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messages to towelphaser:
(click here to add new message):

from willowfox :
You're on somebody's buddy list who is on somebody else's buddy list who is on somebody else's buddy list and that person (?) is on mine(?) Anyway, you don't seem to write here anymore but you make me laaaauuugh so hard, especially your poems and songs and your layout is SO kick ass and your bass is, dude, fargin hawtt, so I think you should come back and write more.
from bigmonayho :
Man, that poem was awesome! I actually laughed out loud.
from pixiia-8 :
Hahaha...YAY! I know, this no internet thing makes me the biggest hurtbag ever. Nooooo...move here!!! At least come crash with me and party and jam indefinitely this summer? Like, stay until you can't anymore! Its really fun here in the summer, and my friend Alex and I are going to start a band so come be our bass player! I never got your e-mail :(. carlynfleming@mail.com...send one again so I can write back! And call me 514-270-0268. Its sooo nice to be back in touch!
from pirategirl :
Oh, Brendan. It's almost like I forgot how much you rocked. Damn life making me unable to read about awesome people.
from bigmonayho :
Thanks for the compliment! I can't say that anyone has ever made up a word for me. It was quite fantabulous.
from bigmonayho :
Hey, I was just thinking the same thing about no one ever updating anymore. I still read it.
from indie-anna :
one'a these days i have to see you play.
from indie-anna :
you just reminded me of how much i miss yr ent-er-ies. (and yes, i know how to spell entries - i was going with a flow here...) xo.
from idiot-milk :
Many moons ago, I used to have a terrible cat named Bug. Bug was the worst cat in the world. Mean, annoying, loud, destructive. I wasn't supposed to have cats in the apartment building, and eventually the landlady said that I would have to get rid of the cat or be evicted. And I thought "Eh, no big deal. Bug sucks anyway." And so I found a home for her. And I knew that I would miss having another creature living with me, but I really didn't think I would be all that upset. Thing is, about a minute after the friend left with Bug, I was all weepy and sad. And every time I didn't trip over Bug like I normally would while making dinner, I was sad. And every time she didn't wake me up by knocking shit on my head from the shelf above my bed, I was sad. And I missed that stupid, crappy cat like hell. I guess it's not exactly the same thing as you're going through, but I'm just trying to say that, yeah, it sucks. And it's shitty. And I'm sorry, buttercup.
from indie-anna :
i know. the horror.
from idiot-milk :
Laugh it up, monkey boy, JUST LAUGH IT UP. I'm SO totally not marrying you now. SO, HAHAHAHAHA! Now, if you were to, say, buy me a pony, I might reconsider.
from hastfulangel :
You entertain me. Consider yourself added.
from west-vs-east :
brandon....your last entry has almost made me cry....so sorry to hear that....sad now.
from idiot-milk :
Sweet. Okay, then, I will totally marry you. We have to have pony rides at the wedding, though, and one of those moon bounce-y things. Oh, and Sno Cones. And we'll both have to change our last names, too. Probably something like Fightmaster, because that's the raddest last name I've ever heard.
from idiot-milk :
Yes. Well, wait. Maybe. I don't know. Riddle me this: Would you snort cocaine off of a dead hooker's ass? What is your position on pudding cups? Do you like robots? Everybody Loves Raymond; true or false? If a ninja and a pirate fought to the death, who would win? And do you believe if you filled a dog full of helium you could float it on the end of a string? The committee anxiously awaits your response. That is all. Carry on.
from west-vs-east :
thanks for the update....keep on it ho...pull up your writin socks...
from west-vs-east :
hey bitch! update your shit! what....you too good for updates...what??!...thasss raaght...i said it....mmm hm hm hmmm
from captain-ass :
what is up! miss you...p.s. your dad's still a great shag
from west-vs-east :
thanks for sharing the allmighty pain of unemployment with me....*sniff*...fuck them up their stoooopid asses...
from coolcattt :
good stuff..what type of jobs are you looking for.
from coolcattt :
I KNOW..sriously, really fucking soon..anyday. um i dont knnow if they are any more...everyone EVERYONE is FUCKED up in here..cept me.
from west-vs-east :
hey brend...its ang..i used to live with brenna and work at whelans..how are you and the significant otha??...do you guys still go to whelans for jalepeno poppers and nachos...miss your humour...catcha when ever i get back to t dot o dot....slayer!
from indie-anna :
i KNOW! it made me sad. i love that man. and you too, brendan. i hope things get better soon. :)
from pixiia-8 :
...? Wha...? Nonono, I am not even TRYIN' to hear that you were in Montreal already and are now gone. Get over here now. Why the fuck don't I have internet?? grrr. I must MSN with you all right now.
from pixiia-8 :
Where you be bitch?? gimme your phone number and/or call meeeeeee. xox
from chiv :
Hehe, you're only making it worse for yourself! Sadly I'm all out of booze, so we'll have to wait a while before I care again. Do excuse me [tips lack-of-hat]
from chiv :
That's it, I'm d'land calling you out.. where's my rapier? Ap'thee, you tart!
from apathee :
oh feck! you can't!! you are in toronto! alas. -a
from apathee :
NO!!! i love YOU! but don't tell chivey if you know him....not like he could talk...he's such a d-land whore!!! whoo hoo! obviously i am ill and should be heading towards bed very soon. i've too much to drink....meet us in camdentown!!! -a
from bigmonayho :
4. Justin Timberlake has finally hit rock bottom.
from fmelbourne :
to answer your question, that was me yelling at people and yes i am an artist, couldnt you tell? i am an artist cause i have a guitar, and my goal in life is to make a song about a ukaleili on a banjo. that is my goal and you cannot take that away from me!!! PALM TREES!!!
from indie-anna :
she's not even THAT hot! at all! but it's nice that she spat. i like that.
from indie-anna :
oh, brendan, i'm sorry you had to endure that. i wanted to go to that show to see ima robot, but i don't like the sounds, and i hate kill hannah more than anything ever. they're god awful. i hope you didn't want to shoot yr face off too badly. <3 xo.
from bigmonayho :
I will have a shot of tequila for you, and laugh at the fact that you're freezing your ass off.
from robin-smith :
Hey babe! I took care of the CMA note. A new entry would be a good thing...I've been lazy as all hell about updating.
from kellybutton :
it's quite possible that one day in your lifetime you will have your very own yoshi. science can do everything now, you know. (except like, cure diseases.) the only problem is, everyone else will have one too...and then you won't be so special after all.
from captain-ass :
I miss you!! I had sushi tonight without you.
from redstarhelix :
that was quite possibly the best song i've read at 3 am, ever.
from coolcattt :
dude, whats up? we need to hook up.eat some MOTHAFUCKIN WINGS.
from captain-ass :
that was brilliant..i think i just shat my pants
from captain-ass :
oh well there was a password on it...i guess not anymore...but thanks for checking up on me assfuck
from echopunk :
Jesus, way to be the fucking notemaster. I was just persuing your notes and am incredibly curious as to what my note "Does it still smell?" could have been from. It's waaay down. Those were the days. I hope brunch was tons of fun. Miss you, dork. j.
from irish-jack :
convex RULZ!
from indie-anna :
good luck with that. i'd surely hire you after that. <3 xo.
from maskedmofo :
Can't wait to see the pictures of the duo!
from coolcattt :
how about next tuesday.?i will call you for saturday
from robin-smith :
Tha's fo sho.
from robin-smith :
My god. That's funnier than a dead Chihuahua in a toilet.
from robin-smith :
Yeah. Innocent children could be looking at spanky tits! WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN???
from robin-smith :
How mysterious. Down with fascist firewalls.
from robin-smith :
Wha? No. It must be the increased ass-fucking content (come to think of it, I did mention "anal sex" in a recent entry. That could be your problem).
from y2kate :
i'm moving a few blocks from where i live now. closer to no frills! and in a house with roomates and cable and not deep in the ground! it should be wonderful!
from coolcattt :
ya man, you in for wings on tuesday?
from uberjnet :
aren't we the smart one, you proper motherfucking thing, you? go eat shit!!! eat dog shit.
from maskedmofo :
Happy Thanksgiving Muchacho!
from captain-ass :
just kidding...i wish you could have been there though...all i wanted for my birthday this year was to crap on your face
from captain-ass :
actually, i didn't write it...it was written one line at a time by all my FRIENDS who bothered to show up for my birthday
from indie-anna :
a.men. brutha. i ask myself the same thing every time i have to play his new album at work. what the. hell. happened to him? <3 xo.
from captain-ass :
you are so funny i have shit my swivel chair...wings tongiht?
from y2kate :
i can come downtown ANYTIME! if jnet quit her job, we can hang out at strange hours when everyone else is at work. hehe.
from captain-ass :
my new diary yo
from indie-anna :
thank you, darlin'. i am good, how are you? <3 xo.
from stormyclaude :
dude. what is up with brenna's diary?
from echopunk :
I don't get it.
