revert-to-pointilism philosophy of life--very instructive. :)
from elgan :
In Quebec, Halloween is definitely a big deal. People decorate their houses for the entire month of October, hanging ghosts from their trees and gathering their leaves into orange bags with preprinted jack o'lantern faces on them. While Thanksgiving and Victoria Day are actual days off when families get together, Halloween is the only occasion which is not strictly speaking a holiday that gets so much attention. Then there's the long stretch through November and December to Christmas, so yes, it's a big deal. I hope things get better soon for you. I'm sorry.
from enfinblue :
Oh no no no. I'm so sorry that you are sad in your office, and in your environment as a whole. And no, Hallowe'en is not the second largest holiday in Canada. Seriously...perhaps in candy sales or something silly like that. Thanksgiving is huge after Xmas, of course. And don't get me started on Canada Day, or heck even Queen Victoria's Birthday (fireworks and beer, almost exclusively...but still preferable to stale late-autumn tootsie rolls and candied apples). Have a safe and pleasant trip to Oregon. :)
from enfinblue :
Sorry.. I mean't anything else. Looking at regression output all day is beginning to fry my brain. :)
from enfinblue :
By the way, I'm so sorry that I never managed to figure out my Vancouver doctor's name. If I were there I could actually take you right to his office, but I can't remember anyone else. I also asked my friend for her ob-gyn's name and I was surprised to hear that she hadn't used one. She must have gone to a physician of some kind, but she was otherwise doula and midwife all the way. I shouldn't be surprised by this, I guess, for this is her way. When the baby finally arrived she wrote an email to all of us stating that she'd "enjoyed the labour." Hmmm...
from enfinblue :
OH NOOO000 I didn't get the email. That's too bad. Hmmm....perhaps it went into my junk folder by accident or something. That's what you get for having too many email accounts.
from enfinblue :
Great that your trip was a huge success. (I'd love to hear some of the insights. :))
from harri3tspy :
Thanks so much for your comment. I really value your thoughts on such matters and your comment really helped me regain some much-needed perspective.
from enfinblue :
I laughed hysterically at the turtle, cat, and dog ponderings. Thank you. PS All I've been able to remember so far about the doc's name is that I think it was Mike S___! (not so good, really, I know :)). Anyhow, I fired off an email to a close friend in Vancouver who recently had a baby, and if she happens to get back to me at some point about her ob/gyn I will drop you a note. :)
from elgan :
It's not just Vancouver. My family doctor has been on medical leave for three years, and I end up seeing interns when I need to see someone. There are real issues in this country surrounding health care, mainly the fact that there aren't enough doctors, that they all head south looking for greener money, I mean, pastures. It's annoying, to say the least, and contributes to the long waiting times for surgical procedures. I wish you luck, seriously.
from enfinblue :
Hmm... I had the most amazing physician when I lived in Vancouver...a man from South Africa, who practised in one of the buildings next to the old train station downtown. He was lovely. He went out of his way to look into a million and one different issues for me whilst I was running seriously. He always seemed very knowledgeable and I remember that he did my pap tests. Great guy. Wish I could remember his name, dammit. I will see if I can somehow figure it out. If I were there I could go to the office and sleuth it out for you. Hmmm... Although everyone always talks about the shortage, I've never in all of my moves had any trouble finding a physician. I realize that the problems are getting worse over time...Sadly, I think the problems are biggest for people with serious problems and the elderly. My parents recently moved and found a new doctor and that's exactly what he told them: he'd take them because they are relatively young and healthy. Hmm..
from enfinblue :
PS The sexy voice thing was a bit of a red herring. My true problem is that I am perpetually afraid that I will be revealed to be a complete idiot. I feel naked in this way on the phone. In person, I somehow feel able to compensate with lively facial expressions and a friendly demeanor. Hmm... Hope you start to feel more 'in tune' with the group at mountain U.
from enfinblue :
Lovely story about the performance piece...you seem to be full of lovely stories. :) You're dead on regarding the "too good for me" bit, except in as much as I feel uncomfortable with my life/work instability when in the company of someone well-established. I think it's ultimately an equality-of-resources criterion on which I based the decision. Plus, he was a bit boring (just kidding). :)
from enfinblue :
You can always rely on me for "vague sentiments of inadequacy." :) Thanks for your encouragement and your condolences. It has been an odd week. If it means anything, you read as an insanely competent and compassionate person to me. And I wouldn't worry at all about putting off supposedly polite Canadians with what you think of as your hold-no-punches style. Forthrightness is almost always appreciated, particularly when it is accompanied by a smile and/or a joke. :)
from elgan :
Ha ha! You said "fundament" when I think you really meant "foundation". Do look fundament up in the dictionary and you'll see why I'm laughing.
from metonym :
That goats do roam entry was hilarious.
from elgan :
I must remember that as an excuse the next time I am caught speeding, except there won't be a next time. I don't know if you get Ontario wines out your way, but if you do, may I recommend Henry of Pelham Baco Noir? It is my favourite.
from enfinblue :
I meant "but only a big issue if you live in Ontario or Quebec." I would just ask your neighbours politely if the could take the smoking outside or to another part of their balcony...or if they could get one of those smoke-absorber thingies. People can be surprisingly accommodating, I find, especially if you indicate that you have asthma. Actually, I do believe that you can have an allergy to the stuff, too.
from enfinblue :
Largest cash crop in B.C., I kid you not. I, too, dislike the stuff. Actually, I loathe it: the smell makes me dry heave. I'm also an asthmatic. I make a persnickity old lady gesture of waving my hands to shoo away the smoke when I encounter people puffing on it publicly. It's a bit of a national joke, I'm afraid, but only if you are in B.C. or in Quebec. The perfect province for a pot-hating person is uptight Ontario, although this province is so deficient in so many other respects that it is difficult for me to recommend it. ;) I'm hoping that living in a city that effectively straddles the ON-PQ border will work for me for now. :)
from elgan :
As I said in my last note, if you were displaying hard edges, they didn't bother me. My family found you to be as delightful as you claim you found them, so fear not on that count. However, I do agree with you about the happy smoke. When we were at the Montreal Jazz Festival I was smelling it, and I had forgotten (since my university days) how much I really dislike that particular odour of burning leaves. I don't know what you can do about it except frequent public places as much as possible where smoking of any kind is banned. It's kind of a bummer when your own home is invaded, though.
from elgan :
K is probably quite right about the "hard edges", although they didn't bother me any. But Canadians tend to be excessively polite, and British Columbians in particular are a terribly laid-back bunch. Just think California of the north. But everything you say about your new workplace is very encouraging, at least about the ones who actually work there. Talk to you soon, hopefully.
from enfinblue :
I couldn't agree with you more about A Room with a View. I am not someone who can watch movies repeatedly, but this one is in my very small DVD collection. It improves with every viewing. And shouldn't *life* be accompanied by Puccini arias? That movie spoiled me for Florence. I longed to go to Florence for years and years and when I finally made it there the unexpected (duh!) traffic din nearly did me in. I had to dull the buzzing of the vespas by ascending each day to San Mineato al Monte (with aforementioned Puccini arias plugged into my ears :)).
from enfinblue :
Whenever I read you I am incredibly impressed with your attitude; this was very true today when you described your reaction to the attacks in that public forum. You seem to be an intellectual and a scientist of the very best variety.
from elgan :
I'm sorry you've had such bad experiences with our national financial institutions. I will admit that some are better than others. The CIBC is absolutely feeless IF you maintain a $1500 minimum balance in your chequing account. RBC robs you blind. TD-Canada Trust is great because some branches will be open from 8 a.m to 8 p.m. (very unbanklike, but dating back to before the two institutions merged). In truth, the banks in this country are better for putting your money into than taking it out from, and the fees are exorbitant. But, if the bank should go belly up (and I don't know if American banks are protected in the same way), the CDIC guarantees your holdings up to a certain (very generous) amount. Which is kind of comforting.
from elgan :
Whoa! You had me worried there for a while. We could change the mnemonic device to "My Very Educated Mother Sent Us Nothing."
