messages to toastcrumbs:
(click here to add new message):

from dinahsoar :
It's really YOU! You're here! Remember me? It's been a million years, but I always remember how you'd make me laugh. I bought some of your amazing jewelry. I just opened my Diaryland a couple of days ago. So glad you're here! I'll be writing, but haven't started yet.
from sduckie :
Hey there Toast, most of my clothes are in plastic bins, I guess I have to get some more for all my other stuff.. I actually did not know that I was going to have to put stuff into a storage unit, I thought it all could go in my parents' house... I was wrong. Little did I know that mice break into everything!! Ugh.
from orangeslush :
Reading your postings was the most fun I've had in awhile :) I got nostalgic for Dland awhile ago, but then forgot about it again.... I just friended your shop on FB. I might buy some cute things.
from sduckie :
I can't believe you own a house and a pool! A lot has happened in the past few years. Diaryland is like a ghost town now, isn't it? but maybe we can inspire our friends to start writing again.
from sduckie :
Hey there! I just saw your note and read some of your entries. I have been lame... but maybe I will start updating again especially since I know somebody might be reading!! Love Duck
from toastcrumbs :
I am bored and leaving a note for myself. Don't forget to buy bananas. Love, me.
from sduckie :
Hm... if we could just harness the hours and hours of our wasted woman power at these lame jobs... what could we accomplish?? I can't imagine that my diary is very interesting right now, but thanks for reading! I hope you are well!!
from artgnome :
I have finally unlocked my diary. If my ex wants to read my business, let him.
from sduckie :
Hey Toast, thanks so much for your note. I love when you update and I've missed you a lot! No, I haven't gone on the yoga retreat yet... I've been vacationing at my sister Delia's house, yoga retreat will be in Sept. I also only do yoga seriously 3 times a year, but I really feel like I should do it more often so I don't get creaky when I'm old. Whenever I see a really old bottomed-out person, it makes me check my posture and say, "I really should go home and do yoga." But I never do.
from somuchsugar :
Just wanted to say thanks for your notes they mean a lot and made me feel better! Hope all's well in wintry-land.
from somuchsugar :
Icepacolypse 2011 looks awful! I would be layering too. Those pics of your dog are SOOoo cute; he could kick my dog's ass. Mine would probably not even deign to step one foot in snow if we had it. He gets pissy when he has to go out in the rain.
from artgnome :
Your jewelry is looking fabulous and I love your etsy page! Your dog is also adorable. :)
from sduckie :
No man can resist a woman in earflaps carrying a big stick...
from dinahsoar :
You are hysterical! What a fun ride! When I read the dude's card, I thought it was just me. Kept reading it, looking for "remodeling". But, no! Remolding! Now that really IS a specialty area! Anyone can remodel!
from dinahsoar :
I gotta say ... you still got it, Toast! You were my first introduction to Diaryland. I stumbled onto your diary somehow googling something I don't even remember and there you were. I joined Diaryland only to leave you a note about how you cheered me up that night - so funny and smart! Diaryland has really been and is an amazing vehicle for me (not, of course, like your amazing vehicle!). A handful of strangers know me better than practically anybody! And you ... well, you still got it! Thanks!
from neko-carre :
I'm always glad to see your name in red in my Buddy List, Toast. Welcome back. Take your coat off and stay a while, eh? ;)
from artgnome :
I have a cat with the same breath problem and a car that's still hanging on by a thread. I may get it to pass inspection one more time.
from somuchsugar :
Toast! I don't know what to say. I just am happy to read your new post. And, if you miss Florida, move back there. You don't have but a couple chairs, right?!!! :)
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! I've been away from Diaryland, too. Came back within 83 days, however. I'm so sorry about Daisy. And I don't even know where your new apartment is, but it really sounds like you need to be in Florida. I'm just saying.
from xevilsuziex :
Hey there, sorry I am a bit late on this but I only drop into Diaryland about once every...85 years or so. I am so sorry to hear about Daisy! My cat, Spike, died a month ago. He was 16, and like Daisy was for you, he was with me through everything. I got him when I turned 18 and he saw everything from wild parties to broken engagements. Poor kitty, it's amazing he stuck around so long! I know it's strange to say this to someone you've never met in person, but for all the laughs you've given me through Diaryland, I would send you the money in a heartbeat to get Daisy's ashes. Also, I have learned there is no better tribute to your beloved kitty than to get a kitten who wakes you up at three in the morning to play a game called "Bite my owner's fingers until she's wide awake, then pretend to ignore her".
from dinahsoar :
Where are you? I miss you?
from dangerspouse :
I'm awfully sorry to hear about your cat. People who don't have pets never know how tightly our little buddies weave themselves into our souls. I think I cried more when my first corgi died than when my mom died (granted he smelled better, and never made me eat broccoli either). You gave a touching tribute there though, and I hope knowing that you kept at least one being on this Earth both company and out of a 3rd world stew pot for 13 years provides you some succor. That's more than a lot of us can say.
from dinahsoar :
I just read about Daisy. I'm so sorry. There is a beautiful website where you can create a memorial, but I don't know the name. My friend made one for his precious cat, Butter. I will try to find out.
from soapboxdiner :
R.I.P., Daisy.
from somuchsugar :
I'm so sorry about Daisy, that breaks my heart, I know what it feels like. I'm sorry :(
from princesscee :
I'm so sorry about Daisy.
from orangeslush :
I'm so sorry :( I lost my spikey last year (14 years) and it was devastating. Can I please give you $ to get her ashes?
from artgnome :
My heart goes out to you in all sincerity, as I have had to say goodbye to one of 13 years a few years back. It's hard and painful, they are the most devoted and caring of family. I pray for your future prosperity and for all good things to come to you.
from wilberteets :
I'm so sorry about Daisy. :-(
from neko-carre :
I'm so sorry about Daisy. We had to put our 15-year old dog to sleep this year, so I completely understand your grief. You did the right thing. She was so loved and knows it.
from omfggwtf :
stumbled on here. sorry to hear about your cat! :(! i hope you feel better, xo.
from somuchsugar :
Aha, I knew if I checked in every once in a while you might post again! Yay. I am glad you're out of CO! Take care, xoxox
from dieselengine :
I'm still reading you (not sure if you knew that) but from a different world. I'm on blogger now. xoxo
from artgnome :
I love your entries. I also love nutter butters. :) stay strong girl.
from sduckie :
Toast, I love to see you updating. It just makes me feel all is right with the world, even when the world is fucked up. Love, Duck
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast, Remember me? Your biggest fan and purchaser of jewelry? I just fell back into Diaryland and, reading today's entry, remember why I was here in the first place. Strangers have always been able to read my heart better than anyone else. Your entry resonated. We are not here in D'land because we are losers or can't navigate a "cooler" site or because we are not moving in any discernable direction. We are here because this is a community. A sort of psychic Esylan where we can shed our personas and breathe. Thank you for being here. I just moved back myself.
from uberfrau :
I used to read your blog way back when-while I did move over to wordpress-my life isn't all that fabulous, I mean this in a non depressing way.
from pattymelt :
Hey darling! I just found my way back Don't know that I will be updating but I actually thought of you randomly the other day. Just out out of the blue. So I finally got my password and now I am going back and reading all MY old entries. Crazy. Maybe I will come back. This was a place where nobody knew me and that was kind of nice you know?
from somuchsugar :
You are still entertaining!! I love when I see your updates. I know exactly what you mean about the exes... it's not regret exactly, but something of a loss.
from sduckie :
Hey Sister, I can relate. That is why I don't talk to my ex boyfriend from 2.5 years ago, because I know I cannot handle hearing about any new relationship that he might be in... and I'm dating a married man too- only his wife knows and is okay with it... so, we have a little bit in common. :) I hope you keep updating, it's nice to read you again. Love, Duckie
from ninabean :
well i for one find it refreshing that you are still updating after all this time. I had blogged back in the day and disappeared off the face of diaryland.. not to anything exciting, whats exciting to me is seeing some of the old journals I used to read are still updating! I miss the updating so I came back.. i hear you on the feelings towards the ex.. except I battle between wanting to hear how well his new relationship is doing and NOT wanting to hear.. or should i say, wanting to hear when its NOT doing well... evil, yes. true.. yes. i must catch up on ur recent entries!
from somuchsugar :
OH my god that is so cool you are MOVING!!! Get outta there and someplace warmer!! Yayyy xoxoxoxxox
from orangeslush :
Was it the porn store in Abeline? We always stopped there when we went to Abeline for fried chicken and russell stover's outlet.
from coldandgray :
Yay, road trip! Good luck on the move.
from sduckie :
Ah, Toastie, always good to see an update from you... I hope all is well! By any chance are you a Sagittarius? You move around a lot, girl!
from somuchsugar :
I'm sorry things are so down right now... yes the economy SUCKS, but it WILL get better (and the weather will get better soon too!). I'm sorry you can't move back to FL right now... Things will change once you start school, something else for you to focus on! I hope the weather gets better out there soon... I'm sorry Toast!
from coldandgray :
Blerg, sorry about the $$ situation. It is rough out there. Better, warmer times ahead.
from wilberteets :
I feel kind of bad about telling you that Colorado is great. Not that my endorsement had anything to do with you choosing to go there, but still. It's a bummer that you hate it. I love Colorado and spent a good many years regretting leaving there. I live in a very nice suburb of Houston, Texas, and I must say, I think I've acclimated to the heat. I really love it here. You should follow your heart, go back to Florida, or come to Houston (opportunities abound here) and never go to the snowy places again. Come on back to the dirty south, girl.
from dieselengine :
The first pair of boots are Chinese Laundry, I think the style is called Bali. They were on sale at Macy's for $39. I usually wear a size 10, but got them in an 8.5 they run HUGE!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! Remember me? One of your charter resin jewelry fans! Rainy day here in L.A. Slipped into Diaryland like into a favorite book and there you were! So refreshing!
from somuchsugar :
Yayyy welcome back!! From one habitual-job-switcher, like-kids-but-dont-want-any girl to another!! That is so cool you're taking Arabic classes... How cool! Good to hear from you!
from artgnome :
yay and welcome back!
from sduckie :
oh toast, how how HOW I have missed you! Is it even possible to eat too many grapes?? Keep having a lovely life, darling, you deserve it!!
from wilberteets :
Yoohoo... post something already. We're afraid you died of shock at your car repair bill.
from somuchsugar :
TOAST!!! Are you still around! Hope all is well xoxoxoxox
from somuchsugar :
Hi Toast! Just wanted to say hi, hope you are doing ok! xoxoxox
from somuchsugar :
just wanted to wish you a happy weekend!! take care xoxoxo
from cocoabean :
would it be possible to get your password? email to drkchoclover at gmail dot com. thanks!
from somuchsugar :
Yayy!! You're done with that job by today I think? Congrats! And I am so sorry about your car; that sucks. Can they do like a payment-plan or something? (Oh my god, that convo with the little kid was so funny! I love what they say sometimes!!)
from brooklyntcb :
It's been a while since I've been to Diaryland and I can't remember your password. How do I get back on the VIP list?
from xevilsuziex :
A while back, I was in a public restroom when a mother came in with her son. Minutes later, the conversation went something like this: "Mom, I can't do it. I can't go!" "Honey, why don't you sing your song?" Child sings: "I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it...." Children are priceless. ;)
from artgnome :
it's ALWAYS the shit that isn't covered by the warranty, isn't it? oh, and out of the mouths of babes, eh? :)
from somuchsugar :
Oh YAY YAY YAY!!!! Congrats on the job! That is so cool; I am glad you are feeling good about it, and they are lucky to get you! :) ... What are you going to school for again? Oh my god that is so cool. (Sorry if you mentioned it already!)
from artgnome :
yay for a new job with hopefully no finger snapping egos in sight. :)
from wilberteets :
Congrats on the new job! Yay for buying groceries and paying bills! You get to have ALL the fun.
from poolagirl :
So.....what's the new job????
from somuchsugar :
Oh my god, she SNAPPED her fingers?? BEE-atch. Glad you are out of there -- that is so cool that you quit. ... SO: Did you find out about that cool new job yet -- hope you don't have to wait till Monday, ugh!! I bet you will get it :) (And yes, I agree that U-Haul ride is worth some free hairstylin'!!)
from artgnome :
I totally hear you on the job thing. Sometimes you just know you are done. Good luck and hoping that you find something much better very soon! Happy highlights.
from coldandgray :
and especially what? Dick A. Dickman. No way. I share a floor with a company called Cockran Dickerson & it always makes me chuckle.
from artgnome :
man, denver is looking NICE. we are in the teens here, buried in snow and ice. brr.
from wilberteets :
Somehow, I missed getting your user name and pw so I am still locked out. A few notes back I posted my email addie. Can a sister get a few crumbs for her desolate toaster?
from somuchsugar :
HILARIOUS! I do that all the time... Did you ever find your car keys!
from somuchsugar :
Did you see that an article on Yahoo this morning entitled "Denver tops list of preferred American cities"? Hope you are indeed preferring it, and have a great weekend!!
from somuchsugar :
Oh my god, I LOVE wall-decals, and I lOVE that bamboo one!! Also what a beautiful bedspread... Your house looks so cozy (despite the factory) and I wish I could come over and bring you some flowers!! xoxoxox
from coldandgray :
nicely done.
from artgnome :
it is the sweetest little house! I cannot wait to get one of my own, too!
from sduckie :
Wow, it's beautiful! I like your style.
from poolagirl :
What a totally CUTE house!
from sduckie :
What is the best site for watching shows online? I found TV Shack but they don't seem to have all the episodes of each show...
from artgnome :
totally understandable. here you are: un-artgnome, pw-gnomeart
from artgnome :
Your house is very charming! I LOVE Labyrinth, my son and I quote it all the time. And they are spectacular fajitas!
from somuchsugar :
Oh Toast, please PLEASE do NOT move to Idaho!! ... And, that is definitely a surreal/weird combo of scrunchie-n-sweatshirt at the office... Get outta there!!! Now!!!
from moosehunter :
I had a Garfield sweater when I was in my teens in the early 80s, but it didn't fit even then! Actually, being made redundant is far from the end. Although it hit me hard last year and I ended up in a job I'm not over-sure about, it did lead me to pursuing my greater goals, such as writing and photography, and got me to the point where I'm hoping to rely on the two as an income by the end of this year. Move to the UK! It IS the motherland after all! Good luck. Moosey
from dieselengine :
OH MY GOD! I know that Garfield shirt with "I don't do mornings" on it because when I used to live with my old roommate, her grandma came to visit one weeked and the following morning she ambled down the stairs in a nightshirt EXACTLY LIKE THAT! Not only is your boss wearing a shirt...it is a NIGHTSHIRT!
from somuchsugar :
I'm so sorry you are feeling melancholy... I hope things look up. (Waiting for a job call-back is hard too, I know, I'm sure that doesn't help.) ... (Thanks for letting us know your diary password again!!) ... take care
from sduckie :
This is an alarming symbol of the state of our government!
from wilberteets :
Boo. Hiss. I am sad that you are locking up, because your toasty little corner of the web is one of my favorite places to visit. If you decide to give a few of us your password, I would like to have it. [email protected]
from artgnome :
I'm also a fan of your blog and your craftwork. Depression is common and I think it happens to almost everyone (except Tom Cruise, of course) from time to time. I hope wind changes in your favor soon and that you feel much better soon!
from sduckie :
For what it's worth, I'm a fan. :)
from moosehunter :
Only being able to get the jobs you don't want seems to be a worldwide problem. Hits me every damn time. Quality Control inspector at the local brewery? Nononononono. Deeply sh*tty writer of database software in confusing and baffling languages? Come right on in! And I'm dreaming of heavy snow, coz then our village gets cut off easily and I can't get to work. Dammit! Ahahahaha. Good luck with the interview. Knock 'em dead. Note from personal experience: don't wear clown-trousers! Moosey
from somuchsugar :
Oh no, sorry about your job!! But you sure got an interview fast -- yay!! Good luck tomorrow, you will do great (plain black tights & all!) ... And you are right - I could never abide working where tights are frowned-upon... That would be NO place for you! :)
from sparkspark :
You know, I can't help but think of the marvelous decoupage you could work on that new prosthetic leg. You might start a trend. Or a cottage industry. I wish you luck on the job front, and am certain you will land on your foot. XOX
from dieselengine :
I'm sorry to hear you are losing your job but that will give you plenty of time to pack your bags and move to Ohio. Admit it, you want to live here. You totally do.
from artgnome :
Companies always hire us contract so they don't have to pay any benefits. If you have been at your job at least six months, you should be eligible for unemployment.
from somuchsugar :
I saw that movie Teeth when it came out here, loved it! Let me tell you, there have been NUMEROUS times I wished I had teeth in my vagina. (There's a quote of the day for you.) ... Glad the weather is picking up there! Maybe you can schedule a trip for your boss, outside, so she'll leave you alone.