from chiv :
Apparrrrently it is US in origin, from about 1885. Probably from the idea of being "whacked" out of alignment. [shrug]
from stormyclaude :
i was 100% convinced when i was five that i would grow up and become a horse. not a horsie or a pony. i would, very coolly, respond to when-you-grow-up inquiries with, "a horse."
from y2kate :
it was shopper's fault because they have very stupid employees! haha. hey, can you burn me a cd of your band to play on my radio show. i need cancon and you guys rock!
from chiv :
bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, acting like they just woke up and going, "What was THAT?!" </being unoriginal>
from stormyclaude :
but, dude, that'd also entail some kind of sophisticated cleaning system, because if i saw that light? i would crap my pants with a PROMPTNESS.
from coolcattt :
sorrry dude..i just got out of bed since last saturday...whatever i had was fucking shit. but wings this monday?or tuesday?
from brennass :
lets kill ourselves
from brennass :
i miss sushi...where did we go wrong?
from indie-anna :
here's the plan. i should be getting my tax return very soon, and once i do, i'm planning a vacation. first stop: toronto. there we will play rock & roll and get in bar room brawls and have a contest to see who can freestyle best. so get to practicin' homeboy. i'll bring my sticks. <3 xo.
from coolcattt :
i fucking love it. yours truely C-section
from indie-anna :
okay. i'll be right over. <3 xo.
from indie-anna :
ahhh, yes, but see brendan, here lies my problem: i cannot play drums in front of people. for the life of me i just can't fucking do it. i would lovelovelove to be yr drummer, but i can't even be my own band's drummer cause i'm such a nutcase. it's sad, but true. <3 xo.
from brennass :
just when i think your john cougar mellencamp entry was the funniest shit ever, you post a picture of a child wearing a pin that says "dog balls". brilliant.
from y2kate :
you can only be a guest dj on my radio show if you promise to play small town by john cougar mellencamp!
from brennass :
you are a horrible person. turkeyfucker.
from brennass :
i heard you fucked a turkey
from brennass :
If i were to have a thanksgiving dinner, it would be called "brendan likes to gobble gobble cock"
from brennass :
if i were to open a bus station i would call it "take a ride on the brendan bus, everyone in north america already has MMMMMMMMMMHMMMMMMMMMM. DATS RIGHT...he's a slut"
from brennass :
if i were going to open a proctologist clinic i would call it "brendan likes to get slammed in teh ass"
from brennass :
if i were going to open up a public swimming pool i would call it "brendan's STD ifestation station"
from brennass :
if i were to open a brothel, i would call it "brendan's moms house"
from y2kate :
invite me! when can i come visit?
from pirategirl :
I'd see that movie so many times, I may even give up drinking for a day or two to afford it. Fucking genius.
from coolcattt :
fuck this..im on strike
from coolcattt :
Not sure, i havent talked to either of them..i imagine they would be..ask them..im not on msn all day..fuck..
from coolcattt :
cool, i will be there at 8:30..BE THERE I CUT YOU SO FAST.
from coolcattt :
Wings tonight? 830ish?
from indie-anna :
i know. i love b.c. too. sooooooooooo much. <3 xo.
from brennass :
hey assfuck...let go eat some fucking sushi
from coolcattt :
dude, i need a new job. help. come over saturday, got a bunch of pot and guitars.
from benramot :
brendan, I have losts nunu's address. If you give it to me than from this day forward, you will continue to live within my heart. Else I will miss your "attitude." I will miss your beautiful blue eyes. I will miss your smile. I will miss your hug hello and your hug goodbye. I will miss YOU, my friend, for the rest of my life. Please note me nunu's address. xoxo -ben
from brennass :
that was the funniest shit ever!! i hate it when the staff at starbucks craps in your mouth
from indie-anna :
come on brendan, get up. we're gonna go over there & i'm gonna punch him for ya. i got'chyo back. <3 xo.
from coolcattt :
yes brendan we smoke the blunts, but a duvet is alot sexier.like yourself.
from brennass :
you guys missed a good night on saturday. who smokes the blunts? we smoke the blunts!
from pixie-42 :
raditude!
from coolcattt :
are you fucking serious?B.C.?for fucking what?
from brennass :
you know, you might make more friends if you didn't go around fisting everyone.
from indie-anna :
i punched him in the gut. not as good, i know. but i was at work. plus i didn't even realize i was gonna do it at first. it just came over me, and i swung. he's 50 billion times bigger than me, and his gut was the first thing i saw. so i went for it. at least i made him double over. he didn't fall or anything or fly back & hit the wall. damn it. that's probably because he weighs a good 300+ & NOT BECAUSE i'm weak. i think i need to get in a bar room brawl. the other nite i cracked my friend's beer bottle on the curb, and it was fuckin' hottt. <3 xo.
from scurvymates :
brendan w.k., please 'don't stop living in the red.' rock.
from indie-anna :
oh well - someday. & i'll throw a "brendan is coming to chicago, biaaatches" party in yr honour. <3 xo.
from y2kate :
brendan w.k. you better be coming to see andrew w.k. on september 7th because guess who's going...ME! and i don't even wanna go, so you and jnet better go to make it tolerable!
from indie-anna :
it's september 1st-ish. my roommate's birthday is the 2nd, but i think we're having the party like the last day of august or something. whhyyyy? do you wanna come!? <3 xo.
from laura-jane :
Brendan! You know me: I don't curse often. But Holy Bloody Mother of God (Yes.) wonderful, wonderful music.
from indie-anna :
that is A.MA.ZING. amazing darling, amazing. i lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvve it. <3 xo.
from coolcattt :
THAT MIGHT BE THE FUNNIEST SONG EVER.
from indie-anna :
why thank'ya dearest. someone's gotta do it. <3 xo.
from echopunk :
My mother wanted to know how you were. I told her fine, but it was kind of a lie, because I had no idea how you were. But she says hi and now i miss you. funny how that happens.
from y2kate :
ahh! you have a copy of harold and maude? i totally wanna borrow it. i've searched all of niagara for it. oh, and if you get this message this evening, go to the mod club tonight. i know that place sucks, but i'm gonna be there. i wanna hang out with you and jnet. haven't seen you guys in 4ever! haha.
from stormyclaude :
dude you are sooooo gonna rock.
from coolcattt :
dude, i miss you at work,....it really sucks now.
from y2kate :
see, your diary is witty because i never thought about doctors having laughing fits when performing surgery and that's very important because i bet that nearly 500 people have died because of doctor's laughing fits. actually no. cause my friend's father is a heart surgeon and i know that he has NO sense of humour what-so-ever, so i'm pretty sure he's never killed anyone with his laughing fits.
from y2kate :
oh man! i can't come to toronto tonight...sunday during the day?? actually, i've never driven to toronto. think i could do it?
from robin-smith :
Unfortunately I've got engagements in Montreal and NYC first (oh, the life of a Diaryland jetsetter), but I'm DEFINITELY in Toronto in October -- the 10th to the 13th.
from robin-smith :
Like its unwilling bitch, as per usual.
from robin-smith :
That's balls AND ass. And a little bit of hot dick. Anyway, hope the new job is going well.
from robin-smith :
Why you don't write me no more, bitch?
from indie-anna :
oh my god. she is a good woman for punching you for that. <3 xo.
from echopunk :
i just bought the broken social scene album and the song "anthems from a seventeen year old girl" totally reminds me of you.
from brennass :
there once was a man from nantucket-if i had a dick brendan would suck it-he is so gay-he says to me all day-i wish i had a retractable ass so i could fuckit
from brennass :
i think i smell a POEM OFF!!!
from stormyclaude :
actually we hate Columbus Day the most
from stormyclaude :
brend: FROM WHERE? and is there a pre-selected list of possible scents or can you just go totally nutty? i would pick paving tar.
from indie-anna :
scratch & sniff business cards!? oh.my.god. i want them. & you should totally go for the sex - go into the ho biznass. <3 xo.
from robin-smith :
WHERE YOU AT, BITCH? (Hee. You said "bunus.")
from stormyclaude :
i was fucked up enough that i thought briefly, 'you know, i could put this in the food processor with some garlic and tahini and have HUMMUS, dood!" but i sucked it up and munched 'em straight.
from stormyclaude :
heh, i fibbed so as to seem less ghetto. i, too, ate them straight from the can. it was awesome.
from pixiia-8 :
haha, i didn't know you were going to *wait* dumbassaurus rex. I fell asleep. I'm at work allll night tonight. sigh. i'll be on IM at like, 1 or so if you are up :).
from stormyclaude :
asstounding. well done you
from brennass :
THAT WAS THE MOST AWSOME THING EVER!!!
from coolcattt :
Hey dude..i was just talking to Brenna and she said you are gay....i think you should kick her ass.
from indie-anna :
bitch, i am so yr bitch.
from brennass :
whats that? i was distracted by your Mount Vesuvious size herpes
from brennass :
i'm sorry did you say something? i can't understand you with all that cock in your mouth.
