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messages to theshivers:
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from dearedwin :
[SO MANY HUGS]
from dearedwin :
Okay, I’m using your proven good times as motivation, because I have a scheduled outing for which I don’t feel mentally prepared, and there’s no way out.
from dearedwin :
Text whenever the mood strikes! I’ve had the same number since 2001!
from kayemess :
I see you! I love what you write!
from dearedwin :
:( I’m sorry. I always see you! x
from dangerspouse :
Why is your self esteem so low? I should think after your previous entry (where you recieved quite a compliment about your writing from an established author) you'd have a bit more sense of self worth. Is everything ok?
from dangerspouse :
Thanks very much. Matches my bag, too :)
from dangerspouse :
I envy your varied, mentally stimulating job...but man, that would kill me! Bravo that you can do it. And I'm very proud of you that you marched. Please, please, god that I don't believe in, let it do some good....
from dangerspouse :
Good luck with the new job!! Yay! And any cries for help will be answered promptly with platitudes and false expressions of sympathy YAY!! :)
from dearedwin :
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from dearedwin :
Good luck, R!!! You’re so right about not getting things because you’re supposed to get other things. It’s nuts how it all pans out. Thinking good thoughts! If you haven’t already, schedule S1ng Street (on Netf1ix) in at some point. You will feel happy.
from narcissa :
good luck! that's so exciting, even to get this far. I hope you get the offer.
from kayemess :
Happy New Year to You! Sounds like you have exciting things happening already....
from narcissa :
my BF's birthday is the day before christmas and I'm the day after so oof, i hear you. Happy Birthday! i hope you have a great day, despite christmas craziness.
from dearedwin :
I FEEL you! Mine’s two days before Halloween, which is pretty much like Christmas anymore. And I don’t push it, and then nothing happens. Just had to bond there. x
from dangerspouse :
I agree. Why the hell has it taken this freakin' long to elect one of the many insanely qualified women to the post of President of the United States already? There wasn't ONE that was better suited to the position than someone like, say, George W. Retard? Not one?? Patriarchy sucks - it hurts us ALL to willfully disregard half the population just because they don't have a dick. I'd vote for a black Muslim woman for president, and be happy if the entire congress, senate, and all the cabinet positions were filled by other black Muslim women, as long as they were qualified Americans. I mean, CENTURIES have probably gone by where every single one of those slots was filled by a white Protestant male. No ever looks askance at that, right? Anyway, sorry, I digressed a bit there. As an ardent feminist this whole thing gets me riled up and I start rambling....
from dangerspouse :
Turning white and fainting is "fairly common" in children?? Remind me to send another 'Thank You' card to Dr. Vasectomy....
from dearedwin :
Are you telling me very, very interesting, never-before-seen photos of shadows on our “patio” with the Target chairs are not enough? *crying face* I have a free night. Maybe I’ll write!!!
from dearedwin :
Hey! I never saw your last note! I have thoughts (not about your staff comment, which didn’t sound jerky). I should write them down.
from dangerspouse :
*sigh* Pre-9/11 NYC certainly had a different vibe. I miss blissful ignorance....
from dearedwin :
I like that part where you said “my staff.” Big hugs. x
from dearedwin :
Big hugs! xx
from kayemess :
You can do it!
from dearedwin :
Man. Feel better, R & C!
from dangerspouse :
Your feelings are correct. Congratulations!
from dangerspouse :
OMG! It's been on my short list of feminist electronica project names for YEARS!! We're twins, I tell ya! Rock on sister :)
from catsoul :
I agree with you, a bobby pin is so different than a barrette. How could he not know, right. I wear clips frequently, and I know you know what those are. :) =^..^=
from jimbostaxi :
"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear. And the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." H.P Lovecraft. I say give it a try you got to be in it to win it
from dearedwin :
I’d definitely ask Ms. F@unaFrai1ty about how she made that transition from print to web.
from kayemess :
I have a mental version of that bag for similar reasons. If you'd like to "talk" in a less public place, I'd be interested because if you're googling Al-An0n, maybe there's an issue...
from dearedwin :
Message me on the FB with you’re preferred password! :D
from dearedwin :
Message me on the FB with you’re preferred password! :D
from jimbostaxi :
Why not all 3? I can see it now me stumbling around the food court with a bottle of whatever staggering up to the Taco Bell gimme a fucking burrito and some taco supremes and if anyone cracks any of my taco shells there a dead man!! Then after I'm fat fluffy fed with burrito stains on my shirt it's off to the Gap to vomit on the mannequin,,, come to think of it Im banned from that mall,,, nevermind :0)
from dearedwin :
Just googled FOMO. Now I know! Haha.
from kayemess :
I'm doing it too! I do it every year with my students but this year feels personal, 6000 words this week on my 2nd manuscript, like it just has to be done. Let me know if you need moral support, you can do it!
from dearedwin :
Sending more love. xx
from dearedwin :
Sending love!
from dearedwin :
Go on the trip. If not now, when? is the perfect reason. I know that’s the least of the stuff, but you know how things sometimes start spinning after you let yourself do the least pressing thing?
from kayemess :
it's just always so nice to hear from you
from dearedwin :
GREAT news!
from myra-lee :
Congratulations on your new homestead! It sounds so dreamy -- 1930s picture window + ability to walk to thing = get ready for greatness.
from kayemess :
congratulations! I remember how stressful the last one was but this house seems meant to be and for years to come!
from dearedwin :
Why does a cellar sound so romantic to me? I would probably put my office in the cellar. :D
from dearedwin :
2015 has been all about flux. Something about that 15 on the end seemed so promising. It’s not over yet, though! Really very glad to hear C doesn’t have the face the C. Here, things are the way they are, and in some ways, it’s the way I wanted them long ago; but because scary situations like C’s seem to pop up more now than ever, I am irritatingly grateful just to wake up every morning. xx
from boombasticat :
That really sucks. Really, just no response? Now I'm upset.
from kayemess :
Being an Aunt is the best, Mazel Tov
from dearedwin :
I wish we could all stop being so hard on ourselves. The expectations are through the roof. I know you just had a close friend endure some seriously tragic sh*t and I just had a friend two years younger than me have a heart attack out of the blue. Should that happen, you wouldn't have wanted to waste so much time bemoaning what you haven't done, right? You've done SO much. You're a superstar in the eyes of others (me!). I wish I had so much under my belt, and I probably never will (due to kid and life and whatever) but I'm not you, so you know? I know...sappy/already been said/go sit on a mountaintop, M., but I applaud you, always.
from boombasticat :
Oh, man.
from dearedwin :
The news actually was news, I guess. Damn.
from dearedwin :
I just cried while I stupidly watched CNN video footage of a man take a 2-year-old hostage in an Oklahoma Wal-Mart. I think things, the world, our lives arent making very much sense. Its hard not to cry. Cry on!
from dearedwin :
I love that youre writing in here again.
from boombasticat :
Well, shoot. Fantastic. Go get 'em.
from boombasticat :
Remind me what your book project is about?
from kayemess :
Argh bummer! But it sounds like your other route to academia is less fraught with Ph.D's, anyway...
from boombasticat :
Hey, for what it's worth, I was pulling for you. I'd hire you.
from kayemess :
Oh best of luck to you! Well well done to make it through that day, it's gruelling. No matter what you have an amazing career...
from dearedwin :
Thinking good thoughts, although it sounds like you dont need extra help! Good luck!
from dearedwin :
God, that would be ideal. Save the publishing woes, conferences and tenure worries, the professors I know have the best setups ever. Isnt professor near the top of the list of most desirable/stable careers at the moment? Anyhow, rooting for you, as always!
from dearedwin :
Right!
from dearedwin :
Sending big hugs. Im with you all the way, whichever way you go, although I, too, think theres something extra-special about adoption. xx
from kayemess :
I read! But still say lots, please. Can't wait to hear.
from jimbostaxi :
Im sorry to read about your coworkers situation, and i wish the best of luck getting pregnant real soon.:0)
from dearedwin :
You are the ruler. Congratulations, toasts, piatas!
from dearedwin :
That is super news. Why the hell would anyone *not* want you, especially if joining forces with another qualified candidate? Keep us posted, please.
from dearedwin :
Ugh, girl, I want to smother you with hugs, which may just send you overboard; so Ill send my love instead.
from kayemess :
Sending you as much comfort as words on the internet can muster - you've had a very hard time these last few years so here is hoping things look up soon.
from kayemess :
I'm so sorry Ms. Shivers. Good to hear your voice, sad though it may be.
from stepfordtart :
So sorry to hear about your friend - condolences from far away. I start chemo tomorrow for early stage breast cancer. Im 45. s x
from dearedwin :
Hello, ShiversGirl. Thank you so much for your note. It was pretty grand to have an update from you! I always think of pestering you about it on Twitter and then think better of it. Congrats on the new full-time gig! I hope you know I still want to be you when I grow up. Plodding along... :)
from soapboxdiner :
Hard to believe this is the first time I've logged in to Dland in months. Catching up just a little. Just wanted to say flux is soooo hard and draining. Once you get to the other side, it will be better. xoxo.
