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messages to tiragem:
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from enigma1111 :
So your life is interesting, I imagine a girl like you with a well rounded education has heard of this Chinese curse? "May you live in interesting times!" Now, I'm not putting a curse on you...lol, its just small talk. I'm glad life is treating you OK.
from enigma1111 :
Great to hear from you. I took a long shot leaving a note here. Hope life has been good to you. I sure enjoyed reading your archives. Are you online anywhere else?
from enigma1111 :
comments: Unfortunately missing. You would have loved his diary - typos, grammatical errors and all. Hello, me bac on dairyland...lol hello tiragem. I have a new secret identity. Hope you look at your notes once in a while...
from reanimations :
i send you my hugs and happy thoughts.
from amb1valent-k :
Well said. Two more things about that pre-school teacher (if it's the same one I'm thinking of). She was working in a specifically Christian school - and when she lost her industrial tribunal case she was interviewed wearing the veil so that only eyes were visible but was quite clearly wearing mascara and eye shadow. Now what's the point of that?
from amb1valent-k :
May I come in, please? kevinbsam7@netscape.net
from sexyatheist :
luckily for me, i do. jizzdrop69ATyahoo.com. i think people do that to keep away spammers? i don't know. but drop an email my way please.
from chickpea981 :
my login and password doesn't work anymore. :( if I'm not shut out for good, chickpea981@gmail.com
from sexyatheist :
ah, so you're locked-up now too. i'll show you mine if you show me yours?
from amb1valent-k :
The hardest thing is to know yourself now. You can look forward to what you think you might become, you can look back (through the blo) to what you were and make judgements that might include decisions on why you chose to omit things you know happened. But it's nigh on impossible to be accurate or objective about your current self. You just ARE.
from liquid-mojo :
yeah do it, i know you will like it...
from liquid-mojo :
LOL, it's not as bad as it sounds. It's more like one tiny moment of pain (which actually makes the experience interesting and exhilerating) and maybe a few days of discomfort. Oh and I hope you aren't that talkative type because that's going to be uncomfortable too. ;) But seeing that piece of steel in your mouth, through your tongue and doing what most people would never dream of doing in thier lifetime is worth all of that. You aren't going to regret it...
from liquid-mojo :
tongue piercings are cool. Oh and good luck with yours. Be sure to have plenty of liquid food on hand like soups and juices etc as you won't be able to chew even the softest of things for a few days. you will also need lots of ice to keep the swelling down. Make sure they are in small enough pieces to fit in your mouth. ibuprofen also helps with the pain and swelling.
from italktowalls :
Heh. My friend is obsessed with that show too, and I'm always teasing her about it.
from reanimations :
and here i was contemplating on that show and whether it was worth it. clearly by your words, yes!
from reanimations :
i'm locking up again. tira/gem will get you in.
from amb1valent-k :
Yes. GO!
from sexyatheist :
you're right of course. there is no definitive answer and it is just a matter of perspective. pro-lifers do think of the child but they aren't thinking about the child's life once it's born. at least here in america, they are only concerned with keeping the parasite alive. after that, they could care less what happens to it. sad but true.
from sexyatheist :
young mothers. here is my problem. almost all of the things you mentioned were directly related to the mother and what she was dealing with. the morality of her culture and community, and her naivete about the whole thing. but i look at it from the perspective of the child who more likely than not will grow up in a less than ideal situation with a mother who isn't around because she has to support the child. in many of these cases the father isn't even a factor in the child's life which i think is unacceptable. children deserve 2 loving parents (gender is a nonissue for me as long as there is more than one) and choosing to keep a baby knowing the father (typically) won't be involved seems incredibly selfish to me. and in fact, it's usually compeletely selfish reasons that they keep the baby. i want something to love, my biological clock is ticking, i want to force this man to stay in my life, i don't want to be a murderer, etc. it just seems that the child itself is rarely taken into consideration. and i love long notes and hope you don't mind mine.
from amb1valent-k :
Finally got to read your marathon 9. Wow! You are SUCH a good wrietr. Accountancy is a waste for you my dear.
from reanimations :
oh! no internet for a few weeks due to moving and i come back to a little tiragem booklet complete with illustration! what brought this on? or is it answered? damn, no connection until sunday. i'll have to wait to read until then! that's like what, a whole year for you ;-)
from amb1valent-k :
scary nostrils or what?!!
from sexyatheist :
well i noticed. and you are lovely, just as i suspected from the few photos we've been allowed to see.
from reanimations :
far, far too many to keep track of. i prefer thinking of it as shedding skin like a snake, reveal the new baby skin underneath. or something like that. boredom too!
from blab :
I didn't say that quote (the "Sex is not the answer" quote), Woody Allen did. Otherwise, thanks for mentioning me. Oh, and jeez that picture creeps me out...
from sensualistic :
This was about 3 years ago, and I think my entries were deleted. No wait. I think that was when I had strippedraw as a diary. Yes! That was it. This one was always the locked one, SR was the open one someone at my work found and printed off everything. And at that time, I was one angry bitch and said a lot of nasty (necessary to purge from my daily) thoughts. It went really bad for a while. So it's always stuck in the back of my mind that it could potentially happen again, and when I lock up I just write whatever I feel like, so the possibility of someone I know discovering always makes me paranoid. But on the other hand, I will never get the random reader that passes on an opinion or two and gives me a chance to check out a new diary.
from sexyatheist :
according to snopes.com, the idea that we use only 10% of our brains is a myth and we do actually use our whole brain. but i understand what you mean. while it may be fun to dispute christianity because it's the dominant religion, it never seemed all that relevent to me as an atheist. far more interesting are the philosophical arguments for and against god. as an atheist i just believe there is no god. what god is not useful to me so what do i care about the specifics?
from sensualistic :
'an' entry is a serious understatement. it's been 3 years and i somehow seem to still be involved, distance keeps me moral. there are many undertones of entries, i've just kept them very basic and non-descriptive when i need to rant and rave about him. ms pea is about the only one who knows who i'm talking about when i do write the cryptive entries. it's a very strange and messy and confusing situation i seem very reluctant to leave behind. i'm sure she's read these notes after leaving one eventually, shaking her head at me with due reason!
from sensualistic :
no notes about being a homewrecker. i could say welcome to the club though. *sigh*
from italktowalls :
I'm studying for my last test of the semester, so I won't have my list up till Monday. Also, stay unlocked. I've missed your perversity...er "personality." Heh.
from chickpea981 :
Hold on... I don't even get points for my #6?? Also: HAHHAHA to #2 on your list. That is both disturbing and funny.
from chickpea981 :
personally, I find my love of Saved by the Bell highly disturbing. :P
from sensualistic :
i tagged you, check out my entry
from amb1valent-k :
A YEAR?
from chickpea981 :
congrats baby! I wish I had an ounce of your will power.
from sensualistic :
I got tired of mindless idiots. I honestly don't even notice it really, until I see from someone else that they're single. I think I'm just holding out for a good one. And yes, I realize it may actually take a while! But with working full-time and trying to achieve good grades in school f-t, I don't think I could really look for something worthwhile and I don't really want the empty fuck... so I'm kinda just here really. *and on a complete sidenote, i'm so retarded i posted this to myself right after reading your note b/c i'm always thinking of my reply and not paying attention to where i'm posting it!
from liquid-mojo :
I only wish I were joking, but yeah I'm working on breaking the dry spell, hopefully rather soon. Thank you for your condolences by the way.
from liquid-mojo :
you should let it go on for 3 years, then you can be like me. on second thought, scratch that and just go for it. life is too short to not be having sex. ;)
from sensualistic :
I just passed 8 months. Now I feel a little better :)
from chickpea981 :
I'd say you get the key to the city for that one.
from sexyatheist :
i appreciate the locked up thing. but i would appreciate a password much more. send one my way if you are so inclined: prettyatheist@yahoo.com.
from chickpea981 :
I emailed you for a password but I think it went to junkmail? Can I come in? chickpea981@yahoo.com
from amb1valent-k :
Hmm - lesson to us all. Do you actually know who he is? Is it someone you have to meet ever?