from robin-smith :
"Eddies in the time-space continuum!" "What's he doing in there?" Hey, try writing to me at robin-smith@diaryland.com. Sometimes that works.
from brennass :
have some faith in me!! just becasue i suck cock for money doesn't mean i don't have standards
from robin-smith :
You can go mad too. MAD I TELL YOU. Stick a rabbit bone in your beard.
from robin-smith :
GLARGLE! This is ass! I'm cut off from the world! I'll go mad! MAD I TELL YOU!
from robin-smith :
I just sent you an e-mail (at your work address)...did you get it?
from thomo :
what about space goats??! huh? what then?
from brennass :
That was the funniest entry ever. I just shat myself.
from brennass :
you need to update more
from brennass :
AAWWWW SHIT WE BE KICKING IT BRUNCH STYLE!!! FUCKSHITASLLL BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLS FUCKFUCKFUCKF SPEAKIN IN MUTHA FUCKIN TOUNGES REPREZZZZZZZZZZENTIIIIIIN!!
from indie-anna :
i JUST got it!! (my real e-mail is areyouunderwater@yahoo.com - that's why i didn't get it sooner. i couldn't even remember the password.) dude - yr the coolest. :) <3 xo.
from indie-anna :
tilted? tilted, brendan? whhhhat? i think yr cra-zeee. <3 xo.
from indie-anna :
i'm going on a canadian adventure this summer. if only i can convince my travelling partner(s) we won't get sars. <3 xo.
from indie-anna :
you. are. the. bestest. thanx cause you made me smile. xo.
from indie-anna :
you can only take dj tanner if you swear to me you'll have a kimmie gibler. at least to carry yr records. c'mon man. those girls sure could dance too...
from indie-anna :
i might be able to pencil you in somewhere around the 15th. how's that work for you? xo.
from indie-anna :
you think 501 is a lot? try 1085. i really need to get a life. <3 xo.
from brennass :
fag
from indie-anna :
hey man. YR band should go on tour with MY band. yeaaaaahhhh.
from brennass :
p.s. come online fuckface
from brennass :
your just jealous cause your ass isn't exploding every half hour
from indie-anna :
i hear you talkin'... bring it, brendan.
from y2kate :
tendo family christmas scramble! best episode! i love it when the panda sits on things and they get stuck up his ass...k, now you and jnet better go see the essex green at the horseshoe next week. i'm coming all the way from welland for this show and it'll be good and i better see you guys there!!
from low-light :
worship the panda.
from indie-anna :
alright... that's it... *rolling up my sleeves* you & me. outside. now. xo.
from stormyclaude :
not only will it pass, but it'll pass like a prune burrito through Louie Anderson. Have strength.
from indie-anna :
hi brendan, it's kathleen. i just wanted to let you know that while this may be hard for you to accept, sarah's the one for me. sorry. hey - we can still be friends. <3
from indie-anna :
mmm hmm. yr a little sumthin' sumthin' alright.
from echopunk :
nice. hope everything is as well as can be.
from indie-anna :
i like yr new look. much. xo.
from brennass :
that is fucking awsome. gimme.
from y2kate :
oh man! i'm so jealous of that new layout. it totally suits you and your diary. it's so cool!
from stormyclaude :
To use the popular vernacular of the day, that shizzle be hella mofuggin' tight, dog. Word.
from cindie-loo :
sweet new layout
from stormyclaude :
i just sent one to Robin, so keep an eye out
from stormyclaude :
i'm only "on" because i'm violently hungover and cruelty keeps me from vomiting. have a great day.
from stormyclaude :
dream a little dream, yeti.
from stormyclaude :
p.s. knuckledragger
from stormyclaude :
this is actually extry-funny because i'm totally not hirsute in the least. even the hair on my head grows pathetically slow.
from stormyclaude :
i would be delighted to. but i live oh so far away. in addition, i usually barter (food, booze, 'personal services') for my artistry, and i can't think of anything you could possibly offer that i'd want.
from stormyclaude :
seeing as how you can't even cut your own hair, the prospect of you lunging at me with some Child Safety Scissors (i'm assuming that's the only kind your mom'll let you have) isn't really making me too nervous.
from stormyclaude :
go get raped, sailor
from stormyclaude :
oh WOW! you broke my CODE! I take it that means you're now reading at a third-grade level, since THERE IS NO CODE, you scraggly-coifed wittle baby.
from stormyclaude :
what? (cupping hand to ear) what's that i hear? is it the sound of...someone being TOTALLY PUSSY??!? Dude, i've cut my own for five years and i look like a total rockstar. Of coures, your paws are probably so cramped and misshaped from constantly giving handjobs to WWII vets that you can't even hold the scissors, in which case, i condole you.
from stormyclaude :
"waaah! my luxuriant tresses flow excessively and i don't know what to dooooo!!" suck it up and cut it yourself, foo.
from stormyclaude :
YOU brought the cat into this. I mean, i know you are probably used to fucking him, but i'm not a cat person.
from stormyclaude :
hey man, talk the talk...
from stormyclaude :
Yeah, well, being an artist and all, i tend to get kinda visual, which means OH GOD I COULD PRETTY MUCH TASTE YOUR CAT'S DICK and it was too much for me to handle. now i need a drink.
from stormyclaude :
omg, okay, you win. that is so fuggin' gross, dude.
from stormyclaude :
maybe i wouldn't have to use my teeth if you'd bring me those tweezers like i asked you to in the first damn place. your dick's so small i can barely find it.
from stormyclaude :
...but i'm writing DIE BRENDAN YOU OILY-MAN BLOWER. Unless you meant to type "writhing." In which case i am writing LEARN TO TYPE BRENDAN YOU OILY-MAN BLOWER.
from stormyclaude :
then you're the guy blowing him that's cut out of the bottom of the frame
from stormyclaude :
p.s. you're that oily man on the right
from stormyclaude :
http://www.chicagonightlife.com/images/10212002/vh1/2479.jpg
from stormyclaude :
no she lookes like a pissed-ON sarah silverman
from brennass :
funny, in the version you told me, you were 21 and it wasnt a jelly fish, it was a duck, and you fucked it.
from brennass :
go fuck a duck
from indie-anna :
i had one named jack. <3 xo.
from pillow-wept :
sounds like you hate your job as much as me. love your place. x
from y2kate :
WHAT?! how did a strip mall blow up?! that is crazy!!
from brennass :
thank balls
from y2kate :
i can see your diary! i can see!
from indie-anna :
helloo???
from brennass :
p.s. lick balls
from brennass :
ooooo look at me my name is brendan and i love eating shit
from tsamuk :
hey brendan, i deleted messenger from my computer because i'm a luddite, and also because i never knew how much fun coke snorting is is is is! suck it!
from indie-anna :
HEH! you. are. the. best. :)
from indie-anna :
will you take pictures of them for me pleeease? :)
from brennass :
you have to come party with me tonight...i bet your stupid boss doesnt let you shit in her mouth
from brennass :
oh my god you are such a huge asslut
from zerom3ph :
$20 in taco smell food? all by their lonesome??? ye gods... i hope you weren't planning on selling their liver on the black market. if so, you can kiss the mortgage goodbye.
from echopunk :
Super Towelphaser!
from indie-anna :
mr. t lives near me. & one day i was walkin' down the street, and saw this cab driver out leaning against his cab talkin' to another cabbie, and i SWEAR. he looked exactly like mr. t. so i, i walked up to him and grinned, he shook his head & laughed, i said, "will you please please please say...." and he cut me off with, "ipitythefool." to this day, i swear, it had to be him. also. have you heard him sing mother? nuthin' can touch that shit. <3 xo.
from indie-anna :
as soon as i get that megaphone, i'll be sending you a cd. & my life will be complete.
from low-light :
oh ... you may want to disregard that, uh, "package" you'll be getting from the pope today. ...yeah.
from echopunk :
Really? But never used, right? I though you were just sending me stylish porn.
from brennass :
no, i'm mad because you keep sexually assulting squirrels
from brennass :
decapitation if funny, but not when it happens to you
from echopunk :
that was an advertisement? how provocative.
from echopunk :
I like your Japan pictures. I do not, however, appreciate the pictures of a woman servicing a man, with evidence on her upper thigh. Though I do like her shoes. Have an okay day. Mondays are at least better than tuesday.
from indie-anna :
they look like a fairy tale...
from kstarr :
yes i am just trying to continue to rock the streets of our fair city with as much in-depth drunekn fevor as i possibly can. sometimes it gets a little tricky. like my shoes will get all dirty an' i don't really like that too much. whattaw 'bout you cop-killer?
from indie-anna :
doooood. do you want goodies or not? i may even send you something with kathleen on it - IF yr nice & if i'm feeling generous.
from indie-anna :
send me yr address then homeboy. i'll send you a stack of stickers to plaster canada with. wooo!
from stolenyouth :
not gone! returned. but thanks for adding me as a favourite. you are hilarious by the way and also canadian which gives you an infinite amount of points in my books (i have many). continue writing please, it makes me happy.