from xevilsuziex :
Should you go back to school? To figure this out, you only need to ask yourself two questions: 1. If I could do anything and get paid for it, what would it be? and 2. Do I need a college degree to do it? Maybe you could be a veterinarian who specializes in hamsters!
from somuchsugar :
Whaat... why didn't I get today off too, with pay?? Instead I am slaving-away in this lonely, cold building... boohoo on me. Ha! Anyway, time to spend looking up warm coats for your Pomeranian!! Yay!! ... Hope you are having a fun & Toasty holiday week!! xoxoxox
from artgnome :
watch the dog whisperer. That guy is amazing and you will learn a lot. I think he actually has an episode with a bossy little Pomeranian.
from poolagirl :
I have a Mary toast cruncher too! And a pirate one! I am SO adding you as a fave!
from somuchsugar :
Ha!! Maybe you have to turn catholic now, with that nightlight!! ... You are sewing a whole set of baby-bedding? Or is it a 'set', a blanket, what does that mean? She better call you her "BEST" friend from now on!! Ha. (Can you make it in hot pink? That would look cool...)
from sduckie :
Ugh, I hate cockroaches too! And they are terrible listeners.
from goodluckgold :
I like your profile!!!
from somuchsugar :
Oh I am sorry it sucked so badly... You know, it DOES sort of suck down there, by the Marina, and near Lombard... It is not anyone's favorite part of town... Nor is that building a great spot for retail; I was once there for a book show and it looked so cold & awkward. It is such a touristy-part of town. Poop... there are so many other beautiful & fun, cool places here, if I had been here I would have shown you :( And November can be chilly here too. And it is wicked expensive-a-mundo... I feel like I need to apologize!! Anyway, glad you & the doggy are enjoying your house still! Hope you are having a good week so far, xoxoxo
from somuchsugar :
Wow, a whole HOUSE?!! Well, this is a good time to rent one... bet the prices are good! I know what it feels like to shiver outside with the dog; wish I had a yard too! .... Can't wait to see those photos!!
from artgnome :
I've been JONESing to rent a house! just don't have the stable income yet. bah. happy hunting!
from coldandgray :
Just don't get the clumping kind, it is actually MORE work.
from artgnome :
In my experience, as long as it's TidyCat, it's livable. heh.
from artgnome :
I found your etsy page! Looking forward to buying something when I can. Thanks to my ex-husband from hell stalking me online, I have to go private with my journal. Please let me know if you want the password or if you would like to be put on a private email mailing list.
from somuchsugar :
Holy crap, I checked this site by chance & see that you are still writing here -- I have missed it recently; but now I know! .... I am so sorry about what is happening at your work, that is so weird, and must be so strange & uncomfortable as it involves your friend... Who knows what happened, I guess; keep us updated.... I hope you have a nice time on your trip to SF (it won't be as melancholy as your Florida-visit I promise! Just a bit foggy & chilly). Take care --
from artgnome :
I really love your site and your Work! It's amazing. I'm looking forward to buying one of your creations. How do I go about doing that?
from dieselengine :
Wow, you've really found your calling with the spoonclaces (I think that is what you called them once). I knew you were doing them, but you've really, really defined your style with these! And I love your table set up. I am actually jealous because mine is pretty crappy. I need to learn how to sew table cloths or something...
from coldandgray :
I did not see that coming. I hope the truth comes out, no matter what it is & I wish the best for all involved.
from poolagirl :
Oh gosh! I used to work as a youth director in a large church, and this type of thing is a truly awful mess to deal with. It happened on my watch a few years ago. One of my pre-teen boys accused the male teacher of "looking at him funny." Fortunately, none of it was true and we were able to clip it before it had a chance to become something else. Have all your volunteers been professionally screened and fingerprinted? I know it's expensive, but I insisted on that before anyone was allowed anywhere near the children. We have those precautions here at the museum now because our docents give school tours. It's just a really tragic thing to deal with - even if the charges are unfounded. I wish you the best with this. Please email me at [email protected] if I can be of further service. I have stopped by your diary a few times in the past and I may have dropped a note. I honestly can't remember. I just want to assure you that I am not some stalker fiend who gets off on stories about children. I am a serious educator and former youth director and I am willing to share what I know if you are interested. I also LOVE your toast imprint. I have one too - and a pirate imprinter as well. One can never have too many toast imprinters, eh? Take care.
from sparkspark :
I'm sorry for you having to go through this situation, and I hope everything works out for the best.
from coldandgray :
I understand what you are saying about being in a place that makes you miss a "time". I feel the same about SF & my youth.
from artgnome :
glad to see you back up on the radar! Waxing nostalgic is very bittersweet, no?
from cocoabean :
We have a lot of favorite diaries in common.. could I please get your password?? email drkchocloverATgmailDOTcom.. thanks!
from somuchsugar :
Thanks for your note; hope you're doing ok! This week sucks I don't know why; but your notes always brighten my day. xoxoxo take care --
from somuchsugar :
Now I want to live in Albuquerque too!! (Maybe your boss is in the same club as mine -- if so, hope your office continues to have hot water!)
from bunny828 :
you ok?
from somuchsugar :
glad you are back my friend! hope your Monday is going ok. :)
from bunny828 :
locked? Are you giving out the password? If yes bunny828 at earthling.net
from somuchsugar :
Toast! Why can't I get into your diary... I think you might have a password now again, I'm not sure, I'm sorry. ... I just hope you are ok, and hope you're having a good week. xoxoxo
from somuchsugar :
Thanks for your note -- i am the same way -- I feel the need to exercise after eating any little thing, I hate it! (So I try not to. Eat, that is.) ... I will be wishing you luck with your parents this coming weekend -- the first time they visit you in Denver?
from somuchsugar :
Wow, I know exactly what you mean about that type of situation/relationship... I wouldn't be able to help feeling angry at her too, even though it is weird!! ... (Once I drank a bottle of wine WHILE on a treadmill. AT THE SAME TIME as power-walking on the thing, which I had lugged via cab to my little studio apt. in Boston... Ok, it was a bottle of whiskey, but that's low-fat, right?)
from somuchsugar :
SNOW? Yuck. Bet you are missing Miami now! (But not the bugs.) Hope you're staying warm this weekend --
from coldandgray :
The world is going to blow up!
from somuchsugar :
oh my god, I think we should make our own Super Power team!! Think of the damage we could do... (And can we wear colored stockings, because that would be cool...) I liked your entry today. Definitely tops mine! ... Congrats on the free lunch & holiday!! Have a good one.
from sparkspark :
Happy A.P. Day to you, Ms. Toast. Did you get a free lunch? I did not. But I did get one half a cold breakfast burrito left over from someone else's A.P. Day celebration. NOW we're talking! XO Vio
from artgnome :
I am in total awe of your WANTING to work with the little ones, they drive me nuts! Must be my menopause...heh. I will not hold the SUV thing against you, as long as you can handle driving it. I'm totally buggered by those who have them and cannot.
from somuchsugar :
Thank you for your notes :) That sucks about the Peace Corps... I know how that sort of thing can follow you and it SUCKS!! I am sorry. Anyway, hope you have a good weekend out there in Denver!! (Maybe today you can put some Gas-X or something on that lady's desk... Good excuse to visit Walgreen's anyway!! haha. xoxoxo)
from coldandgray :
My mom was hard of hearing and would audibly fart in mixed company. She told us that we were supposed to "just ignore it".
from somuchsugar :
(Catching up; I missed you!) I forgot you were in the Navy -- I think you wrote about it once. That outfit (with bicycle shorts) sounds rockin'. Hope you & Orange Cat are settling in to Denver ok...? I think it must be very cold there. How did the interview with the Peace Corps go? .... (Once I was so anxious to get rid of stockings-static, I sprayed them with all-purpose cleaner from the supply closet. It worked!)
from bunny828 :
Somehow I think you are going to need a lot of bird feet.
from sduckie :
Working White Thursdays... does it have something to do with Islam? That's when a lot of people fast.
from sparkspark :
I knew it! Gold balls ARE for whores! And pawn shops. Anyway, I love when you update. XOXOX
from cherryglaze :
Woot! I thought about joining the Navy awhile back. You just managed to make me kinda sorry I didn't... I'm glad that I've been keeping you entertained. Likewise. :)
from neko-carre :
Tee hee! My cat hates the pricey scratching post I bought her too. Has never touched it once, even when I put catnip on it. It sits there pristinely, mocking me. However, the couch, an area rug, and my computer chair all get scratched regularly.
from orangeslush :
Well I moved to the UP, so alive may be an overstatement. my livejournal is kraphound, but it's friends locked and you need a lj login to read it. i looked on your etsy and just saw the AD magnets...is there another site? Do you have anything in fresh prince? my email is kraphound at yahoo lemme know about magnets!!!!!!!!
from coldandgray :
He is totally going to use the scratching post in his next video.
from sduckie :
"They" say if you take a dryer sheet and rub it between skirt and tights, the even static cling will disappear. But who has money to buy dryer sheets? You might have to steal one. Good luck on unloading that tower. Be careful when making the exchange to the porn guy, as it is a gigantic phallic symbol. Love, Duck
from orangeslush :
i really want golden girls magnets. are they gonna be for sale or are they for your private collection?
from artgnome :
I am indeed tres jealous. You are fabulous!
from coldandgray :
I love the office one and the 80's one the best. NICE!
from somuchsugar :
They have grapes in Denver?!
from coldandgray :
Be careful, don't get grape tummy. Not as bad as cherry tummy, but still ouchie.
from artgnome :
I'm glad you survived the move and are settling in. Grapes are high in sugar, but at least it's healthy sugar, no?
from somuchsugar :
OH I AM so jealous of your puppy; he must be the cutest thing EVER in the WHOLE WORLD! (I will fight ANYone who says anything else!) .... Congrats on the new job -- hope it's going ok! (Plaid skirts totally go well with beige cubicles, so you are cool.)
from coldandgray :
congrats on the new job and the new puppy, double excitement.
from sduckie :
So good to read you again. If you wear a beige suit, you might just completely blend into your beige cubicle. Then, people who are looking for you might not be able to find you. Genius!
from somuchsugar :
Happy V-Day, Toast!! xoxox
from somuchsugar :
Congrats on moving!! Holy *#%& that is a big move. So much colder there isn't it? Congrats on leaving that sucky job too. I will sing a bit of Disco Duck in your honor. (I missed you!)
from sduckie :
hooray for toast being back! .... yes, it can be depressing to witness that kind of poverty. i once worked with a woman and i visited her at her apt- it was filthy and her children had no toys. they were playing in the garbage and were obviously very neglected- the four year old couldn't even talk. really bad. hurt my heart.
from somuchsugar :
thinking of you, lovely lady! hope you're having a good week xoxo
from vintagegurl :
Toast-banana car girl I had no idea you were going through this... hope you feel better
from sduckie :
I know The Safe, only I could only experience it by stuffing myself; never never to feel empty. Food and the way we nourish ourselves with it (or not) can say so much. Just from reading you I know you are awesome. And sure, maybe I do miss the Cosby Show, but you are better than a watercolor presentation of Lisa Bonet giving birth any day. I don't know the answers to our self-destructive cycles but I just wanted to say that I am in your half of the stadium, rooting for you. And thanks for supporting me. With Love, Duck
from somuchsugar :
jeesh, sorry my last note there got a bit mushy, but I am a bit pile of mush, what can i say! Anyway -- have you ever tried Diet Ginger Ale? now that is MY diet coke.
from somuchsugar :
Now you are writing inside MY head!! How the minutes of the day go so slow, dwelling on all that crap... and bread? Jeesh. We get free bagels here on Fridays and it is an absolute nightmare of push-&-pull for me... I too, "just wish I could be the type of person everyone seems to think that I already am". I am also a rational, educated, & mature woman too -- but how I fucking hate high school; how it fucked us up. Oh, I wish you knew, wish I could tell you, I think you are so cool, and I don't even know you. And I am absolutely certain you are beautiful too, to everyone who meets you.
from sparkspark :
Is there anything I can do to help?
from mugwhump :
I haven't thought about that song since .... oh, since it debut in the 80's I guess. too funny!
from kanyooceemee :
I used to own a record with Disco Duck on it, I loved that record. Also had Kung fu Fighting on it.
from artgnome :
how exciting to finish out the year by ending one thing and beginning something entirely new! congrats! and I will NOT send you a card. :)
from sparkspark :
So... is it a shopping car?
from somuchsugar :
Yay for the new car!! Along with more lip gloss, maybe you buy another dog too now!! :)
from artgnome :
ooooo, new car smell for all that money saved by shopping at the dollar store. I think we have all had that helmet of poop at one time or another.
from somuchsugar :
HA! Sounds like the kind of place I buy my clothes...
from sduckie :
but if I can't bring my shopping car, where am I supposed to put the kids?
from kanyooceemee :
That has to qualify as some sort of child abuse... right? It's no wonder that the one looks like she could kill someone.
from heidiann :
Oh my god! If you have no further use for the book, I'd LOVE that!!! It'd make me so happy! I'll send you my address through etsy, where I can also admire your resin works of art! And I had no idea you were updating here again! That made me even happier! So many exclamation points.
from somuchsugar :
Darlin', whatever you have to say is exciting to me. xoxoxo
from mugwhump :
I always think its terribly unfair when McD's food never looks like the pictures, and rarely tastes like you'd expected. I'm always a little disappointed (and sometime yucky feeling) after I've eaten there.
from artgnome :
picowicken. I like this. We could start a new religion under this moniker, yes?
from artgnome :
My CoCo is like that. I can't even get the dickens in the carrier without suffering extensive damage to my person. Is Orange Cat still sulking at you?
from mugwhump :
Cat visits are NEVER fun. Regardless of the temperament of the cat. I'm sorry for your finger though. It should have been the vet that got bit, isn't that why we pay them the big bucks!?
from somuchsugar :
Oh my god, you have just posted a chapter from my own thoughts! Although I do try to run, I still walk about 90% of the route. So hopefull I don't suck. ..... Also, I think about food ALL THE TIME too. I hide diet pills all over the place. I know it is pointless!! I KNOW it is ridiculous!! I am 36 years-old!! But I can tell you, I promise, it DOES get easier as the years go by. It just SUCKS it has to take so long. I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. Hope you enjoy your weekend my friend, xoxoxo
from somuchsugar :
HOLY CRAP you are giving me a Walgreens-jones!! I am going to have to go after work. I did get pajama-pants from there this weekend; I think I might need a 10th pair.... I also sit next to a plexiglassed-in manager -- it is very annoying!! I wonder what would happen if I threw my computer screen at it... does that kind of glass break?
from artgnome :
oh my, if there were a dollar store with walking distance of my job, I would be in big trouble. I so love the dollar store!
from wilberteets :
Cats ARE liars! My cat runs down the hall towards the kitchen, screeeeeaming about his empty bowl and when I get there, I find that it's not empty at all. He just likes an overflowing bowl. He is a feeelthy liar and the truth is not in him.
from mugwhump :
Hey Toastie - are you still doing your resin jewelry? If yes would you e-mail me? I'm thinking about Christmas gifts lj.ducharme @ gmail . com
from mugwhump :
Pot Roast - Good! $ Store toothpaste - - BAD!!
from kanyooceemee :
I needed that laugh. You are too funny.
from mugwhump :
Happy Thanksgiving girl. Shake that boredom!!! enjoy some turkey
from sparkspark :
Mmmmmmm... stick.
from artgnome :
I am also at work, trying to focus, but being tremendously distracted by the fact that it is almost holiday vacation time. agh. hang onto those eyeballs.
from centralquirk :
Umm ... did you live with me and I just didn't realize it? Maybe you were sleeping in my boxes of stuffed animals. I apologize for all slackers everywhere. *grin* Anyway, enjoyed reading. Look forward to checking out more.
from somuchsugar :
YES!! I love dollar-stores (almost as much as I love Walgreen's)!!! You would LOVE my neighborhood -- there is a dollar-store on every block!! (But gingerbread-smelling lotion? Yuuuck!! hahah)
from dieselengine :
OK now I am moving to denver! I WANT THAT BED TOO!!!! PS how do you find sheets for it?!?!
from sparkspark :
Word.
from dieselengine :
Graet job on the dresser and you made a pretty decent profit to boot! YEAH! I also miss stirrup pants. But not jelly shoes.
from bunny828 :
Nice dresser. Sounds like you got a good return for your effort. Bad Stirrup pants! They sucked if you were tall (and not very forgiving either).
from somuchsugar :
Stirrup pants are heavenly!! And I miss headbands too. Hmmph.
from sduckie :
love to see all this creative stuff you are doing!!
from artgnome :
I so do love the craigslist, and what you did with that dresser! NICE WORK!
from somuchsugar :
HI! Thank you so much; that means a lot to me. Without going into detail on your public notes here, I have to tell you I have gone through exactly the same things. People & family can be so... silly &/or hurtful... hard to find exactly the right descriptive word for it! I am so sorry. Hope you have a good weekend. xoxoxo
from coldandgray :
I was gone for awhile and boy did I miss you.