from amb1valent-k :
Oh dear - can I stay with you? Please? kevinbsam7@netscape.net
from odb :
I'd notice if you died. I'd even pour out a little liquor. Not sure if this helps your T&T thoughts and an outsiders perspective of it being "just another nation..." - I had never even heard of such a country until you messaged me (how you found me, you poor soul, I'll never know). Of course, now that MTV and the Gauntlet are there, millions are very much aware of Trinidad.
from sensualistic :
The 'God' that almost every person on the planet believes in (or at least North America) wasn't even the first god to begin with. I can't say I know my history but I do know some. And that's what's always bothered me about it. The Romans fine tuned their God into what most primarily believed in. And those that decided to remain polytheistic (am I using that right?) were forced to go with the one. And it's been funnelled, distorted, word of mouthed into so many different cultures and beliefs, how the hell can you even define 'God' anymore? It's just absurd to me. And yet having these notes conversations makes me realize that even my beliefs and theories are simply another adaptation. Maybe once I get into my social study requirements I'll pick up a religious class just for fun! I'll be the one in the back of the class constantly disputing everything and asking for proof. That may actually be worthwhile ;-)
from sensualistic :
no worries on the tangents, my mind goes in every direction at once on a fairly frequent basis. as for the paranoia? i can't say i'm worried about it, i mean on the grand scale of heaven&hell i'm not a total psychopath, i'm simply surviving. maybe it was the way i was raised to make me wonder why a god would do this to people? i think i do rely upon the factual. it's so hard to determine if something is real or not. oddly enough i do believe in the paranormal, but not in the sense of spirits and souls tormenting the earth. i think more in terms of the energy left behind when someone dies. i had a religious conversation with a few people at my work a few weeks ago.. and i think in the time we're at now so many people have different forms and levels of religion, it's almost like some pick and choose what to believe in. i suppose i'm doing the same, manipulating it to suit what i think. i think once i reached the stage of just saying 'i don't know' rather than believing because i was told to believe, my mind settled into the thought that i would just leave it alone, believe what i wanted and upon death i really would get my answer. i'm not comfortable in believing in something that may only exist in humanities stories that have been passed down for years. for me it's easier knowing humans are the evil ones that are driving their destiny/forces into the ground rather than a divine being watching over us allowing to do exactly what we're doing. i just can't conceive that 'he' would make so much evil, or rather the satan within us would do so. the beginning of the world was surrounded in doubt and mystery and i think for all of our civilizational leaps, we're still in the dark with all of this. and i have 5 minutes to get ready for work so i better jet! :D
from shadow-box :
"If going to church makes you a Christian, I'll stand in my garage and become a Cadillac." -I have no idea who said this... "My god has a bigger dick than your god." - George Carlin
from amb1valent-k :
Just the book I mentioned. I'll send you an Amazon link if you'd rather get it yourself.
from amb1valent-k :
What's wrong with the 'yet'? Eventually we'll understand (but then I guess there'll not be much left to live for you) Oh and thanks for the vomit story - just brilliant! If I sent your Christmas (yeah I know it won't make it now) gift care of your employer (guessing at what your real name is) would that be OK - or d'you want to mail me an alternative?
from sixelasauce :
I would pay $$ for a nude by you. I just took a trip through your photos..and I must say that I am...well honestly moved. Let me know what you need to to pay you and it will be all good...sooo much love to you, as I sit here in awe.
from sensualistic :
Being the nosy bastard I am after reading the notes of A-K's & ODB's, as well as your replies (oh yes, I'm that nosy) I feel compelled to add in my own worthless thoughts. I'd have to say I probably stopped believing in God when I started to say, well prove He exists. When I started questioning those around me and I couldn't find the satisfactory answers I started asking myself why my supposed 'elders' told me to believe in something they couldn't even provide relevant answers to. I try to keep an open mind about most things, I know for the most part I succeed but I'm still prone to failure. I won't go so far as to actually read the Bible but I still try to keep myself open to something new. The more I learn about religion the more I just do not like it. I'm just not satisfied with the 2000 year old story that God and Jesus exist. The answers provided in archeological and theoligian fields just don't add up together. How can you have a religion and call it truth when there is proof of error? As for the comments of it being background (and not necessarily your religious beliefs...) I'm a child of divorce, am further divorced myself. Was that because my Mom left her husband and in turn I ended up doing the same? Or was it my own personal choice to change the bad in my life? I was abused as a child but I've never backed down to anyone and I've never been in a relationship that was abusive. 'Statistically' speaking shouldn't I have been? I agree when you say it's about a million and one different things all happening at once to make a person who they are. To me, I can't justify a 'God' being at the forefront of all those minute details. I'm starting to write novels in your notes here... :)
from odb :
Think of us as 2 points on a circle, each of us on opposite sides of the axis. So close, yet so far. I'm such a dork...
from chickpea981 :
My answers to your questions... 1.) 18, 2.) It only counts if it was good, otherwise what happens on vacation stays on vacation 3.) yes. make him do it first and then pretend you're too tired, say "thanks babe" and roll over and go to sleep. 4.) count as what?
from odb :
Oh but I can, and I will. Watch. Did you see? I just shrugged and said "it's something deep down." I was not offended as a right wing conservative theist by your background. It's more of a personal guideline I go by, whereby I tend not to look at pictures of bloody mouths, with needles poking through the tounge. But that's just me.
from odb :
Not a fan of the background, but always glad to read. Interesting topics. I'm in the minority of your loyalists, as in not an atheist. I think you should have thrown an entry on pre-destination to muddy the waters just a little more. The free-will thing, I think it's kind of a cop out to say a person is made by their circumstances. While a person can be influenced by their dad beating them or whatever, why is it that some turn out normal - others do not. At some point it becomes a matter of how one responds. Or I'm wrong and a fool and will return in a future life as cow. Moo.
from amb1valent-k :
I want money - Beatles or Flying Lizards
from amb1valent-k :
And in turn I'll echo the one below - it's the intelligence that brings me back. You're dealing with concepts that the top philosophers have put their minds to and doing as good a job (not meaning to be patronising at all!). You'll find your questions are there in Kierkegaard. I didn' mean to deconstuct or point out flaws, just spur you on to apply your thesis to the atheistic position. Our answer on all religios debate will always be 'doesn't apply to me, to me the world works without god, I just know I don't understand why...yet'
from sensualistic :
My comments were mostly said by the gentleman below. You said to catch a flaw and stupid me is sitting here like a good pupil reading the essay.. but the only thing I see is that you based your entire thing upon the believing of God. You did however inspire a few thoughts of my own religious thoughts.. I 'choose' not to believe in God. Or rather, the Christian/Catholic version. Through personal observation mainly but I've taken western civilization and all it did was solidify my 'choice' not to believe in God. The free will thing is a thought, if he does really exist then am I just being given the choice not to believe? I've thought a lot about my beliefs over the years. I've bounced from being told to believe, to believing in possibilities and finally to just not believing anymore, in thinking that it's more a faith for those that want(have) to know there is something beyond this existence. Why are we here? What happens upon death? How are we ever going to know? We just aren't. The only thing we can really count on knowing is that human life is slowly killing the planet they inhabit as well as all other species. Why would God let his 'children' do this? Because he probably has about ten million other planets going for his entertainment? I don't know. My mind is very scientific, facts only and don't forget the proof. You've an amazing mind that actually spurs thoughts rather than sitting here zoning out to what you had for breakfast this morning. THANK YOU!!! :D
from amb1valent-k :
Isn't your logic predicated on the presupposition that god exists? I see your point that free will seems to be ruled out in a belief that nature and nurture must have been predetermined by god, but take god out of the equation: nature and nurture are not then definites, they're random accidents and everyone has to make what they can of their evolving circumstances. On that basis god is neither proved nor disporoved. You've discovered another flaw in the logic of belief, but belief isn't based on logic. It's a matter of 'faith', which is really another way of saying 'instinct'. If you haven't,- I think you should read 'Sophie's World', an excellent exploration of these philosophical ideas in a novel form.