from dearedwin :
ack. im so sorry youre dealing with so much crap. if you ever need to call me and shout or cry down the line, please feel free!
from boombasticat :
This made me think of you. Chin up!: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/03/23/we-were-kittens-once-and-young/
from dearedwin :
aw, hey! no, not necessarily on here; although, i guess thats part of it. ive just realized as of late that theres nothing mysterious about me. in fact, i border on TMI most always. i met up with an old friend, who i hadnt seen in about 11 years, on tuesday night; and it occurred to me afterward that i just blather onesp. about old conquests for some reasonin a way that is sort of annoying (i feel). i think its, perhaps, me trying to make light of things from my past that i may be a bit ashamed of, and it comes off as this deluge of semi-confessions that does little to boost my allure. not that im trying to be alluring. in fact, i should probably try to be a little less neurotic. :)
from dearedwin :
At least know that everyone works it out differently. I know at least a couple tenured history professors who waited, then had a kidand still they manage to research/write books, submit their journal entries, teach a couple classes every semester, grade, travel, etc., etc. I am a sad little waif who has a hard time with everything. I have full confidence you could kick motherhoods ass.
from thisismywish :
Life is in limbo here. Please accept this rum and coke on me. Cheers.
from oh-sweet-pea :
holy moly, i've missed so much and i want to give you a big, big hug. yes, learning is good and hard, but it's time to turn a corner. here's to 2011!
from dearedwin :
your most recent entry made me tear up. so beautiful. ive not responded to the rundown of everything thats been going on because im always the first one to do it and sound stupid and also because its so difficult to say anything. you dont deserve these circumstances, but youre so incredibly strongstronger than you actually know, i thinkand i believe youll come out right side up in this situation.
from dearedwin :
Thanks for the note! And for the Doris Lessing tip. Next library trip, Im on it. Sounds like just what the doctor ordered (apart from that hotel room thing). XOXOX!
from dearedwin :
The magazine sounds like a very cool gig! Fall will help us all.
from myra-lee :
Good. Grief. This whole thing is so shitty. I'm so sorry. The facts that (a) bank said go ahead and keep on making the payments with no mention of potential retroactive liability, and (b) none of the papers you were given mentioned retroactivity make me think you have a case. Not that I know this area of the law, but that can't be right. It's so completely shitty. Ugh. I really hope things work out. Either way, please let me know when I can order your book! Congrats on being almost done with it! That alone is a coup that most of us will never manage.
from killsoft :
if you're an attractive or even decent looking female, homelessness doesn't have to be too bad...
from boombasticat :
Hey, California! So Matt Pond PA's "East Coast E" popped up in the iPod shuffle this morning and it reminded me of you. Hope all's well with teaching and with writing and with life. Would like to hear more about the book project. Such as: title? Premise? Has it been fun? And how do you stay sane amidst the paper-grading?
from allmadhere :
Heh, I was about to say what dearedwin said: Feels weird to say "go fertility!" but there you have it. I wish you good luck and a little one in the near future. :)
from kayemess :
With ANY arrangements at all, let alone all the goodness and support you have in place, you are 99.9% ahead of the curve of most expecting parents. And somehow, it works out anyway - os for you it's going to be awesome. Yay!
from kayemess :
With ANY arrangements at all, let alone all the goodness and support you have in place, you are 99.9% ahead of the curve of most expecting parents. And somehow, it works out anyway - os for you it's going to be awesome. Yay!
from dearedwin :
I feel weird cheering on your uterus, but go, you! Your child care arrangements sound pretty perfect. And I think your one day at home will totally suffice. I feel very grateful to have been home with A-belle all this time, but I find myself missing grownup talk on an hourly basis at this pointand you know meI dont even get on with more than a handful of grownups...So, anyway, Im so stoked for you, for the million-and-second time.
from dearedwin :
I am so excited for you and C., the new kitten, the baby-making... D. was just complaining about how he misses the hotness of the baby-making. Ha. So, anyway, TMI, but I hope you guys have a good time with it. At the very least, that Karen Elson records going to make it a pretty damn good summer!
from dearedwin :
From an objective perspective, youre doing such an awesome job post-layoff; and your summer sounds simply dreamy. I want to read your book, so make it happen!
from dearedwin :
I think you should spend time with a really crappy friend and then quickly feel better about it all.
from dearedwin :
We all love you long time!
from allmadhere :
Catching up on my dland after too long, and I just wanted to send you a hug. I hope the medicine helps you. And remember you're not alone on the to-kid-or-not-to-kid. It's such a miserable damn debate that the menfolk will never understand.
from kayemess :
faithful reader, hoping for the good times to start rolling for you. I'm sorry to hear about your sweet cat. The kid thing - why is it so complicated??? I don't wish I was back in the day but at least they didn't have to DECIDE - because it's a big decision. Pulling for you!
from arajane :
ugh. doctors. when i talked to my doctor about issues around having children, she told me that most women who don't have children are totally happy with their lives. seriously! it's like part of taking the hippocratic oath is having your soul sucked out of your body. anyway, i feel for you.
from arajane :
sorry to break it to you, but i still read you, too! i love coming back here to visit you few remaining diaryland folks and, strangely, find a lot of comfort in that. but i'm sorry to hear that you're still feeling down. losing a pet is totally the worst. go ahead and feel sad if that's what you want to do, that's what i say!
from dearedwin :
I read! Please order in a pizza, play some Go Gos and watch Gilmore Girls. If you want!
from boombasticat :
Nice to hear from you. And good luck.
from kayemess :
Cliche but true: there really isn't a right time and if you know in your heart you would regret not having 'em, you're doing the right thing! Good luck, it is an amazing journey!
from oh-sweet-pea :
It's kind of nice feeling 16 again (but feeling good at the same time that you are not). Congrats on the freelance gig, whoooo!
from boombasticat :
Congrats. Beating out 219 applicants is not nothing, you know.
from dearedwin :
I think that sounds just about perfect. Congratulations!!
from boombasticat :
Band of Horses is coming to a Rock Club Near Me. I wonder if, live, they're all somber and stuff? Anyway, hope you're doing well. Do you know of Dustin Pedroia, of the Boston Red Sox? He's from near Sacramento, I think, and is not a fan of that particular town.
from oh-sweet-pea :
I'm so behind on all d-land things, so I'm so sorry about your job, but dammit, you are a smart & resourceful lady. You will be fine!
from myra-lee :
I know this feeling. I have it right now, and I can only hope it will pass, as I hope your brush with it has.
from fuck--that :
"In brighter news, it's sunny today and there are flowers blooming and my husband loves me and I'm not dead yet." I love it! =) I'm sorry about the lay off, lovely! I hope the universe has something remarkable in store!
from boombasticat :
Aw, poop. Well, you've got the goods and the smarts. Keep your chin up. Their loss, for sure.
from myra-lee :
That just sucks. I'm really sorry. I hope it turns out to be a blessing-in-disguise sort of thing. That's how it was when Erik (husband) got laid off a few years ago. Now we look back and say, "Thank god that happened." I'm sure it doesn't seem like you'll feel that way, but I hope that's how it turns out. And I hope that for the immediate future, you find fulfillment and inspiration in taking on the list.
from arajane :
hey, i'm really sorry about your job. i know that even when you're prepared for it, it still sucks. i hope (and am sure!) you can find a way to make this into something wonderful for yourself. take care.
from dearedwin :
damn it. well, i hope the end of the numbness brings a whole lot of inspiration. i know it will.
from soapboxdiner :
They're losing the best. Email me if you decide you'd be interested in considering some independent contractor transcription from home while you're deciding your next steps. I can't guarantee 100% (I don't make the hiring decisions), but we're hiring and I know you have the skills we look for. I'd definitely put in an excellent word for you with my coworker who does the IC hiring. ~ Carla (botacellipeon at yahoo)
from kayemess :
oooooooooh crap. I'm so sorry to hear that. Really. I hope it feels better knowing somehow - like not waiting for that other shoe (or white envelope) to drop. You have diversified your skillset recently with the teaching and obviously are talented and I know you'll be fine. But still - Boo! I'm sorry.
from boombasticat :
I'm rooting for you.
from kayemess :
I have really really been thinking hard and hoping for you. It ain't fair and newspapers rule, that is all.
from oh-sweet-pea :
i like your list a whole lot. good luck!
from dearedwin :
i read, and i feel ya. im trying not to think about it, but ive already mentally prepared myself for d. losing his job (ad agency/mostly car accounts/yay). we dont own, but with three kids, were so frickin screwed if both of us should be out a job at the same time. just hang on tight. and dont go join an evangelical church. xoxoxo
from dearedwin :
can you ban the earbuds? that would infuriate the frick out of me. ugh.
from allmadhere :
I don't have any advice--I'm still not sure (leaning on the side of "no") about having a baby myself, but I am super happy for your decision and hope you all the best.
from dearedwin :
i so want to respond to your last post, but i feel like i lack the more positive hindsight that i know ill eventually have. i think kayemess advice is great. im curious to know if youve come to any conclusions!