from brennass :
your awsome. that was the best review ever!
from kstarr :
whoa homeboy. i just totally had this dream where everybody ended up doing moonwalking contests underwater&it totally was completely shot to hell. totally. anyhow, hi. i haven't written at you in a while. word.
from indie-anna :
guess what? i don't like cookies. EXCEPT those iced animal cookies with the pink icing. you know the ones? goddamn. i just remembered how much i loved those cookies. i wonder if they still make them... <3 xo.
from brennass :
you are to wasted. your a drunk.
from indie-anna :
i'll be moving to canada effective immediately.
from kellybutton :
You have a good point there. I mean, bush spelled backwards is...hsub. That's like, a war cry of Satan or something, isn't it? ....Maybe?
from brennass :
buttslut
from robin-smith :
SINCE WHEN? You've sent way more e-mails than that in one day before. Fuckin' hell.
from brennass :
NO your upset with ME because I wont let you assrape my pets
from indie-anna :
i <3 yr poems. hahaha
from brennass :
FINE! as long as i dont have to look at your sluttyass face anymore
from echopunk :
Just that chorus part. I was more disturbed by how she kept caressing her pregnant belly.
from echopunk :
I watched SNL, also.
from brennass :
i know i had to work. beleive me i would have rathing been killing you...i mean eating sushi
from brennass :
LOLOLOLOL haha you are fucking funny. now all I can think about is dog shit in my mouth.
from brennass :
happy new apartment! i hope it fucking burns to the ground you peice of dog shit.
from robin-smith :
Talk to ya tomorrow, Scooby
from brennass :
I would love that, but my ass is already full with your moms strap on
from echopunk :
you never asked.
from echopunk :
Ha! Like you've been pretending.
from brennass :
oh my god that was even more horible than the sucking comment
from brennass :
i've thought about this and decided you are not allowed to move further away from me. i think you should stop being so selfish. and stop assraping my pets.
from maticus :
thanks for joining the timmy diaryring. "that's timmy AND the lords of the underworld"
from brennass :
happy valentines day!! here, have some herpes.
from indie-anna :
only cracked it. it is my firm belief that had i been wearing different shoes, i would have busted it completely. i've been known to do that you know. but only to the deserving. xo.
from indie-anna :
yesterday i actually got HIT by a moron in her lexus while she was talking on her cell phone. so i kicked the shit out of her headlite. <3 xo.
from brennass :
Oh that was horrible. I will leave it up so everyone will finally see what an evil bastard you are.
from brennass :
P.S. your gay
from brennass :
your just jealous cause you dont have the balls to eat shit!! SO THERE. WANNABESHITEATER!!
from indie-anna :
i think i'm afriad for you to get another job cause then there won't be anymore rhymes like this, and of course yr gangsta rap. <3 xo.
from robin-smith :
Whole Foods, baby. You won't be sorry. Are you vegan?
from robin-smith :
Where you shoppin' at, Willis? I'm sure Whole Foods has the whole Tofutti arsenal, including Vanilla Fudge ice cream, which is spoogeworthy in its melty fudgy goodness.
from z0tl :
you rap well about office space. i'm making that weird cd of yours (never heard of any of those people, but thank gawd for kazaa), if i like it, hooray for me.
from robin-smith :
Well, since I already accepted an imaginary marriage proposal, I guess I can go on an imaginary date too. Eight it is. I like Strongbow cider.
from robin-smith :
Can we go to the Horseshoe? I love it there.
from robin-smith :
You have NO IDEA how much I want to. Ottawa sucks.
from brennass :
thats was the best rap ever. i just shit myself.
from brennass :
hey here's a slogan for you "TOWELPHASER! Just can't keep his clap to himself!"
from brennass :
thanks for RUINING MY LIFE
from brennass :
hey guess what? your a sack of shit.
from indie-anna :
montreal. it's cool. & then when i go to montreal we really can throw chairs.
from indie-anna :
can i throw some fucking chairs with you man?
from robin-smith :
Now I see you're just using me for my plumbing. (Is that what the kids are calling it these days?)
from robin-smith :
I'm honoured. I do. Now kiss the bride and then get your bitch ass in the kitchen and make me some dinner, dammit!
from brennass :
look at all the notes i leave you. slut.
from brennass :
okay very funny. i get it. NOW GET ONLINE AND MAKE ME LAUGH!!
from brennass :
Pssst! hey its brenna's ass again...SCAN ME!! SCAAAAAAAAAAAAAN ME!! SCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN ME!!!
from echopunk :
wink. wink.
from brennass :
i'd much rather find a lead pipe and crush his skull with it
from brennass :
i'm bored. can i borrow your dad for a few hours?
from brennass :
no YOUR french. haah! how does it feel frenchie?? huh?? ooooooooo frenchie gonna cry???
from brennass :
assrape mcgee
from pirategirl :
A pirate I may be, but I'm a loser pirate. I can't even drive a fucking boat. And that doesn't change the fact that I still think you rock ass.
from achren :
towels are always a giveaway. wait, that sounds weird. and ride songs are always good things. even in relation to the smell of batteries. i think i just stopped making sense. .m.
from achren :
that has to be a douglas adams username. yes? no? regardless: i think we can share "vapour trail" if we both play nice. i am thinking i will have to be reading more of your dairy, hrm. .m.
from brennass :
knock knock. whos there? THE CLAP!!!!
from indie-anna :
yr "request" has been noted, and as soon as we have "music" recorded, i will give yr ears the extreme pleasure of listening. and just so you know, i am now done with the "quotes". ;) xo.
from screamicorn :
Oh, i forgot to say that you suck ass, because i was busy not being bothered about insignificant things. you festering canker on the arse of humanity's pet baboon.
from indie-anna :
"band"? maybe. ;) yes. hahaha why?
from indie-anna :
M-I-N-E. mine. i called her first. ;)
from y2kate :
i am so glad to see you updating so regularly brendan. you can totally star in my movie. yay! we have to hang out soon man!! i haven't seen you or jeanette in like forever!!
from pixiia-8 :
hey mister. what's your e-mail address?
from echopunk :
No, don't usually check that phone over break. Call my cell and I'll call you back. I'm home now, so I'll call from there. My mom can pay.:) I emailed you the survey, but ignore it. I'd rather talk to you...
from kstarr :
SPACE BOOGIE.
from brennass :
B A L L I C K E R
from screamicorn :
See the amazing castrato brendan, as he attempts to hit the hightest note on the richter scale. See his glasses strain to prevent his eyes from popping out as he performs his daredevil stunt. See the children mock him. See the fact that he is at least half mule as part of the reason he can squeak so good! * brought to you by screamicorn ~ making up for lack of gold membership with devestating wit since... oh about an hour ago.
from brennass :
andrew wk is also crosseyed. you know that they say about crosseyed people eh? they say you cant trust them and we should kill them all.
from screamicorn :
well, you're not mr t so shut up. :P but seriously, you suck in a good way. here, have a patronising pat on the head.
from zoopie :
i concur with your xmas song
from y2kate :
hahahaha!!!!!!! that is sooo sick! i wish i could've seen it! hahahaha!!!!!
from brennass :
HAHAHAHA. fuck you.
from brennass :
jobby the jobber mcjobsalot
from echopunk :
*smirk* it's all about the wordage, baby, all about the words...
from brennass :
THANK YOU!! Now i can stop holding my breath
from echopunk :
Birthday? Jeremy Enigk!!!! i was just wanting that today, you mind reader, you. Do you have strings with bright eyes? ~j
from brennass :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLDASS!!!
from screamicorn :
i bet you put on women's clothing and hang around in bars too.... you sick sick sick sickity sicko.
from screamicorn :
LLLLLLLLUMBERJACK!!! Leaping from tree to treee... diddly diddly... I'm a lumberjack and i'm ok, i sleep all night and i work all day. I cut down trees, i eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory. On wednesdays i go shopping, Have buttered scones for tea!
from echopunk :
don't be sad. i like to think i count as someone. should i note myself?
from echopunk :
I guess everyone agrees that seattle is way cooler than toronto. *sigh* you almost had me. oh well. Thanks for the noting, seems like I might end up back where i started, anyhow. hope all is well. drop me an email. ~j
from ninety8fog :
i want to be canadian and be a logger and sing zany songs...damn this yankeehood....
from brennass :
Dear Bredno: come back soon, the cows have contracted the clap.
from brennass :
i smell. no wait, thats you.
from brennass :
brendo i miss you ASSSMUSTFIGHTURGETOSAYSOMETHINGBAD ASSSSSSSSSFFFFFFFFFUUUUNONONONO I MISS YOU ASSSFUCKKKSHITBALLS
from y2kate :
you're back! YAY!!!!! OH MAN BRENDAN! YOU RULE!! that is sooo awesome that you put up a picture of jnet and elliot sleeping. i was NOT joking all the times i said i wanted to see that! HAHAHA! i'm her stalker! your new places rules and i can't wait to hang out with you guys there. yay!!
