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i don't think i'm an introvert, nor am i an extrovert. those terms just sound like black and white to me. i see people as boring most of the time when they have nothing to offer me in terms of intelligence, beauty, vulgarity, and cultural influence. most people fail me. if i nod my head it's because i can be civil and i hate to be rude, even to those who bore me to death. the thing with me and people is that if i feel like they can't teach me anything, i can't help but zone out in their presence and take myself to better worlds, where people are not just "boring" or "outgoing." life's relative and i think i'm a lot of pieces of it, rather than a label that's been made popular but inept psychologists.

from foxy-316 :

You're right about what M could/might say to me. Luckily he is going away for the summer so that'll for sure be 3 months apart which I think will give me some time to step back and refocus. I truly appreciate your comments/advice! You are very wise, thank you so much.

from witty-remark :

Thank you, lovely. <3

from foxy-316 :

So true about the guys that don't want to use you. Glad you understand what I mean, I've been so angry at myself and thinking it was completely irrational so it's great to have someone in my corner :-)

from darthuae :

i love you!

from fairybones :

aww, you are so lovely. thank you for your thoughts and wishes, doll! <3

from fairybones :

haha, thanks! and, one week in and you are totally right on the beautifully terrifying aspect of it all. i am experiencing that exact blur of emotions right now. at first i couldn't see past the lovely 'aww a little sweet baby that's half me/half him' part, but it's already hit me that the only way i'm actually going to get a baby is if i squeeze it out my little delicate loins first. no matter how ready you are, or how mature you usually tend to be, the thought of that is still frightening beyond anything else, and a little nauseating. the only thing that makes it okay is knowing how worth it it will all be in the end.

from stepfordtart :

'lets have sex to get pregnant' feels like the most daring, scandalous extravagance. Your body goes 'but you could...' and then it goes 'uh, I KNOW!' and then it goes '....So?' and raises its eyebrow until you start giggling. Hope that helps! s x

from fairybones :

oh gosh, that photo is too adorable. i'm posting it on my tumblr right now! do you have a tumblr too?

from darthuae :

yes!!!!!!! i love the hell out of you.

from fairybones :

i sure am! <3

from darthuae :

sounds like a big deal to me.

from darthuae :

here's to your beauty coming out in words.

from fairybones :

google "nauseous nancy". also, i would highly recommend working on a lavender farm, it was one of the greatest summers i've ever had!

from witty-remark :

Don't fret, it's unlocked now.

from darthuae :

le petite prince!

from darthuae :

i'll take you by the hand and lead you through this daft city, i'll take your head for a spin in the wild night until someone tells me to come home.

from darthuae :

please come home this winter, please o please.

from darthuae :

you have no idea how much your words mean to me. you make me cry, you silly prude.

from darthuae :

you can have my mind for the night. i wouldn't be needing it.

from darthuae :

my fingers are cold for you, dear.

from darthuae :

hey craizee. look what i learned to do on the internet: ♥ it's almost 5am, i can't sleep. why don't you write, i love it when you write, i really really do. and you didn't send me your address, bitch. i've been drinking a lotta tea lately. sitting in the dark. i'll see you this winter, k?

from darthuae :

diary, not blog.

from witty-remark :

Baking is simple! You just need a little patience. I like cooking as well, but I don't think anything is as literally sweet as baking. And thank you!

from witty-remark :

Consideration is a lost art. Or maybe one that was never mastered in the first place.

from darthuae :

next time it's going to be a BITE.

from darthuae :

you are not worthy of a diary.

from darthuae :

YOUR HEART IS A CLOUD. that is basically all you need to know.

from darthuae :

well now that i've fussed around with your template for a while i'm guessing it looks slightly wonky. tell me if it's still bad when you actually do write something. k?

from darthuae :

hey man. i tried fixing your template tonight. hope it works though<3 what are you doing and what are you up to? at least i know where you *are* :)

from darthuae :

man i am so fucking sedated at the moment. been having these wicked headaches all day / though, must say (better said in email i guess..) your list is ALIVE. oh, i am so disturbed now. my list is up to 92 of nonsense today (92!) - like i told you, i need to reach the 100 mark to be fair and diverse. will show you later..but not the world, ok?

from darthuae :

ah we're definitely gonna be needing heroin after this. oh my, it doesn't look bad at all. niice man.

from darthuae :

Yo, batman. You're everywhere but where I want you. You must come back this summer with threaded bracelets (I need those so.) You have to come back with your renewed canada inflicted character (or school inflicted, whatever) & amuse me - Do you think you are the same 12th grader today? - I can't take lit classes because I'm in engineering school - see if that makes sense, prude. I wish I had someone work this out for me. Wouldn't that be fucking awesome? To have some sort of creature live inside your head & tell you how to do things? I guess they call it a 'brain' & I feel sortof behind. (Oh my, ramble..) I'm waiting for the coffee to kick in so that I can study for some final :( (it's so early in the morning...)

from darthuae :

having a good time?

from darthuae :

we should just sit around all day and listen to david bowie sing "china girl" - sounds kinky?

from darthuae :

seems like we're both having an awful time. i'm sorry if i fucked up but i'm always here if you wanna talk.

from darthuae :

you should drink more tea.

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