from sixelasauce :
hi tiragem..first of all, the pic makes me...um, cringe..but I like it. Cringing is kind of fun, like a rollercoaster! Second of all I used to be sixelacooper..but that was lame...I still want some of your art...not in a creepy way. hope you are ok...I am still catching up on you. much love
from sensualistic :
fuck what i just said, i didn't look at this new layout! holy crap! leave it!
from sensualistic :
i'm lost, what do you feel bad about? the layout is good! did i miss something?
from amb1valent-k :
I am no-one?
from amb1valent-k :
Ah! it links to a secret?
from amb1valent-k :
Great - I quite liked the one in between too! (The Notes link doesn't work yet though, did you know that?)
from sensualistic :
very nice!
from chickpea981 :
I never have anything witty or insightful to add in these notes in reference to your posts so I'll just state again, for the record, that I love reading you and sometimes I like to miss an entry or two so I can read a whole bunch of you at once. Also, I think that previous one is the longest sentence I have ever typed out in a note.
from sensualistic :
ah-hahahaha! transgender mia... well let me see if i can't find that conversation as well!
from sensualistic :
and you certainly didn't need a camera, your words are enough! karma indeed.
from sensualistic :
there's an amusing sidenote in one of chickpea's and my typical saturday night rambling session about you if you want me to email it to you.
from amb1valent-k :
But T... You TOLD me your name!
from italktowalls :
I say you break one of his legs. Teach the boy a lesson, y'know?
from sensualistic :
Absorbing your entire entry I realize I haven't watched Empire Records in forever. Very good movie. And I am sorry to hear about the money woes, I can relate and it's a bitch to have to go after someone. Good luck and I hope you get it all back before you either shoot him or pull your hair out.
from italktowalls :
I'm shocked that I pushed you to such lengths. Shocked and appalled.
from odb :
$40 a crack huh? - Meh - Nevermind, I don't like it that much. I'll just take a Sharpie marker and some stencils and do it myself. I'll contribute $40 only if it goes towards a bullet proof vest.
from odb :
socially singular, I love it. When you start printing that on t-shirts, make sure you send one to me as well. It becomes more and more scary how similar I think we might be.
from amb1valent-k :
Life's OK as long as it goes on being Friday, or Christmas Eve. You don't need to concern yourself too much until the time you find its Monday, or Boxing Day and you realise you missed the fun. Just refuse to recognise the weekend, or Christmas has arrived.
from sensualistic :
One of my closest friends here (actually, one of my only) was born in T&T and has a lot of family there. I honestly didn't realize it was like that. Sorry to hear it was an inspiration to write :(
from amb1valent-k :
Jings! Almost sorry I asked!
from amb1valent-k :
And still happy?
from sensualistic :
Where you be!!!
from amb1valent-k :
You OK, T?
from sensualistic :
amazing! yay to you.
from italktowalls :
It's gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. You should be immensely proud of yourself.
from odb :
Given up on me? I'm saddened. I'm too stubborn to forfeit. I'll have no legs to stand on, but keep on kicking, before I quit. Except sometimes when I just get lazy, roll over, and play dead. Just been uber busy with work, golf, hockey, softball, and that's pretty much it. Your day is coming sweetheart. Until then, tata - have a fun weekend.
from odb :
Hello. Just wanted to say hey, still alive and reading. I got my email to you started last week, but chapters 2 & 3 I have yet to write. :) Be well. Embrace the power of glasses.
from sensualistic :
first time my vision actually came clear through a pair of lenses i freaked out at the sensation of the ground coming up to smack me right in the face. and the trees!! don't ask about the trees! but pretty soon you won't be able to live without em.
from amb1valent-k :
Ah right - at long last I can do links that work! Thanks.
from odb :
You are fun, I like you. No worries on the long note - I'll digest it and impose my swift justice this weekend. I'll be down to drag your lazy butt off the beach, explain everything, and promptly go back to the beach to take in some sunshine and partake in aforementioned laziness.
from amb1valent-k :
not evil - right.
from odb :
You have your George, America has ours. I'll take care of my vote - no worries. Quite honestly, I'm not concerned about what anyone thinks of my voting choices. I'm not seeking approval. Steel toed violence... That doesn't sound like a pro-Kerry, tree hugger response.
from amb1valent-k :
So - all that praying worked! God did save you from the storm and delivered you into the presence of the Rabbit! Life really is worth living sometimes eh?
from odb :
Still here, just unmotivated lately. Glasse are an accessory. Girls who wear glasses, bonus. Keep the writing coming.
from amb1valent-k :
I take your point - but without communication of that objective it does feel lke senseless disruption from our perspective. But as I wrote, these people are on a completley different plane and their way of thinking is as alien to ours as it can be. It's almost like trying to comprehend and communicate with ants (an analogy not intended to demean - as these are life forms with sophisticated social structures but alien to us). But I know it cuts both ways; we do bring such a response on us when we think we 'know better' and attempt to impose "democracy" as though our way of life is the only one that's valid.
from amb1valent-k :
Somehow your enigmatic smile reminds me of the Mona Lisa.
from sensualistic :
hey! i wear glasses and they're damn sexy! ask ms pea. she saw them in person. and to tell you the truth, i've been given more compliments on this pair than any other since highschool. in answer to the expense, they're overpriced just because of how they look. you know, just like everything else in this world :)
from amb1valent-k :
"all those boobs"? How many you got girl?
from italktowalls :
You also have to wonder if the media coverage would be this extensive had the missing person been an average-looking American minority, rather than a fairly attractive white girl. I doubt we'd be hearing about it this much, if at all.
from amb1valent-k :
United States of Xenophobia!
from italktowalls :
Happy 2-year Anniversary! And here's to (hopefully) 2 more.
from odb :
Dating is a competition, dear. At least I would argue it is. Not that I am a viable competitor, but I think the fact still remains. My dreams with guns are weird. I don't own one, but want to, the dreams are making me think - not such a good idea... Maybe I should join a militia?
from sensualistic :
I have to laugh, am still laughing because I'm an evil older sister too. I miss doing stupid stuff like that. Now he's bigger than me and can beat me up. But damn I get him sometimes and it's like the old days! That's just too funny.
from amb1valent-k :
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
from sensualistic :
ok so I should've ended that last note with 'spend 6 yrs with one person and it went horribly WRONG!!!'. Well thought out entry of the last I'd have to say. After a while, sex just gets boring (reading about it of course :)
from amb1valent-k :
I've been meaning to ask - ever hear from The Healer these days?
from sensualistic :
Imagine being the age you are and spending the next 6 years with only one person. That's where I went wrong and I'm sure if I hadn't my score would be higher. And now I'm just in a take it or leave it mood. Or year?
from amb1valent-k :
Briliant! I just love you.
from italktowalls :
A well deserved congrats on making it to your 200th entry. And your painting is quite the fantastic gem. No surprise there.
from sensualistic :
You're very good. I envy those with artistic abilities, painting, drawing, hell I can't get beyond stick figures. Make sure you get pics when it's done!
from chickpea981 :
I like "dejected" the best. Also, finally caught up on a few entries and this stuck out to me: "Amb1valent-k asked me if I knew that the sex is what Flez likes from me. Yes, I do know this. The real question is: Is that the only thing he likes from me? And the even more substantial question: If I knew sex is all he wants from me, would I be still willing to give it to him?" Replace Flez with Kickboxer and you've got me asking the same questions. *sigh* Lovely painting by the way.
from italktowalls :
I shall be awaitin' your paintin'. Oh my God, did that rhyme? Heh.
from amb1valent-k :
Still my favourite read! So you kept all this Flez stuff from us? You do know it's the sex that he likes about you, don't you? A boy likes a girl on the same sexual plane as him, and you two clearly are. (Oh and thanks for the oblique reference!)
from odb :
Ha, redneck, you are something else. But I think most of us are, to a certain degree. I bet a lot of people are in denial and can't admit it to themselves.. Just as you mentioned needs for psychiatric evaluation, I think we are all crazy - some just hide it better than others.