from kayemess :
but being Mom can be so awesome. Honestly - everyone talks about the hard parts, including me, but she really is the sun and the moon to me. she makes every day exciting, waking up and seeing her. that doesn't mean I want to be at home with just her all the time - there are so many different ways of being a Mom. It sounds cheesy but seriously, honestly look into your heart - if it's something you think you want, there will be worries and fears but you should go for it. If you secretly know that it's really not something you want - in your deepest of heart - than it won't be worth it. Also, knowing your partner is 100% in it too makes it easier because doing this without mine is totally impossible to imagine.
from oh-sweet-pea :
there's no way, i'm sure. that's why i just say, kids? not for me. even when i'm holding a baby that is so soft. i just have to imagine myself really being a mom. no thanks.
from myra-lee :
why are those things so expensive?! I've probably spent $1000 throughout my life in purchasing assurance I'm not in a family way. And as for the last few years, I know what you mean in not really knowing how to feel about the results.
from dearedwin :
hm. HM! i'm very on-the-nose, too; but i certainly did have some late moments. and you've been working your ass off, i know (cos i secretly follow your twitter, as you never update!). but HM.
from illumiknitti :
nice to see you back. i used to be beatpoetgrrl, and i also just came back. come look me up!
from dearedwin :
the heat helps nothing. remember that, peach!
from kayemess :
Congratulations - you have gotten the job you've always wanted? As far as "what am I going to do with my life?", that seems like a pretty rad step. In fact, your year has seemed to me to be full of conquering and accomplishment. Awesome.
from dearedwin :
I agree with GB and urge you to fight your nature the best you can (if only because figuring it out all at once has never worked for me). Not having a house payment doesnt mean lack of worry these days. Maybe its different in Sac, but rent rivals mortgages in many parts. We have relatively low rent for what we have, yet we pay the same as my sister pays for a mortgage on a three-story home! And bills never go away, do they? Especially with part-time work....Just try to enjoy your Fourtheat welland pat yourself on the back for getting the promotion! If it isnt the right thing, that fact will make itself known pretty quickly, I'm sure.
from dearedwin :
(Sorry, Rory.)
from dearedwin :
Moby Dick = burdensome. Noted!
from elliestuff :
He, accidently got to this..aw..what a post..a full days worth & more of a journey taken by a fine journaler.
from elliestuff :
cool user name. hope the news wasn't too awful. strange we had a 15 minute storm here, wasn't even a tornadoe..and the winds knocked out power..so much some won't get any for 2 weeks. the wind knocked over trees too, and killed 2 teenagers.
from astralounge :
Thank you. :)
from dearedwin :
yes...check me again around bill time, but right now, i feel really good about it. i feel much better than i was feeling trekking to LA every day--i really do. i feel inspired for the first time in four months (longer than that, probably). haven't had a good hair day in a while, though!
from birdandegg :
I noticed you were listening to Exile in Guyville at some point in May. Great Album!!! My favorite song is Glory. (if i sound like a lunatic I apologize, it's rare I find Liz Phair fans)
from dearedwin :
you didnt!
from dearedwin :
thats a tough onebut lets focus on the beauty of the situation: OPTIONS!
from allmadhere :
I second: at least apply. Perhaps they'll surprise you with a decent salary and the creative change might be wonderful for you.
from boombasticat :
My buddy from work was Josh's plus-one. Reading his review of the show made me feel like a whiner, focusing too much on the rain and not enough on the rock. It was a really great show, but it's like when you have a migraine while at the best party of your life. BUT, you are done with school now and must feel like you have at least a little free time, right?
from birdandegg :
thanks bebe.
from fussbudget :
At least apply! I'm in the midst of a similar issue right now.
from myra-lee :
Sorry to hear about your boss quitting. That sounds like a shitty situation all around. Without a doubt, you would rule at law school. Journalists are always at the top of their law school classes, and you're not just your average journalist. And as for the tuition, you never know: you might get a scholarship! A good LSAT score can go a long way. And so can a ton of really interesting career/life experience. Admissions people eat that up.
from dearedwin :
oh my god, i love the e-minor. i also play this chord (i call it a chris isaak chord) leading up to it, and it makes it all dramatic. i also love the tremolo. if i could use it always, i would. i also suck.
from boombasticat :
My copy of Atonement is all warped, too. But from coffee, I think. Your wet-book story is better than mine. And thanks for your nice comment about me on your profile page. Although I feel it's a lot to live up to. I will try not to disappoint.
from dearedwin :
ah, have a great unwind in SC! that sounds just heavenly (anything would as i sit here taking a break from dusting crap around the house). and good luck on the promotion, but try to let it go for this weekend!
from myra-lee :
I can totally relate to the feeling of knowing you're going to miss your students. A few weeks ago, I was telling Erik how much I sincerely hope all my students go on to do well in law school and how I've been rooting for them this whole year, and I realized I was sounding a little Mr. Holland's Opus-ish.
from dearedwin :
um, you should totally write the book. that's a brilliant memoir idear, dear.
from boombasticat :
1967 = daisy-chain necklaces. 1973 = big fat sideburns and big fat striped neckties. 1979 = "We Are Family" at Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh.
from dearedwin :
aw, thanks, but im truly clueless. to be honest, i still feel 17almost that it's taboo that im pregnant. ha!
from boombasticat :
I love it. That's my kind of quarter memory. I like teaching, too, but I have to say that getting your remaining number of classes cut in half sounds OK some days, doesn't it?
from fussbudget :
I don't know if soliciting strictly his opinion is the best idea. It sounds like he's trying to play you with the "it's your first time" line. One way to get around it is to ask the entire class for feedback. Do an anonymous "How am I doing?" thing: ask their favorite and least favorite parts of the class and if there's anything they'd do differently if they were teaching. You might find some good suggestions, but chances are most will be "less work." (And yes, I don't post anymore, but I still read!)
from dearedwin :
i think asking the kid is the ticket. you can (a) see if hes just been talking out his ass or actually has some valid suggestions, and (b) show him that you value his opinion (supposing that his opinion is worthy). and im sure its frustrating to let this guy get to you at all, but anyone would understand that. this is why i commend you for teaching anyone over the age of seven. i sure as hell wouldnt! :)
from veganfuckk :
Hey, thanks for favouriting me! I doubt you'll care, but I looked up Whiskeytown after reading one of your entries, and I think Jacksonville Skyline just became my new 'bad day' song.
from dearedwin :
oh please keep prattling. im loving it. wow. i just spotted a diary in recent public entries called dirty1inda. that should be good, too.
from boombasticat :
The Matt Pond PAers are coming through town in a few weeks. I like the one album I have of theirs more and more. Got any new recent favorites?
from kayemess :
Indeed! That's part of why I don't move somewhere else, I think. You are totally part of my Comfort Internet, a phrase I will now use ceaselessly.
from myra-lee :
D-land is totally comfort internet! It's only a matter of time until comfort internet becomes part of modern parlance. Well put.
from dearedwin :
oh, oh, i know. although we don't have the weight of home ownership, the realization of paying for a third child when we can barely afford two has started to freak me out. i know everyone gets by, but i thought i'd do better than getting by. thankfully, as i've grown older, i want far less than i did even ten years go. i guess that's a good thing. but will i ever go to london again? will the dollar ever correct itself? can i even go on a road trip? and how come when i think of good times, they're now good times that were about 13 years ago?! ha.
from myra-lee :
Man, that album puts me in a seriously nostalgic state too.
from boombasticat :
I got the new Band of Horses and you're right. It's very good. It's got a nice mix of tempos. And good luck with your class.
from boombasticat :
I'll check out Cease to Begin. I have their first album, and Our Swords is one of my favorite songs right now. I can't stop listening to the newest Spoon album. I need someone to take it away from me. Been listening to a lot of Rilo Kiley and Jenny Lewis, too. My friends may have finally succeeded in getting me to like The Hold Steady. It took a while.
from boombasticat :
You probably get lots of music recommendations, but have you heard of J. Roddy Walston and the Business? They're Baltimore by way of Memphis and are a lot of fun. Kind of Southern-style rock and roll. They're one of those bands you see live and wonder why they're not a bigger deal than they are.
from dearedwin :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
from boombasticat :
So do you know this J. Freedom dude, at the Washington Post? I saw the other day that he used to be at, I think, your paper. I don't know him or anything, but I read a lot of his show reviews and album reviews and stuff. My buddy does freelance reviews for the Post and is friendly with him and seems to think highly of him, too.
from oh-sweet-pea :
whooo, congrats on the teaching pool gig!
from kayemess :
hello! so glad you're back and congrats!
from mrs-roboto :
That's awesome! Congrats.
from boombasticat :
Hey! Congratulations! That's really cool. Any idea what you'll teach?
from soapboxdiner :
I knew it! What'd I tell you. Was that fast or what?
from dearedwin :
you rule! now you just have to worry about those starry-eyed creative writing students being hot for teacher.
from soapboxdiner :
I bet you did great. My fingers are crossed that they call you back asap with much love.