from enfinblue :
Happy (belated) Birthday! And thank you for your kind note. My oral surgeon and his team were great and so the recovery thus far has been incredibly smooth. (I was also correct that being 'put under' would erase any 'guy concerns' from my mind. :)) I have been remiss about commenting on issues surrounding your move! I know how difficult it is to make a transition to a different country. I regret having to admit this, but I am frequently embarrassed by 'Canadian style' administration, of which I am unfortunately to be a part, once again. :) We are, too, generally lacking in the service department. And BC car insurance is the worst! I do hope that the department and your colleagues turn out to be to your liking. I know exactly whereof you speak when you mention leaving a place without having made much of an impression. I tend to operate within small circles myself; I'm hoping to force myself out into different communities this year. In short, I hope that Vancouver will yield lovely new friendships for you (and for K.).
from dandlioneyes :
i hope you sleep wonderfully on the new mattress! makes all the difference in the world. ;-)
from elgan :
Hey, I didn't know it was your birthday! Please accept belated congratulations from the whole gang.
from coldandgray :
Hey, this is your 300th entry, congrats! Good luck with the new job. It will get better once you are all settled in. Incidentally, we are practically neighbors as Seattle is a mere 3 hours away. Welcome.
from coldandgray :
Please let us know if your global warming talk will be on the web, how cool!
from enfinblue :
That was so beautiful and heartbreaking.
from elgan :
That was lovely. You must miss her. By the way, these are the dates we will be in Guelph: July 21 to 24. When are you there?
from coldandgray :
Sorry to hear of your friend, that was a lovely letter you wrote.
from enfinblue :
Happy 4th of July!
from enfinblue :
quick addition: I know that the drive-away option is tricky but if you could New York to Seattle or Portland you might be able to drive it up to Vancouver and back within the time and mileage limits offered. But perhaps you've already purchased a car?
from enfinblue :
I don't know much, but I know that you'll take my advice with a grain of salt, so here goes: definitely a hard bed. When C. visits me we sleep in the same bed (and he's a roller) since my apartment is too small for a proper sofa bed. We've slept on hotel beds and other softies and the like before but my current hard bed works like a charm. Otherwise, I was thinking, have you thought about contacting a drive-away service to see if you can drive someone's van or something like that out west? My boyfriend and I did that (from Toronto to Vancouver) in 1997 and it was basically free (I think $60 plus a deposit that we got back when the car was delivered). If you could pack in a good lot of stuff you could ship the remainder in some sort of a container, I would think. Cheers, Stephanie
from harri3tspy :
The house looks beautiful. Congratulations!
from enfinblue :
So glad I didn't offend. Excellent spot you've chosen! Funny about the bookstores. I started digging through my brain and couldn't recall any particular stars. I worked right near the big public library downtown so I think I mostly checked books out and shopped at the SFU store and Duthies downtown as well. Come to think of it, there used to be a GREAT second hand bookstore downtown, somewhere along East Pender, I think. Wonder if it is still there. I did live in Kits, but also in Dunbar (for easy access to the endowment lands), but also slummed it for a while east of City Hall (an area that's now rapidly gentrifying, so I am told). If I were to move back I'd choose Commercial Drive too, if my work location would make it convenient. (Sorry, this is becoming a book!) The architecture in West Van is very interesting, although one would expect this from the wealthiest postal code in the country. You're right about the earnestness of Kits--I made the crack about the new-agey stuff because my two closest friends from the east who have resettled there have gone completely off the deep end with the stuff :). Cheers and good luck!
from elgan :
Gorgeous house, great view. You are very fortunate. Good job!
from enfinblue :
Congratulations! That's a great part of town--best coffee (the old Italian place, can't remember the name...), poetry slam clubs, and off-beat shops in the city.
from harri3tspy :
Hooray! Congratulations on your new flat.
from enfinblue :
Interesting that you mention the Slate article. My labour economics supervisor has noted anecdotally that there are clear cohort effects in career salary trajectories at our uni. Frankly, the persistence in these salary differentials surprised me a little when I heard about them. I was unsurprised, however, that serious resentment has arisen in various quarters as a result of these persistent differentials --there's a prof in that department who has worked four offices down the hallway from another prof in that department for more than thirty years and who hasn't passed the other guy without pretending to spit in nearly twenty-five of them. Economists are fascinating folk :).
from enfinblue :
Interesting remarks, by the way, about the position of women. I couldn't agree more. In my former Econ. department I was present during some pretty dreadful recruitment-related sessions in which male faculty members were discussing the marital and fertility positions of female candidates. Blech. At Foreign Affairs, too, in spite of the fact that equal numbers of women and men are accepted at intake--and that attrition rates are similar--in the last big round of promotions to the "EXecutive" level, not a single female candidate was selected. We do, indeed, face bigger problems than finding a dude to wed us.
from enfinblue :
I was really interested in your remarks about VP Al and his diligence with respect to getting the climate change science right. The media stuff about the movie as well had not yet hit me so thank you for alerting me to the film. Actually, the VP Al story reminds me a bit of a story that my grandfather told me a few years ago about Jean Chretien (and let me preface this by saying that I don't put our "scrappy little guy" in the same category with Al!). After my grandfather retired from university teaching, he worked as an economist for the Minister of Agriculture and one day was seated beside Jean Chretien (when he was Finance Minister or Indian Affairs Minister, not PM) on a flight from Ottawa to Calgary. JC made an indelible impression on my grandfather because he spent the entire flight grilling him about agricultural economics and some of the specific issues of the day. The amusing and faintly embarrassing part of the story is that my grandfather was telling me about this because he was trying to explain his loyalty to the Liberal party. The second declared reason for his loyalty was that when he was a young soldier returning on leave from his first tour of duty in Africa during WWII, his 4 a.m. train was met by Liberal Prime Minister Mackenzie King in Toronto Union station. The PM proceeded to shake everyone's hand and to engage in friendly banter.
from enfinblue :
Oh my- I just laughed quite hysterically over the whonking and dead crabs tale! Thanks sincerely for the cookbooks suggestion.
from enfinblue :
Congrats on the ride and the lack of discomfort thereafter!
from elgan :
I don't think I really expressed any perspective on beauty. One of the things I've been thinking about but neglected to put into my entry was the fact that most people simply judge beauty by the outer trappings, the shell, and totally neglect what’s underneath. Guys will approach a beautiful woman and buy her a drink or ask her to dance or whatever, but that doesn’t mean that she’s a good person, or that she is an intelligent conversationalist, or that she’s even very exciting in bed. It just means that she’s easy on the eyes. It works the same way with the opposite sex. I find my eyes follow the good-looking guy, but that doesn’t mean that if I engage him in conversation he won’t turn out to be a total ass. It really bugs me that this is how things are, but unfortunately, we are too easily distracted by shiny things and then find out that what we thought were diamonds turn out to be cheap glass.
from harri3tspy :
Oh, that sounds like a fabulous ride. I am most jealous. I'd love to do that sometime.
from enfinblue :
Gosh I remember that FWAAF scene with Fi. I must make an effort to evolve into such a forthright old lady :). Congratulations on the impending job change. And best of luck with the bike tour--sounds like great fun!
from harri3tspy :
Congratulations! That must be a huge relief.
from enfinblue :
Wow! Congratulations! I hope you'll be very happy. I laughed over your comments about your wedding experiences with various guests and seating arrangements. When I thought about it all a bit though I realized that I have learned to deal with this stuff by using the Elizabeth Bennett approach of mixing "sweetness with arch." (Otherwise, undoubtedly, said people would find me rude...which in my heart I suppose I mean to be when people ask me impertinent questions :). I'm definitely poised to become a crotchety old maid!)
from dandlioneyes :
congratulations, m'dear!!
from harri3tspy :
Congratulations! I spent a large chunk of my childhood living in the next town over (starts with D) and spent a lot of summers in the beaches in that area. This is my favorite time of year there -- empty, windy, rocky and beautiful. And running off to the beach with a few friends sounds lovely to me.
from coldandgray :
What an honor to host your wedding post. Big thanks and bigger congrats! Is it OK if I create a link on your post on my site back to your site?
from drgeek :
Sadly, I have discovered that weddings are as much about what the families and the community at large want as what the bride and groom want. In my own case, this was not too much of a problem. I hope it is the same for you. Good luck.