from amb1valent-k :
Feels like we'll only 'prove' ourselves stupid if we continue this debate, eh? :-P
from sexyatheist :
liking or not liking something has nothing to do with IQ. i agree. but being unable to argue rationally what your point is, is stupid. if there is something i believe that has no rational basis (why i love michael jackson for example) i just admit off the bat that it's an unfounded belief and don't even attempt to argue it. because i'm smart. stupid people are the ones that irrationally argue something to death.
from amb1valent-k :
I agree - certainty about something you shouldn't really be sure about is a foolish stance to take but its where I am on that one (makes me comprehend believers a bit better though). Men horny - well duh! and I'm not sure what you're saying about 1943 cunts there. It still is a pretty offensive word over here.
from odb :
No question is an annoying one, I'm a spry 27 years old. I had 2 more really busy dreams last night and this afternoon when I took a nap, but forgot them both! Sounds like you have some interesting things happening. The breast story was funny, we are quite the contrast when it comes to meeting the opposite sex, I need to hang out with you and learn, so I'm not such a wuss. HA! Have a great day. DB
from amb1valent-k :
No - sorry, I'm a devout atheist. Never question the faith. I still love the way you write about P o S - so glad I went there to see for myself, and am able to remember the places and sights you write about
from odb :
Show me some love, it's one impressive resume! The way I was hired is very rare, the guy waived my drug test, background check, everything. I'm sure GM would be upset if they found out... I'm willing to bet GM will be a LOT like FoMoCo, it will be fun to compare the 2 once I figure things out. Stay tuned for more dreams, they usually come in spurts. Have a good weekend friend.
from sensualistic :
Yes, do write the cruel moron off. I'm sure you can do better than idiocy.
from odb :
<p>Thanks for the note friend - and an extra special thanks on the good luck wishes on the job front. I'd be so releaved!</p> <p>Brains and brawn? I dunno, now you may be using your imagination a little too creatively in this cyber land! But I'll take compliments like that anytime.</p> <p>And by the way, I shed a tear reading about your school stories. It's not that I'm a show off ... they're all just stupid. That's pricelss!</p>
from amb1valent-k :
I'm lokoking ahead. You know you're good enogh to be a partner in your firm eventuallly, right? But it's going to be a difficult road for you - just because you're female. And (I really hate to say this) you're black, and yours is a global firm.
from sexyatheist :
i've always thought it a waste when brilliant people such as yourself didn't go to school. so i'm glad you're going back. (p.s. you know your guestbook isn't working properly right?)
from chickpea981 :
now you understand why sensualistic and I have such a fierce bond.
from sensualistic :
Those last lines I can relate to. Nothing is wrong yet it all is.
from sixelacooper :
I would buy anything that you made...you can email me a pic if you want too, but I will just trust you really...let me know when you get time. :)
from sixelacooper :
I was wondering how much $ it would cost for a peice of your art work??? I love art and I know that haveing something you did would be great...please let me know ok?
from sensualistic :
Damn, I finally caught up on my reading. Thanks for the quotes!
from sensualistic :
It's why I ended up posting the email rather than sending it. I realized there were way too many that have gone through something similar, myself included. In a way it was self-directed as well as others understanding exactly what was meant.
from amb1valent-k :
...and I sense you don't like admitting to yourself that you miss people..? (some men find such defiance very attractive, believe me!). Love - yes you're right - there's always a central kernel. Always. And Flez? Not a statement - just an opinion based solely on what you have said yourself.
from amb1valent-k :
Jings you were in a pissy mood weren't you? Love isn't a static like-this-forever thing. It's a fluid emotion that can easily transmogrify. But actually I reckon Flez is just a horny (normal)young man
from sensualistic :
It's just been on my mind a lot. The ex (the source of all that anger) did a lot of things with my name attached, it's the biggest reason why I can't move forward with school and such.
from chickpea981 :
my head is spinning from all that
from sensualistic :
Well I've toned down on the anger a lot. I think angry people make exciting diaries. So now I've just gone boring and daily. Ho hum
from sensualistic :
me silly.
from sensualistic :
'strippedraw: Another journalist gone missing.' not missing, just relocated :) thanks for adding
from adulterous-k :
enjoying audit?
from adulterous-k :
Really, really enjoyed your pieces on Brian Lara Parade having been there less than a year back. I guess I was that white tourist!
from sexyatheist :
it was 11 times in 4 days. 5 during 3 hours of one evening. we don't have sex for long periods of time, but we do it a whole bunch. and to be honest, that's how i like it. i get bored and/or sore if a session lasts too long. as for the horrible event...and though some other people might read this note although i doubt it...i got braces. again. i'm getting over it but when i wrote that entry, it had only been like 5 hours and i was quite mortified.
from liquid-mojo :
Yup, that's right, I'll be needing it, lots and lots of it and after I'm done I'll need plenty more. Wait, what were we talking about again?
from liquid-mojo :
If you need some tech geek to work on your box then I'm excactly the kind of guy you are missing out on. ;)
from liquid-mojo :
Hey girl, sorry to hear about the break up and all. Not to sound cliche but there are probably better guys out there for you.
from adulterous-k :
Woohoo! Tiragem's back! Here's one Brit always pleased to read you, however sporadically you write. Happy New Year to you.
from italktowalls :
My vote was decided long ago: anyone other than Bush. So I went the Kerry route. But look how that turned out. =o)
from sexyatheist :
well it's good to know you guys see our plight and appreciate the hell we exist in. and i don't get it either. i think us normal people were vocal and all those born again c-tards came out of the woodwork for the election. and i'm glad my entry made you laugh. jesusland just makes me want to cry. god most of my country is so stupid
from liquid-mojo :
Sex? what is that? a new dance? ;) Umm yeah it's been a while but hey I'm working at it. I hope your sex life is fairing better though...
from vanoonoo :
hey :)
from adulterous-k :
Funny how 'God' always handed down his rules in some far distant past when they might have been approporiate. If onl he would update his thinking from time to time eh? Nipples better yet? (that made me laugh!)
from sexyatheist :
it doesn't have to be that way though. although they seem to contradict each other, logic and emotion can work very well together.
from sexyatheist :
"but we are only aware of such things when they manifest themselves... not true?" i can't say i agree with you there my dear. especially after you ackowledge that it's quite possibly coming. you are absolutely aware of it. you are just hoping it never comes. i'm sorry this happened. but as i've told you before, i trust your judgement so i won't tell you to leave him. even in the little i know about you, i've come to know you as an incredibly intelligent person. i just really hope this is the last time.
from sexyatheist :
damn that comment about chris reeve you made is fucking hilarious. i still remember laughing my ass off the first time i read it. and i still laugh. you are just too amazing. i'm sorry to hear you won't be going to college anytime soon. that big brain of yours really should be stretched. but i understand the money issue. although you could take out loans and not have to work while in school. just a thought. but congrats on your new job. a working girl. very sexy.
from adulterous-k :
Remember I told you on the phone - you're too bright for auditing? That's 'bright' as in 'vivacious'. But jings! what am I doing? trying to prejudice you? You'll make your own way fine.
from adulterous-k :
Well done - you got in! You and me - work in tax, better at words. x
from sexyatheist :
hey woman, what's going on with college? i read about you applying but can't remember if you've said where you got in or where you are going.
from adulterous-k :
Always weighting on you!
from pirate-life :
if you want the info for entering my diary, email me at dobyliveson@yahoo.com.
from cherry-d :
*I* drink real tea every morning, you bitch. And this Flez shit is upsetting. Fuck it. It needs to be over. Like, now. That is all.
from adulterous-k :
Well done girl!! I work with PWC a lot - you know they have a policy of promoting overseas secondments? Maybe you'll have a chance to come over here in a couple of years.
from chickpea981 :
knew you'd make the right decision with him. Bliss is a wonderful thing and I'm glad you're feeling it.
from curioussara :
Congratulations on the A-levels. I never doubted that you would get anything other than that. You are the most intelligent 18 yr old I have ever been in contact with. Now what? Where will you go to University? And please don't waste your life with Flez. You have so much more potential than that.
from liquid-mojo :
Hey there. It's been a hell of a long time, but I'm glad you are back reading and making entries.