from dearedwin :
i wanted to do the nanowrimo thing, too; but then i realized, oh, i'm trying to actually *finish* school. haha. congrats on the interview. not to sound like a total scholar, but you'll shred!
from boombasticat :
I'm glad you're hanging around again. Also, I will try more Matt Pond PA. I find myself humming the song "Closest" a lot.
from soapboxdiner :
what a lovely sounding trip. Have super fun - no bed at 8 p.m., got it? Unless you're snuggled with something fabulous, mind you. Happy Birthday, C!
from colddigits :
I never come here anymore but was bored at work - great to see you're updating!
from dearedwin :
gah, you make me miss diaryland. the LJ this is STILL just so...eh.
from dearedwin :
aw, i just tried your guestbook to see if it still works, but i don't think it does. pah! anyway, this is awesome you're taking it back old school. did you used to be migrainegir1? it's all so cloudy now...that was like 2001!
from myra-lee :
Oh man, I LOVE that new Matt Pond! I can't stop listening to it. I must have listened to Basement Parties 75 times. I'm so glad your cat is OK, pacemaker and all. And so glad you're writing here again!
from mariastuart :
That's why I keep some people for years in my buddy list, even when they don't write :) Sometimes they come back :)
from allmadhere :
You are missed!
from soapboxdiner :
There she is! What a lovely thing to see you!
from myra-lee :
I have missed you!
from mrs-roboto :
welcome back ... i just was thinking about you.
from boombasticat :
I got Matt Pond PA's "Emblems." It's instantly familiar in a good way.
from boombasticat :
I saw The Departed at the drive-in on Friday. Oh, man.
from dearedwin :
tell GB happy birthday for me. it's my day of aging as well. i've cried a number of times already. yay! (the fall is so wonderful, though...)
from boombasticat :
It's been a few years, but what I remember is great lyrics and really good musicianship. And acoustic guitars and Matt Pond sitting down and a violin. Haven't heard any recorded music. You're a fan?
from boombasticat :
I've not forgotten about your Sedaris story. I'm saving it for when I don't have to read any more English comp. papers.
from allmadhere :
Wishing you and your hubby all the best regarding his job...
from miralogue :
congrats on your accomplishment! i'm proud of you. miss talking all the time; i'm still yr groupie! xoxoxo
from mrs-roboto :
?
from boombasticat :
I saw the OK Go video on your other blog, and I'm ashamed to say I'd never heard of them. But that video works just fine for me and now I've got friends buying their albums. They should pay you something, maybe 16 cents per video view.
from boombasticat :
Just wrote to him care of his publisher, yep. I've done it with five or six, and one guy (Edward Hoagland) actually called me back and left a voice message. He actually critiqued what I'd sent him, via voicemail. Helped me out. And I'd love to read your work. Do you have an email address on your page? I'll check it out.
from boombasticat :
You make me want to go to my bookshelf for the Capote. I remember the setting as very cold and lonely. And the two main guys the same way. I'm reading McEwan's "Saturday" now. It's kind of slow going, I'm ashamed to say. It's what happens when a master writer crams a whole bunch of thinking into a single narrative day. He's so smart I almost can't stand it.
from kstyle :
hi there! i am an old friend of k. maria's, from diaryland. i was wondering if you have a current email for her. we have lost touch, and her dland and comcast addresses are both dead ends. if you can help me, my email is mkaro@cox.net thanks! michael
from mrs-roboto :
Your friend is very lucky to have you.
from mrs-roboto :
Hugs. It's going to be okay.
from boombasticat :
That photo of your aunt is really great. I wonder what she thinks of it now?
from nudeplatypus :
I actually have plans to write a book. A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I was going to get serious about it and begin writing it. I bought various supplies and whatnot. And then I sat my ass on the couch and watched an America's Next Top Model marathon on VH1.
from notanias :
i just wanted to let you know that i've moved diaries (unfortunate things happened). so i'll be updating over here, now. (the former) beatpoetgrrl
from cheekyash :
just staggered across your words and thoroughly enjoyed them
from boombasticat :
Sorry to send a link this way, but I thought you might like this, if you haven't seen it already. http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/mfa.html
from mrs-roboto :
I totally agree with you. Pete and I just went out drinking the night before our $1500. wedding for 50 at Graceland. My dress was a 2nd hand prom dress I got at the Salvation Army. I did not force any one to drop cash on bridal parties or other primative bonding sessions like matching poofy dresses. It just seems rude and thoughtless, no?
from mrs-roboto :
I'm pretty "ah" about d-land these days too.
from sushipurple :
ANTM was better than Project Runway last night! what fun it all was, though! :)
from f-i-n :
hugs! (())
from lanatana :
Random props... Don't worry, I'm pretty antisocial myself. I would much rather be home alone instead of out somewhere. xx, Lana
from oh-sweet-pea :
wow, that was a great entry. i too used to go to see shows alone. yes, indeed, where did that girl go?
from mrs-roboto :
"Marriage is a strange and furious beast sometimes, you know?" Absolutely! This entry was beautiful and I know exactly where you are coming from.
from mrs-roboto :
Thanks so much. It means alot coming from a seasoned journalist like you.
from mrs-roboto :
Here it is .... http://www.realchangenews.org/current/teamwork.html Um, I didn't choose the title Teamwork - in fact I went with the pithier "Marrying Advocacy and Action" but I assume the editor knows what works...
from mrs-roboto :
You should just ask the universe for a new you .... ;)
from kstyle :
have you heard from k. maria? do you know what she's up to?
from mrs-roboto :
Sounds like Autumn is hitting you hard. I hear you on the alone time thing. God, will I ever have time to myself again, I wonder. If I'm not at work, I'm at school. If I'm not at school, I'm try to make a dent in the laundry or see a friend for a few minutes or something. I never have any time to just fuck off alone. Sigh. Oh wait, this was supposed to be about you. Sorry. I hope you have fun alone and just watch crap tv or read trashy magazines or something good like that.
from oh-sweet-pea :
thanks for your good thoughts!
from colddigits :
Who wants a boy who doesn't like Wilco? Seriously, I stalk my exes on google all the time, and I really hope it doesn't mean I'm a bad wife or person. I just get so curious. Hope you're doing well - congrats on the house!
from mrs-roboto :
Oh reviewing the vinyl collection and receiving mixed tapes as gifts.....those are endearing memories. I googled an ex recently to learn he and his wife had just had a baby. Strange since he always told me he didn't want kids. I felt sort of betrayed in a way - isn't that odd?
from mrs-roboto :
you got it - I'm thinking good thoughts.
from icefacade :
i'm currently on the 2 year plan myself
from boombasticat :
Ever write memoir stuff? And do you have any to recommend?
from icefacade :
hell yeah water recipes!
from mrs-roboto :
oh my those are awesome!
from boombasticat :
I see that Mills just hired Yiyun Li. I've never heard of her but the announcement made her sound super-fantastic. So when you move into this house, make yourself a writing room. An office. A writing office room.
from mrs-roboto :
My grandmother taught me to sew about 16 years ago but the machines available today are so much better then what I started on. It would be easy to teach yourself with a good machine and a few books. Singer puts out an book called Sewing Step By Step which is indispensible.
from herskin :
you have fantastic taste in music.
from mrs-roboto :
can you please tell me how you got your flicker pic to show up in the blog like that? I can't figure it all out.
from heidiann :
Oh lordy lordy lordy...how I relate.
from boombasticat :
Sorry to hear about the house troubles. You'll get there. But Rilo Kiley, yes, like them a lot. And I'm excited because tonight on Austin City Limits it's the Flaming Lips and The Shins. Two kinds of wackiness.
from mrs-roboto :
oh man, for a minute I was so impressed. I am sorry the first house fell through but we had a similar thing happen to us twice. You will find the right house and then you'll budget as necessary. All the pieces will come together, I promise.
from mrs-roboto :
Wait - *THE* Junkyard Dog? Like of WWF Fame?
from mrs-roboto :
HOORAY!!!! Please post pics of the new abode and CONGRATULATIONS you silly homeowner.
from mrs-roboto :
"I am both excited and apprehensive. We don't have the house and I already have buyer's remorse - this is normal right?" Yes, perfectly.
from mrs-roboto :
hee hee hee. can I have an emergency "I'd Rather Be Doing Something Else Day?"
from mrs-roboto :
Looking for a house is VERY stressful. Try to remember that you have all the time you need to find the right one, that really there is no hurry. I remember what you are going through all too well. There was one house I loved. It was by the airport and near a waterway that various industrial companies dumped their chemical waste into BUT it had classic victorian architecture. Pete and I fought about that house for weeks. It had dry rot. I still wanted it. It had a shared easement - didn't care. I LOVED that house but you know what? In the end, I didn't get that house b/c Pete was sort of right. It had a million things that sucked and one thing I liked. For a year, I'd drive by stalking that house. I didn't know we'd find the home we live in now and that I'd love it the way I do. So keep that in mind, try not to stress, things will work out and you'll find a home.