from drgeek :
I am so very glad to hear that you and K. are again under one roof after so much time apart! I hope you settle in quickly and enjoy your time together.
from harri3tspy :
Welcome to K! Hooray!
from elgan :
My condolences on your loss, and my congratulations on K's arrival. Hurrah!
from dandlioneyes :
hip hip hurrah for a successful arrival!
from dandlioneyes :
the 10 foot scratching poles made me laugh. my cat won't go near anything unless it is nice and padded and cushy -- read, couch. anyways, congrats on the soon to be together thing... after 6 years of long-distance myself, i'll tell you that it doesn't wear thin. there can be waves of disappointment (since you don't live that intensity "must make use of every second" all the time), but it is so comforting and beautiful. i'm happy for you!
from elgan :
I am very excited for you. Sorry about the PIN. I too have done that kind of thing. Bummer.
from enfinblue :
Kindred spirit, maybe (to describe that kind of compatibility)?
from elgan :
This too shall pass.
from harri3tspy :
That chocolate factory is halfway between my old apartment and my old office. My favorite thing about biking to work was riding by Blommer's. It always seems to smell like brownies when you walk out of the opera house. I can't believe they're trying to regulate it. Perhaps they're afraid of being sued by obese people. It is rather dangerous to the diet to smell chocolate all the time. But really, given the range of smells in the city that they could regulate, why chocolate?
from enfinblue :
I just realized that the billing sheets are a form of education too, but I think you can see what I mean ;).
from enfinblue :
First, I don't even know you but the comments you made about your wedding plans (friend officiating in a soccer field) touched me too. What a lovely plan! Your point about the health care system is well taken. I was being a bit flippant in my hasty remarks--it's an attitudinal thing :). More seriously, though, doctors are the gatekeepers and make most of the decisions about the really expensive items in the system--tests, days of hospitalization (most expensive item), etc., and you've always got to worry about the incentives that you set up for people when you implement such a measure. Whilst I definitely believe that people need to be made aware of where they are needlessly utilizing the system, I don't believe in shaming people into changing their usage patterns--for it will almost certainly be the wrong people who will be shamed and so will suffer. I don't know. A few years ago Ontario tried a public health publicity campaign in which they literally told people not to go to the doctor for treatment for the common cold. It seemed to work, initially, but then they realized that doctors were probably in many instances seeing the patients but billing the single payer under an non-cold billing code! I think there were still some gains in terms of reduced visits, however. I don't know. I generally believe in education, education, education. Also, as you rightly mention, there are many interesting service streamlining initiatives being undertaken right now related to a new 'national wait times guarantee' initiative that I think will be--of necessity--very effective in reducing costs. (There's already some encouraging evidence developing out of an orthopaedic surgery rationalization project out of Alberta.) I won't take up more space here with this stuff... I could go on forever. With a single payer, fortunately, raw admin. costs are still relatively low in the system. Cheers!
from enfinblue :
I hope that some of your stress is relieved over a pleasant weekend!
from harri3tspy :
Oh, boy, what a day. I hope you are karmically rewarded today.
from elgan :
You need a hug!
from scullerymaid :
Yes, it was the inspiration for The Secret of Roan Inish, and being gaga over the film, I do own it. The tape itself is of poor quality, but I love it nonetheless! I'm so glad you came across my entry. I've found few people who appreciate this movie as much as I do. I love coincidences too, if there's really such a thing.
from heelandlass :
Yes, the advice thing really works for me. I try to take advice because I'm always dishing it out!! Thanks a million for all of yours. I'm going to read you now so I know all about you!!!!xxx
from enfinblue :
Thanks for your lovely note. Wow re. the one female out of fifty at your degree-granting institution! It's wonderful to hear, however, that you received such a boost through your post-doc experience. I haven't yet met with an encouraging set of women in my academic career (I won't bore you with the details), but you are quite right that a career in academic economics is not something to wish on anyone, male or female :). My closest and brightest friend in the world, Claus, is also struggling in the late stages of his econ. Ph.D.; we're both disillusioned but we are doing our best to see that at least one of us completes the exercise. We each intend to work in government policy; if we are lucky we will be able to work on a few projects together, since we have some interests in common. Best of luck to your partner!
from enfinblue :
I admire you immensely for what you are doing in your work. You are a better woman than I. (And it definitely wasn't lost on me that the president of that major U.S. university to whom you refer is an economist by training :). I suppose too that I should cap this off by mentioning that my currently-living highly chauvinist grandfather is a retired professor of economics...you see the personal baggage I labour beneath.) At any rate, when I began my now-halted graduate studies, there were exactly 2 female professors in my department. There are now 5 (in a department of more than 30). Progress is being made, but slowly. Unfortunately too, I've observed a fair bit of evidence of a glass ceiling within the economics profession in the environments in which I have most regularly worked (government and inter-governmental institutions). I still maintain the hope, however, that if I can maintain my sense of self and my sense of purpose, I can succeed on my own terms.
from enfinblue :
I love snow in that way too--loved the picture. That was a touching entry about the friends whom you miss.
from harri3tspy :
It's so lovely that you took the time to write an email like that -- parents hear a lot of complaints and advice from everyone -- relatives, total strangers -- but seldom a word that they're doing a good job. And those were wonderful responses. Thanks for posting them. I'm interested about the idea of older parents vs. younger parents. I wonder if it's true. I also wonder, though, if part of the verbal thing has to do with the fact that older parents tend to have smaller families -- more time talking and interacting with their children one on one? Just a thought. I'm actually with you on being tired of these issues. And yet they keep appearing and I keep reacting.
from elgan :
I have sung lots of atonal music, both as a chorister and as a soloist (more as a soloist). It’s something you eventually get used to. I have found that if I write the actual intervals in my score (and many of my scores are just covered with -3, +2, P5, T markings) I have much less trouble reading them than when they are spelled enharmonically on the page. Good news about K! Hurrah!
from enfinblue :
Good grief, it's like you wrote about me today! I too have the 'bag (heap) system' of filing bills; my thesis-- albeit unfinished, but not for lack of personal interest--is based on a micro-data set that I lovingly constructed in a couple of years spent in a library basement, transcribing personnel data from (badly) microfilmed early 20th century INS records; and I completely shut down when anything pertaining to financial matters comes up (which makes it all the more remarkable that I passed a comprehensive exam in macroeconomics, but whatever). Although not for a thesis of course, I also spent an enjoyable number of months in the lab of my uncle the entymology professor, pinning (read: glueing by the thorax to little teardrop-shaped bits of papers stuck on pins, under a microscope) and cataloguing the 30,000 dung flies he had recently collected on a ground-breaking collecting trip to Siberia. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one with such issues :).
from metonym :
Well, considering the kind of stuff he makes it's not like it would take him very long to produce enough paintings/sculptures/whatever to cover the earth from end to end. Germany, however, is not surprising: Germany is overflowing in modern art.
from elgan :
Sorry about the profanity, it just sort of slipped out.
from elgan :
This has been the strangest winter ever, a constant source of conversation for us northerners who are used to having -20C as our norm and a week of -30C. The river is still running freely, we've had rain, above-average temperatures, and last night it was absolutely balmy. Okay, paleo-climatologist that you are, what the fuck is going on?
from elgan :
Excellent news! Do you need anyone to sing at your wedding? I know this soprano, she's really good and cheap too! I'm really happy for you and K both.
from enfinblue :
Sorry for doing this twice, but I wanted also to tell you that I enjoyed the piece about 'JI', and to say good luck and congratulations regarding the visa situation.
from enfinblue :
Thanks for your note-interesting observation. My dad, too, was not really a part of my life in his last few years.
from dandlioneyes :
oh, i hope he is here soon. wishing you all the best! i know the pains of having to live apart -- we did it for 5 years!
from enfinblue :
That was indeed a lovely tribute. It says a great deal about the person who wrote it.
from harri3tspy :
That was a lovely tribute. I actually read it last night and was still thinking about it this morning when I read the article in today's Science Times about Einstein's violin playing.
from elgan :
That was a beautiful eulogy of a man you obviously admired greatly. You were indeed blessed to know him and to be admired in return by him. I feel for your loss as well.