from brennass :
okay look i'm sorry, just please come back online. i really need to tell you what a sorry exuse for a human being you are.
from brennass :
happy new home you stupid piece of dog shit
from echopunk :
How's the new digs? ~j
from brennass :
HI!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! SEE YOU TONIHGT ASSFUCK!
from screamicorn :
i got a tetanus shot very early on sunday morning. the needle went in my ass. i'm afraid i don't have a picture.
from brennass :
I wish you would just hurry up and die
from brennass :
nice picture. i'm going to print it out and wipe my ass with it.
from amrita :
you shouldn't i was a little taken back at first but the truth is i didnt really know what to say in your blurb. i do read your diary but i'm not sure why. :>)
from amrita :
took it off
from brennass :
and it's not nearly as good as when your dad does it
from brennass :
i didn't think it was possible for us to cross the line. but you just did. in fact you pole vaulted over it. *shudder*
from brennass :
Whats it like to have your whole day consumed by wishing you were gobbling cock!??
from brennass :
whats it like being a FUCKING ASSHOLE
from dondello :
holy shit, i had skimmed over the subway/arrest part.
from ninety8fog :
bummer about the cops. but hey, shit happens. new design too, eh?
from tsamuk :
christ, i can't believe you got arrested. remember the time you were fined for open-bottle alcohol possession in a rotary park? or the time we beat that cop to death outside the shell station? that was awesome.
from screamicorn :
my dog just farted while i was reading your diary. so i thought i'd leave you a note to let you know that your diary will forevermore remind me of really stinky farts from a tiny one-eyed dog. congratulations
from screamicorn :
please
from screamicorn :
even if i didn't like you, i could still read all your notes. i could laugh and think how sad the people who leave you notes are. unfortunately, they are all really really really cool. so that didn't last long. And so are you, you big craphead. now LEAVE ME A NOTE!
from brennass :
When i read your profile i laughed so hard i almost shit blood
from kstarr :
ROCKRCOKRROCKROCKRORO KCKCKBOXZOTRRROCK BOX ROCKING THE HARDEST IN THE SOUTH HAMPTONS ROCK.
from kstarr :
THAT IS ALMOST LIKE A SIN NOT KNOWING THAT SONG! 'whose house?' 'RUN'S HOUSE !! [say whaaat]'
from echopunk :
I called back. Hey, that was a funny story. You keep doing that, with the funny stories. Don't quit it. ~j
from kstarr :
don't you know that song?! go get it now or i'll make you a mix tape. run's house - run dmc.
from laura-jane :
i quite liked the 'second cup uniform incident' story.
from kstarr :
WHOSE HOUSE?!
from brennass :
sending you hate mail just isnt as fun when you dont respond. wait, yes it is. i hope you get swallowd by a giant elephant anus.
from brennass :
that does sound like me except my lyrics would be "I want Brendan to die!!!"x42
from brennass :
i do things with furniture that are illegal in most countries, you only wish you were there. assbandit.
from brennass :
I'm glad your back:) you sick asslicking piece of monkey balls
from brennass :
have fun white water rafting. i hope you drown, you inbred assfucker.
from brennass :
I just wanted to say hi, and that i fucking hate you and wish you would die. okay bye :)
from y2kate :
oh man! i just found out the same bit of information tonight. it's hilarious that sloan is playing in welland. why? cause just LAST WEEK i was having a discussion with some people about how sloan has played in like every city in ontario...except welland! hahaha. well now we can scratch welland off the list! i'm totally gonna be there!
from echopunk :
once more I take the fall for all stupid americans. I fail to see the fairness in this all. Pfft. ~j
from pixiia-8 :
badaba shib shib shib ba shibbahhh
from brennass :
good. do that. it will just give me and your dad more time together.
from brennass :
i wish that to so when i slept with your dad it would REALLY piss you off
from echopunk :
I'm always watching... Did that sound creepy? I was going for creepy. *shy wave* Remember me? ~j
from brennass :
and i love cupping your ass. it feels like....your fathers
from brennass :
I really want to come over to see your kitten...hee hee wooo hooooo hoooo mmmmmmm
from brennass :
Hey congrats to you too...for winning the BIGGEST ASSHEAD AWARD!!
from kstarr :
you can come over and smash my walls. HAW HAW!
from brennass :
You cant quit the cup!! Where will I go for free coffee!?!?? HUH!?!? YOU ARE SO SELFISH!!
from thomo :
everytime i read mention of the accordian i cringe. PLEASE be gentle.. and no, i dont trust you
from y2kate :
man, i totally must see the documentary on jake. that sounds sooo hilarious! you should get rid of the extra ice cream cones with the sling shot.
from pixiia-8 :
ACK! Something went terribly awry, and my whole computer froze for sooo long. Sob. I was only able to see Jack Black before tragedy fell. The likeness boarders on genius! :)
from brennass :
UPTOWN BABY!! UPTOWN BABY!!
from pixiia-8 :
YES!! My new yahoo is schnauzerpants. IM me sooon! I need to hear the spider story! Fucking enrique - grrrr! :))
from echopunk :
someone's in an unbearably happy mood. I bought the neutral milk hotel cd yesterday. finally. I have six by seven on hold at work because it just came in and I remember how much you loved it. Tram is nice. Perhaps you might like? //// Miss you. ~j
from brennass :
HAHAHA your one funny mutherfucker. I laughed really loud and my coffee nearly went up my nose. I hope you shit blood too.
from kstarr :
i like your style home boy! ROCK THAT BOAT.
from brennass :
here let me help you: brendan likes to talk about his gaping asshole, and once at a shit cassarole, then he was put on parole, for eating a mole, and then gyrating with a pole.
from brennass :
hi brendo! long time no see. hope you didnt get your face stuck in the coffee grinder, and then when reaching to unplug it jammed your hand into a pot of hot bubbly acid, only to discover it's LSD type acid and you think your in the desert and the only way to avoid sunburn is to cut off all your skin with a dull razor you found behind second cup.
from c1996 :
you probably did, i was down there around 12:30 or so today and i was wearing a blue shirt that said dirt rider on it
from echopunk :
I'm your friend, stop picking on him, brenna! (or at least tell me ahead of time, so I can join in.) Hey brendan...smile. ~j
from brennass :
p.p.s. the last 5 postings are from me. get some friends, loser.
from brennass :
p.s. i had lunch at the market today
from brennass :
So im yelling "FOUR WITH A U!!" then they will be confused and we all know that a state of confusion is the best time to asspunch someone
from brennass :
i saw a chicken carcaus being eaten by thousands of flesh eating parasites and thought of you
from brennass :
i'd watch your back if i were you. and your ass.
from brennass :
look, just becuase i sodomized you thru most of your childhood, there is no need to hold a grudge
from kstarr :
hi there carson why don't you have any other means of ONLINE INTRANERT COMMUNICATION besides msn?
from uberjnet :
i don't begrudge your cat-letting-in-isness. in fact, i applaude you. and i love you. bah.
from echopunk :
Yo. Too tired to function the email thingy. Notes I can handle. Hiya. :) ~j
from echopunk :
So, I have been all phone weirded out due to my broken antennae. (Did I just spell that plural? I belive so.) But. BUT. I have never forgotten about you. No sir. You are sorely missed. :) Hope all is well on the Northern front.~J
from brennass :
hi :) i just thought i would write to say that my bike is better than your and if you ever want to drag race, you give me a shout. oh, and one more thing...I FUCKING HATE YOU
from pixiia-8 :
yes, they do look a bit ironical to actually be prefab. And I researched them more and was stoked about the show in the end, and then i missed it. :(. They went on at 10:30 and my friend and I were stoned and late for everything and then had mad cab problems that actually cost me far more than the show would have. And i missed it. I'm bummed. I got really drunk and went to see strippers instead. Not as good. lol.
from pixiia-8 :
yea? So should I go d'you think?
from kstarr :
mang, you want leg breaking, you got it. grab the crowbar and i'll get the bat, choice weapons of legbreakers inc. [thats you and me] carson daily ain't got nothin' on us, nothin', shhhhhiiiat.
from brennass :
whale noises are fun until your ears start bleeding
from kstarr :
SCREW YOU HIPPY
from y2kate :
why did the aisler set make you wanna jab things in your eyes? they're good...well, maybe they played bad?..but i'm still kinda disappointed i didn't go. oh well!
from brennass :
uh oh, was that your head i just peed on?
from brennass :
DONT MAKE ME CUT YOU!! I'LL CUT YOU SOOOOOOOO FAST MUTHAFUCKER!!!!!
from brennass :
remember that time last night at second cup when you spilt scalding hot coffee all over my face? well i think it might scar. but scars are cool, so its okay.
from brennass :
coldballs
from echopunk :
hey you.
from brennass :
hi brendo! remember that time i came into your work and demanded to see the manager and when the manager came out i mooned him. that was fun eh?
from echopunk :
something tells me you already have the drugs. Now the hamster...that's soemthing we can work on. ~j
from brennass :
i know where you work. now give me free coffee. bitch.