from mugwhump :
Nice to see you write again. You've been so quiet. But I understand busy. I hope you are well, and are excited about moving. New adventures and all.
from somuchsugar :
I am very envious of your free pizza coupon... Hmmphhh!!! I wonder if I could get in on the Private Toast Files? :)
from noaddedme :
ok, so what is the price of admission to the private life of toast?
from artgnome :
I'm so glad you found a new place to live! I hope it's a grand experience.
from somuchsugar :
What the #%^& is with the "curio-cabinet"??? You must get away from there, Oh I wish you luck deciding about Denver!! (Also: Memphis is lovely!! If you move there, I could give you tips!) :)
from wilberteets :
You're so funny.
from mugwhump :
Yes, I would suggest its high time to make some serious decisions. If nothing else, find some temporary lodgings other than where you are. It will drive you crazy otherwise.
from artgnome :
your roomates sound ready to be on that show, "Clean House" with Neicey, who ain't havin' it. hah. Good luck with the move search. I hope you find the perfect place for mermaid coloring parties.
from sparkspark :
I am also down with this "slacks" issue. Word to the slacks. I look forward to the publishing of your new exercise program. In my mind, it is entitled "YogaToast: DVDs and Cheese" and it comes with a free butterknife. Do you have any plans for an endeavor such as this? XO Violet
from somuchsugar :
SLACKS for sure!!! .... (Wait, there's neither humor nor cheese in yoga...? You're a braver person than I!!)
from sparkspark :
All the best to you. To you, and your giant underpants.
from artgnome :
sounds like you are having quite an adventure, in giant underpants, of course. :)
from somuchsugar :
Toast!! Have you moved to Denver yet? (Away from the beach :()
from sduckie :
okay I'll email it to you... just because I am private... email me at [email protected] ;^) Love, Duck
from sduckie :
ok, I really wasn't on vacation that long... i've been uh, getting my life together? abducted by aliens? plain f**in' lazy? yes, that's it.
from sparkspark :
You know, there has been a lot of Fanilow talk around here lately. Perhaps this is a sign that Barry is going to make an appearance in your life. I see a love child in your future... sing it with me now... "We'll just go on burning bright... Somewhere in the niiiiiiight!" Thank you very much!
from coldandgray :
DAMN, I was going to make a Mandy comment, but Sugar beat me to it & it is too early for plan B.
from mugwhump :
You do meet the most interesting people.
from somuchsugar :
So relieved to hear of your narrow-escape from Roy's baby-machine-trollin' mama. Though I myself am a Fanilow, I would never force you into anything like that. (I might replay Barry's "Mandy" over-and-over again whilst we hang out, drinking margaritas... But don't all people like to do that...???) :)
from kanyooceemee :
i love it when weird random things like that happen and no one is harmed (or brainwashed) in the process!
from somuchsugar :
Aarrrgh - sounds like your mom & mine have a lot in common!! Maybe they could hang out together, and not eat anything... (Makes me want to organize a trip to Walgreen's for guilty-pleasure-purchases!!) :)
from sparkspark :
It might be fun to, when someone asks you to take their picture, run up next to them and take one of yourself with them. It would be better if the camera weren't digital, and they'd have to go ahead and develop it. Maybe you could just do that to people with regular film cameras. I am all about planning ahead. And... here is a song for you, ready? Oh, no! They say she's got to go! Go, go, Toastcrumbzilla! Why I was kicked out of Blue Oyster Cult, I'll never know. XO Violet
from somuchsugar :
Haha!! Toastcrumbzilla, I'm often tempted to decline tourists' photo-requests as well. But, of course, I never do... But I should. Alas. Good luck with the invites. (I can only DREAM of thousands of burritos!! Damn. What are they thinking??!!)
from coldandgray :
$80,000 on a wedding is just gross. Next time someone asks you to take their photo, run off with their camera.
from somuchsugar :
That is SO cool you ate where Elvis once ate! I am soooo jealous. Thanks for thinking of me! What did you order?! Hope you are doing ok with your move; maybe you are already in Denver? Hope you're settling in (and your underwear is on right-side as well).
from pickledgirl :
HA HA! I have arrived here in diaryland! Now I can be all salky and stuff and keep tabs on you. Or not. I just enjoy your writing. I'll probably post some actual diary entries and stuff here! see ya later aligator!
from somuchsugar :
Enchiladas, YUMMM!!! (Oh no - have you seen this: http://nz.news.yahoo.com/070815/7/188w.html - adversary to the Toast!)
from coldandgray :
wrong-side-out is not a problem. It is when your underpants are on backwards that there are issues.
from dinahsoar :
Damn! You are toastilicious! I had forgotten how hyterical you are (not having visited Diaryland regularly in awhile). Thanks for making me laugh out loud on this kinda moody Sunday. Your description of the "elite" vegan crowd was right on! You should have a column in a newspaper or something. You are like the kid with the pure heart that is able to see that the emperor is, once again, butt-naked! Your perspective is fresh and genuine (not to mention that you are a very gifted writer ... and a kick-ass jewelry maker)! Rock on with your toasty self!
from teranika :
strange. one of my fears about growing old is having those chin hairs turn grey and really thick and wiry - and being too feeble to trim them so that a nurse has to do it for me. Please shoot me before that happens. So, your CEO saw you. But at least you are young and virile enough to do your own trimming!
from wilberteets :
You make me laugh. Thanks for that.
from coldandgray :
You can absolutely guarantee the CEO will walk by at moments precisely like that. It usually happens to me just after I splooge yogurt all down my front.
from sparkspark :
I don't know for sure, but it seems to me that a great new craft idea could be: supergluing spoons to the dreadlocks and/or plastic glasses of vegan crafters. It seems like something you might need permission to do, but wouldn't it be nicer to just surprise them with their new look? I think so, too.
from somuchsugar :
You can't take Pepe away from me!! Noooooo!!! (Congrats on your craft show this weekend!)
from artgnome :
ONE hair? just one??? how did you get so lucky? maybe it was because you survived having pizza pants! hah! :)
from mugwhump :
I've got the chin thing happening too. Brace yourself - it gets worse as you get older. Little black hairs that pop up in places you don't want them to. It's called aging - deal with it. :-)
from toejam :
I have that EXACT same hair on my chin!! (actually, now that I am older it has become two hairs...which is a real pain in the ass, so be prepared.)
from somuchsugar :
You may have band-aids on your feet, but I bet you're wearing cuter shoes than I!!
from somuchsugar :
Funyons and panties, oh my!! I need to make my own shopping list now...
from coldandgray :
New underpants + Funyons = happy face
from sparkspark :
I had no idea your job was so technical. Do the three holes have to be all the same size? xoxo Violet
from paper-girl :
Good luck with your move. I recently made a huge move like that - sold my furniture and all, but luckily my orange cat (and my gray one too) didn't need to be medicated. They both fly well!
from somuchsugar :
Thank goodness you avoided any case of Stuffitis! Congrats on your decision. Moving is fun and exciting! (Just keep telling yourself that as you drug your cat...) Seriously, that is very cool. (And so are you!) No more Florida lizards and frogs and bugs, right!!
from wilberteets :
I am amused and gratified that the first entry I read today was about your grandmother's balls. I am also very happy that you are moving to Denver. Good decision! I was afraid I would hate Texas, but I went and I like it so much better than where I moved from! Good luck in Denver! Does your Florida dwelling ass own a coat? Better get one...
from artgnome :
I'd take Denver over Florida any day, but of course, I'm a snow bird and not a big fan of Florida anyway. Any excuse for a new adventure is a good one! Me - ow.
from artgnome :
I hope it's only a leprachan and not an appendix or gallstone issue. I hope you feel better soon, in a turquoise twin set.
from sparkspark :
I am eating a whole lot of bright pink jellybeans in order to send you good eBay luck. That's the magic formula, you know: get someone who lives out of state to consume brightly colored candy during the bidding process: it totally works. And, now I will eat some candy corn to alleviate your side cramps. XO Violet
from wilberteets :
Once upon a time I had a mysterious pain in my side that sort of gradually turned into a stabbing pain whenever I moved my leg. Every step I took, eventually, gave me that pain. This progressed fairly rapidly. It was a kidney infection. I would never have guessed that it was a kidney thing. I thought it was just a pain in my side. So if there is any chance it's a kidney infection... check it out.
from bunny828 :
Yes, I am so jealous. So you want to move to Denver so you can have your own 2 bedroom home with 37 people? (Or maybe you'll move into an existing overly crowded home?)
from somuchsugar :
If I may admit, I just look forward to reading your blog so much. I think you are wonderful and so funny. Your 'vacation' sounded sticky. Ugh. But I do sort of yearn for a Poohuahua now, just to be able to say, 'I have a Poohuahua'. (Are you SURE you might want to move to Denver...? Though possibly it has changed - for the better - since I lived there for a couple years, when I was little.)
from wilberteets :
DENVER!!! Go to Denver. Definitely. Do not pass go, do not collect the 200 bucks, go directly to Denver. And can I go too?? I grew up in Colorado Springs and Colorado has the greatest climate. It's beautiful and comfortable, and I wish to God my bosses would start buying hospitals up there. At my soonest opportunity, I'll be back in Colorado. Don't sign that lease in Florida!
from mugwhump :
For some reason I always thought you were in California. Now I find you're in Florida! You are WAY the heck across the other side of the country. WOW! Now, I'm more than ever convinced that I want to see Florida some day. You rock!
from artgnome :
food, our arch nemesis for sure. I love your toastware, btw, it's awesome good stuff! :)
from mugwhump :
I love the sounds of either of those apartments, but whatever you do - don't compromise on having internet! What would we do without our side of Toast everyday?
from somuchsugar :
You deserve that apartment by the beach! Just think of the money you'd save on gas, driving those 12 miles...
from sparkspark :
I do that "scan" too! So far, so good. I have learned to imitate my boss's handwriting pretty well, so my next step is to "improve" his notes with suggestions like "increase Violet salary 40%" or whatnot. I suggest you give it a whirl, as well. XO Violet
from somuchsugar :
Ha! Maybe you could add your own 'tasks' to your boss's list; like "give Toastcrumbs a raise". (Thanks for your suggestion on my post today; I will try that technique later at Walgreen's! It IS my second-home after all...)
from mugwhump :
I used to have a job just like that. And I did the same thing, for pretty much the same reasons. Too funny!
from artgnome :
I dread the thought of having to move again, agh. Hopefully we'll both have some luck with the search for a new spot. Those darned serial killer bathtub rings are a bitch, no?
from mugwhump :
Even in illness you are one crazy piece of toast. Stay away from McD's - not good.
from princesscee :
I'm the one that has been lurking in your diary all day, just in case you get freaked out about the stats! :) You write totally hilariously, and you made my day at work go by so nicely. I think I only put in about two hours of real work. Thanks a million!!!
from bunny828 :
Bwaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I still get a kick out of your entries. CHOAD...I think you should try it. And I had the fart conversation with the kids the other day. They were throughly grossed out. I hope they forget.
from coldandgray :
ass oil spray = nooooo! CHOAD = BRILLIANT! getting a dog = yes, yes, yes
from sparkspark :
Please add me to your mailing list for this great new diet. I'm very interested in anything that involves Cheetos and Wessonality. XO Violet
from wilberteets :
DUDE! You're hilarious! I'm adding you.
from wilberteets :
Thanks for the add! :-)
from somuchsugar :
I am laughing so hard at this post I am in danger of anal-leakage myself!!! I am grateful for your warnings, as I am extremely susceptible to both diet-pill adverts and huge-ass burritos... Not a good combination.
from lobo21 :
I have stopped by a few times but only the effects of alli could make me leave a note. I have the greatest sympathy for the effects of said drug, that is if I could stop laughing from your description of the side affects. all the best. --Dave
from dieselengine :
My friend is taking alli too and she said that while it does block the fat it also SCARES you into not eating fat because of the pizza pants. Wowsa.
from coldandgray :
mmmm....pizza pants.
from noaddedme :
I just read today that a study showed that after 2 years people taking the prescription strength of Alli lost 3 lbs. more than people not taking it. People who took it also lost a lot of clothes from (s)oiling themselves!
from somuchsugar :
Pants FIRST, then shoes? Damn. In what order does the deoderant fit in...? These are important facts I need to know.
from coldandgray :
GIANT FROGS THAT ATTACK? FLORIDA SOUNDS SO NEAT.
from and-darling :
Holy Jeez, your writing is so incredibly funny and uplifting-- I love it! I have a bio exam in about two hours I haven't studied for yet, but I think I'd rather read some more toastcrumbs than do anything else. It's productive.
from somuchsugar :
(I just have to concur - WWJD!!! Love the Judy!)
from mugwhump :
It's good to purge ones belongings once in a while, but to have to give up your cats!!! I couldn't do it. In fact, I'm trying to aquire one more! LOL!! To bad you didn't live closer.
from dieselengine :
So where are you moving to? Please say Ohio.
from somuchsugar :
I hate that I have so much 'stuff' too! I am constantly trying to sneak things out to the trash, or purchase containers (more stuff!) to better organize things. I should get a cat, so he/she might pull my attention away from such things.
from onepinksock :
i never tire of the diaryland problems. so i'm still here. much thanks for the guestbook entry so i do know who is stalking me. just kidding. of course i remember the old diary and the stories of the dodge neon. good to hear from you.
from mugwhump :
I got tired of the problems on D-land. I've moved to blogspot - musingsbymugwhump please come see me.
from sparkspark :
Congratulations on your 17 pounds--I say blow off how long it actually took, and concentrate on that awesome gum you've acquired. I have acquired some gum as well, and it made me so happy to chew, I felt slightly mentally ill. Slightly more mentally ill. It is called "Skittles Bubble Gum," and is gum in the form of Skittles. Or, Skittles in the form of gum. It is so great! You might want to drop everything and go find this awesome, heartwarming gum. This has been Chewing Gum Corner, with your host, Violet
from somuchsugar :
I've got to get one of those Icebreakers Ltrawberry Lift things... playing with it all morning sounds a lot more interesting than what I've been doing at work today.
from dieselengine :
40lbs? So does that mean you started out weighing in the neighborhood of 80lbs because every photo I see of you, you are so thin!
from coldandgray :
Thank you for your selflessness.
from somuchsugar :
Oh POOP! Damn those online e-bills... I'm always fudging them up. I have about $9 myself until the 1st now. (I should treat you so some Ramen!) Take care this weekend, xoxoxo Kim
from mugwhump :
You speak the words right out of my mind. I always tell myself that the mirrors are all wonky.
from sparkspark :
I like the denial plan much better than the admittance plan. Can I stick with the denial plan? No? Thank you! XO Violet
from coldandgray :
Funny, I read the title as SHALLOW UNDERPANTS.
from bunny828 :
So would the undie thing have anything to do with the ass bagels?
from orangeslush :
God I love onion bagels. But not when they taste like ass, like all the bagels here do. I can't write on dland anymore because my life is so shitty I can't even talk about it. Seriously. Im glad you write things though.
from coldandgray :
I love a good onion bagel with cream cheese, hold the ass.
from dieselengine :
My friend Karen does this for like 5 days at a time. I think I could do it for five. Hours, that is. I tried the salt water drink. Totally nasty.
from sparkspark :
What is this "portion control" of which you speak...?
from coldandgray :
DRASTIC 180. DON'T DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
from somuchsugar :
mmmm noodles!! I LOVE the noodle recipe!!
from coldandgray :
Hey thanks, very awesome. I am actually going to try out this recipe!
from dieselengine :
I cook often and even *I* don't own a bay leaf. Were you maybe going to use these for a resin project instead? That would actually be pretty sweet...
from bunny828 :
Hey I was going to make soup too. Maybe you could make one that includes doritos?
from coldandgray :
I hope to see a good crock pot soup recipe listed here next time, because it actually is cold in Seattle.
from dieselengine :
Personally, I like the effect it is having on you...three entries in one day? It must be MY birthday, sans the burrito.
from coldandgray :
Happy un-birthday! I feel the same way about my office cleaning crew & am careful about what I throw in my own trash bin versus the communal one.
from bunny828 :
You are the woman. A lying woman with a free burrito. Go you.
from somuchsugar :
Oh my god, I think I used to read you on Diaryland a while back? But you were gone for a while... I think you are back!!? I am so glad; I have to catch up!(I just returned myself - somuchsugar!)
from mugwhump :
I was going to ask you about your creative jewellery. Cool. One suggestion - I do like the turquoise on the brown, but the smaller print below the title is hard to read. Can you make it larger, or just that line - a different colour. Otherwise - love it!! Really!!
from coldandgray :
just as awesome as ever, don't go away again, ok?