from elgan :
Yes, it’s all right to order off the menu if there is a proviso in said menu saying “If you have special food needs, the chef will make something special for you” and that’s basically it. I think most places will leave the mushrooms out of a dish or put them on the side if you request it, but when you go to a restaurant with a particular menu, it is presumably because you want to order from it. Presumably. Sometimes you get forced into eating somewhere and there is absolutely nothing you want advertised. Sometimes you go to the lunch room at the university and are told they will not make the grilled-vegetable panini and leave out the eggplant because they are required to follow the recipes they are given. But this wasn’t about me…cough, cough. I love “Iron Giant”. What a great film.
from enfinblue :
PS I forgot to mention that I enjoyed today's entry, and that I can, in large part, relate to it directly! (Also, and unrelatedly, one of the things that makes the PM's minority dangerous in some ways that are important to me is the fact that the Bloc holds the balance of power, though this is only one wrinkle...)
from enfinblue :
Nice of you to comment, teranika. Believe me, I've been telling myself over and over again that at least it is a minority government. If he's able to tinker with the equalization/tax points system in ways in which he wishes to, however, the new PM could move Canada onto an anti-federalist course that could be irreversible. The PM also has considerable powers with respect to foreign policy...It is a relief to know, at least, that when I return to work in Ottawa in the spring I will be working in the only department without a cabinet minister atop it :). Otherwise, you may perhaps be correct about needing to walk a mile in other peoples' moccasins before judging their decisions, but I admit that my idealism is seldom shaken.
from harri3tspy :
It's funny you wrote about this today, because I was thinking about the exact same thing this morning. I think I'm going to respond to this in an entry.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks for your ten cents. That's actually good to hear. I based my comment on the coverage I've been reading about in newspapers, not through any first-hand knowledge of the process of peer review in the sciences, which appears to be somewhat different than in the humanities. I read a number of comments about the additional established researchers agreeing to put their hames on the paper (I feel like there's a name for this practice that I'm not remembering at the moment) but who hadn't actually checked it out.
from drgeek :
Ah, a dead DVD player. While I am gratified that you'd think of me when it comes to bits of gadgetry, Mrs. Geek and I already have two (working) DVD players in our apartment -- one of which is currently acting as a CD player in our bedroom. In fact, I'm already trying to rid myself of some old electronics gear... there is just too much of the stuff cluttering up our place as it is. Finding a recycling company shouldn't be too, TOO difficult. Throwing the search term "electronics recycling" into Google turned up more than a few leads, some with nationwide directories. If nothing else, I see that the Lower East Side Ecology Center is having a collection event on April 23rd in Union Square Park (wrong borough, I know) that accepts dead audio/video/computer gear. I found that with about 10 minutes of searching. Hopefully, you can find something a little closer to home.
from drgeek :
Putting computers in landfills is an especially bad thing because of what you don't want to leak into the water table... "rare earth" elements, heavy metals, lead, and arsenic all play their part in computer construction. Plus, a lot of computer waste just gets shipped to China or West Africa these days. I'm always very happy to prevent a computer from going to the landfill when I can use parts instead.
from elgan :
I would like nothing more than for Hubby to join me at the skating rink. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have skates and won’t get any until his new insoles are ready. He’s recently been diagnosed as having a weird gait, which is contributing to joint pain, and the doctor has prescribed these inserts in an attempt to correct it, so it means the skating is on hold for a while.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks so much for your note. i hope you have a good year this year, and wish you all the best! thanks again, hugs!
from coldandgray :
Happy New Year, I am SO full!
from clarity25 :
Thank you for your last note, Yes the comments I received in regards to the incident that occured really helped me work through this, and made it easier to handle. Yours included, so thank you so much for reaching out. I'm glad you had a good Christmas, Best wishes for the New year!
from drgeek :
A belated wish to you for a happy and joyous holiday. Hope that you make it home safe for the holidays.
from clarity25 :
I hope you enjoyed your holidays and you had safe travels.
from elgan :
Merry Christmas Teranika. All the best for the new year and always.
from coldandgray :
I would like to see that blue hour. Hope the transit strike is resolved soon.
from clarity25 :
"our problems of yesterday are much more romantic than the problems we face today" -- yes, that quote may be true, but I like your take on it. Thanks for the offer in your last note, but I think we might run into a problem in Customs. :(. That's what Eric worried about. But thanks for reaching out, I think we'll figure something out in the end. *fingers crossed* I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas though and a very Happy New Years! Best wishes!
from harri3tspy :
Your story made me laugh and also remember what is probably the single most embarrassing moment in my life spent trying to obtain condoms from a French pharmacist without knowing the correct vocabulary word.
from heelandlass :
Hi! Thanks for all your lovely well wishes! Hope you have a great time over the festive season xxx
from final137 :
Merry almost Christmas.
from elgan :
As an addendum, I too am very sensitive to loud noises and always carry a pair of foam earplugs in my purse now. I agree that movie theatres are trying to deafen their patrons. I don’t know why. They have absolutely nothing to gain from it.
from elgan :
I have to agree with harri3tspy in her note to you. I have read and reread the Narnia books many, many times, both to myself and out loud to my kids, and I never tire of them. The Christian stuff was totally lost on me too, but for obvious reasons, as I wouldn’t have recognized the references anyway when I was younger, and I was already enamoured with the books when older. It is only in “The Voyage of the Dawntreader” where the first unmistakeable reference comes in (i.e. Aslan masquerading as a wee lamb) and of course in “The Last Battle” which is akin to an apocolyspe in and of itself. It is only when I got to those parts that I got turned off. But the books are so beautifully written that I could forgive them. I also agree with Harriet that “The Magician’s Nephew” is the pièce de résistance of the series, probably because he wrote it near the end in order to allow “The Last Battle” to tie everything up (it is now the official first book of the bunch) and it is undoubtedly the best written.
from dandlioneyes :
i wear earplugs to the big multiplex theatres!
from harri3tspy :
I loved the Narnia books and the Christian allegory was completely lost on me until somebody pointed it out. Regardless of C.S. Lewis' intentions or contemporary polemics by the Christian right, to me the Christian connection is more cultural than overtly religious. The idea of redemption through death is not solely the provenance of Christians, for one thing. Yes, I'd say having a basic knowledge of the story of Christ might enrich your reading experience, but the same may be said of much of Western literature. They are good stories well told, plain and simple. Any "lessons" that stuck with me from reading the books as a child could be categorized not as religious but as practical (Never shut yourself in a wardrobe -- Lewis repeats this adage so many times, that I wondered whether a child of his acquaintance had perished in a tragic wardrobe accident) or possibly ethical (stand by your family, stay true to yourself). They are definitely worth a read. If you decide to give them a try, I would start with the first, "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe." But my favorite was always "The Magicians Nephew." It's been so long since I've read it that I no longer remember exactly what it was about. But that is the one that I read over and over. Also, there is a fabulous serial adaptation of the books done by the BBC in the late 70s or early 80s that I highly recommend.
from elgan :
Hurrah! Yes, hot chocolate with a splash of cointreau is recommended at this juncture. Enjoy your respite. And thank you for your nice note. Yeah, weldbond.
from harri3tspy :
Congratulations! And oh my, the unmitigated gall of some students. I remember when I was typing in the "no exams or late assignments will be accepted without a not from your doctor or dean" clause in my syllabus and feeling kind of awful about having to be such a hardass right up front. Then I was utterly shocked to have to refer to that clause repeatedly with several students who just didn't seem to think they needed to do the same thing everyone else was doing. In any case, I hope you get a prope celebration.
from clarity25 :
My cat does the same thing with my laptop. I can't pull his body off, he just stares at me while purring. So I just give up and pet him for a good 15 minutes. Then he stretches and moves on, content. I miss my cat, I'll be reunited with him when I return to New York. Thanks for your last note!
from harri3tspy :
I loved your story about Christmas in Jena. As for Ned Flanders, I too am grateful for his existence. Now every time I have an annoying interaction with someone like that, I just think of adding "oodly" to the end of everything they're saying. Then my problem becomes trying not to laugh. And thanks for your thesis comments as well. I can't tell you how helpful it is to hear from those who have survived!