from adulterous-k :
Thanks for the note - and thanks for reading a little. Not entirely sure what you meant but it sounded judgemental - so it's in tune with my mood at least!
from chickpea981 :
I made it so that you can change the window size to fucs around just the text. IE safer for work viewing. However, still not safe for reading. ;) So good to have you back.
from sexyatheist :
i don't think you're an idiot. and i can't say listening to your heart is wrong. i of course much prefer logic but i have occasionally given in to that non-cursing organ although i will rarely admit it. i worry about him hurting you again but you obviously worry about that too. and in terms of giving this your all, that's really your call. i don't think it's wrong to go into this just partially, at least for awhile. but to be honest, i don't think you'll ever be able to get that stain of distrust off. even if you can look past it, it will always be there. in the end, you're still a brilliant woman and you know what's best for you.
from pyroacebitch :
Thanks for reading! I love your diary it's very interesting.
from adulterous-k :
No - I didn't get anything! I changed to kevinbsam7@netscape.net a little while ago though. If that doesn't work I'll sen you an alternative address privately...
from dutchwink :
heh heh... jackarse. I've never seen it spelt like that before. You go girl!
from chickpea981 :
See no matter how long your entries are, I hang on every damn word. You're so damn intoxicating. Most people I skim, but you? No I sit there and grab a cup of coffee if I need to. love ya baby! Glad to have you back. xoxoxo
from lostmotion :
Glad you got your muse back, and I'll be here for it from the rebeginning to whenever! (Since I wasn't here the very beginning.)
from chickpea981 :
it's about fucking time! but hey, everyone goes through spells of not wanting to write. I just hope your beautiful mind will be poured out into diary form more often so I can eat it up!
from curioussara :
what joy to see your anme in red on my buddy list! I have missed your absolutley brilliant writing.
from adulterous-k :
Brilliant! Just so great to have you back! And I can even picture where the taxi stand is!
from amsterdamnit :
A return! About fucking time! I think you should send us some flowers or something for being patient and still waiting and reading. :-)
from sexyatheist :
god i've missed you. and i've known how much i missed you but it really hit me today, reading your entry that was funny as hell yet didn't tell me anything! i need a real update soon woman. we really have missed so much
from adulterous-k :
Any chance of you returning? Exams should be over by now, no?
from odb :
tiragem, Sorry I wasn't replying, I didn't even realize anyone was reading / posting notes of late. Thanks for the kind words, and the pep talk to go for the girls. Mind is willing, but the flesh is weak. Fight the good fight.
from chickpea981 :
You're worth waiting for. Take your time doing what you need to do. The next month or two is not going to be easy for me either and I may need a hiatus myself. You go be you and get your shit together! The zeal will return as you reduce the stress load.
from chickpea981 :
Where you at Miss Thing? Certian people around here miss reading your musings. (hint hint)
from adulterous-k :
See you next week?
from fuckingdrunk :
The "witness stand" entry was most helpful. I will thus accredit your alias tiragem when "Nigger May" is finished. Yours was not the response I sought at first, but it proved to be of use to me. Thank you. The description of her masters first incident with May will likely be loosely based on yours with Mark. Mostly the lack of struggle was perfect. She struggles only as much as she feels is not dangerous. Whereas your motivations appeared different, they actually weren't as much as could be considered "normal". Deep down May wants it, and with her, there is also an inner struggle. Not her pussy versus her desire to be with another with clear conscience, but her pussy, and her conflictions concerning what she feels she should desire. And what did you do about Mark? Have you had any other sexual encounters with him since? And again, thank you Tiragem.
from adulterous-k :
hel! You're a damn fine story teller! Should be there for the test now!
from chickpea981 :
Oh you damn tease. You've got me wondering what problem number 2 is. As always you have me enthralled with your story-telling.
from juniperhexum :
okay that had me laughing my ass off. Maybe I'm just overtired and emotionally drained, but I was laughing right along with you!
from liquid-mojo :
Well really it was my fault, I should have studied for that exam... ;) Thanks though for the comment. :)
from blab :
Glad you're enjoying it, free porn is what the Internet was made for after all...
from adulterous-k :
hey there - good luck with the exams. Local knowledge needed again please: Crowne Plaza or Hotel Normandie? (think I may do the ODI's)
from chickpea981 :
It's okay, we still love you and your sporadic entries! Well I do anyway.
from amsterdamnit :
actually this is zeroneedles. :-D I'm locked my diary because some weirdo keeps reading it and IMing me and won't leave me alone. e-mail me and I'll send you a password and such.
from bi-girl-uk :
Hey, words of wisdom there! I agree wholeheartedly with them. Sad that we have to learn the hard way... maybe the d-land girls should team up and write a guidebook for this kinda thing... ? xx
from strippedraw :
check your mail, it's on the way :-) i have learned a hard lesson which coincides with the quote you've used in your profile.
from curioussara :
My diary is unlocked. spread the word
from chickpea981 :
You know, whenever I told someone that sex was just sex and emotions/feelings could be kept out of it, I got laughed at. Depending on the guy, the next day you can pretend that they never existed. I would have been just fine keeping it just friends with benefits with Cowboy, but he wanted it to be EXCLUSIVE and thats where the line gets fuzzy. (I think we made the right choice... I was ready for a boyfriend again.) There's a very small group of women on this Earth who have the ability to separate sex from emotion. Welcome to the elite. And you know what's funny? Lately I'm finding more and more men who can't separate the two.
from blindsided32 :
Hah, well it wasn't too bad at first, but when every person I was seeing was telling me, as if I didn't already know... it started to get on my nerves..
from raven72d :
Trinidad and Tobago... Know for...steel drum bands? I can find Port-au-Spain on a map, but the differences between Trinidad and Tobago elude me. Good flag, though. And your diary-- wickedly insightful, sexy, fun. I'll be reading you often. And-- do fill that trophy case.
from liquid-mojo :
Don't worry, I deleted the comments so she wouldn't catch it. Anyway yeah, I'm sure she'd love a visit from you. I see you are doing OK in the dating thing too. :)
from natasha5 :
uh, thanks. i don't really know what the hell is going on either.
from adulterous-k :
Happy hundred to you! And another cracking good read!...but you never said if he came..?
from strippedraw :
i think we should invent a prize or something for winning a fuck buddy. a trophy perhaps? have fun!
from xwiseassx :
You call me interesting? Girl, if you want interesting, re-read your own entries, they are awesome, truly.
from chickpea981 :
That's part of the problem with meeting guys from online. Half the time they are okay and you contemplate fucking and half the time you would rather gouge your eyes out with a fork than sit there and spend another minute listening to them speak. Tools. And hey, that entry disappeared because I have deletion issues. I go to edit things and end up deleting entries. I've done that several times with this diary. I named her, but changed my mind on the name, so she is still nameless.
from slutreviews :
That's exactly WHY I gave her the credit. No points darling, just some recognition. If you've got the guts to post pictures of your ugly self then more power to you. That, and I wanted to highlight that she's not all that, but didn't want to say "you're a funky little cow" in her review! I'm only partially evil.
from juniperhexum :
Definitely not worth a stroke. That family is just fucked up. So I made a decree that I must have one of my brothers with me because when one of them is there I can escape more freely and they deflect some of the bullshit. Once a year is more than plenty.
from liquid-mojo :
Damn, I went to ROTK opening weekend with my mom and sister an hour earlier so I could get good seats. A group in thier early-teens managed to be in line before us. Damn those kids! Still we got decent enough seats. I guess we learned our lesson with the Matrix Revolutions opening weekend where we had to sit in the front row and kinda lean back and look up at the screen. I swear I would have been more comfortable on the floor on my back looking up. Still, I "zenned" myself into believing it was in the super-huge IMAX format and managed to enjoy the movie anyhow. =p Still, it was pretty lame of that dude to show up late like that. I suggest need better quality online hookups. *cough*ME*cough* ;) As for resolutions, yes it can be a silly tradition especially if you make a bunch of promises to yourself you can't possibly hope to keep or have no solid intention or commitment to keeping them. If anything it's a good reminder to the people who have become complacent. Unfortunately not everyone is under the constant seeking of personal growth and self-improvement. Sometimes they need the that "New Year's wakeup call". I look at it as an occasion to intensify and focus my own efforts at improving myself. :)
from sexyatheist :
well, not that it was highly probable in the first place, but now there is no chance of us ever meeting. steal my boyfriend. bah. i will fight to the death! and i fight dirty, so watch out!