from sparkspark :
I'm sorry I didn't show up to your accident with a latte--it sounds like that department was covered, though, and I'm glad you're OK. XOXO Violert Yes, Violert. Apparently, I cannot even spell my own name, now. XOXO VioLET
from pattymelt :
Yeah, it sucks to be you. I have a secret you can try though. My work blocks everything too. But you can go to tools, Internet options ,connections and LAN options and if that box is checked? Uncheck it. Now I am IN! On My Space even! You have to reset it every time you reboot but, well, what else do you have to do, right? try it!
from bunny828 :
Sorry to hear you were in an accident. Were you ok?
from awittykitty :
my sister lives in South Florida. They just put the snow tires on. Can never be too careful.
from mugwhump :
I miss you. It's been 38 days!
from raven72d :
When will the new, improved model be open?
from dinahsoar :
Toasty! Toasty! So I am once again locked out! Okay, I know I've been neglectful and haven't bothered to visit Diaryland in eons ... but still, I AM your best resin bling customer! PLEASE grace me with the password!
from vintagegurl :
duuuuuuude!
from dieselengine :
wait, you said you were giving up food at the beginning of your entry and then at the end you said you were having Easy Mac? And you call yourself a quitter?!?!
from noaddedme :
Oh dear lord that entry with the lattes made me giggle! thanks for providing a well needed laugh!
from dieselengine :
I used to drink these Tim Horton's iced cappuccinos in the summer like they were water. In like a month I'd gained ten pounds and had no explanation for it...until I discovered they are like a million calories for one. Some days I was drinking two a day. Awesome. But I think with your diet, the wheat thins are cancelling out the calories in the coffee. Right?
from mugwhump :
I'm catching up - are YOU ok after your accident? No side effects? No whiplash? Just a fix up for the vehicle, and everything is tickety boo again.
from reader1209 :
"piss on it and let it dry and piss on it again" THAT was great. I laughed out loud with a snorty sort of laugh...at work...in a library...luckily there were only regulars here who already know I'm nuts. Have a great weekend!
from coldandgray :
Now what in the tits is this all about?
from sparkspark :
I so love when you update. It's better than Amway. Someone should give you a free Mercedes. XO Violet
from abittergirl :
Oh my god. you did NOT just diss Combos. Those things are the shit! I dunno, Toast. I might not be able to read your diary ever again, now that we have this issue coming in between us. :)
from coldandgray :
We had a lot of Amway products when I was a kid, because my folks could not say NO. Was Amway a Cult?
from polly-esther :
Hi Kimberly, I'm the one who bought that cool necklace from you the other day. (Jennifer in Las Vegas.) I love your stuff! I found you through Diesel. My diary is locked, but if you're interested, my username is callie and pw is cat. I can't wait to get the necklace!
from noaddedme :
At least the sand in those places means you're exfoliated well ...
from orangeslush :
what happene to the stewardess gig? OMG, my job is making me apply for a credit card for travel, and Im scared it will get declined and I will be super embaressed!!!!
from mugwhump :
A boring entry (which it wasn't) is better than no entry at all!
from sduckie :
I've heard tell that taking aspirin will prevent the peeling from happening, from an internal level. And good moisturizers that have already been mentioned, i.e. aloe & shea, will take care of the outside. Missed you! Duck
from coldandgray :
aloe vera
from sparkspark :
Shea butter! (This is my answer to the "how not to peel" question, not just a random shout-out.) Or cocoa butter. And lots of exfoliation, after the livid redness subsides and you can stand it. XOXO Violet
from mugwhump :
You've gone AWOL again. We miss you. Especially after 53 days...
from pattymelt :
hou YOU doin'? do anything fabulous lately?
from raven72d :
I just saw myself on your favourites list. Thanks much for adding me!
from dinahsoar :
Your dress is cool. And, by the way, your bracelets are NOT too big for kids. I can think of two kids wearing them as we speak and they fit just fine. Not ALL people suck.
from wickedcrazy :
That dress is almost exactly what I wore to a wedding a few weeks ago. the pattern was different but the black trim and cut is identical. I'm totally jealous that you made that.
from hbaybee :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homelessness Oh yeah, and we do reviews.
from mugwhump :
Love the dress. 10 months was well worth it. You look very cool, classy, and summery sweet.
from sparkspark :
I am thoroughly admiring your dressmaking skillz.
from pattymelt :
i love me some funyons. i haven't had those not real onions in a long time! don't you love how you have no skin on the roof of your mouth when you are done with the whole bag (i am assuming you are getting a "real" bad and not a shitty little lunch bag - so not even worth it.
from dinahsoar :
Hi, Toast! Sorry it's taken me so long to thank you for the great bracelets (and the necklace, too)! They are, as always, whimsical and wonderful! My new stepdaughter is at her friend's birthday party today and is really thrilled to be giving her the Shaman King bracelet. You rock, Toast! Your Biggest Fan
from coldandgray :
I liked your summary & that dress is great. I SO want to go skydiving. Have a funyon trip.
from mugwhump :
OK Girlfriend - it's been 27 days. We miss you.
from pattymelt :
i don't know why you were having so many problems. i just checked all three and they all worked for me. that would suck if nothing works and that's why nobody ever leaves me notes anymore. have you been drinking?
from pattymelt :
you're tagged! read me!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! I put the other check in the mail yesterday, so if you trust me not skip town you could send them together if it would be easier. I'm toying with ordering the Angel of New Orleans, too (they don't call me your best customer for nothin'!). Thanks for the enjoyment you are giving us!
from mugwhump :
This is not **SPAM** Sell more bracelets. That should take care of your financial woes. Are you trying to sell them on e-bay? Or am I blind? (Don't asnwer that)
from dieselengine :
First of all...are you serious about that Spam? I read it and could not believe it with my own eyes. Secondly, I used to work at a bagel store one summer when I was in college and it totally rocked. Free food ALL THE TIME. I think I bought one grocery (People Magazine) the entire summer. i also worked with cool people and got to meet cool people (aka customers). It was a great time, one of my favorite summers ever.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! I put the check in the mail for the Shaman King bracelet yesterday. I don't need to see the other one to know I want it (even though I agree that it is probably possessed)! I'll go ahead and send the other check today. Thanks so much! I'm happy to be your best customer! You rock!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! I might have known that as soon as I told you I couldn't access it, it would work! So I purchased it and will forward the check ASAP. Thanks! Is the Fruits Basket one a "go", too?
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast. I've been trying all afternoon to buy the Shaman King bracelet. First, my etsy account was not responding, so I opted for a new password. They emailed me one, but now neither the old or the new one allows me to purchase. How can I get the bracelet (also, are you making the Fruits Basket one, too?). I love the bracelet! This is frustrating.
from dinahsoar :
Oh, yay! Of course I'm interested! Just let me know the price together and I'll send you the check! Thanks so much! You're gonna make these anime enamored girls so happy!
from coldandgray :
Did you happen to notice in that film: My Life Without Me, during the sob story about the Siamese twins? The lady says: First the boy died, then the girl (or something like that). HELLO!? Siamese twins of the opposite sex is a genetic impossibility! Took me right out of the movie. I respect you for getting rid of your TV, but that is something I could never ever ever ever do.
from bunny828 :
I like your granny panty story on myspace. LOL! "Miss, your panties ..." LOL!
from dieselengine :
Onions for breakfast? You are a fucking rebel!
from bunny828 :
I sure miss reading your entries. I have to log on more frequently. So you are thinking of becoming a flight attendant? How many hours a month would you be working? I did some reading at http://www.collegegrad.com/careers/servi16.shtml and it sounds like you were offered the average. It also notes the average monthly flight and prep times so knowing how you like to avoid work I thought you might want to peek at this web site. You may need a laptop to kill time and do entries.
from sparkspark :
I am in awe of your interviewing skillz. Plus: fishnets at work is an excellent job perk, I think. I own several pairs, and I guess I could wear them here, but there's really no point, as I have no one to impress, and putting them on seems to require effort. XO Violet
from dinahsoar :
Hi again, Toast! I just got to reading your last few entries. I actually have a friend who has been a flight attendent forever (she wore those fifties inspired suits when they were "mod"). She got to travel everywhere and seemed to really like it. So, I don't know if it's for you ... do you like to fly? That might be the first question.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! Yeah, let me know about the bracelets. Shaman King and Fruits Basket. That would be great! Thanks.
from mimseylou :
Yo, so here's what I think you should do for shizzle....Since you think you would love the flight attendant bit, DO IT, but also have a little crafty online store on the side. That way you can do CRAFTY things while waiting for your phone calls. Would you have to be on call ALL the time, or specific days?
from sparkspark :
I'm Toasty: Fly me! That could work. Plus, on a selfish note, I would love to hear all about it, assuming you'd still share the details. I'm sure you're an ace with the soda cans and miniature bottles of vodka. How do you feel about crying children in small spaces? XO Violet
from mugwhump :
I never thought of a "Gilmore Girls" bracelet!!! How cool would that be? Have you made yourself a "Lost" bracelet? We have a number of Lost fans in our office. I think it's always up against a show that I've been watching longer. Your season finale must be coming up soon too.
from mugwhump :
I think you should go for it. You'd probably save on travel expenses(ie gas or bus), food, and possibly accomodations. Sounds like a good thing, even if its temporary. Better than a cubicle anyway.
from camera-girl :
Weird! I just looked through my "fanlist" and picked a random diary and looked at the profile; it was yours. And in the next second, I get a comment from you. :-) Thx for the comment, glad you liked my bangs. Go cut your own hair. You know, it grows back - that was my thoughts when I got bangs.
from brooklyntcb :
I think it's a cool idea. I thought about it for myself but then decided I like being able to buy food too much. Go with your gut. -Maria www.mariakelly.blogspot.com
from asking2much :
not that you really want advice from random strangers...but... A lot of my family members have/or are currently working for airlines. There are a lot of great perks, the best one being the free travel whenever you want. However, it might not be so much fun to go to Paris with no money. Keep in mind that the airlines are all going through a lot of trouble and are prone to random lay-offs, and unstable work. Working in a cubicle may suck, but at least you can count on how much money you'll have at the end of the week. Having said all that...know that i quit my better paying job to work at an animal shelter for 6.25/hr. Sometimes you gotta do what makes you happy. And i couldnt be happier.
from sduckie :
hmm... do you like serving people drinks and telling them repeatedly to stow their stuff? Are you willing to deal with folks that find it impossible to put their carry-ons into the overhead compartments lengthwise, not widthwise, no matter how many times they are told? All I notice in airports/airplanes is how much people try to get away with shit no matter how many times they hear the rules. If you can deal with that, go for it sister! It might be quite adventureous and fun. You could see lots of places and the potential for meeting people is good. But will you still be able to update??? That's VERY important!
from pattymelt :
my humble opinion? if you are young enouhg that you can pick up and do it and it's something you really want to do? DO IT!!!!! not to mention you get to travel and possibly meet LOADS of cute guys and stinky children. Tell me it's for Southwest. Please. Seriously, if you can swing it, do it.
from dinahsoar :
Toasty, don't TELL me you've locked your diary again! I'm one of your biggest fans! Please give me a password (I know you did before, but I forget). And Toast, do you want the gig for the two more bracelets? Let me know. It's "Shaman King" anime and "Fruits Basket" anime. If you don't, I understand and it's cool.
from mimseylou :
damn girl, I hope you're feeling better these days. Maybe you should get a job at a store that sells windows. That might be fun. OR - even better - a phone sex chat line girl, cuz then you could get paid to talk to people and laugh your ass off (or get off) all day!
from sduckie :
If my current job doesn't work out, or hey, you don't seem to like your job too much right now... perhaps we should start our own bitch rehab. It will be fun to think of all the "reprogramming" techniques, no?
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! Sorry you're feeling down. I, too, used to work as administrative assistant and hated it. Every morning on my way to work, I would be tempted to veer off and go somewhere else and have a "real" day. Instead, I would doggedly continue on to work, thinking "I will never have this day again". I admire you for having the courage to get out! If you're up for it, I would like to order two more bracelets. Natalia, for whom you made the "His & Her Circumstances one (which she wears EVERY day) would like a "Fruits Basket" bracelet (another anime) and she would like to get for her friend a "Shaman King" bracelet for her birthday (again, anime). There should be plenty of pictures if you Google them. Let me know if you'd like to. If not, I completely understand (knowing you're in the "administrative assistant low grade loss of energy funk"). Let me know whatchathink, 'kay? You'll feel better when you escape that cubicle!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! Sorry you're feeling down. I was an administrative assistant for many years and I know the feeling you're describing. I would be driving to work and I would be compelled to take the turn off and just have a real day instead. But, I would doggedly continue on to work, thinking "I will never have this day again". I did that for far too long. I admire your spunk for getting out. By the way, I have two more bracelets to order if you're up for it. The girl you made the "His & Her Circumstances" bracelet for now wants a "Fruits Basket" on (another anime) and her friend would like a "Shaman King" bracelet for her birthday (again, anime). Whatdoyathink? They really liked the groovy beads you used for my Mod Squad bracelet (still my favorite one yet!). Let me know.
from sduckie :
is your friend cheese-colored? it might be the same person...
from groupie94 :
I am so sorry you are feeling terrible... Don't be too sad, things change when you least expect them to... Change is a good thing ( I am learning that lately for myself ) you are such a strong, intelligent, talented person you will land on your feet in a place that makes you happy soon... While your taking a haitus feel free to email if you need someone to vent to... I am here.
from pattymelt :
move to dallas and i'll find you a job!
from sparkspark :
XOXO Here's wishing you a job where your stellar qualities are appreciated. And a window. XO Violet
from lrig :
[big hugs] i know what yr saying, im just sorry that yr feeling this way. heres to hoping it straightens itself out soon and that you start feeling better. xoxo lrig
from brooklyntcb :
Toast, Sorry to hear that your feeling down. Maria www.mariakelly.blogspot.com
from dieselengine :
Ah! That sucks about the van...that happened to me when I signed up for a small or compact car and they gave me a fully pimped out Lincoln Continental Sedan. It was nice and all, but I am not used to driving a boat. Have fun in Chicago!
from mimseylou :
um, how come I wasn't informed that you were coming to chicago today? wtf?
from janetplnetoc :
Happy Birthday! It's always good to have a diaryland birthday twin!
from groupie94 :
Mail is always a good thing... you'll be getting a pkg soon (I sent it a week ago.. )
from mugwhump :
Can you send me a case of that FUZE stuff. Sounds like I could use it.
from ilovemayo :
i love your journal, it kept me totally entertained (and awake!) during work today.
from mugwhump :
I don't know you person (but I'd like too), and I read every entry when you write them. Does that qualify me to drop by and say "hi"? :-)
from mimseylou :
And, that was really butch of you. Nice!
from mimseylou :
Well, low credit score or not, I like you A LOT better than most of the crack whores I know. Fer serious.
from sparkspark :
You are totally awesome--your window-fixing skills have elevated you to a new level.
from dinahsoar :
I LOVE my Mod Squad bracelet! It is my FAVORITE Toastware yet! I tried to leave feedback on the etsy site, but I don't know if it worked (it ended up in "Conversations" - it wouldn't seem to let me do feedback). What I said was that it is the grooviest bracelet EVER - Peace, Love & Resin. If the feedback didn't register, please retrain me - I'm so computer blond!
from virginlux :
The mosiac is beautiful! And meow........I love cats! What are you going to Chicago for?
from awittykitty :
I like the picture of your cat approaching your mosaic. It reminds me of my cat when it approaches my artwork. It always looks like its going to flip up in the air backwards in abject fear.
from dinahsoar :
Yay! You are toast-tacular! Thanks!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! I love the new haircut! Cat's ass? Not so much. The coat is great, too. Hey, I don't know if you realize it, but you still haven't cashed my check. I mean ... it doesn't matter to me except that I think it is some kind of venial sin to wear a bracelet that hasn't been paid for (hint. hint. - i.e. Claire's). Didja LOSE the check? I mean, you have such an honest face, I'd totally believe you and send you another. Have fun in Chicago (with your new haircut, you'll be able to eat that legendary wind for breakfast)! When you get back, maybe Mod Squad?
from sparkspark :
The mural, she is gorgeous. The cat's ass, similarly so, although less artful. Some day, perhaps you will combine the two elements and stun us all. I can only hope. XO Violet
from mimseylou :
Aww thanks Toast! You weren't at a Ramada Inn that was really a co-op right out of a psycho killer movie were you? Cuz if you were, we were totally at the same place! And - my grandma probably not only cut you off but weaved into your lane so as to be mere millimeters away from your drivers side door. When I was in the passenger seat and she did that to a semi, I nearly shit my pants but she told me that MY depth perception is screwy because I'm in the passenger seat and it only APPEARS more close. Not sure about that logic but I do love that woman.
from mimseylou :
THAT is amazing. I might just have to add her as one of my friends on myspace...if she hasn't already randomly added me and I don't know it yet.
from sparkspark :
Exactly. "Dear Stupid Whore," or alternately, "Dearest Cheap Bitch." Like that. I am not totally inflexible.