from echopunk :
congratulations. ~j
from brennass :
remember that time i let you perform open heart surgery on me? yeah well i still have to use my ass to check my pulse.
from brennass :
i went back for the milk. i had to. 2 grocery stores in a span of 2 hours. now if that ain't a party, i dont know what is.
from brennass :
yes, a vomitting cat with stomach wrenching diarehha. now that is funny, but definatly not "ha ha" funny.
from brennass :
barf is funny
from kstarr :
rock steady!.
from brennass :
woo hoo brendan's back like a case of herpes! you were missed. sorry about this weekend. you said it yourself, i'm a bastard when i'm drunk. brennaballs.
from echopunk :
brendan!!!! big smile. miss you, please come online. now now now. please?
from brennass :
you smell like ass
from brennass :
my roomate saw you at second cup, maybe it was timothy's. she said you were on sebatical. i felt this sense of sadness that made me want to run to see if maybe you left a used coffee cup laying around, just a trace of you. then i felt the need to come over to your house and kill you with a ballpoint pen. anyway, yah, lets hang out sometime!
from echopunk :
uh...no. I'm pretty sure a lot of the guys wanted to clap when Kirsten had her wet shirt scene, but their girlfiends probably hit them first. They all did stupid, "Woo! America! New York! Muthafucka!" Which I'm assuming they did not do there, seeing as how you are in Canada. And you guys dont like us that much. Enough patriotic imagery to make you gag, eh? Why do you keep going away? ~j
from kstarr :
rOck it to roll!
from brennass :
I'LL CUT YOU SO FAST!!!
from brennass :
i'm sorry, do i know you?
from echopunk :
hey buddy, some of us appreciate 80's rock. Flock of Seagulls, anyone? Oh yeah. I got the new weezer cd. yes to cake. I <3 cake. miss ya, dawg. ~j
from echopunk :
youre never ever coming back, are you? 7 days its been. 7. *sob*
from brennass :
junky balls
from brennass :
can you fix my template! surprise me! SURPRISE!! YAAAAAAAAH!! HURRRAHH!!! WHIPPPEEEEEE!!! I LOVE JESUS!!!
from brennass :
remember that time yesterday when i bought a jesus tshirt. that was fun. then we had coffee and a cookie that was the size of our heads. then you put it in your asscrack and didnt tell me...that wasnt so fun.
from brennass :
H O M O
from brennass :
You've tasted freedom...and will never return...SIGH
from ninety8fog :
So, like, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!!!!! jerk.
from echopunk :
brendan! i dunno, i just wanted to say hi, because i like to. hi. ~j
from brennass :
Brendan!! wherea re you??
from brennass :
did you like my poem for you?? hmmmmmm?
from brennass :
BRENDOOOOOOOOOOOON
from echopunk :
you need to get your malfunctioney-ness (ha!) taken care of, buddy. or else. (oooh. empty threats.) ~j
from echopunk :
hullo. you left last night? disappearer. (my word, shut up) have a happy day, brendan. ~j
from brennass :
thats was fun last night, except when we couldnt go in the big castle cause people were doin it. i have lots of bruises today i dont knwo why...probably from wrestling that yak.
from brennass :
ARE YOU BACK YET?? U WANNA PLAY SOME MUTHERFUCKIN HACK SAC IN HIGH PARK TONIGHT???
from echopunk :
i went to the beach tonite, and i was just sitting there thinking how pretty and serene it was. then i noticed a couple other people milling. then i noticed that all of them were carrying bottles of alcoholic beverages. independently. then i felt left out. *sigh* what kind of world is this when you cant even fit in on a deserted beach? ~J
from echopunk :
uh, no, havent yet encountered the beastmaster thing. anything ferret=badness and evil taking over the world. ferrety badness. newly coined phrase. say it when something crappy occurs. ~j
from echopunk :
brenda? brenda, is that you?
from echopunk :
dont you smirk at ME, buddy. no smirking allowed. you suck. (not always, mostly just cause youre not talking online to me at this moment) mostly. and you put the creepy in "ferret". ha! ~j
from echopunk :
If it starts with a t and ends with an r, its probably brendan, who is a TRAITOR and too good for notes now. shun him poeple, until he realizes the err of his ways. wait, dont, thats mean. just boo and hiss a bit. then play nice. ~j
from brennass :
asshead. asssssssssshead! i sat alone in the market today. then two weird men in wheelchairs came up to me and sat with me even though there were lots of empty seats and then they were laughing at me becaue i was eating raw vegatables. this wouldnt have happened if you were there with me. you could have simply flashed them your asscrack.
from echopunk :
i am procrastinating, dropping by to say hello. so i heard youve become a regular lil housewife (ish) type person. anyways, thats what stef said. :). that person below, they said kinda not so nice stuff about the get up kids and i was hurt. sorta. but i knw what they mean. i'm listening to saves the day. (ooo im sooo emo) and his lyrics are really disturbing. sample: "The last time that i saw you...i should have had my hammer...nail you on a wall with rusty spikes and use bottles to catch your blood, display you for the neighbors. and i draaaank your blood..." and it has a strangely poppy beat. brenna's cool, she feeds trolls. you are cool too. yup. have fun not working. whore. *sigh* im jealous. ~J
from amazingsushi :
jenn (echopunk) says to thank you for indirectly introducing me to neutral milk hotel. so, thank you. :)
from brennass :
You have to come back. i'm hungry. i have a 1 week gym pass with your name on it...thats your excuse to come doontoon. come back...i mean your not even on messenger anymore. i've had to resort to doing work!! what will become of me?
from central-red :
ok. so i am at work and i have nothing to do, and like, i have decided to start reading your diary from the first and i haven't gotten all that far into it and you mention ned's and ride and you just mentioned the get up kids woodson ep, and like, i can't get into the g.u.k. anymore, really, but if someone threw on the woodson ep i would probably not say anything salty. that ep is soooo emo. it makes me think of when i first got into them and then it makes me think of when i first got out of them. weird weird times. you should throw on slanted and enchanted instead. word em up.
from brennass :
Oh did you ever miss out today mofo..I went to st. lawrence and got a kickass salad and then i bought food for my party. I felt like such a grown up and then I flirted with ever cheese boy hoping to get a deal. Maybe if you were there to show your ass it would have worked. Damn you.
from froodie :
i think i could indeed have fallen into the river suck. :-) and the inny. and the brosna. maybe I just fell over it in geography class.
from brennass :
Too good for lunch we me eh? Well i'm going to eat lunch for two then i'm going to go to your office and puke on your desk. slut.
from brennass :
you make me sick. do you think car crashes are a cause for a drinking game? huh? ooo ooo i got a new drinkin game called "my parents are dead!" or how about "cancer! lets get drunk" will the fun ever end? HMMMMMMM?
from brennass :
hey ass burgler...remember that time yesterday after work when you said I could walk to broadview and its below the ravine? YOU WERE WRONG!! I walked to parliament (20 min later) took the street car thru the ghetto, crossed a bridge with a ravine underneath it, fed the troll, and then FINALLY got to broadview. No way i could have walked that one fuckeyes. *editors note: brenna's in a mean mood today
from echopunk :
don't we all? *sigh* bloody fucking brilliant. hey, is that a double negative? or emphasis? does it really matter? i told work i had to go to a funeral of a family member i had never met, hence rendering me unable to work tomorrow. i heard it was going to be a really good park day. does that make me a bad person? ~j
from central-red :
thanks, dood. you're nice.
from brennass :
hey remember that time at lunch today when we bought candy and then made those children promise us that we can exchange souls with them at the gates of hell on judgement day for candy? that was fun.
from brennass :
lubey mcass
from brennass :
In a perfect world peanut butter would be taken in exchange for other goods.
from echopunk :
now who needs to "suck it the fuck up"? a vague reference to weezer is a compliment in my book. even if it is just to "the guy". i think its the hair. ~j (bye!)
from echopunk :
oh and you know how i had as many entries as you? damn you for not having a life. now you are about 20 up on me. i might have to call out of work for 3 days straight just to catch up. oh wait. i was thinking about doing that anyhow. ~j
from echopunk :
barbra fucking streisand? *sigh* you are such a bitch. :) ~j
from brennass :
Hey brendan remember that time at lunch today when we didnt have lunch together but we ran into eachother on the subway? that was fun eh? some time we should go back to fit for life and have a falafel but instead of a falafel we should see if they have kitten wraps.
from echopunk :
old adage and such...learn something new everyday. ~j
from echopunk :
bedhead is the new black. you are actually super stylish, the man just doesnt recognize. RECOGNIZE! (sambuca) hope your day is brilliant! ~j
from echopunk :
i meant antiques. and that was my roundabout (yet not dumbass) way of saying "right back at ya, buddy". ~j
from echopunk :
i love anitques. the phone works both ways. i've always wanted to be a madwoman. go me! ~j
from brennass :
HI brendan, remember that time we went to the market and yhou had a hot dog?? and i feel so bad because i was distracted and then when i looked at you your hotdog was gone, then we sat down while i ate my salad but i never really felt like we had lunch together. and now we will never get that time back.