from mrs-roboto :
Thank you! I am planning to "move" from d-land to my own domain sometime soon and maybe then I set up a section for my crafts.
from mrs-roboto :
Gosh, I felt terrible just reading that email. I'm sure she doesn't mean it to sound so exclusionary and I'll bet you're right, she's in mourning and hurting. Hang in there.
from shadowdress :
thanks for the encouraging words. i do feel better today after letting it out.
from ravenstears :
http://dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/ to help with the baby monkey thing ^^
from boombasticat :
Thanks for your kind words from a few weeks ago. I'm with you now, thesis turned in and just awaiting the defense, which shouldn't be much of a problem. I'm revising now, which is somehow more satisfying than the actual first draft process. Feels like I've got it down, and now I'm just making what I already have better. That is, if the drafts are any good in the first place. Happy writing to you and thanks again.
from killdarling :
yay clem snide
from beatpoetgrrl :
hi there, and belated congratulations on your graduation! i've been out of the loop for a while, what with my ridiculous courseload this past semester... anyway, i'm starting to research MFA programs, and i thought of you as a person who is well-qualified to be advising me on that sort of thing. so if you would, that would be fabulous. thanks, beatpoetgrrl
from emo-blue :
I really liked your newest entry. It was the first one I read and I would like to be a part of your diaryring. How can I do that?
from mrs-roboto :
Something about the ohh and ahhing over the fake boobs kind of puts me off my sweet potatoes, you know?
from mrs-roboto :
Awesome on the extension. Boo that Xmas week is so busy. I'll have to get to Sacramento one day!
from boombasticat :
Yes, keep it up until the end. Writing gets better at such a slow pace. It's a maddening art, but very much worth it. Congratulations on getting it done. I'm done in the spring. Deadline's about two months away. By the way, I think you're superhuman writing a thesis while working full time. In awe over here.
from caralynne :
ooh, how i do love me some rilo kiley.
from caralynne :
its for a masters in creative writing, right?
from caralynne :
whats your thesis on??
from dearedwin :
you are so rad for being nearly done. please just focus on that and realize that while you ARE a great writer, a writer's life probably never, ever stops developing and evolving.
from boombasticat :
My friends all say: they give out graduate degrees in that? I'm at Old Dominion in Virginia, doing creative nonfiction. I'm wrapping up a collection of essays. I assume you're doing short stories? Kudos on getting so close to the end. I know what that entails: coffee, a dark room turned electric blue late at nights, coffee.
from boombasticat :
You inspired me to get back out there. You and San Francisco Chronicle forwards that keep showing up in my inbox. I can't help but notice, by the way, that you seem to be in an MFA program? Me too. How are the late nights and the weekends going?
from mrs-roboto :
That picture is awesome! Did you interview Moz recently? I feel terribly sick and distracted today too. I wish I still smoked because my nerves are a wreck.
from dearedwin :
i feel your pain. i'm sick, too, but skipped out on work and class yesterday. i'm at work today, but feel so terrible, i don't know if i can swing class tonight. as if i'd absorb anything. feel better soon!
from oh-sweet-pea :
ooh, that is so sad about your archives disappearing! i would cry if that happened to me. i'm sure they'll reappear with andrew's help. my fingers are crossed!
from miralogue :
loooooove the new layout. did you do it? i really erally really need a new one. i just don't feel inspired with all the crappy expired links and shit.... who should i ask? wish i could help but i am certainly not tech support.
from mrs-roboto :
I can't help you but I LOVE the new layout!
from dearedwin :
okay, you had to have known that this layout would get rave reviews from me. i love it! i have no idea about the bugs, though. hope someone can help you out with that. ooh, i just love it.
from cherrrybomb :
I'm still lurking around and thought I'd say hello. Oh how I do love that impending autumn-ness! Hope it banishes that 'ole 86 degree weather soon. :) xo
from myra-lee :
I just realized I signed your g-book using Yoda syntax.
from in-my-life :
I remember feeling inspired when you first talked about this. I'm digging around the website again trying to convince myself to different for a change, something a lot less self-involved than usual would be nice too.
from s-e-x52685 :
it looks like yu have a fanclub so im just gonna keep it short nd sweet... cool diary
from miralogue :
sooooooo. i think you can do wahtever you want, but i think, knowing of you what i do, that you should finish what you're working on. get a sense of accomplishment, win over your anxieties... then get the poli sci degree. no education is ever wasted my dear... and i'm writer-poli sci geek, so i can be your support system. i did both for undergrad and want to go back. shivery you can do whatever you want.
from parlance :
When I saw your username, I thought of two things. One of them being Dentyne Ice Shiver gum, and the other being the song Shivers by Coldplay [which I suggest you download] =)
from dearedwin :
i would do exactly that split. i think vogue said something along those lines as well. really, i need to stop reading vogue. i don't have the pocketbook of a true vogue woman. that stuff's for people like gwyneth paltrow or something.
from dearedwin :
that sounds like the perfect amount. one would hope that if you hand the tip to the main stylist, that he/she will share the wealth; but just in case, i deliver it personally to the the blow-dry people, especially if they're cute. ha. just kidding. really. mhm.
from oh-sweet-pea :
yes, definitely send me an email: oh-sweet-pea@diaryland.com
from reddirtgirl :
And by the way, you rock too.
from thecape :
your layout reminds me of the album cover of dave matthews under the table and dreaming
from primessa :
Did you take that picture? It's everything California is to me: inviting, haunting and ethereal.
from swimfanatic :
hey... kick ass diary. sorry to hear about your grandfather... it sucks. my grandfather who i was real close to passed away about 6 months ago. so i kno how it feels. but, just wanted to tell you that you have a great diary.
from swimfanatic :
hey... kick ass diary. sorry to hear about your grandfather... it sucks. my grandfather who i was real close to passed away about 6 months ago. so i kno how it feels. but, just wanted to tell you that you have a great diary.
from swimfanatic :
hey... kick ass diary. sorry to hear about your grandfather... it sucks. my grandfather who i was real close to passed away about 6 months ago. so i kno how it feels. but, just wanted to tell you that you have a great diary.
from madam-rose :
great site. im sorry u r sick. I hope u feel better soon!
from raw-voice :
wow - you must be riding a high right now! i'm living it vicariously. maybe it'll be my inspiration to get off my ass and FINISH my thesis (which i never did cause i met the page requirement first).
from jmehlmann :
I'm currently taking my first creative writing course (Advanced Studies in C.W., University level Honours), and it is at once frightening, cruel and heartening. Mavis Gallant decided in her youth that she would live in Paris on $500, and that if she wasn't a writer by the end of it, she never would be. I think of that when work and school conspire to paralyze thought altogether. Hmm. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here...That's something else I need to work on. Good blog is what I'm getting at probably. Kudos.
from itzie :
I'm still reading, if that makes you feel any better. I'm not so good at updating, though. I feel the same way sometimes - I don't feel like anyone is reading me anymore, and sometimes I think I should quit updating. But for now...
from raw-voice :
i see i'm not the only one addicted to your sounds. as for hot coffee vs dregs, the coffee is a cruel mistress. i've begun to feel enslaved by green mtn's spicy eggnog flavor. anyway, thx you for the music and the postcard!
from myra-lee :
Welcome back! And yay for the CD! Thank you so much! I'll confess I was worried we might've picked a lot of the same songs, but not a one. (I don't know why that's actually something to worry about anway. I'm just a worrywart, I guess.) I'm really loving that Yeah Yeah Yeahs song, and I didn't think I liked them. It's great! Also, I HATE bosses who use a lot of military language! Our Senior Editor does that. Just this morning she asked me if I was "ready to wage a full-blown attack" on a stack of proofs.
from ericapaige38 :
Well really it could be advice about anything. The whole follow your dreams thing will probably be done by someone (please help them) but not me! The most recent idea I had is to talk about getting the opportunity to share with people something that means something to me rather than a subject that isn't important and then end up saying that if you are lucky enough to receive an opportunity to share with people a piece of yourself don't be scared to do it but happy to recieve the chance to do it. However, I don't want it to be a 'don't have regrets, live like today is your last day, take risks' type speech. Essentially I am giving advice to a group of my peers so I obviously don't have a lot more life experience than them... so I'm trying to avoid a lecture. Thanks for writing back though, let me know if you have any ideas!!
from ericapaige38 :
I have a big favor to ask. In two weeks I have to give a speech in front of my entire school and a panel of judges for this scholarship pagent type thing and the topic is My advice to you would be... I'm playing with ideas, but I was just wondering...if you had the opportunity to give that speech in front of hundreds of people - what advice would you give?
from boombasticat :
Your essay about the girl at the party is just fantastic. Wham-bang-boom.
from rubybeg0nia :
OOOOH! I hate your g-book! Hate it hate it hate it! Now what I've been trying to say for several days is as follows: Who defines "remote?" I can think of plenty of authors who have characters that are perhaps remote; Atwood leaping to mind immediately. Her work is not boring. Sometimes you read a novel and your brain is screaming "But I want more!" but that's just too bad because that's all the writer wanted to give you. I tend to think that if YOU were happy with the characters, then they were probably the way they were meant to be. Tell them they aren't remote, they are ambiguous. I get frustrated with fiction-writing classes, can you tell? OK, I'm done now.