from elgan :
11/12/05 - That was a lovely reminiscence. I was greatly moved by it.
from elgan :
Aw. My invitation to come for a visit still stands.
from elgan :
Weldbond! It glues practically anything to anything! Get some today! I'm serious! http://www.yankeeharvest.com/weldbond/
from clarity25 :
That's actually Clarity25_1978@yahoo.com. not diaryland.
from clarity25 :
Cool! So what Town do you think I live in? (You can E-mail me at Clarity25_1978@diaryland.com if you'd like.) I prefer not to have my exact location available in my diary for reasons of privacy. I'm funny like that. :), but that's wild that you could recognize the landmarks!
from heelandlass :
Hi! I just wanted to say thank you very much for taking the time to fill out my survey. I've got loads of good book recommendations to get through and of course, been introduced to new diaries. Looking forward to reading all about you!
from elgan :
Poor you and K. Diaryland’s very own j-leem went through this, experiencing delays and frustrations, but she is now happily settled in Michigan with the man of her dreams, diaryland’s very own dark-knight, so be assured, it will come to pass.
from clarity25 :
Thanks for your last note! It's hard being away from the family around Thanksgiving time, isn't it? I read your Thanksgiving entry and completely related to the emotions you expressed. Well, you're not alone. I'll raise my gluhwein glass for you tonight and thanks for the caring thoughts for my family during this time. I really really appreciate that. I hope you have a good day, and Happy Thanksgiving. :)
from elgan :
Come to my house! We're not celebrating Thanksgiving at the moment, bit I would be grateful for your presence and to be able to shower you with love and friendship.
from clarity25 :
Thank you so much for reaching out and leaving that caring note in my notebox. I truly appreciate it, it's good to know that I'm not alone in how I feel. I read a little of your diary, I'm sorry you're going through a low point right now. We all have times like that in life and we don't feel much inspiration. I hope it passes for you soon.
from elgan :
Aw. I understand. I update daily because I feel compelled to when perhaps it would be better if I saved up until I was really inspired. * hugs *
from dandlioneyes :
i totally understand. i'm not writing either right now, but we'd miss you if you totally disappeared. *hugs* and be well. the fall can be a hard time, no?
from coldandgray :
I love this entry. SCANTRON!
from dandlioneyes :
glad the cost of war thing has been helpful to you. shocking, i can hardly stand to look at it at times.... and glad you liked seattle! we had hail last night, though, and lots of rain... still an adjustment! all the best!
from drgeek :
Regarding notes to members of Congress, I last wrote a note to my Congressman to block Republican attempts to gut support for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and PBS. I eventually got a fairly long reply from his office by e-mail. I don't know if it was written by a staffer or not or if it was a form letter... but it at least felt nice to be answered on the topic.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks so much for your note and I always appreciate your unsolicited advice, as it is always well-reasoned and sensible and often just what I need to hear. It is good to be reminded that advisors are just that -- advisors. They are not dictators. I do, however, happen to largely agree with his assessment of my paper(at least the part I could figure out). I've never been totally happy with it. Since I've got an approach figured out now, I think I am going to try sending him the first few paragraphs of the rewrite to see what he says. I'm hoping if I provide him with something more concrete to react to, I may get a more concrete response. I really do value his opinion, particularly since this project is a departure from my usual work. But ultimately, I'll have to just do what feels right.
from elgan :
Aw, I'm sorry you're under the weather. I hope your two weeks just whiz by!
from drgeek :
I really hear you about the whole body shutting down thing... I've been fighting to stay on the operational side of the boundary between being functional and collapsing for the last few weeks. But I definitely know how it feels when going to the living room feels like climbing a mountain... I hope you feel better soon.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks so much for the note. I'm petrified by the date, but it feels good to have a point of closure identified. Right now I need to know there's going to be closure, even if it may kill me to get there!
from metonym :
I was trying to acknowledge exactly the class problems you brought up...that's why I kept mentioning Foucault & Bourdieu. One of the major projects of Bourdieu's life was showing how education is used by the bourgeois the way that blue blood was used by the aristocracy, as a justification for class hierarchy, discrimination, etc. He talked about France in particular, but went through the whole process from high school up. His writing is really convoluted but there was an awesome documentary made about him just before he died, called Sociology is a Combat Sport, and it's totally worth a watch. There's this awesome part at the end where he's giving a lecture in the Paris banlieux to all these immigrant students who are totally railing at him and he just loses it, gives a really inspiring speech.
from dandlioneyes :
what did you end up wearing to the wedding? it sounds like it was lovely!
from drgeek :
If Macy's sent Mrs. Geek and me a check for $118, we would probably be asking "Ok, which other credit card was supposed to get that $118?" That's how things work at our place.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks so much for both of your notes. we'll see what happens - ampelkoalition (not that the greens will go for it), grosse koalition (but who as kanzler/in), etc. i'm curious, but yet somehow relieved that it was so close and that s. got some votes back.... in terms of the MA student -- yes, i'll have to be polite, but i'm not sharing data. i think the archive had rules about distributing it anyways, so i feel like i can hide (not that i should need to) behind the tremendous weight of german bureaucracy.... any plans with your new-found $$?
from dandlioneyes :
brilliant! money from macy's! just brilliant! :) enjoy!!
from harri3tspy :
I am glad I am not the only one who avoids doctors like the plague. There is nothing worse than picking blind from a list. I haven't been since my post-partum check up with AJ. I moved and couldn't bear to go through the process of finding another doctor. Bleah. Good luck. And once again, all conversations seem to turn to plumbing of one sort or another. I'm all for steering AJ into that profession. This academic stuff is nuts.
from elgan :
Thank you for your note. You say the nicest things.
from elgan :
I too have had dreams wherein a pushed someone away in favour of my husband. Of course I've had the other kind too where I didn't push him away. But the former always make me think.
from dandlioneyes :
you know, i had even READ your entry, and thought the fact that you added ella f. to your list was neat. my brain is just in some sort of la-la-land. and yes, colin firth makes my knees tremble. yeep!
from drgeek :
I used to do some interdisciplinary computer engineering-type stuff at a grad student long ago that was related to oceanography and earth & marine sciences. Drop me an e-mail sometime, and I can send you a link to the project I used to work for. You might find what we did to be mildly interesting.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks for the notes and the excellent advice. It's a much better perspective. Still, the process of acquiring an academic job seems peculiarly inhumane. It's hard to get excited about it.
from dandlioneyes :
thank you for the timeline. no rewriting of history.
from annanotbob :
Hello - I found you via elgan and have just read about the anniversary of your dad's death. It's the same for me, 8 years though. (I wrote about it too, very differently, on Sep 4th) So much of what you described was true for me, though I hadn't noticed. Thank you - it was the last thing I expected to read and it was so comforting. All the best.
from harri3tspy :
Kir royale is exactly what I ended up having. I don't think I've had one since I was last in France -- it was delicious!
from elgan :
It sounds like you had a fabulous trip. I'm looking forward to hearing more about it. Hope to chat soon.
from elgan :
Bon voyage! Going laptopless is a bit like quitting smoking cold turkey. The withdrawal symptoms are just as real. But it’ll be great. Take lots and lots of pictures! Have fun!
from elgan :
Lovely. A beautiful recollection. Thank you for sharing.
from elgan :
It's easy to post pictures in your diary. Open an account with a free photo host, such as www.photobucket.com, upload your photo, then stick the html in your diary when you update. Et voilà!
from dandlioneyes :
loved the 3rd place entry. there is a bookstore in seattle called "third place", and i now get the reference. thank you for that!
from elgan :
"…and a thousand fireflies awoke and rose from the ground all around us. It was like floating in a cloud of green light." What a beautiful image. Thank you.
from elgan :
Excellent mini-saga, my dear! Good job!
from elgan :
Oh my dear, I was so hoping you'd get the Toronto job, because I'm in Toronto at least twice a year and I would be able to see you! But alas, I must start plotting a way to visit you out west instead. Sigh...
from elgan :
I have added you to my skype list. It doesn't look like you've added me yet though. I look forward to mutual skyping in the near future.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks for your note! when will you know if you move? vancouver, right???