from central-red :
thank you! enjoy your radical birthday coffee. in honor of your birthday, i will listen to the microphones, masturbate, and then take a nap. happy birthday!
from pixiia-8 :
Phew! :)
from pixiia-8 :
Damn yo, that haircut sounds like some bad shiit! Excellent, we stand united against echopunk the ferret executor, but just be careful, be very careful...she is a madwoman. A MADWOMAN I SAY!!
from elle8 :
i actually have duplicates of the girl homie who wears a tie. she's one one I totally don't get. The elfin-homie with the big sneakers I have too, except he was warped in the sun a little bit so he slouches and looks kind of like he might have cerebral palsy. it's all good.
from pixiia-8 :
Oooooh, the friar tuck...good look. Not. :D
from echopunk :
this will probably sound wrong, but if you smear china pet seed mush on your head, my cat would lick you. lick it actually. have a good day, no-hair-boy. ~j
from echopunk :
nope. its beautiful here. canada is just...all weird like that. i think i found a ferret clamp pic on google, apparently you arent alone. ~j
from pixiia-8 :
Weird coincidence. I just cut Jules' hair. Really really short. This is how it was - heh-hem: Pix- You look like... Jules- Henry Rollins? Pix- no... Jules-Ian Mckay? Pix-no... Jules-Do you even know who Ian Mckay is? Pix-mmm, no... Jules-who? Pix-Jennier Jason Leigh in Georgia..at the end, after rehab. Jules-I don't like you anymore. He has little bald spots and shit...not good.
from echopunk :
so. has it grown back yet? ~j
from vundervuman :
soooo many notes what can I say? An old sweat sock sparkling jello (always room) and Scott Baio.
from pixiia-8 :
!!! That is amazing!
from pixiia-8 :
so you are not a little lamb? You don't love your grammy very very much? lol. Yea, it is kinda weird. But still cool. Gramma still rocks as far as i'm concerned.
from pixiia-8 :
You dig this story so much because you are a darling little lamb of a young gentleman who loves his grammy very very much, yes? :D That story is great, and now I love it too. Old women who are all about being cool and strong rock the cazbah, it's always inspiring.
from toothbrush :
Ok, so I did! You sure showed me! I admit it! I completely forgot about that brief little mention. You don't play cello, do you?
from toothbrush :
Ok, I don't think you're a psychopath (the eerie music was just a wee joke!) but I swear, I don't remember mentioning my cello in my diary unless you read waaaaaaay back to last summer. To be honest, and I know it's a damn shame, I haven't played it in a long time. I used to be an ok cellist but I'm afraid to see how badly I suck now.
from toothbrush :
How did you know I played cello? I don't remember mentioning it in my diary... (cue eerie music) Also, I probably don't live anywhere near you. I pretty much live far away from everyone. Seriously.
from froodie :
urgle gurgle. I wish I lived somewhere on the beaten track.
from zoopie :
hey, what's this too "cool to update" thing? you haven't exactly been the updating king lately, i remind you!!
from echopunk :
haha! at this moment in time, this frozen second...i have just as many entries as you! cool, huh? :) have a pleasant day. ~J ( i am listening to the most bizarre song in the world, which i have a distinct feeling you would appreciate...its called dwarf invasion. random lyric sample: "you are 2 feet tall! you cant play basketball! this is dwarf invasion!" heh.)
from pixiia-8 :
haha, en route to the bar is hiarious. J is a cutie!
from zoopie :
haha dood.
from froodie :
haha! Hello. I just realised that I posted my last note twice. I'm a brainy one me! Haha! Bassness. I love it. I would be a bass player and I will be, some day. But not right now. Hey, btw. I think you should get bored and sign my slambook. So should everyone else who reads this note for that matter. Because I'm bored too!
from echopunk :
unless you meant my entry. cause then..uh...well you know all about the whipped cream can thing. ~j
from echopunk :
what??? my comment was very pertinent and related to a previous conversation. therefore, i have absolutely no excuse and feel no need to rely on one. tsk tsk. the paint chips show. :) ~j
from echopunk :
hey. its been awhile since noting and i got all nostalgic. so, as per sometime ago, happy belated birthday. so what if its 4 months late? i feel secure in my creepy internet stalker position. so there. :) i hope your great day brought you all that you wished for. (hows that? huh? i got it from hallmark) ~j
from blump :
brendan, your drink recipe sounds deeeelicious, and not at all girly. I WILL TRY IT AT ONCE. ps: isn't "one" from the first sdre album with all the fisher price people on it? isn't it one of my favorite songs?
from pixiia-8 :
I'm with that. Perogies doooo rawk.
from zoopie :
doooood, perogies fucking rawk!
from pixiia-8 :
PS. fackaids, LOL!
from pixiia-8 :
Lol. Nono, Harry Potter is all good, really. That entry was pointedly aimed at someone rotten. The rest of you carry on with Harry Potter, please, pay no mind to me :).
from pixiia-8 :
Ahahahahahahahahahaha. That's a good one. The internet is so full of wonder and joy sometimes, isn't it? Earnest, that's what I'd call it.
from echopunk :
were you smelling your crotch again? tsk tsk. what did we tell you about that? oh brendan. ~j
from starspark1 :
*hate* *hate* *hate*... no america vs canada part 2? ehhh nasty bit of suckage right there.. the both of you shall be sorely missed..
from starspark1 :
A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. the pirate journals induced me to into fits on various occasions... i loove the word cannon.. we must figure out how to build one at once. we'll take the high seas by storm! ~the captain
from kstarr :
studio k hmm? i dig that, i certainly do. well that and am flattered beyond a mortal sense. fickity fOw! xox.
from ninety8fog :
hey. sorry bout friday. my boss came in and scared me and i losed everything down so she wouldnt yell. dont hate me. :( stef
from echopunk :
this is a plea to the evil sickness that has claimed our poor brendan: let him go, please you evil flu type cretaure. he is kind and has done nothing but good. please let him come back in order to enthrall the masses and make them smile. i beg of you, your intervention will not work. our boy, he will still be a pirate. and he will laugh in your face, for he knows how to work his flair. ok. *ahem* thank you for your time, flu-thing....the last bit, i rambled on, but you get the general idea. everyone please hope brendan feels better because then he will come back sooner and we will not miss his wit so much. yes. ~j
from starspark1 :
pirate flair
from starspark1 :
definitely need matching hats.. and small pins.. 'flair' if you will... :)
from echopunk :
grog drinking??? what are these grogas and why have i been left out of the grog imbibing loop for so long?? anyhow, to expand, i feel that we should begin each voyage with a nice techno rendition of kumbaya (sp?) and have an Underground Pillage CD Volume 4. we can hire a local villager to play the hip hoppin beats as we plunder, and such. and how does everyone feel about matching hats? im thinking purple evlevet and some feathers. oh wait. hehe. i can be the Pimp Ship!!! heh. just think of the bling bling ship. (rolling on dubs, perhaps?) ~f*m*j
from starspark1 :
why guns?? swords are so much cooler! and you get to watch your enemies die horrifically at your own hands.. har har... that reminds me? any preference who we should pillage first? i was mulling over the idea of pillaging a mall. i think that would be worthwhile. its full of wenches. and large amounts of booty. ~Captain of the Semi-Scoundrel Pirate Crew aka Bonnie
from starspark1 :
you know, i am thinking of arranging for a pirate obstacle course to help me choose my crew... you know, tests of grog-drinking endurance, having to swing from plank to plank on a freshly cut mast line, a piratey talent show, you could juggle, dress up a monkey, sing a piratey tune.. anything u want :)
from echopunk :
me=avoidy? very oblique. i AM avoidy or i should be avoided? as in i am avoiding you or avoiding work? im just getting ready, now. *sob* is noting you once or twice so bad? ~j
from echopunk :
park!!!!! :) ok. im really going now...~j (assumptioney?)
from echopunk :
look! how come you get all the cool, weird people to leave you notes, eh? anyhow, didya try your buddy list yet? huh? huh? heh. ~j
from froodie :
ha ha! I'm adding you to my favourite diaries and there's no way you can stop me. Hee hee hee. You don't know me, but you know where I got my name! Haha! Hoopy, really hoopy man! HAHA! (sorry about the laughing thing. I'm really tired and hyper)
from froodie :
ha ha! I'm adding you to my favourite diaries and there's no way you can stop me. Hee hee hee. You don't know me, but you know where I got my name! Haha! Hoopy, really hoopy man! HAHA! (sorry about the laughing thing. I'm really tired and hyper)
from echopunk :
it's sunny today. i wanted to taunt you with threats of us going to have a picnic, but i'd be lying. damn this conscience!! damn it!! anyhow...hey! :) ~j
from pixiia-8 :
I feel your pain. I live in a student ghetto. We have a washer and dryer in our basement, that take tokens, which you must procur in bulk from the scary landlord. These machines eat your tokens and do nothing to your clothes. As far as I can tell they are there for looks only. And the basement always has rotting meat and sounds of movement in it. The nearest laundromat is blocks and blocks away. It takes your money, and does some stuff to your clothes, but does not provide hot water, even though the proprietors try to pretend they do by offering a hot water setting on their machines. If there are stains on your dirty laundry there are ineveitably stains, still, on your 'clean' laundry. Why aren't the young and the poor allowed by society, and god, to have clean, dry, presentable clothes?? sigh.