from maxdiamond :
writing fiction is so hard. i've been working on characters and scenes for a novel for about the last seven years and i'm just beginning to see through the characters, they're so much like me, the bullshit and hiding. i set out to not write the autobio novel you're supposed to get out of your system and after deadending, went back and realized i am these characters, especially the protagonist, and when i look at their relationships in that light, i understand a little better why they're on the page. i think. you might want to read (or reread) the beginning of "the writing life" by annie dillard. it probably wont help, but at least you'll know that what you're going through is real and has to be gone through. thanks for putting it out there.
from oh-sweet-pea :
did you recieve the zine yet? i'm just hoping it didn't get lost in the mail!
from caralynne :
my sentiments about school exactly.
from miralogue :
it wouldn't let me sign the g-book. hm. well anyway, i said that i send you tall glasses of ice water with bendy straws and tuck-ins and that i care if you're sick adn i hope you feel better. and i'm a selfcentered freak, too. good thing we like each other so much.
from oh-sweet-pea :
oh sweet lady, it's been such a busy couple of weeks that i forgot to tell you that, yes, of course, i'll trade with you. in fact, the zine went out in today's mail!!!
from in-my-life :
I'm so glad that you had the biopsy. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. Also, the wedding outfit sounds absolutely fab.
from dearedwin :
gah. i don't have your e-mail address anymore, cos i don't use that sweet_jane account any longer. mail me at blash_75@yahoo.com and then i can mail you back. sorry!
from rubybeg0nia :
Do women in Maine count? Its quite close to Canaduh you know. However I don't think they have any tips for beating the winter blahs as they are all infernally cranky. Bah!
from cherrrybomb :
Your guestbook just doesn't like me...well, shoot. You should be proud of yourself for even pursuing the program you are in. I didn't know what "workshopping" was, and without asking, a writer friend of mine just lit into the workshopping of a poem I'd written (he's all "trained" and shit...but not little 'ole me) I was glad I had tough skin that day-- that's a hard thing to endure. Oh-- and I'm getting ready to read "Wonder when you'll miss me" and thought of you. I've been meaning to tell you forever that Amanda keeps entering my life in strange ways: I remember you writing about her, I live in the N.C. mountains and heard all about her unfortunate death, completely stumbled upon an article about her in Real Simple mag. a while back, and now am being passed this book! She seems like such a special and unique person. xoxo
from soapboxdiner :
Guestbook - blech. I'll try again -- Welcome home, Shivery Babe! I just read about your needle biopsy and wanted to send you virtual love and reassurance. I'm sure your doctor told you how everything was going to go down with receiving you results, but I wondered if they wouldn't be able to give you them sooner? I don't know if the hospital where your's is being performed is anything remotely like mine but I wondered... 3-4 days? That seems a little on the long side. We usually have results in 1-2 days, either way. Might be worth looking into, if you're anxious for a yes/no. Good luck and voting it's a cyst.
from mrs-roboto :
Thank you for your thoughts. I think you're the cats pajamas too and would be honored to be a character in your book!
from eating-cake :
Hullo! I went to join the irene web ring (that's my name) & noticed that you like rufus wainright!!! I live is australia & no one has even heard of him, thankyou, ay least now I know i didn't just dream his beautiful music up in my head!
from ikss :
Well, I happen to think "I'm so tired I could cry" is a legitimate excuse. But then I feel that way often...I feel weird about wishing you hormonal changes, but here's hoping that's what you're going thru right now!
from icing-sugar :
when you find them, could you please draw me a map. I'd like a word or two with my own.
from dearedwin :
holy godthanks for the gi1more girls reminder! i would've missed it. phew.
from icing-sugar :
we DO need an alter ego machine, I'll get working on it so you can have a moment to relax! your need is pretty dire at the moment. but, we just might end up living Multiplicity and I think I could handle myself a 3, but if I got a 4 that would be the end of it. "she touched my pepe, steve"
from bibulous :
I'll miss Johnny Cash too. I think I admire him more now than I did growing up. His voice was so soulful and I must admit he gave a whole new meaning to Personal Jesus when he sang with that tired voice of his. You knew, he'd been through things, been there done that and moving on. He's a piece of Americana I'll sorely miss.
from beatpoetgrrl :
i promise i'm working on answering the questions posed last week. but i want to think about them first...hell, i may have to do a separate entry on each one! i just didn't want you to think that i was ignoring my assignment or anything. :)
from soapboxdiner :
Signmyguestbook is playing funny, darling. I left you loving and cheerful vibes proclaiming the virtue of ta ta cysties playing the ultimate Drama Queen act to get a little overdue recognition for all the hard work they perform for us. But it got ate. The gist of the missive, however, was a grand for Nebraska says once those boobie bumps end up saying, "Ha ha! Got your attention!" and then they go away. But most importantly - when, do you suppose, is the best time to get up to naughty Nebraska hijinx?
from icing-sugar :
good for you for being on the ball and getting in line first. so many times i fell quilty after the fact for something i went ahead and did or for something that i said, but no one is going to look out for you but you, so i say way to go, and let the rest of them learn a lesson.
from icing-sugar :
it just seemed to dawn such a blah monday, i hope you are still having a little bit of sun. the rainy season started here yesterday and i already miss the brightness as the marine layer seems to be hanging really low today. any-hoo, chattering on and on, i just wanted to tell you to have a good day and hopefully a good week.
from raw-voice :
dude, 85% of grad school is faking it. as long as you're working on your writing, you're cake.
from beatpoetgrrl :
ooo! oo, me! i want questions! i've been beating my brains out trying to write an entry about something more significant than my new haircut all weekend. i promise to answer! bpg
from icing-sugar :
I think it is so great that you are tackling the whole world! I am jealous of your bravery and willingness to sacrifice any scrap of spare time. I'm sending you some extra supportive thoughts so you don't feel quite so stressed out.
from dearedwin :
what is with the guestbooks, man? anyway, i still think you're wonder woman. and you give me great hope for school (which starts tuesday), because i do far, far less than you do in life, so if i can't hack it, i'm just an ass. you rule, my dear.
from blaiyze :
Kiss me.....and i will give you the shivers.
from nudeplatypus :
Spellbound was fabulous...or I was just impressed because I can't spell at all.
from icing-sugar :
i am so glad to hear that the kitty is alright. nothing is more terrifing than a middle of the night rush to the dr.'s office. i am glad the story has a happy ending.
from brucegirl :
I clicked on your cool catchy banner, and here I am. Nice diary. About the internet-game-sound: I would do something that permanently kept the sound off while the kid was away, and act innocent if he found out and asked about it ;-)
from dust-settle :
i could never resist a dashboard banner, great diary too.
from funda :
a few thousand records gives me the shivers.
from shadowdress :
Thank you for the note! I have coincidentally been reading through your diary off and on all morning! Myra-Lee spied me doing it and said "yay!" (she likes it when I like who she likes).
from thisisjohn :
hi my name is john. as you can see. i like cookies, spaghetti, and snakes. i have a car and a small apartment.
from icing-sugar :
i would, like the password, that is.
from icing-sugar :
i finished H.P. lastnight, it took me the better part of three days, only because i still had to be the mommy around here while i was reading. W. got it for his bedtime story, he wasn't too happy about that. (no pictures) it was good though, really really good, i would kill to write something like that, and J.K. has written 5 of them! it makes me so jealous of her talent.
from sunnflower :
Came in through your banner. Love the ferris wheel. That's a wild story about the cat. I don't know about soul mates but I think it is true that there are people that really click with us in life and there can be more than one.
from dearedwin :
your guestbook isn't working for me. you sound like you're in my mood. well i'll say that i loved your entry before last, as bittersweet as it must have been to write it. i almost know that i will feel that way when i'm married because i never forget. i guess you never do; you just move on.
from dearedwin :
sorry about the "small stuff." i know it's annoying, but i'm starting to think it's more normal than not to sweat it. people who don't sweat it and are all "power of now" about it kind of freak me out. this is m., by the way. i'm at the above address now. i got boredagain.
from tool-nin-fan :
hey, how did you get the pic on your profile?
from miralogue :
so, woo for clem snide. secondly, ima going to start fast food nation in a few days, after i finish sebold's lucky. i just wanted to say hi. i've been absent. and yuo're totally hip. but what kind of comment is that?! learned in college: people are dumb.
from ericapaige38 :
I feel your pain about this Monday. Found it to be quite a coincidence , however, because earlier today I changed my MSN nickname to "I really just need a diet coke" and when I read your comment "I need a diet coke" it really made me smile. Sometimes life just does that. And sometimes we all just need a diet coke. Much love :-)
from mrs-roboto :
I know. This is really very sad. I don't imagine Johnny is long for this world now.
from raw-voice :
yes yes yes - hearing about ms. june just about broke my heart! things won't ever be the same.