from raven72d :
Hmmm... handcuffs. Aren't white silk scarves more versatile?
from sparkspark :
I read DeAnna's book, "From Mormon to Wicca in Six Easy Steps" and it changed my life AND my wardrobe. But oddly, not my hair-do.
from dieselengine :
Oh the good old days. DeAnna sounds like quite a hoot. And why don't you add me on your myspace? Evildilara.
from brooklyntcb :
you always make me laugh...looovveee itttt! -Maria www.mariakelly.blogspot.com
from noaddedme :
gee, that makes me want to look up people on myspace! I wonder who of my old classmates ended up in a similar high class career?!
from sduckie :
toast, I say go with the pillows! actually when I was reading about you getting rid of your couch and chair I thought, "she should just fill that room with pillows, like a big opium den." and then a few lines later you wrote about pillows. it was meant to be! Love, Duck
from sparkspark :
You are the ideal person to have flying squirrel(s) as pets. They like to live in colonies, or families, or something, so there'd always be many of them to entertain you. Plus, they are so ridiculously cute, you would want to cry from sheer joy.
from mugwhump :
I was so relieved when I scrolled to the bottom to see the "real" picture of you, and that is wasn't the one just before that. What a cutie - you, not the dog, but then again that dog (butt and all) is cute too.
from sparkspark :
Sassy haircut--very cute. Also, that coat rocks! I will say some ...magical spells (I guess) that you find cheap tickets to Chicago.
from dieselengine :
Southwest always has cheap flights to Chicago. Go directly to their site and book it through them. I get flights there for $39 each way (I know I live closer and all...but still I am sure you can find a good deal). I love the coat. Love love love!
from noaddedme :
One of my friends once treated me to a "professional" wrap. Omigod that was the WORST thing in the world. I'd never had a claustraphobic moment until then. I made them unwrap me. Due to my mental melt down (and being propped against a wall basically) they told me I didn't get the "full results" I would have normally. My skin was really soft, but I sure was still fat as hell and stayed that way!
from mugwhump :
If that's you in that wrap thingy - honey - you have a great shape and ya shouldn't go futzin with it.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! I know! I know! I'm slackin' off on my entries. Thanks for noticing & missing me! I would LOVE to leave positive feedback on your bling site. In fact, I've tried to do it. I'm so computer dumb, that I couldn't figure it out. All I could find is "contact the seller", which is your email. Let me know how and I'll be happy to sing your praises! By the way, will anyone be wearing you to the Academy Awards?
from dieselengine :
I did a body wrap once with a friend. We went to this salon place and after we were wrapped and put into our rubber suits, they had us sit in these chaise lounge type lawn chairs. The lady said she would be back in 45 minutes and there are magazines to read, etc. I leaned over to get a magazine and rolled off my lawn chair onto the floor and COULD NOT GET BACK UP because the wraps were so tight. I was on the floor for 45 minutes before she came back to check on us. My friend? She pissed in her body wrap because she was laughing at me so hard for so long. Imagine the lady who had to take off her wraps...gag.
from dinahsoar :
You can make anything interesting and funny! But Toast, why haven't you cashed my check yet (the one for the His & Hers bracelet - which my fiance's daughter LOVES, WEARS ALL THE TIME & has her friend SO envious, they'll probably be placing their orders soon)? Have you thought at all about my "Mod Squad" bracelet idea (the original cast, of course)? Your photos of the sunset at the beach are beautiful! Thanks!
from dieselengine :
That is a damn good downward dog if I do say so myself.
from mugwhump :
My morning Toast - where have you gone. Oh wait! I think you told us already. I'm just letting you know that I've missed you.
from dinahsoar :
I love the new set-up at your store. Very funny line about the purpose of jewelry. Is resin addictive? No, really. Because I definitely want the Mod Squad one and I'm already thinking of other ideas. How 'bout some kind of hippie theme? I don't know. Tie dye. Flowers. Something rock and roll. Peace sign. What do ya think? So ... is there something in resin? I'm just saying.
from sparkspark :
McGyver avoided problems like that by wearing his purse cross-wise over one shoulder, like a crossing-guard.
from dinahsoar :
My pleasure! Didja get the check for the His & Hers bracelet? Natalia (my fiance's daughter) is champing at the bit to see her new bracelet. Thanks for your creativity and your incredible imagination. I can't tell you how much your diary entries lighten up my days. You are a very special person.
from sduckie :
toast, you are a saint. i would never scrub someone else's dog's ass. never. and when my roommate came home i might just squirt her with the hose and demand my security deposit back. but hey, you are a better person than me. love, duck
from groupie94 :
just to let you know dog shit and baby poo is not the same... and it is true that when you have kids things change... so many more rewards with the kiddies... dogs/cats are nothing but a pain in the ass ( no pun intended ) at least with kids you get snuggles and "I love you's" - I'm so not waiting for them to become teenages then the whole dog-kid thing will even out the first time the kid says "fuck you MOM" - also my lil angel daughter gave the kittens whiskers a trim... nice eh...?
from dinahsoar :
Welcome home, Miss Potty Mouth. I enjoyed today's entry. My mom has a saying for trips such as that. It is "better you than me". Didja get a chance to think about the Mod Squad bracelet (I'm completely hooked on resin bling ... are you sure there's not something addictive in the resin? like, well ... resin?)!
from sparkspark :
That sounds like a GREAT road trip. I am sorry I missed it! (I'm trying to make it sound like I was invited, and hence popular.) I appreciate the detail wherein Esther makes it all the way across the bridge and THEN gets out of the car. Because, Dude! How many more seven-mile bridges can there be up ahead?
from groupie94 :
Glad you made it back unscathed (mostly) Also... Ryan woke me up by dangling a PURTY bracelet over my noggin this afternoon... Thankyouthankyouthankyou !!!! Evie is jealous ! And no it wasn't toxic - I work for a painting co. brething fumes is second nature... Your goodies will be sent out the end of the week...!
from dinahsoar :
Hi, Toast! Hey, here's a new idea for a custom bracelet (if you choose to accept this mission). How 'bout the Mod Squad bracelet? The ORIGINAL Mod Squad, of course - Peggy Lipton et al. What do ya think? Also, I almost never read those "tag" question answering things, but I HAD to read yours 'cuz I knew it would be funny. We share a passion for spice! I'll have to try those 7-11 taquito things. Let me know about the bracelet, kay?
from salazabr :
lol! Those are four of my favorite TV shows too! You forgot Battlestar Galactica though. ;)
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! I so enjoyed your photo gallery. I also loved your insights about best friends. I am about to go for dinner with my best friend (since age 13). Cecil is great! And Dulcie! I loved Opal and Max. And, of course, little Toast may be confused but she has all the early markings of a jewelry designer (and great writer). Who is that standing to her left with the Marcia Brady wings? P.S. I mailed the check yesterday & am excited about presenting the bracelet to my fiance's daughter!
from groupie94 :
SO LOOOVVEEE the family pictures... way cool love old things like that... I have a favorite family pic of my grandmother ( whom Evie is named ) and my grandpa's wedding in 1925... Have a safe and fun trip...!!!
from dieselengine :
I love the family pics, especially the one with your great, great uncle Johnny in his chaps. I only have one photo from the 30's and it is OF MY DAD because he would be super-old if he were alive today.
from mugwhump :
I absolutely LOVE looking at old photos. Even if they aren't my family. You got some serious "cute" in those gene's. Makes me want to rush home and burn my photos. But I won't. Thanks for sharing. :-)
from dinahsoar :
Hi, Toast! Do I love it? Do I LOVE IT? Ummmm ... YEAH! I LOVE IT! And my fiance's daughter is going to LOVE it EVEN MORE! I'm sending the check out today. Same address? I know you had mentioned possibly moving, so I want to be sure. Could you email it to me, just in case? Can't wait to present her with her very own His & Her Circumstances bracelet! You so totally rock!
from mugwhump :
Sweet - you're a jeweler to the stars now!
from sparkspark :
Very swanky--I look forward to your Rodeo Drive boutique.
from salazabr :
lol! That is SO COOL!!
from dieselengine :
That? Is fucking awesome. You are a jewelry designer to the stars now...SWEET!
from virginlux :
Oh no she didn't. Drop her like a 311 cd. xxx
from groupie94 :
Ditto on the laziness factor ... Your scarf is all finished... ! I will be sending it out tomorrow ( hopefully ) and your friend Selena is indeed a dumbass but I've had my share of run ins with the MSP - for stoopid reasons as well ... none while i was dripping wet tho... lucky you .
from xevilsuziex :
Holy Christ on a stick! 23 times...We're crossing into psycho ex-boyfriend territory here...I'd consider a restraining order!
from dieselengine :
Oh. My. God. Selena...oh Selena. I really don't know what to say except you have some rare friends. Rare indeed.
from sparkspark :
You should make a mosaic plaque of a modest size--say four feet by ten feet, that reads, "I WASN'T DEAD, I WAS BLOWING YOU OFF" and present it to Selena on your next possible opportunity. Maybe include some images that will represent the event pictorially, like a sheriff's badge, a loofah, and a Beggin' Strip. Oh, and a dumbass. Make sure to include that one.
from bunny828 :
Your friend just wanted to give you a chance to show off your undies, since you have that big collection and all. I didn't know the cops could break into your home without a major reason. Did you and your friend have a misunderstanding (ie: those no so definate plans were definate in her mind?) I'm glad that has never happened to me. It would have scared me to death. BTW: You have a dog?
from groupie94 :
The walk... 4 hrs outside here guarantees the loss of limb and possibly life (according to frostbite and what-not) at least you had sand and waves and warmth - Lake effect snow and cabin fever suck balls
from sunshine0221 :
Well brown whore hair beats bright orange I would blow you for 5 bucks whore hair. Just sayin'.
from virginlux :
Hey Vixen! I'm back (sort of). Seems like a lot has changed. What the hell happened to all the ana diaryrings? I bet the Fox News execs did an expose and gave the site bad publicity or something, GRRR. Hope you're doing well! XOXO
from captainron :
Don't be teasing us with new underwear stories and then not be posting pictures :-) Happy Friday...
from mimseylou :
I am no stranger to emotional diarrhea, it exists, ooooh does it.
from lrig :
how can you have a broken heart and still be so hilarious? i have much to learn from you. so, so much.
from dieselengine :
Do you mean hamsters in your underpants make you happy or just hamsters in general? Or hamsters on the underpants?
from heidiann :
You have managed to make me happier than even the cupcakes last week did. I have a thank you letter for you but the receipt is missing an apartment number so if you email it to me, I can send it to you. Thank you so so so so so much!!!!!
from dinahsoar :
Hi again, Toast.Wow! That was quick (your job MUST be boring)! I was just playing around with Google & I think the best way to get pictures in to Google His & Her Circumstances pictures (no duh, huh?). The main characters are "Yukino Miyazawa" and Somethingorother "Arima", her boyfriend. There are several cute auxiliary characters and a really cute dog named "pero pero". I was able to find quite a few pictures. She would be thrilled if you could do that! Thanks again!
from dinahsoar :
Hi, Toast! My boyfriend's 12 year old daughter loves an anime series called "His and Her Circumstances". I was wondering if you could design a bracelet featuring the characters - I know they're on the internet - if you Google the name of the series. Do you think that's a possibility? She loved my Gilmore Girls bracelet, so I KNOW she would love this! Let me know. Again, thanks so much for my bracelets! You rock, Toast!!
from pattymelt :
have i told you lately that i love you?
from dinahsoar :
Toasty, you so COMPLETELY rock! I just came home to find my new Toastware. I LOVE the Gilmore Girls bracelet (I will be the ENVY of all my prolonged adolescent friends). And I was so touched and surprised that you were able to find the Father Knows Best characters and to give me a bonus bracelet. As that was my favorite show as a kid, you don't know what that means to me! And the extra Gilmore piece will make a great gift for one of my therapy clients, who has a crush on Lorelei. Not only am I one of your most loyal customers, but I'm soon to be a repeat customer. Thanks again!
from dinahsoar :
I am in a trance. Those eyes. Those eyes. Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
from dieselengine :
Does Siamese cat ever open his eyes? I know he is Siamese and all...but the eyes. The eyes, can they open?
from dinahsoar :
Humility is a virtue apparently Siamese Cat has mastered.
from bunny828 :
Oh Oh you have to try a paper bag. I think they are even cheaper than cardboard and my cats love 'em.
from pattymelt :
you think you are so weird but you really are not! i talk to my cat ALL the time. AND she talks back! yes! tells me all about how she does nothing but lay around all fucking day, looks out the window at some birds maybe. talks to sammy the dog next door thru the wall. oh, to be a cat!
from dinahsoar :
How redundent is this? I am laughing out loud! Your comment about Kool-aid for the little crack monkeys ... well, it cracked me up (don't you LOVE double entendres?). You rock, Toast! Cheese to you!
from captainron :
Don't so it!!! Target is evil... Good luck on the warm up clothes though and thanks for stopping by. Ron
from mimseylou :
oh holy shitballs, I've been tagged right when I was about to get work done!
from brooklyntcb :
Hey- I emailed you with the tag...I'm at brooklyntcb-but since I started the blog I don't really update at DL as of late.
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! I really like the new necklace you showed today, but couldn't find it on the Gorilla link - the shell one that says "Once Upon A Time". Is that one for sale?
from dinahsoar :
For some reason, your phrasing leaves me laughing out loud at my desk. That was so beyond funny - the cheese tray being called the Tray of Cheese. Somehow you always get me. Even though I have a sense of your style, somehow it is always unexpected (and I rarely laugh out loud). I love your pea green shoes. High heeled mary janes are the best! Add black tights and you've got a party. By the way, what was that in the middle of the meat tray? What that the cheese dip? Also enjoyed your recipes.
from mimseylou :
wow, you really should put a warning on here for those of us who are on weight watchers and can't help but salivate at the thought of a cream cheese dip.
from pattymelt :
holy crap! those are a couple of trays! i am partial to the cheezy one since i LOVE cheese - it does a body good. and the shoes? you are my hero!
from dieselengine :
I love the shoes. And the dips? You didn't go into detail about them. Like what kinds of dips did you make?
from dinahsoar :
Miami! Wow! How 'bout a Miami Vice bracelet? I'm SO looking forward to my Gilmore Girls!
from lrig :
congratulations on yr impending move to miami! [you were very fond of 'waaaay' in this diaryland episode. it was fun!]
from dieselengine :
Uhm I totally know what the Golden Girls song is and anybody who says they don't are liars. ALL LIARS!! Miami is nice and I'll say it thrice (remember, that is the line they changed because it sounded stupid but I actually like "thrice" better than "twice") anyway, congrats on moving to Miami. I am going to crochet you a hot pink tube top so you will blend in with everybody else. Woo!
from sparkspark :
I *WISH* I KNEW THAT SONG FROM "GOLDEN GIRLS"__I CAN"T GET MY KEYBOARD TO STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPITALS> HUH> ANNOYING> ANYWAY< congratulations (there we go) on your impending move to South Beach. You're just one step closer to living like my personal hero and style idol Bea Arthur.
from pattymelt :
i can't believe you didn't post pictures of your new shoes! dammit! i want some new shoes too! i should be a hog tho. i did get a new pair of skims from target this weekend. balck and white with a little skull & crossbones thingy on the mary jane strap thing. too fucking cute! post pics!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! I KNEW you would totally rock as a hostess! I can't wait for the Gilmore Girls bracelet (I'm sending the check today - what if it doesn't arrive by the 20th as Gorilla Dust indicated? Since I'm a repeat customer, will the gorilla cut me some slack? I'm mailing it at the post office, so hopefully it will be a non-issue). Thanks for your comments about my story. And of course I will never abandon Diaryland. Those lime green mary-janes got me thinking - how 'bout a mod shoe bling?
from noaddedme :
may I have the combination to your lock too? thanks! [email protected]
from sduckie :
hi toast, can you send me your password? love, duck
from pattymelt :
get this - mikeygal & i watched the classic "a night in heaven" with christopher atkins yesterday and s chick in it was wearing spandex pants. mikeygal had never seen these. highwaisted, shiny, and tighter than spit. THAT'S what you need to go with the shoes. i am going to look on ebay. maybe i'll be lita ford for halloween this year!
from dinahsoar :
I don't do smalltalk either (although Gilmore Girls provides such a good template - Mad TV called it "chatterlicious"). You are without a doubt one of the most fascinating and amusing people I almost know. You'll do fine (with or without Paxil/drink/etc). When the balloons have popped & the carpet is singed and the lipstick stained glasses are lying broken in the sink (and you have a moment to respond), please let me know where to send the check - did I mention I MUST HAVE THE BRACELET???)! Personally, I believe you would make the most amazing hostess - remember, it's all in your mind (and I'm a therapist, kay?)!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast. Here's some more brainstorms ... how 'bout a Father Knows Best bracelet (Mother, Father, Bud, Kitten & Princess). Or, better still ... Lassie (with the ORIGINAL kid - Tommy Rettig & June Lockhart as Mom, Gramps and, of course, the collie). Or ... I think you mentioned the Donna Reed Show is today's entry ... the possibilities are endless. Please email me so I can get my check to you in time for the Gilmore bracelet. Thanks!