from zoopie :
the dryers at school suck. here's where they get ya: you pay $1 to dry your clothes, then they aren't dry, so you pay another $1, or you have wet clothes. that's how they get you. that's why i do laundry at home hahahaha. that's also why i wear dirty clothes. laundry sucks.
from caerydd :
happy happy pills :)(I'm an oddball, can ye tell¿)
from caerydd :
you funny, you make me laugh, I go hehehehehehehehehehe, do you¿
from diaryreviews :
hello! your diary review has been posted at: http://diaryreviews.diaryland.com/towelphaser.html!
from echopunk :
how's that picture for recognizing the rest of weezer, eh? can you guess where it's from...? *sigh* the best video displaying odd acts of bestiality around. ~j
from echopunk :
weezer is all of them, its just rivers...i dunno. no words to describe...btw...hi! :) ~j
from zoopie :
roar! or something similar...
from echopunk :
yeah, but I dont have slut buttons put on my clothes on purpose. ~j
from echopunk :
its blissful...really...
from echopunk :
minion. do my bidding. ~j
from starspark1 :
this one's 20 times heavier than a boot!!!! damn. hehe.. manwich... heh.
from echopunk :
yo. ~j
from echopunk :
ARGH!! YOU SPELT MY NAME WRONG!!!!but that was a nice sentiment...~j
from echopunk :
i wanna say you suck. you dont, but i wanna say that you do. ~j (thats my version of a compliment)
from zoopie :
ah, see, you should have gone and then i could like vicariously through you! mwhahahaha
from echopunk :
is there a worse part to a tin of altoids?~j
from echopunk :
hmmm...babe, it's anesthetic. no a in the beginning. :). actually you could spell it the way you did, but it looks funny. its all canadian and stuff. for everyone else: apparently girls are insane because towelphaser doesn't understand why girls fall for assholes. duh. i tried to explain, but...you know how boys are. ~j
from zoopie :
geez. what did we (we = girls) do now?
from zoopie :
hm... well, i am going home this weekend. we're not allowed to have stoves, and even if we could there's no room here. we have too much junk!
from zoopie :
i wonder if one of the lunch ladies would make it for me. dorms don't have much for the making large grilled cheese kinda things. well, spazz has a grilled cheese maker, but i think triple would be an overload.
from echopunk :
same thing? :) ~j
from zoopie :
wait wait, what did i say about canadian candy? i've never even had it!! jeeeeennnnnnnnn said all that stuff, not me!!!! i just showed her the page and then said that it was dumb that she had to sneak the candy out of the country. hey, are those ketchup potato chips really that good? oh, and btw, i will find a way back to scotland! black metal shall prevail woo!!
from zoopie :
hey, scotland's damn cool. i've been there and it's cooler than canada, so THERE! anyways, i didn't say i was going to live in scotland, just vacation there a lot. you can put the norway thing back if you really want!
from echopunk :
hi!!!! i cant think of anything of consequence to say. :) ~j
from echopunk :
nah. im just gonna stay onlike this. hehe. its like old SKOOL interaction. :) ~j
from echopunk :
touchy touchy. thats what hapens when you dont get enough sleep, eh? well if ski school 2 is worth it...*ahem* anyhow, msn is all hating on me. it keeps shutting down. argh. ~j
from echopunk :
interac? wtf is that? do you mean an ATM MACHINE? *shaking head* tsk tsk. freaky canadians. ~j
from echopunk :
brendan-i saw this and thought of you: www.manbeef.com. im not exactly sure what that says about you...but.;)i like meeting like this...it all seems so incidental. hehe ~j
from echopunk :
i felt left out. i AM an only child. lots of attention necessary. HI EVERYONE!!!!~j
from zoopie :
ok, well can i fall, winter, and spring there, too? like, in adition to summer?
from zoopie :
can i be in scotland instead of norway? it's pretty.
from zoopie :
do you mean black metal like the music, or do i get a really cool sword? cos i'm a fan of swords. or the music, i suppose. and, hey, what's wrong with burning churches and killing people? how many people can say they love their job?
from echopunk :
k. 2 options. 1. you didnt get my email. or 2. you have yet to respond. regardless, ill talk to you in a bit. im almost glad the simpsons sucked in a vindictive way-we got home way too late to catch it. ~j
from kstarr :
hoorah for rum balls.
from echopunk :
oh yeah,- what that person below said, that was the scariest fucking thing i have ever seen. where do you find this??? but anyhow. *big grin* hi. ~j
from starwarsporn :
The next time you put a link in your diary called "What the fuck" I'll know not to go to it. I just had the fear of God instilled in me again thanks to that. OH... YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FUNNY! Fine, so you are. Happy?
from echopunk :
how odd to see you entry-ing at night!!! you are all fucking with my head. but after that entry *grin* i suppose ill be forced to forgive you. ~j
from glitter-bomb :
you need to have your own cooking show!
from echopunk :
I've never been number 6 on anyone's list before!!! i feel special. you are special. great team. :)_ ~jenn
from echopunk :
ack. i hate multiple noting in one day. oh well. i just wante to say i got the primal scream song and i really, really like it. its so fucking...good. :-l ~j (im sure youve heard air by ben folds five, right...)
from echopunk :
oh. i see how it is. i was going to leave a moderately nice note saying how much i liked 'proof', but i just saw my description and im going to write somehting equally mean and upsetting. deal. ~j
from echopunk :
poor thing, i would be upset if i missed me to. :) download, "sorrow" by bad religion if you get a chance. its from da new cd, eh? bye...~j
from ninety8fog :
Its ok, i forgive you.
from ninety8fog :
Its ok, i forgive you.
from ninety8fog :
Just so you know i am not crazy and obnoxious like that...Jenn made me do it...and I am not into S&M.... all that much... hehe. And as a closing i would just like to say that you guys don't appreciate the master JayZ as much as you should.H to the..... have a nice day --stef
from echopunk :
i was gonna re send the same note with like one or two words changed, just so i could be like you with multiple repeat postings. alas, mr mcgee, i couldnt. deal. ~j
from echopunk :
yo dawg. i meant to say good night but i, of course, spazzed and knocked the keyboard all around. dont worry i hit my mean friend in the head with it(accidentally on purpose, ya know?)shes all s&m anyhow, so she thinks its an honor or compliment to be called mean. so. yeah. can you send me fred again? please???? he got lost in the eventual spazzing. H to the IZZO. you jayz freak. :) ~jenn echo. (who is the coolest person in the world and deems everyone else cool or not, brendannotcoolasme.)
from echopunk :
and i thought THIS was for notes. :) s'ok. i like the other way better...~j (should i start calling you "the bee whisperer"?)
from echopunk :
roald Dahl books were the bomb, how could i have forgotten??? silly me. oh well. hope your new year was awesome, but it sounds like it was. and thank you for getting the sneeze thing. upon further reflection i realized it sounded like i was actually fucking a prohistamine. which is disturbing in so many ways...:) ~j
from echopunk :
ah! i live in a happy bubble. a super happy bubble. (that didn't sound too fake, right?) but yes, mad propage. even though you didn't really prove you knew the source. i'll take your word. i don't think my problem is with a country. i think i just dislike most people in general. you, my good sir, also kick ass. :) have a nice day.
from echopunk :
thanks...poor student so i will download them. upon first inspection i though you meant i should go buy some stuffed animals. but i get it now. damn its been a tough w/end.
from echopunk :
First semester, perhaps? if so, hey buddy youve got good taste! im gathering new bands to lisen to? (thats right, im puttin 'em in my basket) anything?
from echopunk :
hmmm. you remind me of some one from school. my favorite is when the sweater smelled good. things like that make the world better.
from lucky-starz :
i dont play music. i WANT to play music. Im learning guitar. :)
from laura-jane :
i am quite impressed with this new layout of yours. please note: shaggy hair can never be too shaggy.
from suay :
You funny.
from uberjnet :
brendan rocks like a bag of drop hammers. MONKEY.
from spacegirl :
oh yeah, hi. jill@mercurypale.com OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT, oh, it's just a dead baby...(what DO you do with email addresses? spacegirl likes email ARRR)
from spacegirl :
what, you've never wished for a clone of yourself? MAN, THAT'S WHAT I GOT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS! NOW I HAVE TO TAKE IT BACK! arrrgh god, and i thought it matched you so well. ...star fruits surf rider. and i've got a new pair of dickies.

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