from elgan :
Isn’t it amazing how as soon as somone else starts finding you attractive, suddenly the person you were already in a relationship with realizes he could lose you? It works with mates and with employers. Interesting.....
from elgan :
I so hope this woman is out of your life very soon. If you fail her, she'll just be back, which wouldn't be a nice thing to do to your successor I suppose, but what the heck do you care? You'll be long gone.
from harri3tspy :
I'm truly sorry about the work situation, but thanks for sharing the Abba memories. Abba Gold brings back a lot of memories for me too. When my family first moved to England, we didn't have a permanent place to live. We camped out for a couple of months in a flat with no central heat. Every morning, my dad would get up first, turn on the heat (first) and Abba Gold (second), the only tape we owned, and the rest of us would all lie in bed singing along until the flat was warm enough for us to venture out from under the covers.
from elgan :
( ( ( hugs ) ) )
from elgan :
Dearest, I picked up an adorable tsatske for you at an antique shop (although the proprietor assured me it was not an antique, just looked like one) which made me think of you immediately, and I want to pop it in the mail and send it to you, but, alas, I do not know your mailing address! Could you email it to me and we can consider this a congratulations present, if we’re too early or late for your birthday?
from elgan :
I’m so sorry about your cesspool, teranika. Just have a hot bubble bath, a tasty cocktail, and wash the shite off you. They don’t think about you at the end of the day, you shouldn’t be fretting about them.
from elgan :
Welcome back. I’m gad your interview went well. I have only ever been a tourist in Vancouver, so my experiences there have been similar to yours. That’s too bad about the public transportation system, though. Are you not also interviewing in Toronto? It’s more of a “big city”, more freeways, and sarcasm too.
from elgan :
I’m so happy your reunion with your Jena choir was so joyful. How wonderful for all of you. I miss you!
from elgan :
Yes, I am responding! Firstly, congrats to your alter ego for those three bouquets. Brava! Secondly, that salad sounds fabulous, I want one too! I had just updated when harri3tspy posted that meme, so I will most likely answer it tomorrow, but, in true elgan form, I was the first to leave her a note.
from harri3tspy :
I'm not sure from your entry whether you're interested in reading more about Lodz, but there's a wonderful book on music in the Lodz ghetto that provides a different side of the story. Gila Flam, "Singing for Survival: Songs in the Lodz Ghetto" is the title, I think.
from coldandgray :
Glad your Elgan date was so fun.
from harri3tspy :
Thank you, thank you for your kind, reasoned notes. They were just what I needed to hear and made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. I do think much of the language issue is my own obsession. But there is definitely a problem with language in the humanities in general and my field in particular that I suspect is different from the sciences (at least as perceived by someone from outside the sciences). The issue of jargon in the humanities is, in my interpretation anyway, often an attempt to mask anxiety about being a "real" discipline (just like the "ology" that we tack onto "music" -- we want to be scientists). Are our topics serious enough? Do we take a rigorous enough approach to materials that are fundamentally subjective? Musicology has tended to borrow analytical techniques from other disciplines but about ten years after the fact, so that musicologists may be even more anxious about the relevance of their work than others in the humanities. And in my particular area of specialization (ethnomusicology), we are further burdened with the jargon of anthropology as a way of declaring an allegiance that sets us apart from the rest of the music department. We often use the language without its sense of disciplinary history and context, which means that frequently the terms don't have the layers of meaning the otherwise might and are (in my opinion) better served by simpler, clearer terms. As a result of all this, clearly stated, well-reasoned arguments that don't pay homage to the linguistic traditions of the discipline are sometimes interpreted as simple or not thoroughly considered. I firmly believe that clear writing and thinking will be rewarded in the end. But for the dissertation, I'm getting the distinct impression that I may have to justify it or possibly just cede to tradition for this particular project.
from coldandgray :
Have a ton o' fun with Eleanor!
from dandlioneyes :
ha! i am the queen of passive aggression. in germany last year i would bang the heaters really loud, rhythmically, to make it sound like gas was in the pipes, to annoy my neighbors, who would have loud parties 2-3 times a week. hope you have a nice time meeting up with elgan!
from coldandgray :
That Wool Mill Upstate sounds mighty fine.
from sea-change- :
I wouldn't say for sure that it's without consequences yet - and I doubt that he will get off scot-free. The faculty here is up in arms & clamoring for blood. But, yeah - the stuff you said. It's a shame.
from coldandgray :
YEA! and snow, too!
from elgan :
I got your email and, to quote one of my favourite movies of all time, “my heart soars like an eagle.”
from coldandgray :
Sweet note from your student; luckily there a few good ones.
from elgan :
You are right. The afflicted muscle is the subscapularis, beneath the shoulder blade. I don’t know how I injured it, but it has been bothering me for 10 years or so, and this is the third time I am trying to treat it. Unfortunately, I can't lift weights or stretch until the pain is less. But my husband felt vindicated when I read your note to him. He’s a great believer that exercise is a cure for all ills. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch with you about my NYC trip, I have been incredibly swamped with this copying job.
from coldandgray :
Thank you so much for your heartfelt comment, it means a lot to me. I am sorry about the loss of your father and your own struggles with him, but so glad you have some wonderful memories.
from elgan :
If you do move, would you please let me know where to? As for the Irritator, according to my husband, you have to be firm, and just not give her special treatment. It sounds callous, but being "understanding" has nothing to do with it. You have a classroom full of students who do NOT make these kinds of demands on you, she will just have to learn that she is not outstanding. It's hard, believe me. I think of all the times my husband extended deadlines or allowed students to resubmit assignments when he didn't have to. Good luck!
from drgeek :
I miss Ilonina too.
from dandlioneyes :
i really appreciate your nice note. the thing is, if i thinkk about staying in academia i get a stomach ache. so it isn't just the thesis (oh god, the thesis), but the idea of continuing to do research which i don't feel like is really worthwhile. i like the lifestyle of an academic, but not the work, you know? so i'm trying to listen to those symptoms. yes, i'll plug through, and do the dissertation, because i came this far and quitting now makes no sense. anyways! thanks again for listening and for the nice note. here's to a nice and restful weekend for you. it sounds like you need a break!
from elgan :
I had to read your entry about the Irritator out loud to my husband. He sympathises with you wholeheartedly and says, “Hang in there!” There are all kinds of students out there. They come and they go, i.e. they do eventually go.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks for your nice note. I think you're right, both that every situation is different and that it's really hard to see what the situation is unless you're on the inside. In any case, I'm sure your colleague is extremely lucky that you're thinking about her. I think that if a colleague invited me to work in the peace and quiet of her child-free apartment, I would be grateful beyond words!
from harri3tspy :
It's an interesting question, actually. I think I'll respond in my entry today instead of here, if that's okay with you. First, however, I have to help dig a path out of the driveway.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks for your comment. The story of your coworker is indeed sad, and I fear not uncommon. I feel lucky to have a partner who is as invested in the whole project as I.
from elgan :
Your holiday travel story was very well told. I’m glad you only experienced that one “white” moment, and that you didn’t go ballistic. Airport security has no sense of humour, after all. Thank you so much for your long reply to my post. I have often felt that I am not taken seriously by my professional colleagues because of my decision that family mattered more than fame, but I think of what I am doing as leaving a legacy much more important than a few CD recordings or some annotated scores. And then, I also have all those students who hopefully have taken something away from my studio over the years. The more I know you on electronic paper, the more inclined I am to agree that we must meet for coffee someday soon.
from dandlioneyes :
good luck with the application! you know, teranika, i don't feel so awful about the postdoc. it was a long shot anyways, and since i have angst about the future and whether i will keep up with academia in the first place, having a bit of a buffer time without it might be healthy for me. plus, we want to start a family soon, and i could use a bit of time and space for that. we'll see. i think the next few years will be deciding in terms of my career, but i am up to the challenge. thanks for your kind note(s). keep us posted on the job application! night night!
from elgan :
Yes, come to Canada! Please?