from dinahsoar :
Okay, Toast! I think it is accomplished (I emailed you for the address to send my check). Can't wait!
from dinahsoar :
Toast, I was just catching up on the entries I'd missed, when I thought I'd check out the Resin Bling. I MUST HAVE the Gilmore Girls bracelet!!!!!!!! Wasn't it MY idea (unless I hallucinated that - quite possible)? I'm trying to order & I registered with the co., but haven't gotten my confirmation yet on my email. I MUST HAVE IT! I'll keep trying!
from pattymelt :
yeah, most of my fas are locked or gone or moved. except you and 1 or two others. i figure, if someone i know reads my diary and i didn't tell them about it? they are fare game. if they don't like what they read? fuck them. it's not like i use real names or talk about work (much). mostly jsut stupid drivil about TV and hot famous guys i will never sleep with. so there. i am hurt i did nto get an invite to the suprise party...oh, wait, is it a party for me? well, crpa. i ruined it. dammit!
from sduckie :
oh, are you SURE you won't take your bra off??? Not even if there's... DIP????
from sparkspark :
Hi, Ms. Toast... perhaps you are taking a break. I miss you. XO Vio
from groupie94 :
Kimberly - How kind of you to finish my bracelet - Hold it for a while tho will ya ??? So I can get the funds together...? And BTW it was nice to be missed...!
from dieselengine :
I love the new jewelry and the concept of the chinese fortune bracelet is very crafty indeed. Good luck with the hamster.
from mimseylou :
well if it makes you feel any better, your diary is my anti-sad-pill. Even stepping on the scale for weight watchers this morning didn't make me laugh as much as your entry has.
from sduckie :
toast, you are brilliant. this entry made my day. and I am VERY impressed at your knowledge of made-for-TV movies... damn!
from bunny828 :
Do you write for a living? I really think you should, you are funny!
from mimseylou :
I vowed to only watch made for tv movies that star Meredith Baxter Berny (eventhough I can't spell her last name) and Angeler from Who's the Boss. Lucky for me, they do plenty of them.
from sduckie :
crapsicle, haha!
from mugwhump :
This morning I woke up to the "Best Use Of Christmas Ribbon" to match your "Best Use of Lawn Trimmings". What's with our cats? Don't they know that stuff tastes bad??? And it's gonna come up!!
from pattymelt :
LOTR is my FAVORITE episode of south park! i have only seen it a couple of times - they need to rerun it, dammit. i think they are keeping andre on cause he is a giant emotional pussy man. you know, gay entertainment. got to keep those stereotypes alive! yeah, december sucks for episode TV.
from dieselengine :
Word, she has a MySpace account too. My co-worker and I have been reading it aloud for the last half-hour. www.myspace.com/model4christ
from mugwhump :
If you have an obsession with Hamsters you should check out "Maktaaq" over on Blogspot. She writes regularly about Hamsters and their greater value!
from dinahsoar :
So, Toast. I'm lovin' the resin bling you are showing, but I don't use credit cards on the internet. If I pay by check, I would send it to you at your email or them (I'm thinkin' them). I was about to order the Very Brady and then noticed I was too late. I'm interested in the gummi bears. I'm also hoping for a Gilmore Girls (with all the supporting cast, of course - Suky, Luke, Emily, Richard & maybe Babbette - are you a fan?). Sorry I didn't get my order in in time for Christmas, but I can still possibly start out the New Year right in Toast's treasures.
from dieselengine :
My co-worker's mom buys her cat stuff like ALL THE TIME. She has a freaking painting in her living room of this huge cat. Her mom bought it for her...I bet you two could have a swap meet. That would be awesome.
from sparkspark :
T-shirt bearing an image of a cat: OK. Underpants bearing an image of a cat: totally different message. But, woo-hoo! Christmas presents! Last year, my mother gave me a velour evening gown, two sizes too big, with a note saying, "You'll probably have to take this in a bit." Yeah, take it in TO THE DUMPSTER.
from mugwhump :
Your mom sounds exactly like my mom. And it's cats too. I know! You send all the suff you don't like from your mom to my mom, and I'll send all the stuff to your mom that my mom sent me!!
from mimseylou :
wow. that's really all I can say. did you ever send your mom a friends and family coupon from dullard's? That may have been your first problem. Those roadside assistant kits are at least practical, that's what my aunt and uncle gave me for my birthday one year. The best part: I don't have my own car.
from dieselengine :
Rock on with the etsy site. And yes, I do expect 90% commission off every piece you sell.
from mugwhump :
You have spawned a new industry for yourself. Fantastic!!! I'm in particular love with the Brady Bunch.
from mugwhump :
I had a green suede skirt once. I loved it and looked hot in it. However, I did make the dumb-ass move of wearing it with green tights. I looked like the mini-me to the Jolly Green Giant. It was the 80's - what can I say?
from pattymelt :
i love it when you reference the best show EVER - MSCL! whoot! i still have not seen anyone fall under a moving vehicle but OMG, i saw "passion of the christ - the musical" last night and am scared for life!
from groupie94 :
How kind of you to fuel my gilmore obsession... I'm not to picky on pictures... My only request would be to make it a little bigger ( like an 8" or 8.5" I have big wrists and like things roomy) - As for the craft trade, I can't believe you'd want any of the crap I make... No rush let me know what you come up with and what you'd want for it.. ok...? Thanks !
from mugwhump :
Much like Crime doesn't pay, neither does unemployment. But I hear ya girl!! There's nothing like not checking into a clock everyday! More time for modge-podge and blogging!
from mimseylou :
modge podge is addictive. Like I said, if I could wipe that stuff on top of CG while she was on top of me I probably would. I have another fun craft project in mind for the holidays that I am SOOOOO excited about. More details later : )
from groupie94 :
Yay for the new job...!!! I want a Gilmore Girls bracelet... Any possible way you might be able to make one..? let me know ...
from groupie94 :
Yay for the new job...!!! I want a Gilmore Girls bracelet... Any possible way you might be able to make one..? let me know ...
from mimseylou :
congrats on the new job that has animal life and cool new safety glasses. that's pretty pimp.
from brooklyntcb :
You make me laugh...I love the way that you tell stories...
from pattymelt :
how exciting for you! (ants and all) retail sucks and to be able to say FU right as christmas ramps up? totally excellent! get some potpourri raid for those ants. thanks for the note too.
from dieselengine :
Toast, for real you should get an etsy site. It took awhile for me to get some stuff sold because people can be lame, but in one day I made four sales. And I get approximately 731 compliments per day on my bracelet. You could sell these babies for $15 a pop and make a slew of cash. If you had all $1 bills of that cash and put it in a pile on your bed, you coulud roll around in it, then neatly stack it, go to the 7-11 and buy a box of triscuits and a 12 pack of Diet Coke. Notice I said 12-pack and not 6-pack because that is how much money you will be making. Really.
from mugwhump :
Thanks for your affirming note. I appreciate the encouragement! And ... your jewelry is absolutely gorgeous!!! Forget a 'job' you hate, make those bling-blings for a living!! If I wasn't poverty striken - I'd buy them up!! You go Girl!!!
from mimseylou :
buahahaha, I'm totally reading your entry AND watching Making the Band (that's right, I'm totally good at doing two things at once...except for thinking of the word that means (AH!!!!) multi-tasking..I need to lay off the drugs)
from dinahsoar :
Toast, I gotta tell you ... your entries are hysterical but also excruciating. You are SUCH a talented writer and amazing observor of life with the funniest spin I've EVER read. Surely (I know, don't call you Shirley) there has to be a place where your true talents could shine (as opposed to Dullard's or insurance/real estate companies, etc.). I wish I knew where to direct you. Have you ever submitted your writing? You are a genius. I'm just saying.
from pattymelt :
are teenagers getting more retarded? who leaves the cigarettes and takes the lipgloss? (and i love me some sparkly lipgloss) they probably then went and spent your $10 ON cigarettes! happy holidays!
from sduckie :
oh toast, i just love you. good luck. :)
from bunny828 :
Alrighty then. I hope your week gets better, your car too.
from dinahsoar :
I love your story. Your questions to yourself at the end were so poignant. I think that, if you were to share this very story with him, it would answer all those questions. He would for sure know how loved he is and he would be so proud that you have been treasuring all these memories all these years. I am so touched, I can't even imagine how touched he would be.
from sparkspark :
Speaking solely as a bystander, I'll guess that your grandfather already understands how remarkable you are, and how much you love him. You are so fortunate to have that relationship.
from groupie94 :
I am so glad I don't have the problem of workplace freaks in the dating scene - yea i'm married so i guess that helps, probably aslo the fact that I work in the family bisiness with my two older brothers and my husband...! hee... you are a silly silly girl...I say be a player where the free dinners are involved, but make sure it is worth it - meaning just say no to bk tacohell and mcD's ~ those nights anyway !
from sparkspark :
Thanks--he did have a great general, overall shape. Kind of like a hot dog. A hot dog with a heart of gold. Well, a hot dog wearing a fur coat, but still with a gold heart.
from mugwhump :
Don't give in just because there is 'free food' involved. I'm huge on going anywhere for 'free food', but these guys might actually get to thinking that you like them. Is that possible? There's no such thing as a 'free lunch'. Be careful out there.
from brooklyntcb :
When I worked at Bloomingdales last holiday season one of the women-who was a nurse in her other life, chose the job to find a husband.
from dinahsoar :
First, let me say that that guy in way deserves you (even though I understand that he was geographically desirable - I mean, 25 feet is a consideration). But you can do much, much better. Not so much, you say? I beg to differ, Toast. Maybe you should start visualizing something better for yourself (that dead Smurfette is maybe not so uplifting). You should be getting paid to write. You are hilarious in a really literate and sophisticated way. Also, I started reading your blog. Funny, yes ... but why is everyone so suddenly disloyal to Diaryland? I still think it's a cool place to live! By the way, are you still crankin' out the resin bling? If so, I'd like to place my Christmas order.
from pattymelt :
you are a hoot. your first and only mistake? forgetting that guys suck balls.
from mimseylou :
holy shitballs, you got dooced?? Damn! I think that's probably why Andrew came up with the new handy dandy emailing your entries thingy. That's how I'm protecting my job right now.
from princessreva :
Just found you! Wanted to let you know that's it's a coool thing to be fired becuase of your blog! see: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dooced it's the in thing - you're urban slang!!
from pattymelt :
what? your diary is locked? WTF?????
from dinahsoar :
Thanks for your note of support, Toast. You always bring me a smile.
from heidiann :
Fuckers!!!!!! But oh how I relate!
from sparkspark :
Hey, there--there's room on the boat for you, if you want to come sail around and drink a lot of rum. That's what I'll be doing, anyway, so the more, the merrier. Here's wishing you brighter days. XO Vio
from brooklyntcb :
Sorry to hear about your news : (
from brooklyntcb :
I need toast too! : (
from abittergirl :
oh no! oh no! i can't get in! help! i need toast!
from sduckie :
oh no!!! I'm so sorry toast! that SUCKsss..... sending you a hug... and the wish that you'll move onto something better!
from dandlioneyes :
will delete your info from my notes. so sorry about the news! feel free to vent, here for ya.
from dandlioneyes :
now if i could just learn to spell myself. would love to keep reading, but you don't have to share the psswd if you don't want to. *hugs*
from mrs-roboto :
ahh, bummer. well now at least you are free to become Katie Holmes au pair.
from evildilara :
fffffffffffuck. That sucks. Sorry to hear about that. Man, you even took a PAY CUT to go there. What turds. I hope you find a winning lottery ticket today. And I mean like the MegaBalls or something, not just the regular Flordia Lottery.
from dandlioneyes :
i totally loved before sunset (better than before sunrise, i agree). their interaction was so natural and so perfect. just loved it! (btw, check the spelling on my name, not that i'm posting anything scintillating or hilarious or anything, but still). take care!
from neko-carre :
P.S. You wrote a paper about "Joe vs the Volcano" - one of my most favorite movies, as well as being one of the most misunderstood?? That's truly wonderful! If you still have it around, you should totally post it (or email it to me), I'd love to read it!! I could talk "JVTV" all day. :-)
from dandlioneyes :
they got the mustard out (they got the mu-stard ouuuuttttttt!). long live joss whedon.
from dandlioneyes :
found your diary through evildilara, and must say, i'm hooked. having owned (been owned) by a siamese cat a few years ago, i can honestly say i know what you go through. will keep on reading! best, dandlioneyes
from sparkspark :
Oh, *I* know what you mean, Miss Toast, and you were born on THE DAY OF INITIATIVE. Details to follow in e-mail.
from salazabr :
I'm totally with you on the dolphins. They already breather air, once they get a hang of the amphibious thing and evolve opposable thumbs it's all over for us.
from groupie94 :
So who says owning a pet doesn't help to prepare you for being a parent... sounds like a typical day with Evie...It would be much more cooler if she had a tail though...!
from sparkspark :
I have, actually, tried to clean paint from a cat's paws. Oh, the mutual resentment. And, initially, I read you last sentence as a desire to trade Siamese Kat in for a HAMMER. I'll admit, my initial thought was, "Yeah, that's probably a good trade." I'm sorry for my lack of charity. I didn't mean it.
from groupie94 :
Those patches do nothing... Although I personally have never tried them, But Ryan has and he said all they did was give him wicked intensely vivid nightmares - although the PCP he took right before bed might have had something to do with that... *kidding* - Seriously though, that scene with the "patch belt" was played out in the newest gilmore girls episode last night silly girl. Ryan also worked with a lady who used to put the patch on, chew the nicotine gum and then smoke anyway... That can't be good for a person. I am a night smoker, I can not have 1 cig all day and then as soon as I am home and the sun goes down I continually light up I know I am an odd bird... I wish you Good luck quitting tho, keep us all informed.
from sparkspark :
Come on, photograph some hookers for us! You can always pretend you were photographing like, the sign for the used record store, or wherever they're hanging around. Plus, have you seen the shoes them chicks wear? You can totally outrun them if they take offense.
from jumblygiant :
I love it when people at work think I'm slightly retarded. I'm all about living up to low expectations.
from groupie94 :
I'm all about the lifetime and WE movies... How about that one with Kellie Martin and Tori Spelling ..." a friend to die for"... Sadly tho I will more than likely be watching "the land before time part XIIV - ( The one where they all go extinct finally ! ) or some such fluff with Evie. Spencer started watching "Merlin" on the SciFi channel last night and I told him I'd rent it for him this weekend cuz he had to go to bed so he could get up for school... Talked to Ryan afterward and evidently it is a 10 HOUR Miniseries... ummm it would keep him out of my hair this weekend... ( Yes, more proof I am a terrible mommy...!!! )
from sduckie :
your roach kinda looks like plankton from spongebob, but maybe i am watching too many cartoons. yes, just let your boss think you're not too bright... then she'll expect less. nothing's better than that in a job....!
from dinahsoar :
Roachzilla! I'm impressed. As ever, the Toast rocks!
from sparkspark :
You are going to be able to get away with so much if she thinks you're special. You can sit and sing to yourself for hours, and she'll be afraid to stop you, for fear of legal repercussions. Work it, Toast.
from groupie94 :
totally rethinking my dream of someday wanting to live in FL. uhhh... Lets see Roaches even though I have never seen one up close in person stil squick me out, and the bees good lord the bees... what's next LOCUSTS...? I bet if you listened really hard you would hear a satanic voice growling "Gettt Outtt ...!!! " Have a good weekend !
from dinahsoar :
Oh, Toasty! I'll admit I haven't been reading anyone regularly this week for various reasons. Tonight, I decided to catch up and I am laughing maniacally and remembering why it was you you you that drew me to Diaryland in the first place. Your pictures were hysterical. I especially loved the "repeat until you die", referring to Dillard's. And who else would count the bees to insure accuracy? Only you! Berniece the Toilet! Frog on hip! Your cast of characters is inspired! You are a genius and yes, I would like one of the dashboard Toasties please! Looking forward to the cockroach snuff pic. Your fan forever, Dinah!
from groupie94 :
If I could have I would have bought you lunch today... olive garden..? You and Evie would get along fine, She requests cereal on a regular (at least 4 times a week ) basis... as you can tell my kids are codependant in my laziness as a mother...
from sduckie :
still when I saw the pictures of your cd holders I said, aww.... kinda cute (not that I want to buy them, though, sorry).
from groupie94 :
We have a Dillard's here, But it's called Younker's - They used to have a hair salon, And I worked there for a while... HATED every minute of it... Lost in a sea of old lady hair and free samples of biolage - not my idea of a good time. The only thing that was good about the store was the makeup/fragrance dept.