from gumphood :
That entry was very entertaining. So the dude is not over you. The worst part sounds like when he sings. Now I can understand if you dated for like 2 to 3 years still thinking about you, but this doesn't sound like that. Anyway, I hope that he ended up not being a problem at all. And as a question, how long do you this it takes to get over someone?
from liquid-mojo :
Yeah, Memento was laid out in reverse chronological order so the audience things the way the main character saw things. You were seeing things as if it were the first time with no knowledge of the past. If you noticed the black and white scenes were progressing forward in time to the point of the first killing and served as a sort of background for the main character explaining his pre-existing condition. The main story, in color, was progressing backwards from the point of the second killing. Whenever he saw his own tattoos it was like he was seeing it for the very first time because of his short-term amnesia, just likethe audience was seeing it for the very first time. I must say it was a brilliant movie. Watching it in chronological order simply solidifies the story, but for whomever is watching it the first time I reccommend it be viewed the way it was meant to be watched...
from gumphood :
Yes I apologize for that. It would seem that I was improperly leaving a note. I found you, and I wanted to talk to you about a few things, mostly because I find alot of what you say interesting. I read several of your entries, and despite being a guy, I am less interested in your sex than your religion. You see, you are smart enough to call yourself agnostic, which interests me mostly because I too am of that influence. Also you are intellegent which means your answers will be thought out and not frustrating. Lets compile this with your interesting nationality and throw in some sex and frankly we are talking about an interesting read. The point. I perhaps would like to email you with some questions, and I was wondering if that would be alright?
from pirate-life :
You know why I can't stand Coldplay? They just seem so goddamn cocky. I don't really like U2 either, but at least Bono is helping with AIDS, whereas the lead singer of Colplay is havng kids with Gwyneth Paltrow.
from sexyatheist :
yeah, he's a rare one he is. and i do appreciate it. but i like hearing about my hotness too, dammit! and i'm not so bad. my goal this vacation is to get pics on the computer. if you want, i can send you one.
from liquid-mojo :
I'll loan you my DVD. The commentary tracks are awesome. One of the few movies where I've listened to all of them. The Memento DVD is awesome as well. There's a secret code where you can play the movie in it's correct chronological order. =p
from gumphood :
Did you get t...hmmm...I don't know if this is right?
from blindsided32 :
Well thank you. I'm liking your diary as well. Daria is fucking god in my eyes. Haha.
from nypizzas2 :
Hey there. Thanks for the note! I appreciate it. (By the way, the atheist comment was meant as:one cliche seems to be all those people say they're atheists, not all atheists are like those people by any means-does that make sense?) I started to read your diary, started with the bio like I tend to do, and I had to stop because you are living the life I want to lead, and you haven't even graduated high school! My head was spinning with jealousy. ;) Congratulations on those AMAZING SAT II scores, by the way. If U Penn. doesn't accept you, they're a bunch of assholes. Alright, I think this note is long enough; adios kiddo.
from adulterous-k :
Thanks for the info. Apparently ther are different prices for locals from the English tourists. Actually I quite approve! Discourage the Barmy Army. After today's performance by England I'm not sure. You going?
from liquid-mojo :
Yeah, I was talking Vice City at first. Damn good game by the way. I kinda switched over to a Manhunt discussion in the middle somewhere. Yet another game I want to get. =p Anyway good luck in your hunt for your gaming fix and especially the dildo fix. You realize now that you have quoted Marla “Don’t worry. That’s not a threat to you.” I now have to ask you to marry me... ;)
from pirate-life :
Hey thanks for adding me to your list. I'm not that smart, but we try, eh.
from xwiseassx :
Sorry for the spelling errors. I usually type at work and am in a hurry. I also type with four fingers and a thumb so most of my errors are with a neighboring key. With a bit of detective work you should be able to understand me. Try to overcome the cringe factor...lol You still have a damn fine diary and should take up adulterousks' advice...
from pirate-life :
Thanks. I reallydon't take ANY offense whatsoever by you calling 14 year olds stupid. I'm with them all the time, so I know better that most.
from sexyatheist :
you know, i didn't know you were black. but that's because i never really thought about it. i just knew you were smart as hell.
from gnomad :
Thanks so much for the message my dear! I appreciated your feedback very much. Hope your week is treating you kindly!
from adulterous-k :
You really should get published somewhere! But then you'd probably come up against age-prejudice.. Local question - if I got over to Port of Spain in March would I be able to pick up tickets for the Test match on the day without being ripped off? Prices to buy them from the UK look ridiculous.
from chickpea981 :
*speechless*
from strippedraw :
damn! christopher pike and nancy drew ... what a flashback...
from liquid-mojo :
I think it's the taboo and the potential of self harm that adds to the appeal, for me at least. Still, having a chronic cough is a bit annoying so I suppose the habit must be curbed. =p
from arealrose :
Thank you! And your SAT II marks aren't bad...I'm terrified to take the actual SAT's, because I have a marvelous habit of falling asleep during standardized testing...whoops...
from adulterous-k :
...and the Irish say 'feck'. Vowels wander in the English-speaking world!
from gumphood :
Did you note me today. I think I got a hit from your site...I am just checking. How is it going?
from adulterous-k :
Have you thought about how it will be wen you come back after college in the States? I've no doubt you'll be mature and adult enough to handle the change (hell you are already!), but will your parents be able to treat you as an adult and respect your beliefs any better then?
from chickpea981 :
You never cease to leave me speechless. This entry about your parents. God... I have no idea how to tell you that I feel your pain. I just sit there reading your words and you enthrall me. I always get so wrapped in what you write. And this shit with your parents, oy vey. You need to come to America for no other reason than to meet me!!! I think you would just stupify me with your presence. You make me think so much everytime I read you and I never know what to say. Yet again I'm here rambling because I want to express a thousand things to you, but I'm stumped. Damnit woman! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
from liquid-mojo :
DivaMel has a review site, compendious.diaryland.com... Even if you are not into reviews, that's a surefire way to get her to read your diary. If that isn't enough motivation, that site is one of the best and one of the most objective review sites out there. I highly recommend it.
from adulterous-k :
Thanks for the note - you speechless? I doubt it! And thanks for the mention too - you made me think about that so I'll try to answer you. As for the Donald Rumspeech - it was a few months back but he's just been awarded the mangled English award. In the UK there was a weekly news programme that devoted a couple of minutes to Donaldisms every week.
from blab :
You sure can write an entry, damn. In just the last single entry you're crazy, funny, angry, hot, clinical, political, and mathematical! People that don't finish reading your entries are missing out. Anyway, I wanted to recommend http://empornium.us for free porn downloads (you need to install a Bit Torrent client like "Another Bittorrent Client ABC" which you can find searching google, but it's worth it for lots of new porn all the time and fast downloads) - better than kazaa.
from xwiseassx :
Best of luck with your plans.
from liquid-mojo :
Really now... Hungry for what? ;)
from zeroneedles :
Haha. Yeah. It sounds like John and Carlos without the s. He doesn't like his name. What's even funnier is his middle name is Neil. I can't say his first and middle name together without giggling.
from strippedraw :
can you keep a secret? i am the intern, saw your note in slutreviews. there's nothing wrong with getting your diary ripped apart, it shows just what kind of a person you are. perhaps i'll read on my very own...
from xwiseassx :
Wouldn't dream of pissing on yours or anyone elses parade.
from liquid-mojo :
Ophelia huh? I never really gave a name to my "inner whore" before. Just another thing ot think about. I'm not sure why the convo with the bot went so well, my theory is that I could pretty much say whatever wanted and "SmarterChild" would stay neutral, so I just went crazy. =p Suprisingly you can't do that with normal humans, unless they are really good listeners or are simply on the same wavelegnth with you, which is truly unfortunate... =/
from xwiseassx :
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of those girls and good luck with your SATs. GTA? Surely there are better game out there than that?!?