from miralogue :
i knew you were the smartest girl alive!!! love you!!!! and the new layout. but damn, darling. that's amazing. I hope you celebrate in style (and of course you would...)
from mrs-roboto :
looking really good! I love the layout.
from raw-voice :
here's my third attempt to say: congratulations! i know things feel complicated, but overall, things seem to be falling into place for you. keep busting your ass, shivery one, you are going places!
from mrs-roboto :
Just wanted to mention that we had book group last night and decided to read Amanda Davis' book for our next gathering. Thank you for writing about her. I wish you could be there. Mostly, I hope this brings you a little bit of comfort over your loss.
from amishgirl :
just wanted to say thanks for the words. after my appt this week, i can now say 9 mos and counting. sounds like you got a lot going on these days. good luck with everything!
from heartworks :
I just joined DiaryLand and was browsing through the directory. Read your last entry and could have swore I was reading a page from my own diary. Your thoughts sound very similar to mine (why can't I write, exercise - I also have depression) - so frieghteningly similar. Just thought I'd share.
from caralynne :
get well soon. and by soon i mean now.
from miralogue :
my work computer hates guestbooks. anyway. you should post the cds you're getting rid of totally...some dlanders might offer you some $ for them...like me...you'd probably get more than if you traded them at cd shops, no? at least around here you get crap for selling cds back unless they're REALLY good. like rare stuff. i've been offered 10 cents for good cds before. are you kidding me? i'm rambling cos i'm so happy you're back. talk soon, love.
from caralynne :
thank you. that was kinda what im looking for. i dont want to teach..i dont think ..but i dont just want to get a straight eng degree then not be able to get a job, so im exploring all leads possible. i know that ill probably just get an english degree and end up busking downtown toronto and serving expensive coffee to yuppies with good jobs and health insurance. ah well. i can accept that.
from caralynne :
youre in the u.s., right? i shall read grad or undergrad as university or college. im going for a univ degree, probably stick around ontario. im up in arms because every univ offers english except for a few complete french univs. ive been reading up on which univs have the best this and that and the other thing, but for english, they all say that you can go anywhere in canada basically. ive given up on making a decision on location for now and im wondering about narrowing down the major from just english to something else. ive looked into creative writing, technical writing, and journalism progams a little bit, but i figured that some first-hand knowledge would be best.
from caralynne :
im looking into some sort of english or arts major. i love creative writing, but im not sure about majoring in it. any suggestions/comments?
from heidiann :
Your guestbook hates me. I apologize if it ends up with three of the same message from me. But in case none of them go through... I get those same Google hits all the time and have yet to figure it out. People are weird. And a great big yay for tuition help!
from keryanna :
I see the knitting lessons as an investment. If you get good enough, you can save money by knitting your own bags, tshirts, sweatshirts, and underwear. Maybe not underwear. I don't think knitted underwear would be that comfortable. But maybe I'm thinking about crocheting and not knitting.
from heidiann :
I tried to leave birthday wishes in your book but guestbooks and I don't seem to get along. =) So...!!!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
from jennnnnn :
wow....i really enjoyed your diary, haven't read all the entries, but a couple was all i needed to get hooked. Great job.
from yourusername :
hefner r good.
from elateddream :
Love the diary.
from raven72d :
I feel so absolutely foolish that I didn't find you before!
from webothplay :
i still read your d-land! i just deleted my buddy list in a rather silly attempt to decrease the amount of time i spend reading diaries...too too much school work.... so now instead of just clicking on the red diaries on my list, i have to type in the urls....wonderful time saving measure. ha. sometimes i make so much sense it hurts...
from proudnerd :
Hey! You like Kundera and Lemony Snickett! Yay! :)
from echopunk :
yeah, so i am a DCFC stalker. Thats all I want to do every cold day, sit and listen to music on my headphones. Then I become invisible, you see? ~j
from myra-lee :
Thank you! Please - feel free to make your own! I am already beating myself up for leaving out meaningful stages/songs, but I guess that's because I had to limit myself to 20.
from echopunk :
hey! I've been gone, and sorely missed your diary in my absence. I see you got All Time Quarterback. How do you like it? I am recently very obsessed with death cab and Ben Gibbard. His voice applied to anything-aerosmith songs- and I would love them. okay. Have a nice night then. Bye. ~j
from torch :
Hello there, I have a couple of suggestions for the booklist you put up the other day. Angela Carter is fantastic when it comes to culture and identity and so on. "Nights at the Circus" (set in the 19th century but written in the 80s and big on twisting stereotypes around) is great and there's loads of scope for comparing it with the other books. "The Passion of New Eve" is also worth a look - it's a really strange novel part trashy sci-fi part crtique of extreme feminism, Hollywood cinema and 20th century culture in gender. I'm not sure how easy it would be to get hold of her books in the Us, but she's always worth reading as she was a brilliant and original thinker as well as a fantastic writer. Maybe you could look at really up-to-the-minute stuff as well e.g. White Teeth - Zadie Smith because she has loads to say. Hope this helps. Good luck with it, anyhow, xx Torch
from myra-lee :
Hello! Thanks for stopping by my diary. I really liked the visual of your friends "pogo-ing" around. That was great. I totally relate to the wanting to pick up, move, start over. And - it's funny - I always relocate ET and myself to Portland. Or Chapel Hill. Or Chicago. Actually, I have invented several alternate lives for us. Enough about me. You rock.
from thisisjohn :
OH okay i see. i play in a band and do solo stuff as well. music is my life. =)
from thisisjohn :
you sing in a band?
from pop-poppins :
Hi, The Banner pulled me in...the writing made me stay. And your excellent taste in music! Adding you to my favorites so I don't miss a thing! :)
from sisterdisco :
Could it be a banner ad person with actual good taste in music? Wowser!
from cherrytree :
saw your banner... appreciated the dashboard confessional reference... moved on.
from sood :
(sci-fi thing whereas Andrew had it programmed that you could not actually view your own banner) does he ever reply to your email, andrew i mean? cause i have yet to get a reply to anything....your layout is great :)
from mariastuart :
I just saw your banner and I clicked on it before I had seen that it was yours :) Nice!
from bella-amor :
You are a very cool girl. I'm adding you to my favourites if thats ok?
from castigada :
Gracias for answering (most of) my preguntas! I found your answers both entertaining and enlightening. I hope you enjoyed your chicken parmigiana.
from trulypoetic :
Janis Joplin? Nick Cave? I've seen him recently compared to Tom Petty who isn't dead....in the flesh form at least. Argh... I really don't have this answer so where is the ski lift? Point me in the right direction. Hopefully I can get sympathy from you with this little funny tidbit I found online "The Darling Clementines - An unmarked stretch of interstate highway just outside of St. Louis. The ghosts of Hank Williams and Paul Westerberg run into each other in the lounge of the Starlite Motel. Decide to share a bottle of Jack Daniels in the parking lot. "Lotta folks been takin' our names in vain," says Hank, passing the bottle. Paul cocks an eyebrow, finishes it off. "Yeah, well, fuck 'em," he says... The Darling Clementines are the soundtrack to the blessed backwash." Is that one unreal or what?
from echopunk :
And because I am a selfish ass, I forgot: How are you?
from echopunk :
That was my dilemma, I couldn't narrow it down. Let's go with: the sappy romantic tension and uncertainty of Say Anything; the fantastic soundtrack and dry humour of High Fidelity; and the weaponry of Grosse Pointe Blank. Maybe not so much the latter. But you get the point. Fingers crossed it doesn't become romantic crap like Serendipity, cause I so am not digging that. :) ~j
from trulypoetic :
Ok...lay it on me. I'm not fearful of tests. I know I'll fail...let's just get it over with...;-)
from nonce :
I liked Brenda at the start. All her crazy childhood messing with the psychiatrists stories were brilliant. Then she veered more and more away from something I can relate too. So now that I've been bitten once...I'm a little shy. If they turn this Rabbi into a flawed person...I'm gonna be soooo unimpressed. There was kinda a hint towards this in this last show...with her verbalizing the "you couldn't have me in your wildest dreams"...and then Nate gives a little smile Urk.
from nonce :
The Brenda storyline is getting utterly crazy. The first couple times she had "phantasies" it was fun. We both were blown away (we'd be sitting on the couch...and we'd look at each other and mouth "WTF?")...trying to figure out what the hell was going on. It was fun thinking she was a kook inside. I really liked all the suspension of reality bits to the show in the first season. But now "reality" is becoming "unreality".

It reminds me of The Kids of Degrassi (a staple in the diet of any canadian kid growing up when I did)....it was brilliant at first...but by the time they got to High School....all we could think was "I pity the poor kid that ends up going to that school...no one gets out alive over there".

I have a bunch of friends who auditioned for that show. And Joey Jerimiah once walked into the club I dj'ed at....we harassed him mercilessly on the mike. But then again...I did grow up with Tom Green in my scene.