from evildilara :
I feel like a whole new person now that I have lived a day in the life of a Dillard's employee. And that break room is PIMP.
from camera-girl :
Thx for the comment. I like that picture too, but it's not my fave. I like the first picture better :-)
from evildilara :
The beehive is INSANE. INSANE I TELL YOU!!!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toasty! Just a thought ... the bees would make for some interesting resin bling. Not so much? If I promise not to call PETA?
from sparkspark :
Me an Brandine, we tight, yo. I get all the inside scizzooop. skizoop. Information.
from theswordsman :
Thanks for coming by and for the nice note. If you think you might come back, I'll leave the porch light on for you. Take care. John
from wickedcrazy :
Jesus christ thats a lot of bees! I always thought more than 3 of anything was a "buttload".
from sparkspark :
Invest in a bucket of night crawlers. Next time Mr. Down Pants invites you to journey through his tunnel of love, feign delight and dump in a handful of worms. As far as Ms. Find-a-Dick, I think it would have been great if when she asked you "How do you find it," you answered "Like this!" and swatted her really hard with one of those tall clothes-hanging-up hooks.
from groupie94 :
Holy freaking hannah !!! Look at that there flock ( it is migrating season you know ! ) of bees...!!! I swear I have never seen a hive so big in my life... Oh and how crazy and just plain WRONG was it that I was thinking of the Little house on the prarie episode where Laura and albert sell Mrs. Olson the stump with the hive in it...! Do not go near that thing, we love you...!
from bunny828 :
BEES! YUCK! That would have sent me back indoors.
from sduckie :
ew! Yes. Do not. Put your hands. Down anyone's pants. You poor girl. I once saw the cell phone lady at the airport, she had to talk while everyone was in line waiting to get on the plane, then right up the jetway as they were ripping her ticket, then still while she was trying to put her luggage in the overhead compartment. At the end of the flight they were asking over the loudspeaker if anyone had found a phone??? Ha ha, guess who's phone was missing. I laughed and laughed. Somebody probaby flushed it down the toilet so we could all be spared.
from bunny828 :
Very funny. I've never heard of Mr DownPants, but I've never worked in retail. And good for you on the other one. I probably would have laughed.
from evildilara :
I just read all your archives so if you see a ton of page views, it was probably me. Just wanted to give you a heads up.
from sunshine0221 :
Okay I am on a diet,a nd your brekafast pizza recipe made me so hungry I think I am about to eat my keyboard. Please post a recipe for Indian food (which I hate) to compensate for the delicioustude of the mighty breakfast pizza.
from evildilara :
What are the ingredients for Breakfast Pizza? I agree it does look like vomit but you know, most species eat their vomit so I am willing to give it a try.
from sduckie :
I love your synopsis of the lifetime movie! I think you should do that on a regular basis. Thanks for making my day!
from heidiann :
Hey I saw that movie! But years ago when it first came out. Poor, poor Zack.
from sparkspark :
This person invited you over for this event? Are you sure you were there on the right day?In other news: Did you get that dude's number? He sounds hott.
from camera-girl :
That last entry called Later reminds me of my last job (that sucked big time). You could just put one of my stupid bosses as Boss Man and me being you. God thing that period is over. *phew*
from dinahsoar :
You are one smart Toast! (Also, I am SO enjoying my resin bling. Thank you SO much!)
from dinahsoar :
Toasty, I sent you an email, but I wanted to write here, too, so that everyone in Diaryland would know that the jewelry you sent in incredible! It is more beautiful than my wildest expectations! Thank you so much (and I will be ordering more for Christmas presents if you are up for it)! Did I mention it is the most amazingly personal and awesome jewelry I have EVER seen?
from mimseylou :
Wow, congrats on the new job! It's been a while since I've done anything diaryland-related seeing as I still hate the people who run it, but I am psyched for you. 11-7:30 sounds like a dream come true!
from thirdeye7601 :
Too funny. I clicked on your journal through another person's journal. And I loved your story. Good luck with the new job. :)
from dinahsoar :
Oh. My. God. If I had known that Siamse Cat's real name was Anthony, I would never have chosen that for the pseudonym in my story for the nefarious Larry! Be that as it may, I love your new template - Our Lady of Toast - your patron saint, I presume? P.S. Can't wait to see the jewels! And, it goes without saying (why do people say that and then say it?) that gorilla PJ's rock the cassbah!
from evildilara :
I'm like that too...my whole outfit will cost like ten cents but my shoes will cost as much as a car payment. Eeeeek. So where did you get the new jobby job?
from sparkspark :
Congratulations on your new job! And... I think I would like to talk about the $115 shoes. I am currently shoe-deprived, as I live in the middle of nowhere.
from sparkspark :
I like the new toast. Very inspiring.
from dinahsoar :
Looking at the world through Toast colored glasses is my favorite thing to do first thing in the morning! You are a delight!
from cheeky-kiki :
Cheers for adding me to your favourites, your Mr Penishead sounds scarily similar to lots of my bosses, do you think it's part of management training?!
from cedar-avenue :
oh goodness.. youre not lying.. its taken me all I've had not to update on my thoughts of Laguna Beach. I think Jessicas a dumbass and whatever happens to her she's been warned SEVERAL times in each episode... but umm... yeah... so umm... maybe next time i'll come back and redeem myself by talking about the theory of relativity or something... hehe... i'm glad i'm not alone in my secret laguna beach issues
from groupie94 :
have you ever had a job at a crafty type store...? ( ie. Michaels etc. ) for as much as you love to make stuff I'd think you would be ok and not go INSANE in a place like that... Also, How I got there I have no idea, but I found myself lost in your archives yesterday reading about your boot camp hell... That stuff was great... You should write more about it.
from evildilara :
I actually started carrying a little fan in my car with me to keep me mildly-fresh looking. I have also learned to double-coat the deodorant. Suave for protection and antiperspirant and then a coat of Dove on top to keep my pits soft and supple with a hint of fragrance. So far I haven't had a pitstake since that one time. Even though i am in Ohio it is hot as hell here too. I feel your pain.
from sparkspark :
Pants organized by color? You so crazy. I wish you a great new job at a firm where dryness is considered a liability.
from dinahsoar :
I wish you new job!
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast! Thank you. Thank you so much. No, thank you EVER so much. I was just reading your very entertaining entry & laughing out loud at work about the shirt on the sale rack leaping to its' death when you mentioned something about a Diet Coke, right? I mean, didn't you? Now I completely forget & am too lazy to reopen your diary & see what the hell I'm thanking you for. Anyway, it reminded me that I left a Diet Coke in the refrigerator at work yesterday & now I am totally awake and groovin' with the bubbles! Thanks. Also, you are quite the artist, but fall maybe a bit short in the entrepreneur category (to your own hurt). Where exactly DO I send the check for the resin bling (I want you to be able to get several of those Mrs. Field's cookies & high end wheat products. Please advise.
from sparkspark :
My mental soundtrack of the day is "Give it to Me, Baby," so I will groove in solidarity with the employees and patrons of Dullard's. "You said I'm so crazy for coming home intoxicated..." What great song doesn't incorporate that sentiment? Rick James was already on my mental soundtrack, as I was watching Chappelle's show last night. And laughing a little bit too much. Alone. Like a loser. Yay!
from sduckie :
and who wants to wear pantyhose after eating a bunch of junk food anyway... now that i think about it...
from sduckie :
you are right toast, that was only 5 things... i realized later............. i'm sorry, little ottoman, i hope things will get better soon! and i totally hear you on the data entry... screw that admin assitant stuff... ugh... i've decided i'm never wearing pantyhose again, ever, anywhere. not even weddings.
from dinahsoar :
Hey Toasty! I am so excited about the jewelry! Do you still have my email address? Email me & let me know where to send the check & give you my address. I think it's cool that you went without food & risked sticking your fingers together just so's I could be in style! I like your priorities. By the way, you are NOT a faded orange & brown plaid, etc. etc. etc. sofa. You are an elegant & very trendy model that would improve any room (your boss is just too dumb to know it).
from groupie94 :
I've mentioned lately in an entry or two how my best driend is moving over here from Mineeapolis... The Dairy he worked at was closing ( he quit early before they closed doors in Oct. ) On his last day of work, he grabbed a building wide intercom and said his own version of g'bye... Weirdo - They still gave him Severance pay tho so that was cool... Reminds me that bastard owes me a drink !!!
from dinahsoar :
Hey, Toasty! Whatdayamean you're sittin' around watching Laguna Beach & eatin' stale popcorn? There are mermaids to resin ... what about the bling? Have you abandoned your other career? Just email me where to send the check & you are open for bid-ness. I wait to hear (so far, all I'm hearing is chomp crunch chomp).
from groupie94 :
Yup yup... "Secret Window" - John Shooter a.k.a John Turturro says it ...I still can't watch "o brother where are thou" and listen to his accent and not think of that line...Ryan was obsessed with that movie for a while and would watch it over and over, Johnny Depp was eyecandy even with the crazy hair and funky glasses.
from groupie94 :
" you stole mah story ...!" ( $1 if you can place that quote ... ) Actually no you just stole me "song for the week" ( see my entry on Tues... ) Behave this weekend wild girl!!!
from dinahsoar :
Cretins. You work for cretins.
from dinahsoar :
Toasty. Toasty. Toasty. The hives are from work, you silly goosey toasty. I had the EXACT same thing when I had this job I hated. I would break out as I was getting dressed. Strangely, they were not on my face or hands or anywhere that showed (enabling me to report for duty). A doctor at Kaiser finally cracked the case. I quit my job & have never had hives again (although I was almost killed by strawberries as a baby - my mom remembered - however, they have no effect on me as an adult except to give me a profound case of the yummies). Loved your pictures - you do a scarily convincing Carrie! P.S. Just in case those hives are not what I'm saying & are something incredibly contagious, could you maybe wear plastic gloves when you're making my bling? Just a thought.
from groupie94 :
I should really proofread ~ Just for the record you are not dead... It ALMOST killed you... glad that's been cleared up WHEW !!! ( Can you tell I haven't had any caffine yet this a.m...? )
from groupie94 :
you poor bundle of itches...One good thing about the mystery of the thing that killed you... It may still be out there lurking, But evidently you have avoided it up to this point, Obviously... either that or it has recinded the wrath against you... Either way you've made it this long...Have a great weekend...!!!
from sduckie :
I vote superhero. You get to wear those cool high boots too.
from groupie94 :
I've been posting everyday - tales of my white trash existence just for everyones pleasure... Also I went and got a manicure on my lunch break today -
from sparkspark :
Your boss sounds hott. Can I have your job when you're done with it?
from dinahsoar :
Hi, Toast. I'm not gonna take today's entry personally, because I DO update regularly ... and I am contributing to your desire to be a "craft maven" because I love your fabulous jewelry and also because ... well, I don't have any puppies or you would be the one I would hire to play with them. So ... wow! that was a really rude notice from your boss. What a pompous creep! You deserve a better gig!
from dinahsoar :
Toast. Seriously. You have to patent the new Dullard's version of "Clue"! How cool would all those characters be on the slick, colorful cards & how fun would it be to have the weapons be office supplies, etc. By the way, whatever happened to Banessa (was that a different job on a different quantum string realm? Don't remember). P.S. Can't wait for the jewelry!
from sparkspark :
You CAN'T quit Dullards! Your coworkers are way too entertaining. (You know: to me, who doesn't have to deal with them.) So... on second thought, yeah, don't listen to me.
from groupie94 :
YET another note in succession from Moi... Whoa, the dead corpse story... What a life you have led... Unbelieveable... Someday I am gonna go to FL just to take you out drinking and have you tell me weird stories all night and make me laugh so hard and long that it hurts...
from groupie94 :
I kinda am in the same mindset lately... Living for the weekends... Mostly because that is the only time I have with Ryan... We are both living and waiting ( impatiently) for November to get laid off for the winter... It cannot come soon enuf...!!! Hang in there...!!!
from evildilara :
A Persian hamster sounds quite exotic. I once knew someone who had a hamster and let it run around the house inside one of those ball things. His dog ate it. The hamster, not the ball unfortunately. They don't mix well with other pets I'd say. Too vunerable.
from sduckie :
hmm, you and i may have a lot in common. the only jobs i would be slightly interested in there would be joann fabrics (it just seems like i could be soo... CRAFTY there!) and maybe bath and body, cause things smell good, but then i imagine all those smells combined could become overwhelming and sickening at some point. can you tell me if this is true? love, DUCK p.s. is it the kind of executive assistant job where you have the brain because the other person can't organize themself and you have to do it? No. I am. Not. Bitter. At all! Go girl. love again, DUCK
from heidiann :
The blonde is taking some getting used to but I like it! And I keep meaning to leave you notes to tell you how lovely the jewelry you make is! I'm incredibly impressed.
from dinahsoar :
Hey, Toast! I wanted to give you a couple of sites to look at, because maybe it would be easier for you to print some pictures from the computer - I don't know what size they should be. There is a site with John William Waterhouse art (anything of his is beautiful - but the mermaids are extraordinary!) & other mermaids at www.illusionsgallery.com/sirens.html. You could also search John William Waterhouse & there are lots of other sites. I'd like to order three pieces (two bracelets & a necklace - if that's cool). I'll email you to find out where to send the check & let me know if you still need pictures sent from me, okay? Can't wait to be sportin' your beautiful original jewelry!
from seven-point5 :
Hi! May I please, please have your password, etc. You can send it to [email protected]!
from dinahsoar :
Okay, Toasty-girl! I'm ready to place my order for the family jewels ... mermaids. That's my theme. A mermaid bracelet. Perhaps a mermaid pendant. You know, not cutsey mermaids (as in "Little"), but John Waterhouse serious-ass mermaids, Victorian mermaids perhaps. Vintage mermaids. You get the idea. So, if you're jiggy with it, let me know (name your price - well, within reason) how to get you a check, etc. Can't wait!
from dinahsoar :
Hey Toasty! Thanks for your note. I'm ready to order some of your jewelry. Could I somehow get you some of my Hawaii pictures to work into a bracelet (if not, I'm open to Missouri)? I'd like get maybe a couple of themes & maybe one grab bag (something you just surprise me with). Let me know how to do this ... I'm so low tech (& I don't have the Gold membership because I thought it would be completely lost on me because I'm so low tech) that I don't know how to do this. Suggestions?
from sparkspark :
I have taken your advice, and turned my shirt around while seated at my desk. Thank you for your support in this matter. I think you wrote the word "once" twice, in order to reinforce that the backward-sweater issue is not a repeat activity.
from brooklyntcb :
should be fine now.
from brooklyntcb :
in case you care... username:brooklyntcb password:brooklyn
from evildilara :
Toasty? Where are you? Shouldn't you be back by now?
from dinahsoar :
Hi, Toasty friend, Just wanted to let you know (in case you don't read my entry today - but whyever wouldn't you?) that I'll be in Hawaii for a week & won't be posting again until Friday, 7/22. So, keep making that amazing jewelry & I promise to place an order on my return. Thank you for being the reason I wanted to reside in Diaryland in the first place (still don't know how I discovered your stuff, but it has literally changed my life - I'm actually writing that book I've been hauling around inside all these years). Thanks again & can't wait to be wearing some of your creations.
from mimseylou :
um, not sure how this happened but I totally forgot the password to your diary. I think I killed too many brain cells during shitty beer night in Iowa this weekend. Yeah, don't expect my comments to be working any time soon. My entire diary hasn't worked for months now and it's all diaryland's fault. They keep pretending like I haven't already bent over, grabbed my ankles and given them the contents of my wallet. Bastards.
from soulepiphany :
But...but...I love the lizard attacks! Sigh.
from abittergirl :
Hi toast...can I have the password? I've been soooo lazy at asking for it... [email protected] thank you!
from dinahsoar :
Toast- Your jewelery is really stunning! I loved the Bathing Beauties best, but it's all beautiful. As I said, I will definitely be ordering some when I get back from vacation. I don't know how to email you pictures, although I'm sure someone can show me. Otherwise, I could snail-mail 'em. Have fun in KC!
from mrs-roboto :
besutiful work, I love love love the pin up girls.
from thedevlyn :
some people simply cannot make up their mind on locking or unlocking, and these people should keep the same password they used at their last diary, but nooooooo, that would be far too logical...
from dinahsoar :
You are NOT a bad dog. You are a creative, articulate, very intelligent & witty writer & artist. I will definitely be ordering some of your incredible jewelry. I just have to get back from my Hawaii trip mid-July - 'til then, I'm saving every dime to spend on Blue Hawaiis & trinkets from the A-B-C Stores - kinda like the Florida 7-ll's - nice & clean only with helpful Samoan guys. Thanks alot for adding to my fear of flying, however. I have to take FOUR planes - couldn't get a direct flight. I have to go to San Francisco and then Hawaii from there. Anyway, think about it. If you were born knowing how to do expense reports, how Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man would that be?