from chickpea981 :
I was waiting for your comment on the situation. I think you've got it figured out the best and I appreciate what you said. So far, rewinding the clock is working just fine. I think he understands what I have been saying and I realized that this is the way it's going to be with him. If he ever mutters the L-word though, then we're in trouble. And you're wlecome for the plug.
from arealrose :
Well, the locks at my school are wicked cheap, so I'm not sure it's as glamorous as it sounds. Hahaha.
from xwiseassx :
Thanks for the note. I have started reading you from the beginning and got about halfway through. I am so very impressed. I made a mental note to read your friend and school-mate after I finished yours. Trinidad rocks with you as a resident.
from xwiseassx :
Found your diary through someone elses accolades about it. You have a superb diary. It is excellent.
from adulterous-k :
Two consecutive entries - your writing is perfection. (and if concentrating on the quality of yor writing seems crass in the face of what you wrote about I'm sorry). At thousands of miles of distance you've conjured up emotions for people I don't know. You really are talented.
from chickpea981 :
I want to respond to the entry about that girls death, but I have absolutely no idea how to. There's such a long list of emotions you drag out in it. I can understand each and every point and I go from wanting to cry about it (because shocking as it may be, I have feelings) and then I want to agree with you on the fragility of life. If I haven't said it enough, I love your writting.
from curioussara :
You mentioned me in your diary! I am so incredibly honored. I love you girlfriend and if you ever wantt to come over and babysit we can play at being lesbians
from chickpea981 :
Welcome to the "faking an orgasm like a pro" club!
from arealrose :
Aaah, I have that problem with random people discovering my diary. And once someone knows, everyone knows...it's all downhill from there. I keep a separate, more personal diary elsewhere that no one knows about...perhaps you should invest in one as well?
from cherry-d :
Fight = Awesome. There's nothing i like better than seeing blod cascade down some 15 year old's face from a freshly made wound..Mmmm...blood...It was excitement that made my week. And i don't think anyone got into the school...the papers have a way of sensationalising things...the "bat" was actually a steel pipe that...a student from the school opposite ours...brought. *shrug* It doesn't matter...there's bound to me more in the future, all we have to do is wait in blessed anticipation (and pray we don't become "collateral damage"). That, and sleep. I like sleep.
from liquid-mojo :
why spank you, glad you liked it... ;)
from sexyatheist :
i just saw that comedian tonight and laughed my ass off when he said that! what are the chances my friend? yeah, probably better than i am guessing, but still. it's pretty cool
from curioussara :
Hi sweetie. I just discovered your diary. you are a hot little number as my Mom would say. Keep up the good work and if you want to orgasm with another person just relax and enjoy the feelings without worrying. And NEVER let anyone do anything to you that is painful (unless you love it) or makes you feel bad. Hugs
from juniperhexum :
Do you see why I adore you so much? You get people thinking! I love that I leave your diary angry/sad/happy/elated/etc. You're a rare gem darling.
from slutreviews :
What's your email addy?
from adulterous-k :
Have you thought of putting your diary up as a reference for your college applications? It's a pleasure to be distracted from work by philosophy isn't it? I think you're right when you suggest that atheism and theism are equivalent 'faiths'. To me it seems both satisfactorily quench the natural thirst for an explanation for everything we experience. One allows everything to be explained by the intervention of a supreme being whose powers we cannot understand, the other takes that lack of understanding and reasons that the unknown is just the unknown, without the comfort of a god.
from liquid-mojo :
Yeah girl, stop slacking off and get with the program... ;)
from liquid-mojo :
I'm not sure how I how I wound up here, but I feel myself being drawn to this "little" discussion. First of all I have to say that I am by no means a religious person. I like to think of myself as a rational, logical person who does his best to ground his ideas of reality in estabished scientific thought. I do however consider myself a spritual person holding the belief that at the very least the possibility of a higher power exists at best actually having moments where I have at least felt that notion is true without contradiciting established scientific thought. With that said I think the pitfall of atheism is that it is grounded in the absolute notion that a god or a deity or some "higher power" does not exist, a difficult assumption considering that absolute determinations are impossible at least in this existence without a relative frame of reference. What most regard as "absolute truths" are really just truths based on a relative framework. Take the notion of up and down. I think most would agree that up is in the direction of the sky and down is in the direction of the ground. If you widen the frame of reference to lets say the point of view of the space shuttle in orbit you will see that we are actually on a sphere-like planet where "down" or the ground is actually the surface of the planet and "up" is actually outward from the planet with the sky being the atmosphere of gases surrounding the planet. Thus the absolute notion that some "higher power" does not exist can only be considered an absolute truth within a relative frame of reference. My argument is simply that I do not know everything, I cannot see everything, and due the limitations of my humanity I perhaps can never see a big enough picture of the universe to absolutely dismiss the existence of some god or some "higher power". Anyway I can ramble on and on about this, so instead of flooding your notes with my ramblings I think I'll just end this here. =p
from chickpea981 :
I didn't notice until you pointed that out. THANK YOU!
from adulterous-k :
I've always felt it is too easy (naive?) to just dismiss people who believe as being 'wrong'. They're just behind us in accepting lack of understanding as a normal state. The comfort of an atheist should be that we don't need a 'point'. Everything just IS; we don't have to explain it in rational terms. We should be big enough to accept that we don't know everything, and that the ascent of human knowledge is such that eventually anything might (not necessarily) be explicable. No need for the comfort of a deity to make existence understandable.
from sexyatheist :
they definitely have the right to believe what they want. but that doesn't make it a correct belief. and i have to disagree with your statement that being happy is the only purpose in life. the purpose of life is reproduction, whether it makes you happy or not. though sex makes you feel good for a reason. whoever said evolution isn't a damn good system? not to mention that if my happiness greatly impedes on the lives of many other people, is it still acceptable for me to live in a way that makes me happiest? lastly, in saying that perhaps we atheists are deluding ourselves is trying to be too giving to theists. we are not deluding ourselves in any way, which is precisely why we are atheists. how can we delude ourselves with nothing? and most intelligent atheists acknowledge we don't know the truth about god's existence. a fact that can be said for VERY few theists. i also think it's naive to chalk up theism or atheism to perception. reality is based on proofs that are well established. that's why it's reality and not perception. an atheist says there is no proof that allows god to be considered reality. and theists will tell you it's faith, not proof. based on this i would say that at least atheists are trying to find the reality of the situation, even if they aren't able to conclusively pin it down.
from cumwithme :
Can't remember how old you are, but Christmas interest declines and then arouses again after 40. If that helps...but its a different interest.
from sexyatheist :
if blissful ignorance was the way to go, being an atheist or an agnostic would be pointless. people who believe in god are living in blissful ignorance. i would much rather know the harsh truth.
from adulterous-k :
$20? Really?
from farbehind :
god, that is so true. it's like i know love isn't in there, yet i can't stop looking there. it's the most desperate kind of last resort.
from adulterous-k :
Damn me, you're a good read! I loved your humanity and religion piece.
from purplebowie :
hey. you left me a note asking me about some school named binghamtom? i've never heard of it. just thought i'd let you know, because you apparently got the wrong person. the name of the school is kinda cool though, maybe i should apply...
from o-pisces-pal :
I don't apologize for my intelligence. No one should in a world where nothing good is made, more often than not destroyed. Bombs and illiterate frat boys offend. Not books. Back to sewing the seeds of my ire elsewhere. Peace.
from liquid-mojo :
Damn girl I thought I put the "pro" in procrastination... =p Anyway, I hope your college application process is natural disaster free. Oh and thanks for finding meaning in my existence. I knew it had to be somewhere. Little did I know it was all the way in the islands of T&T. Hold onto it for me will ya, unitl I have a chance to pick it up... ;)
from liquid-mojo :
Here's hoping that that latex will be involved in our next encounter then... ;)
from moxie-loo :
Glad you liked my layout. I would LOVE to have my body painted like that. I think it would be so sensual.