from dandlioneyes :
sage advice. i appreciate your sincere thoughts and comments. i don't know why i fluctuate between wanting to have both names, to wanting to keep mine, but it is something i'll figure out before too long. since i've published, "jones" will always be a part of me. identity, to me, isn't necessarily attached to a name, since even my first name is different depending on who i am with. again, i'm very grateful for your kind words, also about the cats. more on that front, later! sorry about your tub!
from elgan :
That last guy is heading for a Nobel prize. Keep an eye on him.
from time2 :
Of course you are correct, cuz, ur. They drive me nuts, and I however, have resigned to using cos instead of because..why? Cos I'm lazy. I think in the context of the chat room or texting these words are a neccesary EVIL. If you are in school writing an assignment then use the proper words, dock the student points on the grade and when they ask why, tell them...."hey stupid! cuz ain't no word" Anyway....
from dandlioneyes :
what did you do with the cats when you left? one of them is such a happy camper inside with us, a young male - and he'd easily turn into a pet, because he's quasi adopted us already. i can't let him be an indoor cat, because our apartment is only 450 sq. ft., something like 40 square meters. and i have a cat, who is currently living with my mom. while we are in california, e.g. in a temperate climate, i'm still distraught about the whole thing. that, and my husband isn't the cat lover that i am. he tolerates them, but isn't the biggest fan... thanks for your note. have a good weekend!
from elgan :
n e 1 = anyone
from harri3tspy :
I'm inclined to side with elgan. The problem is definitely spreading. Here at my institution of higher learning, which has a pretty hefty writing requirement before students are even admitted, I am regularly shocked by the poor quality of some of the writing. I know of a number of faculty members who have gone so far as to state their policies opposing the kinds of shorthand notations you mention in their syllabi in any written communication. The university opinion is that all classes should stress writing skills and everyone should be involved in helping students learn to write like the intelligent and educated people that they are (or at least are becoming).
from elgan :
Short forms like "cuz" and "n e 1" are inexcusable in written correspondence to a professor and punishable by red pen marks on an exam or in an essay. While it is not your job, per se, to be correcting spelling and grammar, good written skills sure go a long way to proving to you, the professor, that your student is not an idiot and really knows what he is talking about and can express himself well. This is a phenomenon that must not be humoured. We are watching the deterioration of written English.
from elgan :
Bureaucracy, you gotta love it!
from elgan :
Mazal tov!
from harri3tspy :
Congratulations! That's wonderful!
from elgan :
That was so sad and so beautiful and so upsetting all at the same time. You are a good person, Teranika. Have a happy Thanksgiving.
from elgan :
I don't know of an actual publication, but I did find the following websites, which are from a middle school and a high school respectively, which outline proper choir etiquette: http://www.hollandhall.org/Middle/Choir/Choir%20Handbook04.html, http://hs.houstonisd.org/WaltripHS/departments/choral/Choir_Handbook.htm. You are perfectly right. The choristers have a responsiblity to mingle with the parishioners after the service because there will be plenty who will want to compliment them. The audience did not pay money to hear a concert, but they pay in other ways, and the singers must earn their praise by going out to get it. There will be no cheque in the mail, so to speak.
from dandlioneyes :
i don't know anyone fighting. maybe my attitude would be different if i did - maybe i'dbe even stronger anti-war? i dunno. i think the only thing that can make a difference now is if the US actually leaves....
from elgan :
When they scheduled the colloquium you already had the choir concert inked into your agenda. You must take your responsibilities seriously. "Sorry guys, but I already have a previous commitment on that date. You'll either have to reschedule or go ahead without me."
from elgan :
From my own experience, marriage is not so bad. However, I understand that planning a wedding can be enough to put a kibosh on the whole endeavour. I was lucky. A. and I were married in a civil ceremony by a Unitarian chaplain (that’s what you get for interfaith weddings these days) in my parents’ living room, and my mother did all the arrangements, all the cooking, only our closest family and friends were there, and most importantly of all, I NEVER CHANGED MY NAME!
from time2 :
what can I say, since I am not yet a citizen I didn't get to vote. I tried my best to convince people around me that Bush is not who this country needs. I do however live in a very Republican state and around people who are very ignorant and biggoted. I live in Utah, what more can I say.
from dandlioneyes :
thank you for your note and your thoughtful entry. i agree - now is the time for activism, not passive observance.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks for that entry. You have just written what I have been trying to articulate in various ways all day. I feel the need to take action, but so far I haven't a clue what to do.
from time2 :
Isn't that always the way, it's for the entire college community and yet only a "selected" few are allowed in at one time. You must be very special.
from elgan :
Teaching evaluations are a questionably necessary evil, since they give the university some idea that you are being an effective pedagogue. Unfortunately, they assume that the students know something, which unfortunately most do not. How can students assess whether or not you are very familiar with your subject when they know zip about it, for example. If it is a course which they are required to take, their comments will be worse than if it was an elective. You can't win. I am sure you are an excellent professor, on top of your subject and sympathetic to your students' needs. Don't let a few bad apples ruin your day. The system expects those wormy ones and makes allowances for them, especially the "jokers".
from time2 :
I can't believe I just typed greatful instead of grateful and didn't catch it. I am so ashamed ( hangs head )
from time2 :
It's so sad whenever anyone is diagnosed with cancer, it is such a shock to the system. Even though she has fought through it once before, I'm sure it is no easier to hear. It will mean so much to have her teacher to be able to talk to, as I'm sure you know it is nice to have a decent realtionship with your teachers while going through college, she will be greatfull for the ear.
from elgan :
I too have developed an aversion to flying, but mostly because I suffer from motion sickness, and no matter how much Gravol I've taken, it is during ascent and descent that I am prone to feeling woozy. But I have developed an even greater aversion to airports, especially since all the security has been upped. It does not make flying a pleasant experience.
from elgan :
What a great story! I too had to replace a plumbing part, a toilet ballcock (don't you just love that word?) in a toilet box that turned out to be fitted with non-standard fittings, and ended up buying new fittings too to get my new ballcock to fit. At least I didn't have any schmucks asking me why I didn't get my husband to do it. What a jerk!
from harri3tspy :
Ugh. Those proposal tools are aggravating. I've been wrestling with one myself this week. There are times when I'm not sure technological advance has been entirely useful. It would take me a fraction of the time with a typewriter. If I could only find one. Good luck!
from dandlioneyes :
folkloristics - the study of folklore. which is inherently interesting, for sure. but then: i'm doing the history of folkloristics. which is a bit more obscure. but i do know that marketable skills that i have include being able to write and research and realize projects independtly... ;) hope you are enjoying a nice weekend!
from dandlioneyes :
hi there. thanks for your answer to my awfully prying questions. i guess i'm just at the burned-out point where i wonder what to do. i'm an "academic brat" - both parents - and i've never envisioned myself doing anything else. and many things in academia appeal to me - schedule, interesting research, a certain degree of independence. but i'm also in such an obscure field that it just isn't clear if a job will come along... and would i want one? i have a post-doc application in, which would seem like a nice transition. we'll see. in any case, i'm glad you got through your phd experience in a way that didn't leave you too burned. ;) thanks for all your notes! btw, hear hear on your "steward of the land" comment. i was amused/shocked by the fact that w. called kerry kennedy.... night night!
from elgan :
I'm sorry about your proposal falling through. These things happen.
from dandlioneyes :
thanks, btw, for leaving me notes. i'm glad that my antics are somewhat amusing.... how did you get through the phd? what field were you in? are you happy in academia?
from elgan :
Ilonina has a "friends-only" membership at www.livejournal.com. In order to have access to her journal, you must open your own account there, and then give her your screen name and she will add it to her "friends" list. Then you will be allowed in. In order to give her your new information, you can always email her at ilonina@diaryland.com. This is how I first corresponded with her, and it seemed to work fine. MSN Messenger is for instant messaging, and while I know that she has a Hotmail address, which qualifies her for the service, I don’t know if she uses it. I have never actually chatted with her online, our correspondence has been limited to emails and the leaving of notes either here at Diaryland or at Livejournal. Good luck!