from evildilara :
It sucks you are having a bad day but you know it ISN'T because you are dumb, it is because they didn't train you on stuff. And I don't know if you meant to write "Bob Forbid" instead of Gob Forbid but that made me laugh. It should make you laugh too because Bob would be upset if you didn't. Cheer up :)
from bunny828 :
{{{{Hugs}}}} Sorry to hear about the work thing.
from dinahsoar :
Narcissist that I am, I'm just gonna take today's entry, "Ode to Florida", personally (since I kinda ragged on you about the disparity in our experiences). Now it sounds completely idyllic! I want to be at Estela's RIGHT NOW drinking one of those cheap margaritas. Where I live, in Burbank, CA, I can fall right out my front door & there I am at Favorite Liquor, where I buy my mom her weekly $60 worth of Lottery scratchers. The only dog allowed is the German Shepherd who's on staff. We don't have those big Palmetto bugs, but I had a black widow in the upper corner of my room. I tried to hit it, but it scurried down & went into a crack in the hardwood floor. I sprayed a bottle or two of Lysol Bathroom Cleaner, which trashed the floor, but I haven't seen hide not hourglass of her since. P.S. Burbank's really nice - it's the actual media center of the Western world (even though they give all the credit to Hollywood). Hey, how 'bout that jewelry? You could email me with instructions. Okay?
from soverycherry :
Your entry was cut off! Oh no! I'll be on the edge of my seat until it gets fixed!
from sparkspark :
P.S., I mean, do you ACCEPT orders for JEWELRY, not: do you follow orders.
from sparkspark :
Hey, TC, do you take orders?
from dinahsoar :
Orange Cat is my hero! Wish I had just a skosh of her moxie! And as for Florida - I stayed at Satellite Beach a couple of times & I've been to a couple of Keys Largo & West). The parts I saw were charming - humid, yes, but fish literally jumping out of the water, manitees frolicking at the end of a canal, an alligator that went forth at the same time every morning & than returned at the same time every evening right past my friend's house (just like he was punching a time card or something), Margaritaville, etc.. Where ARE you? It sounds beyond "ew" and very much without charm. P.S. Thanks for your note. I love ALL the jewelry. I want ALL the jewelry. I must have ALL the jewelry. No, really. Actually, I was wondering how I might be able to get you some pictures & get a custom something (not sure what yet, but let me know if it's possible - prices, etc.).
from bunny828 :
You are a stitch! Poor kitty! Did she have a fun tour of the store? There are wild birds at the Petsmart (or maybe it's Pet-no-so-smart) I frequent. They are up in the rafters. I think my cats would have liked chasing those. That's after they got past all the dogs that seem to frequent that place. Oh, is your cat a maine coon? I have maine coons and they are fluffy and knot easily certain times of the year.
from sparkspark :
Oh, Orange Cat... Way to bring down the system!
from dinahsoar :
Oh. My. God. Just looked at your "latest craft project" section and was awestruck & literally mesmerized by your beautiful, intriguing, incredible, amazing jewelry! Do you sell it (because if so, I'm there!)? Do you take orders for custom stuff (like initials or photographs, etc)? Wow! You are multi-talented!
from sunshine0221 :
Going through toastcrumbs withdrawal - password please!
from salazabr :
Ok, cool.
from soverycherry :
That picture made me laugh out loud. And also, my SuperGold took a day to kick in last time, too. What the hell, dude. (Yes, that dude was for you.)
from sparkspark :
D'Oh! Fooled again! Password me, baby.
from dinahsoar :
Okay, so here's what you do. The toothbrush holder has four holes & you only use one, right? So just get three roommates. How cool is that for a solution? Or, wait, you could just buy three more toothbrushes & fool the cockroach into thinking you actually had three roommates (I have a Master's Degree, you know). Or, hey, how 'bout you get a toothbrush holder with only one hole. Yeah, that'll fool that stupid bastard. Or, how 'bout you get the hell out of Florida! Yeah, now that's IT(aren't you glad you gave me the password?)!
from heidiann :
Damn you with your locking! Email me the password pretty please with cat fur on top! livin.the.thug.lifeATgmailDOTcom.
from dinahsoar :
Hey Toast, Wassup with the lock? You play entirely too hard to get (but you're entirely worth it, so could I please have the password? My email is [email protected]
from noaddedme :
password PLEASE! [email protected]
from mrs-roboto :
password please [email protected]
from devian :
if someone gives you a free ipod, FUCK THEM! fuck them long, fuck them hard, but give up the sex to that person. male/female--who cares. FUCK THEM!
from mimseylou :
OMG, I didn't even get messages that you freaking left me a note and guestbook entry. I am in such a love/hate relationship with diaryland these days. Be on the lookout for a link to the pug party pictures. Sorry to hear about your car cd player/missing maps/text book fiasco. When our car got broken into for the second time in two nights and I asked the police what we could do to make it more safe he said, "Ma'am, if I could tell you that, I'd be out of a job." Ice T had it right.
from brooklyntcb :
I think your craft projects are pretty neat...I'd definetly wear it-lol. Is that scary??
from salazabr :
Sure, if you give me an email I'll send you one or if you can access Ionme you can also access mine.
from asking2much :
My ipod saves my life everyday. And did you know for a measly 25 dollars you can by and FM transmitter to use in your car and have ipod goodness every time you drive!
from virginlux :
Ugh someone broke into my old car once and tried to steal the cd player but apparently they were amateurs because all the bastards made off with was the faceplate. Wankers. Stealing anyone's music or anyone's anything to do with music is evil.
from soverycherry :
Re: the CD player/CDs... SUCKS. Re: free Ipod... fucking AWESOME. I am not one to mince words today.
from salazabr :
Your obligation is to ask them where the hell your cassest adapter or FM transmitter. That and a "thank you very much" are your only oblgiations. I hope you love and use yours as much I love and use mine.
from dinahsoar :
How insulting is that? To leave behind CD's? It's like criticizing your internal landscape, your judgment, your very efficacy as a human being. Once I got robbed at gunpoint in broad daylight (is there such a thing as narrow daylight?)and my husband du jour accused me of calling the thugs back to remind them to take my wedding ring. True story. I also enjoyed your "magical animal" allusion. Cracker Barrel should called it the "Dr. Suess Blue Plate Special".
from virginlux :
You crack me up. xoxo -C
from dinahsoar :
No way! A veggie wrap for $7.95 & smoothie of $4.50? I live in L.A. adjacent, where an air fern wrap (rumored to lower IQ points over time with prolonged use) goes for $10.50 (add $1.00 if consumed al fresco). We don't have the "Wonderwoman", but I can tell you that a Botax smoothie will cost you at least $7.95.
from sduckie :
hi toast, CONGRATULATIONS, you are FREE! quitting those kinds of jobs has got to be one of the most liberating things.... so I wish you well with the dreaded phone-answering job. i know we'll get a lot of good entries out of you with that one.... Love, DUCK
from virginlux :
Hey thanks :-) It's not exactly original, being hijacked from The Virgin Suicides and all but fuck it. Would you email me the name of this medication? [email protected] - Chances are I suffer whatever ailment it treats, haha. xoxo -C
from heidiann :
I love Kelly Clarkson too.
from catspajamas :
YAAAAAAAY!!!!!
from groupie94 :
I'm locked out... =( Can I have the password...?
from heidiann :
Hel-LO? How am I supposed to send you "thank you for donating and being fucking fabulous" goodies when you don't include your address!?! I DEMAND that you email it to me so I can give you postal love. P.S. Thank you sososososo much. =)
from sunshine0221 :
Hey - how I have I not been reading your journal?? Just added you to my faves. My cats LOVE their cat tree. The live in it when they're not terrorizing the rest of the house. Now of course clean clothes also need attention and lots of cat fur - and I have 2 black ones and a white one so the fur contrasts beautifully on everything.
from hey4eyes :
Very Funny Stuff, Lady. Bobbie Sue Dicks.
from dinahsoar :
Oh. My. God. To paraphrase from the movie Jerry McGuire, "You had me at the first sentence". I was howling (trust me, that just does not happen). This has more than made up for every suckie thing that happened to me say last weekend. Suicidal squirrels (not to exonerate your Neon, but I wonder if they've been listening to any of that pesky Goth stuff)! Who knew? But the animals were very touching. I will be sending to Tri-County for Fonzie's swift recovery (guess I'll be walking around in old shoes, too, but hey, that takes care of my 37%, thank you very much!). I am beyond thrilled that you like my writing because you are seriously did I mention - A. Real. Writer. I really think you're good enough to quit that day job, but don't let your boss know quite yet - gotta get that book started first! Thank you so much for the joy (and I mean it) you bring with your incredibly witty and intelligent perspective on this 'life thang'.
from somuchsugar :
oh you poor thing, I'm so sorry you have to go through that crap. You certainly have shown you have integrity and class throughout; too bad other people haven't got any. I hope you can keep your chin up and have a fun weekend.
from salazabr :
OMG! That is one of my favorite plays!! I damn near jumped out of my seat!!
from hiryuu :
Thanks! I appreciate your note! Yeah, I know- did you see the one with the 40 most shocking reality TV moments? That has to be my fave.
from groupie94 :
screw em' ... you are respected more by people who don't even know you ... I think the bunny said it best... "Mean people suck" Hang in there !
from dinahsoar :
Hi Toast (I'm hoping that, after your message, we are on a first name basis - feel free to call me dinah or, if you're thinking more formal, Ms. Soar to you), Thank you so much for your response. I was totally no TOTALLY stoked because you are genuinely my new favorite author (replacing not only Shakespeare, but Sue Monk Kidd). Thank you for your kind words or encouragement for my writing. You are a REAL writer & I take your comments seriously. I don't know if it was a fluke, but last evening when I was notified that you had updated (you being on my I guess it's called 'buddy list'), I tried to read it and (alas!) found your diary locked (and me, sadly, on the outside looking in). New to Dyland, I don't know what this could mean (outside of profound and bewildering rejection), but, if you would like me to be able to read your stuff, could you please let me know the password (I am not only not a stalker, but I don't know where either Kansas City OR Kansas are - couldn't find either on a map). I finally got to read your lastest entry this morning (maybe through some cyberglitch or maybe you took the lock off or maybe I am living in a moon age daydream and none of this is real. Anyway, please (if your diary is indeed locked & I am somehow on the "A List", please let me know how to get to it. By the way, even sober, your writing completely rocks! (I tried to send this message once & it didn't seem to work, so forgive me if something similar to this arrives twice - I'm a computer dope).
from soverycherry :
Why are people so pathetic? I have decided that I just don't care who finds me either. I have moved before and come back, locked up and unlocked... I ultimately decided that I didn't care. It's really unfortunate that people have to be so pathetic! Can I say that word again: pathetic. Ugh.
from rotted :
what? you're gone... i can relate to your reasoning... i too had a similar experience... you should go read my "history" page and then e-mail me the new link. :D yup, yup, yup... that's what you should do.
from mrs-roboto :
oh no - I've been locked out -sad....
from dinahsoar :
Thank you for making me laugh out loud. That is a feat these days. You are my favorite author. No, really. I don't even know how I landed in planet diary, but you have filled my life with a vivid cast of characters - Banessa, orange cat, your anthropomorphic neon that boasts more personality than just about everyone in the real world & of course hysterical you - whose musings genuinely touch a similar place in me. When I stumbled upon this underbelly of civilization (code name Diaryland), it was like discovering string theory or some parallel universe whose language I, serendipitously, already speak. I'm new at this & only started a diary today, but yours was the inspiration. I'm incredibly low tech, so it's nothing fancy. Just a cathartic little Rorschach junk drawer. Thanks again.
from sduckie :
oh toast, i feel ya. i am so poor i can barely pay attention, and surely answering the phone must be a component of the ninth circle of hell. don't let the bastards grind you down, baby.
from somuchsugar :
i refuse to get a dumb-ass cellphone either; hate answering the phone too. I'm so sorry you don't like your new job & had to take an extra one. I hope you can plan a fun weekend to help cheer you up!! (A little bourbon & the closest stockings-dpt. store sometimes helps too!)
from soverycherry :
Nevermind. I just emailed you. I is stupid.
from soverycherry :
Could I get your email to send you the locked entries password? You can email me if you want - [email protected]. Thanks!
from sparkspark :
I think of all the soul-sucking messages that can be conveyed at the office, "Be grateful you have a job!" is the soul-suckingest. A close second is, "I'm just grateful to have a job!" implying as it does that you, the listener, are an ungrateful, complaining slacker. (Which, oddly enough, I am.)
from thedevlyn :
thank you
from thedevlyn :
how about you update or something?
from vintagegurl :
I have to congratulate you from a craftswoman to a craftswoman, for an excellent job done on your kitchen cabinets. Well done my friend.
from mimseylou :
Wow, she must be part of that "No Child Left Behind" thing that Bush is tauting. Really, rock on with your ass-clowney grammar!
from somuchsugar :
oh good luck on your interview! just think of how proud the cats are of you :)
from sparkspark :
I couldn't stand Bush until I read the quote you posted from that other diary, "all these people who claim he is the new age Hitler are ass clowns themselves." She makes an excellent point. My whole system of political beliefs might simply be a function of my status as an "ass clown." Now, finally, I understand.
from somuchsugar :
Now I feel like painting cabinets too! (I doubt mine would come out so perfectly as yours however!) Being his biggest fan, I know a bizarre amount of info about Elvis. However, was not aware of Graceland's satellite station! That news makes my day - thank you!!
from imperfectlyy :
Teehee! I especially laughed at your Juanita hippo and the camel who likes to write his name in the sand. Oh so funny, and your cabinets are goooorgeous dahling! ~sigh~ That was nice
from sparkspark :
It all looks very fab to me. Well, except for that picture of your coworkers in the previous entry. I am feeling restricted and depressed, just looking at it! They seem like the kind of women who purse their lips and look at the clock when you come in in the morning, and in my mind, I have named them, from left to right: Jean, Jane, Jan, and Joan. Excellent kitchen remodel, though.
from groupie94 :
LOVE LOVE LOVE the new kiten redo - maybe you have found your new calling ( to replace Genevieve "put some shoes on already" Gorder ) I'd hire you !!! awesome!
from hiryuu :
Sorry it took me so long! The Ring 2 was.. alright. It was more of a "let's see how many places/situations we can throw Samara in" thing, but it DID explain everything from the Ring 1 and more of Samara's background... It was Blockbuster good, not movie theater good. It still scared the shit out of me though!
from mrs-roboto :
OH I LOVE THE CABINETS! And the countertop. Nice job!
from imperfectlyy :
I hear diary-x is pretty snazzy...I wouldn't trust any other diary places because they tend to just disappear with all of yer prized entries. And then you could always by your own domain and install wordpress or something overly snazzy...
from somuchsugar :
what's up with Dland not allowing us to add new entries??! The worst thing is I'm not able to enjoy new ones by you either!! Sob.
from imperfectlyy :
Well back in the day (2003/2004 apparently) I locked my diary and didn't really care to take the time and give people passwords. Soooo of course people couldn't reach my guestbook and I think that's the reason no one has signed it in forever and a day. And god forbid you'd have to enter your name, email, and diary address in a guestbook! Lets be lazy and use notes! But now I see SMG is being a fucker and never bothered to email me that you signed =( It woulda been so much more exciting to get an email about it. ~sigh~ Alrighty...it's too late to be trying to talk and make sense. Tootles!
from abittergirl :
OH MY GOD! NO Q-Tips? I'd die.
from salazabr :
lol! I know! And when they're only 99 cents I stock up bigtime and fill up the freezer like a big dork! Them and Papa Murphy's are my favorite pizzas hands down!
from hiryuu :
Thanks. : ) I'll totally tell you about it. I hope it turns out good. It looks way scarier then the first one. I didn't think the "climbing out of the well" thing could get worse.. I was wrong!
from somewhat-ok :
Oh and I wanted to add that you can make your diary "unlisted" in diaryland by not filling out your profile, I just discovered this, neat trick huh? You can still put your diaries that you have as your faves, but just don't write in a title and info about your diary. Then it won't show up when people search for it.
from somewhat-ok :
Hey Toastcrumbs, just so you know all you have to do is do something like what this page says: http://www.ceebanff.ca/help/tags/#hiw this will make it so search engines don't find your page! I have it on mine and it works so far :)
from groupie94 :
welcome back... glad you haven't given up and are still here, because you my friend are wonderful...! *smile*
from rdhdprincess :
I'm glad that you are back. Hope the nosy people go away. Now I have to go see which entries you moved over her! You make me laugh and laugh and laugh. Thanks, by the way! And yes, more boot camp!
from somuchsugar :
what a couple of freaks - I hope this way you can get rid of them. (Would love to hear more of your boot camp stories! welcome back.)
from devian :
i have no idea what your old diary was...who are you?!
from uberfrau :
who are you toast crumbs? who were you? NOw I am really curious
from pumpkinhouse :
You can have your Gold moved from the old diary to this one. :)

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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