uh...(tangent)...sixfeet? But then when she started acting on those phantasies....I couldn't relate to her at all. Thank god they have that Jewish Rabbi on the show...I can relate to her. Nate is a cutie.
from krownorazors :
I am guessing you have read the entry from my friend Kevin. I am not asking for a complete change in the world, just to be forgiven for being such an asshole. I can say that Kevin watches my back alot and I thank him for that, I mainly thank him that I am not already chilling in the morgue.
from krownorazors :
please dont all me a twit, I didn't do anything to you, and please don't have the mob mentality that you should join with your friends in an attack. I ask you please, stay out of this, it isn't your battle.
from migrainegirl :
A small gift....

Heeheehee!
from echopunk :
everytime I go to your notes page, migrainegirls password thing comes up. hmph. this confuses me, and makes my head hurt. Applause to you for recogizong Ben. He's all sorts of awesome. As are you, dahling, as are you. ~j
from echopunk :
wow. it's late, and all ive got in my bag of tricks is...uh..*shuffling*..."you rock". ~j
from nonce :
So....will I get to peruse this elusive "glamour" photo of you and Paul? I know I'm not part of the LWD&RS...
from in-my-life :
I'm here rummaging through your diary and wanted to say thank you for introducing me to Mirah. By the way, you are rock-star cool. I'm not kidding, you really are.
from mornglory :
Whoa, your new layout! Excellent! I miss D-land, I promise to come back and read you more. Dangit.
from inarticulate :
Oooh, by all means swing it on my end! I LOVE when people swing it on my end!! Uh oh, I'd better stop before I launch into an Austin Powers impersonation.
from inarticulate :
No, never went to a JournalCon or any kind of diary-related function. They have panel discussions and so forth, but I thought at the very least it might be fun to get a few of us locals together in a group if people were up for it. I probably wouldn't feel comfortable if everyone there were 20 years old, and I'm not sure I want to scrape up the fifty bucks, but maybe you and I could cover it and make our money back?
from nonce :
I've come to the realizationg that I don't leave enough notes for you...

I was cathing up on past posts....and I just wanted to communicate to you how much I like reading about your joy for music...and how sad I sometimes get when I hear about your relationship woes....it's strange to care about someone I've never met...but it makes me unhappy that you aren't covered in shivery sparkles when it comes to your relationship. If I had a magic wand...and a wish....I'd give them both to you...
from inarticulate :
I owe you a letter!! I'm so bad at writing letters, argh! I owe a million of them. I remember in the morning and forget at night. I still owe thank-you notes from the '70s. I'll try to get it done tomorrow. I started to say "I promise," but under the circumstances, it may only exacerbate the problem.
from loser8720 :
leave the kid alone, don't tell him to get self-control, or thinking before doing? i believe this site is for our opinions and our own thoughts, if the kid wants to be violent for an entry or so, by all means i believe he should be able to do so, hell, i do it from time to time, just cause i get a little pissed at the world, this place is a good place to rage and get away with it, beats me going out and breaking stuff like i used to, he channels his anger on here, that's good, i personnally don't wanna see him go crazy, so i'm going to defend him and say he has the right of free speech, and can say what he wants, as long as his violence just stays in his words, and nothing more comes of it
from krownorazors :
I would also like to apologize to you also, my actions were extreme and very violent in nature. Hopefully you can understand I saw the error in my ways, now I am left with the fact that I may have created enemies in a place where I thought I could be free with my opinions and emotions. I thank you for your constructive criticism.
from bellis :
Hm. I keep getting these visits from some locked site called lwdbc, but you're listed as one of their favorite diaries, and I was wondering if you knew who they were. Or what they werew. I dunno. It's no big deal, I just like to see when (and how!) I'm linked... just being nosy.
from inarticulate :
If you want to give me an assignment, I'll write it. I can write for an assignment but if I try to think up something on my own, I'm lost.
from kateso :
hi. thank you for your cheers onward! i'm totally crazy-busy right now and i hate it, but the encouragement helps. i'd comment on your entry but i'm at work and can't read it, dammit. i hate this piece of crap computer. soon i will have a new one and will function as a better human in cyberspace. if that's not too cliche a term. i can't believe i just said cyberspace. rrrr. annoying.
from itrymybest :
oh wow oh wow! i'm so excited that you like stella marrs! i'm familiar with nikki mcclure, but i've never gotten too close of a look at her work. (the real question is whether or not you've heard her sing "procreate" with calvin johnson on the selector dub narcotic comp . . . quite incredible.) i'm from olympia and the father of one of my friends in high school worked at the printer that did stella's stuff. my friend brought me postcards, and we thought they were great. i have them all over my room, and give them to folks all the time. yay!
from kateso :
wow. first thanks for the idea about the teen drug thing...i think issues like that are interesting too, so don't worry it wasn't overload...i hope i can pull something together... secondly, i think i have netscape 4.73 at work...the funny thing is that i was able to read it until the first message i sent you about a week ago that i couldn't. so it worked at one point?!? hmmm. dumb computers. this one is a piece of crap tho, and i'm getting a new one soon so don't drive yourself nuts over it ;) thanks thanks thanks....:)
from stellarose :
that was beautiful, about spring. and missing what it means, eh. thank you. i am having the same feelings--but for winter. we just had our second lush snow. and yet, it is doing the same to me. i want to be out, playing. *SR
from kateso :
yah. still just get the bust diaryring and new girl order. the only difference is that your little copyright doesn't come up...what the hell, man? just kidding. i'll read you from home, it's okay! and. thanks for the note yesterday. cheered me right up. :)
from kateso :
so this isn't that important but just so you know. your site won't come up on my work computer...i knwo you had problems with it before on the old netscape versions...i just get two diary rings that come up. and your little copyright. at home it works though, so i cans till read it when i get there. just thought you might be interested. and. hi!
from rock-dreams :
hi, nice diary. have a wonderful day. victor
from nonce :
The note you left me. So how exactly were you foiled by Sitemeter? Mischief must be shared...and especially with me!
from itrymybest :
i hear you on the work thing. i've been fussing over the same page (only one out of ten) for about, oh, two days. or just avoiding it by being on diaryland (like right now!). i keep trying to discipline myself, but to no avail. good luck.
from nonce :
From reading your diary I've discovered the concept of being "googled". Which I think is utterly delicious. I figure it will be a while before I've got enough of a pool of entries to be drawing google hits (unless I start using "boobie" and "cum-drinking" in my posts on a regular basis). But the idea of "googling" sparked an interesting thought in my mind. What about mischeivious googling? For instance, once you know that someone is looking out for google hits. All it takes is a little bit of thought and investigation to mess with those expectations...and create google hits that will confuse and amuse them. Kinda like little notes from your mom hidden in with your lunch...or a poke in the ribs from a friend...
from nonce :
Thanks for the guestbook comment. It's strange. Every now and then I toss stuff out and don't actually expect people to call me on it. But when they do...I realize that if a little feedback meant a difference to me...who have I been providing feedback to recently? Thanks for the Shakubuku
from itrymybest :
thanks so much, i appreciate it. things will get better; i'm not going to let it be like this forever.
from itrymybest :
oh no, no, he didn't steal it! he's on the other side of the country. plus, he's not an asshole of the radio station-robbing type. mostly i just take offense at the word "cocksucker," which is a bit too homophobic for my taste. i think i've corrected the ambiguity in that entry now . . . on a better note, isn't mates of state incredible? part of my v-day gift to the spouse is a tape with their complete discography; he's a huge fan too.
from inarticulate :
Yep, I can see it. No problems! I use Communicator 4.75 for the record. Also joined your Google list, natch.
from itrymybest :
hey, thanks so much for the kind words and the add to the favorites list; as always, i hope it wasn't out of pity (don't worry, i know the answer). i'm enjoying your stuff as well; i have the same IE problem as inarticulate, but i'll keep reading when i can . . .
from inarticulate :
Yes, dear heart, I am still here and still reading. But I have to load IE to read you, which is unfortunately something I don't always get around to doing. I think I/we should ask Alethea (frootjoos, rotaryscone) if she knows why it isn't showing up in Netscape. Okay?
from stellarose :
and ANOTHER thing: dig the new layout. thanks for the note. *SR
from stellarose :
and another thing? alkaseltzer = miracle drug. no lie, never had a hangover when i took it the night before (and the morning after). *SR
from stellarose :
girl--i really enjoyed your diary. just getting started on mine....working into the swing of things. rock on, punkstar. *SR
from inarticulate :
Yeah, but *where* should I sent my stuff? I can't figure it out. Was just looking at the East Bay Express. Was thinking about trying the Chronicle first, but I don't think they'd go for it since they have so many columnists already.
from tchotchke :
Of course I still read your diary! *s* I've just been kinda out of it lately...sorry!It feels like everything is in neutral right now, and in a few weeks when school starts again, it will all be moving too fast. BTW, I used to get people in my diary due to strange google searches too...but not so much lately. I must be forgetting to use interesting phrases...;)
from whatgoeson :
hahahah! now if *you're* the one who took the screen shot, well, THEN i'll dub you a huge geek! ;)
from thecity :
glad i'm one of your favorites, thanks.
from whatgoeson :
thank you muchly. i need it!

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