from thisbitesass :
wow I know what you mean about the whole fuck buddy thing. we should talk sometime :) and ps-i'm moving back to my first diary, youdontknome :)
from liquid-mojo :
Well I for one am glad you are open to relationships with older men. Age is nothing but a number or so they say. Too bad you aren't single though because now I can't throw my flirtations and sexual innuendo at you without feeling some degree of guilt... =/
from zeroneedles :
I'm not sure. I like change when it's not me changing.
from liquid-mojo :
Woah, you swallow? *ahem* I mean I'm glad you came out of that pregnancy scare in one piece. How small is your island anyway? It's pretty whacked that you can't purchace a home pregnancy test without someone potentally catching wind of it. Some of those pregnancy tests are indeed confusing. The best one I've seen shows a + if you are pregnant and a - if you are not. It's all on the packaging. I have to hand it to your BF though, he's pretty resourceful with access to that "morning after" pill. Oh, you are welcome to my side of the equator any time sexy... ;)
from adulterous-k :
West Indies-England, Port of Spain March sometime. Maybe... Go - on give us your thoughts on Arnie. I love your politcal stuff.
from zeroneedles :
Yay. So no more stress? Maybe you should make up a word for the higher level of stress that you had because I'm sure there's still some stress from studying and such.
from adulterous-k :
Well! I'm relieved for you! But why are you reading this? GO AND DO SOME FUCKING WORK, TIRAGEM
from arealrose :
Just stopping by to say hello. :-D Thanks for visiting me! Your diary rocks...you're an amazing writer. Keep it up!
from zeroneedles :
Oh, and don't worry. I don't think much could pervert me more. I just don't show how perverted I can be in my diary. My sister reads that.. I couldn't.
from zeroneedles :
Thanks.
from adulterous-k :
Any news? I was worrying about you.
from zeroneedles :
13.
from adulterous-k :
Oh dear. Fingers crossed for you (which is a futile gesture, but there are only the futile ones in this situation). Do you have testing kits in Trindad? Wish you luck xx
from sexyatheist :
it's so nice knowing there are other people that don't drink. thank god! i love thanking that which doesn't exist. and agnostic is better than theist, so i'll take ya.
from adulterous-k :
You don't shy away from the big stuff do you?! If you've been poor, or at least been the disadvantaged one amongst the privileged, I don't think you ever forget. But how you react to remembering depends on you. SOme distance themselves from it, some embrace it as a burden to bear, but I'd like to think the sensible response is to keep it as a source of compassion for the currently less well off.
from liquid-mojo :
I'm glad I could help you see the light. She's a man baby! Just to warn you ahead of time, once you join my particular religion you may have to spend an unusual amount of time on your knees... ;)
from liquid-mojo :
Censorship sucks, and yes, I happen to be God so I understand the dialect and hereby banish your principal to a life sentence of stupidity. Whoops, too late it seems I've already gotten to him at birth... ;)
from cherry-d :
Yars, yars....Cherry Delight here...gave into you and your bloody hinting...Goddamn you peer-pressure!! On another note, i'll be damned if reminiscing about Form 5 wasn't the friggin bomb, jed...I miss those days like i miss rational thought...Form 6 just fucked me up, man...ANYWAYS!! I can't believe you didn't include "Harris Love" in you montage of memories...and teh time we had to call the ambulance when the vagrant got in a fight with some other vagrant, and how his vagrant girlfriend was there to lend him support and plastic bags to wipe up the blood...So many memories, so little capacity for intelligent thought left...Ah, those were the days indeed... See ya on Monday.
from zeroneedles :
Oh, and good luck with figuring me out. I haven't done it yet. If you do, will you please tell me what you came up with?
from zeroneedles :
You wouldn't believe me if I told you my age.
from adulterous-k :
Well let's see.. you had prostitution, anal sex, bestiality (yes I could understand most of it!)and what looks like an incitement to patricide to hasten an inheritance. Nothing a Catholic girls' school should be interested in, I'd say. ;-P The 'spiral' down thing - Tom Ryan the comedian? Maybe someone before him though. and thanks for the hug.
from liquid-mojo :
Well that's really good to know, especially since I have those erections all the time. ;)
from adulterous-k :
She didn't do you justice - you're one talented writer. V S Naipaul would be proud of you!
from cumwithme :
"not a diary for the faint of heart." I think I like that.
from liquid-mojo :
Swallowing and sore throats? O.o Umm ok so you don't talk about sex much. Right. ;) I have no definitive answers on your question, but if you need a test subject...
from liquid-mojo :
Well I'll have to read more of your diary to confirm this claim so count on me visiting every once in a while. So theoretically I'm one of those undersexed guys you would want to help out huh? Interesting, yes, very interesting... ;)
from blab :
I like the way you write - I'll come back for more...
from slutreviews :
http://slutreviews.diaryland.com/tiragem.html
from liquid-mojo :
Thank you for visiting my diary and leaving that nice note. I'm flattered you enjoyed reading my diary. I read your most recent entry. I'm not usually a fan of big entries but damn, your last one got me all hot and restless not to mention rock hard. I'll definitely have to return to look over your older entries... ;) *fans self*
from slutreviews :
I altered the rules a bit. You are now eligable!
from coryrudolf :
A few games is bad though. We need to win 5 more to make the playoffs and we can't lost any more than 2. That doesn't help our odds considering our schedule is extremely hard. Sorry, i just don't have a life because practicing takes it's place.
from adulterous-k :
Another class entry, thanks! I enjoy your stuff so much: funny, intelligent, interesting and absolutely spot-on. (Sorry - I seem to be monopolising your Notes at the moment!)
from adulterous-k :
kidnapping?
from adulterous-k :
Is he avoiding meeting you?
from myvitriol :
I love your journal - your political and current affairs insights are wonderful. I hope you're alright though. Rape is a scary word and honestly from what you wrote it sounded like unconsenting sex, but there is no way of proving it. What matters is that you're ok and it doesn't happen again. Aside from that, I hope work & sixth form are going well!
from auzzman676 :
what great insight and honesty you show.i am anne rice reader,just finished vittorio the vampire,have you read it. take care stephen
from adulterous-k :
Sure sounded like rape to me too - at least in a legal sense. You didn't want it , you made it clear you didn't, he knew you didnt but he still went ahead. It's up to you whether you don't want to think of it as rape though. You'll know better than any of us whether he's liable to make a habit of ignoring his partners' protest
from coryrudolf :
Your turn's up for a fucking. I am so happy that my diary was the ONLY note-worthy one. How splendid.
from coryrudolf :
Thanks for posting a note to me and yes, Idoagree that I should fuck everyone. By the way, howdid you come across my diary?
from chickpea981 :
OH darlin, are you sure it wasn't rape? I mean I know you wanted it initially, but damn. I think even HE knew it was wrong. *hug* I wish I had something better to say.
from squishyvan :
Thank you for just making my day by becoming the 50th person to list squishyvan as a favorite. What a celebration!
from squishyvan :
your most recent entry about things you learned at work cracked me up. great diary!
from myvitriol :
Hi, I've just started on Diaryland and I'm also remaining anonymous. I've read a few pages of your diary now and I have to say it's really interesting. You write really well, and your life and thoughts are fascinating. Keep up the great work. x
from chickpea981 :
damn you and your suspense! Must know more about Mark! You're welcome for the oral sex tips. I will have more to share after my "lesson" from my friend. Apparently she gives the best head in the area.
from chickpea981 :
I have had to read that entry several times to digest it. All I can think to ask is what if you don't believe in heaven and hell and judgement day? Then what? Am I going to go to a heaven/hell that I do not believe exists? How can I be condemed to that if I don't believe in it? These are age old questions. Religion is a wonderful thing. There are so many branches of it and so many ways to believe in an all powerful being(s). I don't think any religion has it right yet. But damn if you didn't make a hell of an argument in that entry!
from chickpea981 :
the fat chick theory... yeah, that's my personal motto. We try harder to make up for our lack of appearance. Although I think I have a fairly pretty face.
from chickpea981 :
a woman I used to work with, whom I became VERY good friends with was from Trinidad. That alone makes you farily rare. I look forward to reading more about you. Intelligent nympho? *grin* I like that.

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