from elgan :
Wow! What a story! One thing bothers me. Orthodox Jews do not cremate their dead because the bodies are supposed to become reanimated at the coming of the Messiah (my father used to say "You should live so long!"). My parents’ orthodox neighbour was aghast that my father had willed his remains to the University of Toronto medical school because it meant that whatever was left of him would be cremated and not in any condition to rise up at the appropriate moment. What you say about B's family being Jewish and seeing cremation as appropriate for a Jewish burial is new to me.
from elgan :
teranika, my dear, it is possible to get an almost daily dose of ilonina, but you have to join livejournal.com in order to do it. If you are interested, you know my number.
from dandlioneyes :
i have not thesis-tripped yet... which i think, probably, is a good thing? thanks for stopping by and leaving a note. hope you can get your coffee machine back in order soon....
from harri3tspy :
Thanks for the recommendation. I am not familiar with that book. I'll have to check it out!
from elgan :
Oh no! I'm so sorry about your coffee maker, especially since you were so long in the anticipation and so short in the enjoyment thereof. "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again."
from harri3tspy :
I just wanted to say how much I've been enjoying your diary since I stumbled on it via elgan's page a few weeks ago. Today's entry sounded all too similar to a situation in my own department a few years ago. Even though I'm in a more female-friendly field (music), it's horrifying what the women faculty feel they have to hide in order to compete. As I'm now about to venture into the academic job market myself, I'm trying to bear this in mind.
from elgan :
Sukkot, the plural of sukka, means tabernacles, and the holiday is thus dubbed the Feast of Tabernacles. You will notice in your Jewish neighbours' backyards little plywood huts with roofs covered in branches. They are supposed to be left open because the Children of Israel trekking through the desert could see the stars through the openings as they slept. The holiday, not really as minor as you make it out, lasts 7 days (8 in the diaspora) and is heralded in a beautiful synagogue service, involving a lulav (branches of myrtle, palm and willow bound together) and an etrog (a citron). The celebrants are supposed to spend as much time as possible in their sukkah, including taking their meals. It's really quite lovely.
from elgan :
Congratulations on landing the keynote address spot. I'm convinced you will be wonderful!
from elgan :
My dear teranika, I would like nothing better than to be conveying my life to you over a cup of coffee. Thank you for the kind suggestion. I feel less discouraged already. I also enjoy your diary mightily; I can relate to your departmental foibles and your love of singing, and I get very excited whenever your name is lit up on my buddy list.
from elgan :
Hello teranika, it's always a pleasure to hear from you. I agree with you completely that professional people in a professional environment should dress appropriately for the work place. Unfortunately, the two bodies I was referring to do not belong to faculty, but to students, and there is no dress code for students. One would hope that good taste would prevail, and that people have friends who let them know that a certain style does not flatter. This does not appear to be the case. My own husband, who is as red-blooded as I have ever met, says that their mode of dressing has just the opposite of the presumed intended effect on him, which I'm positive is not what the girls’ were planning on. It is not so much their size that bothers me (one of my own students is much larger, but always dresses modestly, and for her recital last year wore a gown which was very beautiful and tasteful), but their lack of awareness of how awful they really look. time2 actually suggested that I should have thrown a grape down the one girl's cleavage. Anyway, I hope we've done with this topic for now.
from time2 :
I just thought of this, if you have email contact with Elgan and would prefer to get it that way, that would be fine too.
from time2 :
you are more than welcome to the password, how would you like to recieve it. I don't like leaving it on peoples notes since anyone can access the diaryland notes. You should set up your email here on diaryland that way I can just email it to you, or just email me. I'm glad Elgan thinks that I am "mostly" harmless she is one of the few lol T
from elgan :
Aha, I see that I have become a source of referrals. Hmmm. It's all right, I think time2 is mostly harmless. I meant to drop a note commiserating with the joys of academic bullshit, and so I shall. Have you noticed how little of your daily employment actually deals with the edification of young minds? Congrats on the madrigal group. I am green with envy.
from time2 :
Hi there, I swindled your name from Elgans secret safe...actually I did find your name on Elgans diary. I hope you don't mind me reading, I have enjoyed your entries and will continue to read. Oh yeah, happy belated birthday.
from raven9 :
Hello how are we doing today? I dont know you and you dont know me but its ok. well you are 1 out of 26 people that I left a letter today to. you are blessed... I think or are you cursed? who cares... lol well bye bye.
from elgan :
Aw, happy birthday, Teranika! I would gladly have raised a glass with you, and shall think of you the next time I do so.
from elgan :
Thank you for your sympathetic note. The sad part of this story is that a major employer of unskilled, unilingual anglophones in my town is a telemarketing company which targets American victims. I know people who work for this employer and pity them heartily. What a lousy job. And you are right, there is a deeper cause underlying my lashing out at this poor, hapless fellow who is probably only trying to pay his rent and feed his abundant offspring, but I am constrained from talking about it at the moment. I have never lost a student’s exam paper or essay, since I don’t give those kinds of classes, but I can imagine the panic you experienced. I once misplaced my students’ marks sheets and had a moment of sheer terror.
from elgan :
Thanks for adding me to your favourites. I'm flattered and touched.
from elgan :
Welcome back! I have missed your voice on these pages. It is good to hear it again.
from elgan :
We've been on strike this past week at my university, and while it was kind of fun walking the picket line with my colleagues and getting to know people I would otherwise not socialize with, there was always that nagging feeling that I should really be working, that my students were going to be so far behind. As it turns out, we settled just a few hours ago and regular classes resume on Tuesday. But the sense of anxiety remains.
from elgan :
As for your most recent spate of the red-tape, tangled web we weave, OY!
from elgan :
As for your most recent spate of the red-tape, tangled web we weave, OY!
from elgan :
Thank you for your kind notes. I recently took some crazy personality test to determine what famous world figure I most resemble. I actually took the test twice. The first time it was Gandhi, and the second Mother Teresa! I don’t think of myself in this way particularly, but your comment about how I try to be helpful is true, although sometimes it backfires when my advice is not wanted. Check out http://elgan.diaryland.com/031206_68.html for one such instance. As a result, I am now circumspect about whom I try to help and try to couch my language in as diplomatic a fashion as possible. If at any time you feel that I am meddling, please let me know. Also, thanks for alleviating my guilt feelings about my contribution to global warming. I think it’s very cool that this is your field of expertise. All I know how to do is teach singing and raise kids!
from elgan :
Now I know why New Yorkers all have answering machines and never answer the phone themselves. This way they can monitor the calls without having to get to the phone itself. You might consider it, although I have always felt it is very rude to a legitimate caller, but then how are you to screen out the legitimate callers from the illegitimate? Anyway, I hope your settling-in process is no more painful than it has already been.
from elgan :
Wishing you a joyous new year, and good luck in your move back to North America. Your description of New Year’s from a hilltop in Germany is priceless.
from raven72d :
Hot'n'Sour Soup. It's a sovereign remedy for a multitude o' things.
from elgan :
Thanks for your acknowledgement of my contribution to your get-well fund! For further discussion of agrimony, see http://www.botanical.com/botanical/mgmh/a/agrim015.html. It’s really quite extensive. There is a brief reference to it as a relaxant for the throat, and I think this is where it gets its reputation for being the tisane of choice for people who use their voices professionally. Hope you’re feeling better soon.
from ilonina :
Rotlicht! Sitting in front of a red light for five minutes four times a day. The Boy swears by it, and makes me do it whenever I have a cold. I suspect it's a form of socialist indoctrination, myself.
from elgan :
You don’t know me, but ilolina and I are on each other’s lists. I’m really sorry that you have the flu and wish you a wholehearted recovery in short order. I myself recommend echinacea, hopefully in capsule or tablet form, which might be what is making your German herbal tea so distasteful (it’s extremely bitter), and for your throat and to sleep I also recommend an infusion of agrimony (the singer’s friend) cut with mint, as it’s pretty bitter on its own too. Get well soon, my dear.
from ilonina :
Hugs, dear. Bickering stages need not last, and Germans are peculiarly intrusive about their need to help in practical ways, and consequently to feel superior to one in practical ways. Whoever invented the cross-cultural relationship? A maniac, that's who.
from teranika :
To quote Fats Waller: "I'm gonna sit right down and write myself a letter...and make believe it came from you." Just curious if these message things work.

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